Conspiracy Cuties - JFK is DEAD?!

[Music] yes [Music] what's up everybody welcome to another episode of conspiracy cuties you fcfs fully charged communists you [ __ ] yeah we changed fcf to a fully charged friend to fully communist friend cause we got some commies our comrades are working behind the cameras for us not only is there a commie behind the camera but there was a commie and a book depository that killed my catholic president jfk because november 22nd 1963 12 30 where were you because i don't know where i was but can i can i cross the line or no it's gonna be funny but can i cross the line i just don't say just don't save yeah no i'm gonna cross the line though is it okay though oh yeah because he john f kennedy was handsome yeah and he was catholic yeah do one of your answer your mother flicker bean to jfk i'm gonna say i'm gonna say that the answer to that is 100 [Music] guys there's no way he did it now there's no way they didn't unfortunately even even i was gonna say i was gonna say even there's everybody including my mom's brother moved their monkeys to jfk he's irish he was catholic and uh he's a handsome handsome kid and i think there's a lot of conspiracies floating around i think that is why jfk died is because he must have banged somebody powerful zwave yeah i mean jfk the real danger about jfk was his piece well he had a he was using his piece yeah i mean i'm fat right you're [ __ ] fat because is it like annoying to see a fat guy yeah cause you shaved your face you get a haircut you're fat fat [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Laughter] sorry kristos just got one more out that was the last one from yeah guys i'm a fat kid now yeah i go from i go from handsome to just a different guy hour by hour guys you're a handsome guy by morning and a fat woman by night this is the worst possible angle for a guy who's struggling with weight control during quarantine it's what it is because and that's why we're you want to know what's funny about us as a podcast we were told by the fans that it was a horrible angle and we said let's keep doing it for that reason doing it yeah yeah let's keep what it is okay yeah so so okay so here's let's take you there november 22nd 1963 12. maybe you haven't heard about we're going to tell you about a little incident you may not have heard of we may not have heard of yeah president jfk is dead yeah so his his he he was now november 23rd 12 30 dallas he was on his way to the dallas improv and um to go see to go see uh hurricane perform yeah because yeah dallas improv there's a lot of black comics yeah black comics actually there's another there is a comedy club in dallas named hyenas comedy club so that's also part of the conspiracy is why did he get killed in dallas and then they named the comic club hyenas yeah and it's also conspiracy it's like they they called their club hyenas before we started history hyenas so did we steal it from them i don't know i don't know i would put my money on no there's a guy i did jim and sam the jim and sam show with this guy clint clint owner maybe it was opening gym at the time not the only thing you've done you got a dirty dick i got a dirty dick yeah it's interesting that i just came from lake george and now my boy who's a doctor just sent me that there's an s t gonorrhea is rampant in lake george they found samples of it in the actual leg yeah and chrissy was just there i want to go back with you to lake george with debo and [ __ ] fish him out of lake george absolutely yeah yeah deebo he's [ __ ] it yeah he's that kid's an earbud so so um so uh um the guy clint uh i forgot his last name he wrote a book eastwood clint eastwood he told me that he's the officer if you ever see the video who runs and jumps in the back seat right before it you met that guy we did opium gym with him and he gave me his book clint yeah if you could look up clint something was his name google my name and chris stefano yeah and or whatever his last name is we'll get his name first i guess and then oh clint black i think it's clint black so what did the guy say to you he told me he told me yeah this is the guy secret service so clint hill so clint hill yeah google clinton chris stefano let's see if we pop up together um he told us that um that when he jumped even though he's at yeah see that's where we're on service did you cr what did i say oh i asked him a question let's see what i asked him can we hear what i asked him because i don't remember this because i'm power kennedy johnson nixon and ford look it's chip jefferson four four five [Laughter] well i mean that was a tough day for mr hill it was a tough day for the nation yeah tough day for everyone were you ever walking a little higher from here see like you know two scientists dragging in like an alien like oh [ __ ] i was supposed to spend then you're like and they gotta zap you and erase your memory whatever happened no no that never did happen did it ever happen no because i know you're a man of science but are aliens real or what oh well if you could believe in him if you want to then i don't you've seen some [ __ ] wow do the planes have escape pods just in case do they like