Episode 64 - Dr. Bad D

what's up guys welcome to TMZ podcasts this is actually last week's episode if you want today's episode that'll be on our patreon right now you can get it a week early if you contribute its patreon calm slash tiny meet gang so thanks if you do that and if not enjoyed this one who's starting yeah sure what happened in Netflix what do you mean like in the past what two months they just decided okay we're just gonna drop hello every dope show like every single week there's gonna be a new insane show or movie I don't know what the final table dude oh they crush that yeah I never smile I never thought in my life that I would ever feel that devoted to a chef oh sure yeah I'm saying who did you want to win the [ __ ] Australian guys yeah they were the best they were I'm not this is no spoiler I'm not saying whether or not they won I'm just saying they were the ones that I wanted to win yeah they were so damn good and they were I love those dudes they really were I really felt like they were characters in a movie and I was like emotionally invested in their you know in their future just a typical nice guys yeah what do you mean not a two but like I don't know that I not like the reddit there were nice guys they were hitting on the female wouldn't reply they would look and hit him with a spatula and tell them they're gonna kill him and all I could splash my own oil no I mean like they were actually nice dudes right dudes they had such commitment to the craft that's what I picked up from them like I love how they like interwove their story they're like life stories yeah with the cooking competition like every episode you learned about the chef's restaurant yeah it's the fact that they were so good and everything I don't know check that [ __ ] out if you haven't already final table on yeah that like trust me you're into cooking or not not just straight-up an incredible show yeah what the the chef from LA the Mexican chef yeah I forget his name yeah his story was crazy yeah just self-taught yeah he'll deal yeah he didn't go to culinary school he was working like some [ __ ] job and he just decided to open like a taco cart yeah and then now he's on the final table like his story is wild so crazy man you go from taco cart to Michelin star chef dude yeah just self-taught every other one of those people had like worked like dude the road to becoming that good of a chef is crazy insane yeah like my cousin's doing it right now yeah and he's just like now he's got this opportunity to work for this three-star Michelin restaurant in New York mm-hmm and and I'm like I'm like that Stolp I mean you got to take that right and he's like yeah and I'm not and I'm like well where you let me like this probably good money right he's like no no you work for free if you if you go if you have the opportunity to go work under a chef like that you do it for free how do you for a month he's gonna move to New York and work his ass off dude cuz it's not easy [ __ ] no for free in New York City what are you like how do you you live I think I think like he's gonna get like a stipend from the restaurant he's currently working at or something the idea is he's gonna go get super good oh they all like bagging some knowledge come back like with the menu or wherever he's working in that edit whatever but like just I mean the amount of just like you hear about the sacrifices and [ __ ] like that but it's like it's true man yeah it's got [ __ ] my cousin he's got oil burns all up his arms now he's like he's kids a beast like he's gonna be a [ __ ] unbelievable he's gonna be like a michelin-starred chef sure but it's just like the amount of [ __ ] you gotta [ __ ] go through not give up I'm gonna do that [ __ ] is nuts so it's I respect I respect all the chef's listening right now hats off man hats off to you yeah I also said that in our discord I'm expecting coordinated potlucks at all the VIPs for the tour yeah hundred percent so if there's 200 of you I expect all 200 of you to coordinate to create a line and then Cody and arrogant going to grade it you know and then we're gonna rate the best VIP based on the meal you provide okay I like that that's a good idea so are they home making these things yeah okay so it has to be home-cooked mm-hmm and every let's say one dish / two people so you can pair up with someone if you want yeah and I mean I love like potato salad macaroni salad stuffing scarbee stuff you know I say less starch in it someone said there's chef and I not opposed but then I immediately regretted saying that because we have a I said this in the discord we have a strict no [ __ ] on the bus policy right right right right so god forbid you make us something delicious you know it tastes good but it's hot as hell or maybe our stomach it doesn't bind and then we're on the road and we both have bubble guts and we got a doggie bag ourselves [ __ ] out this foie gras yeah let's [ __ ] grudge going right through me why I growl fog wah wah wah wah wah wah the way those guys look at food yes so wild who the final table guys yeah those top tier oh yeah when they buck I was I was laughing with Elena thinking the food we eat we think is good even the best food I either feel like they eat it and they think this is plastic like it tastes like [ __ ] or they have such appreciation for food they can even appreciate the most garbage of food mhm but they can still like does they bite into a pop-tart like ah yeah you definitely get the chemical processing from you know the fake fruit but it has a nice yeah balance to it it's interesting how the the acidity of the strawberry counteracts the basicness of the dough it's amazing how they do that actually works very well very well together it's very balanced dish dish what they mean you ever seen that Food Network meme there's so I was on cutthroat kitchen huh this dude had to whip up a like some chicken dish okay and someone sabotaged him by swapping out his chicken for chicken nuggets and so he the dude says like chicken is the main part of the dish there's no way I win so he puts it together and he tries to describe it a certain way he's like and this these are breaded chicken slices or something like that it's like pronouncing it yeah just french yeah some fancy can yeah right it grated blended chicken yeah whatever the the chef grating says I like to taste here but these are chicken nuggets owned yeah rekt there's like God dude we're supposed to do it's literally all I had we got to start a channel where we just described fast-food like we got to be like the mark Wiens of like like take michelin-starred terms and stuff like that and apply them to just like garbage food yeah the Carl's jr. well I was thinking while we're on the road what am I gonna upload and I thought we should do one food vlog is one food vlog we can look Mark Twain style yeah mark Wiens and that other white tune lives in Asia like dress up like them yeah like order their merch put it on hello everyone it is mark Wiens here and i'm joined with corey anderson and today we're going to be eating Texas barbecue I'm so very excited now we got here is a looks like a brisket and you can almost see the moistness here you can see this [ __ ] is dripping cousin just like slightly not professional just at random points oh my goodness and that's a lot of [ __ ] fat right there so delicious the way it just kind