Doctors, What Did You Never Think You'd Have To Tell A Full Grown Adult? (r/AskReddit)

redditors in healthcare what is something you never thought you would have to tell another grown but human number i cannot tell the race of your baby on ultrasound you'll have to wait until birth to have an awkward conversation with one of your boyfriend's pretty frequently have to explain to patients that they can't have metal in on their bodies during an MRI even if the jewelry whatever is on a different part of their body than what is being imaged but I'm only getting an MRI of my foot why do I have to take my earrings out because the magnet affects the entire room and it will r.i.p your earrings out and throw them around the room also people who have pacemakers who are peed off when we don't let them have an MRI because they think it won't be any big deal sorry I know you really want the best possible imaging for your back pain but we really don't want to kill you to get it really doctors need to be screening their patients for things like that before shed Yuling them for an MRI but you'd be shocked how much it happens I know you are trying to help but you don't do CPR on someone who is actively telling you to stop between compressions shut up I'm trying to save your life why showering regularly is important I am a home health physical therapist it wasn't till I started using ridded that I discovered just how many people don't realize you have to wash your but the water trucking down during the shower isn't enough paramedic here I had a PT once who was complaining of being unable to sleep he's telling me all these different things he's been trying in order to sleep you know basic things like counting backwards counting sheep melatonin nyquil benadryl is quill warm milk alcohol weed and em this has been going on for about two weeks wait a minute M so I proceeded to ask how long they've been on him I started like two weeks ago when my gf showed me at this point I thought this 47 year old man would catch on mid nope not even a flicker of a light bulb so I say to him you realize M can cause insomnia it was as though I removed the bottle of stupid juice he was drinking and open up a can of acne knowledge because he responded oh my god that makes so much sense cause I was even smoking him to try and sleep here this productive member of society went straight to the waiting room yes you smoking in your house is likely making your kids asthma worse my mother-in-law went off on me for giving my 12 year old brother-in-law ice cream after dark but he has asthma you'll give him an attack cup too five minutes later we're all in the living room and two people are smoking yes it's the ice cream don't hide bottles of 5-hour energy in your bag my PT came in with a complaint of the journal foreign body doc goes in to do the pelvic exam pulls out an opened sealed bottle of 5-hour energy accuser explanation of hiding it from her spouse because he doesn't like for her to drink energy drinks then she asks for it back so she can drink it I t's not a pocket don't douche with bleach patient had mixed bleach fabric softener Dawn dish soap vinegar and some water just in case and burned the bejesus out of herself after having a baby three weeks prior cause she was convinced people could smell her she douched with it multiple times and came in when the burning toned down sent off to Janaka logical surgeon and never seen again intercourse makes babies okay so maybe not as succinct you would be shocked at the number of calls related to abdominal pain turn out to be pregnancy even after asking the patient if there is any chance they are pregnant and they answer number folder man terminally ill new year's eve presented to the year in the company of an escort he had a finishing nail in his erect dong he was into Peniel sounding he says well there was nothing else lain round and I'm so freaked up and can't feel a thing indeed he was freaked up cook alcohol and ma little growin some hydrocodone poor dude just wanted one last Rhaegar I told him would is just a euphemism man don't shove sharp things up your pee hole he took it in stride he was in the hospital for two days the escort basically stayed with him the end haier time come to find out she was only one of the three escorts he had paid she wasn't even the one who shoved the nail up there I thought it odd that she hung around until he told me how much he had paid them turns out the other two were hanging out at his house waiting for his return I visited him before he was discharged dude pop some ex right in front me and says just getting a head start no more sharp crap I promise doc I works in hospital administration for nearly two years while working on something I decided to take a break and go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and not look at number while there a woman was on the phone with someone and was pretty openly talking about how she kept drinking the night before surgeries to calm her nerves and how she thought it was ridiculous that the doctors couldn't wouldn't just pump her stomach survey could get the surgery started now I don't know all of the details on what she was getting done nor was I there for her presume tirade on our doctors as she was prepped for whatever it is she needed done but I am grateful I wasn't she continued this conversation for probably a minute with her friend completely oblivious to how ridiculous she sounded don't lick your contact lenses to clean them seriously I work in health information management currently I get to explain to parents that even though they are biological I still can't share information about your adult kid about a half dozen times a day nurse here I have to explain daily to patients that they can't eat before an operation they're always saying things like that if I ate and had an accident wouldn't they operate on me I have to explain that in case of life-and-death situations the doctor takes some risks but why risk during and routine operation I worked in obstetrics for many years I was taking care of a woman in her late 20s definitely not a teen