Fahim Anwar & The Loyal Lizard | TigerBelly 167

[Music] [Music] our idge rich water you in your pocket to hold your money and your credit cards space-age aluminum in your fiber optics titanium hey guys um I don't know how many times I have to tell you fools because you guys are foolish mm-hmm but I'm telling you look up rich walnut we use it we all use it it protects your [ __ ] it holds your money it looks slick when I pulled it out when I pulled it out like on the 7-eleven when I'm getting like beef jerky or whatnot yeah and I pull out my clip they go oh what is [ __ ] because they're all Asian Hornung shaking what is she what is that and I go that's a future in your face okay I tell them about Ridge wallet they go holy [ __ ] they have that it was just 2096 no man this is the future of my pocket right now you guys it has RFID protection like I'm guaranteed free shipping worldwide we we all use it and I'm telling you right now guys I employer-employee ploor you get it okay go to rich wallet calm and use the promo code tiger belly for 10% off your sleek front carry wallet be the future with rich wallet hoary [ __ ] I don't want to talk about that because of my religion my parents might hear it you know he has boundaries get one thing he shouldn't be a comedian like you know a mosque guy had to be a mosque guy but I've turned him down why don't you guys start when we start a company when we make those little rugs that they sit on when they pray that'd be killer what do they call those little take line carpets you and I should make it a company called flying carpets really comfy ones though like we'll use like high-end like memory foam prayer rugs really high-end like the Bugatti yeah was like 0 to heaven you believe in that flying rugs alfombra mihika alright well um you're the middle east they have yeah we have another started what I haven't started we haven't even started I've been trying to twist off yeah these are nervous for it's my second alright um beginning a few May 5 okay for that's right three uh-huh two right one bingo and welcome welcome to another podcast episode of chibi the tiger belly tuberculosis tuberculosis dirtiest of like Caucasians like the ugly side the underbelly of Caucasian it's the kind where um you know you have good whites you know the good white Schindler was a good white yeah james van der beek Van Der Beek is a [ __ ] good white dude pure and simple dude hearin simple right like you feed out you could snort his ashes and you'll feel a little spiritual yeah fly yeah you'll fly a little bit yeah so you have the good whites and then you got um the gray ones there whose gray like just those millions of them oh just have these jobs and they go to their post office job that's great no they have lives they realize he knows ya Filipinos also rely a lot of people have gray lives right and then you have the whites that are um just the bottom you don't mean the ones that you see in the news you know China Church you know yeah Dylan roof you know that in those times you got one George killer I know you haven't but you're one of those and I'm on do you do and my eyes are on you my little squinty eyes okay let me see something right now and I know you judge moot because I'm a little squinty eyes I can see perfectly with these all right I have great per if okay long view short view the whole thing all right I'm on do you look a coyote and he looked right at he's like where yeah it was lazy a booking giant wild animal before his very eyes but I can see you though that's all I need to know and then we got your better one right here he's much better than there he is if you were an Android you would be the first model he's eight the model damn 500 years later that's Fast Company got it down that's good yeah fast motor they kind of down [ __ ] you toward I love you though and that's the thing I love you know what you know what dude it's like in AI I like that little on what was it that little guy and they I get a leg I yeah what a little I like the little guy man a little weird movie no was the other rope no was the other robot movie do Robin Williams know there was another one where he was a robot comes olden becomes a human that's a no a is Haley Joel Osment is no there's another role anyway I love it I need to know I absolutely need to know and ruins of the heart is what I like to call it Bicentennial man nice and Tizen is a good movie yeah and I just still drink a little of my pumpkin spice because it's the holidays we have a guest I know a nice look at me right now like what am I gonna get introduced no no no don't talk what [ __ ] introduce you dude and everyone knows the rules and dude this is your second time attacked me the first time and also like I didn't want to say no we thought over damn and I do the whole white bit again the whole team haven't you been so many people how many people in the room got ugly [ __ ] bottom-dwelling we have a guest and the reason why he's on again is because he has something very big to announce and he's also a friend he was my opening act for a couple of years very strong comic I think he was on the other night although you're trying new stuff I felt felt like we oh yeah yeah yeah and Kirk and I were watching you Fox and Kirk goes why isn't this guy the biggest thing and I go I go shut the [ __ ] up I looked at Kirk Fox ago you shut your [ __ ] skinny ass [ __ ] off okay I know he should be bigger but shut the [ __ ] up mmm his name no and I know a lot of you magaz I there listening no I'm being real do it's an election you know America fans yeah I have some really you have some true we do yeah so I'm telling them a lot he's not one of those okay that's just for the five guys he's a good dude he really is your pure in heart and I love your family I've met your brother he's a dentist I've met all those other Punjab around them said it the first time whatever those let you know all that you know yeah I love them all I really do when they when he we used to go to Seattle he needs to come I haven't said your name but anyway he used to come out to the shows and I used to hug that I love them they're good people thanks man don't you think yeah do they like me as well yeah as well do i oh that's nice he has a Comedy Central sketch show coming out it's called goat face yeah it's with you Aristotle yeah what's up the guy from The Daily Show yes Patriot Act on Netflix no - I love it's a great show that's how Amazon and then uh Asif and they're doing a Middle Eastern right I mean Persian I mean American well yeah it's very American you guys are Americans and you haven't you have an American voice but it's a bunch of Persian Americans first generation I think yeah Middle Eastern American South doing a sketch show on Comedy Central and I have to say they shoot you showed me two or three sketches yeah and I cackle like a little schoolgirl thanks man so cool because I don't anybody yeah I laugh so hard and let me say something you can doubt me Brice you can doubt me George and you guys can point your fingers and go what have I done I was on a sketch show for eight years I've seen some sketches myself okay I know some SNL people thank you very much which is quran desk of amigo all right so I've been in the rodeo I've saddled up and I've done my last sounds okay and I and I'm telling you right now this [ __ ] this sketch show that he did his Bui muy comprehend a man okay yeah I've been playing too much red dead but yeah yeah go man it's let me say something it's so [ __ ] funny really funny yeah yeah cuz like I've been working on it for so long and I'm too close to it so it's like I've seen two sketches a million times and like I wrote a lot him a long time ago so it was nice who's burning a hole in my pocket just like let me get a fresh set of eyes or you know I know Bobby I trust Bobby we were in your car I was like can I just I want yeah oh you can already like to two or three of them and I chose like my favorite it's the quickest very and is so great watching like I loved watching you watch them I've seen two sketches a million times so I was just like watching you watch them yeah and it just felt so good because it's like watching for the first time again like okay if Bobby's genuinely enjoying it what happens when they pick up 13 episodes you got it yeah yep you Daffy nah man dude the way well how it works man all right I'm a sketch guy like stand-up and sketch is what I do it's what I was born to do that's what comes naturally yeah sometimes you know you'll take these general meetings and stuff and they're like you have any screenplays or like sitcoms yeah and I have like ideas but like that doesn't just come to me I don't like get inspiration and I go to a log cabin and like I have law and cabin in the woods was done by that guy that directed The Avengers what's his name of Joss Whedon yeah Josh Whedon yeah some of those guys are just and they would spend a weekend in a hotel him as a writer and they just it was a two-floor thing and they just yelled out what about this yeah and they both banged out the script yes like Sorkin just yeah yeah then in his brain I'm not that guy and instead of trying to bang my head against the wall and and like try to be this thing that I'm not I've just always been a strong proponent of leaning into your core competencies so that's why I've just always been hitting stand-up and sketch like that just flows through me yeah so stand-up I've been doing forever you know I mean I do it every night and like I'm doing in 16 years and then sketch is just something it's been that long you've been doing stand-up yeah man that's the job that's what trouble with starting so young everyone just thinks that you're like six years in for the whole I know knew quite a while like how long mm yeah right because when I asked you to do a sketch on MADtv you said no to me yeah I know I'm just thinking to myself so when was I am at TV that's a recap a long time ago yeah so I have known you for a very long time super long time no you said no to me yeah that's the first time we met you said no to me yeah you run the steps in the belly room