Ex School Bullies, What Made You Change?

people who used to be school bullies why were you so mean and what made you realize you were mean thought i was funny liked making people laugh at others expense i never thought about their feelings until i was much older now i tell my kids every day before school to be kind and everyone's friend and to stand up for people i want them to be good humans i was really into ninja turtles and power rangers and mortal kombat people would make fun of me i was one of the biggest kids in school so i would physically retaliate years later when i ended up average size and people grew bigger than me i turned to bullying people by being the funny kid but i was just mean i wasn't funny i never had close friends because of all this i work in child safety and interview a lot of current and former bullies you're probably not going to get honest answers out of the worst bullies the people on the fringes the ones who are bad but not awful are going to reply they can often reflect on it they were abused at home bullied by others or just angry at the world for other reasons the genuine bullies the super cruel girls or boys almost never recognize how bad their bullying was either they were so deeply traumatized by other stuff that was going on more intense violence at home or sexual abuse that their memories just aren't there or worse they don't think they were bullies they are still bullies i was like 15 stroke 16 and it was towards one girl she began to date a friend's ex said friend told me she took her boyfriend and a bunch of drama i acted like a typical mean girl towards her and it was rough turns out my friend was the worst and i had acted awfully to someone who didn't deserve it i ended up messaging her on myspace and called her we worked it out we're actually really great friends now and can laugh about it 15 years later we swap books and i see her quite often we actually talked about this very situation last time it made me tear up thinking about how mean i was at that time i'm so glad i sucked it up and admitted i was wrong i was bullied a lot at school at summer camp there were one or two others who had it worse than me and it felt good to finally not be on the bottom rung didn't take me too long to see what i was doing and i started to feel bad same here i met with the guy i picked on in middle school for similar reasons but he acted completely normal as if we were always friends he held no grudge against me despite what i had done i realized i almost destroyed someone a hundred times more kind than i am and it still haunts me for days whenever i recall him one of my many bullies messaged me on fb about 15 years later to apologize and said she did it because her older brothers were mean to her a lot of bullies are abused at home i had a bully contact me on facebook he was very upset and apologized for how he treated me turns out his son is now being bullied at school and he finally realizes how hurtful the behavior is he sees his little boy coming home crying every day in misery i didn't have the heart to tell the guy i didn't remember him i was a horrible bully until i had an epiphany in the fourth grade i was horribly abused at home by my parents and all my older siblings i was the smallest youngest and the most ridiculed in my family they would take my stuff lock me outside call me [ __ ] and gave me no privacy they would jam my door with towels so i couldn't close it and poke at me all day no matter where i tried to hide i remember expressing that i felt like a caged dog being poked at with sticks i could nash my teeth and rage at them but it only made them laugh they tormented me for fun then when i would cry they would get upset and punish me i got shoved in a dark closet for a few hours on occasion alone in the dark i wanted to feel big and independent i wanted to have a place where i wasn't the lowest on the food chain it started with the realization that i was lonely i was so alone all the time this then led to the realization that kids were scared of me and hated the way i made them feel over time i was able to understand that i was making them feel exactly how my family made me feel i was doing to others everything i hated having done to me it was unfair they were just like me and i had the option to exempt them from what i went through every day it took a few years to fully turn around 12 years later i've just found the kids i've bullied i reached out to them each personally in as few words as possible i apologized i told them they didn't do anything to deserve it it wasn't because of how they looked or that i didn't like them i bullied them because they were nearby and i needed to feel big that the hate they experienced was not a result of who they were i expressed to them how i'm working to create resources for kids like myself so that they don't bully others like i did and that i hope they were doing well i wasn't looking for any forgiveness or to feel good about myself i wanted to limit the pain i caused as much as i could but let me tell you the responses i got from those people were beautiful the kid i bullied most told me he had already forgiven me and over the years realized i was probably in an unsafe situation he said he even prayed for me a few times i was mean because nobody loved me i was a sponge for every ounce of anger and hate my household poured into me i was mean to others because it squeezed the sponge out a little it wasn't right i'm going to make sure my kids never have to go through that thank you for sharing this i'm sorry for everything you endured but impressed by the way you chose to turn over a new leaf what a great way to make amends i hope you continue to heal and help others heal really inspirational i was a bully in like third fourth grades and it was absolutely because