Episode 53 - Kiss my Son

you know what's [ __ ] good everyone our tour tickets are now available tiny meet tour.com if somehow you missed one of our 20 million posts Cody and I are going on tour early next year go buy you a ticket we're doing 25 shows a lot of the VIP is sold out thanks to our patreon or so big shout out to them so if you're thinking of coming to see us tiny meet or Calm get you a ticket right now right now they've been on sale since 10:00 a.m. so let's just get it all right and now here's the actual podcast piece alright boys were back the knees are exposed it's about to be a good episode no you got to start with what's up guys this is technically last week's episode yeah finally the patreon is get to hear that yeah yeah finally because this is technically last week's episode owned [ __ ] guess what ladies and gentlemen presale tickets for the tour are up there up right now well they're actually yeah tickets for the sale if you're listening to this on iTunes tickets for the sale are already up yeah tickets for the sale I just said tickets for the tour show are on sale now yes it's not one show it's many show many shows yeah it's a whole tour anyways they're there they're up we're going to 25 [ __ ] cities yeah with the potential for more oh you know what I'm gonna listen now let's not say the potential from worship no that's gonna bite us in the ass yeah yeah it's not us that does it's funny because like I feel like that oh there it is there the sound you this is this is very interesting you guys don't hear this sound what we do it's this like it just sounds like an alien is hovering over us what sounds like a little alien is standing on my shoulder it is going in my ear like a real like frail small alien skinny you know he's just he's like he's sitting on a sybian in our there sounds like little alien on a sieve yeah like little alien he's like an orgasm he landed on earth he went to the sex shop first thing he did is got a sybian yeah and shrink himself in the sibian yeah so he could be discreetly riding the sibian at all times I just think like as we're recording this just think of it think about it from our perspective there's an alien coming in our ears at all times while we're doing this podcast for you guys anyway we're going to Berkeley Portland Seattle Salt Lake City Denver Lawrence st. Louis Minneapolis Chicago Detroit Columbus Cleveland Pittsburgh Astbury Park a spurbury Park dude that's why everyone doesn't want to bury my [ __ ] foot in your asses nice New York Washington Boston Philadelphia Baltimore Carrboro Nashville Atlanta Orlando Tampa Dallas Austin hell yeah you know it's funny this the venue that were playing at in Carrboro the cat's cradle yeah it's the same venue that I went and saw you remember remember you never listen to dubstep did you not really okay I've had a pretty big dubstep face yeah did you yeah I think I could only a million dollars or sophomore year yeah we went and saw Russ Rusco I don't Roscoe yeah you know ask oh oh oh that guy's doing all right oh yeah me too he got cancer or something yeah yeah when some he when he was huge like when he first like we came to America basically this music and everyone was like oh yeah you heard this guy from from London Ruska resko you probably wouldn't hurt him but he like knows dubstep you probably don't know what that is but it's like heavy bass music he played in North Carolina in Carrboro and I was like oh I'm definitely going so me and like three friends drove from Durham Yarbrough and watched no actually it was Major Lazer was the second person that I ever saw at that venue and then I saw them both eveni Rusco opened for Major Lazer that's what it was and well this was when Major Lazer was like Diplo and switch hmm and it was two of them DJing in suits and they had like that Caribbean dancers yeah just going apeshit on the stage right like the dude set up a ladder then jumped off the ladder daggering basically air-hump yeah yeah anyways he he jumped up and grabbed one of the speakers one of the giant speakers I was hanging in the corner and it we're all standing right underneath it we were like front row and it just like swung and some of the dust from the roof like from where it was roof like came on we're like we all would've [ __ ] if that like like if he had like a little bit more force on it if it came down we would have splattered on the ground sick that is soul I love that I love that for us yeah love that anyway yeah was it um I don't know random number anyways limiter my phone off that was annoying anyways dude memories you know memories yeah so now we're going back there the cat's cradle and Carrboro I think I think that's what it is I don't know question that car I saw hit here someone commented they're like dude come to rally next time I'm like dude gonna Carrboro this time that's not that far yeah make the drive brother there's this funny like the it's like the number one response to a tour announcement I always thought like oh we announced a tour people coming back dope you're coming my city dope you're gonna see 90% of the comments are for [ __ ] what does she why are you coming to Moscow dude me Moscow people always get [ __ ] over I understand all our LA people being upset though yeah we already done we've already done two shows though that was almost two years ago what the very first like la la Orange County is not LA it can't yeah I guess it doesn't really count nobody [ __ ] drives not like oh yeah we haven't been in like la la in a minute no we did a show there a year ago no it's more than a year ago is it yeah no because it can't be it was our podcast what's that only it was in December no it was October and we took it on a whim oh yeah that was yes sure yeah was last year yeah I mean yeah I mean so yeah not to but like get or get bitten in the ass but we're hoping some places get added yeah I talked to him today and he was like he was like we'll see what we can do yeah we're hoping some places yeah oh man and and also for my Canadian people I'm sorry yeah I got so many comments being like mmm [ __ ] wood yeah you [ __ ] us over you're not loyal to Canada no I am loyal to you guys I'm I'm gonna be going through visa [ __ ] then so I can't technically leave the country yeah so I've been in a business thing man the backend and like just setting this [ __ ] up I'm crazy I know man speaking of traveling dude I was your house your race it was good it was good it was fun yeah yeah I mean yeah it was good it was like it went way better than I thought yeah I didn't train like nearly enough as I should have which is the same place I was in last year yeah um tangent real quick so go buy a ticket yeah yeah sure oh yeah yeah yeah yeah buy a ticket they're on sale right now if you're listening to this on iTunes if you're listening patreon they don't still for you they're on sale for you we're doing the resale for you and only and the password is tiny meat that's the password yeah go so go get you a ticket yeah go or a cure some ticks everybody else um I stayed up till I've stayed up quite a few nights working out or a little like promo trailer it's not very long but it's like I don't know it's taking a lot of thought yeah I don't know why that's funny though I like it Thanks I think it's great yeah no I think we did a good job with that it's gonna be fun we're gonna be doing comedy doing comedian comedian