Episode 51 - #JustHusbandThings

what's up guys welcome to TMZ podcasts this is actually last week's episode if you want today's episode that'll be on our patreon right now you can get it a week early if you contribute its patron calm tiny meet gang so thanks if you do that and if not enjoyed this one who's like I'm a little ready and ask it go okay you know what I was thinking about yesterday yeah always I was sitting down and ollie like I'm just randomly gets excited wants to start tongue [ __ ] me okay you know just like trying to give me the dog kiss naturally naturally and I I was thinking about like an inverse fleshlight for people who want to kiss their dog that's like a little thing you put your mouth inside of them there's a little dog tongue that it's like to me like it covering your whole mouth it's just your eyes like something inside they don't know what it is just laughing your lips and it's like salty and it's like one of those think geek gifts weird like it looks like a coffee mug and it's like tongue kiss your dog at work good boy good boy yeah who's a good boy who's a good boy but it's not sexual at all no it's not sexual it's just someone who really really loves their dosing their dog yeah who just loves the feeling of it it's like a stress ball there's like someone like she's a good designer freelancer working at home huh not sure what colors I should add here let me just that's a good boy that's a good boy and Sian yeah that's what I'm thinking take a quick break here I think I need to turn up the gain on my channel why you sound fine to me yeah all right whatever I'll do it do it in post [ __ ] it do it in post [ __ ] it I just want to say happy national taco day to everyone isn't there is it today I don't know I looked on Twitter and it said it was happy it said hey it was happy national talk about taco day mmm it said it was national taco day today hmm well I think it was yesterday of the day before was a national boyfriend day yeah everyone kept tagging us and those two guys vaping and making out and just like Maddie why did you drop our collab before telling us dude like I prematurely released our collab dude yeah that's [ __ ] that video that video was absurd you just don't think it's gonna happen you know twitter twitter you just see the just the raunchiest [ __ ] this it's it's got all like the this [ __ ] that it's like Twitter's the place Twitter's like the new like lively you know no that was a video that should've been on liveleak but it's like you never expect on any mainstream social media channel oh yeah to scroll down and for it to like escalate to that yeah yeah you know saying yeah two guys macking after a vape Oh blown a phat cloud yeah it was like one dude shotgunning a vape cloud out of another another dudes mouth but then they just start making like like aggressive - like they get in it any other like any other channel of just beat the shotgunning part yeah you know I mean but Twitter is the place where it escalates - you know no this we're blowing each other off now you're like Twitter whip this is twitter twitter would be like he moves forward to make out with him and as like behind him goes like a doorway and as he clears that doorway there's just like a naked ass like pumping another dude that's Twitter yeah it's just like a distraction then they move apart let's [ __ ] back there for the background just two people beating the [ __ ] out of their asthma like that [ __ ] good video that guy at Taco Bell just filming those two girls fight yeah you're saying I should no I don't think so dude it's art man it's like it's like a perfect rule of thirds frame it's like on the right on the right line it's just the Taco Bell like box in on the left line is these two girls arguing I think he does like a Ken Burns like zoom out yeah it's just like these two is framed like Kubrick shot this [ __ ] and the two girls started arguing and he just started beating the [ __ ] out of each other and then on the top but the [ __ ] box lays like hi welcome to Taco Bell oh the he just starts ordering while they're fighting this [ __ ] out of each other just yeah yeah I'll get a Crunchwrap supreme number three hot sauce that's hilarious yeah and then like some random firefighter comes and breaks it up it's that's a short film right there dude [ __ ] drilled that Instagram account oh yeah I like am I regret following that a little bit it's crazy dude those meme channels like don't so these private meme channels if anyone follows a private me Janet get away with posting like hardcore pretty hardcore [ __ ] on Instagram it gets like fight videos and stuff so that like would probably get reported if it was public yeah and their account would get taken down or whatever but like for some reason they post like 30 times a day yeah every time I go on my feed there's a new drilled video yeah how does like who like those are multiple people running as the counters at one dude just just constantly like he's got like a hard drive full of fight videos and he's uploading them it's probably obsessed with they're all like so low res that they're like scream recorded eight times so funny look at this what's so funny did you see the one of the like they do dancing and he just [ __ ] like armbars at child no no what with ice on our bar okay guys I'm gonna narrate the fight here all right we got a whole lot my god dude oh my god no I swear I'm too low I swear oh yeah yeah so even cancer like I mean they're just like lively crypts yeah but why do they post so much I'm gonna trying to get you to like dude it's crazy it's probably just one of those it's like the it's like a TweetDeck kids that's why you know they all have like tons of accounts that's all they're doing yeah that's all they're doing and they're like called about and they sell them yeah yo dude you want drilled yeah yes 500 bucks Wow 500 bones yeah you think I just got 500 bones lying around it yeah it's one of the things like a [ __ ] stupid angle on a mean page because it's super funny to like create an account it's like it's like you make this like fake I don't know like this VIP [ __ ] but in a way you're just acknowledging like yeah I want to see like violence you know I'm saying hey what do you mean I don't know like I feel I feel like there's a degree of shame you could attach to that like it's similar to a skew it something oh so you follow drilled hmm well I feel you need to explain it a little bit yeah yeah for sure like why do you follow drill then my friend told me that it was like funny like mean page whatever but it you know it's like that's how people are gonna start getting in trouble yeah that's gonna be controversy for a youtubers yeah cody KO noel miller outed as avid followers of drilled yeah have to like put out apologies yeah no we don't enjoy watching fat man do backflips on breaking their collarbones like hold on - every time I see one of those videos I'm like that dude was not okay yeah that's a [ __ ] wheelchair for sure but it cuts every time right after it happens so you're never like that's so good you just get the injury and I nothing else feel bad feels like oh just watch after I watch one of those I'm like oh man you nut so hard yeah cuz I [ __ ] coming so hard people in pain just that's like Jeff B's oh [ __ ] cranking off the keys oh [ __ ] right there it's like it's like us and every like CEO