smoking yeah it was like hey my friend for him is a funny guy Xillia introduce you yeah to me uh-huh and then he goes uh you know where you from where you parent from Afghanistan he's like well you don't do the sketch where you'd be on man TV and I go what's the sketch you go you know I open up the closet and then you know I see you're shirtless in a turban like your underwear and you're sharpening a sword it's good pitch I would love to read the rest of this guy it was just basically only Dave Navarro where I gave Navarro I was doing a tour of this place uh-huh it was this house or this condo yeah and I just opened up you know man open up and just random it's a random little thing you know it was a sight gag it wasn't for sure you know I mean it wasn't the meaning I didn't think but sandy danto did it it's fine that sandy got a minute this is before people were woke and weren't like that's not a Middle Eastern guy it wasn't I didn't even say you could have even said if I wasn't wearing a turban and I was wearing some sort of clothing I would have been like oh yeah all right maybe you're cooking something I don't know I don't know I wasn't trying to workshop it with you I also bring it up every time I see you always say that's why you respected me that's exactly why that's not what I was trying to do at the time no yeah I mean I did see a sketch where you were a [ __ ] turban hey don't give it away but I'm just saying the thing though like that type of [ __ ] I I feel okay with it if I write it maybe it's weird but I just know where it's coming from why when I write the thing and I feel like it's empowering if I put myself in a turban for a thing that I've written because I know I know I'm trying to turn something on its head as opposed like another race absolutely correct friend yeah that's why I'm just giving you [ __ ] friend okay that's all right no I really respect you for doing that and I just had this feeling by looking at you and I I don't want to get emotional but I'm not gonna okay is is that how do I say it without just give me a second it's my podcast okay just let me it's just that you hear this nonsense from politicians too scare middle of America about like Muslims or Mexicans and all that you know and all that kind of stuff yeah they're coming in and and literally when I run into you or Maz or any of those guys a me okay right he's one yeah or yeah or just you know or does any of you guys I literally do not think of race or or what your religious background is are you guys are just friends of mine like when Amir K when he was on the new MADtv he would pull me aside and tell me how he felt about being nervous and you know I don't think the writers like and we could just sit there and connect and and I can talk him through you know cuz it's the same thing that I felt and when I look at you I'm just so happy for you you just a great you're a great really great guy you really are there's not a single person right what are you laughing at babe you know when Trump said my african-american because what Trump did that he didn't know that guy and he doesn't really have any african-american friends I know it sounds like that like just you guys who are you you know all right forget you what's so funny gilga alright alright you know what let me rephrase it then hey rephrase it yeah yeah you're just a great guy hey yeah yeah you really are and dying you guys are so nice to me and it's well there's never I've never I've there's I've never been anywhere where they go [ __ ] that guy Fahim Anwar well that's nice but you know also one thing I've noticed too about like being beloved or like liked by everybody that means like you're do way overdue you know what I mean like when you get things early people will hate you yeah if you get things on on time still some people will hate you but if you've just been because I just feel like I'm one of those guys who's like slip through the cracks for a super long time you're do well that's nice thanks yeah no you are yeah okay you're one percent but no one looks at the success now you know with the show and all that it was like [ __ ] for him he's been around so long and I'm yeah I've been like no I think people were thinking oh [ __ ] thank God yeah yeah and there's certain you know I mean you can say all you want about Rick Ingram I think he's very funny yeah I think he does yeah I think he deserves something you know big nothing I'm not comparing you to him I just but there is things of theirs when you're a comic and you're in the streets you kind of know who I think we have our pulse more on what's going on day to day just comedy wise what stand-ups and it just takes so much to bridge that gap to the suits and the button pushers who really are these gatekeepers yeah there is it let me say something isn't it frustrating how few people are actually in the streets it's it's not only frustrating and what people don't understand is what you see in specials or who get [ __ ] isn't the best people it's what you've been fed sometimes it's great innit line yeah yeah once in a blue moon sure but those ones still are ones that deserved it like I mean it's like example louis c.k before you know the controversy when he got his do the ifc show and all the things that he was getting directing movies and all the deals and all that no one was ever going you know why why him you knew why all right that's it's a given right but then you see you know that one lady from I don't want to make fun of her because I'm not but she's from Australia yeah yeah that whole you know I think that the confusion with that is just that some people didn't you know it was labeled as a stand-up comedy and her whole thing kind of felt more like like a one-woman act and I think that that's where people will stand up nerds are like this isn't stand-up right it is it you're right jacent and I think the stand-up uris are frustrated that it's occupying the same space right right as stand-up and it's in the same discussion a stand-up it was a good it's a good it was she was good it's just good yeah I know I know I know you know who else is good Kier stefanov it oh she's funny all right and don't no one's giving cure anything yeah all right I mean youyou could you can push this canny lady because of her ideology and what she represents and I can I want that but all sorts of the coasts you know what I mean like anyone in the middle of the country go have you seen Nanette they're like what the [ __ ] is the name what you call me no offense sir I don't know she's probably a nice lady sometimes the coasts like to believe something is way bigger than it really is so you're in this bubble and we like to believe that Nanette is this [ __ ] worldwide smash yeah and it is with the HuffPo and whatever Twitter yeah coach chamber area yeah and it's like good for her and good for that Lane and everything but sometimes we make it this bigger thing than it really is I mean this is how crazy this disconnect is I think about I think I oughta stand for like maybe Drive or one of those movies that's awesome but it obviously can get input oh yeah oh it was terrible anyway but uh but I remember the cast are looking at my resume and go oh you've actually done something like she had no idea or was which you know which humbles you you know you spend 20 plus years you know in LA grinding it out still I don't know and no one knows who your honor right and so the people at on the top like even like the on the show that I'm on now the network people a lot of them they're just new relationships they don't know who I am they think I'm a new face yeah so you don't know long you have to do stand-up before like there are times like I've been doing it for a long time as I told you where people think hey this this and this new kid or I found out about this comedian like especially in stand-up yeah forever to be considered a new kid yeah you have to ride you have to be like a middle-aged man to be considered no a young whippersnapper hey stand up yeah yeah I mean there were people didn't have been doing open mics since the eighties still doing it still grinding it out I mean most of them are crazy right they there a little delusional were they don't really have it but um it's it's very difficult I love Mitch Hedberg joke where he goes a stand-up as part of my get rich slow plan yeah right it takes a long time yeah and especially in the club the club scene in LA it's not you have to just not only weather the open mikes right but then you have to like convince the Booker right and then you have to compete for like 15 spots a night like it's at the Comedy Store it's a possum yeah imagine being a new a great comic but coming to LA and going oh that's a clover sound even if you're a funny person just over so oversaturated so I don't like keep on chipping and chipping away yeah think about the other day isn't it nice that you were to point your career where you can just be you know cuz like I was think about my earlier to stand up and you're just trying to convince the world that you're as funny as you think you are and no one's gonna be the time and date you're like a ghost at these clubs people are walking through you you know but you just like oh I want to do this show and this the stakes are so high for things that are so small like on this bar show how do I get on it or the Booker doesn't think I'm funny or he got on it and you're like everything's a threat to you I give it open-mike in Century City and I there was a raffle it was an open mic I got last right so I don't wait till like 1:00 in the morning and then when it was my turn there's no one in the audience in any instance in the beginning right the guy guy goes hey you're not gonna go up I'm tired I know but there's only one more yeah I'm just tired no one's here but everyone else got to go up when there's no one right and then you get and then you drive home with such no in rage like it's no no I'm telling you something right now I'm gonna lean forward a little bit for this I've never felt I'm fine if you hit my car right you scrape it with a key right you pee on my foot I'm just to