D&D Players, What is the absolute dumbest backstory you've ever heard from a character? #1

hello my sweet friends it is so nice to be back from my davecation that's right it is i dave makes noises and today we want to know what is the absolute dumbest backstory you've ever heard from a character part one the most ridiculous backstory i came across is from a gloom stalker conclave ranger named delilah apparently delilah had this nice hobby of taking night poops in the woods in the dead of night calling it a peaceful and serene experience but when she kept getting nearly mauled by panthers every time she went out at night she was all like well i guess i better learn magic that lets me take my knight poops in peace which leads her to take a two year long journey to find a gloom stalker conclave and teach her their ways fellow dm missed a session and asked if i would stand in for him knowing i knew curse of strawd inside out while filling in for him a player asks to have a sidebar where he goes over his backstory that the dm hadn't touched on and he was wondering if it might be relevant given where they currently are he explains how his character is a god from another material plane and he's just traveling the plains masquerading as a mortal for fun more than that he created the material plane he was from and is more powerful than any other deity he wanted to display his godly powers by just straight up destroying the vestiges in the amber temple i uh told him i wasn't really comfortable handling such a situation as just the substitute dm he was surprisingly cool with that it was a weird session i put out an ad for a game looking for four level one players only official sources allowed a guy applied with a level 20 home brew race he was literally bahamut that could change any dice roll to a natural 20 at will then gave me a 20 page backstory that was basically he was involved in every major event in history and a final paragraph about how his character is guarding over the other pcs so it should make perfect sense while a level 20 pc is traveling with a bunch of level ones so i have to accept him i'm a multi-class paladin warlock and i play my god and patron against one another because i'm smarter than both of them i had a sorcerer who got kicked by a donkey flew into the air and then threw a feywild portal in a tree abdul thundercock the minotaur was born fully grown immediately obliterating his mother grief stricken he now searches the world to find out why his birth was so odd i had a cleric who became a war cleric by accident because she had a habit of talking to the stars at night and one night mars spoke back okay from a homebrew superhero rpg intended to be absurd one of the characters had been struck by lightning while watching a godzilla movie and had all the powers of godzilla but it was a crappy little 12 inch black and white tv so his godzilla form was one foot tall my very good friend who was a smart ass and thinks he is clever but i can read him like an open book did essentially this his expected free bonuses will be in the brackets super renowned pirate expected free intimidation or fear in enemies got screwed over by a curse and lost all of it owned his own legendary ship and crew in the past expected to have an unbeatable legendary magical ship once backstory finished secretly died but his sheer will brought him back to get his stolen [ __ ] back either expected to be a revenant or a straight-up self-resurrection and as usual my question to this is okay and all of this as a level one rogue you're insane girl lost her favorite toothbrush she was looking for it she also lost her glasses feeling around blindly she picked up what she thought was her toothbrush it was actually a loot so she became a bard that's my favorite one hexblade whose weapon had a long convoluted backstory about how many generations it's been passed down and how many dragons gods and other powerful creatures it had killed the actual character who would be using the sword was basically i don't know i had a player take the pirate background and say he was a land pirate his dad was a pirate and he was raised to be one but refused to go out on the water and became an adventurer i think he had an open water phobia i trolled one dm by writing for a level one character about four pages of amazing heroic exploits dragon slain maiden's rescue treasures looted and then the last paragraph was basically my character is that dude's brother and is real sick of his mom asking why he can't be a hero like his brother i once dm'd for a new group of first-time players all of which came up with pretty straightforward backstories except for one they elected to make a dragonborn cleric named humpathampa named after their favorite things humping and thumping who was raised by snakes and believed they were a snake until they got surprised by an attractive woman and stood up realizing they had legs the entire time they then became a cleric of thighs who dedicated themselves to worshiping thighs no idea how these totally incongruent things were supposed to work together or what the hell they were thinking they didn't make it past session zero i have my own gothic horror setting i created a few years back after giving them all the info about it all of the players turned up with something on brand a blood hunter lycanthrope a righteous cleric looking to tip the scales on the side of good a mad scientist artificer searching for the key to re-animations and this one dude literally turned up with a cowboy who was plunged through a wormhole and is now not only in the wrong dimension but the wrong time as well and is trying to quantum leap his way back i've had a couple of surprise one shots before and have as a result had some very silly backstories my absolute favorite though is mistress small mr small was a normal halfling arcane trickster but she eventually discovered a teacher who was willing to teach her the ancient art of rune scribes she got all the way to rogue 5 rune scribe 5 before she was betrayed by her former teacher now paranoid that she'd become a better scribe than he was he used an ancient pact to strip her of her knowledge and power the equivalent of losing five levels but she happened to lose the five levels of rogue she had leaving her as a pure rune scribe who still met the requirements to take the class because she was level 5. the one shot was completely insane and she was just the icing on the proverbial cake but it's still the dumbest backstory i've seen in a game thus far character who was the god of war naturally as the god of war he enjoyed fighting but because he was a god it also made fighting completely boring being both immortal and super op so he hatched a plan to remove his power and make himself mortal essentially turning himself into an average human so he could experience the thrill of combat again actually made for a pretty fun character when the cleric communed with his god the ex-god of war would jump in and join the conversation because he was friends with both of them this is actually the backstory for a character of mine torto from a pacifist tribe in the swamp stubs his toe one day and flies into a rage becoming a barbarian is exiled until his anger issues are dealt with decided to head to baldur's gate for anger management therapy but ended up in hell i've forgotten some of the details but in a superhero game a friend of mine's character was at a nascar race and something happened the part i forgot and all the people in the crowd were magically fused into one super redneck he also had an adamantium chainsaw on a chain mine is a rogue who used to be a farmer his stats are sub 60 with a 14 in decks the back story was that one drunken day when his farm had a bad harvest he stumbled and fell on his head when he woke up he had no memory of being a farmer and thought he was a super spy that the bard was talking about now he is in search of the command center to learn his next mission somehow he is still alive with 18 health at level 5. not dumb but weirdest and most amusing cabbage the garden gnome he was a gardener who tended the town's hedges but kept getting attacked by roving monsters he learned to fight them off with his giant sheers and eventually swore an oath of the ancients and became a paladin looked every bit the stereotypical garden gnome with long white beard and red cap this ended up being weirdly appropriate since the party's first mission was to stop a bunch of blights attacking a town edit forgot the best part his catch phrase was snip snip [ __ ] i cannot even remember all the details because this story was so pointlessly convoluted that it was almost a parody except the player took it seriously character was a multi-class paladin hex blade she originated in our real world in cuba during the mid mid-1700s so new and used flintlock pistols pistols did not exist in this campaign world so she had to convince the dm that she could craft ammo somehow she originally operated in cuba as a pirate who was also a devout christian minister she was somehow cursed and sent to our campaign's d d world where christianity doesn't exist so she was angry at christianity failing her and railed against the false promise of christ because he never existed in this world also she was somehow connected to the d d campaign world's versions of romani somehow even though she was transported to an alternate universe she still had this connection also she was the aunt of one of the other player's characters who was not from real world cuba i cannot remember how this made sense and there was further backstory of her niece growing up abused by her parents some of this is creative and could be interesting but there was far far more to this confusing backstory and thing is no one in d d world knew about christ or christianity so it had no bearing on the world tldr an overly detailed convoluted backstory that tied in pointlessly with another player character none of us could keep track of what was going on between them but both players would roleplay these weird stories between each other it's not a real horror story but it was just very odd and we scratched our heads about it more than a few times i guess i've mostly played with people who use much more sensible backstories i appreciate interesting backstories but i firmly believe at a first session or session zero that the story should be summed up by a few sentences and that every person at the table should be able to get it and not their heads you can always add more details later but start off with an elevator pitch that people can process my sweet spring chickens and thank you for hanging in there until the very end of this video if you've got a dumb backstory you'd like to share with the community please feel free to do so in the comments section of this video if you've got another story you'd like to share with us please join us over on our official subreddit r mr ripper where we source most of the stories for videos just like this one if you're a dm or a player and you're looking for a group to play with we have a lovely discord server with your name on it well ripper's name on it that was purpose built to help you find a group of friends to start playing d and d with i hope this week that you try to take a step back breathe mindfully and then step back in thank you again for watching i'm dave makes noises you can find me in places doing stuff please sub for nat 20s ding that dong for a buff to your charisma we love you here at rip daddy's house and we'll see you next time you

