- We're in quarantine, and apparently they were in
quarantine on "Scrubs" also, and I haven't watched an episode of "Scrubs" in quite some time. Let's watch it right now. I'll explain this in a bit. Pew! - Before I settled on the outfit for my first date with Kylie, I had to run it by the experts. So be honest, but not too honest, okay, cause I'm feeling a little chunky. - My man is wearing a red t-shirt underneath a white dress shirt, untucked, with a blazer on top. He's like combining three
styles, maybe four, into one. It's a solid no for me. - [Elliot] Whoa. - Short sleeve shirt under a blazer. Why? Oh! - Happy birthday Laverne. - Thanks Carla. - Did your brother make you face cake? - Sure did. - [Carla] Wow. - Think I could have a
piece of that face cake? - I heard there's a face cake. - [Crowd] Face cake, I heard it. - I don't know what it is with hospitals, we love bringing unhealthy
treats and snacks to our staff lounges. I don't get it. Like I know we probably stress eat more than most professions, but the fact that we have
the unhealthiest stuff when we're supposed to
be examples of health. We do it sometimes in good
comradery to celebrate birthdays, but then there's like a
birthday every other day which means Philly fluff. If you don't know what
a Philly fluff cake is, you're missing out. And you're probably healthy. - Thanks for the shirt Lonnie. - Are you doing this because I
forgot to shave this morning? - What is going on? Why is he wearing the name tag on his nip? - So, what's wrong with this guy? - Well let's see, fatigue, fever, malaise. Have you been to Hong Kong, sir? - I don't know if this is going in a medically accurate direction. And on top of it, who's gonna take up a patient's chart and
just start reading it with a random, non-hospital employee. Although maybe she works at
a hospital, I don't know. And gone are the days of the chart sitting at the patient's bedside,
cause people walk around there, and health information
is a protected asset. - Could be SARS. - Severe acute respiratory syndrome, and now with COVID-19, we're facing SARS-COV-2. In the beginning, actually, when the International Taxonomy of Viruses, the organization that
names all the viruses, named it SARS-COV-2, I was so confused why they chose to go with
that instead of COVID-19, and then it hit me, COVID-19 was actually the name of the disease
caused by SARS-COV-2, and SARS-COV-2 actually has a meaning of SARS Coronavirus two,
because it was the second one after the initial SARS. - [Alarm Voice] Doctor suspects SARS, that's cause for immediate
quarantine lock down. - But why did he suspect SARS? I mean, the patient had what? Fatigue, malaise,
basically not feeling good, and like a fever or something? That fits 10,000 if not
100,000 different illnesses. And FYI, when we do
isolations or quarantines, that's not how we do them. We don't have metal doors dropping and alarms ringing like that, it's a lot more controlled, it's a lot smarter, because different illnesses require different types of precautions. Initially with COVID-19, we were doing just droplet
and contact precaution, but then as we became worried
about aerosolized particles, some hospitals went to
airborne precautions, that required a negative
pressure air room for patients who were admitted with the illness. That's why it was very difficult on hospitals to manage all these patients. It's a novel virus, we
were learning as we went. Like imagine, normally
we're treating patients with already existing
knowledge of an illness. Now we were treating patients
and learning at the same time. It's not an ideal scenario
for ideal outcomes. - What have you done, newbie? - Quarantinis anyone? (loud laughing) - She said, "Quarantinis." That's funny. - Unfortunately, by hospital policy, we have to stay locked down until the labs come back, and that's going to take several hours. So let's hang in there, and not forget this is
all Dr. Dorian's fault. (soft chuckling) - We are short handed, there are only four doctors here. - I counted more than that. - I'm talking legitimate
doctors, turtle head. Here, pee pants is a
pathologist, so he doesn't count. Johnson is a dermatologist,
which is Greek for fake doctor. (loud laughing) - Oh my God, he said "Dermatologist "is Greek for fake doctor." I can only imagine how a
dermatologist or pathologist feels when they're on an
airplane and someone says is there a doctor on
board and they volunteer. There's no way they know what to do, unless they're fresh out of residency and they just got some training, but otherwise, like if
you're seeing skin conditions all the time, or you're looking at slides, how do you know how to handle anaphylaxis in the air without an EpiPen,
or an Epi auto injector? By the way, we're gonna
have a dermatologist on very soon, and not to critique my horrible SPF situation here. Please don't judge me. I know it's embarrassing. I didn't apply the SPF correctly. I don't know how I did it
so poorly, but look at this. - I'm bored, I'm a surgeon
and there's no surgery. - Why do you think I brought you in here? - Oh my God, that rhythm on the monitor. I don't understand, they have all of this equipment, they have medical aids, but what is going on on their monitors? The rhythms that are being shown looks like the patient is
