A Demon God? | TigerBelly 149

[Music] [Music] - hungry sweet Omaha today Avant open old single Ramudu are buying the evolution dr. Bali take a banana tiger belly life juices energy within you without you on the outside on the inside on the outskirts on the upper lower register whoa of your psyche soccer soccer it's it's haikus it's poetry it's things that just flow out of me Gunners and I'm gonna tell you something right now this Tiger belly situation has really gotten to my head I'm really peaking even think that I am this love king like a messiah no like a demon God a man or a demigod no demon God oh I didn't we misspelled it I'm a demon God okay oh god no I'm a demon God this is Japanese accent still buddy no I really it's gotten to my head i RI I was in San Antonio right I go up on stage and people yelling nosotros papaya yeah George is a pink dick-slap King all this stuff and these are and and then after I meet these people and I'll do things like I'll touch their face and go this year is gonna be your ear and they their eyes get all jiggly you know they vibrate they get jiggly and they vibrate and they look at me and they go really yeah and they say nosotros provided me and there's something that happens I was at the airport with a little Punjab kid that I opened for me a song oh he's from Bangla and whatever I can't I don't know the rest it's a nickname I don't know the rest of that ela - whatever he's from there and these two guys they're in uniform and their military and they said they were trembling and they said Mr by a slep gang you would take a photo and I put my hand on one of the military guy's chest no just listen understand and I said fortune and he goes and he goes what that's what I would say yeah yeah and I go you I just gave you fortune and then he looked at me goes thank you like I really did something and I said $20 because thank you no he's gonna get $20 away that's what the chest on hand their chest means oh wow it's really getting into my head I really need to take a break or something I need to take I need to take like you know a humility break mmm because I look in the mirror I don't even see me anymore what do you see I see just aura you see like a glow what color is that it's the color of diabetes and like kidney disease gosh and my neck hurts so bad yeah and and then there's a guy there was a couple of guys in San Antonio who come every time to San Antonio to see me and they there are seven foot nine they both weigh 300 pounds and they're they have gigantism I don't know what they have like Antonio Silva yeah but they're always in the front door like these he talk like these hey Bobby yeah like these where are they from I don't know and they take me to Kotok tacos yeah so I have gigantism people and they could crush your eyes they can crush you know gigantis people dick yeah they could crush you yeah like Andre did the giant let me tell you something right now too you know when Korea beat Germany I was really happy for Korea because we got to help another brown nation people get through to to the last 16 we really helped them and what happened was if you don't know if you're not following the World Cup Mexico lost to Sweden so they were out of the World Cup and Korea had to beat Germany which was never gonna happen because Germany are the champions powerhouse right but what did we do we went 2-0 it was a miracle like a Disney movie right and then Mexicans what Mexico you know what the Mexicans did he honored us oh great you know what they did they picked us up yeah and they [ __ ] ran around with us on their shoulders around town amazing saying thank you thank you you know and in New Mexico City you know they went to the embassy and they'd the chancellor or whatever's korean chancellor they brought him out they did shots of tequila with him and they picked him up like it was a [ __ ] puppet you know they were what something yeah and they don't do that that random Korean guy yeah who everyone wanted to take a picture with yeah he just allowed people to like basically like idolize him oh I would it was like it was like receiving all the love with like yeah I did like I said he did something goalkeeper no no some random guy in Mexico Korean dude Jisoo was getting taking selfies with people because people were like what cuz he was Korean that's you know what I would have done hold my dick out suck oh my suck it we would suck it off you really want the last 16 that's what I did suck it so you know where I was I'll be honest with you I was caught up on the heat I was caught on the end the hype in the air and all that I was so happy for Mexicans I was so happy for Korea it was it just felt you know what the World Cup is supposed to be it connects people but then I saw this [ __ ] ya know there's hundreds of photos by the defendant its Mexicans doing Chinese eye things into a camera right they not Korean i things what why do you say - why did you specifically say Chinese look at the way they're being they're backwards directly back Chinese oh yeah this yeah they're up a little up but I so I posted this photo on Instagram and there was a pretty and I don't want to I don't want to give up so this it's a photo of a bunch of Mexican fans of their team in their jerseys and they're doing Chinese eyes and then why did you pose because I wanted to see what the comments would be and Nick Youssef probably trumped everyone else that what he said did you take this photo from stage very funny that's good right one of other guy goes which one is you which is a very funny one that's good but there was um a lot of Asians mad and there's a comedian named PK I want to read his comment and this is the tone of a lot of Koreans okay I glad you posted these he doesn't have it no he doesn't mob which is very American I know Bob wood okay fine this is P can I just make a schoener his inner Asians coming up yeah now your Portuguese how rooting for Mexico I just sort of Mexican yeah turn Mexican all right no I'm gonna sort of a try your best yeah I gradual I got your Portuguese okay are you rooting for Mexico become more Mexican showing career love after we help them advance I love all Mexican except these [ __ ] doing slant high and trying to pass it off like no big deal eh what does that mean let me say that again the most the most unoriginal she people have been making for Asian for so say we're four century I st. cholo come on with something no [ __ ] idiots that's the sentiment yeah and can I say you know what my opinion is at the end of the day it's funny yeah I don't care at the end of the day it's a truth a small tiny minority of people doing that so I think that it's actually kind of you post what you want to post but there's already so much like division in this country and it's like we keep pointing out differences and things that like hurt our feelings we never kind of reach out and see the humanity of it for starters yeah they should come up with something more original that's dumb but that doesn't speak for the you know from any of the Mexicans I know like they would never do that I guarantee you that wasn't in LA in Mexico know anybody who would do that that's like a total of let's say even if it was 90 people 90 dumb [ __ ] wouldn't speak for them but no it wasn't just 90 first of all a couple of TV Telemundo I heard about yeah they got fire or like I'm suspended yeah they did that too on air on air so what I'm saying it's not just 20 people it's hundreds of I've seen hundreds of