Drew Lynch - Impressing My Therapist

uh uh my name is Drew Lynch um I I stutter I uh have to say that every show otherwise people look at me like does he know um it's just a uh it's just a very slight speech impediment I'm sure you've heard it just every so often I I repeat myself not because I'm disabled but you know because you're dumb um did you get it uh so I I go to a speech therapy and regular therapy because I I want my problems to sound good and they are there's there's they're so different though oh man so different those two therapies like in speech therapy they only care about the way you you say things not the things you say and they'll make you say some pretty ridiculous things they give you a little alliteration anecdotes things that you would never say in real life for example uh my mother milks my mushy marbles they're like that that sounded good I'm like did it did it did it did it did it but it's celebrated in in speech therapy they're like drew that was that was amazing anytime you get stuck you you remember that exercise so a few days later as I was uh going about my day I was having a tough time saying a thing but remembering my exercise I was like my mother milks my mushy mama but I was in regular therapy didn't didn't quite get the same reaction my therapist was like what what was that I was like sorry that just that helps me out all right your your mother milking your marbles helps you out I was like oh no no no no no no no no no uh my mushy marbles you know my my my dad dad does downward dog and and dresses in Drag he's like that's that's that's another one here exercises I was like nope we're we're we're back to talking a lot of people assume that that uh that uh I've stuttered since childhood but my story is a little bit a little bit different um it is a a little sad so when I tell it to you I I don't want you to feel bad for me um I I need you to and uh when I was 20 I was playing Shortstop on a softball team and a grounder had blunted me in the throat from which I'd fallen and hit my head and that day I had a minor vocal contusion with a major concussion and I went home and I went to sleep on the concussion which you were with you're not supposed to do and then I woke up the next day and so now I have a career so um okay um I took a trip uh uh pretty recently I was in I was in Hawaii uh you as you can see from my mom shirt and I right when my plane landed in Hawaii one of the flight attendants was like hey just so you know you cannot touch the the sea turtles here or they will fine you up to ten thousand dollars and I was like I don't appreciate you assuming that I have a history of Dutch and turtles I don't like that I was the only person she told either I say you think you think I'm the guy I give a strong Turtle touch and Vibe for you know your Market why don't you you tell me what what part of a turtle looks fun to touch at all you think I was like oh I I can't wait to rub it it's bald head run my hands over that dirty Igloo it's carrying I never wanted to touch a turtle and until she told me I couldn't now I'm curious I'm like why why will it cure me why ten thousand dollars man for for Dutch and a turtle immediately I was like what's what's the fine for spanking them do you think is it I don't know if you guys have ever carefully driven through a work Zone uh down in down in the States but um if you actually hit a construction worker it is this is also ten thousand dollars which says a lot about how we value construction work or something those are in the same bracket huh wow well decisions decisions I'm like do I do I do I save up to touch a turtle [Applause] or do I hit a guy holding holding a sign that says slow it is tough it is a conundrum what happens when a turtle hits a construction worker what do we I can't imagine how much how much Mario owes oh my God did you guys would you guys do you guys think I was I was done with the Turtle stuff I'm not I'm not Mario you seen what he does the turtles that is that is egregious Behavior I always wondered why he was collecting all those coins no no I know you guys you guys you guys were so fun I've enjoyed pretty much [Music]

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 364,896

Keywords: Just for laughs, jfl, just for laugh, just for laughs youtube, youtube just for laughs, just laughs, just laugh, juste pour rire, funny comedy, comedian, stand up, stand up youtube, standup youtube, standup, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, funny, laugh, laughs, comedy, joke, humor

Id: 2pa_bivLFcI

Length: 7min 7sec (427 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 06 2023