of melts on your tongue mmm I see what you went to the snow for New Year's wait I won't rock not done talking about Netflix oh no I'm sorry so yeah it's a bird box oh yeah which imagine my surprise when I found out it wasn't British porn uh Jerry Oh Bravo thank you brother I know that movie that movie [ __ ] me up what you and Elena how all of us man I watch it with four other people we're all we're all sweating [ __ ] sliding off our seats cuz we're so just moist with sweat I wouldn't nervous the whole [ __ ] time you get a moist backdoor in squid or scary movies I get super moist I'm a moist dude I get really moist moist back during a scary movies the funniest [ __ ] just in the theater oh god oh god it's not a good it's not only I mean it's like my you know it's like my back my knees do boys moms get moist like it was very serious I mean like I'm like a moist guy now mostly my palms get super moist do you sweat on the outside a little bit under my titties just a little - yeah that's like it that's just normal I mean it's dark under there you know you start lactating gerd milk truck see watchbird box yeah - oh how I just think like it's a very for a movie like that it's a super fine line between it being like so corny mm-hmm and it being like actually scary and thrilling yeah and it just totally like it could have been so shitty yeah especially I don't know like Sandra Bullock I feel like killed it mmm the casting was like almost bad but it was great yeah you know I'm saying mm-hmm like some of the characters were just like I don't do this crazy guy the guy this [ __ ] guy oh yeah you know yeah I'm like the studio is creeping me out yeah it's definitely cast that guy so he's so crazy that it's almost cheesy yep but it's not at the same time yeah and like this concept of like this [ __ ] invisible lost mom you know it's like the same monstrum lost the wind yeah just wind so how they made they're able to make winds Gary yeah I couldn't get past some of the writing like if some of it was so on the end granted I watched it twice okay yeah it didn't really scare me really I just watched it [Laughter] actually thought it was funny that's that's my personality actually as a person but I'm scared or offended it's funny I thought was funny dude that's funny that's such a flex when you're younger yeah see a horror movie you're like did scare me yeah I thought it was funny cuz you're literally in the corner the whole time I actually thought it was just kind of funny it was funny actually scary at all was scared I read a tweeted about it I read a funny ass review on bird box well I'll get to that in a second yet some of the writing to me was just way too on the nose hmm like like the characters were calling out [ __ ] that we had just seen like when Sandra Bullock like got in the house and she was freaking about that remember that lady that died dude who played Cyrus the virus from Conair was like that was my wife yeah that's my wife and she was fine until she went out there to save you and he just kind of floats behind the staircase and I bet it has got a true yeah maybe that's what I mean yeah like by it was almost corny cuz [ __ ] like that like takes you out of it for a second but then it actually gets scary again yeah are not even scary just thrilling you're like what what I'd want them to make it or I don't know what's gonna happen you know and I feel that that's my wife that was my wife yeah and now she's dead yeah we saw that well she's dead yeah we saw that because of you she was fine and now she's dead also pregnant lady wielding a shotgun should be the next like I don't know what if Kill Bill ever makes the comeback it's gotta be a pregnant lady with a shotgun huh when she's standing there and she's like move it takes command with that gun on the classic I mean I will say dude dude did nail the misogynistic like old dude yeah put that thing down because you don't know what to do with it that corny ass line and the in the grocery store is like we're making the army getting great again I'm like do a pretty good impression I did thanks speaks in a pretty funny way yeah it's really weird yeah all right I read the funny ass review that said um it it was like the most on-the-nose metaphor like and it has a bad message like and instead of like taking off the blindfold and facing your fears or like learning that sometimes there's sacrifice instead you just you just blindfold yourself and you just ignore everything around you and go to your safe space and then just stay there forever I don't think there was a metaphor no I don't think so either that's why I was laughing I was like I didn't get that at all maybe either I'm stupid or this person is extremely pretentious but well wrote me into that review was the first line that said in during the whole movie I wanted the kids to die and that is something I could get behind but I was like you know what that would have made the movie that would have made the movie cold as hell dude when she was trying to pick which one to look yeah I was like you're straight up about to kill one of these kids yeah that's hardcore dude that was another call-out from the reviews like oh yeah women also get to choose what babies die I forget her name she I mean she was like intentionally funny I don't think so obviously she reviews films wow it was like her genuine opinions I mean you watch enough movies you start to like find [ __ ] yeah [Laughter] they are one of the kids to die and I agreed I think one of them were both of them should have died early on yeah just some something brutal yeah then you really would have cared you really would have wanted her to make it like a bear or something you know you know not even die from the the thing just like I just mauled by a bear that's [ __ ] up and that crazy guy recent to the boat that was that was creepy you have to see it I was pretty crazy I have to see it I was like when it what is the meaning of these these people that are crazy that don't like what I was trying to figure out like a metaphor or some [ __ ] and I was like man this is just some this is just some dumb dumb dumb people deep [ __ ] it is man someone I know there's like deep EDS I know that [ __ ] guy on Twitter the rap dude the guy who can cook and whatever and you know it's still single somehow good idea yeah I know he watched that movie and when it ended he was like damn that shit's about social media the metaphor is just a snapchat dick pics yeah you have to see it over your eyes you have to see it lady open your eyes you have to come on just love this look it's beautiful come on and then everyone's huge everyone who sees it wants to kill herself because she's so tired of come on it's like it's pretty big likes bigger than average hey dude the I mean just think about the words these women chose when they'd before they died like one of them call out for her mom like please save me mama he show me his penis mm-hmm Sandra Bullock's sister she all she said was you know pretty good reaction dude it's gotta be a pretty brutal dick yeah to make to make women jump in front of trucks you gotta have a bad dick things so bad inspire suicide it's a super power you got kind of a pretty bad it's just a villain with the [ __ ] worst dick no he's got like pants like with a hole in him he moves around on a chair with his legs crossed real tight real tight not like open