watching trill yeah oh yeah yeah poor [ __ ] right here Elzy comes in the office babe what do you order that Taco Bell yeah you've won your foundation yeah yeah it man work that's it's the thing that's crazy to me about Twitter is how like it delivers that content to you we've talked about this before like old internet used to have to go like seek that [ __ ] out yeah it like you till you know you had to like go to Rotten calm hmm I feel like it was like you knew was in your personality yeah like I enjoy gore yeah you know I mean yeah Twitter you you have like such a pass oh yes people post it you can just like oh I accidentally saw a dick going in another dick like that's some [ __ ] I should have never seen explain that explain it I don't know if I can it's this chick and the thumbnail is like it's like the end of a dildo and what you can't even tell that's what it is I mean I could cuz it like she's got thick did you got yeah yeah it's like she's got the top half of the end also in her mouth yeah the bay just looks like it's like this weird plastic thing in her mouth and her mouths open super wide yeah well the shape of her mouth and how there was only one colour yeah like just signal to me there's a dildo you know it's kind of like if you were to be eating your own kneecap or your fist that's what her face looks like she's got this thing that she's shoving in there and then you see you play it and she starts pulling out the dildo and it's just like it it's legitimately like 18 to 24 inches long 24 do that [ __ ] was 2 feet look old 2 feet you know like neo in the matrix when he's pulling that tube out of his [ __ ] throat that's what it looked like but she's like in person yeah on the video is like oh yeah like watching the video aren't they isn't isn't like the Shep I sent us the one with uh it was actually her okay okay yeah and so she finishes like some English girl she's like I feel fine just a soft with [ __ ] eyes of Jill it's just like look like just crying for three hours yeah you feel fine now whether you're in the hospital with [ __ ] internal bleeding that's like organ damage straight up dude you can't nothing is meant to go [ __ ] three feet into your stomach it's like curling up in the bottom of her stomach the stomach acid like oh yeah she definitely like if if there was anything she was worried might be sitting around in her esophagus it's not there anymore yeah yeah only [ __ ] it just pulls it out like snaking a bathtub pulled out like corn and it's the worst like like weirdest feeling seeing that like it starts and you're like oh she's like deep throating uh oh yeah oh oh whoa oh god the other half comes out and in the word man she's got she's got the head half of the base of it also in her mouth yeah she could have did the balls too she could have did the balls too she does a David Blaine [ __ ] where she just spits it back out oh she just eats it [Laughter] America's Got Talent and my name is Caroline okay Caroline we're about you from from Manchester by moved to LA late last year okay what's your talent just pulls out a big like no no you know that big like that ropey gummy worm see now that giant gummy worm no they make giant gummy worm oh yeah yeah yeah it's like an end of a firehose yeah well I'm gonna swallow this whole thing yeah immediately sir no she doesn't even say it she just it just holds it up and she like do you like kisses the head like she's a big boy that's it a little bit enough you starts like warming it up you doing the pepper grinder she kisses it like licks it like she's about to give it a head [Music] right is cardi B's about it [ __ ] Mel B's about to hit the [ __ ] hex Oh Caroline and I'm just gonna [Laughter] [Laughter] Simon's like sorry just looks at her blankly [ __ ] dismantle the gold button just send the right to the final ten seconds like a winter one does they have a button that like auto advances you like to the end okay but it usually like give some big speech he just skips it just hits the [ __ ] but they sit there in silence for five seconds like just completely it it's like thank you dude just every round after that where it's like the fan voting yeah vote for your favorite Caroline ninety-nine percent one percent divided amongst everyone else like I get like whenever I see videos like that I just automatically get insecure yeah tattooed I'm just like glad Liam didn't turn out to be like that maybe she is and she just hasn't told me it yeah that's what it does just one day I go on Twitter it's just Alena in our bathroom I'm like wait that's the same thumbnail exact same thumb that hers is like four feet long it's like like a magician with handkerchiefs or whatever changes from a dildo to other things rabbit tied on to like a dildo chain goddamn I went out like anal beads you like that word just winking at the camera it and like making that huh oh my god [Laughter] deep throat streaming dude oh that's how you get that's how you get past the the can girl [ __ ] on twitch you're a magician yeah your throat I was gonna say laughs rise out of your [ __ ] well I mean that day yeah holy [ __ ] and for my next trick the bird the pigeon you know speaking of things having two seconds flat yeah if you execs finally again yeah nice yeah good [ __ ] dude yeah well I'd hear it yeah well Lina let me watch okay nice yeah yeah and I got to love that jack off in the corner yes which yeah in the corner yeah just make sure the camera doesn't move just a grown man Oh mom I got two kills you know someone made a video of us like they comped us into like a fortnight replay okay they're like making a video and like it's like in fortnight that the character like runs up and you hear our voices going ooh oh she breaks down a wall that's us on the couch going we love for tonight dark night what it's like the podcast so like looks perfect like on the couch that's great you should send me that yeah no I'll dig it up no if you guys haven't seen this video on Twitter of this guy who's clearly with some other people they're protesting my Porsche that [ __ ] was insane he has a protesting abortion and I don't like I don't know how you would look this up basically she was like in a purple hoodie you know looking like I don't know it's like a emo kid from my high school yeah he's like 32 yeah and then they're like this other woman was clearly conservative they're getting in an argument about abortion he like poses this scenario jurors like so if a girl gets raped she gets pregnant does she keep the baby and then he like he like holds up his hand motioning like thumbs up yeah or no and he's been like super like smug about it oh yeah extremely condescending he very much he's like set like like just oh yeah I'm hearing the woman out at all it's just like just another woman goes well it's a baby that of that and like she's explaining like her position yeah and he just [ __ ] he puts his foot back sticks out his tongue he's just like he's like oh just like a wit motion like it's like a like a like a like a wind-up yeah and then he just lasers her with a house kicks her in the [ __ ] head no he gives her a [ __ ] Donald Cerrone third round TKO to the [ __ ] head [ __ ] was hard yeah and he immediately here's what's going I meant to kick your phone like that makes it any better first of all second of all how fast that woman is or how fast she said call the cops yeah that's