Why Does Creepypasta Suck

so as a kid who loved horror stories I obviously read a lot of creepypasta in my day for those not in the know creepypasta or what you graduate to and you're slightly too old for goosebumps and you keep reading them into adulthood if you're intimidated by real books creepypasta or horror stories written by people on the internet and post it and share it around for free I love them because it's basically campfire stories on like a global scale and I feel like a format like this could yield some really good results and sometimes it does in the case of stories that don't work it's usually just the one really big huge obvious fatal flaw that they go too far the best horror stories in my opinion have just enough creepy elements to unnerve you but leave you wondering if it could actually be true or not especially because the conceit of creepypasta is that they're usually being told as true stories the subreddit for creepypasta is an in character subreddit where you can't say like nice stories good use of adverbs you have to be like oh my god did you ever find the ghost locket a lot of the most famous creepypasta stories and characters come from the something awful forums they used to have like these compilation threads where they'd be like share your scariest true supernatural story and everyone would share these stories in the first person fortunately but unfortunately the best story started getting like really known by word-of-mouth so they would get reposted when the threads came back and started getting kind of their own level of Fame so all these amateur writers started to see it as their shot at Fame so everyone started trying to up the ante on their stories so that they could have the memorable one this basically was like an arms race of shock horror or creepy gore everybody wanted to have the new Slenderman or wire man or goat man or candle lady I just made that one up everybody stopped caring about suspension of disbelief and their stories just became kind of ridiculous and not scary I'm going to give you guys some symptomatic examples of this using some very famous creepypastas the expressionless okay this story is about how at the night shift at a hospital a creepy woman with like a mannequin plasticky face shows up covered in blood all the doctors see her and think she's so creepy and unnerving they just start puking everywhere which like I tend to have that effect on people - anyway the setup is good creepy lady shows up doesn't speak no expression covered in blood gets treatment leaves who was she we don't know what was she something scary that would be a good scary story tell someone did it happen it happened to my cousin I kind of believe you I at least believe that you believe it you're not just lying to me but in this story when the lady shows up she's actively chomping on a dead kitten it's extremely silly not like if it happened it wouldn't be silly it's silly - right she then proceeds to like crack her neck to the side menacingly like a Japanese horror movie monster she like bites the throats out of a bunch of doctors and goes I am God and then eats everybody except one suddenly she always leaves one person alive because dead men tell no tales so that story's crazy it obviously didn't happen that's not scary it would be scary if you were there and it was happening but when you're not there you don't believe that it's happening too far it's too removed from reality to be scary candle Cove I think this story is actually one of the better creepypasta out there definitely in the top 10 just because the premise is pretty original and it's written in like a unique format where it's supposed to look like a message board it's a bunch of people reminiscing about this old public access show starring a bunch of creepy low-res puppets it had cute characters and cheesy slogans and then suddenly one really weird episode a bit like traumatised everybody who saw it the twist ending is that the main characters mom reveals that whenever he was watching the show he was just looking at static the whole time and she thought he just made it up but everyone else remembers it - suggesting that something supernatural has happened that's creepy this one almost gets right it's closed but one of the characters from the puppet show is a creepy skeleton with a top hat and a cape it's made of patchwork pieces of skin he's literally named the skin taker it just totally ruins the suspension of disbelief no pun intended because they're puppets suspended on strings suspension display the thing the characters were describing sounds like it could be a real show until they mention the skin taker you have to believe it could be a real show for it to be scary and a kids show character would just never be named that when the characters are first reminiscing about the show they're just kind of like I remember that show it was kind of weird and they're describing the skin Baker still in that tone of it was kind of weird like no that's not kind of weird that's unbelievable immediately you know it's not real people talking it's just willfully stupid horror story characters and it's ruined forever evidently when the show is adapted to TV the skin taker was renamed to jawbone I heard that that happened because some angry fans were like why did they change it that's why it's because it's a better name abandoned by Disney this story is another one I really want to like it has a really good backstory and it feels believable so in this story Disney had a jungle theme resort called Mowgli's palace that was in North Carolina and they closed it because of local protests and lack of interest then it dropped off the face of the earth city basically never merchandises the animated jungle book movie but my disbelief can go that far i'm disney the rich enough company that they do have a long history of deciding something's a sunk cost and just abandoning it instead of trying to make it work or demolishing it what the company doesn't really like to advertise failures so all their abandoned stuff is kind of just immortalized on like old sad geo city sites so it makes it kind of hard to prove a negative so Mobley's Palace could exist let me get into the story the main character is an urban explorer that goes to Mowgli's palace they go through everything it's all smashed up and creepy and waterlogged he sees like mutely reptiles that's kind of dumb but it isn't quite ruin it okay and there's creepy graffiti everywhere he assumes it's from bitter employees or locals and it says abandoned by Disney that's a cool idea then the narrator goes into a room marked mascots only Disney never call this character suits mascots even in employee terminology let alone where the public can see it but okay you go through an employee break area and everything's like in disarray like it's been left in a hurry and then he goes into the defunct costume room so up till this point still good okay creepy but then one of the mascot suits is a photo negative version of Mickey Mouse so the blacks