photos of that and I'm going to just just tell you it's weird it's like holy [ __ ] they saved us it's weird do do in there I like that it's also like is that a thank you 1997 yeah because I kind of tokenized the idea of like the Asian person it's like it's still you're still let unique though you know you're still a chino you're not really like from from like i think all my Asian friends are called Chino at some point one point in another yeah like that's all you are really yeah Isaac Mencia used to call me Cochino I could she knows different that means nasty like you're dirty like a pig yeah I know but I'm Korean Korean and I Machino so they would say Cochino so I was like two things yeah that's why I never got that always got Buddha's delight what look what always call me Buddha's delight like those in Georgia like there's a restaurant called Buddha's the hall that's why yeah that's bad so yeah but what I'm saying is even though that's [ __ ] up you posting it makes the sentiment like feel stronger and I can feel like it like at this point in time like can we just look for more things we have in common versus things that are gonna piss oh so what I did was wrong no no no I'm not saying it's wrong it needs to be to get organized that Sarah Silverman liked it Silverman doesn't like any of my [ __ ] is the first pose that's the first of all she light generally Koreans and Mexican I'm gonna realize all the topic I'm gonna read off all the car I'm gonna just show you who liked the photo in terms of comedians okay he doesn't matter he doesn't matter he doesn't matter Yvonne that matters Michael Rosenbaum that matters he doesn't matter what happened what's going on is it because I said here like that no I this is how I sweat every day of my life because we sold out basically thank you yeah thanks everybody for selling our buying our t-shirts that's great are you gonna love it it's great fabric it's made out of wool skin absolutely it's not a wolf it's a little war for what Wolf's again no no wolves are no it's synthetic wolf skin ok you think that you have stalkers or well it does all what am i hearing George you people that like you who saying this well your dad what before the ring you said that there was like three or four people that an Instagram there's a there's a cult following growing have a George Kimmel pink dick and people are there was a there's a small handful of five people that were out of the 4,000 copies out of the 4,000 copies five common and growing and growing people demanding for a Jewish multi shirt could I just say at the bar this morning where we watched the the game there was one guy there who who recognized me local local in Echo Park at the holloway and what'd he say he said hey walked over he's like you you're George I can't even remember his name it sounded like yogurt use your [ __ ] ass all that yeah and then you know hey look at me take the picture he was wearing a brazil jersey no not a chance Wow but III honest also believe and maybe I'm wrong but because of the Salani I think they lost today well they lost is Sweden 3-0 that's sure I'm pretty bummed about it Brazil look great I think they look great at this point who do you think is gonna be in the in the fiim fine well you can't you you're not gonna be able to I think Belgium is a Belgium Belgium France Oh Doug why Uruguay is a huge contender I think England still has a chance England you think yeah France does big time France and babay whatever his name is right there yeah the World Cup this year is the craziest one I've ever seen not that I've been following it for maybe four World Cups that follow to five but this is out of the five that I've seen is the bunk it's bonkers I mean look at who's out Spain do their juggernauts Germany Argentina Argentina Portugal I guess is Portugal no I wouldn't say Portugal is one guy one guys and weirder is that Italy Italy doesn't have a team the u.s. u.s. is not even in their elite in qualifying that's that crazy you know else is a qualifier the Netherlands I know the Netherlands there are a fixture and because all those guys yeah I mean they I don't know who who's that flopper van persie vamp Rosia he's too old all those guys I on robbing a person all those guys are old van der Vaart you know but they were great it's a bonkers one and I also need people listening right now if you if you live in the LA area hopefully we got we got to give a little fit or a home I love them and you know what strengthened my love for him was I saw the movie I love dogs if you have if you're a Wes Anderson fan so good you have to watch I love dogs he dude the dude is I mean I don't know if it's I don't think the mainstream America will get it but he uses a lot of like music from like the original like back in the Godzilla days little Kurosawa music there's just certain things that he uses you just even visually that's so him and yet authentically Japanese and just creative and it's just a great movie it really is great I love that so much I've seen it twice already yeah it's not hereditary do you see hereditary yet yeah oh yeah you saw yeah yeah but um yeah it's just uh it's it's bonkers out there you know and today I'd let you guys know that um I went into work today for the ekend season and I'm sitting I once I walk in the guy Dean was guy named Dean Holland who is the reason why I'm on the show cuz he worked at love he brought me over he goes it come in here and that he we walk in the room and guess who the hired as a producer you're not gonna know but I'm gonna tell you a guy by the name of Scott sights Scott Seitz was my producer at MADtv for eight years Scott Seitz was there at the intervention when I was on drugs Scott sites was there when I [ __ ] in dick masucci's office he saw he was there when I [ __ ] in Ike Barinholtz dressing room he was there when I farted in krysta Flanagan's mouth this guy was at every single important moment in your life no because he was the guy to call me or put me in his office and go Bobby why did you do that he was that guy so I've left some when I saw him obviously the hug was deep I love this dude he's my friend and he was my boss so then we sit down with Dean and now let me just say this okay when I was on MADtv I was a nightmare like I'll give you an example we were sponsored by Yaris in the car yeah the tiny car is Toyota Toyota Yaris so what mad tv would make us do is you know if we wrote a sketch or whatever they go won't you're gonna have to say to your to your nose in the sketch I'm like alright I will but do we get any money [ __ ] no we're getting the money oh right so arm we've got to go Abe Betty you want to go on a date in my Toyota Yaris Wang wink wink it was like terrible so a couple of weeks later I was just fed up with it and we had one Toyota Yaris that we used in every sketch that's so we I stole the keys that he Toyota Yaris and I had Jordan Peele and Ike Barinholtz come in the car let's go for a joyride they took it down an alley and I scraped it against a [ __ ] alley wall yeah and I did six thousand dollars of damage underneath the car and I brought it back and it was like the thing was falling apart that's how crazy I was and I parked and I go there you go and they were like oh just I couldn't believe it my behavior do you get fired oh because I do it I did it because I didn't fire me you can't do it in the beginning yeah in the beginning a fire you heard that but you know you you know where you're in any job testing boundaries