give you examples of the level of anger I'll be like what the [ __ ] don't do that right if you you know if Bryce was found out he was sexually assaulted raped in the bud he found out or you found out I found out he did it he assaulted he got it done to him unconscious yeah don't drink too much Bryce I would think you heard that I would get angry but there's nothing that mangers me more right then being slighted of a spot right or when when I hear you like hey someone's so bad mouthed you in front of this book or all right just the rage you know because when it comes to just my dream which is stand up yeah if you get in the way of that it just puts me in a rage dude like I hold it for years in my heart cuz it's your livelihood that's right and if you want to follow your dreams and investing use this new awesome app you guys I've always wondered how do I invest easy mmm you know cut the crap you know I don't want to sometimes I don't know Morgan Stanley or I don't know you know I mean I want to do it easy simple in my pocket you can now it's an app guys it's called Robin Hood whoa it's an investing ad that lets you buy and sell stocks ETFs options and cryptos all commission-free tell them about it well I know kalila has been using and she's probably can buy a Tesla next week well George and Bryce helped me out and told me which kryptos to buy and I currently have a well don't want to give too much but $1,000 in they're on different crypto but it really is a really simple way to to UM you know invest and to consolidate all in one place exactly so it makes it very easy it's very foolproof and you should give it a try so Robin Hood is giving listeners a free stock like Apple for to sprint to help build your portfolio sign up at Tiger Robin Hood calm that's Tiger Robin Hood dot-com now back to the show yeah I mean I can pack you know like George you do open mics right I can't imagine what you go through wait oh it's easy you know what you know what that means that they means that you're not really serious that's what it means it means that your heart Rayland because you need to have the rage and you know what's another another age you could be a frustration or I call it hiding yeah mines rage okay okay here's another thing when you're like at a book show or whatever it is early on yeah and there's a crowd and the guy before you is not that good you know you could crush it but he's so bad he's walking the room and then you don't get to [ __ ] perform in front of them yeah I don't like when they have a meltdown and then they just start going in on the audience like jokes aren't good I think they're Bill Hicks yeah [ __ ] above your level yeah morons don't get it I said I've said I've said this before by hate this is what I hate what women do sometimes like young girl huh huh they'll tell the Booker if your whole set hinges on a song right so no but then they do a funny dance uh-huh so they go up and do a funny dance and get the crowd you know mean go because they have this funny dance and then when it's time to just stand up they can't tell their jokes and they're so out of breath and I've seen that I've seen that I want you know what I wanted to do what time like you know how they do uh the black show at The Comedy Store on Tuesdays oh man it's not tripping on it I don't know I forgot it maybe Mets Mallos show yeah they have a DJ there's always a DJ back there yeah like I want to do a guest set sometime and like they play a song for me and then I could I just come out dancing to some like Drake song or whatever yeah cuz like a lot of them will dance and then going on for too long yeah like it's like up there dancing for the whole song like five minutes yeah yeah and then I just get off the stage and I walk through the crowd and I go into the or and do a set there dance pit stop do you do good in front of those rooms black shows yeah I have yeah but I here's what I don't like I don't like doing one demo for any stand-up show like I hate doing an alt show I hate doing an all Mexicans show I hate doing an all Afghan or like Middle Eastern show because the people in the audience there on one wavelength when you assemble a very particular group of people they just they respond and resonate they just want one thing yeah and if you're not that yeah it like fries their brain or it just takes a long time to for them to get on your level yeah so if you do a black show and there's like four black comedians before you there's a certain style and rhythm rhythm and I the confidence and attitude that they're accustomed to and then Fahim an or I'm like hey guys uh you know I try to just kind of have it up a little bit and sound I just don't know I've done that before it's so not [ __ ] organic walk around I just like doing black shows they're always like so supremely every comic is like very confident yeah you know just like prowling the stage like a tiger and just so much confidence and and I wanted there's no self deprecating black comic you know or that type of style I wanted to be a confident self-deprecating black home your parents are and you're way older than that and that scares the [ __ ] out of you is you ain't married yeah yeah like yeah I'm 35 years old you have some equity by now like really yeah I did Jade's Brazilian show well how was that I was eating it but then I just didn't know what to do so I just started yelling out Brazilian things right that's the only thing that I got laughs really [Music] uphill battle I just want it laughs I yeah I said it that way I got a lot of be myself and I just wanna like throw some ideas out there yeah I hate having to do tricks to be accepted you know and that's what a lot of those shows are like oh how do I figure out this scheme and if you're not getting paid like what's the point um cost I'm I'm melting down earlier my brother I just had this thought like my brother got me one of the best gigs I've gotten so far like there's like four grand to do some corporate gig for Toyota back in Seattle because he's a dentist and he's on the links like me yo hobnob with you know I own like a bunch of Toyota dealerships or whatever and he's like oh yeah my brother because they're looking for entertainment for their Christmas party it was like a year ago two years ago and then you know they're like my brother does a stand-up he could probably do he's like oh he's like yeah he's in movies and stuff and you can look at his IMDB yeah and you really like he talked the talk he like built me up yeah but I mean you I've done somebody and somebody who's not in Hollywood or whatever it seems like a gift or something so my brother there he worked out this thing what's a lot of money and I'm doing 30 minutes at this Toyota of Christmas event thing yeah like doubly like better than anything my agents have gotten me at the time you know so and it's for 30 minutes not an hour just normally like college geeks will be so I go to the event and sometimes a thing is just not they're not set up for stand-up yeah sometimes you look at these people who just like they like comedy and they think they could throw it on but they don't understand how many things need to go like the lighting the sound system so the seating this day the separation between the stage and the seating it doesn't take a lot but these are there's a checklist for a show to go well and the average person doesn't know what those that check they just like I would like to have comedy yeah you do comedy come and then like that's as far as they go was your ground level no it was like elevator elevated a little bit sounds kind of like whatever there was roundtables which is not good and they're getting food and [ __ ] and so I'm just doing my stand-up and they're talking cuz they want to mingle and stuff Oh Duke the money for grants blue star blue star yeah very fancy done you got them you'll be our where's the blue stores boost our ad there's one in LA cuz there's one Portland yeah 27 I have one yeah please thank you you don't you donuts no I do I'm full Oh what kind is this thanks Jules but next time work on your timing Jules and then in the middle of a [ __ ] story I'll just try this dark one wait I want to hear the rest of it so let me uh so okay now let me try to regroup here I'm not in the mood anymore what else is going on anyway I forgot what happened in that story okay so it's uh so uh oh you're a dealership right Christmas party or the dollar we're talking in the audience yeah round table if people want to mingle they're getting food and [ __ ] yeah not there right is your brother there no like my brother wanted to go but the guy just power moved him he was like I don't know there's enough spots or so what I mean my brother he cared that much to like push the issue so he wasn't there I'm up there doing my thing and I'm just I'm just talking over like white noise and I'm just smiling eating [ __ ] just like doing my comedy to a wall cuz I've been doing it long enough or I'm like just smile and get your check are you doing bits or you just if anyone's tuning in they're getting a show I'm not gonna pull them by the collar and I realized and that's just being a pro and being a veteran keeping your calm in that situation because if if you have a meltdown in its scenario you don't get your money if you're like [Laughter] [ __ ] [ __ ] am I here yeah if you have a meltdown and then afterwards the guy can just be like yeah meltdown up there your money people are angry that you snapped yeah so as long as you're just like doing your jokes into a wall afterward you like well thanks for the gig I still loved it hi is 30 minutes for great money yeah you do a lot of like music festivals nah no I don't like one or two oh okay well is it the same as like do they set you up for success at those things because I feel like those setups are always like out in the open right some are and some aren't like I've heard Bonnaroo does it pretty well cuz they'll do it in these tents and they're like good tents and people are there for car there and it's set up there's a good good system and all that but then I have some friends who have done the Vans