my home life was crap so i visited that crap on others but then i knocked over a kindergartner making his nose bleed really bad and he started crying nothing snaps you out of being in butthole faster than hearing a little kid sobbing for his mommy not everyone stops when they see they've hurt someone else good for you for making that choice when i was younger i have really heavily bullied i tried to be as nice as i possibly could and thought of i could only be nicer that they would eventually stop and want to become my friend they would steal my books that i would read at recess because nobody would hang out with me then would drop my pizza on the ground when i was gone and then watch me eat it they would go through my desk they would throw things in my hair make fun of my clothes pretty much everything my grandmother was dying of cancer and a kid like to go up to me during recess and laugh about it and tell me how she was going to die she was one of my few safe spaces since i didn't have a good home life either when she died something in me broke i couldn't take the way life was going for me i wanted to kill myself at 12 then i just started saying all the things that always went through my head come backs to things insults eventually i made friends after i stood up for myself the defense stuck and i would just say unkind jokes to people i wouldn't say i was a bully but i wasn't nice anymore until the girl that i constantly insulted said to be i don't know why you're so mean sometimes we're friends this girl that i would say crappy things to every day thought that i was a friend this made me sad and i decided that i would be her friend but a real one i stopped being so crappy after that now that i was away from my bullies and wasn't being hurt by them anymore this answer made me tear up thank you for sharing i never realized it until years later multiple people told me what and butthole i was and how hard i made life for them when i started to look back i realized it and feel terrible still think about them most days and wish i wasn't that way i am actually good friends with a lot of them now and they still don't let it slide i guess the best i can do is to really preach how wrong it is to my kids and how people will forever remember how you treat them even if you are a kid i went to an all guys high school it wasn't small but my graduating class was the smallest the school ever had and everyone in the honors classes pretty much had the same classes together at the time i thought we were all friends joking around with each other and giving each other crap it was a locker room type environment all the time but looking back there was definitely stuff that could be considered bullying but at the time everyone is laughing and you don't really realize what's crossing the line between funny and mean i don't really talk to most of them now and i'm not exactly sure how it was received but i'd definitely apologize to a few of them if our paths crossed i was bullied myself by jock kids and i bullied the kids below me in a crap rolls downhill sort of situation i thought i was being funny with my cruel jokes and amusing my friends but i was just being in butthole i've had the opportunity to apologize to a few people i bullied in the past and i'm glad that i did i hope i raise my daughter to be a better person that doesn't bully people she finds different i was physically bullied by one person in the year above me through junior school which in the uk is up to 11 yo then i had a great year after he left and went to secondary school i remember going back after summer holidays and being absolutely elated at the prospect of him not being there then when i moved up to secondary it started again particularly on the school bus one afternoon on the way home he had me pinned to the seat trying to stuff paper into my mouth i couldn't breathe i exploded i was filled with rage i beat his face with my fists he ended up on the floor the day after he came to school with two black eyes and his lips cut he claimed his dad had beaten him i never had any trouble from him again the funny thing was i didn't feel good about it i knew he was only doing it to make himself feel better that was pretty obvious to me some years ago i saw him on facebook he joined the army and been discharged for some reason i genuinely feel sorry for him and completely forgive him i did selective bullying and some of it was to fit in or be liked i grew in a christian conservative household and my parents were not role models i grew up believing the gay community was an abomination whom deserved death it was really hammered to hate them so in middle school if me and a couple of friends found out someone was even remotely suspected of being gay or even had a soft spoken voice we'd make that kid's life a living heck constantly calling him the ft word telling them extremely graphic insults i remember this one kid carlos i decided to mimic all those cartoons and kids movies where they grab you by the legs and flip you upside down and shake the money out of your pockets i mostly did that because there was these project kids who were the bully of bullies no one messed with them they'd even bully other bullies if they weren't from the projects anyways i thought by making them laugh and showing how tough i was i'd win their good graces it did work they immediately thought i was awesome and hilarious after that though they always expected me to do something crazy which honestly i started to hate cause of the pressure eventually though i met this girl kimmely who i crushed really hard on she wouldn't become my gf unless i stopped being a bully which i did she was also my first gf turned out carlos was a really close friend of hers and her groups i had to put up with being nice to him so i could keep my gf