things so comedian that's a thing we're gonna be doing a funny so we're going on tour so that's a thing that's a thing it's gonna be jokes like that non-stop for an hour we're actually just gonna say things in the room and then say that's a thing right afterwards yeah and then we're gonna say doing a singular of stuff yeah what do you mean what are we doing a funny yeah I'm doing a funny yeah or going a joke yeah or two yeah yeah doing a joke or do Oh hi this is Cody Cohen Noel Miller and we do the internet thing bad boy we're gonna do all the jokes yeah that's that's you don't make me feel physically ill right now this marketing speak yeah the boy ovt had a hilarious tweet this isn't like marketing people be like just add ing to the end of everything I started thinking about am i yeah that's like what they do yes seriously funny enough it's like I hate that word so you know what are you doing you did yoga that's not a dull ting what are you talking about yeah what are you drinking Rosie yeah adulting Rosie in a park on a Sunday no for [ __ ] yourself you're not an adult yeah yeah I think I don't know whole qualifies you as an adult um having a kid and hating it cuz it looks like yeah yeah your ex-wife yeah yeah being an adult is like having [ __ ] you don't want to do but knowing you have to do it yeah funny you go through like as an adolescent you have chores and then you grow out of chores and you have this like 10-year period where you just like do whatever the [ __ ] you want like granted you have homework and responsibilities and [ __ ] but mostly it's about you that's true and then you just shift back into having chores yeah yeah as an adult you know saying I mean I mean every comic talks about this like when you move at least oh sorry no no like when you're straight hetero male and you move in with your straight hetero female counterpart it just becomes living with your mom yeah yeah it's like living with my mom but it's not my [ __ ] mom oh yeah yeah I'm recognized that was either there was a Debbie Byam code I play yeah we were just talk we just listen to disease yeah that beat is so [ __ ] hard and actually I was reading an article the article is about the producer mmm that beat went like totally viral because Kodak black posted on his Instagram but like that the instrumental he was just doing that dance to it yeah and it [ __ ] blew up and there was people sending him videos of people listening to the beat like just the beat ripped from Kodak's instagram at like clubs and [ __ ] what yeah that's how crazy I went for the official version even came out that's why and then it came out rocketing number one and I was like like listen does this is the dopest beat ever and then in the article says that dude is the same dude who made taste by Tyga and basically like researched Tyga's career he's dude he's got a sound like he picks dope sample yeah he's a beast da da man that's his name by the way he [ __ ] straight-up did like make Tiger a thing again yeah he did he's not crazy it was like Yeltsin I knew you were his [ __ ] but I'm gonna make you fire thought when I was in oh man I got a I got a lot of bad jokes today okay baby the knees are exposed [ __ ] yeah knees are out to play we're in the same thing actually means same genes so much like hoodies yeah I'm loving all my monster truck merch it's dope I got it I got a new favorite monster truck what is that bro dozer yeah I saw that what clean it's only turbo diesel the bro dozer bro does it run over frat dudes I mean no it's run by frat dude no I mean yeah I guess yeah it will be the bro dozer it would be like anti frat yeah okay line up a whole bunch of likes actually my dad's a ninja and a bunch of gamers it takes like 20 of them to steer it you know they'd steer it remotely oh yeah sure yeah yeah yeah they would never put themselves in physical Jeff yeah I know always behind the screen you know I was like so I don't know why I got a massage and I stepped on a scale I've lost 9 pounds in the last like four months what just like I haven't been lifting holy [ __ ] and like my diets been shitty because ever since like I found on my cholesterol super high it's been like hard to adjust cuz I just used to eat like garbage yeah and it was like easy to put on weight yeah so I gotta think about it I gotta take like vegan protein tastes like [ __ ] planta he's like you don't work out and you lose weight and I didn't work out and I gained weight yeah I have to like work so hard to keep it on anyway um it was they're gonna say uh damn it my brain is off yeah I'm spaced out too I mean I'm just like tired from anyway um well is it the [ __ ] what are you even talking about oh yeah yes I said on the scale whatever and I started thinking about it I'm like not you know what I've just been I've been playing so much for tonight this is like this how you develop the ideal gamer body you actually want to lose so much weight that like you actually don't want to move a lot like your body and what actually wants you to calcify okay so like the only muscles and movable parts in your body are just your hands so you have perfect precision aim yeah it's like your spine like eventually you need to develop arthritis in your spines yeah yeah frozen in place yeah okay and so it's like you're just like one giant like rigor mortis yeah and like the only thing that moves are your hands yeah and they have that perfect dexterity yeah you know you might as well just get your whole body like cast yeah yeah you know and then so you don't flinch you don't flinch perfectly still actually a great idea yeah and your whole body is just bedsores yeah for being this hot sweaty cast you know here's that time you know those like remember when like the scariest video on the internet was like people turning into trees guys like physically turning into a tree yes yes scary yeah yeah they were like grow like awful tumors and [ __ ] like that and like make them yeah but it look like yeah a tree that actually would they weren't telling anyone was there they're actually the best gamers in the world they're growing roots into the ground so that like you know eventually they just become stapled to the ground all that happens is their girl their mom walks by every Litton because they don't have girlfriends yeah their mom walks by every I don't know every couple days and just sprinkles water on them yeah and that's how they keep going hmm they can twitch stream for I like that 48 hours like I did tree gamers tree yeah I think I saw porn one time where this dude you know it was one of those tree dudes like his dick was so crazy lover rigid yeah rigid no he was in a full body cast and that a hold for his dick okay I'm pretty sure this is real if you if you know it blow up the comments with this one moto comments you know this porn and I think he was just like in bed in a full body cast couldn't move and just how to hold for his dick okay and the girl was doing her thing which is kind of sexual assault yeah I think about it yeah if he was like stuff yeah yeah no why do you even have the hole here for your dick this is that a really shitty tree bombs world oh it's just like it's just a bombs world but it's just videos of three guys and three men yeah dream there was like three of those dudes yeah but the [ __ ] those videos went so far yeah that's all I was like I hope to god that was on there warts weren't they