Warped Tour and they said it was terrible because you right next to music so there's all this music bleeding into the tent and people are only in there to get out of the Sun so no one really ought to be there's a biological response like they're just trying to cool down but I've done Bumbershoot and they do it pretty well that's a good I like that yeah yeah I did a tamil tamale festival with Carlos Mencia on how is that it was strictly at the Holi festival it was a tamale festival outside of Houston and he goes bro um they speak English that was my first question do they speak English and I'm eating it eating it tamales are fig [Laughter] and I got so angry cuz when I got off stage yeah Carlos did his whole set in Spanish he [ __ ] me Oh I mean what were you gonna do do you really like tank load me up some Spanish [Laughter] [Laughter] yeah but no it was because the thing is I didn't have to do it because we were doing like an improv and that was just like a side thing that he was doing so I could have just said where he could have just said listen I'm gonna do it in Spanish yeah but he wanted me to just go up there yeah and I ate it hard man just silence oh man yeah man gigs those kind of but the money's so good and sometimes you can't say no yeah that was one of those I wasn't mad at the end I was like great I just look at my bank account I go this is awesome he did something similar where we drove up to Bakersfield your birthday party yeah and no one was there for comedy so everyone like you studies were around round tables and mingling no no there's no stage it's like dance floor that's so people have form a circle like you're like it's solid gold and you're about to do a dance I mean yeah and I have a mic and I made him go off he makes me open for him yeah people that were drinking and dancing to circle around me to hear me do stand-up for 15s like wrangle these people at Kobe you're like just you know bribe on see that's warm is circle I think what I love about just average people trying to put on a comedy show cuz they don't know what it's necessary and only stand-up is like that like nobody goes up to LeBron and they're like LeBron I was wondering I'm doing a party I was wondering if you do some basketball this party yeah and then the LeBron gets there and he's like where's the basket he's like I just thought you could just use this cardboard box maybe or oh you need a basketball you use this rock yeah that's what or you could go the other way where the corporate gig that you and Jeremiah did yeah where they were so hyper-focused but they were hyper focused because they knew Bobby was coming so anyone else that went came before him they just like fires they were trying to write get on I mean drama go up and the funniest thing I've ever seen in my [ __ ] life happened oh just just he's on stage eating it I saw a white man in a suit stand up and go in the middle of the set yeah what wow he went like it was almost as if like you know he was protesting like some sort of genocide or why that level of anger I don't know I mean Jeremiah and Jeremiah at that point when he was screaming we're doing a thing where he's on his back like wrestling a stool uh-huh standing there he's like in the middle of like a mug Greg is mugging a bit out right and act out yeah and this guy just stood up and I was laughing so hard in the back that's the beauty of being a stand-up is you can appreciate these moments yeah where everyone else would cringe we live for it cuz it's our friends I love when my friends bomb if there's nothing better it's it makes me laugh so hard yes I'll tell you like horrible like audition stores or whatever you're like you have so many it just makes you feel not alone out there cuz everyone has them or you know you hear stories from the old school guys and there was a comic named Joey Gaynor and his closer was his closer was he put two tennis balls in his mouth because he had big cheese right so they put he he would close with two tennis balls in his mouth in the Kings right but um a bunch of comics like put it in their ass yeah they spit on it you know pissed on a good come on you know man and so when joy Gators up there with the tent-like dick back I mean the three comics that were there just on the ground crying you know I just love stuff like that feel like inside you know but sabotage we have a 23andme one two three 23andme is the name for the 23 pairs of chromosomes that make up our DNA hey you guys you think ancestry is good it's not 23 meat is the future I've been used it I submitted my results of my spitting results the results right here what I found out a couple we to go that I'm 10% Japanese he's broke my heart 90% I'm kidding I'm kidding he loves the Jedi I love the Japanese loves that temperature I love it I love Kurosawa I have 90 percent Korean and what are some results that came out that you have the muscle composition of an elite power athlete no yeah him and I yeah initially I check my name is like you have like CCR's they tell you what your genetics tyst with a certain type of muscle the way you cackles like that is really makes me so [ __ ] angry yeah so I was really happy because I was like yeah I have the musculature of an elite power athlete and I was so sure Bobby wouldn't yeah I'm like this fat he's not I can rub it in his face heyno but it sure enough he does do yeah because I would have been if I didn't do this to my body he would be in the Olympics what sport I I am very athletic you don't know I just don't want to do it you know me I can wrestle I can do all that I got blue tennis anyway 23andme put it to me it just it goes beyond your ethnicity and you and and and it goes into like very specific details that you have you don't know much and things that you might be predisposed to like me I have a slight risk for early onset Alzheimers kind of scary but it doesn't mean I'm gonna get it it just means that like based on my genetics and it has so many things like that in so many fun things to discover about your genetics have you done it yet Gilbert no yeah me and George are waiting for ours uh-huh but uh guys Tiger belly listen up this Thanksgiving 23andme service kits are only $49 per kit when you buy two or more kits that's 50% off the regular kit price of $99 this holiday order you're 23 me service kit at 23andme calm slash Tiger belly that's 23andme calm slash Tiger belly know your stuff dude oh we love knowing our DNA you love it and where we come from yeah and also this these doughnuts the first one spicy was like I ate a jalapeno something oh my god didn't like it I want to try it Barmes Michael I love birthdays I'm 34 years old and what a blessing my life yeah what a blessing your life is something I've known her since she was twenty seven twenty eight twenty seven and nice and tight my neck skin was perfect no but you know what you know so funny you grew up with your face I grew up with my no I grew up watching looking at your face in the last five years Morris not more of I just no no your face never changes to me os your thing you know it's like there's my kalila yeah it's like you don't know matter I mean I guess if I compared photos and I was like analytical or about it oh yeah there's differences but no you you just you look at you know the one that you love and you go that's yeah that's what she looks like thank you yeah that should be a card [Music] when you see when I see people like even people have known for a while like it's Chris D'Elia for instance you you do with him there is a little bit oh you're older did you something about his face you know there's more veins that pop out of his eyes you know he has more like everyone he does he you know if those [ __ ] vein that's so scary yes when he gets angry those veins pop out of his eyes Julia has the same one it goes right across her forehead and into her eye it's a vein big one massive yeah yeah and then when I see someone like Marcus Hamilton mm-hmm I mean he can bleach the hair or get the tan and put the teeth in in the whole thing but if you look close building kalila the only way we know how to compliment yeah we can't say the nice thing for the nice thing yeah but we she went to the desert with the dogs do you ever go out to the desert went once for the photo shoot for the one-hour special we did a photo shoot out there like in around Josh feel at home when you're out there desert people I mean in what I just say this and I'm and I just you know excuse me for being all right but I was born and raised in America I'm an American as well as you are yeah correct yeah but you I mean does my body know if I'm in Korea does my body go ah yeah I get simple Conda like it's some sort of like historical like a genetic thing that I'm from there there's my body recognize that I think that sometimes it does and this happened to me my body loves humidity because I was born and raised in the Philippines so when I came to California and you don't have the same humidity I break out in like full eczema but you see when I go back to the Philippines or give me any humidity I am so pretty over here I'm drying crusty and ugly but if you were born here would you have the same effect you think I know that's just a byproduct of being there I don't know if it's intrinsic and your upbringing eczema psoriasis to go to Florida when they retire cuz it's better for their skin yeah but there's a lot of people who really really crumble with humidity I know like I don't mind being sticky or when it's very hot some people say it's just a little bit a heat and they just they don't do much it's too much instead of every three hours they don't thrive in that and that climate I do I love humidity I love heat yeah I can't ask him what I've never I think the first time we ever went to Vancouver it snowed there she's nursing snow before really and I think I cried because I my body just bones good and handle the coke ever since no before I had snow on like TV yeah I mean I had like you know being in the snow did that what was that was weird right yeah it was magical but my body did not do well at all it was it was a full shutdown mode