Dance Off: Erect Santa Sits Down

who would like to earn some money [Applause] can i can i say something by the way hold on one second hold on hold on while you guys are pointing can i say one thing can i ask you a question why did you trail off like you jumped off a cliff you were like i wanna be a stripper [Applause] i was like did somebody push her off of a [ __ ] what the [ __ ] oh okay whatever but wait a second okay so the question still [ __ ] remains why did you why were you like uh okay so we need three people from three different hold on i i need someone who's going first of all it can't be all women i need at least one dude come on santa he just he just ho ho ho'd so all right santa who else who want do you want to come on up here come on arkansas hey don't drop out any kids while you're up here all right [Applause] are you coming up bro we need i need one more i need one more all right come on come on you're up here all right so here's what we're going to do can you just push that stuff to the back my man here's what we're going to it's hard to see right so here's what we're going to do guys we're going to have you come up um you're all going to stand behind me and this is you're going to do interpretive dance to us this song now this is not who's the best dancer this is who feels the music in the lyrics and shows that now what before we do that we're going to eat meet each one of you so santa come up here first i got three questions for all of you and then um okay santa this is fine right here let me ask you a question so we gonna refer to 42 nope uh are we going to refer to you as santa's are you any sure okay so your name is santa santa i need and remember these questions i need to know on a scale of one to ten one being elaine from seinfeld and 12. hold on one second shut the [ __ ] up and remember that you're not funny you're going on the nutty list santa santa dude i just need you to answer the questions okay all right here we go on a scale of that [ __ ] this on a scale of zero to ten zero being elaine from seinfeld 10 being michael jackson pre-pedophile oh too soon sorry all right uh how do you rate yourself as a dancer [Music] what are the odds that i'm talking to you when i'm looking at him four four okay you know i like this i like this strategy because you know i think you're gonna for us but you're gonna come out a strong seven and people are gonna be like all right santa's shaking that sack all right here we go all right now two more questions remember these questions in one word how would you describe your dancing athletic sexy like one word how would you describe it naughty oh all right and last one santa last one what is the name of your best dance move the candy cane that's a [ __ ] really good one dude give me the mic that's your [ __ ] you better figure out a candy cane before you start dancing bro so we let children remind each other this is santa santa's a solid four he dances naughty and his best move is the [ __ ] candy cane which i assume is your best move too so all right come on up here arkansas what's your name ashley ashley yes of course it is what does that mean ashley on a scale of one to ten how would you rate yourself as a dancer an eight an eight i think the same amount of kids as she is a dancer every kid her store went up two is the difference three is the dancer i'm a better dancer four five so man you have two more kids you're gonna be a [ __ ] you're gonna be chris brown up here all right okay so ashley is an eight ashley give me one word to describe your dance style drop it drop it oh i'll take it we'll hyphenate that but ashley don't disappoint us by the way ashley wait wait a second one last what is the name of your best dance move remember these questions anything you can think of anything yes booty shake booty shake all right there you go all right by the way amanda i think all of us are scared of you doing this one time so don't do the dropping up here because no i meant i just i didn't want a baby to fall out come on up here young lady what is your name carolina carolina carolina on a scale of one to ten santa's a four ashley's an eight what would you consider yourself as a dancer i'm gonna go with a five a five yo she's under underselling herself isn't she she's good she's gonna come out smoking i know all right okay carolina give me one word you would use to describe your dance style miscellaneous miscellaneous it all depends on the drink let me tell you something by the way i had one guy his name was i go he was a bro he came up here he was dancing around like i just been called on the [ __ ] price is right and he was like i think what's your name man is clint i go clinton right yourself as a dancer he goes four i go what's word i go what's one word to describe your dance style he goes aggressive [Applause] he was right he was [ __ ] aggressive as [ __ ] right carolina you are a five i mean as a dancer and what would you say that one word is miscellaneous and tell me your best dance move salsa salsa okay now here's what we're going to do everybody uh there are just so you know two rounds to this do you want to hear the song you'll be dancing to do not dance yet don't show everybody your moves but you just want to hear them remember you're feeling the music you're feeling it's not who's the best dancer it's who feels it the most we're gonna go one at a time santa you're gonna go first but not yet don't do don't do that you're making me nervous oh by the way there are a couple rules where i need to start first rule no touching me i had to make that rule after the first time we did this i was like i had about nine bowls on my leg so no touching me no touching each other no props no picking up anything on the stage you can touch yourself all you want santa i think we all kind of expected that was gonna happen um okay this is the song santa don't dance yet okay [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right not yet you're good all right all right so you're gonna come out one at a time i'm just gonna play that