Cuomo's Sex-Drive Needs a Quarantine ft. Yannis Pappas | Flagrant 2 w/ Andrew Schulz & Akaash Singh

[Music] what's up everybody today on flagrant two we're talking about china penetrating american booty holes governor cuomo has cases rising in new york and they're not from covid we got mr potato head who's officially [ __ ] potato head and janice pappas tells us why the history hyenas broke up also we got some other [ __ ] anyway let's just start the show what's up everybody welcome to flaker 2 is your boy chelsea i'm here with alex media mark gagnon and we got a special guest in the building i don't even know how to introduce you anymore man it's heartbreaking what has happened it's heartbreaking bro yeah i am uh well let me introduce you first yeah it's making the days a little longer the days are so long yeah they're super long jani yes is that what you're going for yeah glad we got that [Laughter] no we have giannis papa's in the house man we have one half of the um the old history hyenas podcast man no longer here that's right totally gone that's right we tried to salvage it yes yeah a lot of people don't know this yeah now there's some people listening right now who might not know about the uh history hyenas podcast very funny podcast with giannis pappas and christa stefano amazing run we had a good run successful patreon very successful very successful patreon akash gets corona yes i really take the [ __ ] down yes knowingly infects you yes no no no no no he does it no he does it i thought we were yesterday no we're not yet we're setting you up i know i know akash comes in and gives half of the new york comedy scene corona which is great yeah because chris was sitting right next to you and he didn't get it chris has had every virus yeah you know that there's just not enough room for any more in there it's like the virus came in it's like a crowded elevator it's like i'll take the next one it's like there's syphilis in there gonorrhea is like there's no room for it so you get corona and you had it bad i had a bad one it was really bad yeah real bad i had it bad like alex had a bad no no no no no no no don't do that you had it very i had it very good you had it like hasidic level yeah no it was trying to god was trying to whack me yeah that's what it felt like and i also tried to do it you talked a lot of [ __ ] about him i don't blame him yeah yeah you're [ __ ] that guy no i got shot i [ __ ] he's trying to kill me dude i got struck by lightning the history of broke up he's trying to kill me he just wants you to pray once that's true i'm a death man in him bro i'll become saving you dude i think it's because i'm not muslim i think they figured it out and we should all convert and that's what corona is here to tell us it's here to tell us it's time to convert mohammed was the way it is taking out a lot of jihoos yes it's taking out a lot of fat people the jewish community first yeah oh my god you could be on to something here are you ready to convert to islam i am ready say it right now you just have to say those i am ready to commit to islam as long as the deal is still there that i get eight wives and plenty of [ __ ] in heaven i'm down in fact libertarians should be back in this like let religions into the free market they have wait are you libertarian no but i'm just saying like that should be an argument that they make is like if you're into the free market yeah yeah islam is i hate how much the libertarians know about [ __ ] say again i hate how much they know about you because it reminds me of you no it's just annoying because i'll be like nah that [ __ ] don't make any sense so like well technically i gotta really know things for this discussion [ __ ] yeah so much easier when you're like the left and the right are back feelings not factors that's why we feel it's not fact dude that's all libertarians are there's a bunch of ben shapiro he's happening about the free market yeah if the left and right had a basketball game shirts and skins it would be feelings and facts and it would be facts for the republicans and feelings right okay shirts and skins of politics listen we're not getting away from your accusational outcomes and then it attacked your brain a little bit it well i think you know no i attacked your voice you sound like marlon brando every time i call you he did go shows i was like send a nurse someone left a horse's head in my bed yeah and i wasn't even at home i was alone i was i was quarantined at our studio and there's no place to walk or anything there's just like why was i trying to send a thing to no at that point i was in a oh there's a whole story and then i was in a hotel in westchester i was all over the place then i was in i was in verzi's house for a night then i called another ambulance and i went to the hospital again and then i went to a hotel and then they found out i almost killed this guy then i was in my basement and i was in the back i was in like there was like there was like levels to my recovery at what point did you were you so frustrated with your corona experience that you felt like it was the right idea to call joe rogan and say that akash knowingly gave you corruption and before were you so upset that you couldn't see your brand new baby and you said [ __ ] it i'm killing this guy's career yeah no it was we were texting i think it's great that he knows who you are now you're right i could have never done that it's not like he listens to the pottery and i fixed it he goes yeah of course i fixed it well you fix it first and then i barely remembered it no but i mean i texted him i got everybody calling me oh is it true that akash knowingly gave colin quinn corona i'm like how did it skip janice the story just kept on building every new person i talked to i heard that giannis woke calling up at night and that night jonathan woke on up at night was sneezing in his mouth and he was trying to take out colin quick yeah dude it was real serious yeah accusations mounting up yeah [ __ ] quarantine just getting occasional every time i'm like i look man it's okay i didn't give this [ __ ] to anybody knowingly like it's fine everybody's gonna be okay i will get a text like yo rogan thinks you gave this [ __ ] to everybody on purpose every time roman told a lot of people rogan messaged me rogan is a lot of people he's all the people but rogan messaged me and i was like hold on i gotta get to the bottom of this and then people were too like maybe they're too like nervous or something to tell me but they're they when any comics would talk to me about they're like yeah i heard giannis went on like some brooklyn podcast or something like that and then uh yeah he got it and like gave it to everybody oh my god that's a brooklyn podcast i think we're a brooklyn podcast yeah we are the shit's changed guys we're out here were you matt were you mad at all when you got it no i was mad when you told them that akash knowingly gave it to people when i got i was i didn't say he i i didn't say knowingly i said because you had texted me something don't you dare [ __ ] moonwalk out of this no i'm not moving away i've already apologized for it but at some point you told me right you go like you said like hey i wasn't feeling well and then i went and got tested and yeah yeah after the yeah and then once you start tripping on like a 102 fever and i was texting with it it's in your brain and yeah one or two not that high to be honest with you i you before you said 102 i was like this guy was dying 102. i'd be getting that every four days yeah i've never got a 101 right now i don't know if i've ever had a hundred two you never had 100 what was the voice thing what was that about i don't know i called it it sounded like you were being strange yeah i don't dude i i don't i don't remember a lot of it it was just like i was sitting there i wasn't sleeping i couldn't sleep my heart was racing my sodium levels were dropping i was vomiting diarrhea and so rogan messaged me and uh it was tongue-in-cheek i was kind of like yeah i was like how did you get i was like i was like yeah i want to blow up india and uh which i do in his defense if somebody said i want to blow up india i would know it's a joke text also also i was set to do rogan while he was still on youtube so i had to postpone that i was like [ __ ] but i had no idea that it was gonna you know i had no idea i was saying something serious that was gonna end up affecting akash yeah my career career is over now yeah no my career's over okay so so then you come out of corona right yeah and and then you immediately sabotage the history hyena you're like i couldn't have killed flagrant too i gotta kill some podcasts my own let's make this happen no what happened what happened with hyenas not true at all uh yeah we we give me some pc [ __ ] no we haven't wanted to run we had a good non answer no i'm starting i'm starting very polished yeah we had a good yeah three-year run it was a lot of fun i'm surprised we made it as long as we made it with how chaotic it is and you know how different uh our philosophies are and stuff but we had we had a great time we're great friends he's moving on to other stuff yeah i have long days which is i'm very excited about it's fun i'm working with jesse again my my old friend we did you know that we yeah we created all the characters and did ditch films with so that's fun and it just came to a point where it just got too hectic and instead of like sacrificing the quality of the podcast we just decided hey let's just do other things and who knows what happens in the future so let's rate um that media train response guys what do you guys think it's not hyenas it wasn't hyenas it wasn't in the spirit of hyenas buddy let it rip yeah i think you got a little bit dude there's nothing to let rip that's it that was it that's it nothing else that's it that's it it got chaotic i could just say it got chaotic i mean they were making good money on on patreon but they had to walk away from that good money i was getting money if you think i'd ever walk away that's that was the only thing i had going so it's like i'm not walking away from that but then you did yeah i mean you know wait are you saying you said wait a minute [Music] [Laughter] is that what you're trying to say i'm not saying it wasn't it was a mutual decision we came to a point you know when you just literally agreed you know chris was going to make the decision do you know when you get to a point where you just know it's time it's just no you never got to that point nope i've stayed in relationships way too much [Laughter] there gets to a point like some relationships are made to go the distance yeah and some of them are like you know the ones you really like the webbing webbing yeah like you guys yeah yeah yeah you guys are going the distance yeah yeah it's love yeah it's work though yeah it is work it takes work it takes work it takes communication even with my wife we're going to be together forever it takes work takes communication and maybe um what was lacking in the hyenas it was the work there was the communication there was probably dig in but i've already almost killed you once so i don't know if i want to go but i really want to because we're we're [ __ ] responders like we sniff it out like yeah without money yeah we sniff out [ __ ] yeah so our instinct is to dig in and yeah the truth yeah because we love both of you guys yeah truly and let the record show you know akash and i had a conversation yeah and it was basically how do we save hyenas i i yeah legit texted him like so we thought you know and i called you and i called chrissy and i was like why don't we try to save this maybe we could talk this out maybe we could work through this it's a fun podcast everybody in the community seems to enjoy it yes i don't think you guys were close to where you could have gone i think you were very popular within the comedy community and within like the comedy adjacent community but you hadn't reached that you know casual level where like even the casuals know about it so i saw a lot more growth for it and oh gosh i'm like yo let's step in here you know let's see if we can use a little bit of goodwill and muscle and make this thing happen and then both of you guys were stuck in your family great chemistry is rare i think yeah you guys had it yeah great chemistry and that's where i was also like aside from loving them individually together great chemistry is so rare i always want to preserve that as mine we have to make chrissy's show bomb on tv so he has to come back and do i think tv will do that for you but we can help should we do it should we try to drive the ratings down far enough i think the only we have to remove everything from chrissy's life where he has to come back to you yeah i think if akash can get corona and give it to chrissy and then we can even it out even blink we can do this yes i can do that if not mark mark will get it yeah we need a carrier and it takes a lot it's going to take a lot to give it to him very resistant what would have kept it going what would have kept the show going is there is there a thing maybe i think what did you need to keep it going um good question what i do first i do for a living wrong when you write simple as that i uh you know my history i come from the internet yeah i feel like that i'm dedicated to i'm dedicated to the thing that you guys are doing right here yeah what i'm dedicated to i spent three years completely focused and dedicated to that so it's like i think i know where i made my mistake because when i strayed from that how'd you stray i just started you know i wanted to get the half hour for hyenas he's saying he had a great shoe i took a show down here in miami for a year that went nowhere i took aol two-point lead which was great money and i was interviewing athletes you were looking for the industry to validate i was looking yeah i was doing that i was you know me and nate we're friends it was don't do that don't it just doesn't do that i'm gonna buy a ferrari yeah but i recommend you not doing that no it's you 348 but you might get the 355 you did it who knows by building this yeah and then doing it on your terms foreign but don't [ __ ] with the corporations yeah no that works networks are horrible yeah unless you want to drive a nice car yeah i mean you know but you did it you built something first bully yes yes and then i please i tease obviously i love what you've done and i've always admired what you've done we've had these conversations yeah this time so you were committed to the internet you're committed to youtube and and did you feel like because of the opportunities chris was getting did that infringe on your guys ability to like lean into the internet no it was uh i i think uh the the focus was scattered we started the focus started going a lot of places yep and you know i don't know how much you could keep up the quality of something when the focus is all over the place gotcha yeah yeah i think that's possible you know but at the same time as you guys grow you're gonna get new opportunities yeah and we you got to take advantage of them yeah you know what i mean like i see yeah i see how you thrived on the internet and i witnessed it in real time it was like really exciting for me as like a young comic and seeing somebody like take ownership in what they did it was like super inspirational for me you know and um i'm very grateful that i got to witness it because it made me realize there was a possibility for myself to do something like that like i didn't have to [ __ ] pucker up every time i was at the cellar or pucker up at these [ __ ] stupid events so it was great um i would say it's directly responsible for your success yeah that's what i would say yeah i think i just said that yeah but you're doing you're about it i mean i would go no i was inspired by you yeah you know i mean it let me know that there was a way to do it you know 100 um and uh so i think that's great but i also think that like there are different strengths that can fit into different parts like i think chrissy i think he will flourish like if chrissy was born 10 years before he would be the biggest star on tv yes he is built for and this is not a criticism it is a compliment but he is built for an industry structure because you can put him in so many different slots and he will succeed right like very different character but you know how zach galifianakis just takes over anything he's in as himself yeah chrissy can do that with his personal but he can like i could have him host the [ __ ] bachelor and he's gonna have fun with it yeah or you could have him do uh maybe a character in a tv show like the joey character in blossom you know what i mean and like he could have those different things so it is weird that you guys are maybe being pulled in different directions but i think that the directions are being pulled in actually suit yourself yeah better totally and i think that's why it came to a natural end because why does it have to end because we were wild we were very wild we said whatever and you couldn't be as wild because you could be as well but he couldn't be as wild because he has these corporates i'm sure that's the way he felt and are you doing a podcast with sally got purse there he's got to say poop instead of [ __ ] you know what i mean so i assume is there no cursing on on the podcast itself there's no cursing on it no no cursing that i'm not allowed to do that saddest news i've heard they don't curse this whole time they don't i'll be honest i'm still impressed yeah because i never watched it and thought wow they're not cursing they don't like when i see the clips on instagram yeah i never noticed they weren't cursing yeah righteousness and ratchets yeah boys you do that that's another one righteous and ratchet they don't curse but you don't notice that they're not cursing yeah interesting so he felt a little bit conflicted he could you guys leaned into being wild and then these other things that he was doing stopped his ability to be wise i don't want to speak for him but um those two things seem like they're at odds but you're a wild boy i'm always wild i go too far all the time yes okay some point texting joe rogan texan case maurice is too much even even when i posted oh yeah which i thought was funny that was wrong yeah that's not funny at all you can't say it's not funny it's not funny yeah why is it funny there was conquerors chris nicknamed you the fuhrer and it was funny our fans thought it was funny yeah because if you just have a picture of hitler there's no conflict i get it within the comedy world he's ex-wife i am wrong this guy is racist he wants to kill me i am wrong how about that i'm wrong i make mistakes with all the time is this the weekly combo during history hyenas just i mean he was chris was known as the wild one on our shot yes so he was known as the wild one yes so he was uh we were kind of like ren and stimpy we were kind of like beats and butthead yeah you know i was like the one i was like you know thought i was smart but i'm stupid and he was just like the wild one that was like yeah yeah just kind of yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's like we were a cartoon we'd be like running stimpy or beavers but he was the wild one he was the one i constantly had to be like chris i don't know if you could say that so he was known kind of as the wild one right until you got on instagram huh no until i got on twitter and then when you're on twitter twitter yeah twitter is where i got so many like you're so verbose that is like you can't even notice i just do what i want but when you just post a picture of like schultz's hitler then the wildness is clear yeah it's just yeah that but you know i don't go into it going i'm trying to hurt children i just realized bringing this up i'm gonna have thousands of pictures the fact that we brought this up and i even give a little bit of pushback that's all it's gonna be they're gonna take every picture of me waving goodbye to somebody and throw a [ __ ] mustache on it it's gonna be bad for me but it's okay yeah so yeah you guys have this um you reach this kind of like uh impasse where yeah you can't be you he can't be him i kind of feel like it was it was headed down that's the beauty of having no success well a lot of people realize is like when you have no success you have the freedom to do anything that's right homeless people say whatever they want nobody's canceling the homeless that's a good point right they're just cursing saying the n-word screaming to people chasing chicks on the streets okay but they're homeless they've got nothing to lose what are you gonna take away from them right once you get something to lose that's where we find out who really wants to be in the game you know i mean that's one of the things that we even said on the pod where it's like if we're going to be flagrant we're flagrant whether i have a netflix special or flagrant whether akash has a tv show we have to be committed to this yeah and i understand how if he chrissy wanted to do those other things and you didn't how that could be a conflict of interest yeah but i can't blame chrissy for wanting to do those things he blames them no you can't blame anyone for anything they want to do also you guys got sorry to interrupt but like also when when people got kids kids exactly it's like it's a totally different thing you're gonna lean into the thing that puts food in your baby's mouth yeah in your decision in your situation that's continuing to be a wild boy on the internet like you do and in christie's he's probably like now this is doing these network shows where i get this guaranteed money i don't got to worry about these different things i don't know how to be any other way and so i realized and then i realized i was like i can't i can't do it the other way so why why would i even think about it ever i can't do it i've done it i don't like showing up to a studio and there's a woman waiting for me to walk me into this room and then they do makeup before i just don't like