- [Narrator] Behold, Calorum. Many years past, the Ravening War raged across the six kingdoms. The war ended 20 years ago, with the creation of the Concord, an empire that would see power passed amongst the six kingdoms. Ever since has peace reigned, tended to by the great
powers of the realm, the Bulbian Church and
the Concordant Emperor. But our story does not begin in the homey city of Bright Garden. Nor does it begin in the great pyramid of Food, in Comida. Our story begins in a land
of sugar, and of sorrow of sweetness, and of strength. Our story begins with "A Crown of Candy". (triumphant music) (metal grinding) (explosion booming) - Hello one and all, and
welcome to season five of dimension 20, "A Crown of Candy! I am your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me is always our intrepid heroes, say hi intrepid heroes. - [Heroes] Hi intrepid heroes! - Hell yeah. (laughing) We'll play this, say hello
again to Ally Beardsley. - Hello. - Brian Murphy!
- Hi. - Emily Axford!
- Hey. - Siobhan Thompson!
- S'up. - Lou Wilson!
- Ciao. - And Zac Oyama!
- Ciao. (laughing) - We're the ciao boys in secret. - Let me tell you guys, ciao is ripe! - Oh! - Oh!
- We did it. - It is a time to get hungry for some very sweet and tasty treats. Without further adieu,
I bring you all now, to the world of Calorum. Imagine if you will an
ancient tome opening, in a long forgotten dusty library, the pages sweeping to the side. Ancient illuminated script
in high gothic font tells us of a story that begins on
the 20th day of Highbright, in the year of Odd Bulb 1215. Within the Concordant Empire
of the Realm of Calorum, there was once a kingdom known as Candia. Wind sweeps over vast
plains and rolling hills of chocolate chip cookie fields. Here, in a vast realm of sweet things and peppermint forests. High in the distance, the northern peaks of the great stone candy mountains has swirling snowstorms
of ice cream winds peal over the horizon. We see tall trees of
ancient lolli orchards, and our sugar cube farmers
toiling the fields, serfs. Spiring towers of sweet frosting and hard rock candy, the fortresses and battlements of ancient empires. We descend to Castle Candy,
on this beautiful day, the hot days of Highbright, the middle month of summer, now unfold. Banners unfurl, and the
symbol of the house of rocks, on a field a single swirled
candy, over the castle. The banners are raised
high, and swirling fruit and sugar and chocolate trumpets (imitates trumpet music)
blare as the sun rises over the castle of the kingdom of Candia. Crisp armor and a neatly pressed cape, the battle pop at his side, we see the lord commander
of the Tartguard stride through the halls of Castle Candy. A new day has begun. And a very important day
indeed for it's the Saint's Day of the princesses. We see, first awake and most vigilant, commander of the
Tartguard and sworn member of the Knights of North-Gumbia. Murf, could you describe
your character for us? - Yes, I am Sir Theobald Gumbar, lord commander of the Tartguard, sworn knight of the Order of North-Gumbia. I protect the king, King Amethar, and also, really everyone in the castle. Sort of a 24-hour a
day job, and I love it. It's not just a job for
me, it's a way of life. No days off, sort of, everyday, (laughing)
just, kind of a thing. Do not trust the chancellor,
but, everyone else, I generally get along with. I am a level three Eldritch Knight. - Strolling down to the centered chamber of the grand staircase
here in the main hall of the primary keep of Castle Candy, you see that another Knight
of North-Gumbia is a, to your cherry, sort of, gummy bear form. Oh yeah, tell us sort of
what you look like too! - Ah yes, so, I'm a heavily
armored gummi bear man, (laughing) with a battle pop, that I guess
looks like a little push pop thing that I can, s'up, pull out. - Your little lollipop shield. And you also have the cape
befitting your station as lord commander. An un-caped but equally
armored gummy bear knight, who's sort of, one of
those like, pineappley, yellowy clear gummy bears, but it has a bright blue armor walks up. And you recognize this as Sir Toby. He comes up to your flank
and goes right in stride with you and says, "My lord commander, "how fair you this morning?" - Well, it's a wonderful Saint's Day. I'm really looking forward to teaching Ruby and Jet
some more responsibility. They're grown women now, so. - The 18th Saint's Day
of the twin princesses. Well, hopefully they shall be
ready for a day of merriment, but also a day of challenging lessons. - Yes, of lessons. You and I. - I love lessons. - Lessons are great. And you know what? I have a feeling, despite every other day that we've spent trying to
teach these young women, I think today is going to be different. - I will, I should imagine so. They are, of this day, women grown. - Exactly. - Quick report sir, we've had some rumors of brigands in the West Cake. But it seems that sirs,
my sarge will ride out with the other Knights
of North-Gumbia today. The Tartguard is ready and able. They've taken to the battlements. Everything seems fine. The town, the township of
Dolcington, all is well. We've had some rumors of, you know, the townsfolk are saying of
an ogre, but, probably, it's, you know, just a, some troublemakers. Maybe a rouge knight of some kind. The queen's champion, Sir Amanda Maylard has been dispatched to
handle that at once. - All right, send some of
our guys to, just you know, just to kind of, equal things out. It's fine if she gets, kind of, the win, but, if she didn't,
that would also be fine. - Ah, well, you know,
obviously a true knight of the Sworn Order of
North-Gumbia wants not for glory. - Of course not!
- [Brennan] Merely to-- - And we don't!
- And we don't! Would be, would be great to get a win. - Would, would be wonderful.
- Would be great to get a win. - Yeah.
- Yes, for sure. And, we've, we've been sort of
partnering with the Tartguard for a while now. You look over and see
some of the Tartguard, who, unlike these sort of,
heavily armored Gumbar Knights, are just huge circle headed tart men. They have these big wobbly heads. Little pantaloons and
like fencing rapiers. They're not heavily armored. You see that two of them are going like, "Quincy, stop it. When you use your fencing
saber on me like that, it tickles so terribly." You see how the other guy
takes his sword and kind of, like tickles the guy on his tummy. - All right, swords, swords at your side while you're inside here,
unless you're gonna do it in a cool way. That's just weird, what your doing. - No, it feels good. - No, I don't like it. You're scratching each others. - No, no! We had our swords blunted so
we could tickle each other. - What, don't tickle
each other, that, banned. Get a new sword. - What?
- You need a real sword! - I'm banned. I am banished from the kingdom! - Yes, you're banned from the kingdom. - I have failed! - Just, that sword is banned. Get a new sword that is sharpened-- - You see that he looks at
the sword like it's poison in his hand, and hurls it
through a stain glass window. - Just, no! - Begone with thee vile sword. I'm so sorry. So you wish for me to
have a pointed sword, so that when I tickle
my friend it hurts him? - I take him back, go
outside, and get that sword. - Can you toss me my sword back? The sword comes through an unbroken window next to the broken one. Second one breaks, swords scatter. - Yes, we really need a win. I mean, just absolutely need a win. - You look out and you see
that the herald of the king, the herald Pancival
Pishpuff comes out and says, "My lord, pleasure to see you. I trust that you are ready
to escort the princesses to their various ceremonies. I'm certain they are being
taken to the, the chapel to receive their communion
with the Great Bowel Passion. - Of course.
- Very well. (imitates trumpet music) Rows of trumpets goes up on either side. Your knights fall in behind you. The Tartguard kind of bumble around and get into position
behind you and your knights. And you see the herald says, "Presenting, their ladyships,
first of their name, "the princesses Jet and Ruby
Rocks of the House of Rocks, "duchesses of Pie-hole and
Gumberly, ladies of the realm!" Crickets. Nobody descends the staircase. Maybe a little bit louder this time? - Yes.
- A little bit louder. (imitates trumpet music) Presenting, their ladyships
and royal highnesses, the princesses Jet and Ruby
Rocks of the House of Rocks, duchesses of Gumberly and
Pie-hole, ladies of the realm! My lord, the princesses are
not coming down the stairs." - They're just getting ready. They're very excited, otherwise they would
definitely be down here. Certainly, I will bend the knee in preparation for them being here. I'm going to do it loudly, and you're gonna hear it. And when you hear it, the princesses are to come down. - You bend the knee. All the knights bend the knee. You hear behind you,
the Tartguards saying, "Quincy, do you suppose
that we're supposed to bend the knee as well
when they bend the knee?" - Bend the knee. - They all bend the knee. You see that the herald looks and says, "My lord commander, perhaps
their morning lesson with the chancellor has simply gone long. You do know that he
tends to ramble when left to his own devices. - Lapain. Perhaps we should interrupt it. - Perhaps, perhaps we should. Cool, do you ask anyone to come with you, from the presentational hall,
with you to go, to go search. - I think, just Toby. - Cool. Toby falls in line behind you. You guys head off. Cool, you guys head off. In the tallest tower, at
the peak of Castle Candy, with the morning sun illuminating through sugar glass windows,
we see piles of tomes, ancient blackboards with sugary chalk made from those old, like, what are, what are those
candies with like the, the really chalky-- - Oh, necco wafers.
- Necco wafers! Little like, necco wafer, yeah,
like, wafery chalk things. We hear the droning
voice of the chancellor, Lapin Cadbury, primogen
of the Bulbian Church and chaplain of Castle Candy. Zac, could you please describe
your character for us? - Yes, I'm Chancellor
Lapin Cadbury, as you said. The chaplain of the Castle Candy and then, primogen of the Bulbian Church, and I'm here to teach these
princesses on all things. I'm the royal tutor, so I'm teaching the, the young princesses about
the kingdom of Calorum. I, I look, I'm a level three Warlock with a celestial patron. And I look like a chocolate
bunny, with, with just like, the foil coming off of it. Like the kinda Easter
colored foil as like, as a cape, and like, my
robes are made of that. And I'm a little stuffy, but, I know that knowing these
things will help the children, and also will grant them a certain power. - Absolutely! This is an important day for lessons. This is the 18th Saint's
Day of the twin princesses. It's a big deal. They are, have come of age today. What sort of lesson do you
think Lapain is teaching, do you think, and their Saint's Day? Is it, is it like, religious in nature. Is it like history? - On their Saint's Day, it seems like, something about their,
specifically about their family, and the royal lineage
in which they come from. - Cool, so you maybe you
might be talking about, like, their aunts, or like the
king, Gerdane, or like, you know, the Ravening War 20 years ago. So, Lapain is droning on
about the history of the war and, you know, battles-- - In the years, the 1102,
we were at war with the, the bread people-- - Give me a, give me a perception check. - 12 plus, oh, perception, 15. - 15. You are droning on. You hear the door click open behind you, and kinda see out of the cor,
like, corner of your eye, Theo and Toby walk into the room. - Chancelor, do they not have a spell that tells you what time it is? - Do you want me to rush the
education of these princesses? Do you want them to be stupid
as they go about the world-- - How dare you? Give me one reason! Give me one reason!
- One reason? One reason to what? - To nothing.
- Lay your hands on me? - Nothing, it's not a threat. - Oh my goodness.
- If I didn't say it. Princesses!
- What a large goon you are. - As you begin to argue, but they give me a perception
check with disadvantage. - Oh no. - Oh.
- Fuck, fuck. I got a two and a four. - I have 10. - 10. Okay, so you guys start
really going at it, and you see Toby-- - You know what I don't like about you? - Oh, I have, I don't,
I couldn't possibly list all the things all the things
I don't like about you. - Oh try. I knew you couldn't. - You could have like three things, and it would take forever. You just droning on forever.
