The Andrew Schulz Returns!

[Music] [Music] oh hello to everyone out there guess what it's another episode of history hyenas you already knew that but what you don't know is that we got our great friend back the one the only Andrew Schultz every bye guys yes Andrew Schultz is here and I'm wearing his merch the anti social justice warrior sweatshirt cuz I'm trying to increase the chance that he retweets one of our clips do it you look I'm just trying to I just got it you know when the Fury's here you got a dress in the Nazi uniform he just was he's weird I'm wearing the SS uniform it's the FF uniform that's never good yeah would you wear that sweatshirt you got a better chance to get recognized as a fan of Andrews then you do it yourself no I got one but whether the number one thing and this is our technology Mike's phone Mike's phone is our technology might as well be doing this podcast on his phone we've been sitting here for 45 min of so much about Andrew Schultz's success is that now no black teenagers come up to me and think I'm him guy code the black kids just couldn't tell the difference on CC but now they know shelters yes people never forget it was like maybe like three or four years ago yet said something wild I forgot but it was funny I've just forgot what it was but some guy comes up to me and he's [ __ ] pissed off about something you said and he's like yelling at me in the street like that ain't right fam and all that [ __ ] I'm like and at first I'm like what is he talking about right here by West fourth yeah and then he said something I'm like do you want Andrew Schultz he's like yeah I was like that's not me yeah he was like you know [ __ ] some code I was like I'm the other white guy he goes oh my bad just what you said I was like oh [ __ ] oh all other races look the same to someone who's distant to the other right so someone who's removed from right yeah who looks the most different the most different it's Asians Asians you think look the most different they looked the most different to each other else to each other because they have their really good at telling difference no right yeah I don't think so no you didn't hear about that Korean the story Korea where that Ali's a really good friend of mine who when she's not wearing a glasses I have no idea who she I think it's dope or a Jew yang Yang who's my candidate for president because he's the most American one he was made in China there's Korea where the doctor gave the abortion to the wrong girl Wow Wow Wow yes whoopsie yeah whoopsie yeah that is what they call a whoopsie days that is a legal case in Long Island yeah loves to sue it's a suing Island baby yeah you call it a freebie yeah I I didn't hear about that but I do know that Koreans we discovered here they have a gene in their body where they don't smell they don't smell from their armpits really yes and scientists have tried to put it in like different deodorants and stuff like that but it's a Korean gene they just don't they don't have a body odor real and it's like it's science thing it's wild it's a science thing they got no fumes Koreans we've talked with that you know fumes can we look that up because I just want to make sure that's not true holy composition of sweat so they do not produce body odor yep Wow we could pretend all we want that we're not different we're different yeah because I got for you Lou Thesz where we're not created equal now we're now I know they want to say that in preschool day in and day out it's like no guy you're not okay my daughter comes almost like we're all crazy oh I'm like now the kid next you has a peanut a you don't yeah I mean when you look at Mike emoji face and you look at Schulz and you look at me we're not created equal yeah if we had a race right now Schulz is coming in first I'm coming in second there is no question Mike emoji face is coming in third it's what it is No ten to ten times absolutely treat people fairly fairly an equal but the thing World create equals like now guys yeah it's more marketing yeah no it's more mark its marketing its marketing its condition thing it's just marketing well piece of marketing yeah someone had to invent that idea imagine the first person that said we're all created equal everybody look around like yeah the most interesting thing I've learned about America while doing this podcast and doing the research and reading all that is that the whole idea of America was just marketing yes like we've talked about this where they were losing soldiers the American Revolution was losing soldiers in 1775 uh-huh so they said you know what nobody wanted to fight anymore though yeah [ __ ] this so George Washington Ben Franklin they were like you know what's a good at market you know what we'll get him to stay if we say we want independence from England instead of just being taxed equal attack instead of just being represented in Parliament equally why don't we just why don't we just create this idea of Independence and the people like oh yeah but nobody really wanted it they just started making brochures and like let's be independent yes and then the whole war changed because the people like will stay we want to be independent but it was just it was just a marketing ploy by George Washington get the soldiers to stay it's wild know England wasn't doing that all england was doing was not taxing them properly it was not representing them properly back to them too much taxing them too much and they felt like if they're gonna tax it like that you gotta get a seat in parliament I mean isn't that the most fascinating thing about the revolution is that like within five years of revolting against a foreign leader for taxation purposes you know they form a government that taxes them sure that's what it