Creating a Systemically Crippled Creature in SPORE

my god this thing is oh my god leave the legs oh man these these poor creatures this this really isn't gonna end well for any of them now is it oh well anyway hi my name is Vale Fisk and welcome to Spore the game that got no man's sky syndrome before it was cool now if you clicked on this video then you have read the title and you know my plan here is to create a species in Spore that for lack of a better word doesn't really want to live now I'll be honest I actually haven't played spore in a very very long time and I don't really remember how to play it either so I think even if my goal wasn't to make a crippled species in this game I think I would end up doing it anyway but right enough chatter let's let's just get right into it let's let's create this poor thing all right so I don't entirely remember how this works so I'm just gonna hit new game on this planet and oh yeah oh I have to unlock [ __ ] right well we're not doing that all right now hold on there has to be a console somewhere aha levels unlock all right so does that work okay we've done it excellent okay what console you never you never saw any console all right and we're gonna begin at the creature stage because if I'm honest I wouldn't expect anything I make to survive past 15 minutes anyway all right for diet we are gonna be a carnivore because being a hunter sounds hilarious hmm okay oh no oh no this is this is not I shouldn't be allowed this this is not okay are you gonna do that and we're gonna come no no hang on oh no that's this as long as the spine can be apparently all right so what looks worse uh excellent yes that is a functioning body type it looks fantastic and we're then gonna give this thing a single leg ah there we go okay we've got one single leg look this looks fine this is okay all right and we're gonna give it a mouth up there that looks fine oh no but we're gonna angle it down right so it couldn't like peek over a little hill and like just snap straight down and take something and ask for paint which of these looks the worst oh no work we have to go for the watermelon skin yeah we have to can I make this like really oh no no no oh holy hell oh yes oh yes it's perfect can i what if I did this hang on a minute oh it's perfect this is fantastic alright and you know what we're gonna call this thing we're gonna call this thing in a clay cuz honestly it I don't know what it is but that's what it reminds me of okay way but we're not done though cuz I I have some more ideas we're gonna put some like spikes there and then on the back of its uh it's nice I guess those are knees or those yeah those are knees alright well there we go we're not gonna bother giving it any eyes or you know anything actually useful I don't think it really needs anything else useful yep I'd called the a clay finished I am sure this thing will have zero problems catching any prey the stupidest things I've ever seen in my life whoa what are we gonna name the planet oh well if it's an act Li it's gotta be Felucia definitely its drowning its head is underwater oh my god oh my god what the hell is going on what what is it doing of course because we have no eyes this is all like hearing based or something alright let's let's go eat something it's we're gonna run oh my god it's beautiful I love them alright so let's go find something and let's go eat it I think the first thing we need to get our eyes because as I was trying to say the first thing we need to find her some eyes because it's it's a pain got how much of a pain in the ass of this to run around without being able to see oh what are these oh here we go hive hat let's let's eat one of these things shall we alright gotta use these hotkeys I want it I there we go Jesus Christ look at this thing okay this [ __ ] it's like a snake has been stretched out and given legs I don't understand oh they're fleeing they're running for it we're gonna get them all ah Jesus Christ these things are terrifying oh you're done for you're absolutely done for look at this the string bean of death is gonna just eat this thing that's what this thing is it's a string bean with legs claws and spikes all over it God look at them run yeah I would run - this thing is [ __ ] terrifying all right let's go back I think we've done enough let's find a mate and let's move on it's it's so weird it's like we've got like a flap like in-between oh there we go all right let's mate I don't even want to know how these things meet it it just worries me that idea oh Jesus Christ oh my god okay here we go so I think the first thing we need to do is get rid of this this charm thing right and put like an eye on instead so we can actually see and then oh my god yes we're going to come oh my god oh no oh this thing just looks creepy now hold on can we move yeah oh my God look at its heads Jesus Christ alright I think what we're gonna do is we're gonna move those spikes to there and we're gonna move these legs yeah something like that I think oh wait okay hold on a minute because as much as I like this it needs to be hang on a minute hang on this isn't this isn't quite right as much as I like this we need the feet to be on the ground alright and we're gonna give him a chef's hat from ratatouille just that's fine and we're also gonna give him a mace ball just underneath the eye right next to the spike yeah that's fine all right and now we're gonna give it wings because I want this thing to glide into battle hi you know some arms wouldn't hurt either okay hang on let's sell the chef's hat okay now we can get arms where are we gonna put the arms so they have to go in the main body I say about in there and then if we bring the feet in like there oh this poor thing Jesus look at it let's do that and let's let's bring the let's bring the legs back to go hold on a minute there we go yes connect the legs at the base and then move them out again like so there we go that that's fine this is fine all right and we're gonna finally change the color scheme to this because this one just looks diseased all right I don't think I'm quite happy with the legs though this is my only concern I think Oh what the what no no no no no no wait wait wait wait if we put it up if we put the legs kind of up like that and then bring them down okay I don't even know how this thing is working anymore but yep we're gonna go with that that that