it was there seriously like a bunch of good questions these guys are laughing at me they don't so if the [ __ ] goes down that you're all going down there's nothing you can do i thought that he there's some escape pod you can't let the i think i think the background i thought maybe i asked him something about jfk but but um but anyway he told me at some point i thought that's what the video that's why i brought it up he told me that when he jumped in told us when he jumped in the back that kennedy's head was in two pieces and that he was 100 dead on arrival yeah there he is so so yeah clint is that's him right there i guess i'm teabagging clint oh there that's governor connolly that's governor connolly so when he jumped in he said his head was in two pieces and he had 100 been shot two to three times despite people say so he doesn't believe that that shot came from the book depository because off the angles they don't believe that it happened and he believes his opinion is that it had to do with jfk he's like you know he would walk around he said almost every city we went to at some event we'd have to somehow escort somebody's husband out because they had jfk had hooked up with their wife at some point or done something with their wife or something he's like so the womanizing caught up to him he was like and that's what we think it is he said but he was in no way shape or form alive when they took him to that hospital he was dead in in the back he said and i saw i saw his head in two pieces which is wild to talk to a guy who was actually there who was there at that time yeah yeah he's a fascinating guy well i was asking him about [ __ ] aliens yeah but i mean you know it's it's kind of crazy when you are your whole life is defined by something that happened to somebody else much more famous than you right and like nobody ever wants to talk to you about anything else right like if that guy came to dinner and my dad was like this is my friend clint i'd be like hey clint how you doing what do you do he'd be like yeah you know i was in security for a while oh where uh you know when i was younger i was in dallas you used to guard the president oh which president uh you know kennedy wow kennedy kennedy did you know anybody who was there with a diamond and when he was in dallas what actually that was me i was garden really yeah now it's like all right guy yeah i don't care about anything else in your life yeah tell me about that one event you're the plus one in kennedy's death story we should do it we should we should do a podcast like getting to know people outside like getting to know other angles of these people yeah like be like hey guy what do you do you like golf he's like yeah actually look nobody ever gives a [ __ ] what this guy likes because all they want to know about is like what happened on that day yeah and if lee harvey oswald is a jew why john so at 2 15 so he gets shot at the big questions with the big questions we tackle he gets shot at were you happy about this that he got killed what's your family stance that's what i want to know i want to know what a what a household full of german irish catholics deep enough in a blue collar working neighborhood how they were affected by this by this well i'll tell you what i'll tell you what i think that they were extremely affected because my mother had a picture of pope john paul ii and then another picture of jfk in the kitchen until my teenage years and so did my aunt sort of my aunt who lived downstairs and was that a big deal for them to have finally have a catholic why does it stink it's yeah i got hit they come from a part of your ass that's just it's next level and uh it's one of those things where it's just it's dead because you're an expert you are a doctor do you think that smell means i got ass cancer or something there i don't think it's ass cancer but i think it's coming from an ungodly depth of your greek [ __ ] because just how mad my fat rolls make you yeah you're blindingly white thighs you don't want to spill coffee all over them yeah just to darken them up a little just to darken them up a little bit yeah i'm sorry i'm white i'd be mad if i wasn't white too way zhong i'm crazy christos cause when i turn it to crazy crystals it's wild yeah i mean here's the thing jfk was killed by a guy named lee harvey oswald yeah and police [Laughter] let's just uncover the truth here it's just you know it's not real and you know it's just a myth oh all right so let's tell so what happened so so lee harvey oswald what was he doing the kid was getting it connish and then what happened yeah i made the kid here's the thing the kid was like he spent he looks like gary veeder dude he's actually he does look like gary peter yeah he's the only guy who i actually brought gary veeder up once as lee harvey oswald are you serious i did do that yeah he was not thrilled about it yeah but i still thought it was very funny when i was hoping to give it up for lee harvey oswald everybody just think thank god gary veeder has a dog walk in business that's all i'll say yeah it's what it is it's there that's what you call chrissy clarice starling agent chrissy clarice starlight