well you go this yeah I can do this it was not good but so Scott saw that riot geez hey so now we're sitting down with uh this now now when I'm on splitting up I am on time for that one except for that one time I was late I'm on time I'm you know I'm court I know everyone's name I'm so nice I don't fart in anyone's mouth I haven't [ __ ] on anyone's floor I haven't crashed in a British car I'm like people think I'm a Christian there yeah god bless you have a fruitful day I say [ __ ] like that have a fruitful yeah they go what I got he also put his hand on my chest I said good $20 yeah and then so we sit down with this guy Dean and then Scott goes oh my god I gotta tell you this one thing that he did and I go stop I had to yell bet it's not and I told they don't know they don't know that he said I know but he took his eye go you can't say that he was in he took his dick out and peed on somebody Oh what up right and I wanted it ended and then Dean goes I know that oh yeah that's how he used to be but he's not like that here which is great but um it could be bad I mean he could get drunk with them tell all the stories and tell the stories but you know if I'm not like that now right that's gonna affect me a man can change right a man can improve and and realize his past you know aggression transgression right questions be fruitful yeah what a weird week LeBron came and you know what and when LeBron came right I'm like I thought I thought he was already here you'll never get it right by the way cuz yesterday he came home why and I sort of got maybe was a LeBron LeBron a LeBron James I don't you LeBron James yeah I can't I [ __ ] up the first part you know he says LeBron yeah yeah yeah yesterday he was like baby you're Billa bro yeah and then unko easy go easy is gonna go cowy cowy yeah whoo easy is gonna come easy yeah Drake is you yeah you do something else man out with a new album called scorpion that's what this to partner he talks about his kids only in emotionless he does yeah yeah so that's how he's not come to the Lakers oh yeah now let me ask you something does that make me because I don't know I mean I know how basketball is played do you like this board at first or not whatever I played NBA Jam and whatnot yeah the video games yeah I I've never been really that into it to be honest with you give it a try I'll tell you the reason why though I wanna know because aside from Jeremy Lin and Yao Ming we don't my people don't play it the way soccer because we play it internationally yes no not internationally when jisu par played for man you son plays for Tottenham the the whole national team that did the goalkeeper might go to Liverpool now we play it and we're and also we're good it's if if if the sport was like like maybe there was like seven Asian guys in the NBA and doing well don't be like oh then why don't you watch baseball so boring I can't do it we play all day leave on your TV and just go about your day I love it's so nice to hear it in the background or when you go and you know you have four hours to enjoy something with your family and friends it's like a it's like a family affair I've been to bachelor love basketball elevator music is what it is no you eat peanuts you know you say seventh-inning stretch it's sort of it's like a it feels there's something nostalgic okay but for a guy that doesn't like to talk to other people though so what I'm there alright you don't talk to other people you just talk to who your their way exactly I don't talk to anybody even the person I'm with their own way so like let's say you and I are there it's the ninth inning stretch or whatever six in the seventh Sabbath whatever it is right and nothing's going on sing a song right and I'm eating pop pepper what did they get it you said Pepsi Pepsi I have peanuts P Pepsi PL fries and fries and I'm like so what's up babe no I'm not see what's up she's like yeah it's cool it's nice out huh yeah you think it's boring until you really invest in a few players and you see one of those just one time you need to see that play play you like hit run run that's what while you're in Chavez Ravine it's the greatest feeling ever it's so exciting I think it's better live it's gonna like soccery like you wait you wait for soap for a long match and maybe they'll score maybe they won't the resources are amazing I love you but this is the reason why it's not the same you because suckers are one continuingly there they're constantly in motion you know stalkers not about scoring it's about fluidity and them and how they pass and how the communication between the players it's constantly moving so for me it's like wow what a great save or that got that defender really brought you know or he got back there or man Messi just went through six people didn't score but it's constantly moving it's entertaining in that way when you see a team that's good defensively you know when you see a good offense it's it's just more it's entertaining to me but um the reason I don't like baseball it's this constant stopping they stop people are chewing things what it's exciting for me from start to finish I know but I'm sorry I can't I'll try the seasons just long to the playoffs are fun for me but season so long yeah I don't know I like I just like every sport for I can appreciate each sport for what they are what's called long game my dad used to watch a lot of golf I would sometimes but not as I wouldn't I couldn't enjoy it as much as the other ones I will never play golf who tried it I've tried that yeah well that's reason why I didn't do my dad [ __ ] it up and yeah beat me with gunfire driver so and when he was beating me with the golf clubs I said I'll never play this you just ruined this part for me I'm so glad and beat me with ping pong paddles because I love ping-pong or soccer ball Oh soccer balls if he beat with the soccer ball it would be really above a bummer yeah he did kick me like a soccer ball but um yeah my dad used to and then you know I used to go with him some mornings and just you when you don't play you're in that little card golf cart and he hits it and then he what would it was was he trying to start a fight with two black men and he got I think he called him like the n-word or something yeah and it really put a bad funk in my mouth my dad made a violent and he didn't make it like nice and then because of the beatings and stuff I just want you know [ __ ] the support and also it's it's so elitist it's for rich people like when I see Steve Rannazzisi in his Instagram with his white shoes and his stupid white legs and a swish shorts and he has his white shirt tucked into his tan shorts right and he's got that GU white grin on his face and he's got like some sort of stupid visor was some [ __ ] symbol I don't like you know and he's sitting there with other people dressed exactly the same as him and they're smiling in the middle of this empty like field it makes me want to shoot him in the [ __ ] eyes oh man no I mean makes me want to say don't do it yeah I mean it's like you know who's another guy that would never play golf for a fact Chris D'Elia if Kristin Leah played golf it's the end of the world he would have a lot to say about it he would never do it he doesn't like sports that's right he hates sports he thinks it's stupid man word he hates uniforms he hates the whole thing if you talk about sports in front of him he'll just walk away he goes man I [ __ ] that [ __ ] that like he does not like it and that's why I love