looks fine oh my God look at these things what the hell do they kind of look like the anarchy symbol all right good God oh okay so all right that's okay apparently we're running on the arms I didn't realize that's how this would work but all right the hell are these things look at them kill the bastard come on get him god this feels like playing an MMO again with all these hotkeys Oh Oh is that child oh come on kill the youngling come on get the youngling there's no escape for you look at this thing coming after oh my god Jesus look at this thing I think it's terrifying okay so I appear to be using like the legs as hands now I okay now I'm just confused as to what I've done oh my God look guys it says kodo-san Kang from The Simpsons what the hell of this what is this oh wow those are some big balls holy [ __ ] also love in this game and how they do they don't even like trying to help they just flee oh wow look it's a baby oh sorry was a baby past tense oh man I love how there's these all these little X's marking the map or I've eradicated certain species like God what the hell is this thing oh man these ones can fly Oh what the hell is that I'm not sure that counts is flying I'm not entirely sure what that count says at all all right we got to kill the alpha male so we can just eat all of the children now there we go easy peasy oh no you know get back here you little bastard there we go oh [ __ ] what the hell is that flea get away get away from me oh [ __ ] I died oh Jesus I'm gonna ignore it you know what that is that's the thing out of Monty Python that is out of my sport crash yes it did it's fantastic did I just lose all of my progress where where there's no way I did not just lose all of my progress I think I did I think I think I just lost all of my progress by crashing are you serious all right screw it we're going again this time we're gonna make it as horrific as possible we're gonna have way more parts this time and we're gonna make it just awful I'm gonna make it loop around like that yeah yeah okay that's what I want then we're gonna give it one of these oh Jesus Christ that's that's terrifying gonna give it one of those ah here we go legs this is what I'm after holy oh my god let's see what can I so if I do like this right which looks terrible and do out like that up like that I bring it forward like that and bring these back so we give it those legs yeah let's give it some bones attached to like the top of its head so let's give it bones there and then these ones oh god no look at this poor thing Jesus and then let's give it some more legs we're gonna give plated muscle attached to the very butt like that and we're then gonna stretch these out kind of like that and then up and then no together together yes fantastic right so this is this is fine this is this is how it looks like in real life and let's also strap just a few more likes here and there and we'll be done here like that's Jesus I can't even I can't even do what I'm trying to do I can't find where the legs are like that yeah yeah sure that's that's fine we could go with this all right we're gonna need some arms so let's put them here there you go put the arms out like that brilliant fantastic this is this is fine he just wants to hug you guys he just wants a hug okay let's see what else can we use we could use some antlers no sorry antler a single antler on top of the head a really fat antler oh my god yeah that cuz it spikes like that yeah yeah yeah and then let's also get one of these let's attach this to the front oh I just realized do we have a mouth oh yeah we do yeah we in the mouth for fun I forgot forgot there's a mouth in there he's a kid see it then for color pattern we're gonna go with yeah you know I like that I think that's fine and then are we done or can I I can still add stuff let's put a flower in there let's put okay now now we're out of points okay this just this is just whirring I don't even know what this thing is supposed to be damn what are we gonna call it something that really you know represents what this is supposed to be of what this really looks like oh of course how stupid could I be Nigel Faraj there we go alright so that's fine we're gonna go we're gonna go with this and Jesus this is so bad and we're gonna name the planets ah you Kip yeah mmm all right here we go oh my god it's one antler sticking out of the water my god this thing is oh my god alright so so we're in so we can't move Jesus look at this thing turned away wait wait a second so hold on this is the front but I made that to be the front so this thing is facing the movies you know I've read a good amount of Lovecraft and I'm pretty sure this is what he was talking about what he called things indescribable cuz as well all right we're gonna go and we're gonna find some other species and we're gonna kill it oh here we go what are these is there some tiny like rat looking things Oh how's this thing eat Oh Oh uses its arms but the arms are facing backwards oh my god oh this is awful I hate this already this is just awful Oh Mike look just look at the legs going back and forth is [ __ ] terrifying look how much damage it does as well it can basically one hit anything just watch right this thing's gonna get consumed and that's that dead oh there we go that's another species Nigel Farage has pushed yet another species to extinction oh my god look at this look at this I can though we can actually fly I don't think I don't think anything can be this deadly like just the way it moves and the fact that it can fly and just instant and just instantly kill anything it's ah this is just I hate this so much right but honestly I think I think it's time to stop thank you guys for watching and I'll see you next time I promise I'm never gonna I'm never gonna do this again like never [Music]

Channel: Valefisk

Views: 274,450

Rating: 4.9004216 out of 5

Keywords: montage, rts, funny moments, funny gaming, funny gaming moments, funny clips, funny montage, highlights, moments, silly, gameplay, compilation, csgo, eu4 memes, hoi4 memes, eu4, hoi4, skyrim, skyrim together, skyrim memes, spore, valefisk, spore is a perfectly balanced masterpiece, spore game, spore funny, perfectly balanced masterpiece, rt game, prison architect, battle royale, fortnite, big funny, rust

Id: iMvvUWh3H0U

Length: 14min 50sec (890 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 13 2019