and businesslike like over the knee yeah a little tight just sits around and like a dr. Xavier type chair hmm give me the money or I open my legs and what's that going to do people light up in flames looking at it you know to the to this point that's the worst dick I've ever seen to this point I did some dr. bad dick yeah there you go all right we're gonna stay with it fuggee at dr. bad dick doctor dr. B D dr. bad B D looks too bad dick you think it's gonna be big dick energy yeah but it's bet yeah he's got that bad energy bad dick energy doctor who said dude doctor a bad day that's how I'm living that's how I'm coming 20 19 bad dick energy all of dr. bad dicks minions like their eyes are like black just because like they're burned out from looking at his dick and that this they're hypersensitive like smell and scent like hearing like a stray dog just weird patches of hair moles any too skinny yeah and it's got like like like growths on it it's got like spores emitting coming out it just looks like wheezing the Pokemon balls look like doctor bad dick human werewolves he just comes no warning at all it just falls on the ground yeah just looks like it's trail of sad calm it looks like boogers just not dr. bad dick doctor dr. bad day bad dick energy 2019 baby that's where it is it's where we're at you get nervous in public bad dick energy yeah you got that bad day mm-hmm girls say please stop damning me that's that bad dick bad dick energy yeah don't get the callback that's that bad I read um doing some reflecting okay I'm saying some adult [ __ ] mm-hmm okay how can i how can I be a better person next year nice how can I just improve myself classic classic end of the years yeah yeah thinking about should they just drop eight days after January first no no cuz the one I chose I've actually been sticking with beforehand so I think I can actually you know make it means okay it's mainly I'm good try not to make all my thoughts so much everyone else's thoughts - okay maybe we'll just write some [ __ ] down oh you're not gonna speak as much I'm try not to gotcha I think it's developing into uh maybe a bad area okay if I just keep down this path mm-hmm you know whatever enjoy the silence hmm a little bit and more that I don't know it's not like mania but I definitely had like these moments where I I'm like the dude from bird box like my eyes like turn into [ __ ] sunflowers and I have like a million things to say I just can't stop and say it needs to go on paper okay so I can look at it the next morning if you like yeah burn it yeah yeah really glad I didn't tell anyone prints it out in any of this [ __ ] burn it with a lighter there it goes but then I also read some some reviews on our podcast okay so you know mostly good but you know a few people were one of them I thought was an iTunes reviews couple of them yeah okay one of them had me chuckling one of them said I'm tired of Cody and Noelle doing giving made-up situations I want to hear their opinions because they have good ones and I yeah I looked at that and I was like if there's anything we need less of a good opinion sorry I got youtuber opinions we don't need any more of those we don't any more of those two more is too many yeah what the [ __ ] what opinion what good opinions are you gonna get from us that's that mean that's that's [ __ ] why people get made fun of for having podcast right there yeah because they think too highly of their opinion yeah yeah it sounds like yeah you're not gonna maybe gotta listen somebody else yeah we're not the deuce to give opinions yeah no there's plenty of other podcasts like giving opinions yeah I mean we definitely give our opinions on [ __ ] yeah I'm just saying like negative situations are [ __ ] funny yeah that's what's fun to talk about also I'm not trying to I know a lot of people listen to this whether like working or driving and all that I'm trying to no NPR and that's just that's just the way it goes I mean in my opinion go ahead in my opinion yep go I think we need more money the board schools school programs no to that point don't be a little risky you know I'm I'm sticking my neck out here okay in and out not that good so no that was one of the negative reviews you said that bad it's not bad wanting our opinion on things yeah I got sick as a compliment but I also thought well maybe you know it's a compliment but still probably not a good idea okay yeah what else hmm speaking of made-up situation okay I only bring that up to say this okay Spock and I run stream and we were joking about that situation with courage JD when the when the mom got on got on the mic like the voice chat wouldn't you remember this know whatever yeah so courage head he's like a streamer okay caster if like fortnight events and stuff okay he was that guy who he was squatted up with a couple 12 year olds and then the mom oh yeah yeah she was like yeah yeah she's like what do you normally play with twelve year olds so then Spock and I start going back and forth and I'm like no I'm a streamer and spot goes yeah I don't care what you call it I just just don't do it near my son somebody started laughing about like a dad thinking I'm a streamer it's like a code word for a pedophile oh yeah Spock goes yeah there's a streamer names ninja you selling my kids underwear look I don't want you to stream anywhere near my kids honey they have a whole website of these guys look at this twitch.tv the streamers no streamers within five feet of this playground oh god they stream with kids all day move into a new place all your neighbors know you're a streamer yeah I just might let you guys know I'm registered streamer I am on the streamer list and it's all good yeah yeah we've never yeah we've got it we've got it we've got it stay away from our kid okay the whole website of these guys now they're selling my children underwear now my son sick now you know my son he comes home the other day okay and he's wearing underwear from one of these streamers I'm like how did you get this he said he sold it to me on stream sold it okay it and ears would kick the whole thing off okay all right I'm downstairs you know I'm just just you know working on the floors and we had a little spill from last Christmas party so I'm working on the floors I hear my son upstairs he goes there's two guys on me I say now hold on hold on there's only one boy in that room there only there are not two men in that room with my son so I storm up there and I I kicked that door open I'm like who who are these guys the moment I opened the door suddenly my son is saying he's thirsting me he's thirsting after my son and it in go ahead so III I get on the microphone and I'm like who who are what are your names get off my son the sickest part of it all I look at my son screen he's a girl I don't know why he would choose to be a girl wait that's the sickest part but this whole streaming thing is just I don't know man it's doing something to the kids and then on top of it all on top of everything yeah my son right there it starts flossing and I'm not talking the good kind with the teeth Oh shaking his hips the head is not that it like Shakira uh-uh oh God no son of mine I don't know what I do no son of mine I don't know I do yeah I go straight to my Bible the Internet is a sick demented place yeah go to my Bible and pray to God to forgive me for the ass-whooping I'm about to give