it just doesn't interest me and then i can't say this i can't say that i just you know i i want to be free to make mistakes i like to make mistakes because that's where you come up with [ __ ] yeah once you know i mean we comedians that we have like that's why tv shows don't work is because they have like a 10 success rate we have like a 90 success rate because we have to yeah because our lives depend on it and when we make one mistake they come after us and go look he made one mistake but it's really like yeah but i did 90 good ones yeah you know what if you guys just did a patreon only we discussed that and then we made the decision not to do that we we made that decision man up why are you getting back to your voice but it didn't work there was nothing we could do at this point you know that's what also sucks is you can't probably say everything because then you know chris isn't here to whatever i can't speak but then all right so i can't speak for chris i can't luckily you don't have to chris come on in come on in i don't think he legally can do this podcast anymore probably true tv was like yeah you can't do that and no i'm just kidding look everyone knows how funny chrissy cover it up cover it up but here's what i'm going to say we can't even if you can't be fully honest we can't check you on [ __ ] because all these things are there's two sides there's two sides we're getting part of one side there's two sides to the story but i also can't call you on anyone but here's what you could have done i'm in my 40s i've been alive for long enough to know that the bickering and all that stuff is pointless because when that starts to happen you just know all right this is time yeah it's time you guys are both mature enough to do that it's just time yeah time it's time we we did like seven years worth of content together with the patreon and everything you know and it's like we're two crazy comics we're chaotic comics and you know is we started to have conflicts of interest and philosophies and getting to comics to work together for that long i think the successes that we made isn't it just as two people grow you're not gonna be the same person you were seven years ago neither one you are if you are that's stupid you didn't accomplish anything but as you grow you gotta fight to get it back to the center and if in my mind i he wasn't trying to do any network [ __ ] but i understood like yo this guy is doing a ton of different things so i'll hold this down as much as i can i'll bring people in give them corona take out their podcast we will grow i'll do what i need to do you go do that yeah that's where i was thinking and i don't know the full story but i'm like oh if chrissy want to do that could giannis be like yo chrissy go handle that i'll try to take as much of this bandwidth as i can here's the difference i think i think you guys brought this to fruition where it's a powerhouse where it's like we were very much at the beginning of the climb and i think you want to kind of at that point that's when you really want to double down and get to the point where when you're negotiating for those other things you can make yourself look good in those other things and kind of dictate your own destiny because you have the power and the leverage to do so yeah you guys got opportunity too quick take him you got opportunities too quick i didn't get any opportunities yeah i mean like the same way you say we make decisions yeah i'm using the royal yeah no but like maybe chris he got the opportunities too quick you know like we didn't get netflix until way after we were a significant podcast right so we were in the position to go nah this is what we do once the rocket works comments on your [ __ ] yeah you're going to be able to get them to do what you want to do you know what's inside and you don't have to sacrifice the way you look because it can hurt you you go do a show it can hurt you yeah yeah yeah it could hurt your [ __ ] yeah it hurts your brand you go do some [ __ ] dumb show and they say do it this way talk and then people start your fans start hating you for it and your fans in this era are everything yeah they're everything i think you get to dictate to your fans more than you realize like you have hours to talk to them i don't know bro we just went through a breakup and if you listen to what the fans are saying i don't yeah because you stopped talking no issues we did podcasts together you do podcasts but none like they've all been banked so you can't talk to the fans directly and say yo for hours on end like you could as an individual hey here's the deal here's what it is they'll eventually understand i don't also just you also i could come on flagrant two and beat around the bush though i can do that you [Laughter] i'll tell you this right now if this was a show on any network i wouldn't fly down for it for this because it's [ __ ] a dope show thank you yeah and what you were saying before about getting away from your wife and kid yeah yeah or like oh my god doing a little cocaine bro you know i haven't slept bro nobody sleeps in miami bro everyone here is just a professional sex worker nobody has any real jobs yeah different versions yeah he wants to cover some [ __ ] up he just keeps talking i love it i love it man well we support you man yeah the tricky thing i think with the podcast is oh i knew i was getting railroaded as soon as i walked in here and schultz didn't make eye contact with me for like five minutes i knew it the insight goes both ways comic i know i'm like oh we're about to have some [ __ ] we're going to start with akash's rona then we're going to chapter two schultz is taking his [ __ ] on chapter one we're gonna start with in chapter two we're gonna make him talk [ __ ] about chrissy i asked chris to be here i called him yesterday he's in phoenix with his family but uh but i was like i will fly you in yeah and then we just have the reuniting episode and then literally i'm thinking which was akash's original idea was what if both of you sit down and you're having so much fun on the mic and then we get [ __ ] yeah that would be happening i don't want to we come from a good place this is i don't want the uh oh let's start beef between you and chris got to do your job and there's nobody that understands that more than me no but i i read legit what do you mean by that you couldn't not address this this is flagrant too like you couldn't come in and be like sorry honest tell me about how the baby that's the most interesting thing in your life right now yes yes i don't think i've ever asked about your baby yeah no because you're so psyched now what can we do with that can you start a podcast with your baby make it instagram she's gonna sell the bluetooth she's proof it works she's proof it works [Music] but point is yeah listen it's i obviously want to have honest conversations with you this is the conversation we would have i dig it before i did um that's what i'm gonna try to get you all back together you guys are great individually but you're [ __ ] great here's the thing if chrissy was here we would have tons of fun yeah we just did crisis we had tons of fun our final episode after we knew we were breaking up we had tons of fun once we get cooking we get cooking yeah the team is me and chrissy it's what it is yeah and uh you know and maybe we get it in the future i guess what i'm trying to say this is like a good thing like good advice for podcasters in general is that like and you do have more control than a lot of people realize and i think that's what akash was pointing at but like however you decide to brand yourself right is going to be the expectation that your listeners have and then if you shift from that expectation they will feel misled but you are allowed to evolve yeah like the breakfast club started out as one of the wildest shows in history and then has started to interview presidents yeah you know what i mean like they've completely evolved and your fans evolve with you as long as you tell them hey this is where we're going with things yeah so i think that i think that honest conversation with them i and maybe you wouldn't want to go there maybe he wouldn't maybe both of you guys wouldn't want to meet in the middle and that's totally fine as well but you guys do have more power and control in terms of your narrative than you'd think i think we were already evolving we already evolved over the three years yeah i think it's just you know how it is man whatever you put in you get out [ __ ] going in [ __ ] going out yeah commitment whatever energy you put in is what you get out and you know when things when other things start pulling you all over the place it kind of sacrificed you have to sacrifice sometimes what kind of got you there and uh i don't know man you can't do it again because we were so busy and i was doing so many different things and akash really does nothing yeah i can hold it down but you can relate but you but for real if akash isn't isn't dedicated to the podcast like he was and obviously mark and alex but when mark and i were working on the netflix thing alex and akash had to hold down the podcast and even from the beginning as things were pulling me aside like i've always had that conversation without cops was like yo i need you to [ __ ] hold this down make sure we're good patreon and everything also i was going broke but i said to him like you got a lot of [ __ ] going on handle that i'll take as much of the podcast as i can built the patreon figured all the [ __ ] tears on the phone with those got like you just kind of all right if we want this to work let's make this work i believe this he believes in this you're busy go be busy i'll make this war you know what it is there's two sides there's two sides to every story right there's two narratives yeah i think maybe one is more guest about um but at the end of the day what's important is you know when those things happen that it's just time it's just time yeah there's things that like you just can't talk there's no reason to talk about them it just becomes a thing where yeah you're going like i didn't like this i didn't like this this is that this is that yeah probably none of it's true it's just two people's interests kind of started wanting to evolve in different directions yeah i won't just say it's just him also like he will he he has his thing where he won't he wants to do what he wants to do he's got a new family whatever and then there's also things i want to do and how i want to be and what i want to explore so it's probably both it's probably both and then it it maybe manifested itself and some of course there's going to be some bicker everyone knows that i mean our fans are going like we don't buy this of course there was some bickering yeah of course that happened you know what i mean it's just we didn't high-five and say you know what we're just about to blow up let's stop yeah okay so like you know i'll admit that much but but you know you go you know let's let me have some retro let me have some retrospective wisdom about this at the present right now yeah let me put myself in five 10 years what am i going to be saying about this i'll be saying it was time that's what i'll be saying so i'm not gonna i'm not gonna i'm not gonna partake right in the bickering and all that i'll just go you know what it was time and i'll just focus on the things i want to do well we love you we love chrissy does that make sense no no uh i actually stopped listening it makes sense to him i sort of guessed that the second you started mentioning five and ten year plans i was like i don't know what we're talking about right now i didn't know when did you when did you tap out when did you tap out something about bickering he said bickering and then i just started thinking about his voice i was also very sick but we tried you were great you know that the nurses you were also very great and i like we already we talked we had a whole whole talk about it on hyenas yeah yeah and uh but we wanted people to actually listen yeah you wanted some people you wanted what you wanted the black community right and by the way can i ask you a question do black people drink coca-cola do they drink it yeah you were you were almost black as a kid yes i wanted to be okay yeah you committed fully you got shot i was committed to it yeah okay i was committed so do black people drink coca-cola i think they do ow way more we got one now on twitter and wait wait wait wait they drink no no we said black people drink coca-cola alex came out of his ass yesterday last week it was a reason alex just out of nowhere i think he was bored or something he just goes yeah yeah black people don't drink coca-cola like we only drink pepsi he he blanket statement black people do not drink coca-cola and i had people like dm'ing me like he does not speak on behalf like we love a coca-cola and they were spelling out coca-cola like coke dash wow dash cola yeah that's how serious black people are about coca-cola so i'm gonna need you to make sure you fact-check all your black [ __ ] okay that's why there's a question mark at the end yeah what's that pepsi the only choice for african americans yeah well you know the page needs [ __ ] donations that's how whacked this article is please donate with paypal our shitty nonsense article dropped by some coke first marketed two black people as the alternative to coca-cola cola only marketed to white people no but coaching people yeah but yeah i know but so that's what i'm saying they came after and they're like oh [ __ ] they're just like not even acknowledging this group of people i'm going to go after them became like that but situation so pepsi is like the subaru of sodas i guess like you know subaru went after dykes yeah because they're like dykes drive cars yeah but then there's not enough dykes and now he's like all right everybody like can drive them [Laughter] i don't have a subaru actually you got a fake subaru what do you mean you got you gotta wanna be subaru kit car superman they're great in the snow subarus what they're great in the snow are they yes we're in miami baby yeah you don't have to worry about that bro uh-uh bro absolutely nothing all right listen while we have you here is there anything else you want to say before we get into some of these combos the actual things though i can't handle another like pc answer no that's i think we got it right i think we got it we just want to make sure that you could say your piece yes you know i said my piece all right i love you honest i love you too i want everybody to go check out yanny long days please i watch them do you on instagram yeah yeah for a couple seconds yeah i'll give you up until it says do you want to keep watching yeah and then i mean when you click when you click when it goes from the uh yeah it goes a little i give you up to there and sometimes you'll say some wild [ __ ] right before the like thing stops and i'm like this [ __ ] gonna make me press a button i just wanted to scroll and i'm out here pressing buttons i'll keep watching but i do watch them thank you so much yeah i'm a big supporter of giannis papa i appreciate it i love you yeah and i always appreciate it all you've done i appreciate it i haven't done anything you helped you've helped you in fact when we did hyenas i think a a large portion of our fan base at the beginning was flagrant two fans well yeah that is not us that's you guys having a great podcast and then people recognizing that i take no credit for that yeah unlike some people [Laughter] i love you and i can't i can't wait to see what you guys both do and i mean that 100 sincerely now i do want to talk about a couple stories and you're an opinionated man here so it'd be good to get your opinion on these things um the first thing that came to my attention which i think was absolutely mind-bogglingly terrifying is that um china has been anal swabbing u.s diplomats [Music] that's that's an act of aggression right they said it was a mistake come on bro yeah they sent us over and they [ __ ] penetrated us yeah i think they're just [ __ ] with us at this point that's what i'm saying they're just [ __ ] with they're just and then they said oops oh my bad clinical error like they make errors like yeah they never admit to fault right even with corona they're like nah we did everything right and when it comes to bending us over and shoving [ __ ] in our ass all of a sudden it's an error no error with corona not a single thing they did wrong with corona right everything perfectly done right but they bent us over they made us come into their [ __ ] offices they bent us over a table and they shoved [ __ ] on our eyes i think they think all american people look alike and they're like we don't know i think i'm confused about that maybe chinese people are like oh all americans look alike to us too you know you know white people no no chinese people look alike no but i don't understand what th what you mean they didn't know they were diplomats maybe we saw these some regular you know american jokes no they're saying they shouldn't have done it at all yeah the anal swab thing uh no they were anal swabbing mad people and then when the diplomats came oh i see what you're saying they were like oh we didn't know that they they were supposed to get a different security where are they sure they can't swap their own two look i don't care what you do to your own you're not going to stick nothing in an american's [ __ ] they already did yeah they did yeah they didn't do about that they should get in our proverbial dead ass if biden put a nuke off right now and it was like well they were sticking things in our ass you were in a little party you'd be like that's my [ __ ] guy that's my [ __ ] we'd get nuked right back nah they can't reach us bro they reach us bro how do they go reach us they built they have a billion of them like ants they'll build a bridge to a place where they can [ __ ] launch it they will build a human bridge i think we can nuke them first dude dude have you ever seen them [ __ ] do like uh you know [ __ ] dance dance revolution they know how to hook on to each other oh yeah they [ __ ] hook on to each other they can plug in like they're magical people they can plug into each other they do the ass and they do a human centipede like that they build the bridge and they'll launch it close but what are they going to launch it off of offer the [ __ ] last dude who's hanging off the bridge you're going to launch a nuke right off the last yeah dude they're [ __ ] they're tricky like that man they named it they named it tick-tock because they're [ __ ] with us too they're it's called tick-tock because they know we're at our end they're going tick-tock america taiwan they took [ __ ] economy is collapsing pretty soon american women are going to move to china to open [ __ ] nail salons it's over it's a reversal of it's a reversal of death to me oh yeah they're going to be in there going five dollar five dollars and then the chinese are going to be there's going to be some chinese comic was going to go viral going have you ever gone into an american store they go five dollars they pronounce their ours they're [ __ ] weird i think they're talking [ __ ] about us in their own language there will be a chinese angela johnson who and then there'll be a bunch of comments going she's not that funny but she'll be making millions of dollars there'll be a reversal of roles really yeah they [ __ ] let's move there and surrender dude it's no don't you want to fight back honestly no i want to learn how to talk their language i want to learn you're never gonna that [ __ ] is too complicated just make noises and [ __ ] learn how to do puzzles if you could solve [ __ ] stick and adopt puzzles you can speak it didn't we just have a 30 minute conversation about how you only want to do what you want to do and the second china's i want to sit right here i'll learn mandarin [ __ ] it let's do puzzles sudoku great dude they already have taken over nah bro they've taken over nukes the only problem is nukes we got noobs but you can't you can't you can't you gotta start with a littler china no you just gotta go in dude vietnam run it back the sequel yeah not for real dude i'm not i'm not bending over man you have enough of that yeah enough of that dude yeah but why are you so willing because they won no they didn't win how'd they win they said corona they let us know who's boss they let us know who's boss trump was like i'm going to put all these tariffs we're going to [ __ ] with you and they're like oh yeah and then they just flick virus into the west yeah and just like they were partying did you see times square their equivalent to times square called in wuhan where they did you just make that up for you totally yeah it comes from like their language comes from like somewhere yeah and uh did you see what they were doing that's how you sounded with corona boy dove was like i'm trying to do it i'm trying to get you i'm trying to get we've got four nurses in the area they won't go up there i'm talking to shelters i grew up with shows where my best friend don't do anything for them now what do you mean what do you need have you tried the chicken soup that's what my grandmother used to do just take chicken soup you're gonna be okay okay you're gonna be fine did you get this from akasha no you gotta stay away from those people there's a lot of diseases that part of the world they don't wash their hands they kill rats with their hands oh my god you ever seen those you ever watch the documentary rats like they go to england in india and there's just a dude in the street you saw him call it i almost called it england downhill from there yeah you know okay no so you really are ready to bend over for china you would let them swap you over no no you would let them anal swab you yeah over there and they're like bend over it's time for your anal swap and you would say okay and take it oh [ __ ] literally i'm ready i think they just despicable dude i'm ready despicable you took a show at netflix after you said