like were through yeah I'm sure yeah I know one of you is like a medical student you're gonna make actually well actually actually nurse not it at all so I didn't set a timer god damn it since when do you ever read today um you've gone yeah I know my haircuts not accident oh yeah I mean what time was that I mean we started that like we're just gonna be late to everything yeah dude I got a [ __ ] yeah whatever um doesn't matter no oh no point on dwelling on an hour yes our day is complete [ __ ] what the [ __ ] yeah when I was in Hawaii so we're there me Elena her sister her sister's husband yeah and their baby and so we were like babysitting him and Alena like kisses him on the forehead oh right no no you know what wait you're gonna let your girl because I'm not doing the for I mean you know I had to beat his ass right so like so she like uh she says something like she's like kind of I don't know egging me on cuz she knows like affection makes me uncomfortable okay I don't know like I can be a stiff like that huh so she's like give him a kiss I was like now she's like it's like like it's basically your nephew I'm like nah you know I've never kissed a baby something I can start now it is your nephew isn't it I mean we're not not married but oh oh yeah right right that's what she means by pretty much yeah okay yeah so hopefully hopefully hopefully soon I'll be right so see like I'm like like now you know I mean oh yeah that's gay imagine what what dude no it's a male baby no he's gonna grow up and turn into a man then basically I kiss a man that's and that's gay oh yeah I'm like I've never kissed a baby like I'm I'm not gonna do it now and then and then like I kissed a baby no no kiss the baby you've never kissed a baby no never kissed a baby never so then Elena's like she kind of reacts that way she's like what I'm like if I'm kissing any child it's it would be our child she's like so you're gonna save yourself I'm like yes yeah like Bethenny yeah I'm saving myself for our child and then I just started imagining like having like a promise ring yeah and like doing all like the like you know like the like religious yeah I like being a virgin yeah yeah and I thought about like born-again baby is there got to take away all your you gotta get like rebaptised take away all your baby kisses you've given so you can give your first one to your child as a Tom Brady day for sure yeah well you know I kissed uh I kissed a baby back in high school but you know that was on the forehead it wasn't on the lips I was that was different town yeah I only do my son's on the list it's a little it was it was different then and uh you know now that I'm a born again baby you know I feel very good about finding the right baby to share my my first kiss with my own baby no we should get pregnant we should have it right now deserves babies and just a husband thing yeah yeah I just you know I'm like you want to like Mack your baby's forehead that brings me to another things I saw one of those posts that was like you know know people are like yeah be careful who you call ugly in elementary school you know whatever yeah it was like one of those like some girls like isn't like me and sixth grade and now here's me like a ring light and like yeah I'm hot now and I'm like wait those posts always crack me up cuz I'm thinking well what are you hoping for but yeah some was like oh dude college me would have loved sixth grade you like you were really hot as a kid it's also it's funny how it kind of like it's contradictory to what they're trying to do cuz they're like be careful who you called ugly I'm super hot now and it's like yeah but you're only parading about the fact that you're hot because people called you ugly right yeah yeah yeah kind of like now I'm kind of glad I called you ugly cuz otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here right now okay I just go to the dargah [ __ ] and I just imagine like just one guy commenting on all of those people I think you looked better I thought you looked really nice yeah dudes on tick tock be like someone [ __ ] ripped my karate video and put this [ __ ] on tik-tok oh that [ __ ] blew up on there dude I searched it it had like 50,000 posters do this so I looked at like cuz you can filter by like the sound yeah so and see what linked it to me it had like 150 read yeah whatever yeah duets yeah I checked yesterday it's like 1500 yeah yeah and I'm like just waiting from the accumulate and then see if I can make a video out of it this is basically I did I looked at some of mine on tick tock I had a hundred and five thousand tick tocks out of my vine sound bytes listen how [ __ ] up this [ __ ] is okay we know I I posted so I I did a video where I was like remaking tic TOCs cuz I was funny I did it was a funny video right and I I posted it and the the beginning of it is me searching my own name just like see what the [ __ ] is on there yeah and there was a hundred and five thousand so I looked at a few of them they're just like awful rights and people just lip-syncing my vines yeah which is like just absurd concept in like in itself you know posted the video in an hour it got copyright claimed by um G Universal Music Group which is who tik-tok licenses all their music from yeah I'm pretty sure they Universal Music Group has someone going through searching tik-tok cuz it was an hour right yeah someone manually claimed it yeah someone is going through searching tik-tok videos claiming them and then giving part of the revenue I'm guessing to the tick tock yeah right because that's probably some of the deal you know they get to license to me or maybe not I don't know but anyways he's essentially because of tick tock they claim my video right now so I did a video about people lip-synching my vines the [ __ ] that I came up with and then and then they claimed my video and are taking all the revenue I'm like how much can you possibly [ __ ] me in the face get owned how I got home honed get on and in and the best part about this there was tick tock ads throughout my [ __ ] video everyone that saw my video was getting tick tock mid rolls and I put two or three Anderson like that and they claimed the video and I can't take them out so now they're advertising their own app and like basically paying themselves yeah it's like just the biggest [ __ ] of like did I ever do this video yeah now it's just a giant tick-tock hat I mean that's like why I've kind of held off like talking about them just in general how I shouldn't because they're [ __ ] they're [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] they're vicious yeah I mean they they [ __ ] nailed pay money youtuber pay money webby mm he had to get a really funny video on them he like he I think he's I think he's kind of why the tick tock sort of all that content started getting like recirculated yeah but to your point though I actually used to get a lot of um well I'm jumping around pay money so basically he did a video talking [ __ ] about like all the tick tock [ __ ] boys but he did is like musically tick tock like it was like the transition period and he got a copyright strike from them what's right yeah and he got an IQ no he he challenged it and YouTube didn't like really respond and so that he did a video complaining about it and it blew up and that's what got it reversed damn got like a million and like got like 1.5 million views of him being