what killed me oh yeah it's like call the cops call the cops have a second within the [ __ ] point of contact yeah it's just so quick so goddamn funny call cops call cops little like felony assault right there that's the [ __ ] about Twitter I hate I hate with Twitter fuels politics because right now I just feel like people are just trying to get other people fired so much oh yeah like I wanna if I if I have a choice be - I'm een the head keg was pretty awesome yeah that one's okay okay with that one I'm okay with these people beating the [ __ ] out of each other kind of okay cuz that falls in Twitter fight video yeah it's not really political at that point it's a scrap okay now fights gay dudes kiss house that was that was political it was political but it was political in the sense where it was like I don't know it it's crazy Twitter like the Twitter is all about like just just like you said getting people fired or building people wrong that's all people like to do yeah just like it's just like both sides of any argument yeah like making the other one look like dumbasses yeah that's all they wanted that's what they are both doing that videos crazy I don't think either of them actually gave a [ __ ] about abortion or human rights or human life I mean or like I mean they choice pro-life and whatever they were both just trying to make the other one look like an idiot so that they could get retweets and tweets or whatever yeah and same with the guy who posted the video he was like do you see that uh well uh like he was I think a pro-life dude yeah and was like pro-choice like a pro-choice or assaults a pro light it's like it's not even really about that it's about how there's known it's like it has nothing really to do with his opinion on this issue is the fact that he round house kick this woman in the [ __ ] face yeah like why you gotta make it about the yeah yeah well crazy liberal like I don't know you know I mean I don't know I see why he would say that but it's also like it's just annoying because I'm when people do [ __ ] like that it automatically puts into question like this whole number like like I'm recording you I'm recording you like that whole like exactly it's like what you actually cared about the issues what's it yeah what wait or a counter throw that's so Castille yeah counter protest or [ __ ] I don't know rally up your local voters and and get some votes you know I'm saying yeah like like do some [ __ ] yeah that's not really morning you I'm recording you yeah that's not dying [ __ ] why cuz you make one you want to make them look like an idiot on Twitter no that's why no liberal problem and the same [ __ ] will be the other side will be it would be so [ __ ] stupid another video which is such a just beautiful exchange yeah between two idiots all the cops call the cops call the cops right now it's like dude is not hard to identify later yeah uh can't wait till we get smoked for even trying to comment on politics yeah I know don't [ __ ] I said like it's not about politics yeah no we're just calling it's just like you're basically questioning people who record things for Twitter yeah is it really please move yeah whatever who cares I I remember someone got really upset like in the fire one of our early episodes like I guess I subscribe to the horse-shoe theory which is that like people are I don't know I think both sides have like the same [ __ ] where they have people who are so like blindly driven no that comes down like this and then yeah close together yeah like they're they're almost mirror images of each other yeah they're like like I guess they they're calling me stupid for subscribing to that I'm like no that video right there to me is like a pretty good example that guy showed up on a corner ready to roundhouse kick someone in the [ __ ] head for saying that they believe in abortion and that lady was ready to just instigate something on camera so like when she got nailed with that kick she was like yes yeah oh yeah oh yeah I guess yeah you're done that's true yeah yes you're fired yeah why I'm gonna get you fired from your job where I mean at the end of the day never roundhouse kick someone yeah you ever do that it was wrong for doing that absolutely yeah keeping your phone [ __ ] what are you trying to do it doesn't make it better how like doesn't make it better yeah no like like like Talia the pros and cons of that working out and or you doing like doing that stupid little pretty move maybe at that point you should have been thinking okay what's the benefit of me doing this what's gonna happen we got to talk about on our podcast exactly and so he should have done was thinking about us yeah exactly yeah he's a coding a while are gonna love this yeah BAM that's actually what the other lady was thinking too what she's like oh do you know I'll need some content yeah you're on camera you're on camera yeah I'm record on you in record yeah it's always I'm recording you that was like the hot [ __ ] I'm like oh eight 2010 people recording cops uploading it now yeah yeah they missed out dude they were 10 years ahead yeah because right now the a drive on that would be insane yeah like for mid rolls yo yes yes dude yes yeah dude people love people get off on like their like their mind what nothing nothing good say some stupid [ __ ] that would people get off on their on their phones when they're watching deep throat yeah yeah yeah yeah very nice very nice very nice too I remember like nobody you know what I'm saying like it's kind of like people like love to film cops because it's like yeah something that like not everyone knows you can do you know I'm saying yeah and they're like it's like so people are like I know my rights I know my rights okay I know I can record you I know my rights people try to do that [ __ ] to cops because they're like I know more than like the sending the cops cuz it's like you you can't you you have no power over me like I get I know my rights no stuff and it's like well now like it's always some [ __ ] that's like reasonable yeah like for us in in like high school as always I think they were like in college it was like they can't come in ever having like a loud ass party and the neighbors are complaining in the cops show up it's like just everyone just quiet they can't come in you know but warrant they can't come in I know that as I watch NCIS you don't have a warrant they can't come in they don't we tell you turn it down like what yeah yeah meanwhile like they're just like can you guys just we don't want to come in we got no time for this [ __ ] you just turn down your [ __ ] music the neighbor has a baby just turn it down there's a man there's got to be like a twitch streamer somewhere who just goes around with like a broken taillight yeah don't hit that content yeah you didn't tell anyone the taillights broken yeah [ __ ] set up on his dashboard yeah and you just like instigate it yeah you know I pulled over you're on a live stream by the way princess thank you for the bits prison for the bids thousand bits I you should tell the cop to kiss your kiss my ass dude freedom of speech reven speech cop goes six his tongue out kicks her in the [ __ ] head I don't know and y'all speaking of politics he goes titty milk hidden real yeah I'm gonna sipping on some tea team oh yeah yeah it's just nail it yeah as a doubt lasted how we don't we don't know