- Ah yes, yes. - My lord, my lord commander, chancellor. If you were to direct your
attention to the princesses. You guys see two stuffed scarecrows in the back of the classroom. - That's the princesses. What? - Are you, they've just
been like this for how long? - Well, they would, I assumed they were wrapped in my lecture.
(Brennan laughs) Obviously-- - They're made of straw chancellor! - Well, who knows how
long they were like that? (laughing) - I just, I look out the window. - Go ahead, look out the window, give me another, give
me a perception check. I'm gonna say, at disadvantage too. - Shit. Oh no, oh my god. Seven. - This is the first time we're gonna start an introduction with a roll. Emily and Siobhan, can you each give me a stealth check with advantage. - Oh my god. - It's gonna be, oh. 24 - A 16. - As you look out, we
peel out from this tower with the chancellor and
two knights looking out of this tall candy tower,
over the rolling hills and the estate. Out in front of Castle
Candy, there's a huge chasm of a moat that goes deep down
into a cola river far below. And then the bridge goes into
a secondary keep outside, and outside of that keep are beautiful rolling hills and estates. A little chapel of the Bulbian
Church underneath the tree. And down below the
castle, is the bustling, sweet town of Dolcington
and a small bridge. And we fly down watching as you, you point away from you
guys as you just stare out looking forlornly for
the absent princesses. There's two scarecrows stuffed with, with sugar grass straw. And sprinting over the
bridge in peasant garb, we see the princesses Jet and
Ruby of the House of Rocks! Kindly describe your characters
if you'll be so kind. - Okay, I am Princess Jet Rocks, reluctant future heir to the throne. And--
- By two minutes. - God willing, future
abdicator of the throne. I'm wearing, like, sort of,
all black peasants' garb. I basically, I basically
believe that my destiny was to be a great warrior, and I'm cursed to have been
born in a time of peace. So I've got some, like, white chocolate war paint on my cheeks. I've like, whittled down a
candy cane to use as a weapon. And I'm a charging to Dolcington. - I'm Ruby Rocks. I'm a circus apprentice. That's like, my big thing right now. Like, the royal stuff is
like, really secondary to me. It's just like, I was born into it. It's not really very interesting to me, but circus is my passion. And this one is gonna stick. Yes, I've had other crazes before, but this is the real thing. I'm occasionally doing back
flips as we're running away, just to keep it-- - Oh, yes, that's a good point. I have one of those book
straps full of like, cool like, illegal tomes about all the
other places in Calorum, and I'm sorta using it like
a, like a ball and chain to just like, hit any
royal crest that I see. And just, a little bit
of property destruction, on my way. - So you're just openly
destroying property. - Just casually.
- Just casually. As you do so, you see that
a couple, there's like, a sort of peasant farmer with
like, a yoke full of cola and two buckets walking along. You see he's got like, a jaw
breaker horse coming with him. You see he's--
- Oh, I take off, I probably have some kind
of like, really fancy like, gem or something, right? - Yeah. - I take it off and I, and
I flick it to the peasant and to his cola bucket. - It goes, ponk, and he says, "Oh thee, looks like the
princesses have escaped again." He continues, he says, "We'll put it in the gem
pile when we get back to the farm!" You see that the peasant walks along, you guys sprint into the town. As you get over to, one of this like, beautiful public house that
is called the Mint Drake. You see that, waiting under
an, it's one of those like, you know, the architecture
of Candia is so, it's almost like old like, Bavarian. There's like this big tall
alpine looking cottages. The inn has like, a
second floor that's like, wider than the first
floor, like some, you know. And hanging under the swinging sign, you see that there is this little, she's wearing like, trousers
and like, seven league boots, and like a little courier
thing, that marks her as like, not nobility, but
neither is she a peasant. She's got like, deep warm brown, speckled with bright red freckles, like, skin with like, long pigtails of red. She's like a little gingersnap girl. She's maybe like, a year younger than you, and she has a bag marked
with imperial crest on it, as an imperial courier. See, she says, "Your ma, your
Highnesses, your hi, I mean, your nor, your Normalnesses.
I've got it right here." And you see, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a letter for you
and a like, notice for you, and hands them to you. I got them here as fast as I could. Did you get my missive in the castle? - Yeah, no--
- I think Ruby did. - Yeah.
- You see she says, all right, she says, well, "That's the only thing I could find on the Traveling Swirler Sisters." And you see that it is a
notice of like, a circus coming to town, in the, in the very near future. You have a letter that smells
of sweet fruit, marked-- - Ah, fad. - You see that indeed. You open the letter, and it is
marked to, "her beautiful and radiant highness, the Princess
Jet of the House of Rocks. Though it has been more
than 10 years since we met, even as just children, news
of your beauty brought to me by our couriers, has reached my eyes. I long to see you once again princess Jet. Here, in the kingdom of Fructera, life is but a pale shadow
of what it could be, if your sweet radiance
could but grace my life." - Even though I am a
piece of black licorice, a strong blush comes to my cheeks. Now that's a Saint's Day. (laughing) - You see that the
letter continues to say, "I have prayed and prayed
to the great Bulb above, each day and night, that fortune might see
our paths cross again. And it seems that the Bulb
may have heard my prayers. I dare not write these words
here, but I know that soon, there may yet be a
travel from Castle Candy to the great city of Comida
at the borders or Fructera. This may mark yet our only
chance to be together once more. - Ruby, are you down for a road trip. - Yeah, duh. - Okay. - Wait, let me read this letter. Oh my god!
- It's from that super hot avocado.
(laughing) - Can't get the (mumbles). - Yeah, but we were
eight too, so it wasn't-- - Right-- (crosstalk) - Yeah.
- Yeah, sure. - He wants to meet up. - Great, yeah, no lets do it.
- All we have to do is, just infiltrate a travel
that's going to Comida. - Easy. - And then find a nice little haystack where me and Thad can, I don't know, like, maybe he can show me his pit, you know. - Gross, yeah, no, let's do it. - Serenda, Serenda looks and says, "My ladies, is it really, should I deliver anything in return, or was there any message
you would bid me give him? Oh that, I don't. How did it come off without
you taking your pants off?" - They, they're rip off edible underwear. - I mean, everything's edible.
- Everything's edible. - It's not unusual.
- Yeah. - Now that's a mindset. - She takes, she takes it
and stows it away and says, "Should I tell him like, from you, like, how are you doing?" - Oh he'll know. - Well, as always, it's
lovely to bring you word of the outside world. And a happy, happy
Saint's Day to you both. - Thank you.
- Thank you. - I would never peek, but, you, you just said that you're going to Comida? Do you know a, what sort
of convoy or caravan that would be dispatched
from Castle Candy to Comida? - I don't know.
- I don't know. - [Jet] What do you think?
- Yeah, I've-- - You know what? I'm
just going to be really, really sweet to Theobald today-- - Oh my god, I love
being sweet to Theobald. - And then maybe I can
milk some intel out of him. - He's so easy to milk when you're tweaking him.
- He's such a-- - [Brennan] Both of you guys--
- Thirsty man. - So thirsty. Thirsty, but like, for friendship. - Or like, he wants to
notice that you respect him. - Yeah, yeah.
- Which is the sign-- - Thirsty for respect.
- Of respect. That's what it is. - Theobald and Lapain can
give me investigation checks with advantage. - God dammit. It's another one, 10 - Nine. - I'm gonna roll for Toby. Okay, that's a 15, Jesus. - I think they're gone. - You've finally done
it this time chancellor. - I didn't.
- [Theobald] You lost them. - As you guys rush down into
Dolcington, you see that, as your like, looking
around, you see Toby goes, "My lord commander, perhaps we should simply
follow the smashed royal seals? You notice this huge--" - Not the, yes. Clearly, someone else, not the princesses, cause they would never do that. They would never do that! But, yes, let's follow
the path of destruction. - You guys round the corner,
and you guys are immediately on top of Serinda and the
two princesses, next to the, next to the Mint Drake. - There they are. - Okay, happy Saint's Day. You're in trouble, you're both
grounded, get in the tower. - Ah yes, Theobald,
whatever you require of me. - Yes, oh, we would love
to be grounded by you. Yes Theobald. - Can I do an insight check? - Yeah, go ahead, do an insight check. - Oh my god. - Oh, ground me Theobald. - 18. - 18. Yeah, they're, hiding something for the-- - What did you, what are you hiding? - You know, Theobald, now
that I am a grown woman-- - Yes. - As had been said
multiple times to me today, I believe that, I've, I'm ready put our petty differences aside. I know, in the past, I have asked you to teach me how to fight. You've repeatedly denied me, because, I'm probably some sort of innate fear that I'll will take your position, but I'm ready to put it all--
- She's good, I've seen her. - behind. - And she's an amazing circus performer. - Thank you.
- She, it, it looks like she belongs in the sky. - I do belong in the sky. - You do belong in the sky
- You belong in the castle. We all belong in the castle. Let's go to the castle. - I belong in the battlefield. She belongs in the sky.
- Yeah. I don't understand why
it's so hard for you. Wow, we did a really bad
job of buttering him up. - Yes. - Oh, right, yeah, I forgot about that. I hug him. - We said that in twin-speak. - Yeah, that's true. - I don't know what kind of
trick you're trying to play, but allow me to play along
so that we may all go back to the castle. Yes, we're all in agreement. - Yes, we're all in agreement. - Well good, we have
great relationships here. - Wonderful.
- Let's go back. - Being grounded on our Saint's Day. - You see that Toby says, "My lord, should we take
them to the queen at once?" - Yes, I, I think we should. - We have to make up about
an hour and half of lessons. When should be, when is-- - You can actually do
lessons with me instead. - Yeah, we'll do that. We would like that--
- Oh yes. - We would like lessons with you sometime. That would be so fun. Can you teach me a killing blow? - Yes, I would like to know killing blow. - What about a stunning blow, huh? Ah, you're 18. We'll do a killing blow. - Go ahead, and each of you
guys give me an insight check, if you'd be so kind. - Nat 20. - You know that if you
get taken to your mom, you guys are fucked. - Oh.
- So, Theobald, actually, I have some questions about the nobility. - That is very true. You know what? If I'm gonna learn, I just can't learn and walk at the same time. - No.
- It's just, two different parts of my brain. - Yeah
- I'll just plop down here and you can just, I don't know, perhaps Lapain could teach
us all about the nobility. - I start carrying Jet. I just fucking-- - You guys head up, head up the-- - The nobility is made up of-- - Why did you do that? - You guys being to head
up, back through the fields, across the bridge to the
cola river to Castle Candy. And as you guys arrive there, we move up through the bright pink and fuchsia and purple
grasses swaying in the wind. The lovely peppermint
trees moving in the breeze. And we arrive near the
chapel, a deep and open room with tall windows, deep
in the center keep. It echoes as the hard
candy stone underneath, hears the tap of footsteps. We see a room dominated
by four massive statues. The statues are four royal women. There is, and the face of
the north side of this large, sort of, chapel, reflective,
sort of quiet and somber room. There is a statue of, made
of a deep chocolate stone, like, almost like a
tootsie pop kinda thing, of a lightly armored, older woman. Circlet, like a royal circlet on her brow, holding a rapier, like a
fencing sword in her hand. And a long cape, and underneath reads, General Ricoco of the House of Rocks. To the east, is like a bright
yellow candy stone statue, each of these statues
is like 20 feet tall... Of a pious looking woman who
holds a circlet on her belt, she does not wear it on her head, but holds the rest of it on her belt. And you see it says, Saint
Citrina underneath that. In the west, there is this
like, deep dark, purplish blue, like veined through with
lighter blue statue, the Archmage Lazuli. And you see, holding a
book open in her hands, the circlet on her brow. Is a royal looking woman, in
like, long wizardly robes. And then in the south, made
of completely transparent, like light blue candy stone,
is the princess, Saffria. Standing in this hall of statues, this room that is otherwise very sparse, with just the golden
light of the Bulb coming in through the windows, we
see alone, a tall figure. Lou, would you please
describe your character. - Yeah, I'm King Amethar Rocks. I am, you know, big, tall, seven foot, like a, pop rock candy man. You know, I'm a Storm-Herald
Barbarian, level three. I've, I've got a, you know, this is all, so much just jumbles of information. I've got a green pop rock
candy beard, and all of the, in my opinion, unnecessary accoutrements of the king of Candia,
which I am, for some reason. (laughing) - Wonderful. Ah, I forgot
to mention, by the way. You guys are both first level rouges. - Oh yes.
