Mom Kept Pushing For Me To Give Her A REAL Grandchild, Even Though She Knows It Will Kill Me... AITA

[Music] am i a hall for telling my mom she could hold her grandchild at my funeral so i-28 female cannot have kids without death or serious injury and passionately do not want them nor does my husband and no before anyone assumes we're a kid hating monsters we don't dislike kids we have a combined total of eight nieces and nephews all of whom we love dearly they just can't live in our house my mother bless her heart is currently infected with baby rabies her friends keep getting grandkids and the best i'm willing to do is dogs yesterday i was talking on the phone with my mom and she casually brings up how nice it would be to have a baby around now i have a policy for people trying to pry out my reproductive affairs and that policy is to make them as unfreaking comfortable as i can so they never ask again my mom has never been on the receiving end but she has seen me do it the first time i'm like nah too much work and they don't even get cute for like three years puppies are born cute and stay cute but she kept pressing things like dogs won't love you like kids do and here's where i may be the a-hole i snapped and said well if you want a baby that bad i can make sure to put it in my wheel that you can hold it through my funeral my mom just made a noise like a mouse being stabbed on and hung up on me she now is refusing to answer any of my text messages about anything i might have overreacted just a little and she is my mom so mre hall edit yes my mom knows about the health conditions i was born with them and they've worsened over time i'm very transparent about not being able to have slash not wanting kids but i do love the kids in my life now for the top comments not daejol you tried handling this with tact your mother pursued the topic and you told her exactly what would happen should you decide to ever have children you would die i don't see what she has to complain about when there are eight other children running around why does she need a baby from you i'm her only biological kid she won't feel like a grandma till i pop one out apparently well that is very cold do your siblings know the stance that your mother has taken regarding biological grandchildren no my mom dotes in my siblings kids she adores them really part of the eight total are on my husband's side and i have two half siblings i didn't meet until i was 23 and they have kids i'm on the same boat as you so i'm going with a firm not a hull what is it with people not respecting someone's choice and not having kids just because we are made to reproduce does not mean we should have to the thing i hate most about people don't accept the no are those who say oh you were young wait for your biological clock to kick as if saying okay barb whatever you say i'm going with not ahold on this yes it was over the top but i salute your willingness to commit to something like that she's your mom and she's seen you deal with this in the past so i don't get how slash why she would think it would go any other way and why should twist the knife into you for something that more than likely hurt like hell when you learned it it hurt a lot initially i was devastated because in the area where i live people usually start having kids pretty young and everything has to be kid friendly but about the time nephew started coming i realized that i really disliked taking care of babies and by the time i got to college i discovered how much fun it is to be the cool wine aunt but every so often it still hurts especially when my mom presses the issue edit so my mom did message me back and apologized she'd also like us to come around 12 p.m to tidy up the yard and she's going to pay us with luncheon beer now for the next story am i ahal for not getting to know my nephew and knees and not wanting to bring them into my home i 27 female have an older sister 28 female or 18 months apart in age i have a two-year-old son she has a five-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter i have never met her kids my sister and i never got along and i'll be honest that i don't know why it started petty's tough more than likely but i'll always remember that my sister wished i had never been born she told me multiple times she told my friends too our parents really hated it and i remember all the times she would talk to us about not having to be best friends but we should be respectful and not mean we went to therapy individually and together they tried to get our cousins to help things not by forcing time together but by trying to encourage less hostility when i graduated high school she didn't show up and she got a lot of crap for it and then when she showed up at our cousin's graduation a week later in a different city she made her feelings very clear that i should not have sent our family after her i didn't but she blamed me and that if she hadn't been clear before that she never wanted me for her sister she wished i had never been born and everyone would have been better off without me around ask her whatever did she told me she didn't have to tell me anything and to leave her alone so i did and i have she refused to bring her kids around me she would give ultimatums to family either invite her and exclude me or invite us both but she would not be there she had a fit at our grandmother's 70th birthday because grandma wanted her to come anyway and she showed up and wouldn't bring