and whites are reversed and the shorts are blue that's really dumb then he finds a human skull in the Donald Duck costume ah then the Mickey Mouse suit stands up then it says in a Mickey Mouse voice want to see my head come off and then it pulls its head off and then blood and gore pours out of it this is so dumb so bad my suspension of disbelief can handle an abandoned Disney Resort even if it's steamed around the animated jungle book movie and I can accept that it's now an ominous godless place to visit and also that this guy had some creepy vibes while he was there and thought he heard whispers that's scary and maybe then he found evidence that something really spooky went down cool yes I'm even here for the Mickey Mouse suit moving around when he's not looking or maybe he turns around and it's in the standing position maybe even here is raspy breathing from inside that's really scary is it a guy is it a ghost what if it want is it going to hurt him but having a talk having to talk in a Mickey Mouse voice I love listening to audio readings of this story because I like seeing when they get to that part if the narrator's actually go for it and try to do the Mickey Mouse voice it's amazing and why is it a photo negative like that's the part that ruins the story okay possessed Mickey Mouse suit or psycho guy in a Mickey Mouse suit but why would it look like a photo negative Disney just deliberately crafted it to look scary I'm picturing like a all these seamstress woman in this brightly lit Disney where I was buying Disneyland just cranking away on her sewing machine you know this is the scary one they said they were building a resort over like a hell melt so they need five ''tis before opening day why is it photo negative why did they commissioned this I'll tell you why it's a photo negative because if it's just a Mickey suit then it's just a Mickey suit if it's a photo negative Mickey suit it's an original creepypasta character and people can draw a fan art and cosplay as it a convention the writer obviously wanted this thing to join the pantheon of famous creepypasta monsters and lived in that mansion that Slenderman and Jeff the killer take you to if you stab your friend and fortunately he was willing to ruin a story to do it the Russian sleep experiment this is probably the second worst creepypasta I've ever read and the worst one is just a killer the premise of the Russian sleep experiment is that Russians had an experiment on prisoners of war where they locked them up in a room and then pumped it full of gas that kept them awake for a bunch of days I defied a mark the subjects behavior became increasingly bizarre and on nerving as it slowly drove them insane the researchers can only see inside through these creepy little windows there is nothing wrong with that setup there are enough pieces here that could be creepy if you ignored it and realize a guy has stayed awake for 11 days and nothing bad happened and he didn't go crazy maybe that's something you should google before you write the story from there the guy's overly gratuitous descriptions of all the crazy stuff that happened are so absurd and over-the-top that I can't imagine why anyone would even find them scary the test subjects covered the windows but you can hear them screaming inside that's scary and they killed one guy and they rip their guts out with their bare hands and they filled the room with water and they put their guts out all everywhere and when they took them out they were so crazy powerful that they couldn't even take them down with tranquilizers anymore and their heart speed for a really long time after they bled out and while you're doing surgery on them they start like laughing and stuff because they like it because they're crazy objectively the silliest point comes at the very end of the story one of the Russian guards freaks out and he's like what are you and one of the test subjects straight it delivers like a dramatic monologue about the duality of man we are you we are the madness that lurks within you all begging to be free at every moment in your deepest animal minds we are what you hide from in your beds every night we are what you sedate into silence and paralysis when you go to the nocturnal Haven where we cannot tread I add writing but is pretty good pickup line so that list doesn't mean that there are no good creepypasta there are also plenty of good ones drawing a blank right now my ideal creepypasta is Ted's caving page in like 2001 this guy made a Angelfire page about his adventures spelunking and like updated chronologically with journal entries about this creepy cave that he found with his friends nothing that crazy happened but like pictures wouldn't turn out if you took them in certain scary parts of the cave and he would hear this sound like rock moving against rock and his friends dog didn't want to go near the cave the most concretely supernatural moments that ended up happening was at one point he cuts this rope that he was using to guide himself through the cave and he notices that there is suddenly a forced on it like something deep in the cave is pulling the rope inside and that's like what's at the other end of the rope I still get like goose bumps thinking about it the story didn't go too far and it didn't have like a crazy ending it literally just ended with one last journal entry where he's like I know there's something scary in the cave but I need closure so I'm going to go back and I'll be posting again soon with some answers and then you just never posts again he's just you know this thing happened to him the store he was scary and works because it never asked us to believe anything too far-fetched like maybe it's an animal in the cave but it's totally not an animal in the cave it's totally like a ghost or something if somebody wrote that story this here it would probably end with like a pale long arms thing crawls out of the cave over the ledge and it's wearing like a novelty Donald Duck hat because that's ironic if it's the thing for kids and there's a monster and in his hand he's clutching a DVD of the lost episode of Caillou and you can see on the cover that Caillou's eyes are bleeding this story was simple and effective and it felt real didn't have anything flashy it was like The Blair Witch Project of creepypasta and all my other examples are like the Paranormal Activity 6 the ghost dimensions of creepypasta they're bad something by the way unrelated one of the cringe eeeh stings I've seen in modern creepypasta is people that write their stories with like a dialect like they want their story to come from a 70 year old gravedigger in Tennessee so they type his accent into the narration and this is still supposed to be a true story you know how JK Rowling types hybrid speech and Harry Potter it's like that the things I've seen in rattlesnake Gulch ain't like nothing I've seen before or since as a West Virginian coal miner I not only have an account on something awful calm but the self-awareness to type by an accent out phonetically