I remember like buying three hot dogs from a cart and then staying in all day and just eating hot dogs yeah be around that once that was fun that was fun I want to ask you this question too for him yeah because I know that when you came to LA when you're early or you were working at Boeing yeah and you were an engineer mm-hmm right yeah I would drive up to the Comedy Store and try to do the open mic and the Tom you would play all these mind games you know likewise cuz there would be this list and he would make you wait in the back forever and then there would be times where I'm waiting until 2:00 a.m. oh yeah and then he would go in the back of me high or whatever just like give the list to somebody else and then it would always change between what he wrote to other people putting their their people in yeah and I wouldn't go up and then I want I finally had to tell him I go Tommy I I understand there's a system here and I'm all for it I'm I want to be part of it I want I'll play the game and all that but I mean I'm an engineer I've work yeah I work tomorrow but as an engineer how much did you get paid a year do you think like 60 to 63 entry-level thousand dollars yeah what would you do there at Boeing like give me an example of a day a day all right I come in no I'm interested because I use a today because you're not just don't I don't know what it's like being an engineer I don't know what it's like being 95 working for Boeing I want to know what you would do sorry you drive up you're going Institute drive up parking garage get out in Long Beach it's like on Carson and Lake what I still have my pass you do yeah I think I turned in but I like having it it's my glovebox so you you drive there you go through a little gate thing yeah so I park in the parking structure I get out yeah and then let me ask you this do you get you get coffee so here's the thing so one other thing yeah I'll go I'll go I'll go to like cafeteria I'll get maybe get some breakfast stuff you can do that sometimes um they have a cafeteria you could do them every time it is you're late yeah I still would push it though like here's thing I'd be like five minutes late and I've come with the eggs and like a coffee or whatever and you're five minutes late and then that's what I hated about engineering is that they're just stuck in the 50s you I have friends who are at Google and [ __ ] and they're writing razor scooters and jumping into ball pits and they're they're like take two hours of you time and you meditate and do whatever you want you know like yeah outside the box thinking and it's very hippie dippie yeah and then in engineering is like being your seat at eight o'clock o'clock out at such-and-such 42-minute lunch we had a 42 minute lunch yeah it's just so by the book and by the numbers that it's annoying it's not about the work you do yeah it's it's appearances so you sit there and I just other graphs in front of so I sit in my chair I have two monitors yeah two monitors you have monitors and what are they what's on the monitor one is surfing the web this is every cubicle job all right one monitor is for surfing the web the other one is for actual work and then everyone knows hotkeys that when you hear footsteps behind you like and then it's like wow you're googling when it's like [ __ ] rotors head is gonna be play yeah yeah yeah everyone do that's what I'm saying I said Porter said everyone has a [ __ ] off monitor and then everyone has a good work monitor what something you know how to do what's on the work monitor a graph or what's on it yeah you nail it's just a graph oh it's like it I mean I'll do the abridged version of what so I mean there's proprietary bowing software and so what I want to hear yeah okay so basically my job I work from the 747-8 freighter Lovett man passenger yeah and this is funny whenever I'm gonna burn somebody says what do you do I say engineer and the conversation stops so I like that you're at I never say comedian because they're like yeah yeah your idea what type of comic are when they go into jokes themselves it's like I have a cousin who's trying then just never end yeah I do engineering nice so 7 for 7-8 him and the freighter and passenger the way it would work I work in this stress analysis yeah the floor beams so we work on the floor beams and for the way it works is the loads would be passed through you would have a model of say because you're just updating the previous model right it's like they don't remake the Corolla they don't reinvented every [ __ ] time they just kind of improve on last year's Corolla right so we were just working them you start on the last iteration in the 747 yeah which is the 400 I think and then you just you run you wanted to be four different things like you wanted to carry more payload you want it to be a little longer to put more seats on it right so they just run the new loads or what kind of loads a plane would get with the new geometry and then you kind of see where it would fail you go okay this would pass in the old model yeah but because the geometry is a little different okay we need to beef up this section of the plane oh we need stronger fasteners here and then you you have design team who's over there and you go we need these type of fasteners or we need to make this a little thicker and they're like [ __ ] we can't do that because they have their own boss and stuff and they go we can't make it this that much thicker so you have to compromise with them so sometimes engineering dictates design sometimes it's Legos you're building a plane basically this and Legos I don't know I did this whatever long-winded yeah I mean I feel like you know but the thing is it sounds very complicated what I'm telling you know what he's saying I can't do but I can be the guy going to have these fasteners I'm like we can't no can do friend we are thick yeah yeah yeah but you it's just person you could get a high school kid to do this stuff though like that's a thing as I was smarter in college than I was I think it's true of everybody you're smarter in college than you are when you go into the industry you just get dumb because you work at a job and it's a very cookie cutter procedural you just become a monkey and you do what you're supposed to do from that job when you're in college you're kind of a jack-of-all-trades you know how to do everything could you have could you have been happier with that life no it was always a means to an end I know I'm just saying let's see just did that stand-up didn't exist uh-huh right and that's could you have grown at Boeing and become like the president that's that you can if you're passionate about this stuff I was just doing it so I could do the mic later The Comedy Store I support myself so I could be out here now laughs for your dad I did it for my dad well they were gonna pay for college and that was the lowest of you can get and still have them pay for it yeah so I was like and I want to be out in four years just so I can move out here but my real question is to you is this okay this is what I want to know is you came to LA you know Bry died yeah you know optimism you're an engineer you got a Boeing but you had conservative values yeah you did yeah sure right you were virgin what do I sit on that is that what I'm doing or no no you don't like I wanna thought you wish I cut it out yeah you do whatever I know I'm gonna do whatever I wanted Yeah right right how is that an embarrassing thing that you were a virgin what you were how is he saying it's embarrassing I know yeah yeah we're just more reserved than the average yeah you were virgin huh right you you you had your parents aren't Muslim yeah so yeah you you were a Muslim yourself yeah and you had those ideals and the values I still consider myself like I I know yeah but you're a little wild I don't know while you are what do you mean up while you're not you know you don't behave in that in that matter anymore look I don't pray five times a day or no but you you you only going to Duke Duke YouTube do point to it yeah yeah yeah what's that you [ __ ] whoa right you have get you know your mom you have your parents your parents still think you're a virgin I don't know while you were here before they don't I know they know you're an a listen you're in Hollywood oh my god I love that we're here because you're uncomfortable yeah I'm gonna do this because my where's that birthday cake you know what I want to do this I know it's a little uncomfortable I know you feel uncomfortable but I do love you and I would never expose I say anything that's gonna make you feel ashame shameful well on your way I'm not getting there I'm not getting there cuz I did well my questions are gonna be directed in a different direction now it's just practice just practice deflection I see yes Kellyanne Conway do your best job yeah yeah Just Answer answer however you've done some drugs uh yeah I mean I guess what you've told about that alcohol yeah yeah yeah marijuana I did that like three weeks ago yeah yeah first time no really yeah yeah yeah wait wait you got high for the first time I'm 34 can you believe what happened how did that happen I don't know I just it was a part of my identity for so long and then they were doing it you know where who uh my friend my friend is doing it was a comedian yeah tell me the front well I know she was doing it Michael oh jeez act Michael anoche and Zac yeah alright who are my friends as well right right we're smoking some marriage I sure their marriage is all right and you had never smoked pot before in your life reboot said that's un-fuckin'-believable by the way it's a month a month ago and then yeah let me take a toke with that reefer that's it yeah that's exactly what no what did you say cuz normally I always say no whenever they do it yeah but then for some reason I'll just like what is it you know and here's the thing there's a stigma it's tough being a brown person like yeah cuz I'm American and I mean that's kind of what Coface is about just being born here but walking that line of you still have this baggage and you still have these cultural ties so I know