Fatherly Advice

now look we're buddies we really are buddies and he tells me everything he told me and some things I want to hear and some things I don't some things are just too much like he came home excited one night and he was like hey I better ask you a couple questions I might make comfortable and I was like did you not want to ask a friend there's like no dad you because you know I don't want to ask him I get embarrassed I'm okay he was okay so okay so you know point out the Ashley up Friday and we're gonna be alone together we're gonna be doing some things I've never done before so I just got a couple questions he goes we're gonna be kissing and my eyes are gonna be shut right I go yes don't be creepy open I kiss a guy that's for worse you know when you're kissing somebody and you crack your eye like this and they're like this and you're like well [ __ ] tonight's the night I die I guess I don't know why you'd be staring at me from an 8 the bench away you psycho okay I go yeah dude eyes eyes definitely definitely close he was good question number one answered and he goes you know might know what to do here and he's brought his problem was terrible but I didn't want to tell him how to undo a bra cuz I got high school not knowing how to undo a bra you've got to figure it out yourself look guys when I want to see boobs in high school my bra move is this you know any boob number you put it on top of the titties and it like cuts him in half you're like are those sound like a man who's you know I know what to do it I know and then he goes and then dad and he starts to do this and he's looking right at me he goes and then dad and I'm like oh I knew I should have gotten behind for this guy Reza walking his fingers down his stomach then he goes then dad this is exactly what he said he was then dad this this is where I hear things get a little tricky yeah whoever told you that was right they do again it does he said you know because oh the lights are on my eyes are gonna be closed so I don't how do you like when you have dad how do you like when you like dad oh he was let me start over okay kissing eyes closed boobies know what to do there take a walk down the tricky town here we are and he said what I need to know from you dad is went like when you're like when you were with dad would you this is this is getting kind of weird is it me I do I should do we're so far past awkward I am on suicide watch can you just ask me the question okay that I'll ask you like when you're doing it when you're how would you how do you touch a woman's Bonanno dad how do you do that and I was like you tell you my secrets I'm not giving you my secrets I work no secrets every man in America we all Harbor those secrets right there but every man of America's couple of the gates even gonna kick you to the finish line [ __ ] you figured out let the rest of us go but you don't go from a princess to sorcerer in one day that's our life Sam pretty sure it's like Harry Potter seven movies I don't [ __ ] know eight mother I'm just saying the first time I went down the girls pants it would have been nice if somebody had told me but nobody ever told me but would have a nice the first time I haven't down a girl's pants if somebody had told me that the hole was so far back I was push it around here for like 20 minutes I'm like what's the deal is it gonna pop open or do I need a password for this little pig little pig let me in and then when I finally hit a hole I thought I'm so far back I'm in the wrong one for sure I skipped over the vagina and then when I realized that was in the right place teenage boys are the worst when I finally realized that was in the right place I just left my finger there like I was taking her temperature or something no movement or anything just this the whole time like [ __ ] the Thanksgiving turkey and I was just waiting harder I think I might even a lead in it was like does that feel good so bad [Music] you

Channel: Josh Wolf

Views: 4,696,503

Keywords: Josh Wolf, father, advice, comedy, stand-up, stand-up comedy, special, stand-up comedy video, funny, laugh, comedy video, comedian

Id: mL_3vcz1lDQ

Length: 5min 37sec (337 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 29 2019