my son yeah that snaps if Mason Ramsay flossing at that party there was tension in that boy's back arthritis or something it doesn't it didn't look good doing that floss dude he was like look like it was hurting he was biting his upper lip like he's like no my bro my favorite my favorite [ __ ] joke for man on Twitter now is like doing a four night dance somewhere and getting this [ __ ] picturing myself [ __ ] flossing in the TSA body scanner and having a [ __ ] something I come up with a wand and just beating the [ __ ] out of me like it's like a security breach or some [ __ ] you know ninja trying to get that group of people flossing oh my god Joe was a mess didn't even watch it Oh mess watch it it gets weirder every year man [ __ ] New Kids on the Block performed for like 30 minutes why are they always performing they always do that [ __ ] that shows how are they started doing their thing songs are 20 years old these dances and songs are 20 years old you guys are like 50 dude so this is kind of related okay so this is we getting a double whammy right here so another request we got from a lot of people actually was to bring back the news segments what news segment oh yeah welcome back welcome back to the news with dick dastardly and Jim Jim moles yeah so I read this story and I was blessed enough laughing this has everything to do with kids on the block which makes this Kids on the Block performance even more miserable New Year's New Year's Eve in Times Square sounds like a urine-soaked hell so two million people apparently stand outside to watch the ball every year and there's a million two minutes some like that and there's oh my god this is classic this is classic someone goes it's a huge free concert if you get a good spot and you don't notice the cold and how long you're waiting what no like all the most noticeable yes ever yeah if you just like don't feel yeah then it's a huge free concert so I guess people there are no porta-potties so I guess people wear diapers to do this oh that's so sad or like they piss on the floor and it's just yeah oh poor poor people man yeah not poor people yeah like poor people that go there yeah just standing in the freezing [ __ ] cold with a with a diaper full of [ __ ] and piss with your mother with your razor diapers gamer gamer you're standing there and you're [ __ ] filled diaper and then you're your God emerges a ninja emerges and he goes I want you all to floss with me with me with me and you're just frozen because now the [ __ ] has solidified and you got a doo doo ice pack in between your cheeks and you want to floss but you can't because you're [ __ ] again that's what it is yeah and and ninja his clam chowder that you ate like it for you the fog was starting to exactly clean house yeah and so you're you're dying as ninja your God is flossing yeah and you want to so badly be doing it but you know if you do shits gonna escape the diaper exactly and fall on your leg I think that's why I know I'm flossed when he hit it up there yeah that was the saddest part about that whole things that no one did it back yeah yeah I was like damn yeah that's even lamer yeah I mean they're they're in there and pee and poo and they can't they're like just looking at him like we want to floss we want to we couldn't dance the new kids on the block [ __ ] because cuz a literal [ __ ] oh man imagine just imagine waiting all day in the freezing cold with a [ __ ] diaper on to watch new kids on the block and ninja yeah sounds like the perfect New Year's Eve sounds awesome sounds really gamer it sounds super gamer yeah you know because that's some G [ __ ] people thought we make gangster [ __ ] now iam a gamer gamer [ __ ] yeah yeah to the fullest yeah gamer [ __ ] yeah that your do your New Year's Eve looked intense little kids beating the [ __ ] out of each other how much money were they racing for a pro hundred bucks 100 bucks hundred cold hard bones that's all it takes to get kids to claw each other's eyes yeah man they were like they were like trampling each other all got like pushed down and like run over Christian Christmas replies and goes you know were they giving away free bucks so I'm like I'm the on the on the mountain where I was at they did like a dash for cash and I was like this stupid little obstacle course they set up and they did a kid one and then right after they did an adult one oh that one must have been so it's like 40 year olds doing the exact same [ __ ] oh my god damn we just don't change yeah we're just children forever it's a hundred bucks like you're like killing other children's dads to get them to get a hundred bucks hey dude I get that $50 off that TV on Black Friday yeah exactly oh so funny man oh that's great yeah it was weird how was your New Year's that's cool low-key Palm Springs what'd you do man low-key what's an Indian casino that was awesome I was playing blackjack right up until the countdown that's dope then Elena and I were standing it like a video roulette machine with our friends and uh we counted down from there and then I had a extremely the best Long Island iced tea I've ever had delivered to me Wow sipped it then just went home and watched watched some movies and passed out caught a nice little bus got a nice little buzz coach was great yeah it's exactly mind except I wasn't in a kissing or drinking Long Island iced teas yeah the well no it's chill at three drinks if you can believe it Wow three three whole drinks for you yeah thanks dude yeah I'd three two three what drinks yeah and I was like and I was like I stopped and I was like this is weird yeah man I did it all did it all got drunk won some money did you win are you I'm Year's kiss no dude you kissed I kissed that's [ __ ] dad some G [ __ ] Asia dude Liddy yeah that's so wet he did no that's hyper [ __ ] dude I'm hyper as [ __ ] right now dude New Year's Eve was sick I got so hyper dude it was crazy I popped a four hour energy in the morning that's danger and then when those four hours were up I popped another one no road that [ __ ] up for four hours and then popped another one stop dude that's 12 hours energy bruh hyper for 12 hours that's crazy it is crazy man dude okay a little too hyper yeah yeah really you od'd yeah Dan yeah I got a H didn't really over over hype yeah what happened I don't know man I had a monster I was like I go to the ER the energy room yeah dude yeah I got put on time out it's [ __ ] up that's [ __ ] so I was like what happened yes are like I had a monster right yeah turn you know I'm turnt up dude playing video games being random just being crazy like what kind of stuff were you saying oh dude you know I would just sit in there and be like pasta lasagna no way yes [ __ ] random being so random how did you even think of that I mean it must be the hyper yeah it was just so hyper just so crazy random things it just came to my head this is so wild so then like I just like like after like you know at some point I just think I'm like Tony Hawk I just feel like being Tony Hawk right because you know being random oh yeah so like I'm like grinding off a couch and then I say [ __ ] it I'm gonna do another one so drink another monster and what yeah that's so wacky yeah get so hyper I got a pee and I just pee all over myself in the diaper yeah and my diaper damn that's weird in wild and wacky yeah so then like after I pee I started coming I don't