DAD Blames Me For The Loss Of His Mistress Baby Because I Kicked Them Out From My Late MOM'S House

what made you realize your step family was toxic to you my mom and dad have been together for 23 years and have been quite successful they had me 20 year old male 3 years into their marriage my mom got diagnosed with cancer and it's been horrible well apparently my dad didn't find it that bad because it turns out he was cheating with one of their tenants she has two kids and is pregnant with my dad's when i found out i was furious and told my mom which made her condition worse they proceeded with divorce it was lengthy and my mom got everything my dad tried to convince me to let him in their house to get his stuff but i blocked him and i want nothing to do with him my mom evicted my dad's mistress and all was well turns out my dad had been paying his girlfriends they've been house skipping and times have been tough for them i came home from shopping a few days ago and they were on the front porch my dad his girlfriend and her kids were all there they asked for a place to stay and i told them get bent in fairness the house is large and can fit all of them do i care no i shoved my dad out of the way when he tried blocking the door and went in and for the next few minutes they were banging until i threatened them with the police well they were leaving and i was watching them from the top floor and i saw her slip and trip down the stairs my dad called the emergency room and they came and took her and i thought that was that until today when my dad came and yelled at me he told me she lost the pregnancy and they have no money or a place to stay i told him i don't care and he's dead to me and i couldn't care less about his girlfriend's kids too he stormed off and i got a call from my gran calling me a cruel loser and saying i killed my sibling i just hung up but my dad's side has been bombarding me and i've been called cruel by a few female friends i'm just wondering am i the idiot and should i help my dad 58 divorced my mom also 58 10 years ago she got custody of me 24 year old female because she made more money and is able to provide a stable home for me mom never remarried dad remarried my stepmom 44 two years ago and she's a very nice woman they're very much in love and there are no hard feelings on any side of the family at the beginning of the year my stepmom called me to tell me that she's heartbroken because she can't have bio children she and dad have been trying but they couldn't conceive because she was infertile after many doctor's visits i think she didn't want to accept that news so she went to others to have someone tell her that the tests are wrong while i'm close with them i'm not comfortable with knowing that type of intimate detail stepmom told me that she's looking into in vitro and she's always wanted a child like me i don't consider myself special but she wants me to be a mold for a biological child she asked if i could consider donating my eggs to her and use dad's part to make a child with the closest dna match to them i don't understand her logic dad is obviously against it and so is mom but stepmom doesn't think it's wrong because it's not like we're sleeping together this dropped on me after a week of back and forth between us she wouldn't let it go and wants me to reconsider i was super uncomfortable when she mentioned using my eggs and dad's part she roped my dad's side of the family in the matter their religious old beliefs and believe in patriarchal dad doesn't have an heir to take the family name because they don't see me as worthy of being the head of the household they've bombarded me with messages and calls for my selfishness saying i'm depriving a good woman of a chance to be a mother and denying my father's right to have an heir mom and dad agreed to one child the family is accusing mom of shoving her western independence view on me when i was a child i've since cut contact with that side of the family and stepmom i'm too sickened by the thought of it things are awkward between dad and me so i went low contact with him i have been living with my new wife and stepdaughter for about six months now she's 19 almost 20 and i have three sons she's a really good kid and she's a good influence on my sons and i really enjoy having her around my wife and her daughter moved into my house and sold theirs my stepdaughter's father isn't present in her life nor is my son's mother all four children share a bathroom my sons have never lived for a long period of time with a woman nor have any of them had long-term girlfriends they had short visitation periods when they were younger but never longer than an hour so living with two women has been unusual for them my eldest son 18 came to me last week and told me that his stepsister disposes of her used sanitary products in the trash can they share but doesn't use toilet roll or sandwich bags to disguise what they are and it makes him uncomfortable which i think is reasonable my sons are boys and don't want to see their stepsisters period products on full display a few nights ago i went into the kitchen to grab a snack and she was there doing some work for university my wife had mentioned that she knew she was on her period so i took it as an opportunity to have a word with her i told her my sons were uncomfortable and asked her if she'd mind putting her used products in diaper bags or flushing them down the toilet she laughed and told me it was rich coming from a man who sheds like a gorilla and has produced three skid marking sons which i thought was just an unnecessary attack i've been nothing but nice to the girl and it's hardly a comparison my sons shouldn't be subjected to her unhygienic products if it makes them uncomfortable she went on to lecture me about how tampons can't be flushed and that it's bad for the environment if she uses diaper bags for everyone which i think is just an excuse i called her a scruff and told her that this was my house and that what i say goes i later asked my wife if she could have a word with her and she told me i