Chris I feel like Theo von would play some golf yeah what is here when he's here in a couple of weeks we're gonna could we have them in a couple of weeks I want to confront him on golf but I feel like he would yeah Louisiana like who who do at comics no but guess have we had Eric Griffin definitely a golfer right jo koy probably a golfer Filipino no I think he is I think he would I think he would play I think not Eddie Pepitone he hates it yeah there's no way we go with his body there's no way you can't swing nothing but I hate that sport but you know what you know I hate it all sports until soccer so maybe I'll change I don't know okay hey well where how did you discover soccer Bobby Lee already [ __ ] said this way man beat by a golf club you know how you know why I like soccer I've already said it FIFA yeah okay faker gives a Steve xbox 2006 we were at a game stop I know is that a game stop yeah I'm telling you it's a game style where a game stop this is insane I can't read oh hey guys we got a little off um altercation but everyone guys don't know what happened you don't know what happened but imagine imagine imagine what happened and there was a crazy boy was there was an hour / a hour it was our break and there was some fighting but now we're back baby don't bring it up again can't bring it up what are you doing don't bring it up again I need to know no baby let's do another break not be real there's another way another big right dig another break right we're taking a break guys anyway we're back we're back we're back we're back all right guys yeah we're good so um let me see something that you know being in a closed space like this and you know I just got off the Rome tired and you know kalila has been busy you know we're all do we all have our own little private lives and sometimes we all but hair heads and we're not gonna get into really you know what it was long was that one that was 45 minutes those are 45 yeah so we've been like off the air for an hour 45 and it's rough you know but what do you power thought we were doing great yeah yeah I mean we're doing really good so uh that's how long it takes to defuse a situation yeah yeah what happened to you remember what happened you said you were proof before all this yeah yeah last week and again no one knows so go be is a great dog but there are some people that she doesn't like when people are older people that are hates wobbly humans if if so the older person isn't walking correctly if it's like young children who are sort of wobbly and unsteady she freaks out and she barks when she's on the leash yeah kids yeah hey [ __ ] you that's my daughter yeah oh yeah sorry anyway all right all right that was the dumbest thing ever oh my oh my god scrappy look at her did it hurt maybe you have sexy leg does that come that's the quickest way you come no let him come Kiki no can a puppy come to you Rachel yeah the dog whatever it whatever yeah go ahead so what happens if I help me so remember how I was saying earlier that like we've kind of we've lost their minds and this country's so divided and everything is just everyone's just trying to find something to hurt them it's just not a good the the vibe is not generally good yeah and it could have been more evident than when I was walking goby and every time I see that someone approaching I always pick her up I don't always pick her up but I take her further away from them just so she doesn't pop off just so I don't have to like deal with with judgy people saying man you know like control your dog or whatever cuz I bet [ __ ] like annoys me so if you come into the entrance of our condo there's a side entrance and there's a front entrance right and two guys were coming in so I left the door open for them as I was coming out so I was coming out with a dog I saw that they were coming in so I use usually a code to get in our building so instead of them having to punch the code I was like hey they're coming in so I left the door open yeah I picked goby up and I went away from them I went the other way to kind of avoid them and then as they were opening the door that I had left open for them these two dudes kept staring at me like hard and so I kind of stared back at them like why are they staring at me like and then I got a little like defensive because I'm like are they gonna [ __ ] like what are they they look pissed at me yeah and then the dude came over like kind of like aggressively and he was like you had a problem he said you have a question for me and I was like what and he's like you're looking at me like I'm gonna steal something so you know because in that moment I just wanna avoid the situation whoa wait what now let me guess Lake George that doesn't ask that's exactly what I was thinking why you left why are you laughing are they okay continue so and I was like wait no I was just trying to take my dog away cuz she's kind of an [ __ ] and I just walked away and I was like hey sorry sorry sorry cuz I just avoid cuz I'm a [ __ ] spineless [ __ ] I was like sorry sorry sorry and III like walked away didn't mean anything by that but i sat there and I started like really getting pissed off the way this [ __ ] just accused me of being ripped you know basically being racist when I just left the door open to the whole building right yeah so after like thinking on the grass patch for three minutes I went over there I went inside the building anyone to go find them cuz I couldn't live with myself yeah this is what this is let me just say thing right now this is what we're learning right because we've been talking about stuff like this where we regret not speaking up the movie theater yeah like the movie yeah that so we're speaking up now kalila and I we might die one day from from it but we're not gonna let people walk over us so go ahead babe but I didn't even try to find them to like be confrontational in that way I just wanted to I was sad about it and so I went over I knocked on the door and I was like hey dude don't come at me like that of all the people in this building I am the last person that person who would profile you I left the [ __ ] door open for you if I gave a [ __ ] and I [ __ ] cared if I was suspicious why did I would leave that door open for you yeah and he walked closer and closer and closer to me and he realized oh she's dressed sloppier than me she has tattoos who she might be just as brown as me and then he realized that he had profile from a distance he probably thought I was just some rich white girl walking you know outside of you know walking her dog yeah and I was like I pulled my dog away from you cuz my dog's an [ __ ] yeah but eventually he apologized he was like sorry for the misunderstanding whatever whatever but I was like it made me feel so sad that this dude nine out of ten times he would have been correct nine out of ten times if someone looked at him that way coming into a building especially on Beachwood here he probably would have been right and the reason I tell you he's right is because I have you know that at the app next door and all my neighbor's all that you see every day popping up notifications suspicious black man standing outside or suspicious Latino man standing outside like minding their own [ __ ] business like this neighborhood does that so it made me I I understood where he was coming from that he felt that he had to confront me about wrong person can I just say something though I feel bad after a while yeah but the thing is is that you know I