- Oh yes. - Self taught. - [Brennan] Self taught.
- Self taught. - Because these idiots won't
teach us anything useful. - No, but the shadows will teach us. - Amethar stands in this room. You have not yet seen your daughters, but you know that today,
they are women grown, and haven't fully inherited their titles, princesses of Candia, and
duchesses, ladies of the realm. What's Amethar doing,
alone in this chapel? - I think, speaking out
loud to his sisters. Yes, the, it's the
girls' 18th Saint's day. It's really exciting. I think you guys would
like each other a lot. They're, they're real special. They, they take a lot after you guys. You know, it's hard enough
being a father and a king. You guys would've been so good at this. I'm just not, I'm not cut out for this. - You hear a tap of feet approaching. - I missed you every day. Who, who's here? - You see, walking around the
corner, you see your, sort of, right hand, and like, sort of like, master of state will say, Calroy, walks around, the
marquis of Muffinfield, who looks like, just a
giant slice of cake with, through eyes on the top,
kind of pitched forward, little stripped pantaloons
and a little saber. He walks forward and says, "Your majesty, I'm sorry to disturb." - Yeah, no, yeah, I was
just, I was just hanging out. What's up Cal? - Her majesty, the queen
is, less than chuffed. She, the princesses, according to the report, the princesses managed
to get two scarecrows, stuffed them with sugar grass, and dressed them in their clothes, and hoodwinked Chancellor Lapain, and disappeared during their-- - That's awesome. That's awesome. Wait, and he just didn't notice? - He was apparently 90
minutes into the lesson-- - Well, who's so smart now. Yeah, you show him Jet. Oh, come on Ruby. Ah, hell yes. Oh, I love that.
- [Brennan] You see-- - I love that. - I thought you might. The queen also thought you might, and, basically asked that you
and her get on the same page about what the appropriate
punishment would be. - A punishment. - That's her words, not mine. - All right, yeah, we'll,
let's, I'm done here, let's go. - You see, he looks down and
sees two cases finely wrought of like, marbled candystone
that have been pulled from the armory next to you. You see, he looks at them,
points at them and says, "Planning on hunting sir?" - It's for the girls. - Their Saint's Day.
- Saint's Day. It just feels, feels appropriate. - You see that he walks
along with you and says, well, everything looks prepared and lovely for the Saint's Day. Festivities are ready. - Great, great. - We... I should let you know now,
the queen's already read it, but a message came in
from Comida for today. - Okay, is it just like,
what these tell us, they need more taxes or something? What's the-- - No, that would come from a,
normal imperial sealed letter. This had the seal of the emperor. - So what's that mean? - Your old friend Gustavo has sent you-- - [Lou] Okay.
- A letter. You see that, Calroy looks up
at the statues here and says, "I couldn't help but
overhear, your majesty, what you were saying, and--" - Yeah, that was, that
was just me mumbling. - He looks up and says, "This will be the 20th year since the end of the Ravening War, and the
creation of the Concord." - So, what's that mean? - I'm just, we saw a lot 20 years ago. - Oh, yeah.
- I, you see, he looks up at the statues and says, and you see, he gets on
one knee and makes a motion to the four statues and says, "Your sisters were the, some of the greatest heroes
Candia has ever known." - The greatest heroes. - The greatest heroes. And you see he says, "And also, your majesty, Candia is stronger than it's ever been. And, that is, due in part
to you and your rulership of this land and kingdom. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know
you have to say that, but... - I don't have, hey, this is-- - I'm the king. You have to say nice things to me. Be honest! - You see, he leans in and says, "I was with you, in the muck,
in the tents, in the trenches. We've seen each other
piss and shit in pots, in dark fields under torchlight. We fought and bled together. I am saying this as your
friend, you are a good king. - Thanks Cal. - All right, well, your Majesty. - Will you carry one of these? - Yeah, I'll grab one. - I just remembered that this
is a piece of cake with eyes. (laughing) - I took a shit next to you. - Frosting came leaking
out my very cubed asshole. (crosstalk) - Cool, you walk out... As you walk out, you
see the doors swing open from the chapel, and you
see the stairs leading up to the queen's quarters. We're gonna cut back to
you guys coming up through, coming up through back way to the castle. Anyone who want's to make a
survival or investigation check? - Oh god.
- Oh, I got a nat one. - Investigation is, 17! - 17. You see a little note
that is left on the side of the path that is written
on a piece of bark, in like, crazy, like woods-mans scratch. And it says, you pick it up, it says, "Dear Sir Theobald, I've gone to the woods to collect seeds. Please know that I am
not trying to escape, but I might be gone for a little while. Also, Preston is hungry." - Hey, I think Liam
might've also snuck away. So maybe if I don't
show Theobald this note, Liam will take the heat. - I love it. - As you say maybe Liam will take the heat and hide the note, we see up, is sort of the jagged
crystalline mountains. The forest begins to
spread out through here. Deep in a peppermint
forest, scrounging around in the undergrowth, we see a
young boy made of peppermint, with a little hunter's cap and
a big pack of camping things, being pursued by a tiny
little peppermint piglet. Ally, could you please
describe your character? - Absolutely. Hi, I'm Liam Wilhelmina. I am a, a level two Candycane Ranger. I'm currently on my hands and knees, looking for interesting seeds. Yeah, anyway, my dad is Duke Jawbreaker. There was, like a falling
out, I, I spend most of my life, just kinda in the mountains. I've never been to a
castle like this before. This is a new move. I'm here as a prisoner, I'm sorry, a ward, we're calling it a ward. I kind of feel like I'm on vacation with someone else's family,
and they didn't show up. I'm just kinda in the
mix, but I do have my pig. I have a tiny piglet named Preston. He's a peppermint pig. He's really good, he finds rare seeds. It's so sick, he found this seed once, we cracked it open,
there was a candy cane. It was full of candy cane. That was, that was a good,
that was the best day I've had in Candia so far. I kinda miss my dad. I definitely don't miss my brothers. Fuck them. But, yeah, it is, yeah,
this is gonna work out. - You hear snuffling along
your feet, as you're like, you're sort of in the forest, where you feel a little bit more yourself. You hear, (imitates pig oinking). And you see that Peppermint Preston, I'm gonna roll to see how
well Peppermint Preston does on his little investigation. Peppermint Preston does not do too well, in his investigation.
- Hey man, don't I thought that was a seed too. (imitates pig oinking) No, don't worry about it. Hey, look, we just gotta, we keep finding these candy cane seeds, but we're gonna find something cooler. - [Brennan] Go ahead and
give me a nature check. - Oh, sure sure. Let me see, oh yeah baby,
we got a lot of nature. But will it be enough? That's an eight. - What's your bonus to nature? - I'm a plus five to nature. - Cool.
- I rolled a three. - Cool, cool, cool. You look over and you see there's a little glowing
thing over in this grotto that you really haven't
traipsed in before. - Hell yeah. - You just go over there
with Peppermint Preston. As you get there, you, I'm gonna
ask you to roll initiative. - Yeah! - That's a seven. Oh no, sorry, that's a, let me see-- - Do you have-- - You have plus four.
- You have plus four. - And you have advantage. You're a Ranger.
- Oh hell yeah, thank god. - Yeah, that's a 14. - Actually, 14 is high enough. - Hell yeah. - You, as you're there,
you suddenly see that, that glowing thing is not natural. It a little like lantern
that's been put there. And you suddenly hear two
people rushing for you. - I pull out my bow. - Turn around, and you whip
around with your crossbow-- - Hey! - Yeah, you're like, woodland attention, and you see that Preston,
like, jumps in front of you and spreads his little
hooves out and goes, (imitates pig oinking) You see that two dirty,
ragged looking urchins from Dolsington, both around your age, go, "Easy does it, easy does it." These guys, you recognize
as Wappens and Paz. - Cool. - They're, one of them's sort of like, a malted milk-ball looking kind of kid. And the other one's like a,
a little like, he's made, he looks like his body is
made of component parts of like, tick tacky,
or like other, kind of, like hard candies together. You see that Wappens goes, "Easy does it, easy does it Wilhelmina. Ah, you can't get the jump
on this one, can you?" - You definitely can't. How are you? - Ah, we were, we thought we
would try and rustle you up and give you a little rub on the noggin. - Look, I've been terrorized by older brothers my entire life. There's nothing you can do to break me. - Well, speaking of older brothers, (hocks a loogie) look what we got. And he reaches a hand
down in front of his pants and pulls a crumpled up piece
of parchment, unfurls it, and you see, there's like
a cipher scratched writing from one of your brothers. - Fuck. - You read it, and it says-- - I grab, have they read it? Can they read it? - Oh, they can't read it.
- Okay, cool, I grab it. - So they say, "What's it say?" And you see that Paz goes, "Sir, how does they make the... Noise turn into shapes?" - Look man, I'm, I'm
just like you guys, okay. I didn't have some fancy
education like everybody in this fucking castle. It's, you're not missing out on much. Honestly, I would rather
someone just talk to me. I read the, I'm trying
to read the letter, like. - You read it, like covertly. Go ahead and give me a, just a, like a raw intelligence check. - Cool. Hey, 15.
- Cool. You're able to do it without
them really noticing too much. The letter basically
says, like, it says, like, "Whats-up little mint?" (crosstalk) - It's from Grash.
