Fr. Don Calloway, MIC Testimony

[Music] alright alright good stuff alright so we prayed a decade so we got that checked I mean that's good I love praying before my talk so that I don't say anything stupid it's not an election year so I don't have to worry about all right so out of curiosity cuz I know this is coming up in your area I wish I could actually stick around a few days after the conference who's going to see Bob Seger on Thursday anybody nobody are you kidding me guys a legend he's not gonna be around much longer at the Ford Center it's on Thursday shame on you guys you don't even know that dang man all right that's like the soundtrack for my life man like every one of those songs I feel like was written for me so alright so how many of you have heard my story before or seen a video or whatever how many of you don't know no shame sweet awesome great you're gonna be really shocked that I'm ordained okay that the Catholic Church ordains people like me okay I'm the last person that should be up here I hope I don't scandalize the bishop either because I just can celebrate a mass with them and I know he's here he's gonna be like that dude said Mass is he legit yeah yeah I've been a priest for almost 16 years now and and and you know doing the ministry of God and love it absolutely love it not easy not easy let me tell you let me tell you being a priest today is not easy you put one of these around your neck you stand out in a room the foreshore and a lot of people either think you're a perv or something else you know it's it's tough time to be a priest alright so what I want to tell you guys my brother's is a story of God's mercy shown to a man who was so jacked up messed up that I want to give you hope because I don't know you right almost all of you just raised your hands so I don't know you you don't know me but I I'm not Padre Pio I don't read soul so don't panic okay but I can tell you right now all of you are jacked up okay you got issues I don't need to read your soul to tell you this okay you've been born and you've lived in a world that is messed up everywhere it doesn't matter that in Boise Idaho okay you get internet here okay you're gonna see things you've been exposed to things the vast majority of you probably almost all of you have fallen from clicking the mouse and you know gone down a bad path in one way or another I know I'm not a robot not an angel I'm a dude just like you sure I'm a priest you call me father yeah but I'm still a dude I got wounds I got baggage I got issues even after my grandiose conversion you know it the ongoing conversion is real that's where it really gets real so I want to tell you this story which is about me but it's really not about me any of you could probably get up here and give a testimony to what God has done in your life and what he continues to do in your life I'm just privileged to do it as I travel around now so I want to give you a message of hope because I meet so many guys who after a conversion or after coming back or whatever they keep falling in the same sins or they they you know go in ways that they never even sin before after a conversion and so many guys can get so discouraged and so bummed out by that and I get that I understand that when I was ordained it wasn't poof you're perfect now not right not at all so keep that in mind okay cuz I know brothers it's not easy and I know that maybe some of you were dragged here by your dad or by you know your mom said I'm buying you this ticket you're going to this thing maybe you don't even wanna be here I wouldn't have been here years ago kidding me blowing a Saturday coming to something like this I would have never done something like that but it could have changed my life before I got into the things that I did alright so you see me as a Catholic priest now but when I was born I was born into a very secular family totally secular didn't believe in God didn't go to church didn't anything with any kind of religion they didn't dabble in Buddhism or they didn't go to Sedona Arizona and put a hot rock on their belly button to find nirvana either nothing okay they just were like whatever it doesn't all that stuff is just stupid so I wasn't baptized or any of that kind of stuff so when I grew up my parents had a horrible relationship they got a divorce my mother remarried she divorced him as well then I got a third father before I was nine years old I had three dad none of them were st. Joseph's okay these were men of the world my mom was a beautiful woman and you know they were men of the world so my third father adopted me and I I got his last name should remember what my last name is right think golf you know golf clubs Callaway so that's sweet that's a sweet deal that he adopted me because my biological father's last name and the last name that I had up until I was nine years old was crock yeah that's Brut ol okay thank God for adoption okay so so I did his last name praise God and that man was a Christian but not really in name only okay he was an Episcopalian but he never went to church he grew up in that faith because his parents you know were into it so when I got adopted by him got his name his parents my new grandparents and I got grandparents all over the place you know with three dads they said get that boy baptized that boys never been baptized it's shameful so they didn't want to do it but they finally did it because the grandparents kept nagging get him baptized getting baptized so they got me baptized in the Episcopalian Church because they thought that would impress them and all I remember from my baptism because I was 10 when it happened was some dude dressed in a robe poured water over my face weird and nobody was there how many relatives were invited to my baptism none okay how many pictures were taken to my baptism none why waste film on this all they wanted was the 8 by 11 certificate to show the grandparents now shut up zip it we got him baptized okay be happy that's it my experience of church was some dude pouring water over my face and then we with him went out to a picnic table outside and ate doughnuts that was church welcome to Christianity you know so that bet ain't gonna fly you know you can get donuts any time now anywhere so we never went to church we got the certificate graduated so to speak and so we went on with life so we moved we move at that time we were in Virginia Beach because my third father was a naval officer we went from Virginia Beach to Los Angeles and then we went down to San Diego which paradise for me as a little kid it was amazing I mean it was absolutely amazing to live there but I bit onto the culture big time and now you know girls were no longer icky and yucky they were like YUM you know it was like hello and in southern San Diego you got everything you know maybe you got up here in Idaho too but down there you got Latinas filipinas Brazilians and then you got everything and to a young boy I was just like cha-ching great hit the jackpot in San Diego absolutely loved it wanted to spend the rest of my life there and I started drinking and smoking weed and you know looking at mrs. January February March before the mouse came along right so I thought that was normal right I had three dads that's what they did my grandpa was married seven times actually eight cuz he remarried like number three again it's weird okay