-Paula, did you toss the treat? -No, but I know who did, and she's ducking behind
that female anatomy statue. It was Gilly! ♪♪ -Okay, class, let's pick up where we left off yesterday,
on page 55. In the last chapter, Margaret Dumplecracker just
landed on Giraffe Island. Let's read on
to see what she finds. Who?
Did someone -- Who just threw a milk carton
at the blackboard? Was it you, Liam? -No.
I'm a good kid. Just ask my stupid stepdad. -Was it you, Sam? -Don't look at me, Mr. Dillon. -Cindy, did you throw
that milk carton at me? -Of course I didn't,
Mr. Dillon, but you'll be happy to know
I saw who did, and I'm not afraid to say. It was Gilly. -Gilly? Gilly? -Uh-huh. -Gilly, did you throw
that milk carton? -Sorry. [ Jaunty tune plays ] ♪ Her name is Gilly
and she's at it again ♪ ♪ Causing lots of ruckus
like a barnyard hen ♪ ♪ She's always
bringing trouble ♪ ♪ Her head looks like a bubble ♪ ♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -Sorry. -Okay, let's go around the room and everyone can read
one paragraph. I'll start. Okay, uh, "Giraffe Island
was an island full of giraffes. Margaret had never
felt so short." -Ow! Ow! Ow! -Cindy, what's going on? -Mr. Dillon, I was just sitting here,
reading ahead and noticing typographical
errors in the book when a certain someone,
who I'm not afraid of, attacked me
with a bouquet of pencils! -Was it you, Liam? -No, Mr. Dillon. I was busy doodling a giraffe
eating my stepdad. -Sam, did you do this? -I can't move my arms, so,
once again, not possible. -Mr. Dillon, Mr. Dillon,
I know who did it! -Gilly? Gilly, did you stab
three pencils into Cindy's body? Gilly? -Sorry. -We'll have a talk
after class, young lady. And, Cindy,
please remove those pencils. You're grossing me out. -Yes, Mr. Dillon! -Alright, let's just move on
to your homework assignment. I asked you all to write
about the perfect island where you'd most like to live.
Sam. -"'My Perfect Island'
by Sam Jeffers. The island that I would
most like to live is called No Gymnastics Island, where you don't have
to take gymnastics when you don't want to and
break your arms up real bad." [ Flames crackling ] -What the --
What's that burning smell? -Owwwww! Oh, oh, thank you, Mr. Dillon. My tie was on fire! -Okay, I can see that. Who set Liam's tie on fire? Was it you, Liam? -No, it wasn't me.
I swear! I was getting ready to read
my essay, "No Stepdad Island." -Was it you, Sam? -You're kidding me, right? -Cindy, did you
set Liam's tie on fire? -[ Sighs ]
For my own protection, I'm gonna say I have no idea
what you're talking about. -Hey, I'm full of oxycontin
for kids, so I'm gonna spill it. It was that one. -Gilly? -What? -Gilly? -Uh-huh. -Gilly? -Yes. -Gilly? -What? -Gilly? -Uh-huh. -Gilly? -Yes. -Did you set Liam's tie on fire? -Sorry. -Alright,
I've had enough of you. Come up here to the front
of the class. -[ Gasps ] Hey,
she's making fun of my limp! -Gilly! -Sorry. -Alright, I'm starting to think
that maybe you're the one who causes all the trouble
around here. -Yeah, quick thinking,
David Caruso. [ Thwack ] -Oh! -Someone just shot an arrow
into the principal's ass! I'm sorry, children.
The buttocks. -An arrow?
That's terrible! And we say bum in here. -I apologize. In the bum's ass.
But I did find this attached to the arrow. -Gilly, when we weren't
looking for a second, did you shoot an arrow
in the principal's ass? I mean, buttocks.
I mean, bum. -Uh-huh. -Oh, Gilly, I didn't know
this was your bow. I like it.