- From Grash, your brother Grash, hell yeah. As you read the letter
from your brother Grash, you see it says, "Rumor has it that, very
soon, there will be movement on the part of the king of Candia, the false son of the alliance breaker, He Who Cannot Keep His Oaths. Remember, you are a prisoner
of our hateful cousins, who sought to destroy our family's honor, and the honor of the name Jawbreaker. You were chosen to be ward, not us. Otherwise, we would have plunged a dagger into the king's heart already. See that you do your family proud, or the beating coming your
way will be legendary." - I feed the letter to Preston. - I want to touch-- - He's so soft, and
he's cool to the touch. So if you're hot, you just drap him over the back of your neck while walking. - Does he have just a
little bit of fuzz to him? - Oh, stupid brothers. Just an inside joke. - If I kill Peppermint Preston, you're not allowed to get mad at me. - (laughs) You will never
kill Peppermint Preston, you hear me. - If you kill Peppermint Preston, we're walking off this set. - I didn't, don't allow pets in your game! Cool, so, you, Peppermint
Preston is very full. You see, like, he jumps up into your arms and goes immediately to sleep. And you see that Wappens and
Paz look over at you and say, "Sir, how's life living in the castle. You know, you're highborn, but, you ain't free like us are you. - Yeah, no, you're right. It sucks. Pretty much, I sit around,
people rush past me a lot. I don't know where they go. But everyone is always in a rush. And, I've started counting
how many times Lapain sounds like an egg. - Just like an egg. - I have, I don't know
very much about eggs, but, it just seems like he's very egg like. - You see that... As you are standing there,
sort of making noise in the, in the glade... You hear a, a noise of someone traipsing, and just tumbling down aside, and you see that a very put upon squire, who you recognize as an
attendant to the two princesses, and also a squire studying
under Sir Theobald, shows up. This miserable looking, sort of like, lemon cough-drop squire
shows up, and he goes, tumbles down the hillside and goes, "I know, oh there you are, Count Liam. Listen, there's an awful
ruckus in the castle. They've sent me to go. You don't know where the
princesses are, do you? - No, are they gone? Did everyone get my note? I let everyone know that I
wasn't like, running away, right? I set up a lot of alarms to
let Theo know where I was. - No, no such notes have
been found I'm afraid. - Shoot.
- It looks like you might be in for a punishment of some sort. I don't know what they can do to you. If it was me, it would
be 40 lashes, I know it. - What! - Or I'd be kicked down the stairs. - That's horrible! Who does that to you? - Ah, everyone. Sometimes I get scared
they're gonna do it, so I do it meself. - That's, dark. That's a new level of darkness. - Sometimes they try to trick me, you know they come up and they say, "Limond, no one wants to
kick you down the stairs. Please stop throwing
yourself down the stairs. Nobody wants it." And then I say, "Oh that's right, and lull me they is, into a false sense of security." - This sounds, it sounds like
self inflicted punishment. - If it, if it is, it ain't
nothing I don't deserve. - Okay, I say bye to my
friends, bye Paz, bye guys. I gotta go back up. There's really only one real
person in the entire castle. Real working class gummy bear, and, I really like to let him
know where I'm gonna be at all times. - I, Sir Theobald is a good man he is. He's good, he never
boxes my ears or nothing. Not like those boys. They box my ears all the time. - Oh, yeah. - If I go into town, they find me, and they put my, pans
and such over my head and take my weapons and
throw them in the river. - Wow, that's, I, you might be the saddest person
I've ever met, in my life. And I thought I was pretty sad. - Well, if my being sad
has made you feel better, then I guess I've done
me job then, haven't I? - Yeah, yeah man, I, can I, I think I, like
set some alarms and stuff. Can I have them all go off
in like, Theo's, like, head. - Yes, you see little, like, alarms and bells go off from Preston. They like, they, in other
words, like, Liam is returning. - Okay. - As you, you return, you see
that Limond keeps going like, "Well, you know, that is the trick is it. You being a peppermint lord and all, you're mad of real good candy. It's just my luck to be a cough drop. The only kind of candy that's medicinal." - Hey, I'm gonna head back to the castle. We can go back together, or
maybe I'll just go separate-- - Cause you don't want my company. - No, I just, no, it's just you, you, you shout everything
you say and it's also sad. - Am I being too loud me lord! - It's just very in your face. I'm just gonna take-- I'm out in nature to kind of calm my head. - Okay, he throws himself down a hill. - No, no way! Honestly, okay, to each their own path. I need to focus on myself. I take Preston, who's like,
so heavy in his sleep, I take him back to the castle. - What does he dream of? - I know, seeds. - He dreams of seeds. - You see that, as he
dreams, as he dreams, you actually go a separate
way through the woods that you've gone before. And as he dreams, you hear
a faint tinkling of chimes, as little sugar plum
visions dance in his head. And you see a little glade
of purple standing stones covered in runes, like tall plinths, or like, mini or stones, made of this sort of
sugar crusted plumb stone. And you see that a small little teacup that's been left from
some kind of ceremony. You recognize this as
one of the old glades of, of the Sweetening Path,
which is not the Bulbian Church. There's a lot of these
where you come from, but you haven't seen one
here in the south yet. - Cool, can I investigate,
or do something with it? - Yeah, do a little investigation, give me a little survival check. - Love it.
- Not a big one, a little one. - A little one. Nat one. - You shatter the teacup and-- - No, fuck, oh god, ah, oh god. I run. - You sprint. We follow Liam's trail
through the peppermint woods, back to Castle Candy,
carrying the sleeping Preston in your arms. And we cut to the gates opening,
big, high battlement walls. Marching through the central
courtyard are Sir Theo, his right hand man, Sir
Toby, the princesses, Chancellor Lapain. And as you guys are marching
through the main gate opens into the central keep,
and as you're marching, you suddenly see the herald
look at you as the ring of trumpets blares and you hear
him in the middle of going, "Presenting his royal
majesty, King Amethar of the House of Rocks, first of his name, sovereign ruler of Candia
and the Sugarlands, Duke of Cookieshire,
protector of the realm, defender of the faith,
bannerman of the battle of Gumdrop Pass, and
hero of Frosting Valley!" And it's just you walking
out of a little side door. - Oh, oh hey. - My lord. - Hey pops.
- Hey pops. - Girl's, what's going on. - We ran away again.
- We ran away. - It's fine mate. - The chancellor bowed very deeply. - I try to bow deeper. Lower. - Hey, don't, don't touch
the floor, all right. That's, that's nasty. I, I heard you all pulled
one over on on Lapain. - Yeah, we did the old
strawman that you taught us. - Ah, that's a good one. - It's a, very, very
good. It worked so well. - I mean, it always works. I mean, you just talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk. - Next time I'm gonna it
until I pretend that I fell out a window and really
fucking freak him out. - Yay! - King Amethar-- - Yeah, yeah? - I, I know, usually, when the
girls do something like this, we kind of just laugh it
off, but perhaps today, now that they're
- Because it's our birthday! - [Theobald] Grown-- - We should be celebrated for it. - Oh, interesting. Or, if we, if penance is required, I've actually come up with
some pretty brutal penance that I think that I would
really not enjoy, which is-- - Oh no, don't say it.
- I think I should be sent on the diplomatic mission to Comida. - That would probably give
us a lot of responsibility. - Yeah. - I'm sorry, you're asking me to send my, my two 18 year old daughters
on a diplomatic mission. That's a, that's a bad idea? - That seems to me, like a very bad idea. - Okay, I think that's a bad idea. I actually-- No, don't cry. Don't cry. You know I, I can't. - Should we get the queen my lord? - Yeah, we should get the queen, - Get the queen.
- Because otherwise, this is 100 percent gonna slide. - You guys are going to
be watching the gate. As you do, you see that Liam
walks in holding Preston-- - I'm here. - Wow, Liam ran away. - Wow. - Yeah, I tried to leave a note, but, notes get lost, it happens. - I appreciate the ping Master Liam. Gave me a ping. - Yeah.
- You, you all could learn something from Liam. - All right, in the future,
I'll give you a ping. - But again, remember, big notes that the girls
can't steal from me. Big notes. - I flick Theo's armor and go, ping. - Very funny. - Let's go Ruby.
- That's hilarious. - Ping.
- Yes, we're 18, and we're making these jokes. Ping, very funny. Everyone's hilarious here. - Maybe now that I'm 18 though, it's, it's time that we had an
apartment in Dolcington. - Oh, I think that would be a great idea. Learn some respect--
- We have so much room in this castle. - Just a three room bedroom. - Anyone out there wants to live in here. Why do you want to live out there? - Just to, experience the world. - How can we rule these people if we don't know how they live? - That's a very good point.
- And by we, I meant Jet. - That is a very good point.
- Because I am still going to the circus. Because there's no point in me being here. We don't need two of us. - Okay, we need to go talk
to the queen before I start, just kind of, making bad decisions-- - Before Princess Ruby joins the circus, let's talk to the queen. - I'm afraid the queen
has already arrived. You hear the herald go, "Presenting the Queen,
Caramelinda of the House of Rocks, ruler of Candia and the
Sugarlands, countess of Meringue, keeper of Castle Candy,
and Heart of the Realm." - Hey, you gotta slow down
or you're gonna pass out. - It's a lot to get out.
- [Lou] Yeah. - Chancellor bows very, very deeply. - I bow even deeper.
- Oh, no, no, no, no. - You guys see resplendent
regal in her queenly gown, crown upon her head, long caramel hair, is your mother, the queen. - I cast prestidigitation, which
is the spell that I learned when the last circus came
around, from the circus master, just to clean us both up, because I know that we
will get in trouble. - You see that your mother
looks at you and says, "Ah, little bit of a cantrip
to clean yourself up. Why? Were you dirty?" - No mother, I just wanted to make sure-- - How could you have become so dirty in your tower, taking your lessons? - I just wanted to, on our Saint's Day, to make sure that you,
that we were extra clean. - I'm dirty because I've been preparing. I know now that I'm 18, I'll likely be taking Theobald's spot as the head of the army. - Yes, I think that we'll, our work-- - I was doing some combat rolls. - You see that you mother
looks at you and says, "You would like to be head of the army? Is that why you've been so
present at your history classes, learning the tactics of the Ravening War? You know, your father and your aunts, and all the other members of
your family fought in that war. And their exploits are a
matter of public record. The history of them is there, but I don't suppose you
would've attended any of Chancellor Lapain's history classes? Is that right chancellor?" - It is, your, your majesty,
slightly complicated. They were there in their physical forms that looked a lot like them were there-- - You were bamboozled by scarecrows. - Bamboozled by scarecrows. - Mother, is it my fault if I prefer to learn the history
of war from my father, who was actually there, rather than this bunny who
knows nothing but scribbling-- - You will hold your tongue young lady! You will refer to Chancellor Lapain, a primogen of the church,
by his name respectfully. - Okay.
- I'm behind mothers back, to Jet, and just. - Stop, stop trying to make me laugh Ruby. I'm gonna laugh Ruby. I'm gonna get in fucking trouble. - Hey--
- Are you laughing at me? - I mean, it's their Saint's Day. I mean we, we could, we could
let just a little bit slide, you know, so everyone's having a good-- - Do you want to petition
me to let this slide in front of them, or should we have this
conversation privately to present a united front. - Oh yeah, we're supposed to present, we're supposed to do
the united front thing. We can talk. - What a way to kick off
our Saint's Day, huh? - Yeah. - Does anyone know what this seed is? - It's a seed. - Master Liam, I've gotta
ask, what's with the seeds? I really, just the seeds-- - I, I hand him the seed and
then I druid craft it to bloom. - Oh, it's a nice seed. - A little like, peppermint flower blooms. You see that, your mother looks and says, "Well, I understand that
you had fun this morning, skipping your lesson. So, what we'll do is, you two girls can miss
the first 90 minutes of your feast tonight, to complete the lesson that you missed with Chancellor Lepain." - Oh, come on. - You two women! - Everyone else is calling us grown women. - When I see-- - And you know what grown women have? And apartment in Dolcington.
- Yes. - A three bedroom.