this is what dudes do you score right you just get babes you get chicks you get what you want so that's that's what I thought life was about so I learned at one point that we're gonna move again so we've been in Virginia Beach la San Diego I was expecting to hear Honolulu right we're gonna move to Hunter little ooh that's not what he said so we're gonna move to Japan I was like and I know in Japan do whatever I'm not going but I didn't have a choice at that point I was only 13 years old already smoking weed and drinking and you know very much lust in my heart and all of that so I had to go so when we get over there I went into rebellion v overdrive in Southern California I was like in first you know just getting started we go to Japan I freaked out I immediately stopped going to school I got involved with all the bad kids because everybody today so PC right everybody's like oh you know you can't you can't say you know it may look that way but who are you to determine I'm like whatever if you want a bad influence all you got to do is look for the dudes who look like they smoke weed because chances are they do okay seriously I mean if there's a girl that's half naked wearing dental floss she got daddy issues all you got to go screaming out for affirmation all I got to do it tell her she's beautiful I got what I want any rocket science but people are today oh you can't you will offend people get a brain right it's so obvious but today everybody scared I you know I don't want to hurt anybody cracks me up dude so back in the day it was it was a no-brainer so I'm like okay that dude looks like he smokes weed she looks like she's very much available so let's do this I'm in Japan so I did and it got bad it went from bad to worse so stop going to school I ended up running away from home start growing my hair long got my ear pierced of course dressed like a Martian you could get a contact high if you're stood close enough to me right I mean I was baked like perpetually baked and so I'm running with the Mafia the Yakuza the Yakuza in Japan if you know what that is not a lot of white people know what that is that's serious stuff okay and Japan they don't allow criminal activity but there's this one organization that's like feared by everyone when you're fully initiated you get one or both of the top of your pinkie cut off your back is tattooed and it's serious stuff here I was at this point 15 years old and running with the the Mafia over there was 16 years old running with the Mafia I was never fully initiated they used me as a drug mule so this little white boy with his long hair we're in a high-top converse and you know all the weird stuff I was in my backpack I would have so much drugs and so much yen and yen it always sounds like you have a million yen you know it's a lot of money but it's not a million dollars but I would have like the equivalent of ten thousand dollars on me at a time sixteen years old and if you were a white boy with long hair at that time in Japan in the mid 80s you were Bon Jovi man you could get any girl you wanted you go to the Budokan in Tokyo and just act like you're part of the band or the road crew or whatever it is you're you got anything you got Japanese dolls ready to throw themselves at your feet I'm not kidding in the mid 80s it was insane did I develop an ego you betcha because when I walked into a room I was taller than everybody I was different color everybody was forced to look at me like I was Godzilla you know I mean it was crazy I loved it so I'm Footloose fancy-free doing my own thing I caused an international scene my cause a major major problem between our governments was wanted and they were tracking me down the American military the Japanese government and the American government were searching for me what I didn't know during that whole process is that my mom now this is weird my mom is Italian my mother's maiden name is Lachie de Bianco okay hello like Catholic right how could you not be Catholic but she wasn't because when her grandparents came through Ellis Island they ditched two things but they never taught them Italian which is probably good because if I had learned that that would had you know with the ladies that would've probably a problem you know and Catholicism they never passed on Catholicism so my mom had a crisis in Japan she was on medication she was going to counseling from stress their third marriage and now they're fighting over me I'm wanted by the government right there they got my parents are at each other's throats up over me my mom is depressed suffered from anxiety all of that no pill is helping so there's a woman there who told my mother something now I don't know if they're here in Boise but chances are they are because they're everywhere do you know what my mom who talked to my mom in Japan a Catholic Filipino woman okay are they here in Boise yet oh yeah I see yeah they're everywhere because wherever there's one Filipino there's like a hundred more coming right they move in packs man they're serious and wherever Filipinos go they set up Catholicism like huge it's what they do they're the new Irish right really Ireland done jacked it up right now but now the Philippines one tenth of all Filipinos don't live in the Philippines they're in the world with jobs and bringing their families and every it's standard-issue when a woman is born in Manila she gets a novena you know those are some novena prey on people rosary packing people like unlike any other culture there's no other culture like like the Filipinos so this Filipino woman said to my mother now I'm going to imitate them not making fun of them if you're a Filipino salamat po to you and your culture I love you people okay but this is how it sounds to a white boy okay this woman said to my mother I knew what you got to do you got to talk to butter right there F's and they're peas and the DS get a little funky can't quite distinguish but that's how it sounds right oftentimes I Filipinos don't think I'm making fun of you because people do they kill you're so offensive I'm like dude really I was telling a joke Oh me right that's what it sounds like to a white boy okay so my mom was like resistant whatever I'm not going to talk to one of those guys the last thing I want to do but Filipino women don't give up they will nag you until you do what they tell you to do right it's a matriarchal culture the men are generally weak seriously except for the lunatic who's president right now that guy's a nut right seriously he wants to kill the okay that guy's just a loose cannon over there so she kept saying to my mother you got to talk to him talk to him he's got the answer to your problem right so my mom's like fine whatever so she goes and talks to a Catholic priest a military chaplain that priest changes my mom's life told her about hardcore in-your-face Catholicism not you know rubba-dub-dub kumbaya let's group hug small group session nonsense about hardcore what Saints died for to give us the eucharist confession all of these great wonders right so my mom she believed it Catholicism was probably dormant in her Italian DNA that priest was just like on you know and it was like kaboom it just went off I didn't know that I'm I'm chasing you know Japanese Ginza girls you know out in the streets of Tokyo and Yokohama doing my own thing I had no idea my mom had done