The Halloween Costumes Nobody Wanted

so it's Halloween time my favorite time of year one of my favorite Halloween traditions is to go to the spirit Halloween store and look at all the weird bad costumes that they have and make fun of them in person every Halloween store the online shops and even like the ones that are in person and they're only there for a month they always have like a sad corner that's clearance like these are all cheap badly made costumes and these are the ones that are on sale at nobody bought I looked at all the different outlets this year and I decided to take it a step farther I bought 10 sad reject costumes from various sources today I am gonna try them on if they fit and try to determine what went wrong so let's do the first costume first up we have the Scorpion King costume this past year we had a mummy movie that came out and this is not from that mummy movie this is from The Mummy Returns when this one arrived in the mail it literally it feels gross every component of it including the stuff that's inside the bag feels not dusty but saw dusty like I'm doing this one first because I want to get it out of the way put it that way this mysterious powder came out of the freaking Scorpion King package it's black firstly I acknowledge that this doesn't really fit me it's a little boys costume the best component of this one might be that it has a mask I hope there's powder at the pass well I mean the resemblance is pretty good to give him he's like smirk they made one of the eye holes not a full-size eye hole and the other one is already pretty small and my beautiful now model I haven't seen the Scorpion King movie but I have seen the mummy too and I think he was in it for like one second I have to assume that's why this wasn't like a big ticket item but I mean it's it's in the clearance now in 2017 so like I'm being very judgmental but all I know this was a really popular Halloween costume the year that it debuted although I don't remember seeing a lot of little Scorpion Kings running around this costume had a rock-bottom price point and it was being sold as a purple monster costume I thought it was ridiculous but now that it arrived I realized that it's not a purple monster costume it's a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater costume I mean the only thing worth for marching on is this is clearly like an outfit to wear to a rave it's like sexy purple people eater costume clearly you're supposed to wear this with like those fuzzy boots those fuzzy platform boots it's absurdly short like this is the reason I put pants on for this video like it's not a dress it's just if you have no pants on you you're just panceliss I think the reason this one didn't sell so well is if you're like hot and young and you want to learn a sexy costume your brain doesn't go straight to old novelty songs you know like what should I wear to the club I can be grandma that got run over by a reindeer this is just I feel like I have quite high standards but to me this isn't like really a costume it's just kind of a weird outfit so I wouldn't wear it for Halloween but I can't imagine myself rocking it as like just like a sweatshirt over a normal outfit in like March but says this does remind me of the song I think that I like it so this one's a win you guys know I love Star Wars so obviously I had to find some kind of Star Wars costume in the clearance section my option was Flo Koon you know Flo Koon every child's favorite it is another little boy costume but it's a large so I hope it fits I was putting this on and I was like this outfit is cool I feel awesome in it and then I was like oh there's an ugly mess it's not also like all the way in its pristine packaging it's been never born by human skin oh it smells they always do here's the full effect with the mask it didn't come with a lightsaber but I do have a lightsaber I am Flo Koon the visibility in this I got a thing is not great hope it is cool though like I feel it'll cool one thing I want to share with you guys if you can see it is that Pleau kun doesn't have like a nose so with the mask they just didn't leave any room for a nose so the whole time you're in it your nose is just being crushed flat into your face which is not a great feeling the Dwayne Johnson one as soon as I put it on I just started sweating horribly this one I mean it's obviously cheap fabric and it's really thin but it does like breathe I have to assume that the reason this one was reject costume is because it's Pleau kun and if you're like I don't know hoopla kun is explained like that's my point you don't know who plug kun is I've never met a child that's like my favorite Star Wars character is plug oooh I feel like this is like a kid sent their mom out to get the Anakin or the obi-wan and they were all sold out and she comes home like it's Star Wars and it's like thanks remember hi hi puffy AmiYumi this is a cartoon show I don't know anyone that watched it I think it was just about the life of this Japanese pop group that sang the Teen Titans theme song I don't know did any of you watch it I don't read the comments I do want to point out they have the the hair like the foam headpiece so it looks like a cartoons hair I think that's a cute concept but like please notice what it looks like on there and then they just they just gave all the way up I never watched the cartoon but this costume does make me feel like a cartoon character I think if you wanted to have a really unique costume at a party and you could find the other one of these somewhere like on eBay then this would be a great