that's what it is anyone can get it out of here it's a random fire i mean the kid would the kid was just walking around minding his own business gary feeder yeah and he just got shot yeah it just got shot yeah i mean i don't [ __ ] know the [ __ ] know what's going on at all i mean the kid does comment like is his microphone off i mean what the [ __ ] happened and mesh patel sitting there going god at least it wasn't me god oh my god i mean oh i know honestly dude i'm being honest if you put me at a comedy show with back to back namesh patel then gary vito you could give me six bumps of coke and i'd still fall asleep [Laughter] i mean those kids should be nicknamed nigh and quill i i mean they [ __ ] go night those are the night night boys fishy christos yeah it's what is this crazy christos yeah yeah i mean look sometimes the lights go out that's right yeah they're good kids you have to show that yeah kids i mean the truth is what are you gonna do anyway i mean a [ __ ] you know what what are you gonna do please so yeah you heard me uh lee harvey osbald uh yeah by the way lee harvey oswald he sounds like he's like a seven foot black basketball player yeah with that name lee harvey oswald doesn't sound like he's like a power forward hundred percent yeah like yeah did leah harvey oz yeah he sounds like he's racially profiled in the 70s yeah he does he looks like he's just a kid who played for st john's yeah but yeah yeah did he play willie glass yeah that was lee harvey oswald no because he's a squeak he's so [ __ ] sweet tommy he's a commie squeak but a lot of people do not believe that lee harvey oswald was in fact the killer they believe because he had some right wing ties and he was kind of a nut and he just recently started working at the communist ties at communist ties at the books depository in dallas that he was the perfect person to pin this on yeah well it just conveniently it seemed like there was a photo with him in the rifle i mean when you look back at it it's kind of comical to think that uh that he did it i mean the kid did not do it i mean first of all he's a squeak yeah so how's he gonna [ __ ] the gun was as big as he was and clint the guy clint said that it had to be 100 a marksman sharpshooter to get two or three perfect kill shots on jfk in the manner they go to split his head in half like that and if lee harvey oswald had no talent uh had no experience which he didn't then it's almost impossible that it was him yeah and also people heard something on the grass you know and by the way nobody would ever ever know to call that a grassy knoll if this didn't happen why did they decide to call it a grassy knoll why don't they just say it was on the fence with the grasses what's a [ __ ] no i don't know do you know what a knoll is before this happens in the park i've been like meet me and let's have a picnic on the no no never on the gnaw what the [ __ ] but now that should happen today i mean there'd be witnesses because there'd just be a protest if there's grass there's a protest yeah there's always cameras now you can never pull it off but here's the deal um how often do i say here's the deal a lot i need to be put down i have to be put down for a few for a few reasons yeah yeah one of which is you know yeah um yeah how did okay so some people think that the teamster leader jimmy hoffa uh played by uh al pacino and the irishman they think that he conspired with the mafia to kill jfk and the reason why is because the teamsters pension fund grew so much in the mid 20th century that they were funding construction casinos in las vegas and things like that and then jfk was going to crack down on that and he needed to go yeah the other thing a lot of people don't know about jfk be honest with you is uh you already brought up the fact he was banging everyone's wife there's a great book called the dark side of camelot by seymour hersh about that but also a lot of people don't know the kid had debilitating back pain throughout his entire life and he was a gambling addict was he gambling i think so i knew he had debilita like debilitating back pain to the point sometimes he couldn't go out he had to lay down he had to take a lot of painkillers so this could have been a drug hit that could he could have could like somebody could have sold him oxy this could have been the same reason why somebody might get killed in like a suburb of new hampshire they didn't pay their oxy dealer they pay their oxy deal yeah who's and the actor dealer's richie g based off his apartment yeah i mean richie g cuz if there if you don't think he's had a couple of strippers up there yeah who he's paid an extra couple c notes to do extra things yeah then you got another thing coming i mean richie g got a few dms from some female members of the matriarchy after they saw his career yeah i mean one of them was adventure garrosh yeah richie g is no question the type of guy who will have cocaine when you go into his apartment the kids got freshly cut cocaine and that's just what richie g is okay so jfk was elected president in 1960 um he appointed his brother robert as the attorney general um and a lot of people think that robert