netflix was over and you're calling me despicable hey hey ferrari or a porsche we driving big [ __ ] baby you know miami is the only [ __ ] city where you'll see like a purple lamborghini outside of a restaurant and then you'll see you'll go follow that dude in that purple lamborghini like where does he live he lives with his mom he lives with his mom or he doesn't sleep in the lamborghini that yeah yeah yeah that's why i'm getting a fake car though yeah what do you mean i'm gonna get a fake one what do you mean a fake one i'm gonna fly a fake car from china you're a trader no not from china american made yeah german cars no germa yeah american cars are fake cars yeah no but for real i'm gonna buy a fake one i looked it up so i want like this 19 like 65 porsche right it's a speedster yeah and they happen to be like 300 000 when they're real and then this but this guy tells me he goes no you can get like a replica of it and i go what's that he goes there's some a company that's reputable just builds a new version of it and then you put a new engine in yeah and like new parts and stuff you can actually have like ac and like power windows but the shell looks like the old porsche that you like maybe it's 1956 or something like that right and i was like yeah i was gonna do all that to it anyway there's no way i'm paying three hundred thousand dollars for a car i was like how much is that i'm thinking it's gonna be like 200 or 100. they're like oh you can probably get down for like 40 000. i'm like hold up i can have the car that looks the way i want it to look with all the new [ __ ] because there's no way i'm going to be driving my [ __ ] wife around with 1950s brakes like would you put your girl this pregnant in a car with 1950s definitely not you're gonna upgrade all this [ __ ] anyway i was like wait i can get the thing i'm not a [ __ ] car enthusiast right i just want the [ __ ] to look beautiful because they look you're beautiful they made these beautiful cars back in the day right i was like there's no way in hell i'm gonna spend top dollar when it's not even the [ __ ] i want right i'm not trying to impress some like [ __ ] loser that's in the cars right i'm trying to impress the guy that knows nothing about cars but hell yeah so i'm gonna get my kit card it's called a kit car nice yeah i didn't even know you could do that 100 i don't think you can do it like the like if for example you get like an old ferrari or something like that you might want to get the actual car yeah but like from the 1950s a [ __ ] porsche yeah dude i mean that's a german car i can't support 1950s germany yeah yeah well they had cleaned it up by then he's fine yeah sad 40s germany's a problem yeah but it was still lingering it's not like you like stop being hateful no they stop they i think they got the message yeah they got the message but it didn't go away it's not like they saw like jewish people and they're like the wall was do it the wall was still up but they were commun yeah but that's different communists yeah but you think they look just we're just like nah dudes are cool now like you think that completely i would buy a car they pretended they got whoa about it i think that's german that would be the equivalent of wilkins though like if there was a social media germans would be like here's me with my jewish friend yeah now but not 1950s or immediately in the 50s they tried to they tried to clean it up quick you think you can just snap out i think germany firebomb the [ __ ] out of dresden people don't know that like because it didn't it didn't have the big bang that uh you know that we did in uh hiroshima but we [ __ ] carpet bombed those snow monkeys i mean we [ __ ] carpet bombed them i mean we killed a lot of german we sent a message yeah we said don't [ __ ] with the boys you got us involved we were [ __ ] doing our thing playing baseball now we're coming over here and showing you what it means we can't do that to china you too scared bro we can't bro you're scared bro they got too many of them bro no they don't you gotta back we have nukes you just wipe them out austin girls got to eat look at us we're too we don't want to be soldiers bro i know i was scared of corona you think i'm going to war i would do it bro i would do it you ain't doing nothing i would do it i saw 911 i was like i'm gonna let the boys handle that but when i saw anal swabs done when i saw china [ __ ] anal swab you as diplomats it's time to go here's the red button here's the thing let's go biden you got a decent you're decent with moving hands around i seen you yeah but if you got a hundred you know the movies ain't real bro like if a hundred of them come at you bro yeah bro hop on you i'm just in miami bro i'm going oh miami bro yo bro yo hallelujah bro what happened what happened you're gonna be swinging and like godzilla like 100 will just [ __ ] climb on you and slowly take you down yeah yeah they will slowly overwhelm you yeah like you ever see like a bunch of bees trying to get like a wasp that goes in there and [ __ ] when it bees up and then they they try to you get try you can try to get close to the queen yeah they'll swarm you what are you not getting about nukes they that they have them too no but they don't go far enough how do you know bro are you in the military yes i know about these things it's because the earth spins the other way yeah you got to go the other way stupid yo bro they're all ready you don't you don't think they got nukes in chinatown they've been colonizing us for years wow they're trying to tell you about things they got sleeper cells in chinatown yeah also if anybody's listening to this please do not uh you know do any acts of violence on asian america no do not absolutely jokes please just jokes we're joking around now chinese chinese people like from china it is what it is you slap that [ __ ] in his mouth here's on my behalf here's the thing in defense of all this stuff going on it wasn't even asian people you wanna know what the truth is how corona got here what is the truth the fitness industry pushing back against the pharmaceutical you would say that after gaining 40 pounds i did i took well i took it off and put it right back on losing weight that's what it is the fitness industry right that's about your voice change the pharmaceutical suffocating the pharmaceutical industry check this out pharmaceutical industry has been backing proud fat celebs surreptitiously in order for everyone to have like heart disease problems so they can sell cardiovascular medication and this is the fitness industries i have a question push back before you move on corona do you know what surreptitiously means yeah you do secretly okay i mean his dad's south asian of course he knows a [ __ ] word that's a doctor or some [ __ ] do you like that being called south asian it's actually technical i don't i don't notice it but i don't it's a lot bro asian yeah i don't like that i don't like that at all dude because you think i'm being associated with do you prefer your personality i am in china huh you prefer sandra you're fine with you know i'm just andrew sandra d he's from a part of the world where there's a lot of sand is there a lot of sand in india no but that's what we i'm heating so i didn't know it anymore sandra did i mean we could you won you need this bro you missed this a little bit you and jesse in a room together you just spouting off i love you you need this too i like this too it's a balance you can do long days but you also need this i loved it so come to miami [ __ ] leave your [ __ ] move here in your family this is the city you do that let's go this is the city committee i'm committed to it okay i'm leaving you babe i'm joining schultz's flagrant army let's go wait wait wait wait i didn't say i remember you texting me one day you were like i think i'm moving to austin bro he told me that today yeah oh wait are you moving austin no no no we're not doing that gotcha it's not we're not doing that why not getting a little hacky yeah but that's a good point it's a lot of people moving to austin bro what is this you're not open miker no you don't need to go to austin you come down here in miami with your people swing that fat greek dick around well you know okay yeah that's all you need is compliments you get got to move anywhere i mean you know the statues all you need to know about greek penises is in the statute what is that what is that and they're just barely making it barely peeking over the balls really have you been to a museum no yes you have you've seen it yeah i have seen yeah but what i thought that was is uh there was like penis envy after the greeks discovered black people no it's just greeks just don't have big pieces we're showing no but historically there's there's like some guy that they said that big dicks were barbaric so that they started carving the small dicks into the statues and they were just really jealous of the black dicks that they started to see i i get it no it's 100 serious because they weren't always small if you look at the statues from way back before there were some decent-sized dicks i mean that's poss but then the little dick guys who always are the ones in charge because obviously small dude a little dick overcompensate you get in power and if you were in power what would you do you say this is the most beautiful dick move to miami and keep my operation going did i just agree to having a small dick yeah is that why i crossed my legs like this guy because you can yeah yeah yeah yeah you tricked me i like because i sit like that too and it does mean you got a small dick and i love when the head just kind of peeks out between the legs just like that because it's nice and cozy yeah i keep the balls below and the head up yeah my penises looks small it looks like chewing gum in a jufro when it's limp yeah it just kinda looks like that oh my god i look like an amputee you know like when a soldier loses an arm and he's got like a nub my dick looks like enough that little skin hanging off there it looks like a bomb blew off my dick that's why you want to go to china you sell out money i want to finish it it works out doesn't it yes we get to the bottom of it yes jesus yes yes that is a big bullet makes akash look even smaller you got to put a tiny bullet there take that from this little bit he just admitted his dick's little you can't say nothing back i already almost killed the guy i won i broke this you broke it yeah i gotta say he took everything from him i really did he did you did i had him up bunkered up in his [ __ ] studio quarantined for two weeks blaming me for [ __ ] he was losing i won so he didn't win he did win but are you i'm back but are you are you moving your family to austin too yeah no you're not yeah unless you tell me not to do it i will just tell me not to do it yeah we're gonna do six months here six months back home all right i'm staying in new york that's it this is no-brainer done but be honest boston is a great place to raise a family texas is a great place to raise that's what akash was saying new york man what are you doing [ __ ] cold for no reason damn bro akash does not want you around me bro i love you i gotta do anything and go back to crazy huh i just look you got miami you guys are a different studio and i'm kidding you guys got a similar dynamic to me and chris had and that's why it works so good it's like you're real nice like before you're going like that's a great way and you're like going [ __ ] you you ain't moving you know it's kind of like yay you painted yourself as a nice one no i'm the dick okay i was saying chris is the nice one i'm the dick because i was gonna but at least you know what i'm thinking yeah yeah at least you always know what it was but not for real why would you go to why would you go to austin um i like what joe's doing there and i just wanted yeah besides the fact that it's about to be the epicenter of comedy outside of that that's the reason what would be the reason to go just besides the fact that they're literally building the la comedy scene yeah in austin without the [ __ ] that is l.a right besides that awesome thing why else would you go there um because uh the barbecue is good yeah yeah barbecue yeah i love country music yeah no no no don't talk [ __ ] about country music bro i don't like whoa whoa why name one country because it's name a country singer because you can't name one yes i can name one dolly parton you could tell me dolly parton 9 5 yeah one of the greatest songwriting [ __ ] of all time oh bryant bro luke bryan he got some bangers bro look at some bangers bro he's fine everybody always says that that's a new york hot take like country music stupid and then nobody in new york got country music every young person who wants to see him like cool and cultured is like like every musical country so go ahead three slaps y'all blair off a verse and tear drops they fall down like rain i don't know the rest of the world yeah you know three flats right flats but you only know three words is i asked you to do a boogie down production song from 1991 you'd know every [ __ ] word not a single word it's not a single favorite but it's still not a single word but r b you'll know every word to us yeah it don't have to be my favorite but it could still slap these are my confessions what the country's just [ __ ] white r b is there's no difference why is trash have you been r b strategies that was a good point what he just did but he said white r b is trash yeah nah white r b is fire that's a good people you only have a few standouts you guys have a few standouts son white people started r b already of it is just like white people started r b yes son that's the funnier take i'm with that one he got me prove it please white people started r b so excited that's like saying i'm responsible for the history hyena's breaking up that's how wrong that is [Laughter] not white people started r b bro who bro what does r b stand for rhythming black wait what oh you said read the blacks wait wait wait wait wait wait wait are you allowed what were y'all talking about what were you guys just i was i thought i was going with rhythm and blues oh rhythm and blues yes oh yeah that was a black thing yeah that's 100 a black thing they figured that [ __ ] out first right but white people got it back um elvis took it yeah elvis bot did elvis not come through in the clutch i mean some country got blues y'all still kind of figuring out rhythm you haven't no have you seen lion dancing bro they had to make lines for us just stay on these lines you'll figure that [ __ ] out and if everybody in the place is doing the exact same pants maybe you'll get it right the texas is that's all line dancing is if you left white people up to their own devices the [ __ ] was gonna get bad real quick it turned into a mosh pit so they were like all right all of us gonna do the [ __ ] the same time two stepping literally two steps two two slide everybody's doing it gotta be coordinated that's the only thing blessed bro miami's a good town to watch like just the disparity in dancing talent between latins and whites yeah whites [ __ ] up the entire you put one white guy in the dance floor in miami yeah start stepping on people's feet doing numbers in his head like there's some latin woman who's trying to like sympathetically teach him like no just move like this and turn and they just don't get it i remember i was here and i just couldn't get i was like one two three four turn one two three four well maybe right back down here dog have you bought a place in austin yet no so there's you're not really moving austin well since you told me not to i'm not i'm i'm taking it back you're coming down here this we're east coast boys bro i don't know if i could come down here and get [ __ ] corona again like marky gagnon bro you're the goddess of me yeah mark got it twice you're texting joe rogan you wouldn't believe it yeah what the [ __ ] schultz i spread that rumor around 20 times you put it on instagram too at least mine was a private tax you young did you test positive for corona more than one time i tested negative more often i hate him bro i [ __ ] hate this kid so you got the miami strand that's like maxed in mixed in with like ricky martin's ass feelings glorious i gotta get anal swab to make sure i think that [ __ ] got him still can't smell yeah i can't smell no smell no taste nothing but bro if you get it a second time because when when mark got it the second time it was bad i'm so early i'm on day seven so once i'm what does that mean day seven i still got four like what oh you're seven days after being clear yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you got a negative test now wait so it was bad the second time yes well the first time i think i got a false positive right you might have had it then the other strain too you might have had that more that was your first strain was [ __ ] yeah yo i'm saying if you get caught up bro yeah bro on a round two oh my goodness i'm gonna call dove we're doing everything we can for you where are you where are you okay i'm trying to send one up there right now it wouldn't go to you bro no i wouldn't go we tried i know we tried yeah if i get a second one i think i'm my my antibodies are strong yeah you're not going to get a second yeah greeks don't go down we we keep coming yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we are not really rebuilt that empire no yeah we've we're kind of like we didn't yeah we're the al bundy of countries children out bundy yeah just relived his high school days game yeah is the most like kind of regular ass dead era high school player wasn't a championship game no i have four touchdowns in one game yeah he never said this all the line was always four touchdowns in one yeah we're always just like talking about the glory days and now we're selling shoes so that's no i think it was the championship game maybe because do you remember the episode where his daughter goes on jeopardy yes and remember like if she gets one new piece of information yeah and the last question of jeopardy is who is the person that scored four touchdowns in one game yeah in the uh you know final high school football game whatever kelly kelly bundy was a boy lopped off her tits though she got locked off tits yeah and yo her brother had some bars though what remember he was a rapper no yeah david david faustino no yeah he was a rapper i did not know so was the kid from 90210 oh david david green yeah david parker green i don't know but i know that he was cracking out megan fox and that is uh that's a good that's a good take commendable that is a good yeah that's a good man that is a commendable takedown okay um let's talk about a couple things my friends um stimulus are we going to get our money or what you're not concerned what do you mean you mean like we like us i mean we like us yeah yeah i well i hope i get mine you're not going to get any money i need that money do you i need to buy diapers stop it you got a couple ducketts bro i saved up i said you got a couple ducketts i got enough to maybe last me a year or two did you know you would [ __ ] up history hyenas a year in advance and start saving bro i saved every dollar from that wig and miami knows what i'm talking about because she was big down here bro every show i did bro like sergio used to say yo look out for that wig a lot of us eat off that wig so yeah i thought i'm about to throw that wig back on move down to miami and just live is more rica you were killing it down here yeah they loved her down here it was huge down here cubans loved her cuba it was like new york and miami with the two spots yeah and we come down here and blow it out it was a lot of fun do you think uh that could go viral now no way it's a hate crime now yeah there's actually a warning on it i have to drop my whole youtube page and start a new one there's a warning on it now really there's a warning on it why language offensive content yeah yeah you know the irony is it's like beloved the the fans of it are all hispanic and gay yeah and bla it was all hispanic black white people being offended on behalf of a community that loves it yeah i mean they do it at drag shows like she's like a legend in the drag community yeah they'll do it all the time play the audio and then the drag queens will act out what you're saying yeah i mean it was like there wasn't probably a puerto rican in new york that didn't know you didn't know that yeah ready at a time and i did those shows and those shows were all black and puerto rican and then one crowd why did why did it stop i milked the [ __ ] out of it for years went too far i just did it as much as you can do it did you end up doing a show and then like there just weren't that many people there yeah what was that like it's you just know i always knew that because it happened to me when i was in my 30s so it wasn't like i just knew you knew that they had a certain amount of miles on yeah and you were gonna run through it yeah okay yeah and okay so then what happened what was the show when did you start to realize okay we've reached the end me and angelo god rest his soul um r.i.p man yeah r.p angelo lazada you know we did those shows together for so long i mean though when i'm on my deathbed i'll think about some of those shows like we did in miami down here did you room would shake and it was [ __ ] brutal did you think about them when i put you on your deathbed when you were on your deathbed is that what you were i was thinking about it yeah i was going angelo i'm coming i'll see you soon i heard him going yeah come on pop you know so uh yeah it was just it was uh and then we i remember um i remember there's a couple funny stories well i'll just tell this one quick because it's real funny in chicago it was all panos fans i used to do the show and i would do both characters yeah yeah it was all greek but we didn't know i explained to them real quick sure okay so ponos is as uh giannis's greek character is similar to marisa which probably you guys are familiar with in that you