like what the [ __ ] bro it's so [ __ ] it's so [ __ ] your entire app is people stealing [ __ ] mm-hmm and how are you gonna copyright claim people that are actually making like fair use [ __ ] were you have your shows fair use so the music part I understand that I understand why my video got claim for the music that you can't get around but it was pretty crazy even though i if you're reacting to music isn't it fair use in a way I think you could I think you can make that case I just hate how fair use is like case per case basis it's so [ __ ] annoying mm-hm I never know if I should appeal these copyright things or not cuz it's like it's just annoying did you work so hard on the video and it [ __ ] makes no money yeah oh yeah I was like I've complained about this [ __ ] before I often did you know yeah it's just [ __ ] tick tock is annoying so anyways and and one of my videos got claims so my outro music is back to the crib right I wasn't sure a lot of you figure that out by now it's the instrumental look back to the crib which I found randomly like three years ago I started YouTube one of my videos got claimed for it the G PI video just got claimed for it by um G so so my whole channel might [ __ ] get you next week you can get you can I think you have the option to remove the song you don't hide yeah I contacted will Andy cuz his whole channel got to monetize and I asked him was like what do you do did you mute the outro music in the youtube editor and he was like I basically contacted my YouTube partner manager and she was like nothing there's nothing you can do it's tough luck so I think right now what I'm gonna do preemptively is go through and mute all of my outros yeah where they try to claim them that's what you should cuz otherwise my whole channel is about Duns and the worst part is it doesn't go to making $0 because it does for me right all my past videos that we make some going on they just makes money for Universal Music Group yeah for the [ __ ] 10 seconds I use of an instrumental of one of their songs that is the lamest [ __ ] ever yeah yeah yeah cuz it doesn't like guys [ __ ] it doesn't yeah well I mean Durant it doesn't make the video yeah it doesn't it's not at all it's not like a key part of it although a lot of I get a lot of tweets that say - you're out your music is the best morning ever yeah you know what maybe I do deserve it [ __ ] that's like that's honestly a reason why I attract woodworm yeah because I'm like um maybe I'll just make one yeah that's never a problem yeah cuz I just used to like rip like instrumentals like here and there and it was always different yeah I'm like now I need like some go to [ __ ] that I'm comfortable with that's what I was thinking I'll just I'll use it as a as a video idea making my new outro song yeah whatever yeah yeah going back to the the baby [ __ ] well I'm done with baby kissing yeah no no I was it just reminds me of because I just watched in the car the thrill define video so many people are tweeting us his girl define video it's um it's called why I waited til marriage to kiss which I'm not gonna get into it because maybe we'll do a video on it but I got me here I was like what the [ __ ] else has she been posting recently since we did because I don't really freak with their channel that often you know frequently I don't frequent so I go and one of the most recent videos is Bethenny's bachelor party bachelorette party sorry yeah and it's like it's like this brunch in their [ __ ] white ass home or whatever yeah you know big-ass mansion basically I don't know how they live in a mansion but and all the women there are like 20 and they're all have baby strapped on to them just like damn it's another fungi that's just crazy man I'm not gonna say why well like yeah that's crazy no I they want to you know why they want to kiss their baby oh yeah they want they don't want to wait it's it's when you're 20 years old you have those natural urges to kiss a baby but you don't want to kiss another person's baby huh you got to reproduce you got to do right yeah yeah yeah you got that's how God intended it intended it that you have your own babies and you you kiss your own Vater little kisses on those babies yeah why did you do that why did weird when I was talking to the captain when we were on the boat like what's a captain yeah dope name with our boy yeah boy poster um he was like we were talking about comedy and he was saying like in France and French is there any French listeners correct this man if he's just crazy and living on a boat what are you saying that comedians are like the concept of that is a little different in France whereas like comedians here like we like you know we come up with stuff and like I don't know we either want to make a point or it might be edgy or we might want to challenge something and he'd seem to be describing comedians as more just purely like performative so it's like it's not really about your opinion it's about just being funny yeah it's like it's like what's okay yeah and he was like you could literally never discuss pedophilia yeah you can't even make it's not even like this yeah like you could never go to your agent Perrigo the pedophilia bit like no that's out brother so what about a balloon you ever do you go to balloons can you tie balloons that's what your he's typing yeah that's way better that's way funnier yeah it's like I can do it in like a dick shape no no no dog works I could do it a baby shape and then kiss it that works he's like yeah he's it a kiss the baby he's the baby he's it he's a busy maybe he's away the babies away kiss is a baby keeps it master bring it into baby so I can teach them on the forehead that's good yeah the half-marathon was good jumping around in segways do it sags day I do I thought it was funny like when you run up race like there's a safe one right there what sags did what yeah I was up in [ __ ] what's-her-name's plays yeah yeah yeah sig we fugged we had sags careful now yeah she yeah she got that honored dude it's that bit for you is like swimming out into open water yeah yeah I know all right coat he Cody just stay near the boat yeah and then she [ __ ] got down on her no no no no no no Cody cuz she gave me hags she got down on her summit no more no no no no um the half marathon was bi with sig sig yeah I saw somebody ragged rag the half marathon stop yeah it was good it was like it's it's funny when you run a race like that because what happens is that like people's like tons of people will go on the streets yeah and like hold up signs encouraging you supposed to encourage you but now over the years it's only phones have been done and so many people [ __ ] do marathons now that this sign everyone have everyone that holds a sign I started like competing with each other and who can do the funnier sign mmm so it ends up not being encouraging at all and just is basically a competition for attention for the people standing on the side not doing anything right a little it's really funny so like one of them was just one of them I thought was kind of funny was don't [ __ ] your pants like just sad to to the people that are like most close to [ __ ] their pants in the city at that point you know saying another one another one which I thought was hilarious was this girl was holding a sign that said you think this race is hard try dating me no I was like this is hilarious not because