is like we literally create the Kingdom five years later yeah it's the same thing that's the most genius thing about Hamilton right yeah yeah five years later hey we got rid of those taxes right how about this idea we just have one government they like taxes all of you and we look at that like it's absurd I'm sorry yeah look we look at that like it's reasonable because we all pay taxes now but like back in a day if you lived in Maine you were never going to Virginia no that was like a four month trip yeah on like horseback and you'd be dead by the time you got there you lose at least one family member for sure so why the [ __ ] should you infringe on what I do and mate like the whole idea of like the state's thing [ __ ] its conditioned thinking but it makes sense I get it yeah I like the idea that in Maine you could do whatever you want I actually would be totally fine in America it's like some states abortion was illegal so that's the idea if you don't wanna [ __ ] you're a Jefferson you're a Jefferson kid yeah you want I think I'm a jefferson states rights yeah it's rights I'm like if you guys want to do it who the [ __ ] am I to tell someone in Maine whether or not you should use straws or whether or not you should bang it I guarantee nor 19 okay isn't that the whole point of this [ __ ] yeah possibly country no that's the point of America our country what made our country because I mean I mean you can do that to some degree like some counties can be dry so can you can you know you can't you can't have alcohol but I mean you have to have some you got to be able to kill a baby in the loft you know louder then agree no there's a line do it if you wanted to say you want to be like no rules like you have to have some rules but you can't just put it all the way you have a backbone look at any great Empire Ottoman Empire right yeah listen great Empire stop it boy you still got your culture cuz of the Turks yeah because we resisted them no because they let you keep it that's what the Turks did they go hey you want to keep your edge because you're louder right yes it does Turks came in they said hey you got your [ __ ] paid a [ __ ] tax we didn't say it like that they went my Turkish like a [ __ ] is this black stomata hamato who's this it sounded more like that better I think it works better you do your [ __ ] over here Rudy why we had this little water look you need a backbone again that's not why we had this award you know I thought it was about corn and tobacco well I was yeah economy but but North it but I will say this it's I don't think it's differing the the people I just think the work that the slaves need to do was in the South the economy if that economy was in the north of cotton was growing in the north then it would be reversed yeah that's that was an economy there were slaves in the north right yeah then the economy trains to change transitions like this industrial situation so you didn't need this is profitable dude slaves are expensive hell yeah how many what percentage of Americans had slaves 3% yeah la la la it was like a car you had a mortgage yeah her sleigh it was so the ID you had to pay their health care right who it to house them you had to feed them the average person ever sits on a skateboard yeah because it's like it's like it's like as evil as evil as a slave master was it's like they still need to feed them and keep them hydrated and healthy or else they can't do the work exactly though yeah so it's it's almost mind-boggling when you see the movies where they all they're doing is just whipping and beating them it's like well how are you gonna do the things you need in the do tomorrow yeah it's like you can only hit the horse so much right like if you had a horse that takes you around this I can miss get mildly uncomfortable why I mean water looks so long for that bucket sound of phone dude Wyatt think about like let's let's transition it to even like when they have like kids working in factories or all this right yeah it behooves you to have a good environment for them to work in so that you can get more work out of them but Jordan they still treated him like [ __ ] of course they treated like [ __ ] but if they treated them so badly that they couldn't work with that would that be a good investment yeah it would have been but they didn't that's why we have loss no no I asked you a question you didn't listen to I did if they Translate is so badly that they couldn't work right would that be a good return on their investment in the tires of the car can the car drive is good no so then why the [ __ ] aren't you let's say when I'm talking you yeah they treat the work if you poke holes in the people do they get as much work out of the dough that's the question good answer enough out of you okay let's get back to and should be mike-mike a Drobo he's pissed off that zach [ __ ] the camera zone breathe it doesn't matter I just might be a little late for my daughter's picking her up from ballet the other kid whose parent to come pick them in school and even as a kid you're like what kind of parents shows up late now I'm like everything because my kid doesn't know time so every day on the parent board on the on the parent-teacher app I'll message the teacher back hey I'm gonna be five minutes late don't tell Delilah it's time cuz if I if she she only knows when daddy's here it's that's it but if the teachers like oh he's daddy's late then it's she's like gets upset but if I'm like listen it is 2:30 but it's really 4:30 she doesn't [ __ ] know yeah she just what yeah so that's what we do so I'm gonna be fine and say hey just don't say anything there's an app oh yeah we were going to school you just wait it dudes there's an there's an app not on for my kid I know everything