like best friends or lesbian couple costume idea like if you're lesbian hipsters who are really into cartoons so like that's the secret demographic for this costume figure it out Cartoon Network one thing that would be interesting if you committed to wearing this for a whole night is just listen to the sound it makes when I walk let me just walk over to the punch bowl get some Halloween punch at this party I am femputer this costume is immense large so I did know what I was getting into I just roll up to like a vampire party in a mansion wearing this exact outfit to me I'm like a cool I'm as cool as the other vampires hey this costume was ordered online and it arrived like crumpled in like a plastic bag and and then just rolled up in the plastic bag was this extremely crumpled packaging cardboard and it appears that it's not even for this costume like the that's not the same shirt this is a different outfit but my favorite component is this horribly cheap medallion thing like and it's just on this crumply ribbon I just I don't know I think I think whenever I picture vampires I think of like the height of dignity and sophistication and vampiro doesn't fully capture that from if I was the right size at least it would look like it fit properly I'll admit I'm not doing Vampiro any favors but I don't think I'm I'm doing it a great disservice either if I saw this costume on a real vampire I would be so into it for that matter if I just saw a dude at a Halloween party with this costume I would fully respect his choice I think there's something really charming and really underrepresented about public domain Halloween costumes I would love to throw a Halloween party where you're only allowed to our public domain characters so everyone's a werewolf or a vampire or like an angel or generic superhero nobody's allowed to dress as Harley Quinn or a character from Game of Thrones or anything like that and the longer I have the song the more it is not on me anymore I'm gonna move on to the next one this outfit is called honey bear the thing I want to point out about this costume is that this is a tween costume I fully support the right of tweens to wear whatever kind of costumes they feel like if your tween selects this costume for Halloween you should let her wear it but you should be concerned I just the implications of wanting to be sexy and be a little child teddy bear because this this isn't a normal bear costume look at what's printed on there it's a teddy bear this is another one where like I'm glad I'm wearing pants you can tell what it's going for and what it's going for is like not what I want to think about when I think teddy bear you can't have it both ways simultaneously you can't have the little kids stuff combined with the sexy stuff you have to lik decide where you're gonna draw that line it's like fetishy Lolita stuff where you're like when adults wear it you're like whatever and then if it's like preteens wearing stuff that evokes that you're like no I also feel like when a costume has to have an image printed on it of what it's supposed to be that's like a clear admission of failure on the costumers part I think honestly though tweens have good and that's why this one was on clearance is that it's just not a good look like nobody that does one wear a sexy costume wants to be dressed as a teddy bear and I think we as a culture should be happy about that oh yeah and even have a tail yeah I know I'm done with this costume gonna go ahead and designate this one as good execution of a poor concept it sounds like if your tween picks this costume you're like oh honey why I'm gonna wear sexy stuff like the other kids this is my outfit scandalous mom is also my first costume too come with feet thingies look it's got little flippers for the feet this one is winning me over it comes with a lot of pieces look it's got these spade-shaped flipper things for the hands I mean it almost hurts more it's like they really tried this is a men's small I overlooked the fact that I'm not a man I thought it would fit jakesully how the mighty have fallen another joke everyone makes about avatar is like everyone forgot about avatar or soon as was on theatres and it's true but also like contextually I don't think people were wearing jakesully costumes the year it came out either I think the virtue of Avatar was that it looked really cool and it was in this new version of 3d I don't think people were like I love Jake solely there's two iterations of Jake Sully they can make into a costume there's like fully blue Jake Sully or this awkward pyjama one from like right when he turned into an avatar this is like casual Friday Jake Sully like if you're insecure about your body and you don't want to wear like a skin type blue suit or I imagine this one is also the cheaper alternative it really conveys that I skinned Jake solely and I'm wearing his flash as a moss this mask is intense too it has like bits for the ears to hook over your ears whoever wants to be 75% of the way into an avatar mask they even have like the turtleneck that goes part way up there like look people are gonna be convinced that you are avatar I'm not gonna lie I was like excited to get this costume I just think it's funny I had to get this one because it was the saddest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life just spaghetti I guess I'm wearing like the tablecloth of an attack in restaurant and and their spaghetti on my shoulders not a lot of spaghetti this one is very mysterious to me it was just listed on eBay and it was like I just a picture of it lying in a