you not because of your joke that you were trying to make but it's hilarious and the fact that you don't realize how much this proves your sign yeah in fact thank you somehow made um a marathon about you oh you you know saying you think this marathon is hard try dating me yeah like absolutely not I know right away that would be a [ __ ] nightmare and that was not funny at all I do love it when I'm crazy yeah yeah most men can't handle me I'm a real woman because you guys are his or her boyfriend like running and seeing that he's like mile [ __ ] 20 just hitting the wall I would have [ __ ] calories no electrolytes left he sees that sign and she's like I know he just [ __ ] himself he just stands looks at her and just [ __ ] takes off his [ __ ] yeah diaper runner shorts and just just suffocates himself on the track jams them in his mouth then just shits everywhere he just lays on the ground hoping he gets trampled yeah you know speaking of it's like those people all those people want to see when running a race like that is like a sign with like a hamburger on it like a picture of a hamburger or something yeah something that encourages you to just keep going right these jokes don't [ __ ] do anything I'm gonna swim was one of them was a sign says I trained for years to hold this sign uh-huh like the only people that find that funny are the people across the street with another sign that are trying to be funny I said I trained harder than that guy yeah exactly it's like [ __ ] all of you man we should stand there with a sign that says kiss our kids just hire like a 12 year old actor for like four hours kiss my son he's just like wait what why kiss my [ __ ] oh dude oh wow I just had a dark thought what keep going you're just gonna have me tell a joke to air yeah [ __ ] I'm a wait oh I guess we gotta I gotta see where we're at with our and read go to our read alright I guess I'll tell the joke when we get back quick break alright guys I want to thank stitch fix today for sponsoring this episode of the podcast yeah stitch fix is an online personal styling service that finds and delivers clothes shoes and accessories to fit your body budget and lifestyle all right all three of them the holy grail mm-hmm I got a sweater that I really like from them yeah yeah it's solid it's a solid piece I like the I like the idea of not shopping it's really nice yeah box shows up yeah I agree I like this I don't like that I know I agree I shop the way I shop is very efficient mmm and so when I shop with Kelsey it's like the most you know saying yeah I go in there I know exactly what I want I [ __ ] try it on am i yep and I'm out later and that's hard and that's still hard for me mmm this makes it even easier than then mmm just go to stitch fix calm slash TMG tell them your sizes what styles you like and how much you want to spend on each item you'll be paired with you your own personal stylist who will hand pick five items to send right to your door and then you try them on pay only for what you love and return the rest all right shipping exchanges and returns are free always know there's no subscription required you can sign up to receive scheduled shipments or get your fix whenever you want look at that fix need it also I would say they are like I mean there's stuff that they've sent me like if we were we were still developers yeah [ __ ] great yeah like they like working professional gear yeah they like I think I just put in like a weird mix I started like getting it's like half the box is kind of like kind of like professional like working profession it is but their fire yeah I'm like this did like I would never buy clothes ever again dopest fit at fullscreen yeah I know it's like solid like nine to five [ __ ] like it's like comfortable I can team's like goddamn this more [ __ ] funny no it's like all the clothes are comfortable they look good and like you know they don't have logos and [ __ ] on them like you can you know yeah you can't respond anyway we're all miles out there you should check them out pop it dude stitched fixes styling fee is only 20 bucks which is applied toward anything you keep from your shipment all right get started now at Stitch fixed comm / team G and you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all five items in your box that's stitch fix comm / TMG to get started today one more time okay stitch fix comm / TMG you know just thought about like the Nathan for you should like hosting like a kissing booth at a carnival okay after they pay you're like alright great and like you like pull back some curtain any kid walks out like go ahead they're like wait a second what he's a social experiment yeah right there To Catch a Predator would you kiss this [ __ ] kid yeah would you kiss his [ __ ] kid or what hey what the [ __ ] is going on Joey [ __ ] salads and today we're gonna see if people want to kiss kids in the [ __ ] mouth so I set up this [ __ ] kissing booth right about this [ __ ] kid he's [ __ ] hot and I'm gonna see if anybody wants to kiss my sir sir what's your name Tom Brady all right Tom you want to do a kissing booth for what um I'm a five-time Super Bowl winner I would absolutely love to do this yeah I can't I can't keep my lips off things trophies my wife what's next give me some okay bring him out let's say you bring her out yeah whatever bring them out dad oh yeah what if Tom Brady thinks he's got like some winning energy in his lips who's like if you kisses things oh yeah I like that that's predatory as [ __ ] yeah it really is you know if I kiss you you know good fortune comes right mm-hm I don't like that every time I kiss a trophy comes back to me no no I mean the link mmm I like that at all you know what the [ __ ] as good as Joey [ __ ] salads he [ __ ] salads here arena we're down here in [ __ ] liberal California and everybody's crazy out here mm-hmm so I got a kissing booth now we're gonna spice things up all right now we're gonna put a [ __ ] we're gonna put this kid in the SS Nazi suit okay and see really just how everybody reacts to after they pay for the kiss if they're still gonna kiss him with the Nazi suit on it's like what what are you what are you trying to test everybody says Trump supporters and Nazis but also a kiss kid yeah yeah let's prove that that not only Nazis Nazi sympathizers but pedophiles as well so so that's what we're proving now it's amazing how many uh pet like catch a predator base show some some kids luxury pranks did one I saw that [ __ ] what was that I saw that last night to catch a predator tick tock there's like millions of views on that [ __ ] I was like I think I just skimmed through it I think it's like they set it up like they found a predator on tick tock and that actually happened really yeah it's based on whatever think they got inspired that but yeah it's like a it's like a tick tock like I had shown on stream let's it's in a lot of videos it's like this older like turtle looking move dude he like legitimately looks like like a geriatric Voldemort like he looks bad okay and like it looks bad and I was like a bunch like really sexual vines like with a belt and like he'd have like a bunch of those duets with like really young girls like they're blowing kisses and he's blown them back no no so some girl like tweeted about it we talked about this I don't know whatever did some girl tweet I think we did but I think it might have been