How to dress MODESTLY as a ~woman~

[Music] hey guys what's up and welcome back to my channel so today we're going to talk about classically abby now if you don't know who classically abby is the reason i know her apart from other youtubers making videos about her and reacting to her is that her videos have been ads so essentially they've been popping up on my homepage on my recommended on a bunch of [ __ ] where really they should be popping up because i am by no means the target demographic i'm as much the target demographic for classically abby as i am for girl defined and i realized that now i'm slightly closer to girl defined because we share a hair color kind of it's not for me it's really truly not for me but i did want to react to this video because skull [ __ ] made a really funny reaction which i'll link down below so the video abby made is called why you should dress modestly get the attention you deserve from this title i already kind of knew i was in for it but let's just get into the video hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about modesty why it's important and why it doesn't mean looking like garbage i have to say this abrupt beginning kills me every time i've watched this multiple times so by now i pretty much know this video by heart the sole concept of starting a video about telling people why they should dress modestly and immediately you bring up a negative image about modesty which is referring to garbage it's not a good look most the time if you want to talk about pros and cons i would say go with the pros first if you're trying to convince someone to do something modesty it's a concept that some women truly hate it's also a concept that a lot of women embrace first off what is it modesty is dressing in a way that doesn't sexualize your body i get the appeal of not wanting to dress modestly all the time even for those of us who do dress modestly sometimes it's hard it's fun to dress in a way that makes you desirable it's fun to be noticed but the question is who do you want to be desirable to i'm going to try to not go off in this video but no promises so first of all the way she defines modesty to me is incorrect off the bat because a lot of these types of terms that are typically applied to women like modesty being ladylike femininity those terms you know the ones that people typically use to kind of reprimand you a lot of those in my opinion are internal traits being feminine i don't think has to be an outer thing it doesn't mean you have to dress in pink and like things that are typically feminine the same way that i think modesty doesn't necessarily have to be shown outwardly because for me modesty is really a personality trait and i care about it more as a personality trait rather than what someone wears so the whole thing of tying modesty to sexuality and making it a binary is ridiculous in my opinion because first of all being sexualized a lot of the times is projected now sure there are times where i might wear something and i think it's sexier i feel sexy whatever and that's one thing but it's also like i could go out wearing this and skinny jeans and still someone might sexualize me because a lot of sexualization effectively is projected so i don't really know where she's trying to go with that one however i have to really underline the fact that she creates a binary is a very important thing to keep in mind as we go on with this video because we have modesty on one side and i guess sexiness on the other side and you'll see what she associates to one and the other creating an either or type of scenario which just is not accurate because you can be modest and sexy at the same time but we'll get into that oh also she brings up who do you want to be desirable to first of all even when i was single my only person i wanted to be desirable was myself and trust me that's hard enough so i'm not dressing for anyone else and most people i know are not dressing to please other people they wear something that makes them feel good which in turn makes them look good because when you feel good you know you're more confident and most the time you just look better i don't really know if you're dressing for someone but most of us are not and do you want to be noticed for being beautiful or being sexy modesty is about treating your body with respect it's about recognizing reality that men are visual creatures not emotional ones it's about leaving things to the imagination it's about dressing beautifully and attractively but not garishly it's about embracing femininity and it's about dressing in public in a way that's appropriate for everyone from children to grandparents to moms and dads clearly abby has a very traditional perspective she has hashtag conservative um under her video so a traditional perspective is not in any way surprising and usually i don't mind the traditional perspective but this particular strain of traditional is not my [ __ ] in any means so another thing that bothers me about this video is that apart from the fake binary that's created abby also changes the situation because talking about modesty is a conversation we can have and that's fine but also dressing for the occasion and modesty are not the same thing because most humans that have more than one brain cell know that hey if i'm going to work i wear work appropriate attire if i'm going to a club i can wear whatever the [ __ ] i want you won't wear what you wear to the club to go see grandma and grandpa obviously every person with a functioning brain cell so everyone except for like jake paul knows that there's a difference between talking about dressing for the occasion whereas here the modesty seems to be dressing for your free time so it's a different conversation but she's making this false equivalence i feel like she also belittles men in this video and as we go on you'll see but her saying that men are visual creatures rather than emotional i'm like all humans for the most part are in some way visual creatures sure but also why would you make men sound like they they're still cavemen like they just see like a girl that's wearing a bikini and they're like ooh me me want or something like that this video just like belittles everyone frankly modesty is a way for you to respect yourself and respect others when you go to the park and you're surrounded by families with children is it fair to dress in a way that's distracting no instead dress in a way that's appropriate for the occasion when you meet a guy and immediately have a connection you have one chance to make