pile it's like one size fits all there's there's no packaging or anything it was just like it is what it says it is it's spaghetti I just thought it was so strange that I had this like magnetic draw to it like I had to get it this is another one we're like not only is it barely a costume but like who wants to be spaghetti for Halloween I also noticed just now when I was putting it on it the tag is still attached and then originally this sold for $30 this is a good costume for people who have eaten spaghetti and they like spaghetti if you don't know what the costume is it says spaghetti so every woman knows that your dress is spaghetti I was just talking about costumes that have to be labeled and this one to its credit does really need to be labelled I think this would be a good first date ensemble especially if you're getting pasta but like shoot even if you're not Halloween is one time a year and you can only pick one costume what do you want to dress up as and somebody somebody in the history of the world has picked spaghetti like I'm gonna assume that this didn't move a lot of units but it's impossible that it was zero somebody bought this costume and they wore it to a party I think this is a waste of a Halloween costume but I would love to wear this costume to comic-con like this is your cosplay you are cosplaying as spaghetti honestly I really wanted to get this one like not because I want to wear it anywhere but just because this is like an iconic bad Halloween costume for me like I've been making fun of it since the year it came out and it's honestly only gotten funnier each year since then you probably think I am just wearing some tasteless Native American costume but no I am wearing a sexy Tonto from the lone danger costume there's the beautiful model showing it off for us I'm not gonna lie I was a little devastated that the bird headpiece wasn't gonna be included this costume truly hits like a beautiful trifecta of things that make costumes bad it's a stereotypical depiction of a racial group it's a sexual ization of something that really nobody in their right mind would think to sexualize and finally my favorite it is a pop-culture character from a thing that's way beyond being relevant in the case of this it was never relevant I think my favorite part is probably the horribly unflattering face paint like it's like little suede dress and all this stuff and then it's like straight dead accurate tanto face paint I wanted this costume to be part of this so badly and honestly it was kind of hard for me to find I had to look at like three different Halloween retailers and then finally they just had this one in stock that's like the biggest mystery of the Tonto costume for me because like nobody's been buying them so where did they go I think with this particular costume it's not out of line to think that there's like a landfill somewhere that's full of sexy Tonto costume I've been trying to offer alternatives to like what you could repurpose the costumes for and with this one I know there's no where I would wear this and in fact I feel like Jeff's wearing it in the video makes me look pretty racist and could be used against me um I guess on that note this is the end of the video happy Halloween what are you gonna dress that I ordered all these and I was like after the video I can donate all these costumes like to a goodwill and the more of them I was putting on the more I was like it feels almost mean to donate them to Goodwill like like it's like some kind of sadistic power play like you want to remind the kids shopping at Goodwill that they can't have nice things like have some garbage Hey it's like jakesully take it I don't want this jakesully I don't know and at the same time I do not want to keep them so you I think an optimal use for this outfit is like if you live in the universe where the purge is real I would wear this on the purge obviously like if it's the purge you do not wear the pants underneath if you're wearing pants on the purge you're making yourself a victim you just be like I'm just not wearing pants it's the purge it's legal actually just a second this is my purge outfit I'm gonna break into your house it's it's a clever political statement and then I'm like spray-painting capitalism sucks in hot pink get it it's girly but it's politics it's the purge lasting some Ed Sheeran music and drinking rat poison

Channel: Jenny Nicholson

Views: 1,942,558

Keywords:

Id: K9JttJ_B0PQ

Length: 18min 37sec (1117 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 26 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/ruderabbit]

"I've never met a child who said 'my favourite Star Wars character is Plo Koon."

That was me.

I was that child.

[u/angrydeanerino]

The Spaghetti one was the best one

[u/ThatDaveyGuy]

Plo Koon is fucking awesome I don't care what anyone says.

JEDI POWER BATTLES FUCK YES

[u/Greekbatman]

The Scorpion King?! Jesus The Mummy Returns came out in 2001. How old is that costume?

[u/Thats_DrSpaceJunk_2U]

I want to be spaghetti! LOL so werid

[u/Thetschopp]

I absolutely lost it at Spaghetti.

That is the funniest, laziest attempt at a costume I've ever seen. Spectacular.

[u/Thefriendlyfaceplant]

Now I really want to see her getting that cameo in the next Purge movie. Dressed as a sexy purple monster with a Scorpion King mask.

[u/[deleted]]

oh no! That black powder is most likely roach eggs

[u/sksuvo]

Can we please have a vampire movie played completely straight except they're all wearing the cheapest, most ill-fitting shitty halloween costumes the director can find!!!!!