that world but I'm a I grew up on SNL I grew up on Kona and I grew up on Simpson so I have very American sensibilities you you're a [ __ ] an American citizen yeah and you're a free person I'm a free person yeah alright it's so [ __ ] you you're the other I'm somewhere between you and like a hard-lined it's tough I'm somewhere between Bobby and like a traditionalist okay like whereas you are just you and there's something lovable about that and unapologetically you and you can make free you're free free you're free thank you yeah it's very hard to even like talk about her you know it's nothing compared to what normal people do but there is this brown umbrella and it's hard to get under you know so yeah I tried I tried marijuana so so you did you get high yeah so I did it you know yeah yeah and then and then I cough you know yeah do you always call does it always happen because they just I feel like a cliche they were filming they'd be like let's do it more real this time does that always happen yeah if you'd always woke you know condition your lungs yeah yeah so if it makes you feel any better my mom tried for the first time in she's 60 yeah and she's oh he's always been really you know walk the very straight line did she like it she said she didn't get high but I don't think my mom knows what hiya she's a controlling person she's one of those people that if she ever did ayahuasca she'd be like I feel nothing uh-huh yeah she's just so in control of like her census and she has a OCD yeah I don't think that she can let go and experience I'm the same way like I think I'm too analytical for drugs like I don't I did it I think I got high I don't think it's for me oh wait so let me tell you so you you did it you coughed yeah and then what did you feel that's some time passed and and then I I kind of felt it taking effect well was it for me yeah okay so I think there's there's two things that happen there's when you're a very analytical person I just all start swimming inside my mind yeah and trying to figure out everything yeah you got to make sense of everything yeah and I can get lost in that I can like spiral into that world and just it's kind of like a little paranoia like stuff like that but then also I found myself having very very silly thoughts so I could jump out of that they're kind of like two rooms I kept balance between one is the analytical try to make sense of everything yeah and one is just let yourself be so dumb it's okay to be silly and just enjoy it so I would kind of walk between these two rooms some of the thoughts were very interesting like we were watching I'll tell you two thoughts I had while I was on it so we're watching like ESPN there was highlights going on and there was a guy he was like who's like number 11 yeah and I go you know you chose that number because it's September 11 ever say that I would never say that as me yeah it's not even you say things that aren't that don't warrant leaving your mouth yeah yeah marijuana if you just let yourself yeah and I think we're at a diner one time and the song is playing it go take a listen it's going on yeah and then I go you think they're done taking care of business yeah that and then I do this I do this on stage this thought I had I was like I was like you guys ever notice like September 11th you know like the Twin Towers kind of looks like an 11 is that why they chose that day you know yeah yeah your thought yeah and I go I go I go was it was it did they plan it for September 10th and like Abdul in the back was like yeah I don't think anyone ever thought that the towers look like an 11 they do look like an 11 it isn't it isn't it that's very interesting one time I when I was younger I bought weed from a guy from Caltech and I went to my Korean friends house and I watched the end of the affair dubbed in Korean for two hours I was transfixed I understood every single scene from beginning to end and as soon as it would it was then I [ __ ] myself and I think that the reason I [ __ ] myself as I was certain it was laced with something like it was still a so-so cuz he knew you [ __ ] yourself when you smoked weed I remember like just drooling in front of like a TV I wasn't feeling well and my friend but it was it was n of the affair with Julianne Moore dubbed in Korean when I remember it from beginning to end Wow maybe it wasn't weed then you know it was my miralax dealer you know 16 years sober I don't miss it I don't miss the suffering of being you know enslaved by drugs and alcohol but you do miss little moments like when you when you drop shrooms at one time I wish I was there with you yeah I was well it's even deeper yeah I wish I admitted mr. here's okay so I did shrooms once I know yeah this was before weed and the other reason I'm gonna listen to this they probably my mom was she's a big fan my mom just me anyway anything I do yeah yeah she won't track it down and find it can I just say this to your much mrs. Anwar yes sir ayah so Ryan Warren your your son is he's a professional comedian he's an American and to becoming an artist you know you have to be open yourself up and try new things and that's what he's doing and there's nothing wrong with it yeah these are just two outliers honestly like I've only done weed once and I only did shroom once and I was in my 30s for both of them yeah Wow yeah and part of the reasons I did shrooms is just cuz you know he's like Ari Shaffir is a big shroom guy yeah and we'd be talking to the store and he goes you know a good blow his mind that I had never done marijuana he said you do shrooms before we eat I don't think anyone's there done he wanted to do it as like a pioneer or yeah yeah and there was a novelty to that yeah he's like oh that's interesting yeah I guess and then somehow it came up the upper guide in have anything going on and they were gonna do it at Benji's grandma's beach house in Malibu yeah so it's like a nice place by the water it's safe it's like everything aligned yeah and I I fought it too and but somehow he's kind of wore me down or and then I I was curious and I just wanted to jump you know so much of being a stand-up like when I left Boeing and was being more or even just leaving my house like upon graduating college because I lived at home the whole time pretty sheltered all I knew is my my parents house and it's just being open to new experiences and not just being Miley Cyrus for a year or two you know like just not being so closed off and I think being an artist kind of affords you that open mind instead of just being a drone and going in and out and not just your dad yeah you and me both so so yeah I did the I did the shrimp was just uh yeah to kind of see what it was and that was too much for me man like there was there's the first half in the second half first half it's very bad yeah I know I heard you disappear no no man that disappeared for like this appeared it was calm like on the you're coming you're coming too you know yeah and then everyone sits on the couch just kinda like they dropped rooms right re-solder ng is there you and Matt Edgar's a skinny white kid from Orange County and they drop shrooms and he just disappeared you have nothing man for six hours yeah you just don't know where you don't even care huh seems like a shrooms Pro though yeah problem did you even care where he was or no I think we were too wrapped up in our I mean I was at least yeah I didn't have my wits to be like my friend right here yeah what am i holding so what was the first half like first half is bad cuz i just think too much man and that's not good what like for drugs i don't think it's good if you think a lot exactly why I steer clear to I just have to you just can't let yourself go yeah exactly yeah I'm too controlling and I don't want to make sense of everything yeah and when you're on that [ __ ] it's just sort of like I'm trying to figure out life the universe god stuff it's like we're human though it's like dividing by zero yeah and it's just it's scary like there's it's I don't have the answers and I want them yeah yeah I'm trying to figure it out thinking I can I'm a calculator with no CPU and I'm just I'm just kind of like going down this deeper and deeper inspire like spiral and then like Benji's on the couch and he could sense he would try to draw me out of it you know he'd be like it's a minute yeah Bruce on the couch is like an anti-drug PSA you know just on the couch and then like I'm on a chair and I Steve ng look over he's like oh you don't [Laughter] yeah like that would be like a montage like on drugs yeah yeah yeah and then and then like Ari Shaffir was laying on the sofa yeah and he saw the whole thing going down he's like let him be let him go down yeah he needs to like either like yeah yeah enable yeah all right like what's good or bad what's supposed to happen is supposed to happen he's like let him go down let him do a thing so when did it shift the second half the second half of it is when things started becoming so funny like I've never laughed this hard in my life yeah silly man everything was so funny dude yeah yeah like uh like just giggles man like everything was the funniest thing the world like I can't get these words out you know I'm like like you guys know how long it was a drink like eight glasses a lot like I barely drink any water okay like maybe I have a look at a cup of water or like yeah and then there was another like just everything I'm not a very visual person or like when I paintings don't really do anything to me I go to a museum and I'm like that's interesting like I don't I don't understand these people who just like look at a painting for like a half hour you have their wife and they're like yeah I was like okay that looks like a thing yeah I'm done with it but for some reason on shrooms like they would uh I couldn't stop looking at paintings Wow like the color is a pulsating stuff and I started noticing a lot of things that I I never would so Bert yeah and yeah and then Ari and I like there's this one painting hanging up in his grandma's house where this guy has like a trench coat and maybe it's a famous painting or