- Yeah. The hand is
supposed to be limp, right? - Yeah but you gotta be like- - You were- Oh! (both laughing) - You gotta go over the face! - [Stevie] Guys! Guys. (upbeat music) - Good mythical morning! - All right, listen up. This is important. Here at "Good Mythical Morning," we do not tolerate dishonesty! - Unless it involves me trying to cheat my way out of eating cat food in a candy apple. - Well, as I recall, we did
not tolerate that either. Did we, Stevie? - [Stevie] Nope! - That's right! As we've established, though, this is what we're here for today, is the fact that you're
a Reddit man, right? - Oh, this is about me? - Uh, well-
- I'm a frequent- No, I'm a frequent lurker of Reddit. I wouldn't call myself a Reddit man. - You a fan of the "Today
I Learned" sub-Reddit? - Uh, yeah. I like the
"Today I Learned" sub-Reddit. I like to think of it like a- If it- If a "Jeopardy" episode were transcribed, but the people playing were just basic. - So you just sit in
your bed and read that? - Yeah.
- Every night? - It's much better. I
know some of the things. - Okay, well, hopefully you
haven't read any of these. 'Cause today we're turning some
of the craziest revelations on the "Today I Learned"
sub-Reddit into a game that we may learn to not love so much. It's time for "Today We Can
Tell Some Big Little Lies!" "But Who Can Lie Better,
Link or This Guy?" I'm this guy. - And I'm Link! And we're gonna- We're here! We're going to learn some things! Actually, we've been learning things. We both independently have been scouring the "TIL" Reddit thread, and picked our favorite facts to now play our version
of two truths and a lie. We're each going to present two facts and a lie that we've made
up to the other person, other person has got to
guess what that lie is. - If the guesser cannot
guess the fake fact, he will be given a punishment, but if the guesser does guess correctly, then the punishment will go
back to the other person. The other guy, that's me! - And we do not know what
any of these punishments are. - That's no lie! All right, I'm going to go first. - All right. I'm ready. (Rhett laughs) - Link, this is all about famous musicians. - Magicians? - [Rhett] Musicians.
- Oh! Magicians. - Today I learned Celine Dion recorded "Titanic's" "My Heart
Will Go On" in one take, and the version we've all heard
is essentially just a demo. - Dang, girl! She could do that. - Today I learned Steven Spielberg- - Ah! - Played the clarinet on
the "Jaws" soundtrack, which would technically
make him a famous musician! (both laughing) - Oh, is that what it takes?
- Yeah. - You play a clarinet
on your own soundtrack? - And here's the third one. Today I learned Gene
Simmons, from the band Kiss, didn't experience his first
actual kiss until he was 24. - Is that something that he would confess? 'Cause I'm down to B and C. Would Gene Simmons- Hm. Is there a vulnerable side to Gene Simmons that I don't know about? What was B? - Stephen Spielberg playing the clarinet on the "Jaws" soundtrack.
- Oh, that's definitely- I think C is the lie.
- The lie? - Gene Simmons, he was- With that long of a tongue? (Stevie laughs) - You think he was making early use of it? - Early action. - You're right, Link! That is the lie! I don't know when Gene
Simmons's first kiss was. So I have to get punished? - [Stevie] That means
you get the punishment. Humans aren't the only
ones who like music, dogs like getting down
to cool tunes, as well! Supposedly, a dog whistle
emits a note so high- - Hide your dogs! - [Stevie] Humans can't hear it. - Hold their ears!
- [Stevie] So, for Rhett's sake, I hope that's the case, because for your punishment, Link will be blowing this
dog whistle into your ear. - I'll do it from here. (dog whistle blows) - It seems that I'm also getting punished. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I didn't think we hear
that at all, though. - There was spit coming out of it. - Uh, that's uh- - Like, it was like trailing- Like, just like out of the clarinet- - Steven Spielberg's clarinet? - Steven Spielberg's clarinet, yeah. That's what I was trying to say! - That's what- That's
Steven Spielberg's spit! That's where I got this dog whistle. - Put it on eBay! Sell it! - All right, Rhett, let's see how much you
know about the mysteries of the human body. - The human body. - Today I learned when you blink, your brain treats it as a tiny nap, giving the average- Giving the average person between 20,000 and 30,000
two tenths of a second naps every day. Or, today I learned that
0.1 percent of your shirt ends up in your belly button annually. Today I also learned
that everyone has herpes, including me, I know you're
going to point that out, that's why I'm going here. but only the lip kind, and only- But only some exhibit symptoms because of a specific gene,
called the CARD11 gene. That gene is also related to
symptoms of atopic dermatitis. - Boy, that last one would really screw up a
running joke on this show, because the whole "Link had
herpes" would just become everyone has herpes. - And I felt that. - But I've also thought
for many- For many years- Many moons that I must also have herpes, as many times as we've
eaten after each other. (Stevie laughs) - But I don't have symptoms. - Does everyone have herpes? - It's because I don't have
the right pair of genes. - I need an answer. Which one is the lie? - The 0.1 percent of the
belly of a shirt? Like- That's a whole lot of
shirt in a belly button. 99.9 percent is a lot, but
0.1 is a whole lot of shirt. I think everybody's got herpes. And I think the lie is
the belly button shirt. - Thank you for believing in me, but no, I'm different, Rhett. I'm one of the few, the
proud with the herpes. (buzzer blaring) - But maybe you do have it, I don't know. Yeah. A 10th of a percent of your shirt ends up in your belly button annually. - I do not believe that.