an impression do you want him to leave having your body at the forefront of his mind or you as a person if you are wearing something incredibly revealing it will be difficult for him to focus on your personality instead he might be focusing on your physical appeal of course there are men who will look at you this way no matter what but more men will think of you as a sex object if you dress like one than if you dress like a lady i said i wasn't gonna go off i said i wasn't gonna go off i said i was not gonna go off again dressing for the occasion compared to dressing modestly in your free time which i thought was the center focus of this video there are two different issues okay the fact that she brings up is it fair to dress up in a way that's distracting when you go to the [ __ ] park like obviously i don't think you should go anywhere where there are children wearing extremely revealing clothing the fact that she brings up is it fair to me just says husbands are gonna look at you as a woman if you're wearing something more revealing and that's not fair to us people who wear modest clothing i think that's what's going on but the concept of fairness to me is ridiculous because is it fair abby for you to try and tell other people what to wear when what they wear has no bearing on your life like truly if you don't like what someone's wearing a you're probably just crossing them at the supermarket so you'll never see them again and if they're by you at the park guess what go sit somewhere else at the park where you don't see them what people wear i doubt really impacts your life enough for you to try and dictate it and aside from that the constant pushing of either you're sexy or you're modest and have self-respect which would then mean that if you're sexy you have no self-respect so in my mind what she's saying is if you are this julia who is wearing less clothing then this is a julia with less respect for herself and who has less value really then on the other hand if you're this julia you're showing less skin therefore you have more self-respect and therefore men will actually like this julia for the true julia she is and frankly it's like they can be the same thing this julia can choose to wear less clothing and this julia still has self-respect sorry i spoke in third person it's incredibly douchey i realize it's a very basic way to talk about a very nuanced concept and i don't really think abby was prepared for this not to be entirely patronizing but it just really feels like she has no idea what she's talking about at this point because modesty keeps changing definitions and gets honestly worse does that mean you should look like garbage when you meet someone absolutely not you should look attractive but if you're dressing immodestly you're not leaving anything to his imagination and you're not giving him an opportunity to get to know you i'm guessing you don't want to attract the kind of man who is only looking to spend one night with you but when you dress immodestly men are wired to have one thing on the brain when you go to a work meeting do you want to have cleavage and leg showing no you want the people there to listen to you and engage with your ideas not your sexuality dressing modestly is such a feminine thing to do because it accentuates your figure instead of revealing it and here's the thing you can dress modestly and beautifully there are so many examples of this look at kate middleton michelle obama and ivanka trump nobody looks at them and thinks wow they're frumpy but in today's day and age where everything goes it's hard to know what's modest and what's not again she goes with the man belittling and it's like you realize that there are plenty of men who have met women who were dressed in what probably abby would deem sexy and who have continued to date and have had meaningful relationships or have gotten married or whatever you know like if you meeting someone when you're dressed in a sexy way doesn't mean that because the person's a man i mean they might think about sex sure but it doesn't mean that that's just what's gonna happen and nothing else is going on like the same way that you can have multiple thoughts at the same time you can think someone sexy and at the same time think they have a great personality i know shocking it's going to take you a minute to like really take that in because i just dropped a bomb on you but lo and behold people are more than one thing at a time and i mean like i think that all of us have met someone for me it's my husband who i think is all of those things at once like he's a sexy person he's smart he's funny there all these things going on at once so i don't understand why she thinks when someone meets you they automatically only see one thing now of course there are people like that of course there are creepy people there are people who only are interested in sex and also the other thing i want to underline some women do just want to hook up you realize that because she's talking as if every single woman in the world wants to have a long-term super serious relationship that's not what everyone wants the same way that they're men who want long-term relationships there are women who want hookups so even just the concept of oh maybe he just wants to hook up with you well that's for her to determine if that's a problem or not not for you to tell her what to wear so when they talk he's not only thinking of hooking up but he's thinking about her personality it's like why are you doing all these mental gymnastics for someone who's not you like that's truly confusing to me like why do you care i only care because i think this kind of mentality is really toxic because if you associate someone displaying their sexuality or being sexy in any way with no self-respect that's severely [ __ ] up also because i bet you i bet you anything that some of abby's icons have worn revealing things before and that doesn't make them any less of a person also the fact that she's talking about british royalty and the wives of presidents as ways to dress modestly is a little bit funny to me because in everyday life will you walk around wearing the same outfits michelle obama wears or ivanka trump wears or kate middleton wears those are everyday outfits like that's when you're going to [ __ ] i don't know watch horse races or something women like jlo and shakira dancing in sparkly leotards and being praised for their bodies doesn't really help either because at 50 years old do you want to be trying to be praised for your body or praise for your