this my mom had to leave the country so I didn't know that my mom was no longer living in the country Japan with my half-brother Matthew they had left I didn't know that my father he was still there I didn't know that either but they were searching for me so eventually I get apprehended thrown in jail I ran away from the the brig the military holding so basically they kicked me out of the country handcuffed to the plane to what's called a Mac flight it's a military cargo plane basically flew me to Honolulu Honolulu to LAX they took the handcuffs off the two MPs that escort I mean gave me into the custody of my father I'm not 18 I can't be prosecuted in the United States hadn't done anything on American soil kind of a tricky situation so I go and I see my mother in Pennsylvania where she relocated and Here I am this is what I look like at this time okay now I'm not a narcissist but I do carry a big picture of myself all around the world okay I'm working on my pride I just do it so you can see it if I had a wallet size you wouldn't be able to see it and on the screens you would but so this is this was what I look like at that time okay that was me yeah now my hair in this picture is short okay when I was going on 21 this has only look a lot older than didn't you would think that I am here when I was going on 21 my hair was all the way down to my belt all of it bangs and everything now there's nothing necessarily long with wrong with long hair Jesus had long hair right but it was a state of my soul in this picture I was dead I'm smiling but that's only because I'm fried okay I mean my soul was black it was dark so this is what I look like when I saw my mother in the airport after having not seen her for many many months I almost pushed my mother down on the floor in the airport pre 9/11 where anybody could come into the terminals and I told her to her face I hate your guts and I meant it I hated her she broke down she started crying like you can't imagine we get into the car and I'm like what's up what are we doing and they said you're going to a rehab like whatever you know what just give me away from you people drop me off wherever you want drop me off right so I go to my first rehab in Altoona Pennsylvania new beginnings at Ko forge you can look it up still there I go there for three months I didn't get better I got worse I don't know if you're aware of this but the success rates of modern secular rehabs are like 90 to 92 percent failures seriously I'm not making those statistics up those are factual why because you go in thinking you're a month abut a monkey and you want to become a sober monkey big whoop is that all you got so somebody's paying a ton of money or you're here by court order or whatever it may be and basically that's all that's all you're offering is to tell me just to make a good showing and be a sober monkey that's all yeah that's all you're dealing with here that's what my chip is gonna be all about really that's it okay it's good to be sober that's good that's good but if you still think you're a monkey who cares really so that was my first rehab so I ran away from it I got apprehended I you learned how to do more drugs in the rehab in Japan I wasn't exposed to like mushrooms and LSD I wasn't in the rehab so when I got out oh yeah baby I'm dropping a little deuce on my tongue they're going to dead shows the Grateful Dead got a tattoo of the Grateful Dead called Stu your face on my shoulder right here I lived in a Volkswagen bus I was perpetually fried I talked to trees man okay I lost my identity I was doing so much acid that I shouldn't have my mental faculties right now Mike my my physical appearance was so bad my eye sockets were so deep because I lived on Doritos and Mountain Dew you know my life was nuts going to all these dead shows the Grateful Dead you know people today don't even know what that is it was insane it was this close to being a religion and there I was doing this what I didn't know was during that time guess what my mom did my mom and my dad my stepdad Calloway and my half-brother all became Catholic yeah so one time I'm passing through town I'll crash at their place and they're like Donny come to church with us I'm like you're insane since when are you going to church she said we've become Catholic I was so stupid I didn't you know what Catholic was a Christian that's how ignorant I was so I'm like what you've become a what like Catholic come to church with us not like a church you're a Christian you're like yes and I'm like it oh my gosh I'm like you're educated people how could it be so stupid that's some outdated medieval institution that hate science hates women oppresses people with their stupid rules you become a and you're happy about this get out of my face right how could you be educated and become a Catholic let's think the most stupid of all religions that's what I thought because that's what I was taught oh let me tell you how the History Channel educated me okay they were more concerned about the aliens that built the pyramids right I mean seriously you got ancient astronaut theorists today on these TV shows trying to tell you about this stuff and these people look like they have just toked up a big fat one hairs up like this and these are scientists bro seriously your wife she shows it's comical junk this dude just fried up a big fat joint and now he went on he's talking about the you know how they built this stuff it cracks me up and yet they called the Christians crazy so but that's what I thought cuz that's how I was educated see I had heard about Jesus all my life who hasn't heard about Jesus but how real was Jesus to me Jesus was a fairytale man see when I grew up I was I was I was basically as a little child kind of like educated by cartoons every Saturday and Sunday morning I watched things that weren't true about a coyote who died like so many times it was insane from an anvil on his head you know but he always came back you know and all of that but you know that junk ain't real right and then you find out that Santa ain't real he ain't fat dude coming down to chimney eating your cookies and drinking your milk there's no Tooth Fairy putting a dollar under your pillow when you put the tooth under it all that kind of stuff you've learned that ain't real it's kind of a bummer when you figure that out but you move on so I'm looking at TV growing up and I'm hearing about this Jesus do between Scooby Doo and Popeye there's this preacher man on TV you know with holding a book and glory glory hallelujah hallelujah in the name of Jesus you know give me give me one eight hundred give me all your money so I can pay for my wife's makeup that's what I saw growing up that was Christianity me these people need help they need serious medication because they are saying that there's a dude who rose from the dead who walks on water and lives in the heavens right what that's insane I mean you need to get a real job bro you're just hard up and you're trying to act like every life is a cartoon steel still that that's not true so I stayed as far away from Christian as I could so when my mom told me they became one I'm like I'm out of here you people are nuts I couldn't you stay on her house made me sick that they had religious stuff all over the house so I left I ended up throwing in Jo in Louisiana I got out I don't go to my court