feel too good anymore cuz now like I'm not so hype and the hyper is like my pee it's like gone mm-hmm yeah so then so then I like I try to like re up but then I just start getting so random so wacky it's just like too much that's what happened that's the price you got to pay you know yeah you know for every react for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction yeah you know you get hyper you got like that down you got to get down afterwards you know yeah you definitely come down yeah yeah so then what was chill do you know we had we had a sleepover so you know nice got the two am giggles yeah it was always so random yeah so it was so random dude my mom had to keep coming in and like telling us to be quiet and I'm like shut up dude we're fine we're not laughing or doing anything like it's in your head dude that's a wild and wacky man so wild and wacky that's great I've been clean for a week I was still buzzing off of the UFC event from like two weeks ago okay that was first of man Amanda Nunez everyone's talked about her like to death I'm sure but holy [ __ ] that girl what happened she beat up so she beat the [ __ ] out of Ronda Rousey mmm-hmm like decisively okay you know and she took her career apart and then so she was supposed to fight cyborg who which is a robot crazy-ass name right that's awesome yeah she beat all the girls so that she had to fight a robot so cyborg has been like long regarded is like one of the best if not the best female MMA fighter and she trucks anyone she fights like she walks the room and so everyone was like okay Amanda Nunez is the best cyborg is the best this is the fight to make and they're supposed to fight but then Nunez got sick and then Dana I was saying like I she's not real champion this and that and she was the underdog plus 220 everyone thought that means like you're gonna [ __ ] get your ass beat okay I mean it's a kiss pre standard but it's pretty wide gap hmm you know so you bet 100 bucks you to 1 to 20 on her okay so she gets in there dog and it only took like 10 to 12 punches and she knocks cyborgs lights out really yeah you know the face you make when you're talking to someone and then you forget if you left the stove on that's the face cyborg made like right before going down she was like she's like in the fights like okay [ __ ] slip slip did I lock the house and then just boom boom boom boom and then she's done gone yeah and amanda has this crate like her arms are super long but she has this crazy like like she comes over the top and she like hooks her arm it looks like a [ __ ] like a scythe and she just [ __ ] bang just hooks it into your face and she clocked her with one of those I was like ah first round it's at first round she knocked her out first round yeah that's crazy the same thing with Ronda Rousey wow yeah so she's a beast she's like she's the best fighter of all time oh I mean there's it's gonna be a thing a minute before there's any woman who can compete with that girl that's dope yeah she she's gonna have to actually start fighting robots no I think she will because there's nothing left I don't think anyone could be a challenge for her whooping that ass the Floyd Mayweather one was so funny that even like hear about it and then I saw like a random Twitter moment about her or some [ __ ] yeah it was like um so the dry I talked about that a little bit like a few episodes ago I was based like rising or risen I forget how to pronounce it it's like a Japanese League / promotion I didn't you say the fight wasn't actually gonna happen so it was like it was like this weird thing where basically it looked like they were trying to do something they've done before we're like Japanese league we'll get a boxer to come over and then they like get the rules weird and then last minute they're like oh this is a public event and it's basically like they're trying to like hoodwink them into like getting their ass whooped by kickboxer in front of like a bunch of people okay basically - you know so they're trying to do a similar thing where they're they're trying to get Mayweather knocked out in their promotion or like hurt to like show one that Mayweather isn't the best of all time and - it's like on their you know on their mat and they'd love nothing more than Mayweather to go down with like their [ __ ] fight promo behind him so and - and Mayweather knew this he figured it out so he said no this is either gonna be a exhibition match or there's no the you know there's no fight and it's gonna be a boxing match he's not gonna get to kick me there are no elbows there's none of that [ __ ] it's boxing and then they say okay so they you know they he gets the rules where he wants it to be which he should and so it was a live streamed event and it wasn't like an official fight so went on either of their records there's only three rounds and I didn't even get there cuz that kid got his ass handed to him oh my god I was embarrassing did you watch the replay yeah I did I was like those punches that Mayweather hit him with his [ __ ] head shot out like a cannon yeah it's just what he was doing that face yeah doing that [ __ ] just talking to his wife in the crowd yeah we dropped the dog off at the Walker right hey guys as whoop that was cool anyways like he's like crying at the end I felt bad laughing man but it's like yeah yeah are you gonna take that fight yeah it's like when when Daniel Cormier lost to John Jones and he made like the cry face like he was mean forever because he had like the like the five-year-old like face so that was the biggest drama though of the UFC was they [ __ ] dude they basically did a they did like a collusion thing and they got John Jones back like fighting he [ __ ] he was suspended for pissing hot he tested for roids uh he and do you know history of John Jones and bro he oh my god he like pissed hot for steroids acted like he wasn't his fault he had like all these things I had tainted like dick pills and stuff like that and then he just proceeded to do various shitty things he got into a hit-and-run with a pregnant lady fled the scene came back because there was weed in his glove box and he was already in [ __ ] for like the roids and doing coke and all that so he ran back just to get the weed and then he left and like he's just done like very like shitty things and he would always kind of put on that he you know was this like a kind of religious guy and and live by a moral code and all that but you just you know you're like hey you're a cheater and you're a piece of [ __ ] and the sad thing is he doesn't need to cheat he's got like the longest reach in MMA he's 84 inches dude it's like fighting a [ __ ] I don't I don't even know what you would describe that as goddamn octopus anyway so he gets suspended and then he pisses hot again but he test positive for steroids right before the promotion was announced for him to fight a couple weeks ago ok so it's like the UFC knew it and then around that time people were asking about like testing like first steroids and stuff and they go oh we're not gonna release any more information about fighters until the investigation is fully complete so I was like he pissed hot meaning he was using again and then they tried to minimize like the amount like I was like 1 picogram and all this like some microbiologists like came forward and he was like no like if you like if you're