Fifty Shades Darker Script Doctor

so Wow I know this is an unpopular opinion but I didn't think that fifty shades darker was a very good movie but everyone keeps hating on this movie and it's not fair so instead I want to help it I'm gonna fix it so today I'm going to point out just like the really small really tiny issues to small places they can make changes to make it a much better movie so here we go number one the lead actor the whole entire movie gives one of the worst performances imaginable and is impossible to relate to or even like in any way I'm not talking about Anastasia like she can clearly act even though she's obviously trying much less for this movie I mean she didn't write this stupid thing I'm talking about how Christian Grey is the worst that he could possibly be this is already like a bizarre creepy super unlikable character and then on top of that apparently the casting agent for just like he's got a six-pack he's fine am I being unfair can this actor act in other things I know he was in once upon a time as a minor role who had to like look hot and then just die right away maybe he was really good as that something about his fake American accent makes him sound even more unnatural like he's trying to make his voice sound deeper or something so I know this is a bold move in a sequel but honestly I think we just need to recast the role we're going to want someone who's a lot more loveable and charismatic so I'm thinking Henry Cavill the critically acclaimed actor from Batman V Superman I think he could inject a lot more warmth and humor into this role to Anastasia has no reason to love Christian I don't think there's anyone on the planet that comes with as much baggage as Christian Grey he has night terrors about his depressing childhood he not only apparently pays private detectives to stalk his girlfriends but he also has them stalk girls he's potentially thinking about dating and then he keeps creepy blackmail folders on them forever he expects Anastasia to be friendly with this creepy old woman who molested him when he was 15 he has crazy exes who want to kill you he likes to beat up women who look like his dead mother because he's angry with her for dying in front of them also I don't know if this is because of the rating constraints of the movie but it kind of seems like he likes to have sex with women and his sex dungeon and he likes to beat up women in his sex dungeon and these two acts are totally divorced from each other call me crazy but I think this actually makes it a lot creepier like did any of you see the first movie and it's like a Spanx Anastacia or he beats her with a cane and then he's like okay I'm done bye like what it reminds me of this classic Lifetime movie called cyber seduction that's about the dangers of internet pornography there's like this young impressionable teenager and it gets addicted to internet porn and it's like he fails all his classes and I think he quits his sports team and I'm pretty sure it ends with him like drowning his swimming pool anyway there's a scene where his concerned mom catches him she like she walks in his doorway and she sees that he's looking at Internet pornography he's just kind of watching it like like if I was his mom I would be worried too that's very creepy also Christian clearly doesn't have a three-dimensional life outside of Anastasia it's like his relationship with her is his hobby and it's his only one you just like devote all of his time through his relationship with her in his BDSM obsession and in rare moments where she is left to his own devices he's either working on his nondescript billionaire job or doing something that Anastasia can still find attractive like brooding over his piano or exercising his abs so my solution is to just give Christian a slightly more substantial personality and for this I think he needs a real hobby like a mundane non sexy one I think we should make him really like trained just cute little model trains that he paints himself here's the sex dungeon room and right next door that's the trainer their shelves lining all the walls with all the different trains that he likes to display then of course in the center there's a large table with like a little diorama and a working train that's going around it Shin loves to assemble his little buildings and arrange his tiny little people in this tiny train town plus since he's a billionaire he could actually buy a real train we're only two movies in and he's already taken Anastasia on a romantic plane ride boat ride and helicopter ride so like where's our romantic train ride hmm three everybody needs everything it seems like every time Christian's kink comes up they're like I need Anastasia I need this but I need you more I can't give you what you need to Christian I think this would be a better film if Christian was just more honest about his needs like instead he would just be like Anastasia I want my BDSM life I want it because I like it I guess it sounds a little whinier when he says it that way doesn't it like almost like he's being unreasonable number for Anastasia doesn't like when Christian buys her things first I think that's dumb Christian's only appealing trait is that he's wealthy which is pretty bad but at least if Anastasia liked that about Christian we would have a thing for her to like about Christian it's always bothered me about Twilight too like they establish that Bella is very practical doesn't like extravagant thing she's kind of a tomboy and then they're together for years and Edward buys her this wedding ring and it's just like this big gaudy thing it's just covered with diamonds fellas like oh my goodness you know how I feel about lots of diamond Edwards like as though you'd like and it just makes him look like a huge idiot like this one thing that's been explicitly stated to him multiple times he's just totally failed to retain like I'm just saying at least if we knew that Anastasia genuinely enjoyed the idea of dating a billionaire we'd kind of you know understand her a little better and we can have this kind of dark story where like she's using him but he's a bad person - and who's really in the wrong and it's these two nasty people who are gaining each other and each trying to manipulate as much as they can out of the party anyway we don't want to change a ton of the script so I think to establish this idea that I have well you just put Anastasia in like a floor-length mink coat and she's got oversized sunglasses and she's constantly holding one of those like fancy long cigarette holders and she speaks in a