she's doing in school all the time her bowel movements when she goes to the bathroom what she eats how much of it she ate pictures uploaded constantly how do you know the bowel movement so it'll say you know my daughter's name and then I'll say you know on the thing BM or it'll say it'll say bowel movement or what's urine number one or pp yeah it'll say P the to push a button every time your kid goes to the bathroom the teacher's assistant will you be the one like taking pictures and then when a kid goes to the bathroom they like it's called brightwheel they log into bright we all it's like a national thing and then they upload a not a picture of it but they'll say this is what you know it's like ring for you know what you know why it's too much it is but you know why too much you know I check it in your kid's hard enough having separation anxiety from your child now when she starts kindergarten yeah obviously all that stuff stops I'm gonna be used to like this time next year I'm just gonna drop my kid off at school and then I'm only gonna see her again at 2:30 where today I've seen my daughter throughout you just know what's going on see how slavery to kids that's right takes what kid shits I do it from slavery to kid I think it was an intentional hard left turn I know why this anger it's okay let's just talk about kid poop let's let's just make fun of less all I saw yeah the wheel are counting lives in a tent I say he was like a bus driver oh [ __ ] my kid shits guys my kid [ __ ] might got me riled up right there yeah I get it let's see that me I why is he talking all I heard his spicy talk I didn't know did you do talk a lot during this out this is the Mosley's ever talk but but but just cuz you're louder doesn't mean you right now I [ __ ] are you talk to me like that we're gonna spank him when you leave he's gonna get spanked yeah I am yeah so so I think the disagreement started over states rights federal rights which you don't believe each state should have their own sovereignty to do what they want not total not no not total of course not total no it wasn't that I said we have a backbone right that's the Constitution right yeah everything not included in the backbone right should be up to the states what we're doing now is we're expanding the backbone too much and I'm like listen we had a good backbone yeah and if this state wants to do it and the majority that people agree yeah I'm respected among I seriously think do we agree or not there needs to be a population cap on what a country can be because once it gets too big it just becomes impossible yeah but this thing to do so sup with your marker see we did mark was reading China you wanna killin it yeah - yeah yeah but we need a population we need like that you like a limit right no but I'm sort of barriers just a little bit are you talking about a barrier it's like - oh boy it's really close to 400 million gets a little difficult no you can do whatever you want Sweden they got 50 100 mil they got seven mil they got seven million maybe so they got sweet it's like between five and nine so that's one project building another country it's not like these people countries they're not country they're not have a city state it's a singapore singapore twin front what is it ten point twelve million it was six before all the mozzies came yeah way to come because they wouldn't lift bricks yeah I know it's literally all this yeah so yeah set sex crimes against women went up though but that's a little bit okay that's fake so Sweden has these crazy sex crime laws where if you like if you like touch a girl's own work yeah right they call that rape right yeah so and here it is if it happens every day during the week you know that's five rapes a we go yeah I know sex crime laws went creep look at it in Sweden Sweden has passed a new law that criminals sex without consent is rape right even if there are no threats no coercion I mean that's why it's so basically anytime a girls like I feel comfortable they consider it rape so then rape skyrocketed and then all these right-wing journalists in America like rape everybody was just kidding with the Muslim thing cuz the truth is even with that law and the Muslim it's like yeah if a population a big influx of one group yeah Zayn and that doesn't look like the other group and everybody commits crimes too sweet crimes and Muslims so that's one thousand people come in you're gonna get that percentage more murders of course crime you raise the speed limit 10 miles per hour 10,000 people die there's like some actual amount that every mile per hour you raise the speed limit people got it's interesting though because on the autobahn in Germany there's no speed limit and they have some of the lowest car crash deaths in the world yeah but you try to say that Germans are the master race I'm gonna say this Chris not all their ideas but some of them were good ideas the majority of award but there was a few good ones like is that what you have these red microphone covered yeah yeah this red and black seems quite familiar it's nice Wow yeah yeah the coloring in this room yeah yeah no III after we're at this point I just click the button and the flag boil down its three hyenas that comes H Wow here urine above the Comedy Cellar cellars where Jews would hide from whoa no wonder you don't want states rights Mike you want to be able to round up all the Jews yeah do whatever you please without yeah yeah yeah but he's yeah what nobody's here we call it my Mexican pack yeah yeah we've been figured out yeah I mean this whole thing was just a front for a [ __ ] art Nazi ideas be wild but it would mean it's not we're saying it's not you gotta really like it's real no it's not it is not I promise you it's not promises you not