- Somebody, please! Get in here now! - Is this Ebola? Is this Ebola? Hey guys, since we're all in quarantine because of this coronavirus pandemic, I thought there was no better time to watch a "House, M.D."
episode about a quarantine. - [Mom] Can I see? (glass crashes) - Ow!
- Julie! - Get her a towel. What was in that jar?
(suspenseful music) - This acting is awful. - Smallpox was eradicated
over 30 years ago. - So were Hush Puppies,
have you checked out your local hipster coffee shop lately? - Smallpox doesn't
exist outside of P4 labs and bio-weapons plants. - So that's actually true. I believe there's only four labs, or four locations in the world, that have samples of smallpox
still available for testing, because we felt like there would still be worthwhile evidence that we can collect from how this virus spreads,
how we can eradicate it. We've limited because of
the fear of bio-terrorism. - She was in Bermuda.
- Or she was scuba diving on the wreck of a Dutch slave ship that had been intentionally sunk because an epidemic of smallpox
had broken out on board. - House always presents himself to know these just absurd things. How does he know that she
was in this shipwreck? I want to be in the room where he's questioning his patients. When a patient comes into my office and they have high fever or vomiting, I don't ask if they've been
on a pirate ship lately. I just can't imagine how he extracts that bit of information. - Thanks for calling back. Listen, I'm a screenwriter, and
is it theoretically possible for smallpox to survive
for more than 200 years underwater in a sealed glass jar? - [CDC Doctor] Well,
theoretically yes, but-- - Thank you.
(phone clicks) - Can you imagine, you just call the CDC and ask random questions like that? - Isolate, get baseline
blood draws for smallpox, antibodies, and vaccinate
the entire family. - Okay, first of all, I
can't imagine what lab is gonna do smallpox testing nowadays. It has to be a send-in test to Atlanta, where the CDC headquarters are. I don't have tests for that in my office. Especially on my Epic, the
electronic medical record, I think if I put in
smallpox there's gonna be some major alert to tell
me to contact the CDC. - We should test for the
21st century suspects. Varicella, measles. - You're free to perform
whatever unnecessary tests you want, Foreman.
- In all honesty, Foreman here is 100,000% correct. (bell dings) If a young woman presents to the office with high fever, vomiting
and bloodshot eyes, you should rule out everything
that it's most likely to be. Well, first, anything that's
most likely to be deadly. Smallpox should be way, way, way low on the list of differential diagnoses. When I think about that old-school saying, when you hear hoof beats
you should think horses, not zebras, because thinking about zebras, you'll miss some pretty
important cases that are easily treatable, like the
influenza virus, like measles. (door hisses) - Why the hell do you guys
have us quarantined in here? - We're just taking every precaution. - Against what? - So I think this is a
great time to explain the difference between
isolation and quarantine. Isolation is when you
take someone who is sick, and diagnosed sick with a
specific virus or bacteria, and you keep them isolated
from other people. There's different forms of isolation, droplet, airborne, contact, what have you. Then, if you're wondering if someone has potentially been exposed by something, they may or may not be sick, they can be held in
quarantine, not isolation. That's what I'm doing here,
I'm technically in quarantine, 'cause I'm not sick, I may
or may not become sick, but that's what we're all
doing, social distancing. - That does not look like tetanus shots. - It's really not worth going into because the odds are astronomical. - Tell me. (suspenseful music) - Again, it's--
- Smallpox. - Smallpox? - That would've been really
awesome if she'd just said, "You know what you should do? "You should stay alert, not anxious." I would've been really proud of the "House, M.D." show for doing that. - Negative for varicella and measles, so all of our ideas are off the table. - Well, I'm putting mine back on. Patient's a diver. Under increased pressure,
everything in the blood gets scared, panics, runs and hides. - Antibodies could be in the joints. - Tap her knee, ankle, shoulder and any other joint in
her smallpox-ridden body. - Doing a joint aspiration to check if it is in fact smallpox
seems kind of dangerous. There are true times when you
need to do a joint aspiration, like if a patient has septic arthritis and you need to culture the joint fluid to see what antibiotics you should use, or if you're looking for gout. But just to do it on the
off-chance that she may or may not have smallpox,
that actually puts the patient at risk for septic arthritis, which is a bacterial infection of the joint. Oh no, what does he see?
- What? What is it? - I'm sorry, I have to call the CDC. - I don't know what he saw. - I think you do have smallpox. - Blisters?