- [Stevie] Okay, Rhett, get ready for your closeup. Since we now know that
everyone's get shirt lint- Gets shirt lint in their belly buttons, you must reveal to the camera how much is stuck in yours
with a belly button close up. - You saw this coming. Give it a Yankee. - [Rhett] I got none. I got none, guys. - [Link] Did you-
- [Rhett] I'm sorry. I'm sorry to disappoint
you, but I do not have any. I showered today. - See if this dog whistle can
be blown by your belly button. - Oh, but it's got Steven
Spielberg spit on it. - All right, ask me one, man. - Man. This one's about pain. Today I learned paper cuts are so painful because at a microscopic level, paper is actually quite rough. Paper also leaves behind tiny
fibers and chemical residues, irritating the wound even more. - Hm. - Today. I learned the Mayo Clinic determined that the most
painful place to get stabbed is in the bottom of the foot. (Link scoffs) - Today I learned Texas law states that any two individuals
who feel the need to fight can agree to mutual combat. - Paper cut? Boy, that- That makes sense to me. What was B? - The Mayo Clinic determined-
- Oh yeah! The Mayo Clinic's, like, stabbing people all over the place, and then determining- "Where did it hurt the most?" "Now I just stabbed you everywhere." - Well, I mean- I mean,
I'd ask somebody that. - I think B, Mayo Clinic. - You're right. It's a lie. - Okay.
- [Stevie] So, Link, that means you get to administer
the ultimate combination of pain and humiliation to Rhett, the infamous "stop hitting yourself." Which does- Yep.
(Link laughs) - Yeah! Stop- Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Stop closing your fist! - It's funny how- - Stop hitting yourself! - You're hurting my hand more
than you're hurting my face. - How do you do it? - Well, I was a little brother,
so I had it done to me. You have to make sure that they keep it- - Yeah, the hands supposed
to be limp, right? - Yeah, but you gotta, like- - You were- (both laughing) - You gotta go for the face! - [Stevie] Guys! Guys! - What?
- [Stevie] Guys. - I let- You know what? I'm winning, so I just let him "stop hitting my face" me. Fun facts about doggies!
You ready for this? Today I learned dogs are as intelligent as the average two year old child. Researchers have found
that dogs are capable of understanding up to
250 words and gestures, can count up to five, and can perform simple
mathematical calculations. Today. I learned that Elvis Presley left 20 percent of his music royalties to his three dogs, Sherlock,
Brutus, and Snoopy. They have all passed away, and now the royalties are donated to various animal rescue organizations. And, today I also learned dogs get sprayed by skunks so often because skunks lift
their tails as a warning. Dogs see this as a,
"Come and smell my butt." Which is the exact opposite message from what the skunk is trying to convey. - The first one is definitely
true, unless it's like- Unless you're throwing me
off with the actual age, but all this stuff you
said about dogs, is true. So, Elvis was a- He was a strange man. We took a tour of his home. Remember that? - Yeah. The tour was strange. It was like they were hiding something. - And it does feel like the
kind thing that he's like, "20 percent to the dogs." (Rhett laughs) You know? It's like- - What would he have sounded like? - "20 percent to the dogs." (Rhett laughs) - He's like dictating his will. - That doesn't even sound
anything like Elvis. Uh- What was the last one? The- The skunk! Man, when a skunk lifts his
tail dogs are not stupid. They're as smart as a two year old! We already know that! - You ever seen a two year
old run up to a upturned tail? - So I think it's the skunk one is a lie. (Link sighs) - You're wrong, Rhett. It's freaking Elvis? - The lie is Elvis, yeah. Dogs go towards that butt hole, man. - [Rhett] I don't believe that. - If it's exposed, they will impose.
(computer chimes) - Yes!