doing like a relative measurement the amount of of like turn a ball wherever was there's a system if you took it out like if you measured it it would extend about like something like 90 meters or something like it was that much like in his piss like if you like measure it like in terms of like DNA length he's like the average DNA is like 2 meters or something like that so he's basically saying like just yet he had enough in there that it's not just like an accident and then people started getting clips of like this guy who works for these called the Golden Snitch or whatever saying last year oh well you know turn a ball it doesn't last in your system and then fast forward this year like right as these results comes like well you know it's it's probably results from latin like trace amounts from last year it's just kind of like in his system like complete [ __ ] the fight was supposed to be in Vegas they moved it to LA because they said this whole thing about how they couldn't get the licensing and this and that so like get John approved because because he pissed hot you would have had to go through another like investigation and like a hearing and all that and they just wanted the fight to happen if one of the fight to have him so they just moved the entire card to LA just like last minute and people were like people like what the [ __ ] like people have been waiting for that fight they booked tickets to go to Vegas and Dana White's response to that was like well you're in Vegas it's not a Platt bad place to be and you can literally watch it anywhere on Vegas so it doesn't sound like a bad deal just like the most not kind of savage you know yeah kind of dope no but it was like it was basically like they covered up for John Jones to you know like yeah yeah he tested positive so everyone knows sounds like pretty much yeah like everyone's fine with it isn't it like dangerous for the other guy no dude Marty kaan sued the UFC and he's I think he won or he's like in the process of winning because they let Brock Lesnar fight him knowing that Brock Lesnar was like juice to the [ __ ] up like yeah fully on steroids like [ __ ] I could have died and yeah everyone's like well you know it's trace amounts it's whatever it's not a big deal and John John's one oh he did yeah but like dude like by a lot or they knock him out he didn't he uh yeah yeah yeah he he like got him on the ground and got some ground and pound an end of the fight the thing that shitty though is John Jones is not only physically superior he has insane fight IQ so it makes you wonder why the [ __ ] does he Roy it cuz he doesn't have to it was like a shitty like bad guys win like story damn and you're looking at him and like his post-fight interview dog that is the most like he said there's like first i wanna i want to thank god all this and then at the end of it he goes well i heard there's a guy who calls himself champ champ he's referring to daniel cormier huh was a champion in two divisions he looks at cameron he goes if you're the real champ dude you got to fight me daddy's home like the complete tone switch i might do you can't sit there and be like oh i love jesus and all that not that like fighters need to be held to some standard cuz I don't think fighters need to be like upstanding citizens ok if like the cup shooters they got not me not cheated as a Sarah Lee but if like you know outside of the ring like they're stealing [ __ ] or like you know maybe they're getting arrested for dumb [ __ ] yeah I think that's ok yeah that's a narrative a little bit I do yeah yeah yeah I don't think fighters all every fighter is like in there like acting like a politician like all you know a great fight that I won't see anything I wanna see you guy win and be like yeah he [ __ ] sucks and I just proved it suck my dick yeah I hunted percent agree what the wrestling [ __ ] 100% agree but yeah bro it was it was it was such a goddamn attune like you read stories like that about like you know like I don't know CEOs and stuff they have so much money they don't care they [ __ ] people over like to see like a league and like a bunch of people like get behind this dude it's like for what for what money I mean yeah they just don't have champions anymore yeah all they're champions keep getting bodied really yeah Conner's done yeah there's no way Connor comes back I mean he'll come back but do that division it's gonna be way too hard really yeah for him yeah yeah could be exposed him you know he's just he's just a dude with a good left hand but a lot of money yeah that's about a nice suits yeah that guy a lot of suits a lot of suits you know these [ __ ] do nothing yeah he uh boy I know I sorry for the MMA hour yeah I find this interesting honestly I like to I'm not fighting him none I know nothing about it broke illusion that's crazy it is pretty crazy yeah I mean I the the guy who fought him can definitely sue Gustafsson Yeah right yeah he's not going to he's not going to know even though he lost yeah I think I mean he's kind of like you know people described as a glorified gatekeeper mm-hmm you know he's just like the fight to make you know it's like oh you got a fight you know Alex to like prove you're good but he's the only dude who had a shot at beating Jon Jones because he was the only dude like close to his size it kind of the same reach but not enough John Jones is like this famous moment where he's like he's got lyoto machida like pinned up against a fence he's got his arm wrapped around his neck and he starts pushing on his own wrist as if to like he has his arm is so long that he has leveraged to like just choke him out with one hand just crazy yeah anyway I'll shut the hell up about fighting but it was it was a while to just see that that's wild and wacky super random loss that's pretty random yeah so we talked about the [ __ ] vape video being taken down oh yeah crazy yeah speaking of scandals yes seriously this is even crazier collusion easier collusion talk about collusion the communities against us they finally turned on now we can get NPR with it yeah you know everyone we don't want to freak you out we don't want you to be scared but this is something you should know the youtubes the monster that is lying in wake that all of our favorite creators gets nailed by it's finally discovered us that's what the metaphor and bird box was yeah it's the YouTube algorithm yes as long as you don't look at it can't consume you that's the old man we got [ __ ] nailed by that [ __ ] tell everyone about that email I mean like I've been getting hit with a bunch of copyright claims just like every other youtuber gonna [ __ ] a year in terms of like using [ __ ] five seconds of a song and getting your [ __ ] handed to you for just getting [ __ ] in the face yeah so whatever and so I've been like probably one one one email a week I'll get that says like some old video got to monetize for a copyright [ __ ] or it's never really that big of a deal cuz like the videos don't make that much money so it's like whatever it's more yeah it's not worth the time to be like yeah freak out about it and whatever well I mean this is one of the biggest videos on my channel mm-hmm huge mhm if you love that [ __ ] video I love that video I think it's unreal it's it's one of our best for sure just so many [ __ ] memes came from that [ __ ] yeah 100 Nick whatever so I