SiriusXM they promise you it's not keep those cheques coming yeah hecho con slash Bay Ridge Boys we do not support anything anti-semitic no I agree with that yeah but we do support Muslims we do support absolutely we do Muslims we do support much how do you support them I support Muslims how do I support them I hate you yeah I get hummus all the time goddamn this is a quack beer yeah I mean we're who's you take a left it's really a right yeah yours though no how much is theirs they can I'll give I'll give credit to that at esa no baklava though I think we have a case of baklava might be no it's a hundred percent curry you know how you got that hummus I do you think the rape Arabs Sam Ottomans bro Sabra although the monuments might have brought it over dawg that's not a yes but we don't know we don't know we don't know we a lot of Greek histories naked oh no it's like barbecue food right is it black food or is it why you may okay yeah no Nazi jokes usually come from that side Briggs I'm just saying you never know yeah yeah you know you know certain people claim certain Turkish coffee you reek off the key Greeks caught Greek Turks called Turkish okay the key with the honest for this podcast is when he's not he's in a good mood today born he's in a bad mood I have to drive with him be honest in the bad mood he's got to get it out in the car because with the windows closed my favorite young windows closed doors locked and then we 180 character tweet Yanis Johnny long days but if like them long day long when the Hult when I see a long tweet posted on Instagram I'm yeah always when you have to Google three you Torian society we live in when he starts using the word xtal you know it's back to my Texas wife I'm like where is he do you know where he is yeah now the first time you read that word what were you thinking yeah I don't know what that was yeah yeah Expo Expo yeah yeah totes been helping stay in the president be friendly what your president be friendly what your present at all times at all times babe Mike was being free you know what happened before it was kind of like to play it was kind of like the musical Hamilton okay that's well that is the oldest that was interesting because we're on history hyenas and that is essentially the oldest American argument federal versus state Hamilton first Jefferson yeah and these guys were about to have a duel but Mikey this kid knows had a kick box yeah so you would went down yeah yeah yeah well what can you do I wouldn't protected me because because she just fell off the chair I just broke the chair did you yeah I mean actually break it nothing worked yeah no no nothing work since you would have given me if you would have given me a thousand guesses I'm gonna said who's gonna break the chair first Michael I would have said Michael I see that's what the simulators are funny cuz I do the unexpected respected the skinniest guy by far in the room just broke the chair I mean Andrew weighs less than vanity yeah yeah now we got yeah let's get him a back yet caesura back you're a man um how was he saying I think that it all in all seriousness I do think it is a balanced mic I think that you need a balance I think that obviously there's important you can't have certain things without a federal government not one of these like insane libertarians these [ __ ] libertarians are so annoying got a pompous about it like they really think that they're so right it's like would you like national parks yeah do you like [ __ ] NASA yeah do you like duck tape yeah what do you got duck tape from yeah go to the [ __ ] moon do you like fail you like filing for bankruptcy when your business doesn't work out yeah pay the time any extreme is absurd but it's comfy extremes are so comfy because you can't be there right you'll never be in the extreme yeah right so my grace you just sit there and pontificate about what would be if we just you know took all our money blah blah you need a federal government when [ __ ] goes down you need to lay the [ __ ] hammer on Iran need the Fed you need the fact yeah yeah you can't yeah you can unfortunately Tennessee's not gonna get the job done Texas would Texas much yeah Texas verse France who wins Rhode Island over France say what I would I would put my money on Rhode Island over no yeah based we have air force do we have all actually like Texas is comes every independent it has that it has like this char what does I don't know how many people don't want to like over si but 30,000 soldiers with 30,000 people 20,000 animals fax yeah but there's like some crazy military-industrial complex that has like I don't I go as far as to say with the exception with the exception of because I do have a lot of money even though I don't have an army with the exception of Germany in England I would put Texas up against any other country in Europe I don't it's Iran because Iran it's got they got a deist military according to the news whether it's fake or no science not what what are they doing I know it's true what do they doing I know you really believe there was a really believe Texas you think that Iran could take out Texas no no no I'm just saying I think a seven-game series they might take two three games not even close yeah they might think we're like forgetting about our military superiority how wild it and I [ __ ] hate these like hipsters that come on Twitter start talking about like what we should do and yeah they don't you don't [ __ ] know poking the bear we're the bear yeah you're the [ __ ] Bentley yeah what is it Walter White said I'm the one who knocks yeah look at you pop some [ __ ] in an embassy in a [ __ ] patch of dirt we don't care about and we took out your number one they didn't take out some bum yeah we took out your number woman [ __ ] robot I support banning Schulz these clips in Germany in Italy yeah just rearrange the whole fabric of that nation if you throw some German subtitles under there if part of your shadow I mean that's just I am super funds at Knox I mean that's that's the type of person that can galvanize the proletariat yeah that's the type of national pride that yeah the poppers going what it is yeah it I don't know I just I was like baffled by these [ __ ] [ __ ] Rove's might show you a row do see rows McGowan's [ __ ] tweeting about but can you believe that there was someone who forced sex on her that was the only thing that I thought about after reading that tweak bit like who would want to force that acts on them yeah wait so what did she tweet what was it or maybe was Instagram I forget what it is but it's like we apologize to your people Iran you're great my favorite was Michael Moore sent a personal message on his podcast to the Ayatollah okay he was going he goes he goes don't worry guys I sent a message to Ayatollah on my podcast telling him please let's not go to war let us handle this peacefully and I was just thinking Holt I'm like yeah 2020 is wild is a [ __ ] wild their teacher vase is Golden Globe speech should go down in history I mean he should just it's just the best it was great him paying like you [ __ ] you're not none of you are woke it was great it was really great so let's see what Rose McGowan he said Wow keep going down I think as they're less likely to die I'm a registered Republican I came cocky but I don't know I don't know where it is I'll she might have delete it because now it seems like she's apologizing for yeah wolves lions eat swear see maybe she'd delete it on these yeah just like Iran was copping please you saw yeah this is what happens when you're when like when you're a Hollywood and you're near like the second leg of your career yeah you become its first you're like hot accuracy Jessica Fletcher it goes you think Iran to have to craft what some girl from charm says [Laughter] [Music] you say it's sort of like a pattern it's like you see with a lot of actors and actresses there's like the first phase of their career is like like they're they're hot as fish grease they're getting a lot of work and then the second phase is activist act that happens a lot when it's guilt you think you start making a lot of money and you start feeling guilty and you're like what should I do with all this like Fame and wealth and I think it's also and this happens to comics a lot it's like when you say something and people agree with you in front of like a crowd you start to get this I'm talking about comics that reach like the pinnacle you start to get this [ __ ] Jesus complex yeah sure right you're like you're getting close to much [ __ ] up [ __ ] but that's what keeps me level I think but my thing is I'll never want to be that's like any like charity [ __ ] that I do it's private you never know about churches yeah I think the second you start going look how great I am look you're a pretty problem the second you start making people feel like they ain't [ __ ] which is what these woke folks do they hate you I'm like I'm gonna make the worst jokes yeah when I say something [ __ ] up cuz i neva tably I will people are gonna Schultz said that alright whatever yeah I expect that I think there's a lot of narcissism in activism like how good I yeah and it's a way like if you're not getting work like you people aren't hiring you to say their words it's a way like if you don't have comedic talent or you can't put on your own thing it's a way to perform it's a way yeah to get people to listen you I think comedians do the same that's the easiest way yeah get getting a following through woke this is the easiest is it's the easiest way to get on stage but there's a low ceiling the most do you think that gives me chills up my spine the most disgusting thing I see some is the good Taylor Swift songs a good Taylor Swift song I love that yeah but when they make a statement on stage and it's an applause break gross Oh a comic be fine I'm not saying who could be so funny that gets an applause break beautiful stop but it's like when you just say something that isn't funny and then they clap like talk about the police or something with trumpets like [ __ ] get up what are you doing wrong I have to walk this is a TED talk but your politicians on the back of my head out of here I can't comedy and it's sad that the audience has even do that but don't you feel gross on state like just say something like sometimes just say you say something on stage you just kind of like make a statement about something yeah thanks for clapping it and then in that moment that [ __ ] there was I think there's a moment in Colin Quinn's old old special where he tells the audience not to applaud prom this is an old old special hey thought it was so good because for me the applause is always when you're done laughing yeah like there's no more laughter letter but I need to give you more be done I appreciate what you're giving me so now I'll laugh with my hands right but now we have this thing where we applaud before we even laugh with our mouths yeah because you're just saying what's right I mean some of the latest specials that have come out on Amazon Prime or Netflix it's just I mean woke pandering [ __ ] some people are dancing for three minutes before they tell a joke right it's like well I don't understand it's all fine and good but it's like to call all of it comedy stand-up comedy is getting what a little wild if you want to call it some performance whatever I got no problem that but you're billing the stuff as stand-up comedy and it's just a little like why is all this getting greenlit a stand-up specific cuz I think the