Cosmo teaches us to overthink

[Music] hey guys what's up and welcome back to my channel so today you know as a lover of literature i truly like to immerse myself in texts that are significant emotional and that have you know a real lasting consequence to the point that you really think about them every so often you're like wow i can't believe this piece of art exists and i get to live in the same timeline as this piece of art that being said we're reading cosmopolitan the opposite of everything i just described so this article is titled what the amount of time it took him to text back means stop having a panic attack they might really be busy with work so i'm gonna just preface this here loki i feel slightly attacked by some of this article because i'm not the type of person who plays games in the sense of if a friend takes an hour to message me back i'm not gonna be like oh i'm gonna take an hour and a half and i know that this pertains more to dating stuff but obviously i have a husband just so like dating doesn't really pertain to me but even back in the day when i was dating i didn't ever really date anyone even back in the day when i was talking to people that i ended up not ever dating it never was this type of thing where i'd get hung up on how long they took as much as for me i become paranoid that i said something that wasn't okay so if they take a long time it's not that i'm like why are you taking 68 minutes to respond but it's more like oh [ __ ] did i say something did i make it weird is you know like what did i do essentially just going to preface that but before we get into that i did want to thank today's sponsor which is function of beauty function of beauty creates personalized shampoo and conditioner based on your hair type and goals all you need to do is fill out a two minute quiz where you can even pick the color and fragrance you want in your set you even get your name literally on the bottle they're also free of parabens sulfates gmos or toxins and are 100 vegan and 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honestly cannot recommend function of beauty enough follow my link in the description to get 20 off your first order anyways thank you function of beauty for sponsoring this video obviously i've already read this article and frankly the first time i filmed this it became a very long video for some points that are very redundant and i'll show you what i mean in a second when you really like someone you're texting with it can be easy to get anxiety spiraled into reading their response time as more than it is for those of you who haven't sat there in terror feeling every single second between sending a text and receiving a response four hours later we applaud you but the rest of us who do know the feeling of anticipation and fear between firing off texts and dms and memes here's what it means when he's presumably not at work and just choosing to text you back at this time i'm going to say this here and now nobody owes you to text back immediately in fact most the time that's the point of text it's not necessarily instant messaging it's more like i'll text you when i'm free you text me back when you're free and so on so forth so as much as i understand the kind of anxiety of worrying if you said something that's not okay it's also like people have lives so i'm just gonna say that again because in this article you'll understand that that's kind of a concept that's not very well understood so i'm gonna say it again people have lives and fyi if your partner is busy at work and you're still wondering like why does he take so long to text me back he's got a legit excuse none of these really apply because they're at work and probs can't be rapid fire text partner you want or need in that moment because job just like you can be expected to be hyper responsive 24 7 aka dream important meetings it goes both ways but this article is more for when you know they're just at home chilling and don't have an annual review happening at that exact moment again people have lives if someone wants to sit on the couch and not answer your text they're allowed to do that so like even then i don't really feel like you need an excuse like sometimes you're just not in the mood to talk and this is also the thing it's like would you rather someone message you back being [ __ ] or would you rather them take the evening off from answering you and then responding when they're in the bright headspace just a general question i'm wondering about if you text you back before you've even finished sending your response you know if they text you back before you've even finished sending your follow-up that you're either a on another level and communicating with your soul mate twin flame what have you or b texting someone who is super duper into you if you send a message to someone and they somehow read the rest of your thought and answer you before you've even finished building your question in your head you know it's real at the least you've shaved off minutes of your interaction efficiency i really don't think it's healthy to read into things like this because the reality is as much as i think we've all been in a situation wondering why is it taking them this long to answer me did i say something wrong blah blah blah the reality is unless you ask them you're never gonna know and i feel like this particular article specifically attacks me because this is my overthinking pattern in certain things not really texting but in certain other social interactions i'll say something and then i'll go into like deep regret even though i said the most [ __ ] average mild thing i could have said and then i'll think about it for days and be like oh my god you're such an idiot they probably think you're the dumbest person alive and then the depression gets worse number two if he texts you back within a few seconds so as you can see we're already getting into nitty gritty detail which doesn't necessarily need to be differentiated in the sense of you know when you were in high school and you were trying to get to word count this is what this article is because really is there a big difference between him texting you back before you're finished texting and him texting you back within a few seconds is there such a massive difference that there has to be a different category no and that's why we're gonna skip a bunch of them because i think they're like 11 and i'm gonna link it down below if you really want to subject yourself to it strongly suggest getting a bottle of mine or seven or something stronger maybe even because it's an experience if he texts you back within a few seconds rapid fire responders are another sure way of knowing someone's extremely interested in talking to you and what you have to say if your text partner answers you and volleys it back to you within seconds not minutes be different this also suggests that they're open and honest that whatever they sent was not agonized over for hours before sending no games here just efficient communication and a