just dive in completely to that character and you're making social commentary through that character's voice yeah greek guy like typical diner owner looking greek guy mustache etc yeah and then marisa for anybody doesn't know is that where the term dace was popular yeah everybody just started saying that right part of the [ __ ] vernacular rigorous yeah and it was this amazing hilarious character they did that just [ __ ] exploded on youtube and like took new york by storm i'm sure it took other parts of the country by storm as well so you were doing both of them together yeah which in a lot of ways makes no [ __ ] sense no but i wanted to do it yeah but it was stupid okay go yeah but you're right because it would put two groups of people that would never be in the same room together and each group didn't know the other character so it was like one one half of the crowd's going what the [ __ ] is this and when you're doing an ethnically themed show yeah they don't want to hear anything about anything that isn't them no you're absolutely you know like if it's the indian show they want to hear indian [ __ ] yeah i don't wanna hear about china don't pontificate about what's happening in the house or the senate just tell us about us yeah exactly right so okay you're in there and now you have these two groups they could give a flying [ __ ] the trainees that are loving marisa could give a flying [ __ ] about greek [ __ ] right and the greeks would give a flying [ __ ] about the training right okay and that was what made it so magical when it did work but when it didn't work it was like hilarious so chicago we had no idea uh panels would go first because he didn't kill as hard as she would yeah and she would go and then i would close as me right so we did panels first in chicago improv murdered right murdered and we were going like i was looking angel going like i think we finally figured this [ __ ] out like because he didn't always do that great i'm like we finally figured it out and then i go back i changed it to maurice and we play the song and he goes big angelo always goes you guys ready to see the queen and it just echoed off the ceiling just well you ready to see the queen queen queen no noise usually you'd hear girls [ __ ] going nuts screaming screeching nothing so i just walk out there in uh chicago improv which is big it's cavernous right yeah and it was packed but it was just like the song was just reverberating in silence like it was just a room full of greeks going what the [ __ ] is this and i'm prancing around the stage going da what's going on my people and then you just hear nothing and i just look out into the crowd i just see greek yayas old women children just greeks we went up i did maurice it ate dick for like seven minutes to the point where i just moved the mic and i said angela let's just wrap it up and then he went all right that should sit and i just walked out there wasn't even a clap it was just a room full of confused people going what the [ __ ] was that it was like it was almost like a hate crime that they just watched because they were great they had no idea then you split them up no then we kept doing it yeah we kept doing it my first thought is you're already you're dividing your money in half you could just sell out one kill as panos one shows mauricio the funny thing is when people would come afterwards to be like yo you all three people like cause sometimes you get some real things you don't even know they'd be like you know you're the one growing up i didn't know you didn't know yeah because you would do stand-up as yourself first yeah okay yeah yeah then when maurice died it was just me and angelo in phoenix wait why did marisa die that's what i'm trying to say i think so many people came and saw it yeah that it just kind of so what was the show that let you know phoenix this is done phoenix so you went to do phoenix yeah and then just people didn't come out it was like 50 people really being in a big room that would stand up live the thing yeah character is you i once i see the character we know character comics were hilarious once then you see them again you're like i get it now yeah so you're not watching them twice a guy with a point of view you me hopefully chappelle whoever these guys are point of view comics i want to hear what you have to say about everything well that's why i'll watch you come back but yeah that's the thing that i always liked about the videos because i thought it was like your sneaky way of like getting your opinions off through the character it is right so like i was like oh this has legs you can just keep on doing this it had good run ten years i mean you don't think about it ten years ago bro but here's the thing phoenix might be a different type of latinos they might that's mexicans they're not [ __ ] with a cuban or a puerto rican or whatever so i don't know if that's an indictment on a character dying that was the beginning yeah that was the beginning then we came back to new york and the numbers just just died down kind of died there were still hardcore fans and i started doing her podcast and then it kind of came back up but then you need to keep feeding yeah you also didn't keep it relevant yeah you didn't i'm going to keep doing them all but like yeah it's like it's just all going to be brought together like i'm just going to bring them all together on long days with giannis pappas yeah yeah yeah yeah it was a clean plug right yeah clean plug yeah yeah yeah i didn't even see it as a plug yeah you know what you need janice if you like yanni long days you'll love history hyenas if you guys want to check out it's a classic and it's up forever you can check it out and our patreon still up our final episode is on our patreon you need a [ __ ] like a scooter brawn but like not as successful as scooter yet but scooters like justin bieber's man ariana grande like literally every successful uh whatsoever i changed the [ __ ] world yeah he he got the netflix special made he executive approved a netflix special um and shout outs to justin for putting me on to them and all these things but uh he's just really smart about the industry but doesn't care about being in front of the camera he doesn't want he likes being that role that's refreshing and you have all these [ __ ] great ideas and then some shitty ones like all of us but you throw it all at the wall you throw everything at the wall and then if something sticks you'll roll with it for a little bit but if you had a guy who was just like hey hey this is actually good can we just focus on this don't throw this at the wall we'll make this work i think it could be really beneficial i rarely say people need managers yeah you don't need anything right but the right guy that was just working on the business side so you could just be on the creative i think could take things far away for you that would be a relief oh that's that's a dream to have someone just like the right guy but no one's right yeah that's the thing there are very few of these people yeah very few but if you get the right person i think it could really work you always yeah and then you find out about their other dreams when you're doing their managers like yeah you know but i wanna you know i sell this on this you're going like like i did comedy for four years yeah you don't like when [ __ ] got other interests yeah i know you can't have other focus on me focus my thing that's it chris i love christy d all love all love love we gotta get chrissy back guys huh can't be that needy who me yeah i mean what we're comics we're all needy yeah but you have no way when to be needy and win or not you know i mean when there's money involved that's my need it's it's it's filled yeah i mean um al mark can we do some facts no feelings please feelings no facts feelings no facts i'd be getting backward all the time feelings yeah yeah you want to just take us through a few of these topics i like that because yeah we're out here man let's start the list that we have there yeah oh okay perfect all right so uh did you finish the stimulus situation oh yeah we didn't even talk about that so did you guys hear about the uh the 15 minimum wage thing being killed yeah by democrats yeah really yeah like two democrat uh i guess congressmen were the ones that said no no no why yo that [ __ ] is a big jump bruh like i want people to make 15 an hour but it's high yeah like it's what is it seven and a quarter now to 15 yeah but it's gradual it's not gonna happen overnight but still it's it feels like it is how many nights is it gonna happen over feel that how many nights are you gonna have to live in poverty no no now you're making me be the bad guy i'm just telling you what but you can afford a real one that's right [Music] chrissy i see you coming for that corporate money too baby let's get some porsches leave these bus pass [ __ ] behind no not for real though let's get fake cars all of us um but wait what the [ __ ] would we just say oh yeah yeah the reason to what to go 15 an hour it just seems you don't think it seems high like just don't go eventually just go yeah let's break the 10. and then in a few years then you break to 12. so slow dog like seven dollars an hour was mad long ago you know you're 100 i'm just saying how you get people digested if your girl said yo we got to start having sex twice as much a week than we usually do oh [ __ ] thank four times a month let's go that's a crazy thing not being dead ass if my girl was like we gotta do double and then she's like we could work towards it and i'm like why don't you just say that well don't say we have to do double and then backwards explain it into some [ __ ] double is always a lot but i mean that's if you came and asked me for a raised double i'll give you a laugh let's work towards it decades from now so just start at the work towards what they do is they save 15 an hour because they know it's going to gain public support it's right it's a it's a [ __ ] lie so these politicians they always they lie to you with the [ __ ] that you want to hear right so you can get it passed but it's [ __ ] but we know dems are bad at marketing and branding or they're brilliant they're brilliant they just say what you want to hear give everybody a thousand dollars now this [ __ ] gonna be mayor he ain't giving me nothing there you go that's so it's [ __ ] 15 an hour yeah amazon can afford it but i don't know if every spot can afford it yeah i don't it's a bad time for a 15 minimum wage because like employers are struggling you tell some guy who's got a small business he's got to pay 15 he's going like i don't have 15 i'm at 25 capacity in the restaurant right i'm at 25 capacity and now i got to double my salary right that's crazy my fear is if you pass a 15 minimum wage it's already happening but that'll just incentivize big companies to get rid of employees even faster and automate everything even not only does it incentivize big companies who uh to get rid of employees who does it benefit which companies can afford 15 minimum wage walmart that's about it walmart amazon the big companies who can't mom and pops 15 minimum wage doesn't help the small businesses yeah it just helps the big business it turns america into five different stores yeah so i want people to make 15 now i hope mom and pop shops are so um i i felt they're flourishing so much that they feel like they can afford to pay their employees 15 yeah but to mandate it might put them in a position where a lot of people go out of business it's unrealistic it's just unrealistic at in the context of now which is which is something that this is double bro yeah give me one thing that you're okay with double somebody wanting double from you yeah go double i want double i can't tell if you're doing your fake hindi right now and you're saying double double or if what's that i wasn't but that's really funny that's what it sounded like no i'm just saying if somebody asks you for double anything doesn't that seem excessive it's excessive especially during this time where everyone's making it even if they deserve it if your girl wants double the night nights a week that she gets to spend time with you yeah that sounds a lot double yeah that's that's a lot yeah double bro yes yes you don't think that's crazy it's a lot dude i'm in my 40s trust me i want to jerk off two times i can't it's a lot i only go one i got one and that's me doing it that's it and i know how to do it the first class ticket is double the extra leg room ticket right are you paying for that no because it's double yeah if it was 25 more man we could do that it's a great point yeah i'm just saying doubles excessive yeah what you laughing at over there al just your ability to not relate with the normal well he was a flat first class he's an employer so he's going oh let's slow this [ __ ] down let's cut this so far gets out of hand you got a cat you got to cut the snake off i'm trying to relate to people because they would never pay double for the first class ticket but they paid 25 more you would pay 25 more i've seen you go up to the [ __ ] woman at the desk at delta yeah how much of an upgrade for free 59 you'll be like how much for upgrade 50 okay 50 i could do it 100 i could do it 250 maybe you could do it and then it gets to a number where you can't yeah maybe they should do minimum wage just for like corporations i this is my suggestion yeah yeah guys i'm pretty sure it it depends on how many employees work at the company so it's not going to affect small business mark is this a fact i can't confirm it or not nah he's right so there's different there's different levels for so it's not going to hurt mom and pop yeah but i don't like the way they're framing it because they frame it in a way where nobody's gonna support it because if you think about that the democrats kill it it's democrats that killed it but here's the thing because they're all frauds and we'll get to that in a second but don't people already largely supported though of course why wouldn't you most people get paid so why wouldn't you want to get paid more right my point is a senator is gonna have to do what his supporters want him to do right he's gonna have to right no matter what that's just his job it's not what he feels it's what the people who vote for him feel right so now you're putting them in a position where they're gonna have to veto something that they wouldn't have to if it was framed differently if the bill was hey this is just for amazon this is just for walmart and mom and pops you don't have to and if you have under 10 employees it will only go up to eight dollars if that was the bill then maybe those two uh congressmen that ended up videoing or said end up saying no maybe they would be able to because their supporters will go okay i like this but the fact that it's 15 minimum wage the mom and pop shops that are voting for those congressmen are like i will never vote for you again if you make me pay my employees double because they don't even know it's not double their restaurant's not even open right now it's closed and i got to pay double now i got to pay double it doesn't even make sense come on bro i mean you know and [ __ ] you know cuomo's got you know cuomo's got a [ __ ] rape case yo that cuomo [ __ ] yeah let's talk about that cuomo [ __ ] all i gotta say is cases are going up in new york city i love that that was a great tweet loki those are some lion-ass [ __ ] bro you think so lion-ass [ __ ] it's convenient timing in it no i just i don't care it's convenient-ass timing that the second the second cuomo stock starts to drop get these aids whose career is tied to cuomo's success whose political careers tied to success are like oh i gotta get out of this [ __ ] before it sinks that guy said dirty words to me i would i would agree with you if he didn't touch somebody right no but he wore he wears nipple rings i don't trust anyone who wears sniffer chimp he's a chimp yeah but and he's a sexual deviant sure right maybe but it doesn't mean he's a [ __ ] rapist probably maybe he says don't know the facts yo maybe he said some crazy [ __ ] to them what i don't understand is why didn't we hear about this earlier why is this just popping up now that's always it always like when he was captain corona and he was about to be the next president all those aides were like i'll deal with some flirty talk because i'm going to get a position but don't get a position in the government and the second that [ __ ] getting feasted on by the media vultures immediately what happens immediately right oh yeah he said some inappropriate [ __ ] to me i need to get out devil's advocate please go maybe when he's everybody's beloved what the [ __ ] is he governor yeah i don't know governor ruin the greatest city in the west yeah yeah ruin the greatest city sucks but maybe at that time when everybody's praising him you're like man everybody loves this guy nobody's gonna believe me i can't [ __ ] go at this guy and then when you see him be vulnerable you're like oh now people might understand this guy but usually he's a phony piece of [ __ ] all right guys we'll take a break for a second because some of you guys have uh nagging chronic pain and you shouldn't have to live like that and if you're in your 30s you've got nagging pain you've got nothing so here's the reality omax health has this amazing product okay and it's called cryofreeze all right it is a roll-on it's developed by omax they have this new sport formulation includes a deeply penetrating a potent punch of 8.5 of fda approved menthol levels to instantly ice out and block pain receptors reduce inflammation and improve muscle and joint flexibility basically it makes you stop feeling like [ __ ] okay best part it's natural oh 100 unnatural 100 natural so you're not putting all these like goofy chemicals in your body that could be doing long-term damage you have natural things that are easing your pain and making you live an enjoyable life this is a no brainer all right you have to do it if you have nang chronic pain you must try it again no brainer okay now omax health is offering our listeners 20 off a full bottle of cryo-free sport pain relief roll-on this discount also applies towards any product site-wide so just go to omaxhealth.com today and enter the promo code flagrant that's omax health.com enter the promo code flagrant you get 20 off cryofree sport and anything else sight wise i'm telling you i was boxing back got torn the [ __ ] up i put this on night and day it is literal night and day also if you have all this pain you have nothing to lose okay don't go out there taking oxies and getting a [ __ ] drug addiction and selling your mom's house for pennies to feed it what you do is you go get this lovely crow freeze 100 natural works in five minutes lasts up to eight hours save your mom's house all right let's get back to the show yo check it i mean i just see shots on a tightrope walk around like this am i gonna relate to that so i'm a gang member i'm a blood i knew he was in a mood when he started with i thought r b standing for renting blacks that's obviously a joke i mean you owned there was paperwork this wasn't a good job this was not an airbnb this was mortgage refinancing i feel real real like conflicted about slavery because it's so wrong but it's also such good deals what do you mean like as if you're like a woke indian you'd be like yo this is foul what they're doing to these black people but also what a bargain so we don't know the prices bro i can't i can't imagine they were getting fair value yeah i mean nobody no it wasn't fair can i make a point right now okay here we go do you think you would have been able to get a netflix show if your views were like 80 000 saying what we just said or like do you think it's even possible or do you think you know what i'm saying like you've got to be in the millions to be able to i got jokers like this i got offered netflix when our numbers are less yeah but but i said no to it but that was because my stand-up numbers were crazy right so the podcast was different right yeah but yeah you guys need to build up to get also to do what we did on netflix you need to be right you need to be to do it your way exactly because we just did it completely our way right right and shouts to them for supporting that and if you look at all the history of the shows that have worked hold on we were having a lot of fun talking i'm sorry what was it yeah good deals oh yeah we don't even know the deal i had this thought alex loved the change in topic no no no no no this is something i really thought about i'll be mistreating black people yo there was a black kid at the show yesterday i wouldn't even talk to them i didn't even offer him a pepsi oh it's a small picture coca-cola he said do you want a coca-cola to the guy and i was like i knew you were a fraud bro it was a southern black it's a regional thing it's a regional you've had a rough couple decades huh 23. they've had a rough cut since they killed jesus it's been kind of rough whoa that's been a rough that was whoa did they do that yeah people don't get over that but it's like [ __ ] move on but let go but let's work out huh it worked out it did work out for christians it really worked out like not for jews not for jews [Applause] ass [ __ ] bro that's like canadians got the english [ __ ] queen on their money that's the equivalent like catholics we're shooting another religions guy yeah you like god when you're a cross yo you need your own guy bro well we have god and you got virgin mary [Laughter] [Applause] how do you know that though because historically jesus had a couple brothers nobody cares about them but he had brothers what were his brother's name who knows nobody knows martin luther king siblings either but yeah what i was it barry john john i think yeah nobody was if you name a martin luther king sibling right now i will give you the ten dollars in my wallet it's martin luther king jr yeah right there's malcolm luther but mary took dicks omar absolutely [Laughter] that sucks when you're when your sibling