first verse santa now listen don't you know don't drop the sack on the first time you know you don't want to blow you save a little bit because you might be into the second round that goes by although it goes by audience vote so i think you got no shot but here we go you ready get it get it man ready [Music] did he just [ __ ] [Applause] is he just gonna bust out some new kids on the block moves [ __ ] [ __ ] we may have underestimated santa only a form all right but now you're already an eight standing like that man all right ready all right ready [Music] when [Music] [Applause] all right santa now look ashley you don't have to do that you can be ethereal just feel what does this music mean to you listen there's a lot to do after that but let me ask you something when you say i don't know what to do after that does that mean he stole the moves you were gonna do oh okay so that's listen just feel the music let me tell you something i want to say something right now to all three of you and i mean this from the bottom of my heart man i stand up on these stages every night the the balls it took for the three of you to come up here i just want you know how much i i want you to know honestly how much respect i have for that i know what it takes to come up here you and you guys are coming up here you didn't come to the show like i'm gonna be on stage tonight you know dancing to the back street boys you know so let me just take it somewhere now have you ever done anything like this before no [ __ ] win already i'm telling you right now this is a [ __ ] win for you already i and i will tell you something else they like you it does they like you all right so just [Applause] arkansas is right somebody throw their teeth up here make her feel better [Applause] are you ready okay we love you you're the best here we go okay that's the best part do you think he knew what he was doing not until the end then you knew what you were doing all right here we go [Applause] you ready you ready [Music] she's right your friend is right let me tell you something right now what a [ __ ] story this is going to be kick these people on the [ __ ] nuts ashley here we go [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i want it that way [Applause] ashley i'm not gonna lie to you that certainly felt like a i've never done this before [Applause] [Applause] [Laughter] you [ __ ] nailed that [Applause] young lady carolina great job carolina come on up here now listen a5 miscellaneous we just had this conversation i'm telling you it's now i will tell you this i'm gonna whisper something to you okay [Applause] i don't know what she said but it tickled when she whispered in my ear i was like okay [Laughter] all right you ready do you want the you want to change sides all right do i need to move that water [Applause] shit's about to get real you ready [Music] when i santa has a heart on [Applause] santa came in his pants santa's dick's name is rudon all right everybody now it's time by the way where are you at [ __ ] yeah all right now listen now is the time where we narrow it down to two and then when we do two they both dance at the same time and it's up to you guys to vote so i'm gonna point to them and you're gonna by crowd response you're gonna tell me how you thought they did santa [Applause] all right i'm guessing i know how this is going to go ashley hey thank you so much brother i really appreciate it so much santa everybody come on one time for this dude and let me tell you something man about you specifically dude one of the reasons i asked you to go first is because look i knew that you would just give it and they needed to everybody needed to see that it was all right so thank you so much dude i appreciate you coming up and putting your balls out here but i appreciate you not putting your balls out here you know what i mean ladies now is the time miscellaneous salsa drop it booty shaker now might be the time to bring out your special moves i will play the song for as long as i can remember how the song goes you guys will dance it out and then the winner will earn their server some money from me [Music] [Applause] and then oh hold on one second i i um i didn't always sell merch but um we bought a house so much well let me just do this real quick so i have some of the old school i like weird [ __ ] shirts [Applause] i probably didn't need to show you that one um and uh the new the new ones these are the new one [Music] i i have a couple of the high life shirts left and then um these are just the shirts that i these are just what i like to this is how i like to live so i bring these wherever i go uh and these i got these in a couple different ways all right all right so uh yeah yeah you guys definitely know all right let me take a drink of this are you guys ready yeah you guys ready [Applause] here we go remember you can touch each other as long as you get consent it's 20 21. i don't have any consent forms up here but we'll take some mental consent [Music] okay here we go you guys ready [Music] i i can't speak to your [Music] tell me why [Music] [Applause] away it seemed like they got a little too nice to each other at the end yeah all right so listen listen by the way let him hear it one time that was [ __ ] great and now now and so carolina who was your server ricky ashley who's your server who's your sir brendan it's a girl okay is her name brandon okay so andrea and ricky all right okay so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna vote again this is ricky this is andrea [Music] [Laughter] [Music] we'll give them both money ashley and carolina everybody then i'm here one time [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Josh Wolf

Views: 51,462

Keywords: Josh Wolf, comedy, stand-up, stand up, stand-up comedy, stand up comedy, comedy clips, comedy show, comedian, funny, laugh, father, son, weird, comedy special, best comedian, funniest comedian, top comedian, Santa, dance

Id: D-goDMUJlgo

Length: 21min 45sec (1305 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 20 2021