- Three bedroom. - What's the third bedroom for? - My queen, I think I would be there to protect the princesses. - [Brennan] No Sir Theobald, I would not-- (crosstalk)
- Guest bedroom. - I'm just saying, in a
theoretical situation, where they had to have
their own apartments-- - It would be my fondest wish
to behold two women grown! I have yet to behold such a thing. What I see are petulant, rude, obnoxious, ill behaved, children. Now that didn't have to happen in front of all of our
servants and warriors at arms, but it did. Because you had to make
fools of yourselves. Now, I understand that you
have some studying ahead of you today. So why don't you see to it? Amethar, perhaps you would like to instruct them in some
history of the Ravening War if they are in fact so
interested in that topic. Some extra studying
today seems worthwhile. I'll be waiting for you,
10 minutes hence, upstairs, because we have some
royal business to discuss. Liam, would you like
to take a walk with me? - Yeah, totally. - Very well. - Wake up. - You see that, the queen
holds out and takes, offers her hand to you. - I hold it. - She walks away with you. What do you guys do as
Caramelinda and Liam walk away. - Well...
- I mean you... - We, we... - We're gonna do a lecture. - I don't want to get
you in trouble with mom. - No, yeah,
- [Jet] So let's do a lesson. - That's why, we're gonna do
a lesson, the three of us. You two-- - Should I be-- - No, no. - I, still a family thing. We're gonna have a family lesson. - You see that Lord
Cruller, Calroy Cruller, your dad's, sort of, master of
state, looks around and says, "Well, listen. There's more of us than the queen, so if we all get in trouble
at the same time, then it, kind of just, all shakes out. So,--
- Like a coup? - I don't like getting in trouble. - We can't coup, he's the king. - Yeah, I'm the king.
- We can coup the queen. - That's technically correct. I don't think the king can perform a coup. - The king can coup the queen. - Are you saying that the king can't coup? - I don't think the king can coup. What if we just--
(crosstalk) Hear me out. What if we listen to everything the queen said.
- If the king and queen were in cahoots over a
coup, then that coup could, could happen against the king. - Okay! Enough of this, the
coup'ing and the who'ing. - Now a count can coup. - Okay.
- Ah yes. The count can coup.
- What makes a coup true? - Well a true coup is what a count can do against the king and queen. - All right, you know
what, girls, let's go. We'll leave these three gentlemen to figure out the nature of a coup, and who can do the coup. Ah, you got me doing it, let's go! - Cool.
- Maybe we can do a fighting lesson. - Yes, if you could
teach us how to block-- - Yeah, we'll do something like that. - I would like to learn a killing blow. - Yes, I would like to
learn a killing blow. - Okay, yeah, I'll learn,
I like that you want to learn killing blow. We'll figure something out. - You can actually walk out to
the, to the training fields. These other knights, members
of the Tartguard here, the Tartguard, what they'll say, "And a happy Saint's Day
to the lovely princesses." - I throw them gems. - We don't spend our money! They sort of dance away. And, you see, that, yeah, you walk out to, like the archery and like, training field with your two daughters. - Hoo, that was a lot. - That was a lot.
- That's really a lot. - That last part was
scary, like even for me-- - Yeah, I know, I know.
- I'm know I'm like, the king, I was like, ho, I, I need to shut up. But, hey, it's your Saint's Day. And you're special. And, you should feel special, okay. - We do feel special, we do. - Good, all right.
- You always make sure of that. - Good, I mean, because
you are, all right. And then, do you still have that, you still got that candy
cane that you whittled. - Yep. I lick it so it's even sharper. - And, that is-- - I try and stab a bug,
and it doesn't work. - Yeah, okay, well, yeah,
it's because you're trying to use a candy cane as a sword, right? - Yeah.
- All right, can I see that? - Yeah. - I take it. I snap it over my knee. This isn't a sword, all right. You need a proper sword. I take one of the boxes, and I open it... This belonged to your aunt. General Rioco.
- General Ricoco? - This is the Twizzling Blade. What you've got there, it was hers, and boy did she know how to use it. And you will too. - Thank you pops! I wrap my licorice body around him. - Yeah, yeah. Use it well. - Okay, and now I start going
after anything I can see. - This sword is incredible. It's this long, thin,
pointed, licorice blade, and it (imitates swords
swishing) just like, it is so bendy, it like whips around as you're fighting with it. You see that the herald
looks around and sees Amethar getting misty eyed, and
you see, you see he goes, "All shall cry if the king cries! Cry at once!" - All right, we don't
need to make a big deal that I'm crying, all right! - I'll give you something to cry about. - You see that the Tartguard
starts slugging each other in the stomachs to make themselves cry. - Okay, honestly, I saw those guys just throwing
swords out windows earlier. That's fine. They can punch each other all they want. - Pops, this is the greatest
gift I've ever gotten. - All right, well, you
deserve it, all right. And, Ruby? You know, I see you
doing stuff with magic, reminds me a lot of Laz. Let me give you, this
was her bow, Sourscratch. You, it's very powerful. Very magical. - You look so good. - You look so good. - An intense, like, poison
green, sugar crystal, spiky bow, it's like awesome
magical looking short-bow appears in your hands,
and you see that like, as you go to put your
fingers on the string, a scintillating line
of green light appears, and an arrow produces on the bow as you put your fingers on it. - This is so cool. - No, no, no, be careful
with these things all right. They're very, very powerful,
magical properties and such. - I will guard it with my life. - Yeah.
- All my life, I've been waiting for something worthy, and today, I feel as
though I found two things. - What's the second one?
- What's the other one? - The avocado.
- Right. - Wait, what's the second one? - I was just like,
casually, maybe betrothed. - I'm sorry, what, okay what? - We'll get into it later,
we'll get into it later. I don't want to jinx it. - Ah, yeah, fine, yeah, let's not jinx it. - We cut over to Liam walking
with queen Caramelinda, and you see that the-- - I'm just holding hands. - You see that she says, "Liam? How are you doing? Are you all right, you're well fed?" - Totally. - Good. I know that your stay here is a result of, political machinations
that you never asked for, and you did nothing to deserve. I, would hate for your
time here, as our ward, to be anything other than comfortable. And that you should be happy. And that, knowing that you will not spend the rest of your life here, that we provide you with
all the things you need to live a rich and happy
life once you return to the great stone candy mountains. And, your father, Duke Jawbreaker. I wanted to say, that
there may come a time soon where some opportunities
are presented to you and though, I am not permitted to entreaty that your wardship should end, lest I break the laws of the Concord. I will remind you, something
that I and your uncle have spoken about, which is that, if you were to be wed, your time as a ward would
have to come to an end so that you could attend to your sacred duties as a husband. - Right, yeah, I, I know, yeah. All my nice brothers got married and got to leave the compound, and,
and it was just me and, the last four brothers who
were, kinda unmarriable-- - She like, laughs and says, "I would never speak ill
of your forebrothers, who have sadly, had, not so great fortune in terms of securing a bride." - Yeah, yeah, they're assholes. It's okay, we can just say it. - Liam, I'm the queen.
- But, yeah, I'm not, I'm not really, like, interested. It's kinda hard to even talk to people. I'm just used to it kinda
just being me an Preston, you know, like, out in the open air. Even now, when I'm talking to people, I kinda feel like, maybe they hate me. - She looks at you and says, "I do not think you are hated Liam, at least not by me. And if there is such a one in this castle that does not care for you, let their name be know to me, and they shall be sorted out." - Cool. - Preston is a fine companion. - I don't want to marry Preston. Were you gonna say I wanted to marry Pres, I don't want to marry Preston. - No, that is not where I was going. - Oh, oh, oh!
Then-- - Are you having some kind
of awakening right now? - No, no! No, I, I mean, no. But, I just feel like a
lot of people are like, it's just you and Preston. Whenever people talk to
me about needing a wife, I'm always like, no thank you. Husband, no thank you. I'm, I'm fine alone, is what I'm saying. - Well, I understand that. But, there's also a, a
very large world out there, of people you haven't met. There might be a young lord
or lady, out there somewhere, who also likes to look
for seeds in the outdoors. And perhaps they feel
very, very alone as well. - I mean, that'd be, really cool. But, can I roll to see if she hates me. - Yeah, give me an insight check. - 15. - You are uncomfortable
with with how intense, how intensely high status this person is. Her gaze feels hot on you face, because she's so powerful. - He's still like, being in
this mountains with like, mountain folk. I think being around all this
royalty is really scary, so-- - Yeah, you're just scared of her, because she's powerful, but
she's not doing anything to make you think she's not-- - You're right, of course not. Yeah, she doesn't hate me, yeah. You don't hate me? - No Liam. When have I done anything
to be under the impression that I hate you? - Nothing, nothing. But, thank you, yeah, yeah, maybe, I mean, I'm open to meeting any kind of person. That'll be pretty cool. - I cannot advise you
on what you should do. I merely mean to repeat that, should you wish to find
a way to return home, there is a quicker path
for you to return home to your beloved mountains, and it is with a ring on your finger, and a bride or groom on your arm. - Great. - All right. She give you a little kiss on the cheek, and she looks over at one
of her servants and says, "Kindly bring my husband to my quarters." And you see that the servant nods. We cut-- I'm sorry were
you at, what do you have? - Oh no, nevermind. I was gonna maybe ask
her about the teacup, but then I was too embarrassed
that maybe I'd be in trouble, for breaking it. - You get, you head out, as you do, you see, I'm sorry. The queen leaves, and we
go back out to the field. I want to, as we go back
out to you guys training with your new awesome weapons, Ruby, give me an insight check. - 17. - [Brennan] Murph, go ahead
and give me a deception check. - 19. - Cool. - Is it? That's right. - What? - Awesome.
- Am I, am I there as well. - You're there as well, watching her. - So you've got your aunts' weapons? - Yes Theobald, I believe
it's time for you to retire. I'm ready to take over your position. If, if, when you're the
queen, you see fit for that, then I will-- - And I'm gonna learn how to do that trick where you shoot the arrow with your feet. - Whoa, that's cool. - You see that, a servant
comes over to you and says, "Your Majesty, her Majesty the queen asks for your company in her chambers." - All right. I have to go talk to the
queen, but, hey really, give it to Theobald, all right. He can take it, all right. - I attack Theobald. - If my lord commands it... - We would have to go right now. I mean, my girl's whipping
on Theobald right now. - Your Majesty, I can't
make anyone do anything. - All right-- - I'm also scrambling, everywhere! - Love it. Okay, kick his ass. - They're everywhere. - You see that, as you start fighting, jumping out from your cap is
Sprinkle, your little familiar, which is just a little animated sprinkle. It comes out and goes
(imitates shrill squealing). - Sprinkle, aid me! - You see that Sprinkle
jumps up and tries to, like wrap around your eyes to blind you. - Ah, ah, ah! God, it is such a, such a strong steed. - Sprinkle, go for the eyes! (imitates shrill squealing) - [Brennan] You see that Amethar walks-- - A vicious seed. - I love that. Can we burry a sprinkle? - Walks away. You walk up into Queen
Caramelinda's chambers. She turns to you and says, "They went down into
Dolcington this morning?" - Yeah, I guess. I mean, you know, I taught
them the scarecrow trick, like, a couple, like weeks ago-- - We don't need to be teaching our daughters any more tricks. - All right, well, you know,
the royal stuff gets old, okay, and it's fun to go and like,
hang out with my daughters and like, I don't know, teach them all the
stuff that I used to do. - It's fun! That's fun to you? It's fun for them to go
off amongst commoners, where anything could happen? I'll remind you Amethar,
we do have enemies. - Yeah. - Why was there an imperial
courier waiting in Dolcington after a different imperial
courier came to deliver this message from the Emperor? - I don't-- - Why, why, are all of
Jet's underpants tear-away? - I don't know, all right. These are things we don't talk about, cause we don't want to jinx it, all right. We're not supposed to jinx it.