date now I'm wanted by the police I go and find Papa Croc remember my biological father he's old hillbilly in West Virginia and he's kind of an outlaw and so my mom always told me stay away from that man he's bad news so I was like well now's a good time to get reacquainted because I'm running from the police and he's got a lot of land you know in West Virginia you can buy a mountain for what people pay on the West Coast for property it's crazy not a lot of people moving to West Virginia so I go and find my hillbilly father and he's as real as if you think you know redneck you don't know redneck my friend you go to the backwoods of West Virginia I think they speak English okay seriously these are my people so I can say this it's the real deal my friends okay so I mean my by go father we don't get along at all initially I found out I have a new stepmother I didn't know existed a half brother and a half sister I'm walking through his fields shucking corn trying to smoke it roll it up in my little bugle papers trying to get high cuz my running low on supplies we don't get along he doesn't want me in his house and rightly so so he lets me live on his land until my supplies run out I go back to my mother's house after that now guess what she's not just going to church on Sundays like before she's going everyday my mom is a lunatic she's going to church every day and role my brother in a school a Catholic school so in my mind he's getting whipped across the face by nuns educated to hate science and that's what I thought so I'm like you guys I cannot believe that this has happened to my family okay you joined a cult okay it's a cult is what it is so I left I get busted again thrown in jail I go to another rehab this one is a psychiatric unit in Philadelphia called Charton charter Fairmont Institute still there I'm locked up for three months I can't run away from this one when I get a little rowdy with the you know counselors when I don't cooperate with the program and drink my Dixie cup of pills they throw me in a padded room where I beat the walls to my knuckles bleed really for three months so when I get out I've wasted a lot of time so I started initially went to my meeting to you know hi my name is dawn I'm or whatever but you can tell who's there to fake it when a little cutie pie says hi my name is Lisa I'm Mike what's up Lisa you know you can go there and hook up if you want to so that's what I did so I went down the same thing and then I crashed I've been to a lot of rock-bottom experiences but this was the ultimate I was thinking about taking my life a lot of my friends did that they're not here anymore they gone well they took so much acid they're gone or maybe they're still here but they're dancing with the Bears man they're they're mentally gone not here like my uncle in a halfway house in Cleveland he doesn't know his nose from his toe he just drools all over his chin all day he doesn't know who we are because he sprinkled some coke on a joint and fried himself gone so I'm thinking how can I do it should I just take so much acid that I just have gone should I take my own life with the pistol that's in the floorboard below I found it one day in the house and I do that so as I'm thinking about this I'm bored I'm not used to quiet right I'm not I'm not used to being in a silent environment so I'm thinking about how to take my life I panic I go out into the hallway at my parents house where I was at at the time passing through and I pulled out a book from their bookshelf that I thought was the National Geographic but it wasn't it said something really weird really weird you know what I said I wasn't even sure myself it said the Queen of Peace visits Maju Gigi G chord G G G gorgeous gourd is that so I thought right now don't freak on me oh he's mentioned in the unmentionable word he's a heretic don't blame me for what happened to me historically I'm just telling you what happened I'm not the Pope authenticating these things okay so I pull this thing out and I'm like okay what I see some baboo good-looking lady a barefoot on a Rocky Mountain I'm like get some shoes grandma you know I don't know what this thing is all about so I take it into the room that was there for me but it wasn't even a bedroom it had a loveseat because I was hardly ever there so I look at it I'm like what is this so I start to read it and it's about some beautiful woman who smells like roses what the clap of thunder comes from someplace in the sky and she makes these little children cry I'm like what what is going on here right but I'm a dude see God knew what to do I'm a dude man I'm convinced that Jesus could have appeared to me in that room that night and I would have shooed away the phantasm go away they told me this would happen I'm having a bad psychological moment it's a delusional thing happening but if you start talking about a beautiful woman who smells like roses and makes little children cry and comes in a clap of thunder interesting who is this I've never heard of this one right what culture is she from hmm let's check this out see god knows what to do he baited me with beauty I didn't know what he was doing but he sure did I would read years later a quote from st. Catherine of Siena all it's a great quote verbatim she says Mary is the bait that God uses to capture the hearts of men especially in an age of pornography where almost all of you have fallen because of it because we're attracted to beauty it's awesome right so there I was I'm like what is this so I'm starting to read the book I don't get it it's super Catholic the lingo but that woman is there and I'm just like what okay where's the image does anybody get a Polaroid you know what she look like there's a statue but I'm not a I know she's not a statue right so I'm like what the heck I'm like so I keep reading and I'm telling you that book was just convicting me a stuffed man of this Jesus cuz I you know I wasn't into Jesus but as the beautiful woman starts talking about him okay I read another page and I kept going and the way that she allegedly is slain geez I've never heard before never so I was like okay this isn't I read that whole book in one night the whole thing closed it I didn't go to sleep my mom comes downstairs tries to it's a duplex and I'm long-haired you know like this and and ice try to say to her a need because in the book that woman said if you want to have peace you have to go to a Catholic priests and confess your sins I'm like alright so my mom comes down I'm like mom I got a talk oh I couldn't say it man to express a need to my mother and a churchy one like the ultimate death so I'm like mom I got a oh dude but I had to do it so I said it the third time mom I gotta talk to a Catholic priest we joke about this to this day me and my mom she was above me about four or five steps she looked at me when she heard me say that and she goes yeah right I was like mom I got the book I was like what the heck is this what you and dad are into mom what the heck is going on here and she was like she didn't say I think she ran right to the phone punched in seven digits and I I heard a conversation my mother had with some dude that went like this yes Father yes I know it's early father this is Lucchino I need to bring no father no no no father please please father listen to me but he priests are human they got to get