rules are done I think we're out with the objective truth is up for grabs that's our culture right America going back to the original point which I thought was interesting it's all marketing which is what you saw even even what what truth is is more and we're living in sort of the culmination of that it's wrong truth is truth is what you can sell Judas was good because even let's take Iran the truth is that we're blowing them up and what we did and whatever blah blah but the truth in Iran side is there have been problems with certain United States people so it's like it's all it's so we're not blowing up our on no no I'm just saying I'm nuts around I'm just saying like like in in any war there's two sides you know an percent yeah but one person's terrorist is another person's freedom fights all 100% it's all about it was so funny what like Colin Kaepernick tweeted he tweeted some shitty psycho this is just another example of the American imperialism oppressing brown people it's like sure what do you think Soula many job is for Iran yeah it's Iranian imperialism sure he's the question I asked before anybody says anything I was like where'd he get blown up and they go Iran I go nowhere do you block is Iraq I go why the [ __ ] is he in Iraq right if we blow them up in Iran back right you're in the wrong place what are you doing there for fun you go for dinner yeah [ __ ] some [ __ ] up yeah they don't have a Sandals resort there are sound guys Muslim we could say these jokes then Mikey Mikey whatever whatever best first cuz he couldn t be either Mexican or Muslim we just whatever yeah we whatever fits our needs one day Mex if you make an ex Mexican Mafia Muslim it doesn't matter are you Muslim yes Palestinian oh you're Palestinian so as far as Muslims that's like the real deal yeah that's his Muslim from the home yeah I was in a store it's like the little brother so I was in the store once and with Jin you know again the squeaky's yeah he's got a music partner that would talk about in pocket and then Homeland Security walks and is dwarfism no he knew I was Muslim but didn't know where and he was just being an [ __ ] and I said palace he's like Palestine any changes whole [ __ ] attitude yeah yeah yeah Philistine right well what I was saying is going back to the original point about socialism about like what marks and angles did it just shows you that marketing is stronger than truth and it always will be because like you said imagine getting people to believe that we're all equal yeah when the evidence around you is so evident that we're not especially at that time now we're closer but imagine how unequal we were at that time like there were people that had wooden teeth and then no teeth yeah no teeth right there people had wigs and then no hair right it was so abundant that we weren't equal but who wouldn't adopt that Charlie what do you say you want to manipulate the proletariat right like if you're part of the proletariat wouldn't you adopt that ideology that you're equal to someone who is way more wealthy Morris I think it was it's a necessary equal but opposite extreme to what was going on because it was like way unequal right yeah yeah yeah the Kings the feudal system was taking everything yeah and they were going you know they were just giving scraps oh but not today all we do is the human condition is the same story it's a seesaw of extreme every single time and but I think we are gravitating towards like one I think we're going towards socialism like you know you you would I think you you tend to like the idea of socialism now what no you don't know it's like a balance he's a liberal cocteau but he doesn't like socialism interesting okay some things I lean more social I I'm gonna I'm what you call just like an adult he's in a gray area though but he's closer you're closer to liberal cut than anything look but you're not fully there but that's we're closer to that it depends on the issue health care I think could be a clip I posed it in a little bit opposed just think about the algorithm like you so I'll just try to get views I want to be a meme anything you still think it's like you were Trevor you are kind of a liberal [ __ ] now it'll just be that yeah yeah it'll be like that over and over again here's the thing about socialism right like it's a necessary temperance to capitalist I think yeah I but I think if you look at like if you look at human existence and what we gravitate towards I think we grab it leaders with charisma yes hundred percent hundred percent but I think we also gravitate towards happiness it just comes in waves so I think socialism is a more mature form of life and happiness though I'm not and I don't agree with it hundred what would I think weight reason why Europe subscribes to it and we don't write because we or in our first I mean may be made second generation of opulence right we think that having things is happiness and I think once you've been around for a few thousand years what are we four hundred years old once you've been around for a few thousand you start to realize oh [ __ ] the more things I have I don't get any happier oftentimes I'm actually more miserable to take Instagram right you know so and I think that's what you see in France and all these other places in Europe or they're like actually like having a full life and enjoying the things in life and take an August off and only work in 35 hours a week and spending time with your family and enjoying delicious wine and cheese and like that's actually will make you more happy yeah that's the real currency that's real currency so you gravitate towards a system that rewards and supports that and then the problem with that system is when there's no work now there's no money for cheese there's no