- I have so many questions about this castle! - Well, I mean, I don't,
I mean, you know... - One of our squires
shattered every window in the main spiral stair in the tall tower by hurling himself down the steps! - Don't you think, I mean that was funny. That was funny, wasn't that? Wasn't that funny, I mean? - I, look, I didn't grow up
in this castle like you did. I was a countess of a small province in the eastern wastes of
Candia, where all is forgotten under the lee of the mountains. I, I don't... - Hey, I'm, I'm sorry, okay. I, I, I maybe I haven't been
acting particularly Kingly. I don't know. The girls are getting
older, it's just, I don't, this is right around,
I, I just, I'm sorry. How can I do better? - She hands a scroll to you,
of parchment, with the seal. Not just the imperial seal of the Concord, but the seal of the
Concordant Emperor himself. The one who rules from Comida, over the six kingdoms of Calorum. - Damn. Gustavo sent this? I, can I read it? I can't, I'm illiterate. Can you, can you read that to me? I can't,
- [Brennan] I'll tell you-- - You know I can't read. We don't, we act like
I can read out there. But in here, why are you
even giving me this scroll? You know I can't read.
- You see that she goes, (sighs) "Amethar, Gustavo is sick." - What? - He's sick. This is a letter in his own hand, not by one of his scribes.
And you see that she points, and you can see the
lettering is faint, and weak, and scrawls in a couple of places. You see that, she says, "we've thought that Gustavo
might have many more years as Emperor. According to the laws
of the Concord, I mean, you were a young man, but I also know that you
don't often pay attention so you know that Gustavo
has to name an heir. - Yeah, something like that, yeah. - And that heir cannot be his daughter, or anyone of the kingdom of Fructera. - Yeah, he's gotta pick,
like a, a Vegetanian, or like a Ceresian or something, yeah. - I know for a fact, that
other letters went out to the rulers of the other kingdoms from the scribe's office. This was from Gustavo's own hand. They are going to have the
tourney, as law commands. There will be a grand tournament. There will be champions selected. And, he will pick his successor. He has asked you, personally,
to be in attendance. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, I
mean, yeah, I love a tourney. It'd be fun to watch, and just hang out. You know, get together with everybody. See friends from, you know, high up-- - She says, well, first of
all, it's a grand tournament, so you don't need to watch
if you don't want to. You've eventually, there will be other lords
and kings participating. - Amethar, calm down. - Ah, I'm sorry. It's just, I haven't done
the, this is gonna be good. - She, you see that she like,
rubs her temples and says, "Why do you think the Emperor
would write you a letter, asking you, personally, to attend? To make sure that his old friend, that he knows does not
long for ruler-ship, is honor bound to attend by
the request of a dying man? Why do you think he would
make such an effort? Clearly, look at how weak his
hand was as he wrote this, to make sure you would attend. - I don't know. Because he knows I'll
put on a fucking show at that tournament! Yes! Can I just pull Pay Day,
Payment Day off my back and just start swinging it. - She goes, you like,
smash, chandelier smashes! She goes, "What's wrong with you? By the Bulb above! Who did I marry? Do you think... Sorry. Gustavo is asking you
to be there personally, because, law of the Concord commands that the successor be there
in person to be named. - The success, he going,
think, he's gonna? Do you think he's gonna pick me? - Amethar, who else would he ask? There is no heir to House Cheddar. The person who sits on the
throne of Lacramor right now is a 16-year-old girl, a
cousin of the House of Cheddar. No one's going to believe that Basham Yaso from the Meatlands is actually a member of the Bulbian Church. King Cabbage is on death's
door to begin with. The man is 92-years-old. And do you think he's
going to give it to, what, some corrupt Ceresian senator? No, he's going to give it to you, Amethar. - No he's, no he's not. No he's not. - Amethar, he's asked
you personally to attend. - I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go, I don't want to be, this is a, this is a-- - You will refuse a
summons from the Emperor? - Don't put this, no,
I'm, no, I can't, right? I can't, I can't do it. I can't refuse? - If you can't, either
you will send yourself, or you will send me, or
one of our daughters. - Do you want to go?
- No! - Okay. - No, I need to be here
to rule Candia, by myself, as I have done these twenty years past. - Vicious. - Okay, so I gotta, I
gotta go and, be ready to, so I shouldn't fight in the tournament? I should just get ready to be... - Amethar, the fact that your
mind dwells on the tournament, whether you fight in it
or not, it doesn't matter. Look, the last thing I'm worried about is you embarrassing
yourself in the only place you've been able to excel,
which is a battlefield. What I'm trying to say to you know, is that if you don't go, then another kingdom will
sit on the Concordant throne. For the past 20 years, our
kingdom has grown because your, one of your oldest and greatest friends has been emperor of the Concord. Every year, each kingdom gives 20 percent of it's taxes raised to the empire. Half of our fighting warriors, and half of every other kingdom's as well, wears the imperial crest, and serves in a kingdom not
of their own birthplace. The Concord is the greatest
tool for peace we've ever known. 20 years, have these
lands gone without war. It's not an accident. And with a different
emperor, that might change. - Okay. I'll go. - I am glad that you have,
after much convincing, seen fit to do what you must. Let us go tell the news to our daughters. - Yep, they can come, right? - They can come? - Yeah, they can come with me? - I don't know if it's wise-- - They're gonna come, all right. I'm the, I'm the king and
maybe gonna be the emperor. My daughters are coming with me. And, can, can the rabbit stay here? I don't want Lapain to come. (laughing) - If I'm sending my
daughters to a city filled with every kind of
Calorian under the bulb, you can best believe that
the good Chancellor Lapain will be going with you. - It's not going to be
any fun if he's there. - She says, we're gonna... She, she walks down.. She walks down, you guys see that they're
getting your big feast ready. And, you guys are drawn to, having a little luncheon
together in a large banquet hall. All sorts of wonderful
candy foods are served. There's a big butterscotch pheasant in the middle of the table, and lots of other delightful candy food. Glasses of cola are pouring for everyone, lemon-lime cola, orange
cola, classic cola. You see that the chancellor, also Theo, you're in the room as well.
Liam, you're eating here. Queen Caramelinda looks up and says, "Daughters, how did your
martial training go? At the table? For real?" - I can, have this, I have this rule going where I can only eat
that which I have slain. - Nothing on the table is alive! - I know, but I can still slay it. - Do you--
- [Emily] I-- - Where do you get the underwear from? Where do you get it from? - How does she know that?
- I go into Dolcington, there's a very tasteful lingerie shop. - We have to get that shut down. You see-- - You can't shut down a shop. - Yeah, there's honest,
hardworking people there. - Yeah. - Honest, hardworking
people can find other-- - We need a three bedroom above the shop. - Okay, we have some news your highnesses. A royal caravan will be
dispatched tomorrow morning, for the city of Comida. Your father, the king, has been summoned by the Concordant Emperor. You, understand the nature of the Concord? You should, you guys
give me a history check, if you'd be so kind? - Don't laugh at my roll. - I got a six. - I got a, nine. - Cool, you guys know that the Concord is, like an agreement, but
also maybe the empire. But it's, but it's, you
know that the emperor is a friend of your dad's. - But it's in Comida, right? - That is were the Great
Pyramid of Food is, and the Concordant Throne. - Well mother, I am nothing
if not a dutiful daughter, - Yes.
- And so, it is with heavy feet
that I trudge the path you lay before me.
- I, I pick up a bowl, that, that our trip will be, be safe and healthy, and unexciting. - She looks at you and says, "All right, so, look, around 25 years ago, the Ravening War began. This was a war between all
of the kingdoms of Calorum. It was started by a conflict between Fructera and Vegetania. Chancellor Lapain has, I'm sure, gone over this many, many times." - Pretty much constantly. - Yeah, I think I remember. - If I could, consult my notes. Unfortunately I don't have them with me. - Oh, me too. - You took notes? - All kinds of notes. - The, 20 years ago, the
Imperator of Ceresia, Imperator of Forcatchia,
was defeated outside of the city of Pangranos,
by an army comprised of the emperor's Fructeran
nobility, your father, most of Candia's armies, and our allies-- - Get in there. - And our allies of the Dairy Islands. Afterwards, a concord was reached. The emperor would be Gustavo Uvono. Each kingdom would give
their taxes levied, and a full half of their
warriors at arms, to the empire. Thus, that the peace may be
maintained, and no kingdom would have the strength to rise up and war against any other without each other nation
being called by oaths sworn under the light of the Bulb,
to protect their allies, should anyone aggress against any other. Thus began the Pacts Calorum, and we find ourselves
here, in an age of peace that you have been only too
lucky to have been grown up in. The emperor has grown sick,
and must declare an heir. There will be a grand
tournament in Comida. And your father need be present there. - Neither of us want to be heir. - Yeah. But dad, are you going to fight? - I, I'm, I might get to, I don't know. There's other stuff I need to do, so. - Oh my god, we're gonna
get to see you fight? - I hope so. - You're gonna win dad. - That would be really cool. - Thanks for-- - If you wish, there are
also going to be tournaments of archery and jousting,
and various other parts of the tournament that you
may avail yourselves to. - I join pinkies under the table with Jet, cause this is our
wildest dreams come true. - All of our, we're trying
to keep a straight face, but all of our enthusiasm is going into our twitching pinkies. - You both, you both all right over there? - Yes.
- Yes. We will represent the
noble House of Rocks. - Yes, we will present
a noble face of Rocks. And the bards will sing our
praises after we fucking win. - So many things. - God.
- All right, this is a lot. I'm going to ask that you... Honestly, your father thinks
you should go and I, I agree. I think that-- - What? - I think that it would be wise for you to see some of the world. And perhaps when you see
how fortunate you are to have been raised in Castle Candy, you will come to an appreciation of both your birthright, Jet,
to one day be queen of Candia. And of all of the opportunities
and responsibilities bestowed upon you by your station. Also, Liam should go. - What? - Sick.
- I'm, I'm reaching into my pocket and hatching seeds and eating them. They're like, not edible. Not edible. - Liam is a ward of the
king, not of Castle Candia. Wheresoever the king goes,
I think it only right that the king should remain in
stewardship over his cousin-- - Yeah, definitely. Would I, this is traveling? - That is correct. - This is traveling? - No, this is traveling. - No, I know. - Jesús traveling? Is that what you said? - No, I said this is traveling, nevermind. - He doesn't speak egg. - And I don't talk like,
- I don't speak egg. - an egg. - Theo laughs way too hard. I don't know what that means, but-- - I do not sound like an egg-- - Yeah, I would, I would totally go-- - It'd be great.
- [Liam] So cool. - Yeah, it'll be fun.
- I bet there's so many-- - Very well, Amethar,
I shall leave it to you and the honorable, the
honorable Sir Theobald to arrange for the caravan. In order to be on time
for grand tournament, you have to leave on the morrow. - [Amethar] Great. - I'm sorry, who's all going? You? - No, I shall be remaining
here at Castle Candy-- - Your Majesty, it would
be my privilege to go and make sure that the royal
princesses are all studied up on what they need to know about the, the Concord and all of that. - Oh, I fully agree chancellor. And in fact, Sir Theobald,
I trust that the safety of the princesses shall be
more paramount on this envoy than it has ever been at any time before. In fact, I think it best that
the princesses remain fully in your sight at all times. And too busy their days
in the strange new land, perhaps Chancellor Lepain, you
might find it in your heart to instruct them as to
the knowledge and lore of the new lands they
shall be arriving at. I understand that there
are chapels and cathedrals of the Bulbian faith that
would be extremely illuminating to visit during your time there! - I do not want to make this a pilgrimage to 17 different chapels. - No.