not on the podcast maybe a some girl tweeted that he is a he was centered creepy messages so some other girl did some [ __ ] like entrapment so she like kind of led him on and he like saying like a bunch of [ __ ] like I should I like you but I shouldn't and stuff like that yeah and what happened and apparently got nailed by the cops then really yeah a is six-nine a universal speaking it takes off probably okay why still work on this theory okay yeah this is like this is like like I'm I'm crafting like making a murderer yeah do you have like a making us 6:9 yeah do you have like a like a pinboard or whatever in your work board yeah ro board it has like like string and everything like between different leads and stuff like that how six nine blew up yeah I'm determined yeah I don't know obsess over it your whole life is gonna come down in shambles around this [ __ ] theory I just need sort of worked it musically or tik-tok to like I don't know just give me a sequel dump give me something give me a like a string of emails did you see like some success with Gummo or like that'd be so funny if there's just an email chain between like the head of tray way yeah and [ __ ] musically yeah yeah yeah I'm thinking I'm thinking we get six nines music in here and yeah you know it's great we have a pretty pretty big you know user base and the 8 to 12 range and you know I think it'd be great for your music use right away right there it is [ __ ] tray way right there eight to twelve that's the Train and stray away dog I got someone someone like misconstrued me is like 6-9 Stan okay remember I like one on that whole thing about like no he's technically not a pedophile uh-huh it was just like I was like all the headlines like six nine pedophile six nine pay yeah yeah yeah I'm kind of like now that undermines it's a lot it's arguably a lot worse okay he filmed he filmed it yeah yeah yeah that's pretty weird it's not even like that's not pedophile that's like I don't you're like really okay with bad [ __ ] yeah I mean yeah it's so it dude it's so [ __ ] weird that he was like like what's this thing scum gang or whatever um gangs like he like self-identified as like a scummy dirty individual yeah and now he blew up and his biggest audience is children yeah how [ __ ] weird is that yeah dude yeah how does that [ __ ] work oh man weird as [ __ ] I know how it works it's called music yeah do a conspiracy video about this isn't a brand-new video kind of weird which one like the one we look pulled up on yeah yeah on the anniversary of it it's weird like doesn't really want to do it yeah but he's like sitting there answering those questions you got paid for sure yeah he doesn't got paid or it's just all part of his plan yeah no he got paid but I just feel like there was you know someone was like oh well gum oh this this did quite well for us you know uh Daniel can we call you Daniel nail we think any future releases would be a wonderful addition yeah to the tic-tock library yeah no actually we got to deal with that Universal and perhaps you know you're good to us we're good to you and I mean the two pinnacles of 6:9 success musically and calm oh yeah that's a data form yeah as a bloom of [ __ ] up I mean he looks like a Lisa Frank sticker and that's what did it for me yeah cuz all those old videos are [ __ ] like cuz old music videos are Musti yeah yeah musty yeah they're well smell though yeah people talk about smellivision that is yeah well that goes to like two chicks and yep busted ass section 9 apart section 8 apartment ah yeah musty we're gonna musty [ __ ] did you [ __ ] watch the news Sagittarius video no I didn't Oh Mike is it good oh my god do you sub to her I'm not so good neither but that [ __ ] shows up in my feet all the time actually actively having gonna be like a active sub yeah on her Channel yeah just commenting like every time she drops a nuke like notifications on notification get drops a new one yeah I comment that notification game first I'm in there first thing sorry about this [ __ ] let's hear about these AB disks you took this time whatever it's a name Abdus it's not yeah yeah let's it's here but oh isn't it like doesn't mean Samoan Samoan bruh Somalian Somalian yeah it's like a common Somalian oh yeah yeah oh you better get it yeah I am Samoan Abdullah Liam Abdus have this yeah let's hear about this AB dis yo oh speaking of Samoans uh Somalian Somali no no you just did it yeah [ __ ] no no no it's Samoan I was gonna call back some [ __ ] about how I know it's Somalian no no no that look good the urban dictionary dev is yeah check out says Tara's started a new video she got a Musti Musti Musti story no Samoa Samoans is it yes Oh someone I'm Dyslexic then god damn dude I thought I was going insane so is the [ __ ] SD card [ __ ] all over yet no didn't I'm sorry I'm Somalia is a different country that's a country in East Africa but Samoans are that I didn't know that guys no I just misread that whatever um she got up yeah that who that story yeah all i'ma say it's titled my first time with another girl oh my gosh give us like a give us a taste okay here's a taste so I'm eating her [ __ ] or whatever and like you know when something tastes like the smell of something like her [ __ ] tasted like the smell of beef you know I mean that's that's your that's that's your preview right there preview right there oh it dude it oh that video bangs man yes she's awesome she dude it's so perfect like people hate that we like it but it's like for those 20 thousand minutes she's talking I'm I'm glued I'm so glad doesn't realize how [ __ ] like iconic they actually are she talks she talks about your [ __ ] tasteless like this smell of beef that's beautiful that's perfect it's perfect it really is put that on the shirt that's like actual then that's actually like poetic in a way huh tasted like the way beef smells yeah it's so [ __ ] gross I mean depends who you are some people want to just go like it or do did you not like it you got to find out okay I can't even give them I can't give that away there's some there are many men excited right now that there's a [ __ ] out there that tastes like the smell of beef I guess that's cholesterol yeah yeah oh no no no oh no god no is this sirloin no thank you who's gonna pull me back on a medication I think I can oh my get a little bite just do it yeah okay that's it got that beef [ __ ] and beef person give that roast beast [ __ ] roast beef some bad about that huh damn it think of something else oh yes mo a so I want the other thing I want I well I you know we get out the airport oh yeah how was that I was why I was working like most of it okay um you know I get out we get out of the airport and you know like you here I I worked with a guy who grew up in Hawaii he just here like Hawaiians can be aggressive you know whatever I mean he told me like in high school like they just fought like every day mmm like they were it wasn't like some people I didn't like each other but he's like dude we were just so bored okay and like they had seen you know what there's Island fever yeah I guess and like you know they just like whatever so we you know we I go pick up this rental car [ __ ] Escalade mmm a big big body we had damn it was this pretty that's pretty dope driving that thing yeah so these people on a sidewalk and it's like you know you know in LA like we just pull up people can be honest if