now we're free sick we're chillin man chillin we were chillin um yo dude Cole the branch little uh yo this man like pregnancy porn yeah also first of all his haircut yeah he actually looks like kind of normal now yeah you know yeah before I just look like him and his wife where this is the same mmhmm mmhmm yeah now he um he definitely looks like her Christian good Christian how exactly did that good way read that captain yo this [ __ ] so I posted a picture of her this man and he goes his manager should have been like a no I don't know if it's just a husband thing or what but something about Savannah being pregnant makes her so smoking hot to me I'm gonna be a little sad when she loses her belly what if we just kept going I love nothing in putting the baby than face Jesus man is Christ yeah that's what that is that's a fetish yeah that's a collab rant finally learning about fetishes right there yeah but like not realizing that they're a thing yeah so just publicly saying it yeah yeah that's that's I'm not really sure what it is maybe it's just a husband they've been kind of confused about like I can't really [ __ ] turned on by Savannah nor toes Savannah's giant pregnant stomach yeah and then [ __ ] Ken Vaughn replies yeah I love seeing those beautiful human submarines where that [ __ ] is like Twitter account or like his reddit account at a bunch of weird comments like that pregnancy porn Ken bone is the top comment on Cola branch said I agree yeah such a beautiful thing such a beautiful item being created oh just gets me [ __ ] hard such a beautiful simple pure thing you know life creating other life there's a small human inside there and it just makes me rock [ __ ] hard do things that coming with me they're one [ __ ] a Christian dude admitting fetishes like on very public forum this is such a funny just like his local church so just he's like now I know sometimes we enjoy watching interracial sex right yeah everyone's like you guys we all enjoy this right he's like too sheltered even know that it's like yeah what does interests are you know everyone else we all sometimes enjoy so when you guys finger your butt and shower like the soap is really [ __ ] with my pestle with my whole the way so do you guys go and dryer what's the deal like what do you mean dude when you finger your [ __ ] in the shower and you're jacking off with the gag ball in your mouth guys stop I'm talking about when you finger your ass in the shower it's a we all do it why are you looking at me like that such a husband thing yeah exactly right you know when you're in the shower and you put a little soap on and you're like oh yeah daddy's a bad boy uh-uh you know you do that you do that what like I'm crazy I'm talking about just normal you just finger in your [ __ ] your own [ __ ] in the shower and you're you're calling yourself daddy's little princess and you film it and you upload it to your DOM cuz that's what she wanted you to do you know and we do that right yeah what's it so so in the book of John this is the Savannah dude this is your guys as wives get like a little weird when they come home when their clothes are kind of ripped because you've been wearing them all day and it's like being weird about it I'm just I'm trying to tell her like but like what else maybe this is a normal thing total husband thing spring on Savannah's lipstick the other day just checking out my lips just you know bra just put on her lipstick cuz tissue paper in there and call myself with sassy little Queen yeah you know we do this right you know it's like a guy thing the husband just husband things is just husband yeah it's the hashtag just husband things yeah you know right right boys no talking about dude that's your own I mean that's fine that you like doing that but that's that would be considered probably like a fetish of some sort I don't know whether is that a spice what fetish was fettuccine spiced fettuccine that's when your fetish yeah that's all you wanna [ __ ] pasta that's the word you use when you're trying to ease your way into something yeah fettuccine little fettuccine small fetish fettuccine a little finish ET on that second thing that reminded me of is I took this art art class like I don't know second year of college even we learned about like some tribe where to so they believed come was like a holy like substance oh yeah at least that's what the chief told everybody okay so they believed in like just the Chiefs comer I don't remember that much I just know that come was very like his yeah actually I think it was I believe to be like from the gods okay so like I was laughing cuz I'm like I remember read like listening this [ __ ] PowerPoint like crying laughing I'm like bread this is just totally like this dude figured it out no one else did and it was like when a woman got pregnant because like [ __ ] could give life it was seen that's why I was seen as holy okay when a woman was pregnant it was like the chief would try to [ __ ] her as much as possible to like make the baby like as healthy as possible so he just could just keep just busting Insider which is extremely graphic that was his way of just getting to nail everybody every pregnant J every pregnant woman yes [Laughter] don't bully Coll the brain is a nice guy yeah don't dumble him bully him but don't yeah it's only bullying and we're just think about someone that doesn't know what a fetish is telling everybody it's like the weird bathroom [ __ ] that you do that that like it's a weird [ __ ] like if you grow up I guess like that religious I feel like you just don't talk about that [ __ ] of course this is like a sin yeah you can't talk about that [ __ ] you can talk about like your well you're sorry like you can't really talk to your friends about like what you do in the bathroom that's why I [ __ ] wipes from the front what yeah that's the whole thing man what do you mean what do you mean what I don't even know I don't even want to [ __ ] start this you're having it but like pushes back I mean he's probably gonna be mad that I just put him on its have to cut this out you can you can you can blank the name you can censor the name okay I'm pretty sure that he like holds his balls and pushes back no and wipes that gets on the Gooch man I don't know dude I don't know how it works that's what I'm saying I have no idea how it works but like people do different [ __ ] they just don't talk about it we've talked about this before we haven't yeah we talked about this on the podcast you know what bathroom habits I mean maybe yeah but not that blank what I see really it's a thing man about it no apparently other people do too other dudes what yeah no I stick my I stick my my cake in the air okay wipe my [ __ ] properly from the bottom up stick it in the air yeah I get on off I get on my I get on all fours and stick my ass in the air and wipe my ass dude I could get a husband just husband things yeah just husband things right there my hands and knees and yeah I get my grounding and like dude like the dog thing right yeah yeah yeah okay now here's a here's a weird bathroom thing that I get [ __ ] clown for behind care I'm so addicted to my phone that nine times out of ten I'll pee sitting down my phone but sometimes I leave the door open at home and now there's this thing that's what I was lying about earlier when I was sitting down okay yeah I was taking a piss