was being ridiculous and that her daughter has had her period for 10 years and knows what she's doing when i told her it was making my sons uncomfortable she said my sons needed to get a grip and turned over and went to sleep this is a genuine issue to me and she didn't care enough to have a discussion about it i asked my stepdaughter again in the morning and she did the same as her mother completely dismissed it both of them have told me to stop being so silly but i don't see how i'm being unreasonable when it makes my sons uncomfortable for what it's worth i use the term family loosely my sister and i are no contact with her dad and stepmom and to sum it up it's due to his neglect and allowing her to mistreat us for years we told him we were done told him the reasons why and he had no objections but asked that my sister will still allow him to be part of her kids lives she agreed but said he had to make the effort which he has not she has sent him pictures of her kids yearly and he has not responded i was pregnant at that time but my pregnancy ended in a stillbirth which i don't think he knows on to the show i am pregnant again haven't told my dad because clearly he can't be bothered with the kids and grandkids he has so why bother i went to an ob appointment last week and had the unfortunate circumstance of seeing my stepmom's best friend i hoped she wouldn't recognize me or at the very least just keep her mouth shut appointment went fine except a couple of small issues combined with my previous pregnancy history my age 37 and an abundance of caution has put me on bed rest husband and i took this week off work to move into a new home so my mom was also able to take off work and help him pack while i lay around like a beached whale well guess who showed up in a fit of rage my stepmom she was absolutely in a state saying i made daddy cry when he found out he's going to be a grandpa and didn't tell him by the way he was with her my husband was annoyed my mom was too and they were telling her to leave i could only hear bits and pieces from where i was police were called long story short this whole week families from my dad's sides and stepmom's friends are saying that i'm an idiot for keeping my dad from knowing about his grandchild they said the whole thing could have been avoided if i had just given him a courtesy phone call but i don't think i owed him anything when i was a kid my mom started having an affair my dad told me that mom was cheating on him and we would conspire together to catch her he would take me out to the amusement park or restaurant and we would make plans for how i would catch him talking with the other man and stuff like that at the time i felt really close to my dad and like these outings were quality time and good bonding moments i didn't hate my mom really but i was mad at her and wanted her to stop the affair so that her and my dad wouldn't get a divorce not long after though my parents did start divorce proceedings and my dad moved out and my mom's partner moved in and became her boyfriend in public i got some amount of choice in who i lived with and i picked my mom i didn't want to have to change schools and i didn't want to live in my dad's small apartment most of the time my mom's house also felt better in a way i couldn't put into words when i was younger looking back i think i've recognized that it was more stable and calmer i'm older now and i still live primarily with my mom and see my dad every other weekend he wants to have more custody and i hate to say it but i'm pretty happy with the current arrangement my mom married her partner and we get along well i mostly think of him as my stepdad and not my mom's affair partner he is kind of a goof and is always in a good mood he does this thing where he gets really really intense over a new hobby but never keeps it up for long so it's kind of become our thing to do that together and like build 10 of a ship in a bottle and stuff like that i don't condone the affair but i forgave my mom for it because she's a lot happier now and is practically a different person when i'm with my mom and stepdad we feel like a regular family my dad loves me and is really making an effort for me so i feel really bad for choosing my mom his words and having the time split be so unequal he's tried to quit drinking many times over the years and keeps going back and forth currently he is drinking but not every day i love him but i don't want to live with him half of the time edit forgot to say i am a girl my stepmom is overweight and cross-eyed she actually has corrective glasses for these but she's too lazy to wear them but she loves to comment on how fat i am even though i weigh less than she does and how ugly i am since i never wear makeup or do my hair around february i decided that i would change my lifestyle while weight loss is part of my goal my main goal is to just be healthy i've been more careful about what i eat eating more vegetables and proteins quit eating take out food and start exercising for 45 minutes a day five days a week i've lost over 45 pounds and while i still have a long way to go to get to a healthy weight i'm very proud of myself for kicking my bad habits because i've been feeling so good i've been taking care of my appearance as well washing my face more often using makeup tutorials to help me with my makeup and doing my hair i'm still not confident enough to post my pictures but i'm slowly building my self-confidence my dad's family lives in texas and for some reason they're convinced that i haven't changed or kicked my habits while they notice i've been wearing makeup more often and am getting better at putting it on they're not convinced i've been losing weight thinking i'm making it up so over mother's day weekend i facetimed with my dad my sister was there and mentioned how pretty i looked and i enthusiastically said i've reached the weight mark i was aiming for this month i couldn't see my stepmom but i could hear her smirk when she said right sure you did she'd been making comments like that for a while and i got mad