even me like when I'm a hatchet sometimes I'm a haggard and hatchet e ratchet ratchet yeah I just make up my own like a hatchet yeah [ __ ] okay yeah a hatchet-faced is like yeah that's that's what I am something I have like sometimes I'll have like you know when I wake up and I forget to put the acne medicine I use a person gel on my face and sometimes I wake up I forget that you know sometimes you've seen me wear white on my face and my hair is all [ __ ] up and I wear t-shirts with holes in it I've been at the airport where a white mother will well if I'm walking she'll she'll bring the baby or a kid post to her to protect her from me right I don't think to myself what are you profiling me I think yeah I would too I'm I look awful I I look suspicious you know I would do that if you know if somebody that looked like me came toward my kid I me the same thing happened to me in DC I was at the DC Improv and you know who Bill Cosby is yeah he's a comedian very funny very talented get his own show too The Cosby Show oh and he was one of my favorite movies goes dad yeah yeah it's a great movie right you knew Barack Obama is anyway so there's a hot dog place that Bill Cosby and Barack goes to and I'm walking into the place but as I'm walking walking like Emily 20 feet from the door I had this thought in my head I go where the [ __ ] my hotel key so I put my hand in the back of my where my where I put my hotel key and it was there but as I'm doing that I'm walking by a black eye I swear to God yeah and as I'm doing that he goes what man you think I'm gonna [ __ ] steal and he just what he left right and I kept mumbling what's up like that yeah and I never confronted him I would have no I wouldn't we have said no dude I was looking for my hotel key while you were well you you just happen to be walking by but you want my money you can have my money look at a [ __ ] I'm the last person yeah same thing as you yeah but I told that dude and he kind of like chuckled but I was like dude that [ __ ] hurt my feelings it hurt my feelings when he was like when he laughed and he was like why would that hurt your feelings I was like I basically accused me in a race of seeing two Mexican guys and then thinking that you guys were gonna rob my building and and I told my was like I don't care you know if that's funny but that [ __ ] hurts my feelings and eventually we squashed it and we had like a good conversation out of it or whatever but it just makes me sad that it's come to that where you know he did he's lived a life where he feels the need to defend himself in that way but he's he also does it maybe so frequently that he targets the wrong person so I felt [ __ ] profiles [ __ ] this is all going awry like this is the problem with this country I don't know why but this has reminded me of another thing that happened to me when I was in ninth grade so my friend Mark not my friend I mean Mark was but Mark Holden was my friend but there was another guy I mean our Kimball and they I guess they took some sort of biology class and then like I was at the library and they'd learned this new thing at biology class and they walked up to me and they go hey we just want to let you know dude you're not gonna survive survive just in general life yeah and I go I got why because we just survival the fittest you eat you know you were with alpha and we're strong you're small and you're weak and you're not gonna survive and I remember tears welling of am i I'm gonna die oh my god right like they had just learned it too if I if I could do it now is like no I'm you know I'm surviving yeah but I just remember well you know when kids just come in just say [ __ ] did she should to hurt your [ __ ] feelings man walked up to you yeah we survived yeah because they learned the stupid [ __ ] thing in biology class health rich kids won't survive no the rich kids will survive no no they won't because if you think about how things happen in nature oh you mean what in an apocalyptic moment listen so when people if you look at any ecosystem any type of intermediate disturbance whether it's a fire or like hardships anything any kind of hardship that an ecosystem goes through is in the long-term better for the species you have more diversity you have more they'll evolve to kind of figure out their environment a little better yeah when things live in absolute comfort and no disturbance they devolve they lose the capability to survive yes so in life intermediate or some disturbance is actually a positive thing it forces you to grow it forces you to be stronger it forces you to evolve so like comforts are not a good thing you got a you got a kind of you know yeah but you're you're talking in in the the scenario if there was like an apocalyptic moment where the government shuts down and we have to survive in that way but these two kids are Campbell and Mark golden were saying in modern times I wasn't gonna sedate they took it out of context yeah in prehistoric times maybe it was survival to fitness but in modern time that doesn't really right if the government's working and it's a capitalistic society it's the not the guy that's the strongest right physically it's the guy with the money it's the guy who has the smarts the kid assan who opened for me in San Antonio if you were in San Antonio weighs 63 pounds he's 20 years old not saying yeah he is Indian right balding he looks like a [ __ ] insect his whole body I got how do you even move you have no muscle and he goes hey man there's what he look to me you know I'm a doctor right [ __ ] and I go I'm a doctor and I just said [ __ ] it I wanted to stand up you know my dad's the head of NASA right yes his dad is the head of NASA I googled it yeah the head my mom oh she's the head she has her own dentistry you know I have so much money I don't even have to [ __ ] do this I'm doing it on a cot you know because I love comedy he's very funny by the way this kid right here is the sort of is though is the alpha male in modern times now if society breaks down and there's you know zombie apocalypse and we need a you know it went physical strength and and that isn't played then maybe that applies but these two [ __ ] idiots in high school were you know I mean they took it out of contact they don't know I challenged him to a duel well I mean our drivers you know what he's doing now no I mean I if I saw him on how I would like to hang out I liked him actually they are symbol if you're listening let's go your career yeah I want to be cast away with you on an island and do naked and afraid and I'm not a very healthy person I have a heart condition but art Kimball I will last longer than you baby don't [ __ ] make fun of our Kimball no I mean our Kimball wasn't you know that nice to me in high school he's still like he also dunk my head in a toilet so are you traumatized by this in like afraid to upset him even now yeah I'm afraid to upset him Oh don't [ __ ] with our Kimball I'll [ __ ] with our Kimball please don't ya know I was always afraid of I'm afraid of bullies so they were bullies and your friend yeah I mean I was a bully but I remember that my brother remember that way his dad's guy Derek who was a hoot look like a Sam the opener yeah why you used to pick on I used it he had ice cream in his hand I just pushed in his face people hurt right but then he challenged me cuz that's it the bus don't do that we're fighting I go oh yeah little [ __ ] right we meet on a dirt road he kicked the living [ __ ] out of him