- I've seen every chapel I need to see for my entire life. - You've seen the one chapel! - Yes.
- Yes, so many times. - A lot of times.
- He always wants to bring us there. - My queen, I will have to
make a very rigorous schedule for this trip with events-- - I will also help make
the schedule, and... - It is very strict and it-- - I want to go to gift shops. - Yeah, can we go to the
gift shops at the, the, the chapels at least? - If there are-- - There will be no time. (laughing) - Wonderful. You guys finish your
luncheon, and the festivities of the Saint's Day of the
twin princesses begin. Awesome revelry, it's like,
no one parties like Candia. The huge huge candy
fireworks, arcane fireworks that smells sweet. The smell of like, hot cookies
and a sweet smelling breeze of like, ginger and chocolate. You see, like, hot spiced coco comes out in thick horns of stripped
candy, people swing them down. There's a dancing, the Tartguard all do these
high kicking line dances, and dance along the, the battlements. - Theobald, get out there. Dance with them. - This is ridiculous.
- Theobald, I order you to dance. - Yes my lord. I go out and I do-- (laughing) - It's a dance. - It's the same dance!
- It's the same dance! - I lock eyes with the king. Is this what you want sir? - Yeah, I'll take it. - Using the, the lady, the lady
of Whipperly approaches you. Has like a tall spiraled
whipped cream hairdo, like a light blue dress
that's, and she says, "Ah, my lord." - Hi my lady. - I understand that you
shall be creating your envoy for the trip to Comida. How very exciting. - Yeah. I'll be more than happy
to pick up the slack, should you find yourself
missing from this place. And you see that Lord Swirlie, who's like a little ice
cream headed guy who says, "Very good indeed, it is
your Majesty the king. I'm wondering who shall be
where and, how, how forth, the, the coming envoy. It seems rather exciting
to travel to Comida." - What? - You see,
- What? - You see that Calroy
leans over to you and says, "Your Majesty," - Yeah. - All the underworld's
about to break loose if we don't come up with some kind of list of who's going and who's not going. - To, to Calor, to-- - Comida, yes.
- Yeah. Those people just want to,
does everybody want to come? - I mean, it's a chance
to broker alliances with all the other various lords. An event like this comes around, literally once in a lifetime. - Yeah, who do you, I mean, Cal, who do you think we should bring, I mean? - I would leave all of these, esteemed lords and ladies in Castle Candy, if I would be honest. I, you see, he looks at you and says, "Your Majesty, you don't
want to be emperor, do you?" - No, no, no, not really, no. I mean, I don't know. The queen was going on and on about the peace and everything. That Candia is doing, of how well we are, and like how important
that is, and, I mean. I must support, I feel
like I'm supposed to. So I, I mean like, if
I'm supposed to, yeah, I'll do it, but. - I don't think it will
behoove the six kingdoms of Calorum to have an emperor that does what he thinks
is he's supposed to, and objects, subjects
himself to a life of misery. But, that's my two cents, and I'm not going to gainsay the queen. What I will say is, I think that, if you want a hand putting
the envoy together, I'm happy to help, but ultimately, I think you should take who you wish. As long as the princesses are safe, and you have people you trust with you, you have Lapain, you
have Sir Theobald who's-- - Did someone say Lapain? - Wait, where the hell did you come from? - He looks at you and says, "Lapain, we're discussing
who should go on the envoy." - Oh, yes. - I understand that if you have more than 30 warriors at arms, we need to request an imperial guard to travel on the Sucrosie Road. So, I would say more than 30, and we end up at some
bureaucratic paperwork. But, I think a well armed
guard is worthwhile. - Yeah, let's do, yeah, we'll do that. - All right, but yes, I
think, bring who you wish. - Okay, I know but I like that ice cream guy. - Lord Swirlie?
- Yeah, tell Lord Swirlie he can come. - Wonderful, we'll bring Lord Swirlie. You see, he says, some
of the most, he says, "You have some trusted servants as well. I there's Licorina Loghead
is one of the handmaidens of the princesses." - Yeah she, yeah, she can come. - And the, Sir Theobald's squire. - Yeah, yeah, Theomond--
- Limond. - Oh, Limond, yeah, yeah. - You see, Calroy looks
at, Calroy looks and says, "Do you want me to just
put this together, and--" - Yeah.
- All right. He nods and says, "Very good." - Make sure everyone is fun, you know. - Make sure they're all fun?
- sure on the ice cream man. - I mean, yeah, he's funny, he's, he's funny, like (mumbles). I feel like, if we get him
drunk, it'll be like a good time. So-- - Okay. - You see, Calory looks over and says, "I think it'll be best to, obviously, if the chancellor went. Do you, I'll put it this way. I'm happy to go with you
if you would like someone to lean on if you, if
you can't remember names your supposed to remember." - Cal, your coming with. - I'm happy to. I'm also happy to stay here if you would like a
friendly face here in court while you're gone. But I leave it in your careful judgment. - The queen can do it. Cal, you're coming with me, all right. You've always been there. I've watched you shit and piss. All right, we've talked about this. - We did.
- All right, what happened? - He shit and pissed himself
in the trenches of war. - Hmm, yes.
- Lovely. Then to Comida on the morrow. I will get my good pants and
we'll make a trip out of it. - The good pants. - I like a nice pants. You know, when your whole
body is a slice of cake-- - Yeah.
- You need to real, all the fashion kinda
lives below the waist. - I can't wait to see
you in pants, you know, in your best pants. Bring your best pants. - Your Majesty, is that a challenge? - That's a challenge. - Then I only have one
night to get the best pants that Candia can produce. You see, he points to one of his servants, and you see, he says, "Archibolt! The finest pants you can find!" And you see that he, sort of wobbles off. Lapain, you hear a little chiming of wind. And you feel that
something vital has broken. - Oh no. - Lapain goes out to, he
like, pretends to like, circle around the party,
but makes his way outside to where the sugarplum fairy area is. - The sugarplum stones
stand silent in the grove. Go ahead and give me
a stealth or deception if you would like. - Deception for sure. I got a 15. - Anyone who's like, in
the same area as Lapain can give me an insight check. Was that 15 you said. - Fuck. - Am I inside...
- Insight? - 16. - Oh 16. - 11. - Cool, just Jet and Liam. You guys are hanging out,
you are, you two are over, and you see that Licorina,
who's got a giant log of licorice for a head, she's going like, "Well right you are then mums. And I'll tell you this right now, we'll be aside to go on the road with you. I'll get all of your best doublets and your best tights and
such, a nice harlequin look. For the circus yous like so much. Now, I'll tell you this. Comida is full of the
handsomest young lads and lasses you ever did see. But last time I was in
Comida, I'll tell you this, your Highnesses, we had ourselves a parade through them young lads and lasses. It were a right hurricane. - I'm ready for a parade. - I like a parade myself through-- - But you need--
- lads and lasses. - You'll need to be
drinking plenty of water, and keep yourselves fed,
cause it can get exhausting. Now, I say that as a common folk. I'm not sure how the rules
work for your royal Highnesses. - Oh, we're common people. - Yes. - Everybody is a common person. - Truly, the garb we
may wear may be royal, but, the blood in our veins
is as common as you get. - Liam and Jet, you guys see
Lapain, just kind of like, let himself out of the party,
through and outer gate. - That is so weird. - I think I go look. - Cool, you follow, great. You follow along, you see Licorita says, "Now, about your last couple of lessons you do before you can
join your own party--" - I distract Licorina, cause
I see Jet want's to leave. - Okay, and I kinda, scoot away. - Cool, where's Jet scoot? - I'm scooting to spy
on, to spy an Lapain, because I figure, if I
can get him in trouble, maybe he won't come and make
us come to lot's of chapels. - Each of you guys,
give me a stealth check. And I need a, actually no, you're just going to
do passive perception. What's your passive perception? - Passive, oh, 13. - 15.
- 25. - That's my expertise thing. - So you guys scoot along,
you guys see each other and you begin to sneak through
the woods after Lapain. You guys are shadows, totally unseen. - Okay.
- Enter my shadow. - Okay. - You see that Preston goes,
(imitates pig snorting) - Be quite.
- Can I touch him, by the way? - Yes, of course.
- I've always wanted to, thank you.
- He's really nice. - Oh my gosh. He's so cute.
- Isn't he. - I'm walking through-- - You walk through, you arrive at the standing sugarplum stones. - Fuck, I broke that earlier. - Lapain, just, very exhaust,
in a very exhausted way, like, bows to it. And then looks at the cup. It's broken. He doesn't have mending or anything, but we'll try to like,
put it together, like, organize it in a way, to respect it. - Go ahead and give me, yeah, just give me a little flat charisma check. - 12. - Cool. You like, sew it together
with a little piece of sugar. It's still very cracked and broken, but you put it back down. You see that lavender runes begin to glow in the deep purple of the sugary stones. And, you both watch this
hidden behind a tree off in the shadows, and you see, appearing before you in
the center of the circle is a floating image of a
beautiful six-winged fairy, sugarplum leaves, sort
of Tinkerbell leaf dress over her form, and these long
lavender dragonfly wings, three on each side. You see that she has like,
two beautiful indigo eyes, and then, almost like an insect,
up to each corner of one, two like, lavender eyes. But they're each sparkling and beautiful. She looks like, gorgeous, but like alien and terrifying, appears. - Lapain, he can tell that there's like, a little bit of disrespect
to those, (mumbles) and then, like, it sort of bows in like, I have to do this kind of way. - Good chancellor. - Hello. - I'm sorry that I could not move upon your sweet little teacup. The ward, the count of Freezyburg broke it while traveling through these woods. - Shit. - That's you, right?
- What is that? - They broke it. - He is a sweet boy. - What would you like of me now? - Well, I took the
opportunity of a broken cup to see you come to my glade, as you are traveling to a place that will not keep my standing stones. - I will do my best to be careful in absence of your standing stones. I... Is there any advice
that you have that you, is there any, it feels like you want-- - Are they exes?
- me to-- - I do, I am getting a bit of a-- - I'm getting a vibe, right. - You see that she says, "Lapain, you need not worry your friend. There is great danger ahead. You are leaving the kingdom
of Candia, and with it, my realm of influence. You go now to a place where only the Bulbian church holds sway. Luckily they believe you to
be a member of their church. - Technically, I am. - Technically, you are. - But, I know we both know that there are other things at work. - This really talks like exes
talking to each other, right? - Yeah, it's like, hey, how have you been, in like the most painful way.
- We both know there's a reason it didn't work out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - She looks at you and says, "I would caution you this. "There are dark forces at work. "Be wary. "Boldness will be required
in the days to come Lapain." - In the past, I have done
what you have asked of me, in an official capacity. Are you asking me to
do anything right now? - Oh, clever rabbit. - What the fuck.