Here, okay. -Alright, Gilly,
your behavior is entirely -- [ Gunshot ] Gilly, did you just shoot me
in the foot? -Uh-huh. [ Gunshot ] -And again, in the same foot? -Sorry. -♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ [ Gunshot ]
-Sorry. -All right, children. I would
first like to congratulate our four science fair finalists. You've all done
an impressive job. As you know, the first prize was originally
Jonas Brothers tickets for you and two of your friends. But due to budget cuts,
the prize is now a healthy lunch prepared by my sister
at our condo and a private lecture
on wood beetles, which I think is going to be
a really fantastic opportu-- What the... Hey, all right. Who just tried to hit me
with a drinkable yogurt, huh? Was it you, Liam? -No, it wasn't me, Mr. Dillon! I was concentrating on
holding in a nervous toot before the final judging! Oh, great, there it goes. -Was it you, Sam? -Um, you have to use your arms
to throw things, right? So, no. -Hunbyort, our German
exchange student, was it you? -Mr. Dillon, I'm not afraid
to tattle on ze perpetrator. It was Gilly. -Gilly? Gilly? -What? -Gilly? Did you launch
a drinkable yogurt at me? -Sorry. -♪ Her name is Gilly
and she's at it again ♪ ♪ Causing lots of ruckus
like a barnyard hen ♪ ♪ She's always bringing trouble,
her head is like a bubble ♪ ♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -Sorry. -Okay, let's begin. We'll start with you, Liam. -Okay. For my science project, I built an automatic litter box powered by a potato battery, and all you have to do
is attach these wires -- -Hilfe! Hilfe! -Why, "Hilfe" is German
for "help." Oh, my gosh. Hunbyort! -Someone has forcibly
inserted silverware into my hairless chest. -Who did this? Was it you, Liam? -No, Mr. Dillon! I was just realizing
that if I win this science fair, it's going to be open face,
insert bully's fist. Oh, no! -Sam? Did you do this? -Can you see me? -I know who impaled me. Ze culprit is Gilly. -Gilly? Did you stab Hunbyort
with a fork, knife, and spork? -Sorry. -In my village, we have a word
for children like her. It's pain in ze butts. -Gilly, we'll talk later,
little missy. Okay, and, Hunbyort,
please remove those utensils. You're making us all hungry. -Yes, Mr. Dillon. -Okay, let's move onto Sam. -Okay. My project is entitled, "I don't think it's fair
on a field trip for teachers to force you
to ride a horse that has crazy eyes
and a bad attitude." -That's a-a very creative
and personal project, Sam. You should give yourself a hand. -I'll be sure to do that
in about 6 to 8 weeks. -Is something burning? -[ Muffled screaming ] -All right, all right.
Who tried to electrocute Liam with his own potato battery? Was it you, Liam? -[ Muffled ] No, it was -- Ohh! -Was it you, Sam? -Can I curse real quick and you guys just
forget it ever happened? -Hunbyort? Did you
litter-box Liam? -Mother, I want a one-way ticket
home to Frankfurt. I have looked in ze eye of the
devil, and her name is Gilly. -Gilly? Gilly? -What? -Gilly. -Unh-unh. -Gilly? -Yes? -Gilly? -Uh-huh? -Gilly? -What's up? -Gilly? -Yes? -Did you do this to Liam? -Sorry. -Okay, you come over right now
and apologize for your behavior. -Mr. Dillon, zis is an outrage! -Gilly! -Sorry. -You're officially disqualified. Now, stand over here with me for the remainder
of the science fair. Hunbyort, it's your turn. -Yes. In my project,
I wanted to resolve whether a frog
prefers salt to sugar. But where is ze frog?! Where's Waldo? -Sorry. -Gilly. -♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -Gilly? -What? Sorry. -All right, children.
Settle down. Now, before our class begins, I want to apologize
for all of my tears yesterday. Yes, my mother let it slip that
she didn't find me attractive. And then I told her that -- What the... Hey. All right. Who just
tried to hit me with a sizable scoop of Chubby
Monkey Hubby ice cream? Was it you, Liam? -No, Mr. Dillon! It wasn't me! I was busy trying
to forget last night when Grandma tucked me in
and her dentures fell out and her wig fell off and everything went crazy
in my face! Oh, gosh! -Was it you, Sam? -Um, let me see. No, I don't think so. -Paula, did you alley oop
the scoop? -Mr. Dillon, no! But do I know who did?