we don't give a [ __ ] like we just pull up and it's like assumed like you're gonna move yeah you know I mean like I'm unloading [ __ ] someone's getting in the car just [ __ ] move yeah so this guy's like kind of blocking where everybody or Alena and her sister are at and she's holding like she's got a [ __ ] kid in a stroller yeah this guy's blocking me it's like park and there's these two like a Hawaiian couple they're older we park in front of them they didn't like that I'm like putting like we have a ton of bags cause like they got a bunch of baby [ __ ] says I'm loading [ __ ] into the car I look over and this one woman is like shoulder checking Elena's sister she's like I'll [ __ ] you up and then what she's like ah like she's calling out to like her husband she's like this one was like trying to hit me infant I like I like watching this unfold and then the guy starts making threats and like Elena's sister's husband is like he's like saying [ __ ] he he like says something like I don't know he's like he says some dumb [ __ ] and it was so funny what her sister's husband said he goes I think I want to believe my wife before I believe you and then the guy throws like yapping more and then he's like he's like I'm locking down the like the guy's pissed that we parked in front of him okay and then he go I I don't know and then he's like he turns around he's like I'm [ __ ] putting the harness in for my kids car seat like like I'm sorry like I care more about my kid I don't [ __ ] know you man like like just move yeah and then like they start yapping like it eventually comes out they're like you move your [ __ ] car while you parked in front of us like this and that and I'm watching this like it's all happening pretty fast and then like the dude looks at me and I go why the [ __ ] do you care man and I'm like you're gonna forget this I'm like we don't know each other you're gonna forget about this we're gonna forget about it it's taking the high road no I'm just like I'm just kind of just like shut the [ __ ] up yeah I'm like you're not gonna care about this and like even an hour yours sir let's look at this logically okay yeah for a second if you if you would neither of us are gonna remember this in 20 minutes it's not worth the energy I want us to get mad at each other most now engineering this if you if you if you look at yeah well you parked it for my full good car it's like well you know it actually depends yeah that's how you look at and you look at it this is a loading zone by wall so technically anyone can park here quite sure if you think about decked no I mean like he was like putting on like he's gonna get tough and and I just like I'd like say that to him kind of like in a condescending way and he starts talking again and I go let it go dude Michael just let it go I'm like stop talking let it go I'm like I'm not saying anything to you just like just shut the [ __ ] up and he just like kind of like he'll he trails off nice and I started loading the bags in the car and I just like keep staring at him cuz I'm letting him know I'm like oh you know I'm [ __ ] I'm light like you're bigger than me but I'm gonna let the elbows fly like I don't give a [ __ ] okay we can do this yeah if I have a shot at beating anyone it's a 50 year old man yeah I have a shot at this yeah do more what Hawaiian couple or what I got Hawaiian couple he's like a fat Hawaiian I didn't you know he was like and then they start saying [ __ ] like oh you better not see you later and cuz like the islands that small and all that and then what are you gonna do no yeah and I was like I didn't even like I didn't want to instigate anything but like I so badly wanted to be like I hope we see each other later so we can both do nothing about it then it's like shut the door and like get the [ __ ] out I have a gun yeah just go the other way with it oh yeah oh yeah oh I have license to carry in [ __ ] 49 states [ __ ] you know I got so many bags one of these is just filled with guns and I'm [ __ ] insane yeah I can actually make criminal yeah hey [ __ ] criminal guess what dude you know it's in this bag right here two hundred piece gun yeah you heard a Megatron yeah there's a gold Skarin yeah [ __ ] a chug-chug in here I got a grappler dude that actually would be really funny if I just like filmed it and just like started making it for tonight throw yeah yeah yeah just think that you're insane there's shut up dude got nine hundred mats right now a [ __ ] box you win four times [ __ ] what trap kill you trap God right here what a trap house [ __ ] gonna have your [ __ ] ice on the feet on blocks [ __ ] he's about to be you yeah there's about to be me it's about him you mean when I get that victory royale [ __ ] in [ __ ] 10 minutes just hitting it through the fence [ __ ] he's like yo what he's like what the [ __ ] is going on [ __ ] in my hand rub it all over my body what's good dude what's good what's good covered in your own [ __ ] we love for now we love for tonight he'll speaking of white honey let's get the [ __ ] outta here he said the corniest [ __ ] he goes welcome to Hawaii I hope you don't stay long like okay yeah I wish I just said something so random after that like my favorite car is a Camaro what they're like yeah yeah or like it just is this like a rant like a random like welcome to Hawaii I hope you don't stay long you'll be like well welcome to Las Vegas [ __ ] I hope you have a good time [ __ ] what thanks thanks for that welcome dude I'm only here five days welcome to the earth bro cold cold place yeah you know we're going with it it's just like the diamond the [ __ ] lame is City yeah hope I really hope you don't stay here that long in fact I hope you leave very soon I hope you have turbulence on your flight how about that huh that's what it is it's like a non threat yeah looking like a okay yeah welcome to Hawaii [ __ ] I hope you get bad weather it's like I'm still gonna enjoy it sick okay cool okay welcome to Hawaii [ __ ] I hope they're sold out of macadamia nuts at the convenience store you go to first that would actually be that actually wouldn't be fun yeah [ __ ] so stay out of our [ __ ] country that's a state sir stay out of our state [ __ ] yeah I'm sure yeah it literally just like country yeah speaking of fighting dude I got so many pissed off MMA fans oh yeah walking ups the sarcasm completely escaped him really yeah couldn't couldn't tell I was just [ __ ] around I mean it was spot like you were actually roasting them I mean I was yeah but like you know like the the cardio line like so many guys like Connor actually does have bad cardio I'm like that just goes back to your tea leaf reading bro yeah what I'm doing is I'm just you know getting my saying yeah it's just funny seeing all these people being like if Connor just had better cardio and it had better wrestling and didn't take - yeah you're describing an entirely different fighter yeah if he what didn't [ __ ] up yeah if he didn't get his ass beat three feet taller yeah he would have won yeah someone posted a [ __ ] dope clip of they were like khabib ducking connor signature left he did his homework and like it's like a it's a very early fight of Conor he has this thing where he like steps left under a punch and then and he that's where he draws his left hand he's nailed so many people on the chin with that guy he so could be walks forward tries to hit him