literally coding as we speak, I don't understand. Just show a proper rhythm. - The only thing I detest
more than treating patients is treating patients on an empty stomach. I'm famished. - You've been in here for eight minutes. - I haven't eaten since yesterday. I've been starving myself because I was going to a steak house tonight. It was just gonna be me,
a 24 ounce porter house, and a fist full of blood thinners. - This is, like, the exact opposite of the chief of family medicine
that I worked with. Well he's technically the family
medicine program director, Dr. Joseph Tribuna. He will starve himself
for 10 days if he has to in order to make sure his
patients are taken care of. I have never seen an
attending who during rounds will not only make sure
that they're getting the diagnosis right, their
patients taken care of, all of that, but then also they'll, he would literally open a
patient's food for them, help them eat it. Like no job was too big or too small to make sure that the
patient was comfortable. (soft thunder)
Whoa. - So how's it going for Kylie? - There was nothing exciting going on. This sucks! I need to look like a stud, and a doctor can't look like a stud unless he's saving somebody's life. I need somebody to have a heart attack. - Got $20? - Come on Steve, stay with me buddy. You're not getting this one! - Oh my God! What are you doing? I mean, I know it's fake. But it's too fake. It's a fake within a fake. It's a show that's poorly medically acted on top of a fake person
having a fake heart attack. Okay, there's too many fakes. - Could you make your face
a little bit redder buddy? Come on.
- I want more money. - What? - $50 or I tell the girl. - I don't have it. - Get it. - Elliot, I need another
doctor over here, stat. (chuckling) - He said, "I need another doctor stat." - Do you have $30. - I gave you 20, I'm tapped. Ask Johnson, he's loaded. - I need a dermatologist over here, stat! (laughing loudly) - Look how these chest
compressions are so bad. - Time to shine. What do you need? Is it a rash? (coughing)
- "Is it a rash?" - Look, I need this guy
faked a heart attack. He wants $50, we only have 20. - You know, I feel like you guys just use me for my money. - You have a trust fund,
now give me the money. - Ah! (machine beeping) - Clear! - I'm alive! - Stop shocking people who's hearts are beating normally, please. This happens too often on these shows. At least it's comedic here. And by the way with this heart attack, if someone has a heart attack, you don't just run and start
doing chest compressions if they're breathing and have a pulse. The chest compressions are
for when a heart stops. Literally, so the heart's not beating, you're doing chest compressions
to simulate a heart beat. Like, even if you do chest
compressions perfectly, you're still only moving the blood, circulating the blood, at about 20% of the efficiency that the
heart would do it normally. So no, if someone has a heart attack, you don't just start
doing chest compressions, and you certainly don't just
shock them out of no where. The main thing you wanna do when someone's having a heart attack is
to open up their arteries that are currently blocked. And there's multiple ways we do it, stints, there's procedures, medications, and a lot of the times,
it's very time sensitive. Actually there's something
know as door-to-balloon time, which is like when you come
in with the first signs of a heart attack, we know, we have to get you in that cath lab to open up your blocked artery, or otherwise cardiac tissue is gonna die, and some of the damage could be permanent. - Seeing you in your element today, you seem so--
- [J.D.] Here it comes. Sexy. - Genuine. - [J.D.] She would have said
sexy if I had a mustache. - You know, James lied all the time, and I don't know, it's just nice to be with a guy I can trust. - Trust is the foundation
of any good relationship. Spousal or otherwise. Work or otherwise. Friendship or otherwise. Doctor or patient, or otherwise. I don't know anymore. - Laverne, I bet you're
tempted to break open that face cake and just tear it apart. - No one's touching this. - Oh I don't care, I'm not even hungry. - Why is it called face cake? Why is it called (slow audio) face cake? Someone explain it to me. - Hi Glen. - [Both] Hey. - I'm Glen.
- I'm Glen. Look, let's not go down that road again. - Why is his ID like
floating on his chest? Do you guys see that? - I don't understand why Carla didn't tell me about you guys? - Is it just me or in
"Scrubs" they always have conversations over
patients that are comatose? Just go into a meeting room. There's so many empty rooms. Why do you have to do it
over a patient's body? - The lab results are
back and there is no SARS. The quarantine is over. - I just wanna know why they thought it was SARS in the first place, why they had to quarantine
the entire department, why didn't they just do a flu swab and a respiratory panel right away? Get some quick results, find out that it's RSV and
just go about their merry way. Instead they order a
complicated test that takes-- All right, it's a show, I get it. Check out this House MD episode about a quarantine, or, these
crazy Facebook health posts, are they even real? What? As always, stay happy and healthy. But which one you clicking on? (upbeat music)