up and put their pants on have a cup of coffee and you know go to the bathroom like everybody else right but she's one sit like now like strike while the iron's hot father right he's asking but that didn't work so she tried another priest he's trying to set it up for later in the morning so she's like so I said mom I there's one of those things see they lived on Norfolk Naval Air Station at the time and the main gate on the left there was this God thing I knew it was there because every time I came through that gate blasted on my mind I would walk in the the street to avoid it I hated Church I hated that stuff but I knew it was there so I said mom isn't there one of those she said yes Donny run run Donny right oh I did I threw the book down the hallway with my tie-dyed craziness you know on I ran to that place totally out of breath could my lung capacity was nil I get there but I'm not going out do church okay because there's traffic this can't be public there's another building that says chaplains office so I go in there now I'm socially raw I have no interpersonal ability to communicate well at that time so I go into this building it's like a little after 6 o'clock in the morning I yell down the corridor Catholic priest I freaked that joint out long hair what am I even doing on a military installation died what part of the fence that I jumped right I'm not military so heads are popping out of cubicles and they're like oh do you want to talk to him I don't I don't know nobody has the courage to approach the long-haired freak screaming for a Catholic priest so finally one dude in the white navy uniform comes over with a little Dixie cup of coffee and goes kind of help you I'm like yeah dude I need a priest man like bad man so he's like okay hold on he go back with some other dude dressed in white with a Dixie cup of coffee now I don't know what a Catholic priest is supposed to look like I don't but in my mind for some reason I'm thinking Moses you know I mean I don't know what I don't know so cuz you know it's seen maybe some movies in the past where they wore like a robe and many of them had a long beard or something I don't know what this dude's supposed to look like but I didn't think he would look like that so he says I'm father John whatever dude you a Catholic priest man you do God stuff and he's like yeah and I'm like great help me okay he goes hold on don't make a scene go let's go talk so we go to his little cubicle and that man had fear and his face I scared him he pulled his chair like halfway out into the hallway okay seriously cuz he didn't know what was going on so I can't even look that man in the face at this point I put my eyes on the floor and I start to tell him filthy disgusting perverse sick foul things I'm guessing that their sins so I'm so embarrassed I can't even look that man in the face so he stops and he goes ho ho wait a minute wait a minute you'd go into confession I'm like yeah yeah confession so he goes okay we got to do this right he goes in the name of the Father and I'm like whoa whoa whoa what are you doing and he goes well confession I go yeah confession he goes so when's the last time you went to confession dude I don't know I don't know and he goes well you're a Catholic right I'm like oh heck no heck no dude no wait so he got a little mad and he's like well you have to be a Catholic to do this I'm like I don't know I said dude that woman in the book she said that if you want peace you got to go get one of you dudes and confess your sins and and and he's like what woman I'm like I don't know dude but she said she's a mother of Jesus you ever heard of that bro I'm like see fairytales don't have mothers Scooby Doo didn't have a mom okay pop I did not have a mother that you don't cartoons don't have mothers so Jesus to me never once in between cartoons did the preacher man ever talk about the mother of Jesus and never heard about this the figurines in the yard once a year that was fairy tale you know that well that was not true that was a legend that was a myth that was fables for little kids like a fat grandma making cookies it lives in a shoe somewhere here I mean it's not real well you everybody celebrates it once a year cuz you get a day off of work it's real that day right but then never he puts the stuff back in the closet in the garage and gets home with reality that life sucks that's basically how I lived all sudden I'm like this dude has a mom never heard of this so he evidently knew of her he's like yes and I'm like dude she smells like roses bro and he's like oh you know I didn't know that people trip out on these things you know that he wasn't necessarily into it so I'm like all right dude so what what gives and he's like look I got a busy day I got to go celebrate mass I don't know what that dude is saying to me I'm not a Catholic so he's like I got to go celebrate Mass do you understand and I'm like dude I don't understand he goes you don't even know what that is I'm like no see to me celebrate Mass you're gonna go rejoice in neutrons and protons you're gonna celebrate atoms and gravity we're gonna celebrate Mass man yeah I don't know he's talking about so he goes okay look do you know where the church is I said yeah I saw it he goes go over there I'll be in after we're done let's meet back here and we'll talk so as I start to leave he goes wait wait hold on because do me a favor would you um when you go in sit in the back okay all right I got you I understand I wasn't pretty so I go over there I wait for a break in traffic I go in the door slams behind me like a shotgun I'm thinking I'm dead you know the divine guillotine I'm post I can't go into God's house I don't belong in here so I get in the door slams I turn around I look guess who's in the church it wasn't anywhere near as big as this maybe as long but not as narrow as this guess who's right in the first pew man 5 Filipino women like SEAL Team 5 right I'm dead I know what one took down my whole family right these people don't play games so you couldn't get me to the back fast enough I went to the back I'm like oh my gosh and I made sure there was nobody else in there you know especially pretty girls I was like oh my gosh is there was nobody else in there but them and then all of a sudden the leader cuz there's always a leader you know who's self-appointed who tells everybody else what to do she pulls out a necklace from her purse and she starts this incantation to some mystical boat hanging from the ceiling because it's a naval chapel and she starts this this is what I heard this is what white boy in the back heard no offense to Filipinos hey I made a photograph man no idea like almost unintelligible gibberish no idea what this but whatever she did the other for reciprocated something that sounded like holy metaphor like I'm in no idea what they were saying and they were moving like I mean they were flying like sold to the highest bidder it was like crazy speed I can't I'm like I don't know what is going on but this is totally weird and she had fired up lit two candles on like something I don't know what she did but in my mind I'm thinking oh these women are up in here doing a seance man this is like a coven or something I'm like and I'm thinking oh we're about to see it go down because they don't know that that priest is coming in and he's probably gonna come in