okay now my phone taking a piss actually watching that deep throat video that's how I came to the [ __ ] tongue dog flashlight thing cuz all he runs up and I like I go hey uh and he he gets his tongue in my mouth and I'm like ha as your so you tongue kissed your dog as I'm watching it watching a deep throat video sitting so many categories I'm crossing off yeah yeah I'm crossing off so many categories there damn so many yeah husband things dude just husband thing yeah eh if Russ ever like wanted to like dis us for real that's like the first thing he's gonna say a you pee sitting down yeah how am I have to like defend that it's gonna suck ya know but I tell me pee sitting down yeah because my back hurts a little for a little penis in there but every headline the next day is Russ's first w yeah that's con come on man but then we find out him moaning while he wipes his ass is true that's how we get him back he'll be my fire back yeah you moan you wipe your ass so you think yeah but so does everyone yeah yeah no man just husband things just husband things alright ladies and gentlemen um before we get into scripture today I just want to you know cover on something that I think no husbands this is for you now whenever we moan while wiping our ass we have to think so random voice in the back what I gotta say maybe just like a husband thing but men when Savannah takes a [ __ ] I just want it all over my mouth just left putting saran wrap over my mouth and just like I had a hot load log fall onto my those little hot rabbit pellets fall onto my saran wrap like a game of ice breaker over my mouth Oh remember that [ __ ] game what like icebreaker now it was like it was like a game or it was like basically like a [ __ ] napkin like in a like little plastic hold and like it was like themed like penguins and [ __ ] it was like break the ice or something and like you took like little balls like tongs you took turns like putting them on top and then whoever broke it like law I do remember that yeah yeah same mechanism for hot [ __ ] and a saran wrap yeah I just feel like that that device was initially invented it's like a failed scat play sex toy they're like well we could repurpose it but nobody actually shits deer pellets except for girls yeah girls I think girls do we're gonna get like five women who are like nope yeah that big log get hot steaming log big [ __ ] I take shits bigger than my boyfriend's dick what's happening bro just wife things you know I remember this [ __ ] battle that forum like on Facebook this dude posted he was like hey if you enjoy taking a [ __ ] you gay and they just sparked like this but mega threat of like hyper masculine dudes being like no you shouldn't even be thinking about pleasure when you take a [ __ ] on me that's gay now you should just take a dump like it ain't it shouldn't even be no [ __ ] like that you shouldn't be thinking like that like you should just what happened like watching them like dance around like the pleasure you enjoy pinching off a fat load everyone does relief homie yeah it feels good yeah not as gay home as gay I hold my [ __ ] in yeah here's some eighty do you remember right my poo calm yes yes dude right that's a great website holy [ __ ] that's a great website in the glory days of the internet right there damn ray my poo calm [ __ ] there was only like 80 pictures on that site like I knew everyone but I would still go back I wanted some new there today was hot or not calm yeah rape my boo was the one no it was the best house the one where I was like damn the Internet can do some crazy [ __ ] is gonna be I see a bright future ahead for all of us and all those shits were taking with like a [ __ ] like a flash cannon digital it only held like nine pictures eight of them [ __ ] they never had toilet paper in them no so somebody just [ __ ] stand up take a picture of it and then sit back down and wipe their ass yeah you know I'm saying yeah or get on all fours and wipe their ass yeah I mean yeah if it was some of those shits were violent right yeah like just corn flakes got poured into the bowl yeah just like [ __ ] how oh dude nice work little vans blood you know I mean like did you ever I remember like just through college like I take a [ __ ] and sometimes I'd like turn around and be yeah that's right my poo worthy that's right my food worthy right there I don't know why I like I went through a period of just like I mean yeah I mean you sent just some weird here's a you send [ __ ] pics to your friends no that was my knowing favorite thing to do in college sometimes just like just hit like hit like nine of my friends or the picture of a fat log you just open this [ __ ] up just like at work or in class just like dude why yeah why yeah I guess we used to do that I don't know I think I were Sam one but I've definitely been sent been sent a [ __ ] pic yeah I'm and that's just Mike my foul humor yeah [ __ ] pic is too funny to me yeah that's pretty funny just like in the middle of chemistry class just no goddamn oh there's circumference on that Jesus Christ Darrin his husband things as husband things do this husband things yeah so I'm like my [ __ ] lame ass thing on stream lately has been like trying to troll people voices and [ __ ] again another might one of my infamous lists of to know people I firmly believe that SNL has stolen one of my bits oh yeah cuz I was like doing this thing on stream rest pertaining to be like a clueless dad mm-hmm and then like they did the same bit and some of the dialogue was very close I'm like it's kind of weird but it's a pretty like do you think a writer for us no no no I don't personally watching your stream no it's like hey they could be it's very trophy stuff but like it did remind me Trevor Wallace had the homie they'd actually they did something that like he had done like multiple times like like on Instagram he had done it a lot it was like dramatic readings of Drake lyrics okay that one like I kind of could see how someone like pinch that really but like I've heard like SNL I guess is like known for doing that like they used to have writers like sitting in the Comedy Store and people would like see their bit like a stand-up bit on television they'd be like what the [ __ ] lately yeah that used to be a thing The Comedy Store are like on MADtv and stuff like that so the Comedy Store used to have to like police that damn or like or comedy clubs used to have least have a signal when there were writers in the room okay so people would change their set um to like a set they didn't care about or like they would start maybe just doing crowd work huh so like the the writers couldn't get anything it's like that was a thing let's say yeah I wonder if that's all happens I mean I mean I think I'm less I mean you could just put your phone on record and just record the whole [ __ ] thing good yeah so I mean I I doubt it I think like there's too much there's too much power and social media tool and shred yeah but then again like the people watch those shows don't go on Twitter and stuff like that you know speaking of the Comedy Store what was the deal with Zach Fox pissing on Joe Rogan yeah apparently he got kicked out for peeing on Joe Rogan's car like I don't I don't know the context like he just tweet her like that I wonder what that story was I mean maybe he just got drunk like peed on it and sometimes Joe Rogan's car