with the right Conor steps under it brings his left hand up already could be knows it's coming and when Conor Zing's it he ducks under it and he presses into Conor damn so he had his number yeah just he got beat yeah it's just odd dude and they know Conor puts of this cringe post yesterday Oh was it it's like he's like my fight and alysus Oh Oh honest thing right now I dude like not you know it's funny he's like we can watch people like completely embarrass themselves this one made me cringe so bad really ah dude I'm just like oh you lost me and just let it go what the [ __ ] is his Instagram notorious MMA or it Oh he kinda saves it at the end by being like I got beat fair and square but look oh oh it's a text post and he's just like it's like a know what it is yeah it's like an essay and he's like grasping it like all these moments where he was like winning in the fight uh-huh and he makes it's him he tries to like frame it like oh he just caught me like with a lucky you know punch and he tries to make it sound like he didn't get like beat it's like no dude you got got yeah oh oh you know like you know like fight videos and somebody gets their ass beat and they still want to fight yeah yeah I mean this is literally that yeah yeah but like in high school it's like a high school video it's so much worse yeah like some kid gets knocked out he stands out and he's face is all blade not good dude let's [ __ ] let's [ __ ] do this boy and then a guy like walks away as I'm not hitting anymore yeah he's scared hey he's [ __ ] he lost Oh what you're scared it's like Trevor your jeans are ripped in half yeah whatever did whatever every you're just hanging out of your where's my mouth tastes like nickels dude it's the blood that's going all in your [ __ ] mouth stop talking like you got your ass [ __ ] you got reamed dude you got reamed damn I never want to be in a fight yeah fighting like hurts yeah all my friends after fights they look they would only fight like five minutes and the exhaustion they would have I think we were like 17 and tired like they're 50 I think you're like that's why you take that high road man listen I know you want to punch me right now but what good is that gonna do look is that really gonna think about it yeah what if we just abused each other verbally or right now how about that oh you see that tweet that went by over the other day that was like like you [ __ ] wouldn't last you what was it you [ __ ] wouldn't last a second you sensitive [ __ ] wouldn't last a sense Oh a second and call of duty modern warfare to lobby that Lobby was brutal it's brutal it was [ __ ] up it was so funny the other then the guy was a so defensive what should I have used yeah tell me what I should have used there instead tell me what gun I should have used instead scurry I said I'll scream they'd like their mom's a [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] just go the best part was like when he was like it was like he like calls him gay or whatever and he's like oh I'm gay I'm gay oh I suck dick is that he's like you sucking my dick that's you sucking my dick these are people that don't know each other by the way this is just a random lobby fuming that was always the best man after the death match when you just got dropped back in the lobby and you could just talk [ __ ] to the other team what a nice work fellas and what a genius move it really was the Cod developers they're like you know it's gonna be good you know people get really pissed off at games yeah let me let them talk to each other yeah that's you sucking my dick dude that's you kissing my baby that's you kissing my son on that head no no no it guess what a Oh what oh you know what you're [ __ ] 12 you're [ __ ] so I'm 24 no you're 12 and this is me kissing you Oh kissing you on the board call me Tom Brady [ __ ] mmm you like that you don't like that do me dude you can [ __ ] kiss me I wish one years would kiss me on a [ __ ] face I'm [ __ ] gay I'm gay I'm gay and all use yeah alright don't do it back dude what you stop it I like playing war games no you ever seen um do you might not this obscure like counter you ever seen a video called c-note mm nah knows it okay so there's a dude playing counter-strike and like you know at the office the OP ya know okay it's a sniper rifle encounter - like it's very loud okay and it's like a one taps people okay boom you have 100 health hundred armor who done so okay um rip yeah and so it's like the loudest gun in like 1.5 like one of the earlier versions of counter-strike and it's just this video of him demanding people give him the bazooka okay he's like hey let me get that bazooka [Laughter] he's like [ __ ] I said drop that [ __ ] let me get that bazooka right there but I don't think he knew how to play the game I can't understand like buying the gun and like it just everyone's like he didn't know why people were like buying weapons and like the beginning of the round so he just like chase people being like give me that bazooka he's so funny I bring it up I don't know if you'll find it okay he used to have to download this video unlike there's like a site called like CS flicks wasn't it both of you called cenote cenote yeah cenote counter-strike yeah bazooka well [ __ ] I'll see no gun see no plays counter-strike from seven years ago yeah my bazooka part one yeah yeah movie by Graham Gleason look at that [ __ ] know this video is older than seven years ago brother that you can't hear it yeah yeah yeah you gotta go watch first five seconds go oh my god did this [ __ ] kills me so that bring you back yeah Exeter good all day is this imagining a creep at a LAN Center just like someone's like I homie her to counter-strike is like counter what and then they go to this LAN Center and they pay $15 to play all day and he's just like loving this yeah let me get that bazooka it's just funny listening all these [ __ ] nerds being like oh you doesn't get that it's a sniper rifle yeah he doesn't play games yeah yeah he's getting the bag all day yeah exactly anyway I think I gotta go bro do you yeah well that's to go I'll do the rest of the podcast alone yeah thanks come to our tour yeah yeah sir this is the first official announcement of it yeah so we're really excited it's gonna be fun it's gonna be a good time and it's gonna be fun and it's gonna be great and as well too it's it'll be fun so come out it's gonna be a good time and it's gonna be fun it's the office you hurt you hurt it at the beginning 25 cities if you heard your city on the list then come out it's gonna be fun it's a good time and tickets are on sale now it's gonna be great as well no no seriously a tickets on sale now go cop you a ticket you got the pre-sale if you're on patrons yeah we want to see all your horny faces out there alright kiss all your foreheads kiss all is from love that's all the foreheads mom tiny mean tour calm is the website yeah so I need meat or calm show us at the beginning yeah tiny meet tour calm or just go to any of our socials more will link it there yeah thanks for listening yeah see you if you're patrons see you in a couple days in a couple days another video peace out guys gangs gang

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 289,700

Keywords: podcast, long form, comedy, interview, tmg, conversation

Id: JVexYSA0xao

Length: 67min 34sec (4054 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 26 2018