he's gonna kick some butt right when he comes in here if he finds out what they're doing in here this ain't kosher man this ain't cool so they keep this thing going then one of the women bold Filipino women don't mess with these people she turns around to me long-haired freak in the back she holds up her necklace she jingles it at me and she goes young man young man would you like to play the next decade please the next decade I have no idea what this woman is trying to communicate with me or what she's trying to tell me I have no she's putting a necklace in my face asking me to pray for 10 years okay that's what decade means right yeah that's all I think it means I got no other definition for this so she tries to clarify because I'm like a deer in headlights she goes it's the second sorrowful mystery second thought of for me study I'm thinking I didn't say anything I'm like cuz you're yeah I'm thinking it's gonna we're gonna see some action when the priest comes in so they keep doing this thing for what seemed like forever and then the dude comes in now he's not in a white uniform he's in a robe with the flower on the front okay so he comes in he starts doing weird stuff on his face and this is what I heard okay thank God this microphone works because a mini Catholic churches this is what people hear in the name very seriously it's Charlie Brown and that's all I heard the Lord you know just weird stuff and I'm like what is going on here man so he goes over he reads from some book which seemed to take forever and then they get down on their knees for some reason he goes over to some table I didn't know it was an altar and he starts doing stuff and there's a mic there that worked he said some things to put up his arms like it's gonna take flight or something I don't know what he's doing and then he picked up a little white thing I didn't know what it was and he bends over there on their knees and he says take this all of you and eat of it this is my body yeah I'm in the back thinking get some help brother cuz you a lunatic Jack that's crazy talk what and then he was like proud of it cuz he was like no right that man just told them I guess that that's his body and they gotta eat it really that's what the man said I heard it and then he puts down well actually he was still there and then this happened okay I wish I had time to describe to you the intensity of what I experienced I haven't had the sense I'm not a mystic time stopped he stood there guess what happened I heard a voice really and it wasn't me having a flashback I feel from my acid days it was a voice a real voice and the voice said to me worship you know what happened next I knew like that what that man had in his hands I didn't know terminology I don't wouldn't have known Blessed Sacrament Eucharist no clueless but I knew he had God that's all I knew God is it there he put down God he picked up a sweet-looking cup I don't know it was a chalice you know and he said take this all of you and drink from it this is my blood and he held it up the women they're all into it guess what happened again I heard a voice worship injected with knowledge I knew what that man had was God I didn't understand it but I knew he had him he put down the cup and then he said some other things and then I saw this blew me away that do got up came down they got up and they met like right there and one by one I saw that dude hold up a little white circle God and I heard him say to each one of them the body of Christ the voice was right he didn't say my body my body my body he said the body of Christ and I saw that man put God inside them I saw it and then he came up and he got the chalice right and he came down and he said what the blood of Christ and they drank it do you know what was happening to me at like smock speed I was getting crazy knowledge that I thought I was gonna explode I thought my being was just gonna blow up I wasn't hearing voices but I was knowing I was and I was so like it was so aware to me of where I was I was in a church yeah yeah for sure for sure for sure but see this was more than that see cuz I had done exactly what those women were doing but in a different way for so many years I had put something on my tongue striving for meaning and purpose Jerry take me there play that note play that song so we can get to the other side where love never fades away I wanted it I wanted it and I drank the chalice of the world so many times and all of a sudden I was getting knowledge that everything I've ever wanted and been looking for is right here a consumable God more than just poking up a joint and let you know eating a mushroom or being with the most beautiful girl you can imagine of a different culture there was more the maker of all this and I love woods man you guys got beautiful woods up here I love woods I'm all about the outdoors I love that stuff I hate an office I hate that stuff with a passion put me out in the woods put me on a beach I love this I live for that stuff and if there's a god that means he's got to be the maker of it and of the cosmos and everything that is amazing that my masculine soul desires and it's here this is the last place I ever thought I would find it I thought this was some stupid idiotic organization that was against science that'll press people by their stupid rules boy was I wrong see I realized I was in a church but more than that I was in God's rehab really I've been to two rehabs already and I knew what I was seeing this was the medicine this was to get the poison out this was the answer this is the stuff that I was never told in rehab this is the stuff that I was never taught in high school school before I dropped out of school because they would lose their job right they would lose their job so I started to have other things happen to me in my mind and in my heart like behind me I looked behind me and I saw this curtain and above it was a sign that said confessional I didn't hear a voice but knowledge boom I knew what it was Jimmy times I've been to a hospital oh my gosh pray for me because I'm about due for another one I'm one of these poor souls that gets a kidney stone about every two to three years and it makes me want to die it's the most painful thing you could possibly imagine I a grown man who loved to hunt and fish and put mud on my face I'm on the floor begging for death like a baby in a fetal position crying it sucks kidney stones oh my gosh if you don't know if you've never had one you have no idea what they do to a grown man I crawl into emergency rooms begging for death tell me now I knew where I was at see every time I've been to a hospital and the doctors have saved my life from these kidney stones and so many other things I've broken this broken that broken my skull Surfer gigantic waves in Baja Mexico I go behind a curtain where the doctor the physician saves my life I knew what that was somehow God does something behind that curtain that brings people back who were on the point of death I knew it wasn't taught it I knew it I went to that priests office afterwards and I freaked that dude out I told him I heard a voice and he's like I'm like okay I understand but dude I'm serious man I'm trippin bro I don't know what to think I don't know what's going on here but and he's like okay well what do you want me to do and I'm like dude I want to become a Catholic you