Channel: MrRipper

Views: 20,530

Rating: 4.97193 out of 5

Keywords: MrRipper, Dungeons and Dragons, dnd stories, reddit stories, please sub for nat 20s, BBEG, dnd encounters, askreddit, r/askreddit, tabletop games, tabletop simulator d&d, dnd, dungeons and dragons, dnd 5e, dnd stories reddit, dnd campaigns, dungeon master screen, tabletop rpg games, reddit tales, dungeons and dragons how to play, family friendly gaming, ask reddit videos, homebrew, reddit funny compilation, dnd 5e character creation, dm tips dnd 5e, dungeon master 2

Id: WZbSxmlGStk

Length: 10min 51sec (651 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 02 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/DisciplineRoyal3707]

After opening my mouth about how much I like creating weird backstories for weird characters I was challenge to make a cringe character concept not sound stupid. So the character I was given was a Kenku bard whos wanted their goal to be seducing a dragon. Original idea I know (rolls eyes). I forget the character's name so well call them Jingle, so here goes.

The Kenku people have a flaw in their history, being as there is no written language they don't have a written history either relying on the their verbal language, their legacy is passed through story and legend. The Kenku have a favorite tale they pass on, that there is a magical sound that can harness the raw power their greatest arcane practitioners use. The sound of a creatures of the beginning of magic in pure bliss. (I'm sure you can see where this is going...)

The sound of a dragon's climax is that sound and there has been passed down through legend as a forbidden noise of immense power, and no Kenku has been brave (dumb?) enough to attempt to seduce a dragon to have a chance to hear this noise.

Well meet Jingle the bard who didn't do great in school and was always a bit of a daydreamer, frowned upon by all of her mentor who told her shed be nothing and go nowhere. She's out to prove them wrong and find this mystical sound to bring back to her people making the Kenkus one of the most powerful races and her a hero amongst her people.

I'm sorry and you're welcome.