her son in who was a baby at the time because i was there it seems now she has calmed a little our parents babysit for her and they have shown me texts where she told them it was okay to have me around them they ask but i said no i said no for two reasons i know that she would stop that axis at any time for any reason and i could do nothing about it and i'm worried if she did that it would hurt my son as he gets older and if he got to bond with him i should also point out she had a very nasty response when my parents tried getting her to meet him my parents don't get my refusal they told me i should jump at the chance then a week ago they asked me to watch the kids for two hours for them i said no i said i didn't feel comfortable with that my parents throw me to pieces for not doing more to have a relationship with my niece and nephew and that i should be ashamed i am having some guilt about my decision am i the a-hole not they hull you are under no obligations to rebuild bridges other people burned yeah some people like walking with a can of castle and spilling behind them and let's match in their other hand you do not need to put time and resources for building the bridge when they will just burn it back down again not stay home she has hurt you repeatedly in the past and damaged your relationship it's entirely your choice whether you want to try repairing it or not but honestly given that she hasn't even offered an apology it doesn't seem that it would be worth it and your parents should stay out of it since you're a grown adult and can handle relationships yourself she doesn't want to repair her relationship with me she's just open to me meeting her kids that is what partly worries me more would she use her kids to hurt me more probably it's possible she just wants a free babysitter not daehole your sister is a toxic and manipulative woman parents as well in my opinion by continually trying to force opie to just get over it and pushing boundaries this isn't run-of-the-mill sibling bickering i'd bet opie's sister would be livid if she found out opie's mom tried to get her to babysit those kids alone like it's great they got them into therapy but they are nearing 30 now and as inconvenient as it is for the rest of the family to have to deal with their unwillingness to even be under the same roof as each other they need to stop trying to force it next story is titled a maria hall for refusing to share baby stuff with my step-sister because we're never going to know each other as sisters title sounds bad my step sister and i have been in each other's life since we were two me and her three for the first decade we primarily live with each other in the household with our married parents she saw her mom on occasion but in general live with me mom and stepdad the times she was with her mom were pretty terrible because she would come back adam and to reject and hurt me one time she told me she hoped i would die so her dad would let her live with her mom my step-dad had her in therapy most of our time together was spent with some form of supervision because of how she treated me when she was 15 then she decided to go live with her mom and cut me off even going to the length of ignoring me in school and acting like it didn't exist when she was 19 she started speaking to my step-dad and mom again and over time me but she never really stopped being passive-aggressive about us not being related she would say i was her dad's step kid or say i was someone shaming with her family when talking to other people i admit it was hard because we could have been sisters but she didn't want that or was taught not wanted as luck would have it we're now both pregnant at the same time she's due about three weeks after me and she's been trying to be all buddy buddy while also saying things like they're never going to know each other as cousins and it's not like we're real sisters so i think she's mostly trying to get free stuff i ended up with a surplus of clothes because my partner has a huge family and they all gave us a ton of newborn clothes my stepdad was helping me box stuff up and he mentioned it to my step-sister who wanted them i said no she said it was witchy for me to say no when i had too many to use i told her i had already promised some to a friend which was true she told me family trump's friends i said we're never going to know each other as sisters so we're not really family and she left but then told my stepdad what i said he told me the fact she was asking said she was maybe ready to move forward i told him it's not true but am i wrong am i ahol now for the top comments not dejo don't give her a thing she's being manipulative yep she can't treat you like crap for so long and then try to be all let's be friends that's dumb don't give her the baby's codes find a way to make it clear to your stepdad that she just wants stuff from you and tell him about her previous comments not ahol exactly if she really wanted to be family and put her past behind her she would first apologize then try to build a relationship without trying to get free stuff from you to prove she's sincere she's only after your stuff not ray hall not dejo she's clearly trying to play you and your step-dad off against each other this is a sad situation it's obvious that her mother has been teaching her to hate you all her life probably to get back at your step-dad for leaving and now your step-sister is an adult she either hasn't figured this out or