and then the next day I was like a nerd too I was like hanging out with them playing flutes no I went it took flew class I had a gopher dish no I did a dick flute class I'll be a flutist but I thought I was like you know yeah I'm not like that yeah but um no pulleys are important man you need it yeah there's bullies and comedy now yeah I mean I mean I mean I don't want to say I mean he's super nice but Rogan Joe Rogan he's not a bully but you know like the other day I was like standing outside the The Comedy Store and he didn't make contact but he started running down sunset yeah I mean he goes Lee or something he said he says my name and he goes and he does a kick but he's he misses my leg by like an inch that's how that's how good he is how much control he had so much power behind it right and I made a noise like that and then the doorman laughed at me and he kind of laughed he walked away I was like that's gonna you know when bill burr like you know me he talks to me about you gotta have a kid yeah it'll change your life the other night he was doing that and me just listening like I don't ever throw my opinions and then when I did you know what he said I got to go home no because I go biancalana were thinking maybe I got to go home I came I got in the car drove away I'm like I can't even see my employees in you know you know I'll tell you in at the cop in the comedy scene yeah here's the guy that here's the guys that play both sides the guys that are like um you're the cool kids that hang out with the hashers you know who one of them is I realized Tom Segura yeah because I was bullying Craig so Craig one of my openers he was like he would heat and gotta say what he did but he crossed the line with me and so I cornered him yeah because because I'll be I yelled at him so I I cornered him if you ever [ __ ] do that again I swear to [ __ ] god I'll bury you and then Tom came up and goes hey guys I just shook my hand he's chicken at and then you should everyone's hand and everyone's like hey Tommy yeah I mean he's the good keys that popular in high school yeah yeah he's not a bully yeah yeah Shaffir bully bully who else is a bully daliyah is popular kid then there's jocks Brent Ernst was a guy's jock there are jobs Sebastian Maniscalco jock you know and then there are like sorority girls iliza shlesinger sorority girl hi or like the popular girl who doesn't even say hi to you anymore yeah like I can't even say hi to her you are the no nerds Ali Wong Ali Wong is the nerd that everyone knows is gonna be President in the United States so that she becomes pres class president that's Ali Wong and then there are ones that are like just you know the nobodies and there's a lot of them you know the nobodies but there's like a a slew of nobodies they just hang around right and they just know they're never gonna do anything yeah there's you say hi to them too they're human beings yeah but you know what dude it's like you know you should I I know my position in the world my pushin visit and in because there's laws in this country that protect me from physically getting harm and if I get harmed I can sue or call the cops or whatever so you know I'm willing to play a victim every once in a while it's missing in the comedy scene yeah but um I'm still a popular kid right yeah I'm still a part of the popular cool group you know Jim Carrey knows me Harry Jim Carrey knows Bobby Bob Saget knows me Bob Saget you know those here well Bob Saget says condescending things I think you gonna get naked again he always says that every time I see him and I want to go you know a Bob I don't do that I do but tell him I don't you know also the cool kid Spade David Spade he does snide comments you mean yeah we just come from the you know a circus what kind of sandals are those mm-hmm it'll just walk away and everyone will allow cuz it's David Spade cool and then I'll laugh even though it hurts me right but it's like yeah I'll get angry a little bit oh I get affected by oh yeah yeah yeah like job babe Ruben said these pants yeah I do do that like Jeff Ross said something to do there you're on a show right yeah I go yeah they have a wardrobe department dang I go yeah can you just ask for clothes and I'm like wow last week he bought a really looking bright colored montclair attack vest yeah and he wore to the comedy store he was really excited to show his friends his new thing and he came home and he was really bummed out yeah he's like they said I shouldn't wear this on stage again yeah and then yeah and then now he hates his $800 Moncler this no you can have that I'm gonna try to work it you know what else I'm doing with that jacket what I've been googling the jacket and other people wearing it well you see what I need to be wearing with it I like the whole like the models yeah yeah yeah and I go I gotta do that but all the models are good-looking but when they haul or do they were for pants of camo pants well this is where like clothes I don't even [ __ ] have yeah like other Moncler pants you know so it's like yeah the people made fun of me all night yeah what are you a jelly belly you know I mean people saying with my jacket on yellow are you wearing a vest because I because I'm yellow skin he's like I stuck with you at one night though the first night I [ __ ] remember cuz you wore yes yeah I haven't worn it since because member he was checking out some of the mayor you like guys yeah yeah I regret it getting it that you bring it the more expensive one too yeah that should I got the more expensive one but uh yes so you know mean I still get bullied but you know what we should do we should do we should speak up for ourselves out everyone listening now um slept King said speak up for yourself don't die read the situation but you know you should always just I you know I just have this inner thing of like I have to just take it but I don't the prime example is the movie with hereditary well we did that you know but that was a weird podcast huh oh we're stopping though we have question no we do have questions I'm just saying was it weird what you think of it except for the hour and 45 or we got in a fight well that was a law it was such a long break everybody on three sorry on three one two three I'm sorry sorry before we get to the question that do only have quick thoughts on the biggest fight of the year just really quick picks who it's it's a it's a super it's a super fight and arm it's I mean III think that gourmet I think our man make it go he's the queer man it's so hard okay just a little bit more so I hope it's DC I'll tell you also cornea why why is that the only losses had is to John Jones the greatest fighter ever in UFC history I believe you also have to realize that you know steep a is somebody that he's a piece so many people sort of didn't believe him until he beat his 10th person you know he beat in Ghana when he beat in Ghana I was like oh this guy is no joke I'm not saying I'm not I'm not ripping on Steve I think Steve Bay is probably the best heavyweight they've ever had long a strap in it the longest champion he's a very good consistent I would like to see Cain Velasquez to come back but that'd be cool but arm but we want DC but I but obviously arm and then the other fight obviously I want max Holloway Ortega Oh Diego for sure we can't say that we're gonna be in Hawaii we can't I'm not gonna see it there okay we're gonna pretend we're like yeah but T city is I've been a fan of his for a very long time and the