kennedy was really the initial mafia target there's a mob boss v if we could go to the end with the notes where at the end there was a mafia guy um that uh no i think at the end of mafia guy in his deathbed all the way at the end i think it was at the very bottom okay yeah in 1964. no no no we could read that i just there we go yeah that right there um santos trafficante and carlos marcello allegedly arranged the assassination of president kennedy regano um uh i'm sorry and then uh frank regano is a guy who wrote a book about this about these mob bosses santo santos trafficante and carlos marcello were my bosses and uh regano said in his book that when traffic conti was dying in 1987 he confessed to having a role in the killing though he says the mob eventually came to my boss eventually came to regret not killing uh robert instead of his brother yeah but robert did eventually get killed so who knows if the mob did that too they blame that on what's that guy's name bouchos boutros something yeah yeah butcher who was the yeah he was the head of the united nations but he also probably killed kennedy oh so buchos buchoskali didn't kill rfk who killed rfk sandra d is it butchers butcher scally who what's the [ __ ] guy's name his name is sandra dave what is it it's nail bearing smirnoff yeah who the [ __ ] killed him it's yeah yaakov smearing off yeah what's the kid's name the kid was uh bertros butrescali who's who killed rfk if we can look at that who who who are they who do they pin it on you know i'm smeared off what's his name oh there is perpetrator sharon saron yes duran duran killed him yeah i mean the kid definitely was a deep level fully charged sandra d yeah it's what can you do yes sirens are on this kid was a 24 year old kid i mean i don't buy any of it what's your take what do you think really happened yanni based off the book that you read what happened um what i think happened is jfk was killed by johnson lyndon b johnson lyndon b johnson and they set up the squeak they set up the squeak because think about it nobody ever says they're a patsy if they kill someone they want credit they want credit anyone who kills a president actually wants credit that's not the psychological profile of someone who kills a president to say i'm just a patsy i'm being set up they go yeah i did it this is the reason why i did it this is my mission statement you know the guy that killed john lennon said he did it to end the 60s right you know so there's always a statement the guy who killed lincoln jumped on the stage and said you know said taranis tyrannosaurus rex yeah you know he spoke some latin or whatever yeah so it's like this guy says he's a pastor who said yeah and then he jumped on stage to follow me on patreon at patreon.com john wilkes booth [Laughter] and then so obviously and then they silence him jack ruby a guy dying of cancer oh that's a coincidence so jack ruby killed so take a jack ruby is the guy who famously killed lee harvey oswald in broad daylight in front of the media and then jack ruby died how many how long after jack ruby died like he had a brain that he had cancer um and he was dying and so he died like weeks or months or a year after that right that was very convenient very convenient so and uh it's just convenient too that he was able to just mosey right up on there and kill him also it's a coincidence johnson what i learned from the book johnson and there's other sources that johnson hated kennedy right hey everyone because he was a catholic he was a dirty uh potato monkey yeah so to these wasps you know you think about it there's only been one non-wasp president that was kennedy being an irish back then even obama's a wasp even obama's mother was a wasp yeah and the father um was uh he was a muslim way zhong zhang what is this that's what i hear from from the tea party i'm kidding obviously he's not but he was just joking around yeah we're joking around so kennedy was the first non-wasp president obama was the first non-us citizen president yeah exactly exactamundo so that was a big deal they hate him he was also an outsider also his father was a stone cold uh mafioso he was a bootlegger right his dad joe kennedy and also they actually stole the election with mafia muscle right so there was a lot of there was a lot he had a lot of enemies and then on top of that he was banging everyone i mean he was a guy who was a complete uh absolute sex addict like he could not keep his little potato monkey paws and there were no rubbers there were no robert's back there he might he might have a few kids floating around i mean the kid could have whatever whatever but he was banging everybody banging marilyn monroe banging everybody i mean he appoints his brother robert kennedy that's nepotism that's like what trump's doing with his [ __ ] son-in-law and you know that's like trump's pizzerias yeah and then the cuban missile crisis happened so i think lyndon johnson who was appointed as vice president only to win the south it was a real political machiavellian move where jfk is going look we want to appeal to south get texas boom also he got killed where in lyndon b johnson state texas texas and also linda b