all the constant exposure to him and tolerance really let me get to know him and i remembering being confused that he wasn't such a bad guy or sick or effed in the head like my parents and other adults had led me to believe he was pretty much just like any other dude except he was gay i even asked him why he was gay and his answer really had me dumbfounded that moment was a stepping stone because it made me question a lot of what i had come to believe i started questioning my religion looking deeper into it reading a bunch of articles online about homosexuality and other things and when i confronted my parents and other religious role models about my findings their answers really made no sense it was just a ton of contradictions a lot of them not understanding modern science about sexuality psychology neurology after that i couldn't participate in their beliefs anymore and i become agnostic i learned to think three times after that i learned to be empathetic too a quality i severely lacked had it not been for my gf at the time i always wonder would i still have become a better person no gf after that ever challenged me like that ethically ever again they'd just accept me with all much baggage and anger but not kimmely she didn't play games she pushed me anyways indoctrination is a bee and a lot of my wrongs was due to the simple fact i was taught the worst of the worst things ro good job kameli i was bullied just a little but i had friends that really liked me and protected me a few times a bully or two got their asses stomped by my bigger and better friends and they stopped being dongs my one friend called it a soul cleansing i actually fought one of my bullies twice my size he won but never fricked with me after that my son had a bully and after my ex-wife talked to the teacher then the principal and nothing happened i told my ex now it's my turn i told my son the next time the bully messed with him punch him square in the nose he did and lo and behold problem solved they became somewhat friends i bullied someone who cried a lot in the fourth grade i felt bad because he cried so i became his friend until i moved to a different middle school in the sixth grade i was not the most accepted person in school ever i didn't really have friends until i was in the eighth grade and my first real friend was a schizophrenic drug dealer i just got an expelled from a very religious school and this was my introduction to the rest of the world after being sheltered from atheists and drugs my whole life safe to say i fancied him and he could be really mean i was a donk to people to impress him because it made him laugh also i really hated myself and needed anything to make it better i hadn't have lots of mental issues but i think about it every day and it really wasn't an excuse thanks for sharing man i hope you're slowly working things through i was never a bully but one day i did randomly punch a kid in the stomach the way he looked at me as he began to cry made me feel like i had been punched in the stomach poor kid his wee face was all wtf and to this day i have no clue what possessed me to punch him in that moment i wish i could explore this with hypno regression or something if that's even a thing this happened to me in sixth grade i walked into the bathroom and this kid i had never seen before punched me in the stomach to this day i don't know what possessed him and i don't recall ever seeing him again after that day but i remember being terrified of going into the bathroom every day at school for like three years i wasn't directly a bully but i wasn't the nicest person and would be hostile why years of harassment bullying to the point of suicidal tendencies people pretending to be my friend and then making me the joke of the group ever watch my friend armor that was how i was treated except instead of damarisms it was charisms and that resulted in me being neurotic with severe trust issues who gave people who may have wanted to be my friend for reals to get the cold shoulder i lashed out toward my best friend and severed a relationship i am trying to repair at the movement i am ashamed of my past and have been working to apologize to the people who i hurt in the past when i was in high school we had a 15 minutes class at the very start of the day contact which was basically a roll call you'd start the day by going there get marked off then go to your first class it was also the only time it was a mix of different years there was this kid who was a couple of years above me i didn't know him didn't see him anywhere never spoke to him and had nothing to do with him i still remember his name to this day daniel he decided to pick on me one time he grabbed my change of sports clothes out of my bag and threw them up in the air into the spinning ceiling fan just because other times he'd just be a dong to me once he decided to grab my lunchbox and have a look what's in here 25 years later i was doing a computer job for this woman i recognized her last name and asked if daniel was her brother she said he was then i told her that when i was in high school he was in my contact and used to pick on me for no reason and i never knew why since i never had anything to do with him i said i still remember it to this very day then the kicker he says to me oh well that would have sucked you know what he wouldn't even remember it now he probably wouldn't even remember that happening at all he's just a normal guy and is married with kids and works so remember everyone if you get picked on or pick on someone they might remember it forever and that set of events for someone else didn't even register as being a memory i also recall going to my 20th school reunion there was a chick there who i said to hey you know when we were at school i really didn't think you liked me much