money for wine there's no money whatever so then there will be a bounce-back either towards capitalism or a complete you know reversion into that communism whatever it is it vacillates it vastly but I do think as you want more personal happiness you gravitate towards a life with less material goods yeah well we are all capitals all capitals all material right sure absolutely have you guys lives chant like we've known each other through our richest times and probably our poorest times we've we've all been friends for maybe a decade Yeah right right more or less yes I'm I was richer when you guys were poor and now I'm poor with you guys are richer but I'll tell you it was a lot better back I remember I remember calculated how much you would make on those shows at Times Square Art Center you psychopath no cuz I was like yes I cuz you to me we're first to market with this indie [ __ ] like it was 30 grand you guys make sure we clip this right now go ahead say what you're gonna say so I've always I took a hundred percent of the door 100% of door and I've always a lot of mistakes but I always looked up as you know I always thought that you were this amazing like innovator and that you were like doing it yourself you know yeah and you had this amazing thing that caught on and you monetized it and it was great and you were selling out these shows you were making so much money I was like yeah that's it he's got it that's how you [ __ ] do it and it was super inspiring for me and and then I think with the success big paychecks come in and I think there's part of us that always wants to be validated by what we believe was the most important thing like see people still trying to make TV shows and [ __ ] like it's because we grew up thinking TV shows are cool they're dead I think that unless you want to last me to cash grant but it's not gonna make the cash to sell tickets right yeah but you had you had that [ __ ] moment and I remember seeing that when I was [ __ ] you know not dirt poor I'm not talking about like third-world poor but I was living yeah family insurer and then also we start to have some [ __ ] so we've had this kind of balance in terms of what it is my lifestyle you haven't stopped dressing the same way you haven't stopped dressing they say address worse I may be with more money I haven't stopped have we changed our lifestyles now comas have fluctuated in our bank it's a little thing called white privilege no matter where we are we're okay I mean maybe or or a snow Kass maybe it's because we really love this and yeah and there's a reason why I like like the second you gave me the opportunity to shoot your thing I want to do it because I know you love it right and I know there's people who do things for fame and the problem with doing things for fame is that once you get fame or success it exposes your true intentions you're trying it's like you love this [ __ ] you're gonna do this if you're broke or if you're rich yes nicer when you're rich but you love it yeah it's like I want to help people and I won't do anything I can for the people who love would love to because they'll just want to keep getting better and better at it I was 17 years old what and I just it's just always stuck in my head and I always just like especially started Connor I was just always telling myself this I was watching I'll never forget I was my mother had gout in her ankle so she wants that rich get richer so she was on the couch and I was dealing with like residual effects of mono so we're both laid out on the couch and my mother would always watch Oprah and she was it was one of like the first dr. Phil first time she brought dr. Phil on the show maybe it was 15 but Oprah's said they were talking and then Oprah said you know I love what I do dr. Phil and I always I always remember the money comes second that's what I that the money will always come second you put the password first and then the money comes if you try to put the money first yeah it's never gonna work or won't work out long-term and I was like oh that's because when people were and I was the physical therapist of people like why are you going to do open mics till 2:00 a.m. and then you drove to Delaware to open up for a community to make $25.00 like you're not making any money and I was like yep because I don't I'd rather be doing that for nothing than here is he leather getting paid you know so I put the but then it but now the money it's not rolling in just yet but it's like the money is very well I'm doing well you're doing very well yeah I got an apartment in Bay Ridge big step my mother wants to see Long Island and it's come yeah here we go yeah I mean you are and I got a friend from Park Slope my mother's happy that's big park that's huge yeah and that you got a friend that actually grew up was born and had two feet in the city when he was a baby baby my mother kindly asked me recently she said you know I want you to get a new girlfriend and be happy but I would just prefer if she doesn't have tattoos beside she wants me to go to yes because I haven't been favoring that side but a back I think point is father love man yeah I think I think like the love oftentimes we look at ourselves like the horse and we're chasing the carrot but if you love the game you're the carrot well money will find you well money always finds you if you care about what you do and you do it well that's why I think for having you know a wife or in my case a child is so important because it just it gets you back to that current you have a motivation due to my pilot well my pilot didn't get picked up on CBS we put a year of work into it and yeah whatever whatever and then it didn't get picked up and I remember telling my two-year-old daughter hey daddy's pilot didn't