something it was their dog in it I don't know yeah it was like a guy a trenchcoat and some things and it looked and we're analyzing it mean Ari Shaffir just like analyzing it on shrooms and we're just kind of like riffing on this painting and it for some reason I go look we came up with Lego looks like I got a knife salesman oh yeah yeah and I go that's like a terrible way to get knives deals made haven't a trench go it's like I wonder why I'm not getting any business like dark alley with a trench go yeah like hiding them in a trench and you were saying that yeah and then he was doing yeah yeah I was laughing so hard and then when did Matt Edgar show like did you start noticing things you you just accept as part of life yeah when you're not on it like he just decorative stuff she had in her apartment she had this like vase with these bamboo things these bamboo things sticking out of it and then I just walk out there I got like somebody's like oh yeah I need a vase with some bamboo thing that's arbitrary yeah like we all accept it as this decorative piece yeah but to me I just saw for the absurdity it was I'm like there's a vase with bamboo shoots in it you laughed at that yeah yeah yeah yeah just like crying and yeah but the first half it's too much I don't know so that's why I'm like scared to do it again for that first half and then at the very end we're all coming out of it and then Matt Edgar comes through the front door and we're like executive producer yeah yeah I was mad smooth good everyone was fine yeah yeah I just kind of yeah Wow and I wasn't like and the thing is I'm I'm not I'm like out I'm not outwardly like I just go in and quiet cuz I I didn't want to ruin anybody else's you know it's like my [ __ ] or it's my I didn't want to ruin what what they were trying to do or their trip like they their own thing going on so I would just like it very quiet and kind I didn't wanna be like guys you know if I just thought if if if I was diagnosed with a disease where I was dying that is one thing that I would want to do again do you think that would be okay or no mushrooms or shrooms yet look if I if I had like some sort of cancer and it was I'm gonna die I would probably call Ari and a bunch of guys and got listen I have someone saw him on a sobriety but I'm dying I want to go out to the desert and I wanted to just take some shrooms I think that shrooms can be a really like positive you know kind of tie it you can have a lot of Revelations you can have like a silly moments I think but a lot of like revelations do and a lot of closure maybe and a lot of like peace if you're somebody who's terminally ill I guess you go both ways you could become out of it like terrified of the fact that you're dying or come out of it like feeling peaceful about it yeah it depends but one thing I did I I noticed like weed was kind of a lesser version of shrooms for me like I didn't I wasn't free falling I could pull myself out of that on like on weed yeah yeah the only thing about smoking weed for me is there's certain strains that really throw me into anxiety and panic and that's what I can't I have a hard time getting myself out of and I used to smoke weed a lot but when I would get thrown into a panic I would just the only way out of it was to like double down on alcohol which is like a bad system that I had all together with the last time I did it I had a really bad panic attacks I called - oh my god I was in the hospital just really [ __ ] high and I was so embarrassed I was like okay I can't do this I ate and a massive I should have done it instead of waiting to get high before going to bed I ate a massive cookie can I've done edibles before but this one was particularly strong I didn't think twice about it and then I went straight to bed and I woke up and I couldn't breathe and I was just so confused and I was living alone at the time and no one was there to help me so I was just freaked the [ __ ] out I didn't know my own surroundings it was just a really weird weird thing and they just went down a hole there so you don't do drugs I used to do a lot of weed oh you know not anymore mmm socially sometimes if people are doing I'll do it like one hit but I don't like I like being control oh I'm glad I did those two just do we together I don't know I don't love it like I just don't love it you know like it's not I'm not like I can't wait to do that again it was fun to experience I don't much like you so weird no desire I don't I just want to escape reality really you know and I don't like losing control that's my problem I think that's part of why I'm anxious to is cuz when I live if anything is like psychoactive and I deviate from my baseline I freaked out because I think that already my baseline I kind of I sometimes I think I see things that aren't there or sometimes I get this like surge of adrenaline so if I if I'm not you know what I mean I'm somebody who could really go over the edge uh-huh like I feel like I would stab my own heart if I had dropped acid I'd be one of those I'd take an ice pick to my shoes and it's like a snowball it's like a high drug PSA because a wet dream like if you did that they'd be like yes you pull an Elliot Smith yeah I would be one of those people that would go into taking acid going in saying don't stab your heart with an ice pick don't stab your heart and then end up stabbing my heart with a nice because I'm so fixated on that thought of not doing it that's where Mike I'm such a [ __ ] I'm my head goes there too often into like dark spaces so I I'm not good with it what did we learn today so much here's what I did learn about you man what I learned about you today is that I I I think I'm I think you gotta become a very big star I really do I'm getting emotional a little bit and I really like you thanks Bobby I really do and what are we doing at time we're over an hour are you wrapping up yeah because I want to do the because I have to get up at 6:00 in the morning just FYI you know on the sitcom I'm on they give me five lines in episode but for some reason they like somebody said something to somebody which I didn't say anything and then they're like just give every single line in this whole episode to him that's this week I'm like in every scene it's the whole thing is about god I hate it when is that episode come out probably December okay just making sure everyone has to and I we might get cancelled I don't see that like tomorrow but the Navy but they also they might give us five maybe I don't know but if you know what guys if they do cancel it I just wanting it I know Tiger belly fans thanks for trying palpable but get something else and if not I'll just do the road and if not I'll just be me I'll be alive but you know it's great there's power and like doing this and stand up and you'll always have everything else is Isis when Rogan says for sure I'm my eyes are open now dude like I started my own podcast and stuff and I I realized the end of the I have the podcast I have stand-up and that'll never change everything else is just sort of bonus bonus points yeah and you have no control over that other all those other things like sure if they like you they like you but it's great to be in control of your own destiny you don't have to audition to be Bobby you know yeah yeah and just know this is giving me a platform but it's also can I say something it's that's easy and how many episodes have we done that's a hundred sixty six hours of me talking that's talking about what yeah but it's not you prepping in like learning all these lines and think about all the hours you've put in to things that haven't panned out not to say it was a complete waste of time because you are who you are and you've gotten the things you have gotten yeah yeah yeah same mega what you're saying yeah yeah but it's this isn't wasted effort you have the gig every time you do it yeah this is something that we did too this is ours for sure and it's inspired me you know like seeing how come you haven't you have guests on your show I've had Aristotle on I will I want to have you on eventually I've just gotten started that would be nice yeah but I would love to have you ask if you know if you're gonna do it I think you're too big time you really think that you honestly do you think the iceman time to do your podcast well I'm only seven episodes in so who have I done I've done Candice Thompson's podcast she's a great podcast if I've done it right yeah I've done what's that one old that guy that with the best foot don't know what's his name no he's a good guy the one who'd not collapse yeah yeah I did his podcast Karl Karl okay here's 11 viewers million 11 thousand sometimes someone will have so few listeners on a podcast like maybe they have like four you can be like if they ask you to do is say you just wanna do a conference call Google hangout or easier I've done I've done anyone that asks I've done it that this is true cool because actually they ask him directly cuz he's I don't think he's ever said no in his life yeah and also no it's not even that but no because there are gigs that are they have they promote that don't show up to and everyone knows that uh-huh but with podcast I always show up because even if it's ten people I can get five of them yeah till this into Tiger belly alright I do my [ __ ] part Gilbert what's an unhelpful advice questions on helpful advice with Bobby kalila at muhib and wah hi gang I'd like to ask you how you deal with moderate levels of success my current level of income is on the upper end of six figures [ __ ] projected to increase to seven by the end of the end of the year yeah I am 18 and I work in the AG industry agriculture I feel as if I have peaked and I barely graduated high school emotionally I'm empty my friends refuse to accept any business ventures that I offer them because they don't want any higher degrees of responsibility any other people that want to be my friends are white but don't have an understanding of the physical and mental aspects of hard work the short of it is how would you deal with the sense of loneliness that is accompanied with monetary success