mom married with a job she got to 10 centimeters so I did my usual speech about how to push effectively she nods and pushes when I tell her and she did great really moved the baby down I'm excited but I noticed she's whispering to her husband he looks at me and says so why do you want her to do that I was a bit taken aback and very slowly explained that she had to that to get the baby out she asked if I was kidding at this point I feel like I'm the butt of a practical joke but he didn't stop he kept asking if there wasn't a better way to do it and muttering that I was being ridiculous she continued to push and thankfully didn't take long because she kept rolling her eyes at me I was thrilled to hand this lovely couple off to the doctor they looked slightly more convinced when he told her to do exactly what I had told her to do and then a baby magically appeared if she'd ended up in a c-section I'm sure she'd have been convinced I had done it all to torture her how does a woman make it into adulthood in normal society without knowing you have to push a baby out and then there was the time a woman got mad when I told her there was absolutely no way we could do her caesarean laparoscopically literally every show movie that depicts women giving birth has this exchanged a few minutes of nurse push-push pregnant lady I can't push anymore nurse boyfriend whoever yes you can one more push baby wah-wah no your teenage daughters cannot share a single prescription for birth control pills you need to wash your hands don't flip your wife's colostomy hole it's been years since I learned of a new fetish so thank you I took care of a paraplegic as a home health RN she was young and she was attractive she lived with her boyfriend and kept getting you teased this isn't uncommon she had a catheter and it's something that can be very hard for this population well this patient was talking to me about her intimate life and told me her boyfriend liked anal she has no feeling below the waist then it hit me I asked if he's going from anal to vaginal she said she wasn't sure so I went and asked him I had to tell them both that is probably what is causing her you tease they can't go from anal to vaginal so that's what I charted patient education was that day I had to call her urologist and primary care to let them know we probably found the issue we all tried to be professional there was lots of awkward laughing usually goes along with after a car accident and their kids weren't in car seats seatbelts how their kids need to be in frickin car seats but it's summer so a more seasonal example is the following me so what's the problem today they might don't know what's going on I can't breath I'm having a seizure me hum has this ever happened before TJ usually when I smoke crystal M me did you smoke crystal M today T a like 30 minutes ago why me patient had been referred to my pharmacy by his physician for anon TC enema the guy was not the sharpest tack and apparently either his physician did not explain it one of the guy didn't listen but our conversation went like this PT so I drink down this whole bottle and then I'll have to crap me no sir this is an enema it is used rectally PT confused so what's that mean I don't have to drink the whole thing me no sir you'll lie on your side and insert the applicator tip of the bottle into your rectum and squeeze the contents until you bowel you'll then remain lying on your side and hold the enema in until you feel the urge to have a bowel movement PT you telling me I got to stick it up my butt me yes sir this is an enema and it is used rectally there are detailed instructions and diagrams in the Box PT Frick you and he stormed off that was the last I saw of him not sure if he thought I was messing with him or what but I hope he eventually got to crap well conversely when I got the prep stuff for my column Skippy the pharmacist made it a point to tell me several times that it was an oral medication and not a suppository I can only imagine what precipitated that one worked in an optical practice in the UK man comes in complaining of bad vision his a stigmatism has increased by like three diopters that's a free cloud and definitely shouldn't happen optician retested using different kit same result told him to come back in a week and we will retest it this time we're looking at four diopters they freak out recheck again another optician checks it same result they run through health smoking drinking medicine nothing out of the ordinary the guy looks stressed as crap put his head in his hands and put his thumbs against the side of his eyes the optician asks if he does that a lot apparently whenever he's stress he pushes the sides of his eyes he's done it so much that he has physically changed the front of his eyeball and ruined his vision we told him to stop doing that never thought we'd have to tell another human being to not squeeze their own eyeballs also had to tell a kid to not look at laser pointers but he was just dumb as crap I don't know how much pressure is required to create this problem but now I am paranoid about rubbing my eyes old friend of mine is a nurse practitioner she told me she once saw a patient Mayo complaining of severe rectal itching and general pain she is a very smart people person she can read people very well she got right to the point and asked him about his daily hygiene routine she had a hunch based off his presentation that he was a manned man ain't no gay stuff happening here long story short when showering he never cleaned his butt ever he told her that it was gay to touch his anus she had to explain to him that the severe rash and itching he had been dealing with for apparently years was a direct result of his perceived homo acts he instructed him to go home take a proper shower and apply witch hazel for a few days amazing that a grown man thinks this way I'm amazed by the logic that it's gay to wash your crack but somehow not to touch your own dong what an appropriate reason to dial nine-one-one private ambulance services know it's not okay to call 9-1-1 because your boyfriend won't take