got this email it says your videos been taken down and you have a strike on your channel which is like the first time I've ever been like kind of like could worried cuz I'm like to him like if I got another one I can't post for 3 months that's like my livelihood for 3 months yeah gone yeah damn it's like why you don't have all your [ __ ] eggs in one basket I guess when it comes to [ __ ] which we don't so luckily that's good but yeah the same time it's like [ __ ] [ __ ] and so they thought Maddie was a minor turns out he's not he's not a minor yeah he sent ID he's had proof of ID back to YouTube to get his own channel up yeah people report his videos and ours as well and YouTube just assumes the reports are true and like their their words is they now I got to give YouTube credit like they did reach it like the [ __ ] team YouTube DM to me we had like a DM conversation yeah they're like hey we're so sorry about this we re reviewed the video and realize that it's fine but it's age restricted now for some reason so you can't just like watch a do you have to have an account and stuff would yeah if he's not a miner and he's vaping what why is it age-restricted why that when people were tweeting at me like oh it's cuz he's a miner I'm like I'm almost certain he's not yeah he's not I knew he wasn't yeah yeah not none of his friends were so anyway it's like wallet while it was down so like it was down for like two three days while it was down it got real plotted like four times yeah and they all have like 50,000 views or something yeah I just whatever at least people are still watching it but it's like it's like the system doesn't work no like you know I just [ __ ] old ass opinion to be a YouTube sucks you dude sucks but like that system just is so broken like ya can just take down a video and then like for other copies show up and those are fine yep yep well and dude and it's just it's that said [ __ ] that they they they see what they want to see and they got no problem with Jake Paul and Logan shilling out for kids and having 9 year olds watch their [ __ ] and spend $200 on maverick March there's no issue there we're a mystery box yeah or a mystery box that [ __ ] did you ever hit up by that company a 50k they offered me to do they offered me a ridiculous amount of money too and I took one look at that website I'm like I cannot promote this fake ass same scam II a [ __ ] I was like I mean I looked at that amount of money I was like she's just correct it out yeah my brain I'm like can you make this work and I'm looking at the website like this is just this is so sketchy yeah straight up yeah and I told I saw I told fullscreen I'm like yo like maybe you should be more careful bringing these deals to people and they go we had lawyers look at this like four times it's not technically gambling it's just a litte morally questionable if there's nothing illegal about it's gray yeah nothing illegal about it so it's like weird III I just firmly like wrote back and I same thing I said I was like now yeah not sketchy I said this is super suspect and I I have I could not promote this in my right mind yeah yeah same I did the exact same thing but I mean like I'm glad I did that man yeah I can yeah it's crazy that [ __ ] a the money that these companies have dude that they the money they offered me to was wild because my channel is not that much like had not didn't have the traction that has now and I thought oh yeah what they see me - that's cringe what the [ __ ] is keemstar tweeted that they offered him a hundred k oh my god word Lord hundred grand they must be make they must see caking yeah because they're a [ __ ] lottery company dude dude I mean oh I guess this is you know he says before but I don't want to keep repeating [ __ ] but it just looked to your point about not putting all your eggs in one basket it it's a scary thing that the the platform that got us to here is now the one that's like kind of like taking a chip out of you you know what I mean like all my streaming vids those get D monetized instantly so they're suppressed always oh why whatever is it I don't know like you know see on your gaming channel um each other and then love Island [ __ ] I have to be so like [ __ ] careful like you even using the words like not love but like making a move that got me do you monetized and I when I got when I asked for the review they're like no it's it's no good yeah and maybe just ends up that no one like maybe people like us we just end up having to resort to brand deals because the system doesn't cater to us yeah fast forward a month all of our videos every single one is a mystery box but yeah all we make we have a mystery box channel we just do mystery box videos oh like long-term partnership this this dude that's you know I read tweets every now and then like what comedians and people I respect and and they always kind of [ __ ] on youtubers or and I think their concept of a youtuber is like a young kid who's like hey what's up guys liked it I like I'm always curious like what what did they think when they I don't know see like guys like us they're like try to write or like you know try to be funny like in an improv context and that sort of thing but you know I one of my comedy friends is what I'm coming - he told me he goes man like like don't you just giving me kind of a you don't dodge yourself man like like you're funny because I was having one of those once from like you know stage I feel like he's to say like more like edgy [ __ ] or whatever and he's like nah dude like you but then he goes you're good bro you're funny remember that but you know definitely the stuff you're making right now is is it's safe but that's okay but and at first I felt bad like getting being told like oh you're making safe [ __ ] then I think about it it's hard for us to take risk at least on YouTube I feel like you know like they they'll review a video and go oh you're talking about yeah like like you know do you monetize or whatever and we don't want people to see this I don't know am I making sense yeah it's crazy that people like [ __ ] filthy Frankenstein were able to make money in the past yeah imagine him doing those videos now if I'm like getting pissed on äj-- yeah and EDD cube uke yeah you can I watched a wild I watched the video of wacky random I wanna feel like such a piece of [ __ ] forgetting dude's name but I watched a podcast with Maximo phone as one of his homies is like bigger dude long hair he would be in Frank's videos and and so he has a podcast now and and he was catching up with Max and he was talking about like cuz everyone's always asked him do you still talk to high dubs you still talked to a filthy Frankish [ __ ] and like yeah you know I obviously like we're we're grown up but and like we're doing different things so we can't hang out as much but they were all talking about like it sucks like they can't you know they wanna they wanted to kind of keep making that stuff but they can't you know and they they said there's no way guys like us could come up on YouTube now there's just zero chance which is kind of it's it's shitty like there's there's no room to be crazy on YouTube really you could you just would make no money you make no it's not sustainable I guess is what I'm trying to say so yeah there's no incentive no whatever oh [ __ ] sorry dude my Apple watches yeah this will sorry man