i know we didn't hang around and we weren't in the same groups or anything but i really thought that you didn't like me much at all she replies with i think me and my friends were a bit intimidated because you guys were the computer nerds and smart and stuff and we weren't that smart we went to school in the 1990s when computer people were freaking social outcasts etc though our computer people were pretty sociable and chuck awesome parties with everyone coming and drinking etc etc so i guess we weren't the average nerds i used to be a bully by hitting people and putting tape in girl's hair i used to get into fights every day and made my mother very sad what made me snap out of being a freak head is when the school resource officer gave me a talking to i bullied because i would use to get bullied and my parents would berate me and lower my self-esteem to make myself feel better i would bully other kids to somehow make myself feel better i have changed and i hope that people will find me as quiet and chill instead of the arrogant prick i was a few years ago my best friend in your seven became my bully in later years her mum used to slap her so hard and her brother once stabbed her in the foot it was a heck house of demoralization but still hurt like heck when she turned on me i used to bully people for attention and got so hated by people around me that i finally tried to figure out why i had no friends and then it hit me that i was rude and annoying to everyone around me both my parents are alcoholics so they just ignored me constantly and the teachers would only give me their attention when i was bad i just deeply wanted the adults around me to care i'm now 19 and i have been going out of my way to be as kind to everyone as possible and i have moved out of my crappy parents house so i'm now the most happy i have been in my life i'm also studying to become an allied health care professional but the thought that i have hurt so many people's feelings and made them feel bad will always want me and i hope those people are doing well in their lives i wasn't a bully but was the subject of it until eighth grade i wasn't in the same school for the first half of the year and when school ended the year prior i was only about five feet four when i came back almost eight months later i was cracking six feet one and i was about 230 pounds no one recognized me at first once they did the people who bullied me all of them even the super rough ones went hands off and i only heard little bits and pieces from them i got lucky not everyone gets this kind of opportunity but this is also for everyone out there reading this that can i spend that last half of a year making friends with kids who got bullied i was a deterrent i couldn't stop all of it but they thanked me all the same for making it easier i was told by one of them a couple years later in hs that if it hadn't been for me making friends with him he was going to kill himself i wasn't a normal bullying that i picked on nice bit weaker kids i bullied bullies from my earliest memories whenever i saw someone usually a bigger boy picking on a kid boy or girl i'd go ballistic and just attack like a rabid animal yes i bit scratched kicked pulled hair anything i could to injure the bully my third grade teacher jokingly referred to me as the peacekeeper because no one ever got picked on when i was on the playground it wasn't until a particularly bad incident in middle school bully ended up in aiku cops were involved etc that my parents finally shared with me that when i was in four i witnessed my babysitter's ex boyfriend break into her apartment and stab her nearly to death a neighbor called the cops and they found me next to her in tears shrieking and covered in her blood my parents had been keeping it from me because they hoped i'd forget about it and be normal thanks mom and dad but the brain doesn't work that way took a decade of therapy and serious work to undue my knee jerk reaction to cave in a bully's head judo was a big help i still can't watch any movies or tv shows with bullies this includes my wife's favorite show hex kitchen that would really freak with you good on you for working through it though i was pissy and unstable from living with a toxic but asian mother who would beat me senseless for the smallest stupidest things sometimes to the point of me bleeding or bruising when my dad finally realized she wasn't worth keeping in our lives it helped me calm down and eventually i realized i became the same sort of monster my mother was hurting people for tiny stupid crap that didn't really matter and i regretted it i noticed a sort of vicious cycle my mom always bitched and complained my grandmother was toxic as heck to her beating her with glass till she bled and supposedly doing nothing while she was raped i don't know how true this is and could be just misremembering her psychotic ranting and yet my mother became the same monster she claimed my grandma to be and i didn't want to repeat that cycle anymore i admit i ain't perfect i say and do my fair share of cancelable crap all the goddamn time but i'm at least a less violent person than i was being trapped with my mother and i want to keep continuing to hopefully improve from the monster she made me i'm the father of two beautiful little brats i can't help but shed a tear as i read everyone's comments i'm sorry to hear you all went through what you did i appreciate that you shared your experiences if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 6,230

Rating: 4.9624414 out of 5

Keywords: school bully, school bullies vs boys, school bullies taught a lesson, school bully story, change story, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: 17goy7-1-pg

Length: 23min 50sec (1430 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 27 2021