so we got into an argument that i'm not going to get into i finally got so mad that i stood up and showed how i was wearing my shorts which used to be too small for me and how they were now too big i turned and lifted my shirt and pulled the waistband outward to show how they were barely staying on my hips now my stepmom said wow i didn't know you're that big and i lost my temper and said i would ask when the last time you stepped on a scale was but we already know you probably broke it in the mirror too with your messed up eyes my stepmom started crying and said i already know i'm fat and ugly you don't have to remind me she ran outside and my dad got mad at me weirdly not about what i said but how i was showing off my weight loss actually everyone in my family is mad at me except my grandma and my sister sister actually clapped for me when stepmom left they're saying i took it too far and should just forgive and forget i really don't think i'm in the wrong but maybe i shouldn't have lost my temper i am 20 and i have a stepbrother ethan who's a kid he has a girlfriend cindy if you can call their relationship at they're so young and dating to them just means hanging out at recess and writing cute notes in school my dad married ethan's mom the two of them are really busy and have me babysit ethan often i swear i've probably done more raising of this kid than anyone recently anyway he told me that he has a second girlfriend now i asked him what her name is and how they met he said jess he met her at after-school activities i asked what cindy thinks of her he said he didn't tell her i asked how he thinks the girls would feel if they knew he has two girlfriends and he seemed to dodge the question i talked to him about how you need to be honest in your relationships or it will make people very sad and feeling betrayed when the dishonesty comes out this is a topic i feel strongly about my dad cheated on my mom with ethan's mom my own mom is no longer with us it was a really difficult time in my life it still hurts and it's important to me that i have more integrity and expect more integrity in my relationships and friends i want to bring my step-brother up with honesty and integrity too so ethan actually talked to both of the girls first jess she told him she didn't really want a boyfriend anyway she just wanted to play and forget it then he talked to cindy and they apparently made up and she wanted to keep being his girlfriend and best friend if he could promise they'd be each other's best friends no matter what we had a long talk after this i asked how he was feeling he said he was feeling happy that he'd been honest he was feeling really guilty after our first talk he didn't like how it felt to be lying even though it had seemed fun at first i told him about how proud i was of him how he was learning to do difficult stuff and be a good honest kind man something that some people do not learn until they're much older some people never learn how to at all and he'd done a very grown up difficult and kind thing i thought all was well then a few weeks passed and suddenly ethan's mom was furious at me she had found out about what i'd asked ethan to do and thought i'd overstepped i'm a babysitter and i was trying to discipline him and teach him like a parent i lost my temper at her and said that i'd been the closest thing to a parent that he had for a year and that the lesson i was trying to teach is something every child ought to learn before they grow up lest they engage in infidelity and tear a family apart she said that i was not welcome in her home if i spoke to her like that so yesterday was mother's day my mom passed away in july and i've been still struggling with it it was my first mother's day without her i kinda just wanted to forget mother's day even existed and get my mind off of things so i spent it with my aunt who has been like my mom my stepmom can be very controlling and get mad easily i always try my best and do what she asks recently we got into a fight and she screamed in my face and called me a witch and manipulative she said i wasn't special that my mom died because hers died too she came into my life at a young age and she should have been the mom i needed but she's offered no support she's honestly made my grieving with my own mom worse and just harder to deal with but she does help around the house gets groceries etc we don't fight all the time and honestly just don't talk to each other so it made me think that maybe she just wanted to be appreciated was i the idiot for not wishing her happy mother's day at our thanksgiving get together my stepmom who has only been with my dad a total of two years announced she was pregnant i was not happy and instead was shocked so i didn't congratulate anyone or say anything nice instead i shut up and spent the rest of the night alone with my biosister the stepmom already has six biochildren one of which i've never even met now her and my dad will have nine kids to their name by the time the child is born i will be almost an adult and stepmom's oldest would be about 33. i feel like this child will not have the life it deserves with almost all its half siblings grown up moved away and working on their own lives i also can't imagine my dad parenting again as he has not had a good relationship with my sister and i for a few years further he refuses to discuss anything important with us when he remarried we were told jack and he's not willing to have a heart to heart or even a short discussion with us about what he's doing with the new child he is doing the same my sister and i feel abandoned and pushed to the side are we being selfish or do we just make do or ignore it and live our lives you

Channel: ASK GURL

Views: 233,494

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit greedy stepmom, reddit stepmom demands money, reddit kick out from home, reddit stepdad, reddit step sister, reddit stepsister, reddit inheritance, reddit money, reddit stepfamily

Id: j-ZYRlBKkUY

Length: 18min 17sec (1097 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 18 2020