johnson is the one who told him he's got to go campaign in texas so interesting we got to go get my state so he set him up he had the most to gain it was a coup he he put himself in power and he murdered kennedy who he [ __ ] hated and also the establishment wanted him dead because after the bay of pigs [ __ ] up you got to put someone down that's how the mafia rules go you open your [ __ ] mouth like me and you it's good we're not involved with [ __ ] mafiosos because you can't just [ __ ] things up yeah they just they put you down you broke the [ __ ] rules chrissy we told you you come [ __ ] do that yeah by the way can i ask you a question yeah you want to hear anything funnier than police surveillance tapes of mafia guys social club it's the funniest thing of all how many times do they say [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] yeah yeah i mean those guys and i don't even know why mafia guys even have a top button on their shirt it is never buttoned they're always about four buttons down yeah they just button their shirts halfway up and uh yeah it's just great yeah mom we would not be good in the mafias because having a big mouth and a big ass ain't gonna cut it ain't gonna cut it but anytime you listen to any of those surveillance tapes the the guys are like as hilarious and animated as you think they were if i put that [ __ ] guy in the dirt you know yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] them all yeah [ __ ] them all right so and and so that's probably what you said is probably honestly what happened the good thing i think there's a year coming up who do you think killed him marilyn monroe's boyfriend somebody got revenge because he did they say that him and robert they say marilyn monroe banged up both them first of all hollywood's a strange place if you make it to be the top star icon and you kill yourself it's like i don't want any part of that town oh yeah i don't want to be you know so kashuchi bank jfk joe dimaggio joe dimaggio um joe joe list no they say uh joe dimaggio she was married to joe um they said she banged jfk and rfk she bounced both of them and then they had her killed to keep her quiet because she was like getting emotional and stuff like that and they were like listen damn they called everyone dame damn what's up damon i mean the [ __ ] glory days where you could just call a girl dame call girl damn i mean yeah listen damn listen listen yeah all right you don't talk unless you were spoken to okay you're [ __ ] you're a dame and that's what you are yeah can we just start talking like that again let's do it let's bring it right the hell back let's invent it here get me a coffee and and be quiet yeah all right so yeah so that's what happened [ __ ] you think happy you're irish catholic i'm not a [ __ ] expert i'm a greek talking about your business your people talk you look you tell me you're a catholic kid what happened was this a [ __ ] priest coming back from from to get revenge because they he he outed him i think what happened most likely is based off you know my life and what happens when you go down to cuba and latin american countries is what happened was is he went down there he hooked up with a cubana chick she got pissed off climbed up to the top of the [ __ ] book depository in dallas and put two in his [ __ ] don't piece for not texting her back so that's what happened that's you know you've never heard that theory and that is a good theory absolutely she [ __ ] went down there and she [ __ ] you know she hit she hit the gun in her chunk that does and she just [ __ ] assembled at the top of the roof and hit him with two to the head drank a bustelo and then just went home and went to see town and bought [ __ ] you know bought some otto's computer yeah and that's what it is there go you have one first there it is that's how you have it this is conspiracy cuties i'm out of gas and here that's funny is our sign is us uh drinking a couple smoothies right when kennedy's about to get assassinated it's just uh the artist uh what's his name again great joe joey joseph dot joey dots on instagram joseph thoughts joey dots yeah so there you go conspiracy cuties there's the scoop he was killed by a cuban latina s lucky ass yes we really hope you enjoyed that episode whatever it was about this is just a stock thing that we're taping on to every episode so go make sure you rate review us subscribe uh turn on your notifications get jiggy with it and go to patreon.comridgeboys where things get really wild

Channel: History Hyenas

Views: 33,362

Rating: 4.9449224 out of 5

Keywords: Chris Distefano, chris Distefano comedy, Yannis Pappas, Chris Distefano Podcast, History Hyenas, bayridge boys, comedy, comedian, podcast, Andrew Schulz, conspiracy cuties, history hyenas, joe rogan experience, jfk, jfk assassination, lee harvey oswald, jfk conspiracy theory, errol morris jfk documentary, jfk assassination footage, dallas, john f. kennedy, dealey plaza, jack ruby, single bullet theory, magic bullet theory, the umbrella man, jfk assassination files, assassination

Id: G4uUOjd7U6E

Length: 27min 6sec (1626 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 28 2020