PS I'm playing with the idea of opening a comedy club in Paso Robles California would Bobby be interested if I would do it 100% me if he came will do it yeah his name is Dee he will do it and can I say this you're 18 great yeah you're your hum I got you [ __ ] idiots you're ahead of the you know what it is though no matter how much success one gets we find ways to be like to get back in that place negativity happiness I find that too like today I was just like kind of brooding around set because I found out we may not be get picked up and this and that when you know I got two years of a show I didn't even audition for yeah that was just handed to me right and I can just [ __ ] be a little [ __ ] about it that's the thing about Hollywood it's so like you know Thalia and Brent and our friends and their unattainable for for three seasons yeah and then it doesn't you know it ends yeah and you have to it's just the thing to do in Hollywood where you go hey sorry about your show you go why the [ __ ] but when you do inventory you go yeah this guy got to make this much money for pretending to be someone else for three years yeah yeah I'm not sorry yeah I said that but we do that song everything comes to an end but like three years it's nothing is great two years of something that's awesome I kind of think that I that is a fear though of like even someone like Bobby he's he's comfortable so he lives a very indulgent sort of lazy life where he doesn't time's want to get up and write and do things that he knows he needs to do because he is comfortable chocolate my fingers like yeah where's his comfort now look at that when you saw I'm gonna give her two different doughnut this is two chocolate or like people who like win the lottery and like off themselves yeah yeah but that's not this case in this case this guy right he's an agriculture he just mentioned he worked hard this guy woke up early in the morning and grinded it out yeah right he plowed use his hands right and he made this money okay yeah he did it's not it wasn't a fluke right here's a hard work gained you know this like-minded individuals more entrepreneurial type people maybe the comedy club sounds like that's something exciting don't wants to if not that then maybe something you know whatever strikes his interest you know yeah money to do it now maybe you know start pulling from a different pool of people outside of like your high school friends for the one he's like the monkey who can talk you know like the Futurama episode open up the comedy club D we're all play it and when I see you don't [ __ ] will hog will [ __ ] spend a weekend together [ __ ] around alright but let me say something right now you're in a good place keep working hard make a lot of money bury people go ahead marry people that's a good one hey bobbing friends I've noticed you guys have a few dogs any given time and I'm sure you're both busy with your jobs and schedules with that being said my wife and I have four animals two dogs and two lizards I work in a copper mine for 12 to 13 hours a day for a day for days and nights a week and my wife works full retail a retail full time we just found out we're having our first baby my question is how do you guys juggle work life and having so many animals to take care of I just need some advice I'm at a loss and I don't really want to give up my animals at all Thanks well don't give your animals just don't get anymore and abort the baby I'm Duncan yeah it still drinking I got that don't abort the baby it's past 12 weeks definitely yeah yeah it's killing a human well almost the two lizards you can I like lizard lizard to grieve ass clicks yep you can you know release them don't release them give them some I know buddy I feel like it's like you know you have a lizard and you go hi Toby all right you release it a year later you get another lizard you go hi Toby it's the same feeling that's good right I don't think there's any the thing is this yeah let me just let me just listen to this point it's like fishies yeah it's like a fishy like one of those little emo clown fishes well Elmo's what they call you mo what are they called Nemo Nemo or the fish or the Dora is that right yeah the blue skinny one Dory yeah Dora or whatever guy right and Nemo Nemo right if you had those fish and they looked at you I don't think what they I think they just see this gigantic like blobby circle maybe they see a little bit of energy aura but they don't go that's Bob and you're wrong more studies are finding that the studies along the way they serve Affleck awesomest name a me and when mammy died I cried for two weeks also I used to have a desert tarantula for saying my desert tarantula died I cried for two weeks when my two green bass clicks died cuz my my stupid roommate put like grade spray into the cousin she didn't like that we had lizards I cried for two weeks let me ask you something yeah if you had a limb be honest and don't you say anything kalila let me ask you something be real yeah if you had a lizard right yeah and you felt it like you fed it like pop nuggets I don't know what they hope I don't they like bug nuggets sure right yeah and then one weekend you're like Bob I'm going on the road can you come around my house and feed my [ __ ] lizard bug nuggets right and I did it you think that the lizard would go where's Fahim he's like oh [ __ ] there's bug nuggets again the bug nuggets and all right attached to the hand right yes well that's what I'm saying is I think a dog is basically like where the [ __ ] my master you only love things that carry they're like soldier comes home to lizard and the lizards long beach once in this man had a massive pet iguana and he would carry it and hug it and it would run into the sand through the center to its owner only to its owner no no no but anyways I'm what you're saying is you can only love things that show human love back - no I love this little table goldfish greets soldier but it's just one in the bowl of yeah that's it that's a very good point very funny you're all bastard so dude get rid of the lizards but the dogs you know I mean that's my advice so watch kfe teams um sketch this one our sketch comedy special called goat face November 27th that's a Tuesday after Thanksgiving it's a one-hour thing I'm head writer on it a minute my buddies are in it we should do YouTube stuff and then a song got Daily Show we all got busy we thought it was done and then I'm so glad that we got to like come back together and do this again yeah I do stand up a new sketch so I'm glad that I finally have this outlet it's a dream come true and I'm happy like there's two things that I wanted in my comedy career I got I want to die but if I do die it's nice knowing that I have a one-hour special out there there's a footprint it's called there's no business like show business it's on Amazon Prime right now and then the sketch special it's just nice to have a comedy footprint and that's what I do if people don't like it then it's okay they don't like it but that's kind of what it is and there's no ambiguity anymore I honestly believe this thing is gonna be a series mm-hmm I think there's a tester for them but it is so relevant when I look at it I go yes this is mm especially in the climate that we live in now yeah and I love that we can address that you know but then I have very American sensibilities as well you are an American I am an American you know you know when I went about the past or the other night and you saw I'm just talking about whatever no puns yeah that's like 90% of who I am as a comedian so they're just they're just regular there's this regular comedy in there as well it's all brown yeah remember huh we were both in the movie Antioch two people I was chef Topher and you're that look I the mystical guy anyway him can I promote my podcast - no will you do it sometime - please no it's called lifting he-man or dance our we're gonna cut that out on iTunes yeah it's on iTunes Spotify that's have you done are you gonna do it with all things comedy or no I did the Lance one with them but the Lance when I haven't done for a long time I just kind of let it atrophy I did that one with them but you just do it on your own probably on my own and keep your options open mmm yeah interesting so there's trying to build that up and okay you did it thank you you plugged all this other [ __ ] out of everything God take care friend thanks dude enjoy life everyone listening enjoy your life nosotros papaya science mmm friendship community resolutions mm-hmm behemoth monstrosities creating nocturnal images of darkness thanks for listening good night thanks everyone thank you to our sponsors rich wallet for 10% off your slim sleek right go to Ridge of all cough it uses the code Tiger Valley to get your free stock from robin hood go to Tiger Robin Hood calm and for 50% off your 23andme kit order at 23andme dot-com slash tiger belly and guys if you haven't already bought your merch buy your merch now it's probably sold out but if not go check the website at that tiger belly dot-com and they'll cop yourself some stuff so make sure you check it all off Fahim stuff and you can follow clout instagram at kilometer kay George Kimmel at Bryce at E and Worcester handles at Fahim an orc everything and everything Bobby Lee you guys have a good night [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 168,373

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, all things comedy, fahim anwar, stand up, sketch, comedy central, goatface, hasan minaj, interview, lance cantstopolis, laugh factory, dance, uber, stand up comedy, comedy, funny, joke, hilarious, asaf ali, aristotle athiras, wrecked, daily show, snl, late night

Id: d_w9kM3koM4

Length: 95min 44sec (5744 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 08 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/PugLord911]

That engineering story was unexpectedly intriguing af

[u/AnUnhelpfulVice]

The premiere thing was cool. 10 AM might not be the best time for a live chat though

[u/BlackDickOFFICIAL]

Ridgewallet. Hory shit!

[u/BattedSphere]

I love Bobby and hate Bobby.