is that famous you just become like a google maps face like you know when you ever go on google maps and people just blurt out you're just a sibling of but how do we know for a fact that jesus had brothers because history dogs but no no we don't know for a fact jesus existed that's blasphemy that's people asking don't we no he existed you haven't seen the prince bro have you seen the blessings i haven't seen prince but i know he existed yeah but you have seen prince i've seen the [ __ ] red corvette maybe that was dave chappelle playing prince i don't know all i'm trying to say is we don't know for a fact jesus existed well you never went through hard times and looked down at the sand and there was only one set of focus i have i was being carried by jesus only one set of footprints [Laughter] [Music] if you're alone on the beach there should be only one set of footprints yeah why is that weird like nobody's on the beach and they see one set of footprints and they're like something's wrong here yeah something's up i've been walking alone and i see proof of that yeah so yeah like explain that it's supposed to he carries you during hard times there was times you're walking without talking with god yeah and then when during tough times what i'm saying is what i'm saying is blasphemy is what you're saying no no no no no no i'm the ultimate believer yeah because what is christianity about love forgiveness faith faith and ferraris there might be no proof right that jesus existed but i have faith i don't need truth because i have faith you feel me right you feel me yeah because you out here like all history history history but you got no proof we got no proof that pythagoras even invented trying yeah right yes triangles could have been invented way before pythagoras well if you ask israelites they'll tell you it wasn't they'll be like yo they stole all that [ __ ] they stole all that because i please believe the first person to invent a triangle yeah probably figured that out yeah yeah because back then that's all you had to do yeah you didn't wake up and check twitter instagram for your mentions you were looking at your new toy the triangle right and you were looking at all those angles you were analyzing all those angles and you started to realize oh this should look a little more isosceles right that's a good point that's all i'm trying to say is pythagoras was probably the one that had maggarius right yo pythagoreas was probably the one that had access to a stone or some [ __ ] to write his name in it like he figured it out that's right yeah parallel thinking right oh [ __ ] yeah yeah i always wondered that's a good point because i always wondered like they say alexander the great was in the front was he really he was was he leading his troops how come he's not dead because you die in the no no he was very good you don't limb back interest very good bro that guy was good and that's why he's actually great to be honest with you was he bisexual oh yeah war forever are you going to split cheeks i mean just it was just in fact the fact that he's bisexual probably means he wasn't raping tons of women like those vikings no he didn't do that too he wrote a little boy yeah wait what that's what they did no women like you what in the woody allen documentary are you talking about boys greece [ __ ] little boys everybody did whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa don't normalize you're normalizing i mean every empire you see it the ottomans did it my grandfather was sent to egypt by his family because they were afraid that uh turkish sultan was going to rape him because we were occupied by the ottomans so they were true they would yeah they would take the little boys and they would rape them so you guys would rape your own kinidos was like a thing that was like the ottomans did a touch too i mean what's it it's like a relationship like a teacher and a like a little boy and you would [ __ ] how do you even know that dog yeah dead ass they just learned this in college and i don't know why i never what college is that uh liberal arts school yeah one thing he remembers from [ __ ] god except for canada because we used to call each other before you asked them i took it every guy in our school would just call each other they made you take this class called the heritage of western culture and then we studied the greeks that was the one thing we all are the best when like intellectuals give you a new word for maggot yeah and then you just that's all we do look at this yo so you guys are the most famous gays you think like in a way i appreciate marisa moore i think the panel things they didn't see it there they go the other way very there's a lot of homophobia because they've got to fight back again yeah they've got it that's how yeah yeah it is you know you go the other way with it you know like that's what coaches do like i think you guys were so gay that now you have to be homophobic to balance out i think that's what it is i think the germans are very friendly over friendly to jews now do you think a little too much no maybe it's a little too much yeah yeah yeah well fake we know how you really feel oh you think they still harvest i mean i mean where does that come from i know where it comes from i think we all know where it comes where does it come from why they're so nice to jews no no no no i'm saying like what they did like where did that come from that came from i think is jealousy and envy because jews are just killing it oh yeah jews kill it and it's like really poor they're poor as [ __ ] yeah so i mean that's where conspiracy theories always come from people who have no power no leverage that's that's where that's where conspiracies go it must be something else it's like now the dude you know yeah he had he he used some nepotism to give it to his son but we all do that everybody does it everyone does nepotism cronyism yes of course yeah i think they're just kind of a weird kind of you know they try [ __ ] they just sacked rome they sacked rome the germanic tribes they got something in them where they just want to it's just kind of you see it they want to just take [ __ ] yeah it's like you know and their food stinks they they pay no attention to artistic stuff pleasurable that's not true they're food talking about germans the way black people talk about all white people when you go to a table they've got no rhythm you tell me you go to like [ __ ] you go to a four-star german [ __ ] restaurant and they serve you ballpark food you tell me you're walking out and giving up [ __ ] [ __ ] heaven you're gonna you're gonna write a positive a positive [ __ ] review you're gonna say yeah the frankfurter and applesauce was delicious i'll tell you what if they said hey you want to get into that oven or you want to eat this for dinner i'm saying put me in the [ __ ] oven just serve me a [ __ ] frank and call it a [ __ ] cuisine now maybe they don't have um traditional like dinner maybe it's because their ovens are already being used for other things that's a good point that is a good point i didn't think of that no but in terms of like ovens were taken philosophy in terms of like classical music and stuff there's an undeniable connection between the germans and art that we obviously don't see because of the atrocities of world war ii but germans austrians is the same ethnic people but they tried to be good like the austrians came here and hitler was austrian i know but he was trying to go to germany he's self-hating he was also a little bit jew i mean isn't it weird that the guy who was advocating for superior first of all it's weird that you're advocating for superiority and that's your cuisine as frankfurters but that's a side point but he was advocating for superiority for guys that look like marky and he looked like me yeah but wouldn't you believe it even more if the guy who's not you tells you it's the truth it's a little hypocritical it's hypocritical but if anything you believe it more it's like when the waiter says that one of the items on the menu is bad you're like oh i really believe you because this is supposed to be your thing and you're telling me it's not as good as it should be i'm not following that example at first but he brought it together so like for example like when the waiter you ask a waiter like hey is the state good and then he goes i'll be honest with you steak is trash now i trust that waiter right because he's saying this is whack yeah if an aryan says they're the best it's like of course of course you want to believe that because you're aryan but if someone who's not aryan goes yo you guys are the best right this is what it is and you're feeling super insecure and broke because we straight bodied them [ __ ] you know they bent them over aerial swat you know we stank adventure of his anal swamps yes also my name is schulz that is german it's fun but i was here before they got bad yeah are you you don't have you're scottish though a mom scottish dad is irish and german yeah you go oh you got a little like my irish and german side was in america in like 1800s right after the whole thing now right right you were one of those like pauper like 1880s it was perfect timing like germans were still like oh those are the smart guys they're philosophers in europe some bad ideas were coming real talk germany peaked like 1910 if the world stops in 1910 people people literally go those germans were absolutely brilliant right isn't that true they well they made a few comebacks like they're they're the biggest economy in europe now but in our lifetime and future life they'll never there needs to be mark and i were talking about this the other day like what did we what did we liken awful things and awful people to prior to hitler right there had to be a hitler before hitler and who would you say it was it was napoleon it was napoleon right like oh literally you were the napoleon of in the same way that we would use hitler right and they need another hitler to come out before they don't have that stink on them anymore right let's hope it doesn't happen i hope it doesn't happen but nothing can recover from that right without something replacing it right because we'll just continue to use it in common vernacular oh you're a nazi about soup yeah right i think he also proved that evil is more powerful than good because he's much more famous than charlie chaplin both had the same mustache it's banned because of him but how come people don't go hey it was a good [ __ ] charlie chaplin how prolific is hitler yeah that's a good point he didn't put up those types of numbers yeah they put out numbers yeah numbers on the board yeah yeah yeah amber and style yeah but if it's all about numbers i mean stalin put up better numbers russia out the history books bro well yeah listen this was a good history discussion we're gonna pay some bills all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because uh coveted spring break is coming around and you know what that means you gotta trim them pubes yeah i know you're supposed to stay home but you know a lot of you were going that way for a spring break i said it way weird but i'm not gonna stop it okay you're going away you're probably coming down to miami maybe you go in other parts of florida maybe you're going to tulum maybe you're staying exactly where you are but you want your dick and balls to look good and there's one way to make it look good all right shave it it's that simple i was going to say something a little bit more dirty but let's go shave it shave it down manscape is the only way you're gonna shave it's the only thing i use besides the fact that it's the best equipment okay yes it's the best equipment hands down besides facts gonna take care of your dick and balls and make them look beautiful and your girl's gonna appreciate the girl you haven't even met yet is gonna appreciate it's gonna set the tone for all the 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we're back we don't need to get back into that uh history [ __ ] right [ __ ] history it's over you know history's over industry's over right now we're making history yes okay so let's talk about how everybody got canceled even inanimate objects got canceled this week yeah mr potato head finally finally yes this is one of those things where i'm like are they doing this for the publicity yes yeah they have to be right like all you this is literally the [ __ ] [ __ ] is a button if a company wants publicity for something that is dying right they literally have no nothing to lose the product either dies yeah or it bumps back into popularity right so it either dies because nobody's buying it anyway yeah it dies because of the training connection and people being really upset about it or you make tons of money because all of a sudden mr potato head gets cool i think it's kind of like tv it's a last last-ditch effort to guilt you into getting it yeah yeah like tv's going trying to get whoa because it's like nobody's watching tv so they're going like here's the thing we can do let's make people feel like they are morally obligated you know janna said this to me back in the day i thought it was so funny that like a uh tv is acting like a nightclub that's going out of business yeah yeah like when nightclubs go out of business they start going all right here's latin night here's gay night here's spanish night they like tap into these really specific niche groups and they're like we're just going to get all the money that we possibly can and then we're going to close the [ __ ] door yeah it's a final cash grab yeah and you can see the numbers the numbers are just like but who's buying mr potato head for the wokeness of it so here's where i think they [ __ ] up they should have gone conservative with it we're keeping mr mr mrs potato head because we believe there's only two genders liberals would cancel it but they don't buy anything anyway liberals aren't buying their kids potato head dogs conservative ceo these guys are sticking to their guns saying [ __ ] you to pc culture i'll buy every [ __ ] mr potato head proudly it's like the goya beans [ __ ] morgan whale in that [ __ ] yeah yeah conservatives treat things that to support their values like indians treat indian comics they support they come out the country guy that said morgan whalen yeah yeah just [ __ ] [ __ ] through the roof number one selling artists in the world apparently to the moon bro gamestop yo i mean look at jordan peterson's book is like nine million or something i mean he's selling millions of copies yeah in canada it's like number one he sent me a copy yeah i said uh you want to come on the pot to talk about it and then the pr firm was like oh ask him i never heard back yeah not reading your book jordan not until your balls drop and you sound like a man [Laughter] well let's talk about you know sounds like a [ __ ] eunuch 12 rules for life let me say here it's about it's about cleaning your room clean your room fluff your pillows you'll feel better with fluffy pillows i mean we live in an era where you can sell [ __ ] tons of books all you gotta tell people is like there's two there's two sexes and people go hi he's a genius yeah isn't that crazy the most famous philosopher on the planet by going i think guys are guts how many dudes on the corner have been saying the exact same thing no 12 rules for life nothing yo if you got a [ __ ] yeah you're a girl two rules guys are guys girls or girls if you don't ignore that if you actually don't ignore that one athlete that's three feet taller than the other ones and was born with a dick you're a genius book like a masterpie album like he would just put more songs on his [ __ ] than everybody else because you would just buy it if there's more songs jordan peterson got two rules guys are guys girls or girls but he's like we need like 10 more give it 12 so we can sell this book you can't have a two rule book yeah that's true two rules it's too little that's not a book i'm not investing in that 12 rules 12 steps 12 12 at the number 12 isn't enough 12 months of the year how many disciples 12 of them 12 disciples oh yeah how many inches of dick is giannis missing 12. yo 12 bro yo how much how many millions would have history hyenas made if we stayed together 12. how many is chrissy going to make on his own 40 a hundo [Laughter] how many is going to be filing negative 12 might be chapter 11. that's close enough that is so true isn't that crazy like nowadays philosophers and thought leaders are just people saying common sense [ __ ] yeah what does that say about society we've gone so far left or so far right that all you need to do to be an intellectual is say what you already feel greatness is over in fact the attack the the the attack for in the name of morality is a great sentence to start with because what you're going to follow up with it has nothing to do with it but i'm going to listen no it's going to be good okay god i think i know greatness is over i just watched tom brady win a [ __ ] super bowl at 43 years yeah it's over bro yeah i'll throw something okay go no they attacked the attacker starting every sentence with greatness and they're just saying some completely nonsense when they attack you for something you did to try to make you morally pure that in itself is an attack on greatness name me one personally impure you're saying uh impure yeah they want you to be pure yeah yeah name you one great person who was pure michael jackson tom brady's a great example he's michael jackson r kelly michael jackson yeah absolutely pure yeah nothing is more pure yes than the loins of a little boy yes hey the greek you would you [ __ ] feed him like tokens and that's how he achieved his greatness [ __ ] boy tokens put it in the machine and watch him dance that's you're making my point and watch him tom brady's a perfect example he left his pregnant girlfriend for giselle yeah no she tried to trap him so what you banged her up stay like but he thought he could trust her so what you banged her up he votes republican he's bad he's bad right yeah so that's another one that [ __ ] knows how to leave a sinking ship don't he he does and he got out bridget moynihan you got away from her writing time he went to tampa yep i mean this guy i trust his decision making yes and he was ballsy enough to make it he's not loyal how was he not loyal he's been loyal giselle no he's well we don't know that she wasn't loyal to him he said well we got to check his shoes she lied to him she was like yeah i'm on the pill this that the other and then she got knocked up who gizelle no oh the other [ __ ] yeah but yeah i mean she's just google map's face nobody knows about her yeah she has it tom brady's seed that kid could grow up to be something yeah but he's not brady not have anything to do with that kid huh does brady not having anything that kid is always with him i don't know i assume that's one of his brady should ignore him so he has a chance to be great so he has something to conquer now that he's coddling him the kid's not gonna do anything he's gonna end up being a dj on drugs but if you ignore that kid that kid ends up being great look at shaq look at other kids phil is my father he didn't have a real father so he became an animal he became one of the best players shaq shaq had a military step dad yeah but with figures but his father figured but he didn't have a real dad sean king dad doesn't know mysterious light-skinned black guy becomes a great philosopher on the internet activist because he overcame obstacles in order to achieve greatness you got to overcome obstacles yeah it is tough because your people don't overcome you can't overcome options jeff bezos got one eye the other eye is evil no jeff bezos doesn't know his real dad doesn't know his real dad he didn't miss it steve jobs dawg steve jobs steve jobs adopted yeah yeah andrew schultz mother never hugged him mother never hugged me there you go she will dance with you she will yes she did she would replace hugs with dancing mom it worked out you see what i'm saying like greatness and greatness and morality are almost diametrically opposed where you go it seems like greatness and a lack of love are parallel you can't you have to do some dirty [ __ ] in order to achieve greatness i don't know i don't know dirty but i don't know if that's dirty i don't know what tom brady did is dirty tom brady probably was mean to his teammates probably a bunch of teammates love him yeah teammates absolutely love playing with him all right so this story is going on people love minstrels yeah yeah yeah yeah michael jordan won because he was a dick that that greatest of all time you're telling me tom brady's nice that no tom buddy gets in your face and he yells come on dude yeah no i could do it he's harsh yeah he's hard to do that but everybody loves him his teammates all love him everyone loved michael jordan no they didn't oh no that's not really not true well then this then my theory's wrong [Laughter] how is greatness dead huh so your theory is because it's in china you need to be saying because they weren't allowed any more impurity yes so taking out kevin hart it's like you're attacking people who are trying to achieve things yes like trying to take him down it [ __ ] all started with arnold schwarzenegger and people that generation they start you know like [ __ ] billboard has that great joke it's like you don't think he's gonna [ __ ] his mate i mean what are you gonna do you're tiger woods you don't think you don't think he's gonna do that and do uh [ __ ] [ __ ] other people that should have been a cause we felt betrayed by tiger because most of them were ugly huh i think we felt betrayed by it means he's a feminist son means he [ __ ] that's what we're not about he seems depth are you a feminist absolutely yes i think the biggest threat to feminism is women's taste in men the guys they choose that's the biggest keep going keep going they never liked the nice guy yeah he's too nice to go to their girlfriends like i don't know he just you know he's just too respectful yeah like i don't