mid-atlantic accent number five the crazy lady that's following Anastasia around with a gun turns out to actually be a pretty weak threat they reveal in the movie that one of Christians past submissives is now crazy which is a great endorsement for dating Christian and she's following Anastasia around then later in the movie we have a scene where Anastasia walks into Christians apartment and she's startled by this blonde lady she's never seen before this random lady is like oh hi I'm Christians housekeeper you've been to his house a million times and you've never seen me before but don't worry about it I'm making dinner can I take your coat I just really wanted this to be the crazy lady she dyed her hair and changed her name and then got legitimately hired by Christian right under his nose she's playing the long con instead this crazy ex of mrs. plot is actually pretty boring we even have a masquerade party and she's not there hiding under a mask instead we have a different bill in there and I think at this point in the movie he wasn't even a villain yet and I'm going to get to him in a second anyway I think is our most prominent villain this crazy ex needs like a way more elaborate scheme I'd like to see her popping up everywhere and just increasingly intense disguises she's just like The Count Olaf of the Fifty Shades of Grey universe and Christian always seems to buy it but Anastasia's like hey wait a second number six everybody wants Anastasia dead and I don't just mean the viewers a lot of women really like Christian Grey there's that woman who works for him who's at his birthday party and she's like flirting with him and then she glares at a Stacia cuz she's jealous she hates her so much then there's the lady who molested Christian when he was 15 who's still friends with him and is invited to his birthday party and she hates Anastasia too and she keeps like cornering her and bathrooms just to remind her that she's not enough for Christian and then obviously there's the aforementioned crazy ex stocks Bella for weeks hides in her apartment and eventually threatens her with a gun so I would just say that the author hates all women because she's jealous and insecure and she used them all his romantic rivals because she does but also all the men in this universe are mentally unstable weirdos we have Christian and I already went over his baggage Jemma we have Anna's boss Jack Hyde his name is very subtle Jack smiles he's likable he's kind to his employees and then all of a sudden he just turns violent and crazy and he tries to sexually assault Anastasia presumably just to make Christian look better by comparison the most harmless man that crushes on Anastasia is Jose and apparently he and Anastasia go way back but the last time we saw Jose he was pawing at Anastasia outside of a bar while she was drunk and resisting so I guess in this movie Jose decided he needs to repair their friendship and the best way to go about that is to invite her to a gallery opening of his photography where it turns out that all of the pictures are giant poster size photos of her face they just look like terrible creepy acting headshots I can't fathom how they are in a gallery other than that Anastasia is the main character so her face is art so we've got all these minor villains crowding the story and I think what we need to fix it is just one really forceful personality to structure the plot around I propose Bane he's not as iconic as the Joker but I think he's got a really strong presence and he can lend themselves well to the universe of this story so we can just establish Bane as the ringleader to all of these felons number seven who even is Jose so josé is Ana's friend who has a crush on her when Fifty Shades of Grey was still a Twilight fan fics a because he's the only character the author decided to make a minority I guess that was the thing that stood out to her about Jacob so everybody that's heard of team Jacob knows that Jacob was one leg of a love triangle and a whole lot of fans actually thought that he stood a chance with Bella you all doesn't even pretend and Jose stands a chance here he was just in like one scene at the beginning of the movie where he's creepy and then he disappears forever at the beginning of this movie Ana goes to his exhibition and he's like hey Ana dinner's on me and then Ana goes and gets dinner with Christian hey what happened to Jose who cares then at the very end of the movie it's Christian's birthday party which is thrown by Christians family at their house the guests in attendance are Christians friends and family and Jose is also there who invited Jose did Christian's family invite Jose you're telling me Christian's mom invited Anastasia's acquaintances from college Jose and then Christian announces to the party that Anastasia has agreed to marry him no spoilers by the way and there's a shot of Jose looking sad like why did you bring the poor guy here just to show him looking sad are they setting Jose up as another villain in the third movie but even though Jose is creepy I still feel bad for him after all it's not his fault like almond or creepy in this universe poor of Jose isn't even remotely in the running to be a love interest he really needs something to justify his existence as a character or make him more appealing in some way so my suggestion is that at the birthday party when Christian announces that he's going to marry Anastasia Jose is so overcome with jealousy and grief that he transforms into a werewolf this supernatural element would not only flesh out Jose's character but would add some much-needed excitement to the franchise as in underworld we can see this age-old conflict between werewolves and BDSM obsessed billionaire and werewolves are pretty sexy so this should make Anastasia's decision a little less clear-cut number 8 Anastasia is literally evil yeah okay I said it everyone is always like Christian is abusive and he is what Anastasia is also really weird and mean to him their whole relationship is really weird and bad Ana's like Christian I can't be into this be Deus anything you like if you love me you'll give it up for me wait never mind I'll try it I like it wait no I don't shame on you you distressed me wait a change Ryan let's do it again he sends mixed signals she sends mixed signals they get mad at each other but then they cry because they need to be together I swear it just feels like Anastasia is trying to keep him in this endless cycle of guilt my favorite example of this is actually from the first movie Anastasia's in this big site was Christian about how