let's turn on extra louder guys just so I could say don't play card flex dude look at these yeah aleena leave rocking the [ __ ] Gucci sauce has literally last episode so we're not gonna get Gucci slides tap out early I was waiting for this to come up this come up you're wearing Gucci slides so in a [ __ ] silk this is just to see man this is more like Gucci Gucci is Stu Qi yeah yeah Gucci with it is it's sick though thanks looks like you're wearing a towel I know it's like a bathrobe it's pretty dope but not but you know inverted yeah like when I first opened opened it I was like is this is this reverse it's correct aleena as I've anytime we've gone to like Nordstrom or you know whatever I've always like looks look at these slides and said man one day I'd love to have those like they're so stupid to own they're the most like non justifiable thing to buy they're just ridiculous I've said that for like at least a year you're a year and a half and you know I always tell aleena like don't give me a lot of [ __ ] and she always winds up getting me too [ __ ] much last year she got me [ __ ] $3,000 laptop fresh off a layoff I want you you know I want you to be productive no to ended up saving me this year so then I'm like all right I don't need a laptop don't get anything crazy like if I give me a pair of socks cool but I just want to give you a gift whatever open I see this box and I'm like that better not be them and I open it sure enough I'm like oh my [ __ ] god yeah then this hoodie it's dope I mean it's dope so like it [ __ ] - get that [ __ ] as a gift yeah cousin you're like don't really feel guilty sort of feel guilty yeah they spent the money yeah yeah why is designer [ __ ] so good at doing that you walk in a store and you're like dad these are so absurd I want is this absurd amount of money it's so stupid it's so stupid but I want them so bad I think that's what it is they're so ridiculous I see the most reduced Gucci shoes so dumb so dumb look I want these so dumb looking like [ __ ] high stout Healy's and they're like yeah yeah yeah I want oh wait I mean as good as Balenciaga or Gucci or anyone done that yet healy cuz didn't got David yeah they definitely showed yeah everyone's gonna be pissed crocks they did right yeah once he crossed over yeah Cox Cox yeah yeah that's a flex right there this is also kind of a flex yeah well Brett this to me is like now I don't have to tie my shoes ever that's true actually these are actually laced thing is the product the lace issue is gone this is actually probably all I'm gonna I'm gonna get my value out of these things probably not wearing shoes for a long time it's just gonna only slides even on tour like imma be on stage just with these now we talked about what we're gonna wear on tour we talked about a lot of different things that we're gonna wear on to her work pump man we're having some fun with this yeah be a lot of fun I'm so excited I'm pumped yeah I'm really pumped you can even write in some good [ __ ] and I [ __ ] man I like I want everyone to have a good time and I would love to do this every year man I don't know oh yeah we definitely should yeah we definitely should live comedy is where it's at I felt like such a dad today I'm like I'm a pack to sandwich yeah I saw that I was gonna say anything this will brought a sandwich in a ziplock bag I'm checking my watch I'm like like going through [ __ ] notifications like packing my sandwich I'm like damn it's all over man it's over I'm already a dad I don't even have kids I'm already a dad I went the other way I got Gucci slides I got joggers on yeah I got this do see [ __ ] you got borderline came in here like I was good yeah I just got done [ __ ] killing some [ __ ] dude what's up good podcast you're lighting a blunt hell yeah dude you're always speaking of tube drama we got this call oh [ __ ] I'm 30 damn I won't be five minutes late I can't keep going if you saw my little video about home automation eggs they tried they tried to clap back so bad so bad I'll give it to them they had a couple zingers in there but goddamnit that [ __ ] was bitter yeah so funny you know I just chalk it up to like I doubt they're trying to do they're trying to capitalize but like if you're listening cuz it's two guys that run it okay it's not those girls okay they're just like paid to come out to my guys running that [ __ ] first of all you got to be faster y'all came out with that like a month later people forget I exist even you know Sam like I haven't we've been doing crunch channels on returns videos on your channel for forever we probably gross 1015 million views people still don't think I've a YouTube channel I still get comments like I had no idea you had a YouTube channel my [ __ ] description so I'm like oh my bro first off faster you took way too long that's one - that [ __ ] was bitter as hell yeah oh my god dude yeah that the cuz I don't even clown them that bad I'm just clowning they're [ __ ] their subscribers it's like dude what it's I mean I would say check it out I don't think I don't even think you need it no need to check it out like you can just take our word for that it's just pretty brutal yeah Oh awkward I boarded I wanted to come in and say yeah make sure to let me edit this miles miles great great diss me up next yeah [ __ ] let me meet let me dis let me produce it bro let me help you this is some garbage I'm gonna diss me way better than you ever could yeah dude that's my favorite [ __ ] when what people start roasting me on stream I'll be like man you're trash I start roasting myself better than them it's like this weird meta I am trash yeah like wait what I'm your mom uh-huh wait what I'm your mom I'm your mom I'm your mama huh yeah dude guess what my name is Jennifer oh yeah you know what dude I am trying so what yeah that's that's like a that's like if you get beat up by a bully and you say harder yeah [ __ ] you up a little boy ah oh [ __ ] you're gonna ask what by a bullying you say don't stop yeah that's so weird I'll suck your dick huh what I'll suck the [ __ ] out of your dick bully cause the Beecher has you started unbuckling your belt you know what ma'am give it to me I've been waiting all day for you I like it rough what oh come on I'm not gonna beat you up now let's [ __ ] go dude it's [ __ ] time oh yeah you want some yes Daddy nope wait that's someone's joke is it I think that's djibouti djibouti a stand up oh yeah yeah he was talking about a an MMA class yeah and he was saying like you got to improvise if we're getting choked out yeah he's like he's like harder daddy or something like that we're butchering it but go search the pony set-cookie waves so I got funny funny man that's our fellow short king exactly killing it anyways peace y'all so we will be doing episodes on tour I think some of you think that we're not Moby we're gonna be doing episodes on the bus all things could be recording them on my Apple watch yep timed on his Apple was act Lee mmm ah merch TMZ pod calm you all merch yep patreon.com for bonus EPS we're gonna hit two of them this month because we're gonna be locked in a cell together with wheels see you guys appreciate you

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 234,103

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Id: Xdy1lkMMI5E

Length: 68min 26sec (4106 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 11 2019