it's no chemistry you know like and then they'll find any reason like he did you know he saw the shirt he was wearing it didn't match the wall in the bar like i like i like michael because you know he [ __ ] i can't you know he challenges me right like you know he's he [ __ ] my girlfriend so i gotta get him you know i gotta cheat it's a con i gotta change so do you feel like you have to be a a an [ __ ] for your wife to love you i'm retired dog i look down at my penis it looks like o.j simpson walking it's just a retired he's got that old running back walk just my knees hurt my dick is retired i'm out of the game out i got clearly dead yeah you know that [ __ ] retired running back walk it looks like that's my i look down it's a grizzled vet you know it's got [ __ ] scars on it so you don't care if she's into you or not i got a wife i love my wife i love my family i wish you my type of success yes it doesn't matter what podcast you have or don't when you love your family oh wow it's the least interesting thing i've said on this podcast because comedy is about saying the wrong thing yes but you didn't answer my question what is your question is do you feel like you need to maintain a certain it was krista's fault okay he wanted bigger things he got in a boat with sal volcano but it's he doesn't know it's the comedy titanic he's trading in true comedy fans for [ __ ] huge fat women with neck fat [Laughter] of course it's a joke what were you saying i'm sorry i've gotten my answer thank you for watching flagrant 2 everybody no mark what else we got what else we got let's go through a couple more feelings no facts yeah do you want to pull up more of these stories yo demi lovato says gender reveal parties are transphobic facts if you believe in trans people a gender reveal party is trans yeah can't you have two though can't you have one when they're born and like do another one when the child when they realize what it is yeah when the child decides for itself i mean the only pushback i would give her is that like 99.9 percent of time you're gonna be right right like maybe we don't have to get rid of that's my only thing with the trans thing is like we don't have to get rid of entire like celebrations or customs if 99.9 of the time usually that's what it is like the whole pronoun [ __ ] like why'd you assume my pronoun because 99.9 of the time when i assume someone's pronoun in life i'm [ __ ] right like it is the most right i've ever been about anything in my life is going how are you sir or how are you missed right i'm usually never matter of fact in my life i've never been wrong right i've talked to trans people yeah and when i see them i'm like okay that's trans i'm not even saying a pronoun oh dude but what if it gets more sophisticated in the future like people start identifying as different genders based on their mood so like when i'm happy i'm like i'm like a little [ __ ] you know i didn't really yeah when i get hungry i'm a [ __ ] alpha male i want to eat yeah you know when i get [ __ ] like catty i'm i'm a female who used to be you know what if it starts getting by mood and so i identify as different things throughout the day based on my mood yeah so then maybe we should just tattoo our pronoun so i don't get misgendered maybe we'll have little screens put on top of her head and then just switch like yeah this is what i identify and she her yeah or just tattoo like a number or something on their wrist something like that yeah you're taking a shower no i'm just saying like this is the thing that and we spoke about this i believe with the capitol riots [ __ ] it's like if you believe what they believe to be true about the world that these politicians are all like lizard people that are like feasting on like children and like drinking their blood yeah storm the [ __ ] capital storm what are you waiting for if you truly believe that to be true about our politicians i want to meet the people who believe that and decided not to storm the capital [ __ ] [ __ ] staying at home like you you truly have invested in your life in this and and you're just gonna let them run the country you're a crazy person the time for action comes and you sit at home you're right if you believe those crazy things about right right those people so if she believes this to be true right if she believes that i guess whatever you feel you are technically a gender-revealed party would be transphobic yeah i don't i don't know though because like even if she does believe in the what she believes yeah you can just say oh yeah we're having a gender reveal party for our baby and then our kid grows up and then says oh i identify as a different gender and then you say all right we're going to do it another gender reveal party that's two reasons yeah like are you worried you're going to convince the kid he's something he's not yeah the kid will know if fifa identifies is insensitivity considered um hateful yeah there's a phobia is fear but we i'm not scared of gay people yeah so we use homophobia interchangeably with hate okay right fair like you're not afraid of gay people but or like people who insensitivity is not fear have based hate or hate in general it's just if it's intentional though sometimes by being insensitive to somebody's plight it could be seen as hateful i i hear what you're saying but i'm just trying to like wrap it in no i know but you can't hurt a baby's feelings that aren't born yet you know we never asked the baby yeah but we don't need to it's not born yet it has no feelings to hurt right now gender reveal parties you're baby phobic yeah you are baby phobic yeah yeah you're a little bit bad that's fine i i swear when i hear stories like this i'm like yo janice is right johnny can take it do it do what you want i mean yeah i'm tired dude the chinese generation [Laughter] there's a right answer and it talks about how dope that is like if you're chinese and you get like your side [ __ ] pregnant that you do have an out yeah she's like i'm keeping the baby and you're like looks like a girl to me there will be no gender reveal party it'll be a gender funeral gender blender jesus oh that's great gender blender is so good that's a great line so uh what did y'all think about jeremy lin uh snitching on the [ __ ] calling him corona fire that [ __ ] is so funny how are you not gonna call him chronovirus right yeah how are you not like if i know you're greek and we're hooping i'm calling you kanitos yeah yeah right a hundred percent you're a kanitos bro yeah you see how he's backing the paint that's how he used to be when he was learning out of pain or whatever they did in greece yeah what if we were greeks painters sculptors uh yeah but yeah they painted sculptures but that was the thing like you know i mean he just minimized it what did you guys do you got i don't know started democracy architecture algebra it's all [ __ ] up god damn it with that like i hate how people act like they invented math bro like people didn't know what the [ __ ] [ __ ] was before you that's you you think they were just looking at things going i don't know how much is on this table impossible we're the greeks still in bed numbers it's the greeks are so [ __ ] arrogant to think they're the only people that could think of counting things we are the we stole it from the egyptians we are the elvis of cultures oh yeah we stole it from the egyptians and egyptians they're the only ones that learned how to count [ __ ] i think it's just them we invented triangles shut up before that's aliens or something anyway how did we get to this i don't remember no jeremiah oh jeremy lin yeah so jeremy lin's out there getting called coronavirus on the court right and he's not even in the nba of course you can get called coronavirus if you're in the g league there's a bunch of guys that are dying to make a team right they're making 30 000 a year barely feed their families maybe it was a compliment like yo you're about to invade the league you're about to really take over [ __ ] yo yeah yeah you're about to change the game yeah lockdown yeah he changed the course of history yeah i know and honestly defending him makes you out of breath yeah you feel like you've got something about chase and jeremy lynn around the corner yo he never had he never had a problem being called insanity yeah right some people might say that that's a little insensitive to mental health yeah he's a veteran now instead of climbing veteran you just call him a long-hauler you know [Laughter] i didn't understand what that was but corona long-haulers no oh [ __ ] good joke actually yeah that's good i thought you were talking like truckers yeah yeah yeah long haul you're on a long night that's right you can test positive for a while no but that's true like isn't it some bitch-ass [ __ ] there's some real bitch-ass [ __ ] like you're playing basketball almost everything's on the table like you can't be there's no like n-word that kind of stuff but like kind of racist [ __ ] goes on a court especially yes white boy luca got called that [ __ ] ass white boy and i can't believe we had a whole [ __ ] apology about that [ __ ] the nba didn't make him do [ __ ] especially if black people are the ones saying it they deserve they have a you have they have like diplomatic immunity white guy calling him corona they got diplomatic immunity black people have diplomatic immunity like diplomats with crime like if you're going to call someone racial certainly black you can do it yeah she's got diplomatic community no the diplomats now are getting anally fisted by the chinese yeah but it's still completely illegal click click boom i like it i read jeremy lin's statement and a lot of the [ __ ] he was like we're not gonna handle stand for this anymore i thought it would be like there's one of you yeah there's one asian community like asian [ __ ] in america in general yeah and most of it i was like this is a big deal to you it's like the way they're represented in movies or some [ __ ] like that it's like bruh talk about the hate crimes i'm with you yeah talk about treating chinese americans poorly because of the virus all right cool and that's [ __ ] up it's you want you trying to treat chinese americans poorly because of the virus you can't obviously do not you know any acts of violence against chinese americans is absolutely disgusting but we're gonna call you chronovirus if we're your friend like you can't tell me i can't be racist with my friends what's the point of friendship what's the point of friendship if i can't call my asian friend coronavirus that's a good point i've probably been calling ronnie chain coronavirus for about six months ever since coronavirus came around i'm like ronnie why would you bring this here it's like yo man you helped me move you were there for me when mom died but yo are we really friends because you never called me corona you can't even trust it if your white friend hasn't called you coronavirus yet can you trust him he's hiding something he's hiding something yeah come on bro just because he don't have any snapbacks on the black dudes that's what it is uh because he can't say anything well he could get dreadlocks remember when he got his little dreadlocks kenyon martin's dumb ass called him out yeah he's like that's cultural appropriation and then jeremy was like dude you have eight characters on youtube i'm just saying it seems like like some soft and then he goes i'm not gonna snitch i'm not gonna say the exact person because ruining that person's life wouldn't be good so what are you saying this for just like some victimhood [ __ ] that's all it is yeah that's it's you that was the beginning of it i think those yeah it's like isn't it isn't that a celebration of the culture if you're doing something especially if you're asian i bet black on the basketball yeah people is he mad because of that or is he mad because for a disc bro like [ __ ] hits yeah right but corona violent he's already back on defense yeah do you know what i mean yeah all right guys we gotta stop for a second because um i need to make sure that your dicks are giving you the most value that they possibly can and frankly i know for a fact that they're not because some of you guys out there for whatever [ __ ] reason are not chewing it up you're not chewing it up the blue chew is here to provide you a powerful penis for you and your loved ones and by loved ones i just mean your wife or your girlfriend or your side chick or the chicks you're dating nobody that you're related to ideally okay but blue chew is the greatest invention in human history yeah i'll say that right now i'll say that right now it might be the greatest invention in human history satisfying not only you but your woman or your man however you use it i don't [ __ ] care blue chew same active ingredients as inside viagra cialis all that other good stuff but this is the blue chew baby it's a whole different ball game and it's the only ball game that we play matter of fact if you use some blue chew properly your girl is going to be playing a whole different ball game i promise you so what you're going to do is go to bluechew.com okay you know bluetooth.com you're gonna use the promo code flagrant and you're gonna get your first month for free yeah bluetooth.com first month for free that's a no-brainer use the promo code flagrant all you gotta do is pay five dollars shipping go have the weekend of your life the month of your life do whatever you want and you're welcome let's get back to the show also guys we're both on tour man tickets are available right now you go to the andrews.com and um i would go there quite quickly because they're selling out fast uh you know some rock star [ __ ] hey man things are pretty good damn things are pretty good yeah i'm liking it uh salt lake is sold out clumsy sold out nashville sold out um atlanta might be sold out and raleigh might be sold look go check right now we also got west palm beach phoenix and tampa those are going fast the tour starts this coming up weekend so make sure you go there immediately uh we're not adding shows i would get those tickets right now right now right now and uh cos what you got coming up yo i am at helium this week in philly not sold out y'all got time to buy tickets we're gonna get there though march fourth through six i'm doing three heliums guys this is exciting march four through 6th i'm ed helium march 18th through the 20th i'm at helium and st louis helium and philly march 4th through 6th and we just added this uh april 15th through april 17th i'm at helium in portland so guys scoop up tickets let's go let's rock out let's have fun akash singh.com uh what else we got give us another watch the woody allen doc woody allen documentary should there be a statute of limitations for hit pieces no like can you just keep on profiting off of making hit pieces on people that were accused of things and then proven innocent it's a good point like there's no double jeopardy when it comes to uh i guess the conviction right like if you are innocent like oj cannot get tried again at least not like yeah but this is like because he got away with marrying one daughter yeah and now it's like i well you got away with one crime so we're gonna get you on some other [ __ ] so basically what they're trying to say is is this they're trying to say uh i think it's like woody allen versus dylan farrow or something like that and allegedly he molested his daughter dylan farrow and they did some study they yale this that the other and they concluded that dylan was not molested by woody but then some shady [ __ ] happened where they like threw out the records or burned the records or burned the evidence of the interviews and all that kind of stuff afterwards and then the prosecutor said later on that he thought woody did do it but he didn't want to put dylan through the experience of like going to trial and he thought it'd be really traumatic for so obviously there's a lot of [ __ ] up [ __ ] and then he marries his 14 year old asian chick or she's 17 or something when they get married whatever it is but his adopted daughter there's a lot of weird [ __ ] with woody allen great nate mcintosh line what is it you can't adopt something and then [ __ ] it you just can't shout to nathan magnus you can't adopt something and then [ __ ] but did cam you cam though you did it he did yeah he did but people are people try to be like yo but she was old enough yeah no you can't adopt something and then [ __ ] yeah you're morally right and wrong is not cool he didn't really sure he didn't technically adopt her though older dudes who have a sugar baby that's the same as adopting them you take care of their entire life yeah but not when they're [ __ ] three years old yeah if you get a sugar baby when they're a baby yo but but jonas made a good ass point what he never adopted her no no it was mia farrell's adopted daughter mia farrell and woody allen were dating they lived in different houses he was i guess kind of a father figure based on his girlfriend was her mother but he cheated on her with her and then let's be honest they've been together now longer than most people who have appropriate beginnings is that punishment enough that he's got to spend the rest of his life with this for so that we don't think dude jews love asians man the ivy league has been bringing jews and asians together since 1930 like they really like they go after each other old cultures you know interesting they're used to small penises they both understand algebra and all that [ __ ] it's a real they just vibrate like people are that smart [ __ ] different yeah you know that like we're mediocre stupid people so we stroke to try to get the dumb sperm up we try to give it a head start and that's why we pump but because nature doesn't want us to reproduce so we have to kind of help it yeah but smart people like that just hold each other and vibrate he knows kamasutra [ __ ] you just vibrate like when mark zuckerberg [ __ ] i assume her name's mrs chow or chang or something when they [ __ ] they just they hold each other and vibrate and then god or nature just takes the sperm and shoots it in because they want to make more genius people because it's evolution they're smarter than us yeah so they just vibrate they just hold each other like that i'm telling you dog i researched this [ __ ] yeah where did you research it internet dog and then it got some [ __ ] out yeah it's got some [ __ ] on there bro akash is this true i'm starting to feel like krista stefano right now what is that i had enough what's going on right now there's too many good jokes true about the kamasutra i don't know i haven't read the comments that's a waste bro have you not read the [ __ ] yeah one thing that's like a dude who's tall and you don't hoop it's like you're indian bro you should be a [ __ ] that's the jiu jitsu a [ __ ] you don't know yeah man but i'm gonna do it you're you need it but i probably can't do most of that [ __ ] you seen a couple of pictures i would love mild [ __ ] they're doing y'all yeah but that [ __ ] have some common sense is it written or is it it's written pictures you can study it it's the jujitsu of [ __ ] it's like you could you know you're it makes you could get like a black belt in it and [ __ ] good they figured out like the martial arts of [ __ ] and we're all ignoring it because [ __ ] we can't see past their food being spicy or whatever it is you know what i mean it's like what's going on it doesn't make sense there's a lot of indians yeah yeah they must have been doing it right yeah and they're pieces too the women are [ __ ] pieces [Laughter] amazing amazing culture brilliant smart people akash is a good looking kid amazing looking men yeah great eyes eyes yeah phenomenal you know nice sandals women mutants that is an evil ass laugh there's like dr evil on mushrooms guys are attracted in no i think akash has put this in my in me sandra no he loves indian he loves indian women more than anything indian he married anyone but he'll only be with indian but he hates it when white guys specifically date indians yeah so i think he put this in me in some way he like inceptioned right yeah yeah an allergy yeah yeah yeah because i love everything indian big fan of the culture big fan of the people obviously love the food grew up on indian food right yeah i mean i grew up in couple that's when i moved to new york boom i grew up a couple blocks from sixth street where a little indian oh yeah right yeah but he put something in me he inceptioned something great cab drivers too they're good they're good at that i'm just mentioning something they're good at i mean of all yeah things we could say about indian i don't think cab dude if you need to get to laguardia in 42 minutes it is though they'll make it happen you'll fear for your life but they'll make it happen when you go to india you won't even feel like it's offensive like no i see how we [ __ ] nice yeah hell yeah they're nice okay yeah lightweight yeah much more successful get into a cab with a fat black uh white woman see how quick to make it to laguardia just trying to make it equal she's half black half white do you all remember when we were shooting the schultz studios sketch yeah and they walked in and chrissy says one thing can you look to see if you can find it i'll find it dude yada says one last i can't i'm not gonna say it we'll get back to it when you had it do it yeah i remember it but he basically had one of those brain farts [Laughter] so yeah something's there but i'm working on it right i'm working on it akash yeah he don't got to bro he'd be you no you did this to me probably and i love it i'm not gonna be accountable for what you did today i'm so proud of myself [ __ ] are you gonna hate indian women soon too dawg i love you i don't hate indiana i love india i love everybody i love everybody especially women every culture has beautiful women everyone every single one except for san antonio the world is full of shoes at charles barkley yeah he called it and he called it i went there i was like holy [ __ ] this isn't dude