she'll never be able to live his lifestyle he's like no it's fine we'll make it work Anastasia is like crying and she's like I want you to hit me as hard as you can to show me how bad it can be this is a ridiculously obvious trap and also why would Christian even want to do this knowing that she's angry and judging him the whole time like how is that still sexy to him but Christian apparently doesn't pick up on this and he just furrows his brow like a big dumb Neanderthal and he's like okay then he starts beating Anastasia with like a cane or a belt or something and no point tells him to stop and he's done and it's like I talked about before he's just kind of like okay I'm done now that was great like okay I guess in some way that was gratifying for him and then Anastasia just goes that's terrible you're terrible something's really wrong with you like who are we supposed to relate to in this horrible story about to mean stupid people tormenting each other neither one can make the other one happy which we know because they keep telling us but they're in love because they're in love that's it they just are so anyway for my fix I would refer back to mink coat Anastasia I'd like to make her manipulation of Christian deliberate like I said we don't want to change the script too much so maybe we could just punctuate some of her existing dialogue with some evil cackling or maybe just a scene where she's smiling and painting her nails because whenever women in film paint their nails it means they're being duplicitous number 9 Christian is going to buy Anastasia's outhouse there's this very natural scene where Anastasia and Christian are sailing on his yacht and suddenly everything a halt so Anastasia can go oh my goodness look at that big house I love that house it's beautiful and extravagant and then that scene is over and there's the montage of them driving the yacht together so I'm not like psychic or anything but I kind of think Christian is maybe going to buy her that house in the third movie you know sometimes people remark on liking something and it doesn't mean that they expect you to buy it for them sometimes you can look at things especially really big things that you usually only need one of like a house and just like it without really committing to wanting to own it but no he's going to buy her that house so if Christian buys Anastasia that house he also better buy her every other thing she ever admires he buys her that cute giraffe she saw on the Discovery Channel he buys her the Space Needle because she's like oh that's pretty if she said she likes it she wants to have it Christian it's practical number 10 there is no climax I'm not even going to make a pun because I'm so serious about this problem so let me tell you a fun story once upon a time when Fifty Shades of Grey was still a Twilight fan sick bastard the universe by Snow Queen ice dragon it only had one sequel which was called master of the universe - very clever this movie is a master of the universe - it's the first half of master of the universe - the sequel to the fanfic was just ridiculously long so when Snow Queen ice dragon went back to split them up into books she just kind of like split him in half and she's like that's fine so what I'm saying is this story doesn't have an ending because it's the movie version of the first half of the sequel of an erotic Twilight fan fiction that should have really just been the tagline anyway earlier I talked about that plotline where Anna's getting stalked by one of Christians exes and this isn't saying a lot but I'm going to go ahead and label that the strongest plot right in the movie they spend the longest time setting it up at least actually at the beginning of the movie you have a couple scenes where Anastasia's like doing other mundane stuff and if you look in the background you can see this creepy girl is behind her with her creepy stare I actually thought it was really well done it creeped me out anyway later in the movie she sneaks into Bella's apartment and confronts her I just realized I just said Bella I can't believe I haven't done that already honestly so later in the story she breaks into Anna's apartment and she Fred's her and she tries to shoot her Christian barges in and stops her you're like oh it's the climactic moment of the movie that's the thing they've been building up but Christians like leave Anastasia all handled it so she does leave and he just handles it off-screen like she wanders the streets and is sad and then later Christians like Oh II sent her to the psych ward so we don't see this plot resolved because Anna's not there for it so yeah that's wrapped up and then the movie just keeps going stuff keeps happening Christian proposes to Anastasia there's a helicopter crash there's a birthday party then the movie ended and I have never been so surprised by a movie ending in my life because until it happened I had had no concept of where I was in the movie it just meander around it's this weird pace and then it's the ending scene and I'm like oh it's the ending scene it's ending okay so how am I going to fix this problem like okay here's the script it's in front of me and they're all like hey any feedback about plot progression and like I guess my general feedback is just that it needs a story I'm just kind of just in sticks with letters across the script needs story so that ought to fix it I guess those were all my little suggestions for fifty shades darker you know just a couple things but hey I think it's almost there so I know nobody liked it but this movie made a lot of money right because like I have to admit I'm super excited for the third movie only going to get crazier I wish all fanfics could be movies okay the best scene in the whole movies Anastasia gets this job at a publishing company and she's like in this board meeting all these stuffy old men are like there are too many books we're gonna publish less books and it's just going to be famous authors and Anastasia is like I disagree we need to give new authors a chance I found this online author with billions of hits and it was literally just the author on her soapbox like her just patting herself on the back like everybody thought I was a talentless hack because I wrote Twilight erotic fan fiction but look at me now

Channel: Jenny Nicholson

Views: 1,055,122

Keywords: E. L. James, Snowqueens IceDragon, E. L. Icedragon, fifty shades of grey, 50 shades of gray?, how is it spelled how is it punctuated

Id: gzVNYdmS8s8

Length: 20min 13sec (1213 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 04 2017