desire to keep it going lucky you yeah that's a very optimistic way of seeing it because actually them answering this fast could mean also that they're a player and that they've had this exact conversation with multiple other people so they don't have to think about it or agonize over it because they've already had this conversation in fact maybe having the same exact conversation with another person at the exact same time this kind of optimism is kind of stupid in my opinion because responding quickly doesn't mean you're being honest like there are plenty of times when i was younger where i lied about [ __ ] and it was like this let's just keep going i'm going to skip a few categories just for our own mental health oh yeah so the next category was if he texts you back within a few minutes which is very different from 30 seconds obviously and then there's another category that says if he texts you back within 10 minutes to an hour this one is pretty much standard for humans with days off who actually like each other because it means he's not sitting by the phone but he's checking it often enough to see if anyone cool aka you has texted him either that or he's always on his phone and is seriously just sitting on his hands so he waits at least five minutes before texting you back because he'll seem hashtag super chill even though those minutes barely make a difference but oh well i need an explanation do minutes make a difference or not you're here differentiating 30 seconds to one minute as this like stratospheric cataclysmic difference and then here now you're like oh as if a couple minutes make a difference cis you need to pick one it's either makes a massive difference or it makes no difference and if it makes no difference why the [ __ ] are you writing this article i would like to underline also two whole ass people wrote this article so like two actual brains well i don't know if people like cosmopol you know what i'm not gonna be that mean but let's keep going five if he texts you back an hour later so this is obviously very different from 10 minutes to an hour this is an hour what does it mean if you get a call from your mom while you're filming tell me that cosmo anyway if he always texts you back at the same interval of time like clockwork it always baffles me when i look at a guy's text and see them start to form a pattern like oh my god greg always texts me back 67 minutes after i text him what the hell is this and in reality it could be a coincidence where he could have read some horrible book about how to be a pickup artist in 67 minutes was supposed to be the penny dropper reply time either way it's a little ocd and worth asking about casually sometimes i don't want to be that person but if he's texting you back every 67 minutes that's really [ __ ] weird it's also very weird if you're tracking every time he texts you back to that level of specificity it'd be one thing if he texts you back on the dot on the hour because whatever but 67 is a very weird thing to notice it's a very weird thing that you're tracking to that extent so as much as i think the person is weird you're pretty weird too dude okay i'm gonna go to the second to last category because those are more interesting if he texts you back a week later like he's a customer service rep at a major corporation again unless he texts you with hey my whole family was killed in a dramatic boating accident this likely means that he's not that into talking to you at all but then got an erection and was like uh this is still a borderline reasonable window of time to see if i can still hit that now obviously this is different for everyone especially if like you're dating or talking or interested or whatever the [ __ ] term is with the kids these days but i also would suggest looking into what kind of headspace the person's in because i know that sometimes i'll go without responding to people for a couple days or a week and most of the time i'll preface it by being like yo i'm in a really bad depressive phase if i don't respond to you don't worry like everything's fine i just need a break and i mean like when you're only first talking to someone you might not feel comfortable saying that so you might just go m.i.a not to say that it's cool it sucks the feeling sucks but nonetheless i just don't think that conclusions should be jumped to though of course there are [ __ ] boys who will do [ __ ] like this and just be try and use you so yeah could be valid depending if he texts you back and you haven't talked to him in so long that you deleted his number this is like number 10 but multiplied by a thousand i can almost guarantee that what happened here was he wasn't that into you moved on maybe dated a few other people broke up with them too got lonely one night and was like oh man i still have that girl's number from a few months ago i'll just text her a chill sup and she'll be totally dying to hear from me and you're like haha who is this also i'm pretty sure i know who it is and i hate you now bye i think the main thing that we can all learn from cosmopolitan just a massive emotional maturity like all of this doesn't scream young teen girl who is being overly dramatic this all seems very mature now like i said of course there is such a thing as having anxiety when someone doesn't respond or when they take a while just because you might worry about if you said something wrong but i do think it's also unhealthy to keep that close of tabs it does remind me of the movie he's just not that into you if you guys haven't seen it i strongly recommend it it's actually one of my favorite rom-coms because a lot of it just applies and i've seen a lot of my friends plus myself do certain things that are in that rom-com the basic gist that i think is the most important is to not really over-analyze until it's time you know like if you notice like a recurring pattern after a while that's one thing but when you first start talking and you don't know what their reply time is like you don't know what their mental health is like you don't know just like what their messaging style even is like you know some people use punctuation some don't at all it's all you know something that you need to get used to so like as much as these articles in a way funny because they're so ridiculous it's also like i do feel like they are bordering sometimes on obsessive or overly analytical to the point where you might ruin your own mood and that's coming from someone who does that all the time but anyways let me know what you guys think do you guys over analyze [ __ ] like this like i do do you get anxiety let me know if you've been in this situation and how you react anyways guys thank you so much for watching thank you to my patrons as always let's get right into the fan art [Music] [Music] so [Music] you

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Views: 153,183

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Id: NI7FeUKRQXE

Length: 13min 38sec (818 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2020