can't be bothered to do anything about it but that's not your issue regardless of the cause she's a deeply toxic person for you to be around and you're fully justified in limiting your contact with her as much as possible hopefully she'll realize what's going on here and what it's costing her and do the work to deal with her toxicity i wouldn't count on it though not nejo she isn't ready to move on she's ready to get free handouts exactly not daehole you are perfectly entitled to enforce the boundaries she created and also give your thanks to people of your choosing [Music] now for the last story am i a hull for telling my grandparents that they need to have off and stop asking when they are getting great grandchildren my 17 female grandparents on my dad's side are obsessed with the idea of having great grandchildren they generally ask and do a lot of things that make me uncomfortable like asking about very personal things and constantly overstepping boundaries i have two sisters a younger one 15 and an older one 19. my dad cut contact with his parents when i was around seven or eight but after him and my mother divorced he started talking to them again my older sister invited them to her 19th birthday last year and that was the first time we saw them in eight years or so my grandpa is a speech type of guy or whatever you'd call it so he wrote a speech to her he included a joke in the speech that was something along the lines of oh and your grandma and i better get some great grandkids before we expire i'm not even sure if she wants kids or not not that it's even any of my business but i remember how uncomfortable she looked after my grandpa told that joke every time we've seen them since my sister's birthday they've made some comments or conversation about great-grandkids my sister doesn't like confrontation so she made my dad talk to them about how it makes her uncomfortable it makes him comfortable too lol they told him they understood and that they'd stopped doing it but they didn't i've also confronted them about it but they always just laugh it off they crossed the line completely two weeks ago it was my birthday they had bought me a gift that they gave to my dad a few days in advance because they were going on vacation when i opened a gift from them and read a birthday card it said something that roughly translate to now you're almost to phage to give us those great grandkids your sister won't give us as if my sister or i owe them anything we don't owe them crap my dad got really mad and called them on the phone as soon as they picked up i asked him if i could talk to them they gave me the phone and it was my grandma she said happy birthday jeremis did you like the gift i ignored what she said entirely and just started ranting and said you want to know something i don't want kids and if i ever do decide to have kids i'm gonna adopt she sounded completely shocked as if it was completely natural for me to not want biological kids she then proceeded to ask me if it was because i was gay i told her to laugh off and that it's messed up that they're so obsessed about great-grandchildren when my sisters and i their grandchildren are literally all still teenagers then i hung up and told my dad that if he was gonna call them back he better not do it while i was there i regret what i said to her and that i haven't even thanked them for the gift yet i'm just super embarrassed about how i talked to her am i the ajo not dejo her retort asking if you were gay as the reason for not having children deserves a fiery response and kind i see why your father went their contact for a while and maybe you should follow his lead i'm thinking about it but i don't want to make them feel bad especially because they're already really sad about missing out on so much of me at my sister's childhoods and yes the gay comments was really just the last straw for me i'm thinking about it but i don't want to make them feel bad then they should stop acting bad there is a reason your dad wants no contact and you are seeing some of it now ask him about it if it's not too touchy for his subject not daejol i actually laughed when i read that part sometimes people just need to be told leavey alone with a few curse words glad it could make you laugh and yeah it's just i don't know on one hand i feel like they had it coming but on the other hand i might have overreacted wtf your sister is 19 and they are pushing kids you are 17 and they're pushing that's weird i get that they're from another time or whatevs but you really should not even think about having kids right now and even if you are older it's annoying and none of their business they can wish grandchildren if they want but there's no way this kind of pushing is okay i'm so baffled because you're so young not they haul at all [Music] you

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Keywords: bf, aita, r/aita, relationship advice, reddit stories, update, bridezilla, entitled people, cheating, girlfriend, wife, husband, divorce, parenting, relationship, advice, mother in law, relationship stories, dna results, not the father, parental, reddit update, reddit relationship advice, reddit relationship, reddit cheating, aita update, family drama, open marriage, Curious Redd, open relationship, x bf, caught, stories, cheat, x gf, reddit, askreddit, surviving, infidelity, gurlcan reddit

Id: kgtrRPEa8Bw

Length: 17min 8sec (1028 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021