Frozen 2 explained by an idiot

[Music] maybe just one of you should do it i agree she's a little pitcher no one has since come welcome to frozen two where it starts out with anna and elsa as little kitties and their dad telling them a bedtime story about a magical forest with four spirits you got air fire water earth and this is gonna be one of those stories where you got to do something with all four elemental spirits and [ __ ] and some avatar crap okay cool and he proceeds to tell them the story of the people that lived in this forest called the neanderthal people or northern summer map okay and they are not magical but according to him they just took advantage of the forest's gifts so the [ __ ] freeloaders and the king of aries gay at the time which is their grandpa built them a damn as a gift to strengthen their waters or something okay and little king who's king now new king went there to see this gift and the celebration that they're going to make for this gift and over there he witnessed some of the forest spirits doing the doing a thing you know and i'm fairly certain from his tone that the heiress gates are going to end up fighting the neanderthal people yep there they go and you know because both sides are [ __ ] the spirits get mad and they lock off the entire forest in this fog of war that no one can exit or enter into you know the forest but not before he escapes with the help of this four spirit voice thing then he came back as king end of story and anna goes holy [ __ ] that was epic and they asked their mother questions about the story because they're curious little [ __ ] and she responds with only auntie helen knows wait that can't be right oh yeah only ata holland knows and apparently it's a river and maybe also a place that holds all the secrets and answers to the past then through song we transition to queen elsa now time alright and she gets startled by the soil due to attend to her royal duties why didn't this bimbo [ __ ] just unfreeze your hands didn't you unfreeze an entire [ __ ] kingdom last movie dumb ass doesn't matter we move on to modern day and and olaf who's having an existential crisis because well naturally he's as far as i can tell a non-aging living non-melting snowman naturally that's what's going to happen but in other news he's still savage as [ __ ] i can't wait until i'm aged like you so i don't have to worry about importance then we transition to them playing pictionary i know it's not called that but i forgot its actual name so i digress they playing anna sucks olaf kills it elsa also sucks but gets distracted by this voice only she can hear then she heads off to bed while anna is concerned for her and kristoff tries to pose to anna but she distracted like her word was ice and [ __ ] connected out why didn't she just point it all off he's basically ice that's cheating shut up white boy so she goes to see what's up with elsa and she's scared that she's gonna mess things up for the kingdom and stuff anna's like you're doing great when are you going to see yourself the way i see you probably when they invent cameras in photoshop they don't sass me [ __ ] i'm trying to be nice here now come on let's call me lesbians so they cooded and fall asleep and elsa was woken up by the voice again so she walks around and calls it a hoe she wasn't imitating it or sitting here now she was calling it a hoe and you can't change my mind then she sings a bit and magical stuff happens and she goes on top of this cliff and lets out a big [Music] then these magical christmas appear all over the place all over the kingdom like a lot okay and they have these elemental fire air earth wind symbols on them water not wind they already said air what the [ __ ] no okay well it doesn't matter point is these crystals all appear then someone throws a really big flashbang and something happens and then the crystals all fall down but none of them fall in their head and injure her because she's conveniently standing in the only place where none of the crystals would fall amazing the wind goes nuts the fire disappears so does the water which prompts elsa to go oh no the earth is next get everyone to the cliffs i know how this is going to be safer because last i checked cliffs are also made of earth but whatever the cliffs are fine and they all went away from the kingdom to the cliffs because it's being flash remodeled so now they're all safe and elsa tells anna about the voices she's here and anna goes damn elsa why you off your mids and she also tells her that she thinks she awoke the spirits of the enchanted forest no biggie then the stone trolls roll up and the old troll goes alright let's see what we got this time all right the past is not what it seems and wrong demands to be right what does that mean i know i don't speak fairytale what do you mean you're a little magical troll silence thought so they decide to go to the magical force and find the voice and cut out its vocal cords and on the way kristoff fails terribly at proposing again then elsa hears the magical voice and they see the fog of war and elsa parts the seas and go through the fog and the fog starts pushing them in and blocks them inside they can't get out anymore then anna and krista find the dam and yet another time he fails at proposing and kind of makes her think that they're breaking up it's not really as [ __ ] because she keeps interrupting through his whole proposal thing but there's a very simple solution you are not seeing here my dear [ __ ] whenever someone starts interrupting you and overthinking like that here's what you do observe [Laughter] shut up see what i did there moving on olaf gets lost and these leaves are colored differently which means something's