they are big i mean they look like they have an actual city ordinance where they don't let you build more than three stories because if a fat woman goes to the top she could cause she could cause a solar eclipse dog they're like [ __ ] planets they're circles i'm telling you buildings can only be so tall so you can't because if you get if they get too high they block the sun big people you've never seen [ __ ] people that big what's uglier uh san antonio or san francisco okay hold on we have the video and i sent it to you you have said it to me but do we want to play it right here can we play right there yeah san francisco got it it's a good one i [ __ ] god dude they don't take care of themselves in san francisco oh yeah i want to see this video i just want to make sure that we get this all out uh this is this is great you ready to go you need a couple more myths okay let's do another topic uh before we get out of here what more do we have uh marquito lady gaga situation well we can move on for that or whatever oh yes zlatan versus lebron are you familiar with this yes zlatan ibrahimovic is a legendary soccer player has played soccer at the highest levels he dominated at the highest levels i don't know if he said it won a championship per se did he win with barcelona the guy in the world cup no that was inner dean's a dumb okay yeah yeah frenchman this guy's swedish well he's he's like yugoslavian right immigrant to sweden right sweden really tough life grew up poor street kid found salvation through soccer so he's not like some rich swede who's just yapping off right and he's like one of the most cocky people on the planet and very charismatic and levy jokes a lot yeah people love him yeah charismatic um and he basically told lebron uh shut up and dribble yeah but he said focus on what you're good at either you shouldn't be involved in politics don't say things about politics we'll get up in a second you should you look like him a little bit i'll take it you look like everybody's laughing you do yeah so uh and then he basically says focus on what you're good at which is obviously the sport don't involve yourself in politics because you don't know about it right and obviously the knee-jerk reaction is you know i you know lebron is i'm do i do my googles i'm research i know what i'm saying blah blah blah but i have noticed a transition in how lebron frames his activism post nba china issue right because lebron used to do what a lot of people do when they become activists which say basically say uh what is it a inequality anywhere is a threat to equality everywhere yeah or injustice anywhere is a threat to justice right that's the quote martin luther king yes and they take that and they take that premise and they attach it to everything and then they have to be an activist for everything yep and everybody's a hypocrite if you go further enough down the line right like everybody has the phone that's made by the slaves everybody has the clothes that are made by the kids in the sweatshops we're all hyper because you can't be a total activist you can't be a total vegan a total animal rights activist because an animal has been doing something for you and you are connected to that abuse of that animal or that human being right right so after the whole china thing comes out i think it almost reminds lebron that like oh there's certain things that he's okay there's certain inequalities that he is a hundred percent okay about right for the right amount of money right like four millions of dollars treat chinese people however the [ __ ] you want is basically what he said right and then his focus kind of evolved to i just care about my community and i'm a stand up for my community which i don't knock because i love that it's literally the only real way to be an an advocate or an activist without getting too much pushback if you go um for equality over here immediately you get dice apart if you go yo i just ride from my team that's all i care about i know there's other people out there who got [ __ ] up they gotta ride for their team and get people to ride for them but i can't solve all the world's problems i just got to solve mine i i honestly think that's the safest position to be it's the safest but isn't there a point at which it's like yo they got [ __ ] concentration camps over there like that's not you could be quiet about some crazy injustice yeah but what's lebron going to do about that especially if same city does it say something yeah but the the nba makes a lot of money in china it's part of his contract he probably can't say anything yeah you know i guess what i'm saying is like once you take that corporate money dog you can't have a podcast anymore these are all come on man it's that we're all joking i mean you know it was it was it was a mutual decision move [Laughter] he keeps on bringing it back no but seriously isn't it kind of the same thing it's kind of like he he works for the nba the nba makes a trillion dollars in china everything makes movie business there would be no money in rocks movies as it was everything makes money in china yes because that's where the money is that's where the growing middle class is that's where everything is made yes that's where the tiger mom philosophy is that's where all the stem research is being they're just crushing us we don't want to admit it yet we're jordan on the wizards dog hang them up stop stop you stop stop you're acting crazy demi lovato stories make me think giannis is right we're not going nowhere we're not going nowhere all right guys let's take a break for a second let's talk about kratom now if you've never heard of kratom it's an herbal supplement kind of like cbd but instead of coming from the hemp plant kratom is from a plant related to the coffee tree kratom is a complete game changer for millions of people it's one of those things that if you use it you swear by it kratom is great for energy support some people use it as a substitute for coffee or before a workout it's also great for managing stress and getting you the relief that you need to power through a physical day but the thing is kratom you got to trust the kratom that you're taking that's right there's different kratoms out there there's a lot of shady kratom so you got to be very careful i mean someone has salmonella mold even lead nasty nasty stuff the only brand of kratom that you should trust is super especially 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you get 20 off all right guys let's get back to the show all right we this has been far too long already but uh before we get out of here i do want to talk about one more thing and that is doing stand-up again we did these shows miami thank you so much for coming out man it's [ __ ] unbelievable and thank you for selling out these shows so goddamn fast it is uh incredibly uh flattering man thank you and we did these shows we had great lineup on these shows akash mark there uh some miami locals you know kyle grooms pulled up man uh cisco's out there we got will lopez on the show david lucas david lucas oh my god david came through man we had tony hinchcliffe on another one so they were they were just [ __ ] dope but uh i didn't realize until i started doing stand-up again how much time in my day while i was not performing that stand-up consumed like i really forgot about that and the other day i was just like hanging out in the house and i was just writing jokes again and like thinking about ways to get into jokes and out of jokes and segway and i hadn't done that probably in over a year because all the preparation for joke writing was for netflix or for the rants or just for like ideas for the pod and i was having so much fun by myself just sitting down and thinking of like crazy ideas right and the reason i bring it up is because when i wasn't doing stand-up i would be really locked in when we were creating the rants or we're doing something when i had a task to do and then after the task i'd be like what should i [ __ ] work on okay maybe i'll find a new project or maybe i'll put but it felt almost like there was a void i forgot how much time and how how much purpose stand-up gave me because there's never a time in my life now that i'm back to stand up and before for the last like 13 years where something wasn't potentially a joke something horrible that went wrong maybe it was a bit something incredibly embarrassing how do i turn this into something oh that's a funny uh that's a funny reference maybe i could put that into something it filled my whole [ __ ] day like in the same way that people like who are trying to like save the environment i imagine their whole day is figuring out new ways where they can save the environment it really fills you up it gives every second of the day some sort of purpose and it's not like active work it's not like building a house or something like that but it's something to keep your mind occupied and i just remembered it was like i don't know i think mark you said something it was like a like a long lost love or something like that like you're reunited again you're like oh [ __ ] i forgot how much i love spending time with you and it's the time off stage i never i forgot how fun off state like i just thought of we don't even we barely said in the last year yo that's a bit that's yeah we just said it on the podcast all the time yo that's a bit you gotta make that a bit yeah i think it's been particularly hard on us because we like stand-up is like an addiction yeah like we've been in like rehab yeah i just love that we're back as stand-up because we were talking about this last night but like we're stand-ups yeah i think a lot of people don't realize like we are stand-ups that do other things we podcast we put our [ __ ] clothing line we'll do crazy videos we'll do little viral content but we are stand-ups that's what you do that's your main [ __ ] that's we came up as this is but it's not like we left it this is what we do it was forced out of our hands yeah and i love the fact that we're all getting back into stand-up because it's just this reminder of what what the reel is you know what i mean like it's very easy to create um i don't know how to like phrase this but like it's very easy when you get away from the thing that we're all in together it's very easy to get lost in each of those things right like even for ourselves like even when we were doing the rants and we weren't doing any stand up i was like oh this is really fun you know this is like really cool we could continue to do this etc and it was great don't get me wrong i had a great time doing it but after doing stand-up again it just was this it just reminded me i was like oh no no this is the thing because there's consequences there's a cost for something not going good it's even more of a thrill it's even more of a tight rope walk yeah it's ephemeral it's also the hardest thing yeah like i want to be the best at the hardest thing yeah you're alone up there yeah you gotta do it you have to deliver it and it's so cool to be part of that there are other things that you could be the best at but there is like for example if i do the best rant that's not on me mark was writing on it robbie was writing on it fa you know i mean we had a team of people that are helping so it's like but when you're up there and you're doing stand-up man it's your own stuff it's a different [ __ ] ball game and it's the best it is [ __ ] pure and it's connection with other humans in a way like a laugh is like oh we all have that in common it crosses cultural boundaries yes it it brings people together it's uh it's a unifier it's a unifier and i'm not knocking other things i think sketch is cool i like sketch is cool acting's boring but you can see some really cool acting stuff but like there's something about stand up especially like you said you are we are stand-ups you either are a stand-up or you're not yeah and you know if you and if you are a stand-up it's just that's it there's nothing else exactly if you're not a stand-up you can yeah you don't get it like but like if you take this from us and we put us back there it's like oh and this would be telling like the [ __ ] that don't go back to stand up they were never stand-ups yeah right they were doing stand-up as a means to get somewhere and the [ __ ] that go back to stand up those are the ones that are the real ones yeah so we're back in the game i just i it feels like we're back in the game man i just love it we got to admit though it's changed what's that as far as like what can make your career it's changed a little bit if you're a young comic coming up now it used to be like hey get your stand up on television or yeah now it's kind of like hey man use the internet you know and then you know do stand up but yeah are you explaining this to me no that's what you're saying that's one a good idea might be to like do clips or like uh put your special out on youtube but not even stand up but it's like you know what i'm saying it's like i'm just saying a one caveat to like stand up his back is that like we're kind of grandfathered in but the kids growing up yeah are they as enthusiastic they get it they're more enthusiastic about santa every one of these kids growing up has their own uh [ __ ] dslr camera that they're taking to shows that you know have a zoom that they can get the audio from the show they're cooking up their own clothes let me know the internet they don't watch tv the new generation does everything themselves the new generation is the [ __ ] what is this three-headed monster or whatever it is they can edit they can shoot they can do absolutely because they understand that's what they need to do in order to be successful in this that was the caveat i was saying it's like you just can't only do stand-up the way we did to come up yeah but yes he's saying the new generation yeah they're already doing it right there's more you have to do now right that's the only difference now is you got to do more you got to be nice as [ __ ] stand up and you got to figure out how to edit and you got to figure out how to shoot until you're successful enough where you could hire [ __ ] to do that and if you don't want that you don't want to play the game that's what yeah symbols it's like these [ __ ] in the nba that don't want to diet yeah you got all the skills but you don't want to diet bro you don't want to cut out bread you don't want it enough why you gotta do big baby like that son big baby you don't want enough you're not spending a million dollars on your body big baby yeah you know lebron out here spending a million on his body yes and if you spend a million on your body you probably still be in a league making 15 million a year yes that'd be a good investment isn't it yeah i'll spend a million to make 14. yes yeah i mean you so i don't want to hear nothing from comics oh we have to do all this other [ __ ] you're lucky we didn't have that [ __ ] when we were young we didn't have the opportunity we gotta hope to get a special hope to get something it's kind of crazy when you hear comics complain about it it's like what do you want to go back to it when there's three spots and now it's wide open no it's just lazy is it they is they there are people who complain i remember seeing you sell out the times square art center remember the time square art center yeah i remember you selling that out with that and that [ __ ] was like oh that's what i want i don't want to deal with no networks nothing i want that i want direct connection to the people and i want to sell out these shows and once i do that i could have everything then i saw you get montreal and all these other things i was like oh everybody comes once the people come to you right oh the people are the thing that you have to be connected to and everybody who i've everybody who i've seriously [ __ ] with in my career are people who have deep connections with the people right charlemagne duvall you you know rogan all these guys that i'm really connecting with they're all about people to creator connectivity no middleman nothing right and then if we want to go dance on netflix let's go dance absolutely i'll take the people over there yeah if we want to go dance somewhere else then we go dance somewhere else that's fine but they all got to come back to here and what's on stage and you took what you do and brought it to netflix exactly which was great to see you know it was like you were doing that already and they were like we're buying that thing you're doing you know so that was like it's kind of a continuation of what you're already doing just 100 yeah and we would have done it otherwise if we couldn't do the exact thing we wanted to do we went because this is what we were saying earlier we owe it to the people who support us i can't lie to you i can't give you a product that is misleading i can't tell you that i'm this guy and this is what i stand for and then give you a product that is none of that i have to be flagrant i have to be um i mean obviously i have to be funny but i have to be consistent in what i'm for lack of a better word selling yeah and the second you're not consistent is that's when they eat you alive i love you you lied to me bro i love when jerry stein for one great thing he said with jesus christ jerry but remember he goes he goes just give us the money let us do it he it was some he was like actors they read other it was like yeah he goes we you're you're talking to a guy who created all the jokes went on the road they worked created his own career and then you're telling giving me notes on what to make it funny dare you it's kind of anybody tell seinfeld anything yo he's a goat bro he's the goat bro i love that [ __ ] the show seinfeld is i iconic one of the guys and every time you hear a story about a show that succeeded you always hear like they the people always say like they got we had to fight the network they wanted us to do this we did this it's like let the comics just do it you know i feel that way until like i hire a contractor you know yeah like they're doing work on the house and i'm like yo why isn't [ __ ] done and they're like oh we're going to get it done it's like no i'm going to be you've got to get all mexican contractors my friend they get it done they get it done they get it done you just got the wrong contract but you understand what i'm saying like it is different when you're putting up the money so i do understand that you got to prove your worth right if you've created something before then [ __ ] start to trust you if you created nothing then you're gonna have to put up with some notes if you've done nothing in your career and then hbo goes we'd like to make a show around you absolutely they're gonna have a say if you've built your own show and then hbo buys that then you get to say yo hbo you paid me to do this thing now get the [ __ ] out the way so i could do this to that point all jokes aside seinfeld was a huge this is like a really successful stand-up yeah then got his own show and then he's like i'm gonna do my work and he hired uh larry david who was sleeping at his mother's house had no job walked off a saturday night live he did it his way he did it with the guy he wanted to do it with there's one quote i love by bernie brillstein who bill he goes uh yeah it's show business not business show i was so successful because i had the best talent that's it that's where i saw it never did contracts he's like if i don't if you're not working leave me i'm not doing my job he said it's show business yeah that was the show 100 so it's like it would be not you know networks should think about that when they do comedy projects you think these managers now are saying that because they do nothing most managers in general i don't know but it is about in the entertainment business if you get the right talent you're probably on the right path just let the talent breathe and go hey just do what you did that made me want to represent you yes that's probably a good way to go about it yes yeah anyway look um i love you the honest tell the people whether they can check out yani long days yeah we're now up on apple yes we're up on everywhere it's long days with giannis pappas podcast um please check it out it's up everywhere all audio platforms youtube i often ask people who are promoting a podcast when they come on here to tell us one specific episode that you think personifies this show last one episode nine called headed to miami gardens okay and the reason i say that is because it's a daunting yes to take in a whole new podcast right but if you go this episode is what we do if you like this you'll [ __ ] with it if you don't you won't and then don't listen anymore i think it'll help so the last episode is episode nine it's called headed to miami gardens yeah check it out and obviously on instagram you're posting clips and they're funny and you must be doing some green screen work or something like that yeah yeah yeah looks good stuff and i'm working with my buddy jesse again shout out to jesse man yeah tell jesse i say what up but we love you we support you and i'm glad that you and chrissy are still friends because we love chrissy too it's all love and you know obviously we're gonna you know bust balls and i know that you know reddit and [ __ ] is gonna try to make more about it than it is but listen we've known each other for over a decade it's love we want everybody to succeed feed their families we would have loved for you guys to continue going we're fans of the podcast fans of what you do we try to support as much as we can so maybe in the future we get you guys to cozy up again that would be great i mean we we close you up any time i mean we there's it's all love so we go on podcasts together do whatever and that's a good thing about bringing it off earlier then later that's the because you can come back that's later yeah you just said you you like i said we kind of both knew and you know we just kind of went like let's do other stuff and yeah yeah yeah all right my brother i love you that's been absolutely [Applause]