- Somebody at the door? - [Stevie] Okay! That was me! We love featuring cat food on the show, but it's been too long since dog food had its moment in the spotlight. So Rhett, open wide, it's time
to let the dog food inside. - If you give me a whole
spoon, it ain't all going down. (crew laughs) - Hey man, I'm- This could have been me. I didn't choose the amount. I'm just here. Oh, you want me to? You want me to feed? (Rhett gags) (Stevie laughs) - Oh, I didn't know if it was real. Turns out it is! - Oh, gosh! - It had a lump of something in it- - It's so organ-y! - Does it- It had a peanut in it. - [Stevie] To clarify, you
have never eaten fake dog food or cat food on this show. - Oh, what, it's real? - [Stevie] It all has been real. - It had a peanut in it! - I'm O for four. Okay. This is about celebrities and
the adorable things they do. (both laughing) - Okay. - Today I learned Kate Winslet keeps her Oscar in the bathroom
so her guests can hold it and make acceptance speeches in the mirror without
feeling self conscious. - That's sweet. - Today I learned Bill
Murray loves owls so much that he funded an owl wellness sanctuary in Charleston, South Carolina. - Hm. - Today I learned Martin
Short, Steve Martin, and Tom Hanks have a
regular colonoscopy party where they prep together overnight and share one car on the ride
to get their colonoscopies the next day. - That would be amazing. Cause they- They kicked out
Chevy Case as the amigo, and they added Hanks. Ah- I think Kate Winslet-
I'm going with B, faults. - You think that Bill Murray loves owls? - Yeah. That- I- 'Cause I
believe the Winslet, too. - Dang, Link! You're good at this, man! - You're getting a lot of punishments. - You know what it is? It's 'cause you- You've seen all these, 'cause
you go on Reddit so much! It's- You're a cheater! - No, I promise I
haven't seen any of them. - [Stevie] Okay, Rhett. Because you lost again, you must tell us-
- My life is built on lies. - [Stevie] The name of one celebrity you believe you're more famous than. - Say what? I have to
come up with one celebrity I feel like I'm more famous? - [Stevie] Yeah. - Whoever you say-
- [Rhett] I think I- - Is gonna get to them on Twitter. - Man, um- That girl that dated, um- Uh- Somebody- She was on that "Too Hot
to Handle" show on Netflix, and then she started dating- Oh, she started dating Tana Mongeau. That girl. See, I don't
even know her name. I'm more famous than her. - Okay. That's seems like a safe one. - Yeah. (crew laughs) - Is it my turn? - I got it- I want to get one right, man! (Link sighs) - Then let's go to the movies, Rhett. Today I learned in 1998, Sony had the chance to buy the rights to almost every Marvel
character for 25 million. They opted to buy only
the rights to Spiderman for just 7 million, stating, quote, "Nobody gives a bleep about
the other Marvel characters." - What year? - 1998. Today, I also learned an early script for "Back to the Future" featured Marty hiding
in a lead line fridge to survive a nuclear blast. It did not make it to the final version, so Steven Spielberg and his clarinet would later use the same
idea for "Indiana Jones." I also learned that the reason
the superhero movie "Shazam!" has an exclamation point in the title, is because Warner Brothers Pictures was sued by Apple for
trademark infringement of their popular music finding app, also called "Shazam,"
with no exclamation point. The Sony thing makes sense to me, 'cause I know that there was the issue with Sony and Marvel, and- But, 25 million? I don't know, 1998. I feel like it's either
"Back to the Future" or "Shazam!", and I'm just going to
go with the fact that the Shazam music service was after- Isn't "Shazam!" the movie with like, Shaq? - [Stevie] That was "Kazam."
- The exclamation point. - "Kazam" was Shaq? - [VOICE] Yeah.
- Oh! (Rhett laughs) - "Kazam" and "Shazam!" They should get together! - Uh, okay. Then I guess I'm going
with "Back To the Future" as the lie. - No, "Shazam!" is the lie. (Rhett hits table) (all laughing) - [Stevie] Okay, for this last punishment, again, I don't know if
it's for us or for you, but I need you to pretend to
be a major Hollywood actress auditioning for Hollywood's
next big horror movie and give us your best
"Scream Queen" impression right into the camera. - And if you're gonna
scream, I'm gonna be ready. (Rhett screams) (crew laughs) - It's just me, your boyfriend. - "Kazam," "Shazam!" Dazam. - Thanks for subscribing
and clicking that bell. - You know what time it is. - Hi, meanwhile, I'm in the beautiful
city of Krakow, Poland, and I just got my master's degree! Which basically means I'm still miserable, but now I've got a document to prove it. And now it's time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality. (both laughing) - We should hang out, man! Bring that master's degree over here, just so we can hang out! - All right, click the
top link to find out which embarrassing
moments we would lie about in "Good Mythical More." - And if I know where the Wheel of
Mythicality's gonna land. Get these tees shipped Prime, by heading over to amazon.com/mythical.
There's someone who was tracking all of the games and statistics at one point...
I can't help but think of the recent discussion and conversations regarding his competitiveness, or Link's initial self-perception of non-competitiveness. It's almost as his inner Mythical Beast has come to full bloom. Also, I know the recording of the Ear Biscuits and the recording of these GMM's may just be a coincidence.
One more and it’s a royal flush
I believe you mean "queen swept".