- Whoa, take a look at this. - What is it? - There's a rash under
your daughter's arm. - Like more of those gross bumps? - No, it's just a regular rash. - What does that mean? - It means it's not smallpox. - I don't know why not, 'cause that still could
be a smallpox rash. House, explain it to me! - I'm Dr. Broda, head of
Infection Control, CDC, and your protective
suits are not adequate. - Turns out they don't have to be. Rash under the arm
means it's not smallpox. False alarm, sorry. Hope the traffic wasn't too bad. - Rash is consistent with smallpox. - Not if it presents after pustules. - She's probably just
allergic to the bedsheets or the hospital gown and
you simply didn't notice it. We're gonna airlift blood and
tissue samples to Atlanta. We'll have the DNA results in 18 hours. In the meantime, please
step out of the room. - It's funny I find myself
agreeing with the CDC doctor more than I am with Dr. House, but I know it's probably to my demise. (eerie music) - Sir, are you feeling all right in there? - It's just a headache! - Oh no, his eyes. - Baby. Baby! - [Dad] Oh my god. - Dad, you're bleeding! - Somebody, please! Get in here now! - Is this Ebola? Is this Ebola? - Why have they stopped? - You can't go out there. - Why did you stop? - Get out of the hallway! - He does not have smallpox. - Yes, he does. - It itches! - He's just developed pustules. He's now too dangerous to transport. - The virus that causes
smallpox is called variola. And before we had vaccinations
we used to do variolation, where you take a piece of the
pustule that people develop and you introduce it to somebody
in order to inoculate them, meaning to get their immune system ready to fact the real smallpox. That wasn't as good as the
vaccines we have today, because you actually got sick
with smallpox at that case. However, your case wasn't as bad as those who caught it naturally. So this was a way to get sick, but not as sick as everyone else. It was only until we
got the smallpox vaccine where we were truly able to eradicate smallpox from the world. - Uh-uh, wait. The soles of your feet,
there aren't any lesions. - No pustules on the daughter's palms, so? - So therefore your theory is you asked me to take the dad's blood but I accidentally
injected him with smallpox. - Exactly. Although technically it
was the vaccinia virus, which is what the smallpox
vaccine is made from. Same symptoms as smallpox,
but only half the calories and almost none of the lethality. - You sound like one of
those anti-vaccine cranks. You can't develop full-blown symptoms from the vaccine this quickly. - You can if you're immunocompromised. Am I the only one who reads these things? Dad had kidney cancer.
- Six years ago. He's been in remission.
- Well, it's obviously back. - I swear, House just walks around and throws diagnoses on
everyone that could be possible. And I feel like he does
this so inaccurately, that he has such a low success
rate, it doesn't matter, 'cause at the end of the day, each time he gets proven wrong, he'll
figure out something else that he can throw out
there, and he'll be right. Not a fan of this approach,
not very realistic. - You got any proof the
kidney cancer's back? - Well, let me give him this. When he gets better that'll
be the proof you need. I'll put on one of your fancy spacesuits and I promise I won't
kiss him on an open sore. - You know who Janet Parker is? - That's the last person
who died of smallpox! - In 1978 she was working
in a university in England. Someone in a research lab
on a floor below screwed up. Some smallpox virus managed
to float up through the vents, into the room where she was working. She died four days later. Last known person to die from smallpox. And the person in charge
of the lab was so destroyed he killed himself.
- Wow. Didn't know all that.
- Now that he's shedding, I can't open that door for anyone. - When he says, "Now that he's shedding," he's talking about the pustules. That is the most infectious
stage of smallpox, so you don't want to be
anywhere near a person if they truly do have it. - Hey!
- Oh no, House! (lock beeps) - [Broda] Hey! - This is textbook smallpox. DDXing at this point, it
isn't gonna make a difference. - Don't say that.
- I'm sorry. House, you screwed up going in there. (EKG screeching)
(somber music) - Chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions. Even House fails us with
the chest compressions. He's starting to get
the defibrillator ready instead of doing chest compressions. I know he's out by himself, but still. And I'm pretty sure the rhythm I saw pop up there was flatline. You don't shock flatline either, House. You know better than that.
- Did the cat get sick? - [Chris] Smallpox is exclusive to humans. - Is this toxoplasmosis?
- Captains didn't have pets. Nothing and nobody went on those ships if it didn't have a purpose.
- Hunting mice and rats? - For the crew, the hold was
probably infested with mice. What if that's the difference? - What happened to Hairrot? - Aw! - Is that a sad aw or a cute aw? - It said that he dies, it's a sad aw. - Before he died, did he lose his fur? - How did you know? - Mice don't carry smallpox, but they do carry rickettsialpox. - My knowledge of rickettsialpox
is not up to date. - Rickettsialpox is mild, self-limited, zoonotic febrile illness characterized by eschar formation at the
location of a mite bite, following the onset of systemic symptoms and a more generalized
papulovesicular rash. Rickettsialpox occurs
primarily in urban areas, where density of mites,
mice and humans is high. They named it in 1946 in New
York City, shout out NYC. In about 2007 there's
been 14 cases reported. Approximately 1.7 cases
per million people. That's why I haven't seen it. - At least look at the dad's body. Small patches of black dead
tissue will prove I'm right. Eschars appear with rickettsialpox,
but not with smallpox. - If he had developed
eschars I would've noticed. (suspenseful music) - Eschar! Eschars. - Eschar's just dead tissue on the body. You frequently see it with abscesses, meaning when someone has
a pocket of infection. But it's very common,
appearing of where a patient was bitten by a mite in R-pox. - Start the girl on doxycycline right now. (door hisses) - I still wouldn't take
off my gear like that! Oh my god, just 'cause he saw, that eschar coulda been
caused by anything. My god, this is ridiculous. Infection control people,
this would never happen in any hospital, ever, ever, ever. If this truly happened in
this manner in a hospital, House would still be kept under quarantine just in case he didn't have
another infectious condition. Because god forbid you
let him out too early, and now he's walking around infecting all the future patients he
sees and his colleagues. No way. No, no way. If you're a fan of "House,
M.D.," I put together a playlist of my "House, M.D."
reviews, there's been a few. I also have a bunch of others,
so search them on my channel, Doctor Mike with your favorite show, or Doctor Mike with a medical condition. The results will pop up and surprise you. I'm curious where you're
going, to be happy and healthy.
Can we get a Doctor Mike reacts to r/doctormike?
Chest compression/chest compression/chest compression by AED.📟🚑