Of course! Hello?! It was Gilly! -Gilly? Gilly? -What? -Gilly, did you launch
a generous scoop of premium ice cream at me? -Sorry. -♪ Her name is Gilly
and she's at it again ♪ ♪ Causing lots of ruckus
like a barnyard hen ♪ ♪ She's always bringing trouble,
her head is like a bubble ♪ ♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -Let's do it. -Now, just before class,
I was told our foreign exchange student has
arrived all the way from Italy. Now, remember,
her English may not be -- Oh! Uh-oh. -Buongiorno. -Well, welcome. Uh, Gigli, is it? Why don't you go stand by Paula and watch as the other kids
show their art projects? -Hey! She pushed me! -'Scusi. -All right. Liam,
why don't we start with you? I believe you were going
to make a sock puppet? -Oh, I think I got confused. I made socks for a puppet. Oh, gosh! -Ow! Hey! Someone help! -All right.
Who punched Paula's face through her weird
giraffe painting? Was it you, Liam? -No! I was just looking
in my lunch bag and realized that Grandma
must have packed it for me. Oh, gosh! -Sam? -Uh, well, yesterday, a fly walked around on my face
for like 30 minutes. And I couldn't do anything
about it. So, no. I did not. -Well, I don't know
who could have done this. -Mr. Dillon, OMG! It was Gilly and Gigli! -Gilly, did you do this
to Paula? -Sorry. -Gigli? -Mi dispiace. -She said sorry. -Girls, we'll
discuss this later. Now, Sam, let's move on to you. -Well, as you know,
my options are limited 'cause, uh, my arms are broken. So I just ate bits off
of this wheel of cheddar cheese until it looked like
a clipper ship. -It's just okay.
-Aah, aah, aah! -Hey, what's that
whimpering sound? Liam, you've been socked! -[ Whimpering ] -Okay, who stretched out Liam's
tiny puppet sock over his face? Was it you, Liam? -[ Whimpers ] -Sam? -Oh, I would like to harm
everyone in this room. But here's the situation. My brother had to zip my pants
this morning. -Paula? Was it you? Gilly? -What? -Gigli, is that wine? -Si. -Put that away!
It's not lunch yet. All right. Now, did you girls
puppet-sock Liam's face? Gilly? -What? -Gigli? -Che cosa? -Gilly? -That's me. -Gigli? -Si. -Gilly? -What's up? -Gigli? -Spaghetti. -All right, that is it. I've had it up to here
with you two. I'm going to write you up and --
Hey! Stop that. Now, put out
those cigarettes immediately. Gilly? -You got it. -You, too, Gigli. -Prego. -Now, if there are no more interruptio--
[ Explosion ] Gilly? Did you explode Gigli by tricking her
into putting her cigarette out in a can of flammable
paint thinner? -Sorry. -Gilly! ♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -Arrivederci. -Ladies and gentlemen, Gilly! [ Jaunty tune plays ] ♪ Her name is Gilly
and she's at it again ♪ ♪ Causing lots of ruckus
like a barnyard hen ♪ ♪ She's always
causing trouble ♪ ♪ Her head looks like a bubble ♪ ♪ Knock-knock, who's that? ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
Yeah ♪ ♪ Knock-knock-knock-knock,
who's there? ♪ ♪ Ohhhhh, yeah, yeaaaaah ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Yeaaaaah ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ It's Gilly ♪ -It's Christmas. -Okay, kids, put away
your math books because it's time to decorate
the class Christmas tree. And, also,
I just got to the point in here where I don't know
what's going on anymore. I'll take this home with me. Okay, kids,
let's start by everyone presenting the Christmas
ornaments that you made. -Yay!
-Oh, boy! -Liam, let's start with you. What kind of ornament
did you make? -I made a Christmas angel
out of my grandma's pills. Oh, no! I just realized, without
these, Grandma's gonna go crazy and dance in front of the gas
station in her nightgown again. Oh, gosh! -What about you, Sam?
What's your ornament? -Well, considering this --
or what I like to call my "I can't move my hands"
situation -- I would like to present
a popcorn garland that took me six days to make. Oh, it's finished. -Sam, get real. Paula, I hope you made
something appropriate for our beautiful tree. -Actually, Mr. Dillon,
I made three ornaments. Together, they represent
my ideal first Christmas. This is Robert Pattinson
as the baby Jesus... Taylor Lautner as Joseph... and Adam Lambert as Mary. -Paula, I have one statement
and one question. I love those,
and are they for sale? [ Hissing ]
Hey, what the -- What's making that hissing
noise? Liam? -Uh, it wasn't me, Mr. Dillon! I just accidentally swallowed
one of Grandma's pills while I was kissing the angel, pretending that it was
Jill Franklin from French class. Oh, Jill.