his jacket off and no calling us directly private ambulance isn't appropriate either a lady in my building called 9-1-1 because her son had nasal congestion WTF no belly button lint is not a reason to go to the emergency room via ambulance you're 22 wash your dong that you need to take the packaging off the suppository before you insert it which in retrospect is why they were making his piles worse when I worked at CVS it was our policy to change insert til unwrap and insert on all pre-generated suppository instructions me do you have any medical problems PT nope me do you take any medications PT yes I take metformin levothyroxine coumadin metoprolol Silas etc for me say you are diabetic have thyroid issues take an avi blood thinner at high blood pressure etc question mark PT well no not since I started taking my meds I had to tell a patient that food cooked in restaurants does in fact have salt sodium he was under the impression that they just didn't idk I was like no dude that's why their food tastes good me did you miss a dose of insert medicine name here PT no I take it every day me how many times did you not take previously named medicine in the past week PT 3 and I skipped this morning too this happens probably once a week the amount of people who skip their diabetes or hypertension meds because they don't feel hypoglycemic or hypertensive is mind boggling the three that come to mind for me are one trying to explain to a patient why it probably wasn't a good idea to eat a container of cottage cheese that had been sitting out on the counter all night to the entire family of a lady with a pacemaker they kept insisting that she did not have a history of heart problems they were convinced that because the pacemaker helped her that it meant she no longer had any kind of heart problem three family with a mom that was 650 pounds and if they wanted to move her anywhere they would have to call the fire department they were always apologetic and such and said they just didn't know why she was so heavy in that she's tried everything to loose weight but all around her bed is nothing but Butterfinger Babe Ruth wheeze cup packages fast food bags I'm like she can't walk on her own bring her a salad all this junk and no movement is why she's so heavy my mom is a nurse and had to teach these parents how to read a clock their baby wasn't eating enough because they didn't know when it's time to feed him it's not okay to crap the bed just because you don't want to walk 10 feets to the bathroom said to a fully coherent and independent patient that decided she would rather just have the staff clean her up and change the sheets wife had a baby the process involved about 100 professionals telling never to shape my baby of course I thought everyone knows that wife's water breaks we are in the hospital and she's getting checked in I'm there were two other soon-to-be fathers a nurse comes by and almost casually starts giving us a basic rundown of what not to do stuff I've heard a hundred times we get to never shake your baby and one guy looks confused at the well during conversation takes place where this man insists he's never heard of that must be cultural differences insist everyone where he came from was shaken and eventually is led away to talk to the doctor I never saw him again but I'm still scared for that baby he does not come out the bag he is stored in the balls we all know this I took on the nurse role at a camp once and had to tell a bunch of kids not to put hand sanitizer and their urethras to a girl once that she needed the morning-after pill because she thought that girls only have babies if they think really hard to have one that's some wishful thinking right there a couple instances come to mind one don't have intercourse six hours after you delivered a baby two coffee creamer is not the same as infant formula please do not feed your day-old newborn international delight three probiotics are different from antibiotics probiotics do not cure syphilis I am a clinical lab scientist and I frequently have to tell patients that I cannot accept their stool samples in we're mugs food to-go boxes etc the worst is when they take the Kratt filled mug back home with them cause they don't want to lose a perfectly good mug yes you are pregnant I'm holding a head with my hand as she's screaming it's not possible mum saying the same thing as she called her mum guess they found out it was possible had a partner try to threaten to take our patient out of the hospital because she was in increasing pain and we were and stopping fixing it note she was in labor and minutes away from delivering had to explain that leaving now would not help her pain as it's normal to increase as labor progresses and by leaving we would have to remove the epidural and that would definitely make pain worse note we had zero plans of actually doing any of this but still had to point out how stupid his logic was there was no way we would let someone who's about to deliver to walk out like close enough we checked between legs to make sure no surprise baby on the bed level poster delivering luckily her mom showed up a few minutes later and very quickly put him in his place he tried to brag to her about how he was threatening to leave going for tough guy macho type persona and she told him to either shut up or wait down in Lobby the number of guys I've spoken to who genuinely think that a woman in labor goes immediately to hospital where they completely and instantly stop all her pain and get the baby out within a few minutes is disturbing nurse here the number of people I've had to tell to not drink or to stop drinking their urine is surprising few have been visited by the romantic girl comment love is magic so you never fall in the friendzone if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: UE Stories

Views: 173,167

Keywords: health care, doctors of reddit, doctors, doctor stories, nurses, doctor, health, grown man, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: byy7Ib7J72E

Length: 19min 26sec (1166 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 25 2020