- This is kinda hot. (laughing) - No, Chancellor Lapain, I'm
not asking for my third wish. - Lapain just nods. So I will be careful, and I
will be bold if necessary. What does that mean? - It means that, though there will be
great risk awaiting you, the risk will be greater
if you do not act. Boldness and caution alike will be needed to survive the coming challenges. - Are you sure that this
family is worth such boldness? - He's talking about my family. - You see that, she looks at you and says, "I would not have used my second
wish to bring you to them, if I did not believe it was important." - Okay. - Lapain, keep your wits about you. Protect the king, and
protect the princesses, or else all is lost. - The cup is probably gonna break again. I don't know if you need me
to do anything about that. - Do you not know the mending cantrip? - I happened to, well, it's
just kind of one I don't have. - But you have a lot, right? - I have a couple of other
things I could, like, (magical chimea)
(laughing) - Well, we're gonna have to work that out if you want mending, we
have to work that out. - Okay. - Very well Lapain, and you
see that she floats down, gives you a little kiss on the cheek-- - Okay. - And says, "I know you
don't like me very much, but you have been a
very, very good servant." - I will take that, and take my leave. - The light fades from
the standing stones, and Lapain, you walk back
to the castle, great. - Liam--
- Whoa! - Me thinks we have a mole in our midst. - That's crazy. - So he? So what? - He's basically working
for the sugarplum fairy as some sort of servant. He doesn't even believe
in the Rocks family. He's only here as a, as a,
in servitude to someone else. - Ah, yeah. - We gotta tell Ruby about this. - Okay. What are you into? - Me? Fighting mostly. - Oh cool, actually-- - What about you? Oh, seeds, seeds.
- Yeah, lot of seeds. Actually, I had a question. You have a lot of books,
and I wanted to get a book where I can put all my flowers in it. - Oh yeah.
- Like a press flower book. - Do you want one that's, like
technically illegal in this, in this empire, or like-- - Not necessarily. Actually, not necessarily. - Yeah, I've actually gotten-- - It's just for flowers. It doesn't need to be illegal. - You guys are arriving
back at the castle, as you do, you guys get
back to see Ruby there. - We definitely fill
Ruby in on all of this. - Holy. - Yes, Lapain is a mole. - That is, we're gonna use this. - Yes.
- This is gonna be really-- - That person had so many eyes. - This, you're gonna like this. This information is like a seed that we can choose when to harvest. - Any of you can make a
religion or a nature check if you'd like. - Oh yeah baby. - Religion, nature. - Hot seven, with my nature bonus. - One, two, three, four. - I got a 21.
- Thank you, thank you. - Good thing we told Ruby. - Cool, what skill were you using? - History. Yes, history. - History, okay. Not arcana? - You said history or-- - No I said, I said religion or nature. - Oh, I'm think he said history. I mean, even so, I rolled an 18, so. - It's high. - With arcana, it's plus
five, it's like, better. - Oh, so we'll do arcana. - The sugarplum fairy is a powerful spirit of the Sweetening Path, which is like, an animistic religion native to Candia. - I know that right, because
my mom is super into that. - Yeah, your mom is
like a Druid and shaman of the Sweetening Path. - Love it, yeah. - So, what you know about the
sugarplum fairy is, it is, the sugarplum fairy is a
protector guardian spirit of Candia. And the legends about the
sugarplum fairy are not that she is evil. - Oh. Yeah, sugarplum fairy is cool. Honestly, I think that the
sugarplum fairy is like, much more interesting than Bulbia. - No, I do to. And you know what? People who are Bulbian don't
like the sugarplum fairy. They're very militant
about their religion. - But like, sugarplum fairy
is fine about Bulbians. It's like, a one way street. - If anything, the fact
that he was talking back to the sugarplum fairy and reluctant, makes me think that he's a
bad guy who's being whipped into shape by the sugarplum fairy. - Oh, yeah, I'm on board
with still not liking him. - Yeah.
- Agreed. - Morning arrives the
next day, and the envoy of King Amethar of the
House of Rocks sets out. You've got your herald, you've
got Licorina, and Limond, a bunch of Tartguard. You see Limon says, "Oh well, I suppose it's
just as good as anything, I should be sent and banished to Comida." - Limond, you don't have
to walk next to your horse. You can ride the horse. - No, the horse would
be insulted to carry me. - Limond, I, I've just heard word that the ice cream man
wanted to talk to you at the back of the caravan. - Surely it's to beat me
around the head and shoulders with a cudgel. - Sure. - He goes to the back. - I love you playing an asshole. - You see that Sir Toby is
actually gonna remain here to go take care of those problems. He's going with, Sir, like
Amanda Maylard and other, sort of the queen's
champion and other knights to go deal with, brigands
and stuff like that, and like, to get a win
for the Knights of Gumbar. So you're taking, you know,
like, a score and some of Tartguard with you, to
protect, who are technically, the Tartguard are the people you command, and they are, like,
royal guards basically. - Toby, you sure you can't come? Just these, not that there's
anything wrong with these guys. They seem-- - (laughs) Dance, dance, dance. - Theobald, it's so good to
see you amongst your people. - Yes, we all one. I command them. - You see that he sort
of nods, and he says, right, well, he says, "My lord, I'm sorry, but I should stay here with
the Knights of North Gumbia to lead the and try to settle
this matter in the West Cake. What I shall also say is, I
would bewares with traveling, that there are some wanted signs. You've heard of those, the, that, sugarless chocolate Warlock out there, sort of, patrolling around
the borders of Candia. There's some wanted posters out there Sir. Just keep and eye out,
if you get a chance. - Bittersweet dark-nips, right? - A bitternut dark-nips, yes. - Bitter-night dark-nip. - He says, nods and says, "I know that the Fructeran
nobels in the border regions are very adamant that we
do something about that. So, if there's an
opportunity to capture her, that would be very well and good. Otherwise, there, there is a commander who should be waiting to
escort you past the border of Candia." You see, he takes a little
message out and says, "Commander Constano Grisieny,
of the imperial army, should be waiting there with a troupe of imperial
Ceresian infantry to escort you to the capital city. - Excellent. - You see that he says, "Your Highnesses, fair wind and good fortune on your path." - Thank you. I feel as though I'm finally
stepping into my destiny. I hope you the same. It feels really good. - Yes, everybody should have a destiny. What's yours?
- What's yours? - My destiny? - Yes. - The Bulb above knows only. I am but a humble servant. - Yes, of course. - Yeah. - For sure. - Yes, of course. - Yes.
- You're right. - Yes, of course. - What are you? - It sounded like you... We're all good, all right. Fare thee well. And you see, he heads off. You guys get in your caravan and head out, so like there's like an
advanced guard of about, you know, you have an advanced guard, and there are scouts
posted, yadda, yadda, yadda. You guys head off and you begin to journey away from Castle Candy for the first time. Down the multi-colored rainbow,
Sucrosie Road, you tra-- - I link pinkies with Ruby. - The chocolate chip
hills of Cookieshire roll, the grass grows up by
the side of the road, the pink and fuchsia grass. You guys start getting to
like, the borders of Candia, where you can even like,
see like, ah, is that, like a fruit growing on a tree? As like the landscape starts to change. - As you guys are traveling
along the Sucrosie Road, what are you guys all, like, doing in this brand new lands
you've never seen before. - I'm definitely standing
on the saddle of my horse, just doing our best, as soon as we got out
of sight of the castle so that our mother couldn't see us-- - So actually are not
traveling with horses. You guys are traveling with meeps. - Oh.
- Oh. Giant marshmallow legless
birds are pulling the, are pulling the carriage along. So you have three armored carriages, your squires and stuff, so there, you wouldn't be riding anything. So you can either be like,
in one of the carriages-- - Oh, in which case, I
climb out of the carriage and I'm standing on top of the carriage, doing tricks sometimes.
- I think, I've got one hand on Ruby
to give her a help action on anything that she needs to do. - I think I'm giving, probably talking to some
straw people inside the... - No, at this point, at this
point, I'm present with you. - Oh, okay.
- And I'm keeping an eye on you. - Yeah, so, Lapain I'm sure is talking about the history of Fructeria. - Lapain, I have a question. - Are you like, leaning
out the window and holding? - Yeah. Lapain, I have a question. Have you ever heard of
the sugarplum fairy? - Oh, I hang my head in
the window upside down. Yeah, have you even heard
of the sugarplum fairy? - I think we have, yes I've
heard of it I believe-- - I just wanted to know more about it. Forgive me.
- We were doing some history reading. - Yes.
- Because we want to study. - I think, lesson number one, let's not talk about
sugarplum fairy on the road. Let's practice that now. What do we think?
- Is sir Theo in the-- - Yeah, I'm just there. I think I have my other arm out, holding Ruby on the other side. - I've got her. You don't need--
- You don't have her. - I'm fully, like, horizontal,
just holding onto the window, but horizontal, out of
the side of the carriage. - Lovely. - So, I know that
places, they might not be too fond of ideas of other
religions, like Fructeria. They may not like stories
the sugarplum fairy or other religions. Just so you know. - Okay. - We were just interested, from an historical point of view.
- Forgive me, I'm a young, I'm a young,
- I guess we're babies, - Budding mind.
- tiny babies. - Cursed with the curiosity. - Can I ask Liam to ride
with me at my carriage? - Sure, absolutely.
- Yeah, I think I'm like, I'm so good at direction and
finding where we're going, that I'm just kind of like, trying so hard not to backseat drive whoever's leading this caravan. I'm just like, that was a wrong turn. This is gonna be--
- But was it a wrong turn? I mean, I'll make them,
we'll make them turn around. - No, no, it's a, it's like, yeah, it was, I mean we can just cut
up here, and, I mean, we wanna run perpendicular to the cola, - Yeah.
- so that we hit it quicker. - As you're sort of saying, like, we wanna (mumbles) the cola, you actually look are you guys, is your
character different, so that-- - I think the, that, I get like, Lapain and I'm not riding with Lapain. - Yeah, so, so you guys
are in the front carriage and you guys are in the middle carriage. And you look up ahead, and you see one of the
Tartguard looks around as you round the little
bend of the corner and goes, "Your Majesty, it looks like
the advanced guard might "have missed this. "A tree has fallen in the road. "We need a moment to clear it." - Okay, next time you gonna drive, okay, yeah, let's take
a minute, if anyone, yeah, clear the road.
- I could take a piss break. - We should check this
and make sure this-- - You take 16 points of damage. - I'm dead. 16 points of damage, I'm fully dead. - Your, it takes 16 points of damage? - Wait, I wanna use a-- - You are surprised and
can't use reactions. You take 16 points of damage, and something else happens to you, which gives you and immediate
failed death saving throw. - What! - I'm gonna need everybody
here roll initiative. - What!
- The fuck! - No!
- Oh, 'cause you're outside. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - Okay. - You guys holding onto Ruby's ankles, feel her collapse as you hear, on the sides of the carriages, you hear, (arrows hitting wood) as the carriages stop in
front of the fallen tree. That's all for this week,
an "A Crown of Candy". - What the fuck! - Oh my god, the princess has been shot! - Why are you doing this? - I don't feel, I feel trapped and-- - Traveling through the
borderlands of Candia, and we leap into battle. - Heal my fucking sister
or everyone knows-- - Careful archers,
somebody clear the road! I rip my shirt off-- - You take the Horn of Candia, (imitates explosion booming) - We are all going to die. - It's gonna be a box of doom roll. - Bitch! - Jesus.
[NO SPOILERS] means any comments with spoilers need to use spoiler tags to cover the information. Show tags are black. Book tags are red. Game tags are orange. For more info please check the spoiler guide.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
The premise is basically what if Game of Thrones took place in Candyland. This is episode one so you need to get a Dropout subscription to get all the episodes. But they tell a full season's worth of story with dice and mechanics and its really good!