way he finished Frankie Edgar was magnificent he he hit him like a baby like he hit a kid Frankie left the canvas and flew backwards and he he could choke out people he could he can do everything but you can I just say something again like steep a max Holloway no joke max Holloway is a warrior and so dangerous very dangerous what who else is fighting this is the two big fights and then there's smaller fights like Francis Negreanu and Derrick Lewis that'll be fun Derrick Lewis is a big guy very strong I'll stand up yeah it'll be great Mike jessa and Anthony Pettis are you over him he's good he's a journey make six losses though top of the world that's it yeah I'll still watch it how come there's only one girl fight is it Jamie Boyle I know yeah there's only one girlfriend it's the first fight everything else is guys old helpful advice do it helpful advice worth bar I want to try to do it [Laughter] I've ever heard alright I'll do it [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] with Bobby and I want everyone on video to watch her face while she does it you look you're next oh well I got turtle oh god that was so good thank you so much what's up Tiger belly crew first off the last podcast with Adam Ray was hilarious almost [ __ ] at work anyways I was adopted I was adopted from Seoul and fresh out of the oven and I was flown to California where I grew up outside of Fresno I don't have any info on my birth parents other than my mom's name and the district I was born in I've been getting these strong urges the past couple years to try and find her and I've decided that when time's right I'll move there for a couple years I got one big problem though I'd be leaving everything behind I guess you could say I got everything I need here family friends girlfriend desk job but honestly I'd give that all up just to find my birth mom and learn about more learn more about my country hell I even wash dishes in some alley if that's what it takes to survive oh my god I've only had a few people tell me about this idea and they all say this won't do anything for my future or career I know you probably had to make huge life changes so my question is how do you deal with all the push back and keep your goals right also what kind of friends do you have if all they think there is in life is your future career what about your soul yeah what about the things that actually like matter that they'd be easy for them to say they have their birth parents with a soul it's not gonna take two years yeah also why would meaning your birth mother have to be such a Jurassic thing I mean I know I mean I get that all right especially you know here's a guy was adopted probably by white people mm-hmm it's always the case so that's the assumption I'm gonna make what do you mean he was adopted right yeah yeah yeah and white he had white parents adopted them you're Asian you grew up in this white house I could only imagine that your whole life you're like I mean I love these people and they love me and I love them like my parents but you know you you want to long for your own flesh and where you came from and you know and you know your little personality quirks and stuff like I know where I get when I look at my brother and he gets rageful I know he gets that's with my dad it's cute you know you know some of my you know loud you you know things that I do in public is for my mom it's cute and I know where I get it from um I also know in terms of like diseases like my dad has high blood pressure or stroke and all those things you just know want to know what you're made of and who you are and I think I get it but I don't think is gonna take two years ago in the streets like you know I think that to be that dramatic yeah been a couple of months why don't you just find her and then take like a 10-day trip out her to meet her if she's even open to that cuz you open to it it's not to you know so you also have to prepare yourself for the fact that that's a possibility that someone does not want to meet the son that I know but you know what it's like if I even if right now I've imagined me like you know on stage and some kid that kind of looks like me closer to me out of the show and go that's well you know you're my dad your reaction mom let's just say Jennifer field very specific or you know any of my you know whatever whoever yeah like I remember I had sex with a girl from Portland and I did it with no condom so it says it's her right he's like yeah so I forgot her name let's see what's on the girl who came to your show and what try to give you like nipple tassels as gifts no no and so and I said well doctor any and he's I'd be like oh [ __ ] I never knew he's a guy no but yeah I just wanted to meet you and I'd be like well you would have lunch I mean I would want to know what his life was like you know what you know you know everything about him I want to know everything about him and if he doesn't want to know me or any of that then that's fine that's his prerogative but for me I would want to be a part of his life in some degree like you imagine you know Julie my niece who was with us for three months yeah dad wants nothing to do with her life can you imagine I can't imagine such a great girl it's easy that people do that but at the fart hole oh yeah I took imodium to ad that's why so there I know that [ __ ] free that's why I pulled it out you know I could put the strength tonight anyway uh you know I did a dude I was on I was just a sidetrack my second show in San Antonio yeah a Saturday night maybe like 80% of my act is done and I had a big fart mm-hmm I just stopped the show ninja hey guys do you mind if I just fart in the mic to see what it sounds like and the whole crazy I farted in such a way it was a two-minute laugh like it little I did it what that's what it sounded like they're like nine different sounds to it and the it just caused an eruption of laughter and I was laughing too and it just was admit a minute a couple of minutes yeah I mean anyway do you guys know I think it's called just farts no greatest thing you guys have to let me make sure that's the correct while you do that yeah it is just underscore farts and here I'll show it's just a guy in the dark and recording supports how do you know it's real though he's like just farts his bio is come check out my farts a hundred percent real farts vme your farts if you want to be featured Bob you got to do it this video clips then everyone let me see this one yeah that was his latest ones if videos were just all black it has 600 followers how do you find that if it's 600 followers in these following 4,000 people the only way you could find something like that is if you actually search the farts on Instagram I think one of you we got to find one that mimics yours oh my that was a good one that's great like all these comedians follow okay so that's I think one of your openers any Craig yeah Craig yeah yeah so anyway this guy back to this guy worked better on my farm he's like I wanna see I wanna see my mom my mom I have every right to look and if she was a decent human being I think she'd want to meet you and I think I would go for it but don't live out there for two years and become a dishwasher yeah yeah I think there ways to really without having to give your entire life away and also if your friends aren't supportive that I find that to be really weird unless they're aware of the fact that like maybe she was like some you know horrible crazy person maybe maybe no no