know what he said to me god bless him no I did not expect that I'm thinking he's gonna be like the dudes on TV yay saved his soul today glory glory hallelujah right got one that's not what he did he said whoa no no no what do you think he just signed something and I'm like yeah that's how I've grown up I don't wait you kidding me I don't need anybody cooking over an oven for me anymore I go to this little magic box I put in like three minutes I got dinner baby all right I don't if I wanted to call somebody Japan a puncheon 11 digits Moshi Moshi what's up homie right I don't we don't wait I didn't grow up in a culture of waiting I want it now he said it would take six to nine months had to go to these weekly classes and I'm like are you serious are you are you serious right now and he's like yeah that's how it works I'm like dude I could royally Jack this thing up with one phone call yeah I can't that's a long time he's like well that's how it works I mean I can't change the rules and it was the Archdiocese in military so I'm like dude you know what man sign me up dude sign me up for your little program whatever so he goes okay this is moving really fast he goes I'm gonna put your name down but we got a lot of talking to I'm like fine deed whatever I got nothing else to do you know so he goes look go home I'm gonna give you some stuff he took a crucifix off his wall I still have it to this day it hangs in my room in Steubenville a big painting of Jesus and a big portrait of his grandpa kind of random I get the Jesus thing but whatever it's time for me to shut up and listen to some authority I guess so I take some dude with white with a little white hat on look like it eating too many cookies little grandpa looking fella right so I take it back to my mom's house and I throw away everything in the room except a few essential clothing items not that there was much there but I did have a lot of resin scrapers under the floorboards and Miss January February March hidden there you know for later you know so I mean I chucked it all I chucked it all my mom testifies this I got black hefty bags under the kitchen sink and I threw away everything in the room everything all my dead tapes and cassettes you know all of it that was not me doing this and I hung up Jesus Jesus and Grandpa okay now who was grandpa it was John Paul too but I wasn't up on these things I don't know who the pudgy little fellow is wearing white you know what the weird hat on I don't know who he is right so but he seemed to be like into Jesus so I put him up so I'm like all right that dude said that I could come back the next day and talk to him so I'm like all right what do i do how do i what do I do now I could get one phone call from Lisa I ain't strong man thank God the phone didn't ring so I didn't know what to do I got down on my knees like there's little kids in the book and I did the you know rubba-dub-dub Shazam poof where are you you know scratch-and-sniff method of prayer I had no idea I'm about to talk to somebody that I can't see either I just got religion or I to have become a lunatic peekaboo where are you how does this work if you're God you're everywhere but everybody seems to close their eyes or look up I don't know so I'm like dude I don't know man I'm thinking that you're like super real and stopped hounded me just now in that church I'm tripping man I don't know what to think I had put up the Sacred Heart painting right above the dresser where I used to have a big image of Bob Marley toking up a big old spliff right so I'm looking at this and I'm like all right dude you're real okay I'm really thinking that you're real but I know you're not a painting not stupid but you're God so so you you know everything because I did a lot of twisted stuff man most of which I would never tell you because it's confessional thank God for confession but foul sick perverse twisted stuff man and I heard a lot of people I used to push down old ladies in the streets of Tokyo and rip them off with their purses I did I did so many harmful things to so many people and I'm looking at this and I'm like why are you not looking at me like I'm gonna shoot you you little filthy perv yeah I'm God I know who you are you suck that's what I expected and that's what I deserved but you know what the image was it was a heart on fire and a gesture a blessing and the eyes oh my gosh the eyes that were so penetrating I lost it I started to cry like a human being can't cry I had fountains of liquid flowing off my face down onto my shirt I didn't know the body contains that much fluid cried my eyes out you know what it turned into divine detox you don't have to come to God as a hero with your merit badges and all your things you've done I got on my knees and I surrendered either came like a fire hydrant into my soul man like unbelievable all he wanted me was that much humility that had to be poetic in my prayer basically I said to him I suck and I need you cuz I'm messed up man and I'm about I'm thinking about taking my life my hand I don't know what else I I got nothing and he came and he came so strong into into my soul I got up from that experience I tucked into the love seat cuz there wasn't a bad in there and I was just gonna go to sleep man and then guess what happened guess who came in the room Satan seriously I didn't believe in that junk Lucifer kidding me we entertain ourselves today with shows called Lucifer seriously we think it's fun we dressed our kids up like goblins and demons and witches and send them to neighbors to get candy good times right seriously we don't so many people don't buy into this anymore I didn't with the pitchfork and a little tail thing doing crazy right all of a sudden there was a creature manifesting itself in the room and wanted to take me seriously I wasn't a Satanist bro I never went to some pentagram coven and slashed a chicken's throat and sprinkle blood on myself I never did anything like that did I die on a Ouija boards and things like I did I did but I didn't consider myself a Satanist even that stuff you know but didn't matter if you believe in it you can't see the wind but you'd be a fool to deny it's not there all of a sudden Satan came back to take what he thought was his own me and what could I do could I take a punch at the devil could this dinky little arm take a swing at Lucifer and do some damage no no it's not gonna do anything I was terrified I was absolutely terrified of the power of this creature do you know what I did the only thing I could do in my soul I gathered up a cry and I just threw it into heaven from my soul I screamed out Mary because I was terrified you would happen next Satan was annihilated I mean totally obliterated gone from the room and the most amazing piece came over me and then I heard another voice now I'm not a mystic I don't receive revelations it was a gift way back then I heard a woman's voice the most pure pristine female voice you can imagine like liquid love trickling over my soul the voice said to me Donnie I'm so happy nobody calls me Donnie in life but my mom nobody if another dude calls me Donnie I'm like yo dude yeah that's the diminutive of my you don't get cute with me and call me Donnie especially if you're a dude that ain't right yeah only my mom calls me Donnie but it ain't my mom or is it is it a mother that I've never known yeah it is