fantasy high: freshman year ep 2 "clash of the corn cuties" | favorite bits

a number of terrifying corn grounds populating the space they're not terrifying they're [ __ ] they got little bucks incorrect they look like cuties and little like playful pajamas okay so they have more cuties the table and take out and go for uh this first uh corn cutie uh incredible uh go ahead and make an acrobatics check if you'd like [Applause] you leap forward um and [ __ ] trip and face plant in the rows in between the tables do this so you make it look like you meant to do that uh yeah can i stand and just brush myself and be like i mean i uh it happens to i mean i the tables are so high here this is really confusing to me because i worship the corn god so in a way these all look like little angels that's right we're not good at jumping oh i stopped i'm holding a staff everyone i'm holding a large go for it and your staff gets stuck in between the bench at the table and you're worried [ __ ] you i'm good at this 13 plus 19. yeah it's a failure what do you say as you're about to vault everyone look i'm good effortlessly like back flip three twists in the air bam uh and land in the space next to this corn gremlin you're you i think you spend way too much time vaulting you're getting involved in the vault the corn gremlin kind of goes and just sees exactly where you're gonna land and dips out of the way looks at you i'm sorry just hit me sorry it's just it's very this is a good game people have been playing this game for many years it's very good i think you're in for a little surprise uh dips her ladle in the tuna surprise i open my mouth i have spells that i can't can i duck under this table or at least like duck behind the table you could duck under my dead body move to here cool and attack that corn cutie that's coming at you yes thanks pal all right uh they're called grandmas they are they're called mortals which table here this one here no uh don't i haven't done anything as a dungeon master to insinuate that you have to jump on tables these corn cuties may be getting us but these tables we're showing these tables she pops out of corn where did that where did that come from is it really realistic someone hold my hand i love you i know oh my god i know ma'am why did you say that was a deep woman's voice so yeah to die okay i got cutie uh 17. roll damage baby cut that cutie cut that cutie cutie i hit it i say just a little just to myself not so cute anymore [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] can they get free attacks on you and these gremlins are too overpowered by the light what is happening i guess so this specific god this specific the corn one is real fig say you did yeah you can call me fig what's wrong with you oh i'm gonna die cuz corn [Music] [Laughter] [Music] did you say your motorcycle my dad charged your motorcycle oh my god uh yeah all you guys just see fig kind of smiling blood just flowing oh no god um i gotta help her uh yeah i'm gonna sprint at the ooze and jump and double double fist my rapier into the into one of the butthole there's a bunch of hot tater tots skewer out of her label oh you didn't mention those were on the menu uh you see you reach your hand out and the ladle leaves her hand goes bam hits you she goes now the source of all my power i need that for my power she's really laying it out for us it's like it kind of isn't the way the ladle is the source of her power we know where should how many roles do you have of death um if i were to roll a one i would be dead yeah okay i'll i'll go but i probably won't run a roll of one just and you feel something you you're you go blade hill your basket hill all the way to the corner your arm goes like part of the way [Applause] she just like [ __ ] terminated her like give me back my light up wow these tables are a character [ __ ] it's your first day you're in your prep school in private school uniform and you [ __ ] brain this old lady across the back it's their own lady with her own little blood splatters all over your refined towels you're [ __ ] um i'm sorry i'm so sorry i'm sorry uh it's like every worst nightmare about this school has been completely confirmed you walked up and witnessed a fight in the first three minutes of you stole something out of panic attack and just attacked one of the faculty oh god i'm saved the last dance how big is this thing's butthole goblin size yes this butthole is [ __ ] diving in head first yes yep just going right in his butthole i yelled don't tell anyone about this and then i jump into his butt is somewhere not really [Applause] now comes a moment as a dungeon master where i have to consider what associated skill check is involved with jumping up a corn blob's butthole that's wild that's really wild animal handling [Laughter] you must persuade the sphincter uh it's not biotics is it survival i think it's actually two three yeah [Applause] you figured it out we need to go in his eyes directly over the corn ooze as it goes [Music] it opens its mouth uh prepare to drop you um temperatures just fine and you guys see fabian disappear into this thing's mouth jesus well at least rizz went in by choice what's up it says third tries to and you hit her so hard inside of her face that her jaw breaks and a bunch of teeth fly out of her mouth and she passes out hits her head really hard on the table and falls over unconscious oh my god i know she's paralyzed are you pushing her baby this woman no what'd you do you have like a blood plus definitely have a panic attack yeah yeah yeah you know what honestly you go in yeah yeah the ladle has like a weird curve to it now you're covered you're covered in blood you have a fragment of tooth hanging in a blood off your jaw okay all right adam's turn you attempt to fist this corn ooze and um you're a wrong lean athletic you feel your face press up against the sphincter of its [ __ ] as your full arm all the way past the shoulder gets all the way up in there uh lunch ladies [ __ ] she makes a death save uh natural one um and it was like the only cool person at the school and not a not like a corn gremlin or a weird monster like a human like a full person we were supposed to fix this and then she was gonna come back to life at least nobody's supposed to get [ __ ] eaten yeah supposed to get trapped in a butthole we were supposed to fight it and kill it we spend too much time jumping on tables my teeth i can't feel my teeth you see remember me no as i was a single woman of some years old made pre-prepared meals for children i asked for nothing and i didn't choose for this to happen to me it's your responsibility to make this right because you killed me you did it only you and you didn't have to you chose to these are your choices and you live with them remember my face every time you close your eyes jesus i kill myself you feel a goblin hand right here the worst version of predator ever um so slippery um gorgog's dead gorgong is dead oh my god we're good straight up dead goes wow now this looks like a lot this looks like a whole lot there are dead people in here do something or get somebody who can do something okay if that's what you want right [ __ ] now you see he sprints out of the cafeteria um i'm covered in fluids we really came into this like la dee da and it was like oh my god we all called him corn cuties and we all acted like corn cuties we spent time jumping up and jumping down dude they they were still cute a bunch of our shows was gone by the time we got death is a part of life eternal and unforgiving it exists around us in all places for energy can neither be created nor destroyed can you [ __ ] do something or not [Music] death is an old friend it's a glass are there clerics or priests or anybody here it's a spoon when all you need is a knife this is elena's more set lyrics i know i'm dead but you see he says death waits for us all with the exception of some immortal beings such as gods and vampires some form of undead um but death waits for many of us maybe not elves elves are immortal if they're if they live in their homelands riz takes off down the hall and tries to find somebody else as you take off you see he says however there are times when great magic can work wonders you [ __ ] you see he reaches into his coat and takes out um a swirling ball of fire uh with surrounded by pieces with red feathers you see he says the egg of the last phoenix however death will exact its price there is foul play in this school only you can save us a life for a life hey mr gibbons seen this dream come up and says i'm sorry what and you see that principal egg fork takes out a gun and shoots mr gibbons in the head and then takes the gun and says the price must be paid and shoots himself in the head gorgog and kristen you come back to life what the [ __ ] with the lunch lady what what about her life it could have counted for one of them uh you're all back at full hit points what did you just do we gotta go guys

Channel: kristen applebees

Views: 6,765

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: dimension 20, dropout, dnd, fantasy high

Id: CU8GiWzOkYM

Length: 14min 59sec (899 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 21 2021