yeah well maybe if someone said that's like cuz the Comedy Store is really stupid like their parking lot you see all the celebrities cars yeah be so easy to just like throw it like [ __ ] in your hand and throw it at something yeah just husband things up doesn't thing yeah yeah like I remember like Bobby Lee pulled up yeah he like gives us keys to the valet guy and I'm thinking the car is gonna go somewhere the valet guy moves it like 10 feet I'm like well I mean maybe we should take that somewhere they should have a side lot yeah anyway his his song Zach Fox's song have you heard it yes don't so [ __ ] funny so dope it's so funny let's do that whole [ __ ] is so goddamn funny that dude is hilarious yeah - me are ya straight of shoutout Zach box um what the [ __ ] is I'm gonna say the other thing what we just talking about we're talking about smearing [ __ ] on the walls which is a very husband thing you know I don't know what it is you know I'm saying about my being a husband and my wife goes out to run some areas or whatever and me getting naked and I'm [ __ ] it's my own hands smearing all over the walls and screaming about the government you know she I don't know what it is she gets home and I just I don't know I love when she opens the door on her face when she sees my [ __ ] smeared all over the walls it's just kind of a husband thing I guess I don't know you know just dropping tabs and smearing poo yeah dude what the [ __ ] no oh yeah yeah so there was the so I was gonna say oh yeah yeah this was so whatever trolling kids on stream these two kids i trolled the video I squatted up with them the other day like for streaming [ __ ] I made fun of one of them for eating cereal mm-hmm cuz like his mom did is the funny his mom comes in and like he's like you know he's got all this attitude and his mom comes in you can hear her like Jaden put you have to get all these dishes and and clean up my Haven like she's like telling you what to do and he's like uh-huh yeah okay yeah it gets very dialed down for the whole duration of the stream like I'm like found on him like you do your dishes and kissing it and I like make a comment I'm like yeah I know you got like half-eaten cereal bowls you like cereal I'm like yeah cereal like laughs did it like it was like poor people food or something okay I'm like dude don't like what the [ __ ] what world do you live in where cornflakes is like the [ __ ] like food for the gulag like like the way he scoffed at it was so like entitled I could hear it oh really it is very like cereal that was like a rich laughs like I would never I would never be caught dead eating cereal or cocoa puffs yeah do I live in the ghetto yeah or maybe he does maybe he's like allergic so he hates it yeah cereal yeah right there right I'm not trying to die I'm not a [ __ ] no no he doesn't admit that he's allergic to it he's just trying to yeah a cereals for [ __ ] what do you eat cereal that's gay that's gay cereal [Music] yo my brain is bouncing around I listen to the first track on logics album yeah not turn that right off yeah that's pretty cool yeah logically need to be honest I love his producer yes producers great yeah I don't know man I've call me a hater or whatever you just like the first drags like doing this like a rush it like [ __ ] Lingam I made 30 million off rap I'd to write this on a private plane yeah I'm like I'm like Kanye what people was like who's Kanye I'm like he's got these voicemails of like fans mm-hmm the second voice is like logic dude I love your work I'm like this kid drops hard arse on Xbox all [ __ ] day the same voice love every single one of your projects dude guy you [ __ ] you've inspired me dude to love you I wanna [ __ ] rap and [ __ ] yeah you've inspired me you know whatever [ __ ] I was just what I had some [ __ ] that I wanted to talk about whoa oh Sagittarius shadi oh yeah a greatest YouTube content creator if you want to see the the best channel on YouTube that's serious yeah best one number one best channel on YouTube straight-up it's this girl Sagittarius shadi a shouty Sagittarius shouty Sagittarius guess age I could say it shot childish Audi I could say it shoud ii Sagittarius show D shadi Shani shouting Sagittarius shouted Xiao D she got the best goddamn YouTube channel on earth dude honestly I was riveted yet 17-minute video I watched every second of that my eyes glued to the screen so I can I say here we watched an hour's worth of her videos the rest buddy yeah we're about to keep going I'm like we have to stop it's it's been an hour like we have to stay home it's [ __ ] amazing they're [ __ ] they're beautiful they're beautiful another [ __ ] art yeah I I'm not kidding after I watched on those videos I'm like yeah I try way too hard yeah oh yeah or like I'm not interesting yeah this girl just talked for 17 minutes like in every part of it every part of it had something that was like enjoyable oh yeah no part of it dragged yeah like the part where she's trying to her iPhone Falls and she's trying to fix it she's trying to fix it and she keeps like trying to continue this story it was so funny to angle it was so funny it was so goddamn funny okay so the video that we're talking about someone someone tweeted at me and goes oh you should react to Sagittarius shoddy and chardee chardee Sagittarius I said chardee chardee chardee chardee yeah Sagittarius sharding dowdy and so I looked her up and she's got like 12,000 subscribers so I'm like okay people send me these obscure ass channels half the time it cited them or one of their friends yeah yeah you should react to this in Super cringy and it's got the previews and doing is your boy yes so I'm kind of thought it was one of those and then I notice the third video down has a hundred and ninety-two thousand views and it's called it's called story time story time ten Abdus in a row and then the Greek flag I think yeah and I'm like Abdus what the [ __ ] is an ab dis I have no idea what that is ten in a row the thumbnail is her she's got like ton of makeup on pink hair and she's like sitting in front of the camera and I'm like okay something feels the only video with a hundred and ninety two thousand views so Hannah here dish in a row don't know wasn't what an AB this is right away I'm like this is gonna be some good whatever whatever it is that you did ten of in a row it's definitely worthy of me clicking this video right now I click it in the it's so the video is 17 minutes long it's three stories three or four stories it's three three stories that she told in a row the first one is about how she sucked ten dick Somalian do Somali ten Somalian dudes in a row in a row yeah and it's on believable I saw this like a horrible tongue piercing yeah that gives her a speech pad and she talks funny tongue thing yo and the thing that kills me about her storytelling is she focuses on things that are like you think it's going somewhere and then she like kind of loses her train of thought so she'll like tell you about like some guy like yelling at her for wanting extra sweet and sour sauce and she'll be like so blah blah blah so I just [ __ ] 10 guys or whatever and you're like we didn't know what happened between the cheeseburger like yeah what yeah happened yeah and so she like all of a sudden like the first part the first like it starts off like sort of innocently like she's like so I met these guys