I knew who it was it was the mother of Jesus Christ and by calling me that she's saying she's my mother I went to sleep that night like a little baby tucked up against his mother's breast not even Satan could touch me why cuz I was in the arms of Mary really I went the next day and told that priest what happened freaked that dude out again I enrolled in the classes these RCIA classes cuz my baptism was valid from when I was baptized at 10 years old Episcopalian Church I started to go to church once a week that was not that was nothing are you kidding me I was going every day I was so in love with Jesus Christ that I would be a church in the morning before the Filipinos that is radical behavior for a white boy okay when you're in love you do crazy things right remember when you were in love and you said no you hang up no you hang up no you hang up I couldn't hang out man I would put my face on the floor in front of the tabernacle cuz I knew he was there people would come up thinking I had a seizure they'd be like hey are you okay I'm like it's awesome right this is God man I wasn't receiving Communion at Mass cuz I knew I couldn't but I would be there constantly I learned that thing called Stations of the Cross nobody told me you did it once I was like Nascar I would just keep laughing that puppy man wearing myself out right then I take a nap in the Pew I freak some people out I cut my hair obviously I got normal human being clothes my whole life radically changed I said all my language change I got a job everything changed and you know I didn't know what to do with my life I was like Lord you've given me everything back what do you want me to do do you want me to marry one of these Filipinos I'll give you some Catholic babies right I'll crank out we'll make a little Manila over here you know what do you want me to do I didn't know and God bless he's Filipino women cuz the one the leader became such a good friend of mine Vai was her name she said to me one day now I didn't tell everybody my whole life story here you know like I'm telling you now I kept a lot of this you know hidden and not public so she says to me one day she goes you know you should become a father you should become a priest the young people need a priest like you and I'm like I thank you by thank you but you know I mean you do know that I'm not Catholic and she goes oh you're not I think you come every morning you're leading the prayers you're doing and I'm like bye but you see me not going to communion she was like oh I was wondering about that you know so I'm like well I'm going those classes with father but I'm gonna be Catholic soon but I don't know if I if I could ever do something like that god bless her you know what she said to me next hilarious Filipino women she goes also if you don't become a father I have a beautiful daughter right oh no I've been down that road many times okay I'm good I'm good I just need to focus so I kept praying every time I saw that priests say Mass or he went behind that curtain I was so drawn to it but I thought there's no way that this could ever happen so eventually I did send some postcards away to some religious communities and this one that promotes Divine Mercy right contacted me and they said come for a visit so I went and it was amazing and they were reluctant and rightly so you know I I had to go to a psychologist I had to get counseling I had to you know it was good I needed it I needed it and I they accepted me and my formation was long like a Jesuit formation I know there's some Jesuits in the area right super long formation I had but it was good I needed to mature initially I was so on fire with Jesus I don't know how to evangelize I just wanted to you know smash the Catechism down their throat and said eat it you'll like it okay it'll set you free you little perv right yes that was my method it wasn't very effective initially I scared some people I had to learn and I did hopefully I've gotten better I'm still a little aggressive but that's just my nature so so that's how it all went down why because I'm special and God loves me more than he loves you know brothers I had my honeymoon with God it was sugar sweet delicious but like any honeymoon it lasts a week or two if you got money right and then it's on with the reality the marriage sacrifice what does Fulton sheen say about marriage there are three rings the engagement ring the wedding ring and the sofa ring yeah you know what I'm talking about okay see this is my wedding ring right here you wear it on your finger I wear it around my throat okay the whole world knows what I stand for and many of them don't like it and it's not easy to be a priest today that's why you need to be praying for your priests so brothers have hope no matter what you've gone through maybe you've had a grandiose conversion back at some conference and then after that you fell into sins you thought you'd done away with or maybe you're you were brought here today dragged here by your dad or your mom you said you I'm not gonna give you this unless you go to this conference guys I don't know you and you don't know me but I can tell you this with absolute conviction 100% certitude God is panting for you he wants you all of you all of you all of you all your brokenness in Jack Nova and your perverseness and the filthy disgusting things that you've done cuz you've done them guys you've done him I did and many times today I still Jack it up brothers I don't know what I would do without confession what would I do where could I go if I can't go to this sacrament I'm dead thank God for that sacrament brothers take advantage of it know how much our Lord loves you how much you have in the Catholic Church it's free the best counseling psychotherapy known to man is free and you could go every day that's how much God loves you you're more than a monkey brothers you're a son you were born for this you were made for this there's more to life than maybe you think or the world is telling you you have to strive to live a holy life it's worth striving for that's what we're here for right now brothers you are under attack your manhood your wife your children your country is under attack and what are you gonna do about it you're gonna let it happen are you just gonna let all these crazy people in the politics sometimes even in the church know you've got to stand up for what's right for the good the true and the boo and be willing to die for it because it's worth dying for you got to prove your manhood and me and my brother priests are in it with you many of us we can wounded very weak and wounded you've seen our faults dragged through the media and our brokenness and woundedness we need you you need us let's do this together brothers let strive to become Saints with our lady that's what life is all about and my talk this afternoon I'm gonna tell you about one of the greatest weapons that heaven has ever given to us a sword that will help you to slay dragons the rosary the Holy Rosary so stick around brothers because I'm gonna rock your soul with the talk on the rosary this afternoon god bless your brothers thank you so much for listening to me [Music]

Channel: Salt & Light Radio

Views: 152,048

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Id: VqgTMPj6Zhc

Length: 57min 47sec (3467 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 04 2019