Channel: Flagrant 2

Views: 409,004

Rating: 4.8377576 out of 5

Keywords: andrew schulz, Bill burr, comedy, cuomo, funny, dave chapelle, logan paul, impaulsive, joe rogan, jre, jeremy lin, demi lovato, chris distefano, history hyenas, trutv, mr. potato head

Id: Tl7NIOp2cxU

Length: 151min 53sec (9113 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 02 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/-CoolHandLu]

Son everyone who said yannis wasn’t funny when the hyenas was on flagrant all those times.... yeah this is the best episode in a long time. Yannis is a killer, I am howling at this shit.

[u/Able_Combination_536]

Yanni murdered!

[u/itsyoboyo]

Anyone try yanni long days patreon? Love the regular episodes

[u/itsyoboyo]

After hearing Andrew talk about him getting back to comedy and away from his rants...I do hope we see a new and improved Drew!

[u/blane490]

Yannis is actually funny as hell. That last hour was hilarious everytime he opened his mouth. I used to hate when him and Distefano on here, but I guess it wasn’t cause of him.

[u/itsyoboyo]

Andrew's girl is pregnant?

[u/elizarraras87]

Akaash blaming Yannis for ruining his career while Akaash can't sell out shows is hilarious. Yeah bud Rogan hit up all these stand up comedy fans and told them not to but tickets... maybe it's you

Edit: Ayeee we got a S/O