and I flashed in my tits or I was on my friend snapchat and I posted my tits right and blah blah blah and I'm kind of like okay okay yeah a little bit like that yeah and then she starts to see but like whatever right he goes and she's like I'm not like a you know I'm not an escort anymore at this times like the beginning of my whole years yeah and then you're like yeah okay I'm like yeah this is crazy and just like yes we met up with this dude or whatever and dah dah dah and he says so I heat my friend didn't really know him and got it whatever so I'm sucking him off in the back seat and oh wait what the [ __ ] yeah and she goes on all of a sudden you're his friend comes up right and his name is duh duh duh like she's a massive amount of time she says duh dad out of this [ __ ] playing the drums seriously he comes over and so he says you know like suck me off and data or whatever and so I go to a chair he sits in a chair and I get on my knees or whatever data and I start sucking him off and all of a sudden before before I know it all of this guy's friends ten guys and whatever and data die in a single-file line behind me like it like straight up grade school single-file line waiting to get their dick sucked know what's hilarious then she goes she's like so whatever I'm sucking this guy's dick and I spit I spit his come out because like no spit his nut on the floor I spit on the floor cuz like she makes this like disgusted like like I'm not gonna swallow like I don't gonna be swallowing like 10 guys nut like obviously I'm like yeah yeah have some it's not gonna swallow the nut gross that would be disgusting yeah that's disgusting but one totally fine ten once swallowed nine sucks it or did one small the night spits one of them was like yeah man I gotta get my dick sucked my next story was about how nothing don't spoil okay okay yeah yo you also gotta watch the one where she talks about my first train experience your comments they're like I'm 16 I thought you were talking about an actual train like it's so many young kids being like why are eight-year-olds yeah on that video thinking it's about toy trains yeah just why are you two posting about this this isn't it Wayne then she starts like going on about like like she calls it getting pig roasted but apparently it's not that but she thinks it is because the dynamics of like you're basically getting pig roasted now she's like shut out in the comments have you ever been in a in a gangbang yeah if you ever been maybe you'll leave us a comment if you ever been in a yeah pig roast anyone dessert just being like it's a classic youtuber so today I'm gonna talk about a pig roast by the way comment below if you've ever been in a pig roast I'd love to know your thoughts and your experience I'd be awesome so anyway I was getting pig roasted this pornhub [ __ ] yeah cuz pornhub is turning into YouTube yeah goddamn dude Sagittarius shadi yeah dude I can shout out to you I remember this girl used to worship it [ __ ] mmm I'm gonna dock certain I'm gonna ducks and I'm gonna give it a chance okay at one of my previous shitty jobs I was telling a group of us how she was in a like she basically she got pig roast it okay she goes yeah I got bored in the middle so I just left she just like got up and walked away oh that yeah she's like I put on clothes and I made food damn those dude it's just like I was really drunk but whatever like I just got bored yeah I was like that must have been the funniest [ __ ] yeah just like as an observer she goes they're like yes it should be you want to just finish each other off I mean it's not cuz it's not gay cousin wonderful she was just here one of them pulls out of a shotgun this [ __ ] homie alright let's go wasn't hurt was he you telling about the MGK thing no that was in our someone comment someone commented that on Joe's one of Joe's old podcast he talks about how he knew a girl who ate out and or MGK ate or out and she and he was so bad that she left she's got up right in the middle and wow that's so cool yeah yeah I guess that happens that's ridiculous I actually want to know if anyone's ever done that man or woman yeah blow up the comments no no seriously if it's ever been so bad that you were like I'm [ __ ] out yeah I've never had that experience really do you just leave mid no not leave mid but that's like our let's do something else like you know I want to know someone who's left like a mid like like I'd be bad like that MGK like yeah the same yes your [ __ ] head out of my yeah like not only this is not turning me on but it's also doing the polar opposite is making me want to leave zip zip zip I'm out of here yeah there's Lisa he likes making like awful sounds and like he's like wrapping into her [ __ ] yet is how I did kill this is this is how I killed Eminem your beer is weird your pubic hairs weird dude she leaves and okay if she leaves an mg K is like whatever and he grabs his [ __ ] dog tongue flush but that's a good boy so crazy shake came up with my [ __ ] YouTube page it was it was mg k hair plug proof or some [ __ ] like that it's a channel dedicated to showing dudes before and after hair plugs and like showing like the recovery process and like every stage of the [ __ ] you know it's coming dude [ __ ] off [Laughter] recommendation you sure didn't seek this out at all I wasn't searching hair plug videos I can't wait til yours is up there [ __ ] off by the way I'm doing that [ __ ] what if this [ __ ] ever goes there for your voice is the move dude yeah I mean yeah I mean yeah what do you mean I'm gonna say like it's obvious I mean yeah why wouldn't you yeah I mean I don't know [ __ ] they're [ __ ] expensive [ __ ] that dude yeah [ __ ] that dude if I'm balding yeah I don't give a [ __ ] if I'm [ __ ] bottom tier factory worker yeah I refuse homie I'm gonna get hair plugs on my back I'm like repurpose lucious back hair yeah yeah how does it get the air plug they like well take it off the back your head oh and they put it up top yeah there's that this is what I learned in this video was the like was showing pictures of him and you can see on the back of his head he's got a scar right here uh-huh because they run through the light they take a line right here and I guess they take those and put them right I don't really know how that [ __ ] works then are you just never bald or does it eventually go again nose I wonder what happens no that would be crazy to have that procedure and then just never worry about it ever I'll be nuts to do that's the wind dude it's pretty funny he had a brutal hairline before I go look this [ __ ] up wait let me show you right he was talking all that [ __ ] on pear alone off oh my god that guy's so obnoxious man so obnoxious he's like ah dude he's like that classic like 2010 like no he's that classic like oh seven like wigger personality like that [ __ ] kills me there's like a bicycle tire what the it's like it's like a natural mohawk holy [ __ ] dude holy [ __ ] Oh Megamind looking oh my god dude crazy it this man out of here this mad at it ah next it doe dude dude props to him MGK is completely like that white bro who hung around a bunch of Mexicans yeah you wanna [ __ ] bang right now do this [ __ ] go dude he raps that way yeah he raps like he's about a fight all the time yeah just [ __ ] kill myself anyway yeah I was thinking it's too late to kill myself yeah why did you