family for your body or for your wisdom treating your sexiness like it's your best feature is a losing battle because time always wins and now you're competing with other women too so what's the difference between beauty and sexiness beauty is both inside and out it's about how your soul shines through your eyes and through your smile it's about how your external features complement your personality sexiness is just about your body modesty reminds us what's important of course it's amazing to keep in shape it's amazing to work out and stay fit but i hope that when i'm 50 people are talking about my accomplishments as a mother as a wife and as a woman with values not my muscle tone here we go again with the binaries this just in folks you cannot be in shape sexy and smart all at once you can only pick one thing you're either pretty or smart not both this is such an elementary kind of discussion i cannot believe like i'm glad her video is only five minutes because truly this video could be like 10 seconds where you want the end not even 10 seconds also i have to say i am uncomfortable with the whole thing of my value being determined via my family and being a wife and mother because that's not how people work in any way whether you're a man or a woman or whatever you identify as your value is you that's it there's no value that's transferred to you because you are connected to someone else i truly hate that mentality and frankly i see it the same way for my husband i don't want any value to be put on him because he's a husband like he's a valuable human being because of who he is and i think it goes for everyone else so when she says as a wife as a mother like i want my accomplishments as myself also you can have like 20 phds and be sexy at the same time so when i'm 50 do i want to be known for my accomplishments sure would it hurt if i still look good no i don't really know what the problem is with being both but again we have to keep the binary of modesty versus sexiness aka no self-respect apparently according to abby so what does modesty really mean it means not wearing something that shows off every curve and crevice of your body when it might be better off left in the bedroom it means not wearing something that could easily be mistaken for lingerie it means not wearing something you'd be embarrassed to see your family in i get the pull toward wanting to dress him modestly and i'm not criticizing anyone for it you're not criticizing anyone this whole video is criticizing anyone who doesn't wear the modesty uniform you've come up with girl where not criticizing anyone and if you're going to criticize someone just come out and say it like we all know what you're doing here anyway i just have to laugh not criticizing anyone sure jan again it's interesting to me that towards the end of the video she has to be like what is modesty really because i'm like i thought that was the whole topic of the video how are you going to talk about it again at the end when you make an argument you learn this i think in high school you need to know what your points are going to be so you can define terms that's like one of the first things you do when you make an argument so you defining the term here and there and changing what the term means or your definition of the term which is incorrect anyway is messy because then your argument is lost essentially her entire argument is modest equals not being sexy that's literally all this argument has been i'm in favor for people wearing whatever they want so if you want to wear a turtleneck and never show your ankles totally fine by me if you want to wear a bikini also totally fine by me it's your business to me this video just seems like it would have been made like 70 years ago and for some reason it's teleported here where it just has no true bearing and like i said i think class femininity being ladylike whatever you want to call it those are things that come from the inside i think we've all witnessed and this is just an example a celebrity wear a really expensive outfit but because of who they are and their personality they make things look cheap whereas we've seen people wear walmart and make it look expensive why is that that to me usually is because of something that they just emanate something that just comes from them it's not all exterior but she's making it all pretty much exterior here i'm just offering you an alternative so ladies let's be classic and let's dress like the ladies we are i have never been so put off by the word ladies truly i don't think i've ever identified as a lady because what's been defined as ladylike hasn't really been my cup of tea or shot of vodka but the term ladies to me has always kind of had a vibe of gatekeeping in the sense of very very traditional femininity and obviously i have an alternative style like i'm heavily tattooed so like i that definition already doesn't really pertain to me because tattoos are often not seen as feminine which i could go on a rant about the term ladies here just feels like it's to only talk to women who completely agree with everything with abby especially in terms of clothing and what to wear and what's garish and what's not and i don't know i just think this type of video at this point is outdated there are other videos that abby has made that i find more useful now i don't agree but she has videos showing what to wear to be modest in the summer i find that a lot more useful than this because this is talking in circles not making any points whereas the other videos are actually informative because if a woman because her videos cater to women really if a woman wants to be modest she can click on that and see what her options are and i find that a lot more useful and productive than this because this is a non-conversation this is not someone who's open to having a discussion this is someone who's just judging people based on what they wear whereas those other videos i can understand the appeal but here i just don't understand what the point was because it's really just seconding people who decided to be modest and shaming anyone who's not so anyways let me know what you think in the comments down below let me know what you think about modesty thank you guys so much for watching thank you to my patrons as always let's get right into the fan art [Music] you

Channel: READY TO GLARE

Views: 642,978

Rating: 4.927001 out of 5

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Id: wQBSAYnRc08

Length: 19min 20sec (1160 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 03 2020