Je t'aime. -Was it you, Sam? -Well, for the record,
I don't make hissing noises. And if I were to, it would be in
the privacy of my own bathroom. -Paula, is it you
making that sound? -OMG, WTH, Mr. D.? BTW, I'm not making that sound,
but I know what it is. Duh! It's Gilly's ornament. -Gilly? -Uh-huh. -Gilly? -Yes. -Running out of time here.
Gilly? -What? -Gilly, did you bring in
a lit bomb as your ornament
to put on the tree? -Sorry. -Gilly! -Oh, no. It's almost 1:00 in the morning! I must have fallen asleep after
the children's Christmas party. Wait. Did I ever go? [ Scoffs ] I always lose control
during the holidays. Bah humbug! [ Metallic clinking ]
What is that noise? [ Clinking continues ] Gilly, is that you? -Boo. -Oh, I know -- I'm dreaming,
and you've come to teach me about the true meaning
of Christmas? -Unh-unh. -Hm. Then are you just
hoping to scare me? -Unh-unh. -Are you here to introduce
another Christmas sketch? -You got it. -And scare me? -Little bit. Watch this. [ Metallic clinking ] -Okay, okay, class. Everybody
settle down your mouth. No more jiggling. This is sex ed class. Now, I'm going to draw
a very realistic sketch of my "vajija." Okay. Who threw that tiny, little
cherry pie for one? Was it you, Liam? -No, Mrs. Roberts! It wasn't me! I'm still thinking about that woman in the birthing video
you showed us and how she looked like
a naked Dora the Explorer. Oh, I'm confused! -Was it you, Sam? -Are you for serious? These are casts. I have to flush
my toilet with my forehead. -Paula, did you toss the treat? -No, but I know who did, and she's ducking behind
that female anatomy statue. It was Gilly! -Gilly? -What? -Gilly? -Yeah-huh? -Did you throw America's
favorite dessert at my head? -Sorry. -♪ Her name is Gilly
and she's at it again ♪ ♪ Causing lots of ruckus
like a barnyard hen ♪ ♪ She's always bringing trouble,
her head is like a bubble ♪ ♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -It's on. -Now, class... Now, class,
when you hit the puberty, your body's going to go crazy. There is gonna be acne, hair, especially in
your no-no regions. But don't be scared. Now --
-Help! Help! Mrs. Roberts, look! -Paula, why are you covered
in maxi pads? -They're soft,
but I don't like it. -Liam, was it you? -No, Mrs. Roberts! I was still picturing the woman
in the film. Just thinking about her makes me have to put heavy books
in my lap. -Sam, was it you? -Are you for serious? I'm a human goalpost. -Yeah, Mrs. Roberts.
It wasn't him, it was Gilly! -Gilly? -Uh-huh? -Gilly? -Sup, G? -Gilly? -Spit it out. -Did you sew Paula into
a bunch of feminine napkins? -You got it. -Gilly, for years
at this school, you've been causing lots
of trouble like a barnyard hen. Sometimes I don't know whether
to shake you to death or to hold you close
to my "bossom." Frankly, I am worried about what life
has in store for you. Have you thought
about that, Gilly? -Let's check it out. [ Twinkle! ] [ Monitor beeping ] -I'm sorry to say,
it doesn't look good, Gilly. -We did everything we could, or felt like doing. -Thanks, Doctor. -Any last words? -Come closer. Closer. Oh, wait, you got something
on your tie right there. -Aah. [ Flatline ] -She's gone. ♪♪ ♪♪ -I was faking it. [ Twinkle! ] -Now, do you see why it's important
to be nice to people, Gilly? You died all alone
in that flash-forward. I ask you a question. -Shove it, lady. -Gilly? -Stick it, lady? -Gilly? -Suck it, bitch? -Gilly! -I'm sorry. I don't know
where that came from. I went too far
on that one, you guys. I really went too far.
I'm sorry. -♪ Knock-knock, who's there?
It's Gilly ♪ -Again, I'm sorry. That was --
That was too much. That was not cool.