Channel: Jenny Nicholson

Views: 1,539,668

Keywords:

Id: KAN_IPwK1K8

Length: 15min 20sec (920 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 28 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/29979245T]

Entertaining video. Even though it's an obvious complaint, it deserved that 15-minute rant. I'm happy that I'm not the only one who spent a ton of time reading Creepypastas even though they're all flawed in the same ways.

I completely agree about Ted's Caving Page, too. It goes a little too far but it's still the best I've read.

[u/deaddonkey]

Surprisingly entertaining video that makes points that I totally agree with. Every creepypasta breaks down after like the midpoint, where the prohtagunnist just starts having spooky conversations with evil monsters and their razor sharp fangs

[u/Mousse_is_Optional]

The title is a bit of disservice to the video. It makes it sound like it's going to be a takedown of the entire format of creepypastas, when really it's a criticism of some stories of a format she honestly seems to like. I also think her criticism of Candle Cove is pretty weak, but other than that I liked this video.

Also, Ted's Caving Page is amazing. One thing that's great about it is how it's so rooted in reality. The guy who wrote it is a real caver, and he pretty much just documents a real spelunking experience and writes a bit of creepypasta around it. The feeling of claustrophobia and the fear of darkness and being lost forever are very real when you're underground, and it compliments a creepypasta setting extremely well. It borderlines on boring tedium at times, which only helps the believability.

[u/1654168516851]

She reminds me of Michael Cera for some reason. Can't figure out why.