"First Day of School" | Jo Koy : Lights Out

I'm a hoe my son till he's 20 I don't give a [ __ ] we're gonna be at the mall my friends were like dad this is ridiculous Griffin Berk side take a lot of video capture every moment it's called evidence everything that makes your son cry or be sad get it on tape use it against oh the worst day of my son's life was his first day of school he didn't want to go to school kept crying till three o'clock in the morning crying oh my [Music] Oh Joe go to sleep it's 3 o'clock in the morning gonna bet baby you're gonna have fun in school you have to learn things in school you get to be new friends in school you get to play with your new friends at recess you can have fun baby daddy's gonna take you to school so why are you scared I'm gonna be there for you and then I was like oh [ __ ] I gotta get the camera I got to get all this crying on tape that way when he gets older and starts talking [ __ ] I got that tape because you're not a little boys are when they're 16 they talk [ __ ] to their dad it's like dad why are you a dick all the time I'll go really that bought the tape it what about that [ __ ] but that didn't happen I brought him to his first day of school my son grew up just like that right before my eyes turn into a little man teacher said his name he walked right past me I tried to kiss him he did that matrix [ __ ] on me standing in a single-file line like this holding his backpack and these two little boys that obviously went to preschool together they're in the same class they run up behind my son just gonna be fine really happy to go my son does even know these kids but he keeps looking at trying to engage in some type of conversation like yeah this is gonna be fine look at my tent I'm across the auditorium I'm recording everything and he sees me so I'm out to him I go my son goes like this what a dick right and then the teacher goes are we're gonna take you kids to class even if a kid starts crying don't come with us cuz we're trying to make that bond parents day in the auditorium I go alright now my son's gonna cry reality check daddy's got a lead so I run up to my son I'm trying to squeeze one tear on this [ __ ] I'm saying mean [ __ ] to like daddy's gotta go it's a lot of scary people here my son goes like this so what daddy just go get out of here and I was like this okay you know you don't have to say so Wow I just want you to know I made you a sandwich and I put go-gurt in your backpack I leaned in to kiss him like this and he put his little baby hand on my face just like that so cute and he goes move he [ __ ] pushed my face and walked out that door with those two boys he just met in live and now they think he's King [ __ ] cuz he just bitch-slapped his dad so I stopped him you're not gonna Punk me I don't give a [ __ ] if you're five I was like joke turn around daddy's got talk to you turn around he's like what you want daddy I with my friends his one friends like you okay Joe well you want daddy I'll go baby I just want you to know one thing before you go to class okay I just want you to know that I uh I could have pulled out hey thanks for watching you guys and there's more videos just like it you know what all you have to do is subscribe just go subscribe just click this button right here I made it so easy you lazy [ __ ] take the mouse and drag it over here and click the [ __ ] icon that's it and bam more videos but there's so many so many just run yes as many as you want I think you take all the videos put them together and watch the whole game special just go to Jo koy comm I love you bye I'm gonna go I'm gonna go check out oh my god y'all say you're da e I could have pulled out judge just said jobs they call it Ruby excuse me person that does not drive my car do you know where my keys are

Channel: Jo Koy

Views: 5,623,213

Rating: 4.9476328 out of 5

Keywords: Jo Koy, Lights Out, Comedy, Funny, First Day of School, JoKoy, Lil Jo, Ting Ting, Stand-Up, Jo Koy : Lights Out

Id: --cyxkyZW-c

Length: 5min 59sec (359 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 25 2015