gonna happen to them yep there they go easy prediction so the spirits keep [ __ ] with all off throwing them around tossing them all over the place scaring them then they get sucked up into a tornado and slowly the rest of them but they get all sp they get all they get all yeah grammar i can grammar they all get spit out apart from elsa because she's magic and the tornado turns into this valerant air ball thing and she tries to fight it off using freeze meanwhile anna keeps going closer to the thing like no my sister don't go closer you dumb overblown hemorrhoid what the [ __ ] is wrong with you don't you remember the first movie where you almost died on two separate occasions because of this crap oh whatever elsa does this big whoosh thing and ice sculptures appear and olaf gives them this woke theory my theory about advancing technologies is both our savior and our doom he's not wrong you know then he tells him about another theory where water has memory and these ice sculptures must be memories elsa froze out of the moisture in the wind or something like that right then the wind comes back except it's friendly now so olaf calls it or gill glenn is it i don't know it's something with a g jk he names the gail which is an important detail i know i mentioned it i couldn't just left that out but anyway i want to pause here for a second because i want to make a few predictions about this movie and its events okay you see i'm guessing that they're going to have to tame and befriend all the other spirits in this movie all the other four spirits to complete some sort of [ __ ] quest some [ __ ] and that the person that saved the dead in this memory right here is their mom and that the heiress gay people actually attack the nyanita people not the other way around and they're the one that created the [ __ ] problemo right and that's what needs to be fixed here just a wild guess i know wow this is a complete shot in the dark here now let's continue they hear some [ __ ] [ __ ] they don't hear [ __ ] they hear some horns and some northern people and some air and aliens come to attack them so elsa does some crowd control turns out they've been stuck in here in the forest for years co-existing although they hate each other i don't know why the aries gays haven't been completely wiped out yet there's like five them left but anyway olaf gives a better recap of the first movie than i did well at least they have their parents their parents are dead i'm being outdone by a bloody snowman geez anywho both sides are now up to speed on this whole kraft then the fire spirit comes along and creates a modern day gender reveal and elsa starts putting out the fire because only she can prevent forest fires christoph and sven save a bunch of reindeer and anna while elsa chases down the fire spirit and corners it to find out it's a tiny flaming gecko and all he wants to do is cool down a bit so she makes him some ice and he cools down so she befriends slash tames him see that taming the spirits let me guess his name is geico and he helps him save on car insurance too after that anna gets scared so elsa pulls their mom's scarf out of her ass and covers her with it and the north aldrin people go holy [ __ ] bro that's neanderthal scarf dang man limited edition too bruh it's gnarly man then they go back to the ice memories and figure out that this girl is their mom incredible who the thought then the neanderthals go we are called north uldra we are the people of the sun wait i thought you were the people of the forest what the heck also if you're not gonna be the people of the forest you're called north aldrins then you're supposed to be people north what whatever elsa gives them a big dick promise of freeing them from the forest then they set up camp for the night because earth giants roam around the night and it's not very sith and also finds out from this lady that there's a fifth spirit and figures out that the voice might be coming from that fifth spirit and she needs to go to auntie helen to figure out what the [ __ ] the spirit wants like what's up [ __ ] what's good and then some earth giants come very close to their camp so they shut off all the lights on the fire and stuff to be safe and elsa decides to follow the earth science and anna decides to tag along but christopher's fan have left because [ __ ] anna i guess that's what she thinks since she gets depressed because of that but actually christopher and sven went to make this grand old proposal with a bunch of reindeer in this [ __ ] which took the whole night to do but you know they left so [ __ ] by the way i kind of have a suspicion that kristoff is part north aldrin but that's just a theory a gay theory anyway back to olaf ginger and snow cone they find their parents ship and they get to the medieval equivalent of the ship's black box and find out that they were going north across the dark sea to ata holland to find the source of elsa's power then elsa uses the water in the wood to make another ice sculpture memory thing and guess banjo depresso kazooie like i'm the reason my parents died i don't know then after a small discussion with anna they decide to go to auntie helen to find out the truth together but elsa chiclet mcnuggets camboozles anna and olaf away to keep them safe i'm just having a blast making up random cat for these shitty videos by the way i was halfway on how elsa got her powers their dad did not have a frostbitten penis but he did stick his dick in some magical coochies so magical genitalia was involved anyway elsa sends off and on olaf away on a tiny bowl and they try to course correct but end up in a river with a bunch of sleeping earth signs so the course go back again into a scave and get lost but [ __ ] them for a second let's go back to elsa because right now she's doing some dumb [ __ ] okay real pumpkin spice latte white crap [ __ ] she finna go full track and field title jesus on the water trying to run across it to go to alcohol and i once again would like to remind you of the first movie where she literally froze the entire [ __ ] ocean and built a giant ice castle no matter seconds why can't you just make a big boat or like maybe a small bubble that goes through the waves underwater and propel yourself to paris jacob ice to water holland and if that doesn't work because the sea's too rough then just make a mile high bridge so the waves can't reach you and just go across it although a frozone glide your way over there once again i'm not saying that this is all gonna work 100 i'm just saying there's a lot of [ __ ] you could go through in your process before trying to run across the [ __ ] sea [ __ ] dumb broad all right whatever she goes at it and obviously is not faring off too well here cause duh it's tough then sees a water horse okay not a sea horse a water horse because this is the spirit of the water and she fights it off a bit makes it into ice and then it does a like snowflake thing but then after a bit more fighting mcbuddy and dragon mcslaggy she does this whole like um lasso thing you know horse riding lasso thing i don't know what it's called i'm not a posh [ __ ] a regular [ __ ] anyway she tames it and rides it across the sea to superman's fortress of solitude which is ata holland and she gets there goes inside and sees a bunch of ice culture memories one of which being one where her grandpa planned to betray the neanderthal people just incredible unbelievable twist right here unforeseen [ __ ] and also i want to point out that this dick had legit took his son to a place where he knowingly was going to start a war best dad ever then she goes down this [ __ ] hole to find more proof that he's a [ __ ] but oddly enough she starts freezing so right before she freezes completely she sends out an sos snowflare message to anna and freezes and the message guess who traps elsa and olaf it's a nice memory of pops being a [ __ ] so she goes like oh no we're the bad guys why and figures out that the damn he built sucks and actually harmed the forest people making their spirits weaker or messing up their mojo or something that so she figures they have to destroy it to undo the wrong that they did however if they destroy the dam it will send a like a big tidal wave that will prob destroy the entire kingdom of uh what i forgot my made-up name and the actual name oh my god the heirs gaze thing irondale yeah that so the wire will probably destroy aarondale but she's like whatevs no one's there anyway so [ __ ] it then olaf kind of disintegrates and they figure out that elsa is probably in deep [ __ ] right now and so olaf dies and anna cries a bit then she perks up and finds an exit and goes lara croft parkour is her way out of there then she looks at them goes damn and then she looks and then she looks at the earth monsters goes like i'mma piss them off because she wants to lower them over to the damn so they can destroy it for her but she sucks at running so christoph shows up because he's just [ __ ] uh wandering around aimlessly around the forest so he picks her up and they'll run over to the dam and she goes up there and then the heiress gay soldiers are like the [ __ ] you doing girl we have to break the damn it's the only way to lift the mist and fix our wrong and for you guys but everyday we'll go to [ __ ] whatever bro my kingdom my rules now [ __ ] off and make some noise so they do that and give the giants a nice big target to throw boulders at and anna stands in the middle of the [ __ ] damn to give yourself zero chance of escaping when the thing goes down real smart [ __ ] right there but i will see you through the power of disney fucktackery she lives the drivers destroy the damn and a bunch of [ __ ] happens one big title wave two elsa gets unfrozen three water ponies saves elsa for water pointing elsa go over to the kingdom and with a mixture of her ice powers and the water horse's water powers they make a big wall and stop the water from destroying the kingdom which gets me to thinking right if the dam was not the dam isn't strengthening our waters it's hurting the forest it's cutting off the noise which i interpret as messing with the spirit's groove you know they're [ __ ] with the moxie making them sad and pissed off which i believe that they knew that the dam was [ __ ] and the reason of their messed up moxie then why didn't the spirits just break it from the get-go they basically broke it now [ __ ] dumbass spirits whatever though kingdom is saved hip hip hooray the fifth spirit turns out to be elsa somehow olaf comes back to life kristoff finally proposes elsa makes anna the queen while she goes to live in the forest and make youtube videos about how to make secret underwater pools and what is this crazy magic called again a photograph i literally called it i predicted the invention of the camera in this movie i'm a genius then anna sends elsa on air letter with the help of gail that reads charades friday night and i remember it's called charades not pictionary so as it turns out i'm a double hoe there is this movie gets 12 pictionaries out of 10 dictionaries you

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Views: 3,730,473

Rating: 4.9676518 out of 5

Keywords: frozen 2, frozen 2 recap, everything wrong with forzen 2, frozen 2 explained, frozen 2 review, movie recap, movie, recap, spoilers, haha, funny, lol

Id: 0q4FlGDbMWo

Length: 13min 38sec (818 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 18 2021