it's like it's like it's like quitting in like the third year of college yeah okay you pretty much have all the credits yeah you have to finish now mm-hmm it's too late mm-hmm yeah you got it like it's not cool anymore mm-hmm 27 that's not a dua yeah nothing after yeah don't 22 you gotta be accomplished - yeah yeah yeah yeah no I'm kidding don't kill yourself no okay I can't it's too late I just have to like I have to rough it out now yeah whatever you're in it I mean it too far yeah yeah get changed as well yeah too deep yeah no you know what it's never too late to say no don't do that we got a little Halloween theme going on right now you do I'm [ __ ] camouflage into this chair yeah we got it like I've been looking at new cameras yeah it is pretty bad it's this one it's pretty bad it's pretty shite it's pretty shy but I mean we didn't know we didn't know if you guys listen this long yeah who knows we got listeners there oh yeah okay this is episode 51 yeah so next week's is the one year though there's 54 weeks in the year right yeah no totally of course that's what I meant yeah oh isn't it 52 house 54 let's check who can Google faster that's it honey how many weeks I know all of you are just screaming in your cars right now shut up you're up half of you are in college and you have to memorize the Otis 52 whole [ __ ] I was right for once right for once for one time I knew a piece of trivia that's crazy brother 52 so damn dude next week so we got to do something special you are leaving on Thursday [ __ ] next Thursday yeah I'm actually leaving next Friday - so we got to do it on Wednesday yeah where are you going Nashville uh how long four days till Monday no till Sunday gonna be gone a week so we got to do no were you going Hawaii what's why uh Molina sister's got a timeshare of the second bedroom and they're like want to count through no money okay wait so your own oh yeah okay I'll leave you ready you leave in Friday let's gone a few days longer hey [ __ ] you how many vacations you took earlier this year yeah I know I've gone to Mexico - now in November what what when did you plan this yesterday you [ __ ] idiot I hate you how long like five six days I want it to go really are you gonna Cancun no no I'm gonna porta viar-toe i think oh yeah that's not good yeah I got to go to get broke so you see Cancun right now are [ __ ] stupid why I don't know like it's like okay it's winter yeah but it's to fall yeah not like stupid huh like go to cabo de don't go to [ __ ] hang on can't commit school Cabo is way better I've heard the opposite Oh Kabul is beautiful man is it yeah if you go to like the nice places dude Scott chief wise head round trips to Cabo 250 yeah do that what yes I did it man I mean it well the time I went cuz I stayed in [ __ ] Eldorado which is like the luxury [ __ ] but it was like stunningly beautiful I think if you find the right place it's that place is [ __ ] unreal do some research the Baja whatever the [ __ ] I don't know yeah I just need I need to get in the Sun yeah you need some sunlight where you go no in Hawaii just don't yourselves over and over and over again oh [ __ ] me yeah just every step like we just literally just listen to our whereabouts for the night let's just talk about let's talk about the hotels and [ __ ] yeah exactly I'm going I'm going too okay Maui dies yeah don't do anything weird to me please yeah I don't [ __ ] do anything weird to me don't [ __ ] your luck you might get laid yeah yes thank you guys that's the clip they're gonna use when people are like you pay for this part you pay for this [ __ ] dude where we at go to a luau get pig roasted I mean that's um hey gross I mean oh dude you almost got me to slip right there our for what I almost talked about some family [ __ ] yeah what about Pei Pei grossing no no just a memory okay from a from a like a luau okay and I totally would have gave some [ __ ] away right there what oh oh so you're Hawaiian Aloha no no that's not biting no no you better why yep okay yep right you're raised there no I'm Paula if I can I need to I need to get somewhere hot too yeah my name I'm off to go to Nashville actually no ability of city of rock-and-roll it's what's called yeah where's known as I've been wanting to go rock I be wanting to go yeah I'm pumped I hope we go there on our tour yeah we should talk about that why the tour yeah oh we still got we still think sometime next week or the week after yeah weird out to get officially I said this on stream but we are going independent we are self financing so please come to the show yeah it'll be good yeah it's gonna be expensive yeah but it's gonna be fun yeah so we'll see yeah please come to the show please come see us middle of January to February don't don't plan to go anywhere don't plan to go just stand by hold off on your plans till next week I think the actual announcement is next week or something yeah so just hold on okay and I don't don't go planning any trips to Cabo ladies and gentlemen cuz uh your boys might be coming to town do as we say not as we do yeah all right over the [ __ ] that means like we're booking trips to Cabo but you don't oh you shouldn't yeah well are those months I booked this because there was very low cost for me see main reason I'm gone what do you mean I'm not paying for like I'm just I just pay for my flights who's that in you stay uh Lina's sister really yeah like a timeshare it's like big and has like a second bedroom so you've seen it for free free calm [ __ ] that's dough yeah damn and we got our plane take we got our tickets for like 300 bucks yeah yeah I wanted to blow up this year episode do a big well we still can yeah I know it's just not a lot of time to plan I just make a few calls huh perhaps we bring on a guest or two yeah that's what I think we should do for she's get a lot I'm dude it it's crazy it doesn't even feel like a years past I know it is insane maybe I shouldn't start reminiscing and [ __ ] now but we can do that next episode you know this one's over I gotta take a dump watching I'm gonna Cody's dumped on rape my poo doc yeah just husband things take a [ __ ] yeah and wipe from the front so I wish I could tell you the other [ __ ] that he does but I want to put him on blast anymore I'd like I have [ __ ] I have to go in and edit out the name I'm pissed at sorry is that gonna be it issue no it's fine okay um I don't think there's any housekeeping housecleaning all right you do that yeah Cody's gonna take a [ __ ] housecleaning love you guys bye okay Cody's leaving last thing yes posters are still on the way a lot of your DMing us about that [ __ ] basically we are figuring out our merch situation we don't figure out how to say this it's all I'm gonna say figure out worse situations some of you sign up for the $50 tier looking for your merch you will get it yeah we don't have a producer and someone handling our back-end stuff so things are starting to slip through the cracks but I'm doing my best to get on top of it so yeah thank you all so much for tuning in keep an eye out for the tour announcements and we will see you next week

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 398,474

Keywords: comedy, satire, long form, podcast, cody ko, noel miller, thats cringe, interview, conversation

Id: f7FN6U-2Pac

Length: 73min 47sec (4427 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 12 2018