because the puppy babe don't put puppy on the table the puppy will fall oh well its bones yeah it'll break its bones any shows for Bobby Bobby Lee live show of life be a go to Portland pretty soon yeah my neck hurts so bad okay but anyway that was a weird podcast but you know what guys they're not all home runs but this was there's some interesting things in there I thought there was some good stuff in there there's some good stuff in there we're leaving for Hawaii we're going to Hawaii also I know that we have a lot of fans on Oahu which is not where we're going we're going to Kauai why would you come to Kauai yeah so what I'm saying is if you live in Hawaii and because Bobby sleeps all day and I'm looking for someone to hike with or if you're a woman like Jason Momoa all right someone to keep Pony Thornburg and Jason Momoa while I dive yeah that would be great I'll go you're not gonna come with you're gonna wake up at like 3:00 p.m. I'll dive I am yeah yeah came with you guys to watch the fights in the bar they're up anyway so uh any announcement story shout out to first shadows now thanks everybody for uh for jumping on the website getting the merge oh that's right you're so right we actually doubled the amount of merchandise that we put out this time and it still went pretty fast it is month it is 10:52 p.m. on July 2nd and I think we only have 10 shirts left yeah so you kept our word released at 10:00 so if you're still complaining saying I didn't get it you gotta beat the people that set the alarm yeah you guys really set your alarm yeah it was at 10:00 a.m. I think that my quick yeah really really fast and shout out to your nice people love the beautiful model if you're listening to this probably know those angels review at the poll very beautifully and she probably felt so uncomfortable being photographed killed it though yeah she's beautiful isn't that crazy how her whole life she's felt inferior to her peers because people told her that she's too dark because of it's Filipino TV show everyone white those whitening products that they just throw in your face they have a TV and I'm like my god Jules and all the celebrities I feel like are all half yeah so yeah it's a pity but she's beautiful and then uh fritter is still up for adoption yeah you can go to at made a rescue that's ma EDA where I rescue and yeah so make sure you follow us on instagram at tiger belly on the Twitter's at that tiger belly and email us any questions aren't a helpful advice at the tiger belly at gmail.com you can follow kalila in all social media and Oh at calamity Kay also I'm be real about the whole kawaii thing yeah how you how would you like people to reach out to do you want to do a fan meetup I don't want to do a fan meetup I want to go hiking and I don't want to go where all the tourists are going I want you to take me on a moderate hike that where I won't run into a lot of other people but also beautiful and two to three miles along uh yeah I could go even four or five I'm cool with that it's a kind of a busy trail just so you don't get murdered also you have if I have I have to cross-reference like your Instagram there's got to be like real images there like if you're contacting me and it's like a there's no photos yeah yeah you have to be a real person but in real being serious because I know Bobby's just gonna sleep for a whole year so let's say you should DM kalila and then sure but also know I'm like a really awkward person in like real life oh really and I might sweat a lot that's true and so if I'm a little bit like standoffish your personal don't take it personally right George know you're super nice nice eventually but I'm a little bit like like I do this oh you do pull back I've seen these so many people I've introduced you to it takes you a gluey like 15 minutes 15 minutes about yeah and then I get real nice more like you're just really just analyzing I don't analyze I just observe and make sure that they're not gonna judge me for like sweating on their shirt because that's why like I don't want to like shake their hands like I want to for some reason like I I gotta be like hey just so you know like I'm just I'm wet and her body is what that's why I'm trying to like keep it safe distance you know it does the open-air meeting people hey what's up I'm so sorry no bodies wet so watch me do a low voice watch my neck okay was I was I worse than George the voice was fine it was more the physical like motions of your face and what your cheeks did I was like how did she move her cheekbones to a different location on her face you know what's so sad is that I have a pretty big mouth yeah but I don't utilize it the way I could you know what Julia Roberts like when you when she speaks her smile yeah it seemed like the best I don't have a I have a deep mouth I have a wide mouth but I don't use it to its full capacity I should just 10 dix this yeah just give it again you're giving the Internet so much meme and I've been thinking about doing vocal coaching - yeah that's exactly what I think you can sing right no not at all without this note I know I'm not good the works I use like here you go great rhythm all I know is it's off I don't know which way it's off that's George George underscore Kimmel I really like your shirt and you look very handsome today George thank you yeah after she shut you down before the party what did I say I don't know but it was hurtful and he's actually sad you were you sad when I said look I I thought your interpretation was so wrong that I was like that I was like that like you thought with the guy picking up your dog I was like I was like that's you profiles me you profile I'm sorry look George you know I'm a major proponent for putting your face on all merch and I've been I know I got my face on so I don't want you trying to shut down comments I want your face on all the stuff we have except that when we have artist submits people how to draw yes so if you're an artist and you want your stuff on a shirt I had George in there yeah that 80's trio actually originally we really don't design I really don't design shirt or tell artists what to do it's they they do it do it now we just find stuff yeah we find stuff we like just audience inspiration just you guys just do it oh [ __ ] I forgot to tag the artist on the on the shirt let's hang it I forgot he's awesome he's really a cool guy he's actually yeah when we find out cuz he actually works in LA he has a lot of billboards you know of course look at that that the thing he drew first he's amazing that guy's amazing but yeah follow us on social media make sure check bobbies tour dates on Bobby Lee live.com and guys [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 199,939

Rating: 4.84375 out of 5

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, all things comedy, STAND UP, comedy, japanese intro, world cup, mexico, korea, reaction, mad tv, lebron, best sport, debate, basketball, soccer, joe rogan, bill burr, types of comedians

Id: Atv4rfok_mY

Length: 75min 31sec (4531 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 06 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/douchebaggery5000]

When's the merch shipping?

[u/[deleted]]

Good on you Sir.

[u/GrueneMedizin]

Those cuts were gold, but I really do wish they would get rid of the dogs while they record the podcasts.

[u/Generational_Wealth]

/u/chachmcgach you are sexy as fuck bitch sorry we went to war with you tigerbelly 4 ever murder those against khalyla