get picked up and she was like can you still push me on the swing that's all she asked she was it was a genuine question she's like I don't understand can we not go to the park anymore and I was like no stupid of course we can go to the park it's a [ __ ] television show yeah but she was saying like if we can go to the park and you can push me on the swing I don't care yeah then it was like oh I don't care you were French yeah but that never left me there it's like whatever goes as long as my kids healthy it's like I don't care well steel I want to do great but it's like that's not what the shit's about we're not taking any of our money TV shows YouTube clips with us when we die well none of that shit's gone with us the ultimate irony to the whole human condition is that the way to get the most out of life selfishly is to kind of give the most away because it's the only way to really stay here your money and all the things you accumulate nobody about their inanimate objects were gone they belong to you you're gone now they're objects they belong to somebody else but whatever you give to someone else whatever spirit you transfer to someone else whatever lessons you give to someone else however you help someone else that energy continues on sure so it's the ultimate irony that the most selfless things are the most selfish things in the most sense it's the life out of the most selfless it's a life hack that most people especially in the creative field because we're so [ __ ] empty and we need to fill ourselves first right it's the life hack that most people never even get to but you fill yourself through helping others and through giving others and it sounds corny even say it almost sounds like religiously religious but like you know what do they say like faith is in the work or something like that or there's some like saying in religion but like in other words like a long bar it if you do the things if you do the things you actually get to enjoy life while you're here instead of like waiting for that heaven Fisher and I think that's what religion is is just like tricking you into doing these things will make you feel good that's like all right these [ __ ] aren't gonna do this [ __ ] that I know will make them feel good fine you're gonna go to heaven and everything's gonna be there just do these things and then they see people doing them and actually feeling good all right these [ __ ] idiots Aaron I got it but the idea is if you're helping right that's the best I've felt and that's true to be honest like that's even like building the studio out in Brooklyn it's like part of that is obviously I want to put my podcasts up but I want to be put in a position where I can like help New York comics that like love it and deserve it and they need the an opportunity and a leg up and like I had like there are people who helped me out [ __ ] Rogen Charlamagne these people like what I realized is that if you're good and you love it [ __ ] will find you hell yeah if you're not good and you don't love it nobody's gonna find you and you will be by yourself and bitter but how good you love it people that understand what it is well I always gravitate to you my grave every single time I agree and if you are not being gravitated to you you were [ __ ] up right yeah because people who really get it understand it when they see it yeah right yeah you know did you want you because you just want to eat up I'm going to talk about the cleanest Fink's and all that stuff did you what did you find differently about being in the Middle East and doing all that than this um in here um I do something great like the the pyramids and the Sphinx I think you know the 2015 slaves well here's the thing yeah uh the pyramids were the most unreal things I've ever seen in my entire life slavery built that right I don't know if I believe that yeah you think people will fully picked up two-ton stones and moved them up there I think so must have been a charismatic Pharaoh that [ __ ] told them that hey I think was that Pharaoh's name Andrew Schultz pick up the rocks are calm because because we only hit them because we [ __ ] to truly love Akash he doesn't hit me back to be great because you're in the crosshairs of flavor I'm calling ice you're like a jokey song she you're like the Jesse small out of podcast yeah I just set it up for the attention yeah that get me flagrant to get me I'm right over here they came over they had a news I want to be so the pyramids they say were built four thousand years ago right which by the way is wild to go back to what you said earlier which is truth is marketing sure whatever and there's great marketing surrounding this [ __ ] right there looks who built them did you a slave's brother now that's baked into the religion it's baked into the not only that religion the religions that follow it it's a lot of truth right as we say in books right what struck me is crazy the craziest thing about the pyramids is this these massive structures you can't even understand how big they are until you're there in front of you cannot understand it I was speechless I'm not speechless often and you're a tall drink water tall drink of water yeah truly speechless yeah first thing that hit me I go like this I'm Sarah I'm saying in front of a great pair of bees at Giza and I go how much time uninterrupted would you need to complete a project like this uninterrupted yeah where the wars you know you have this type of like wealth you need wealth and you need time in order to create three of those in a row plus three little ones and then there are practicing and other ones in the region well in time how do you have that wealth in time so I asked the guide and they're like use a Kairos really interesting city the way it's located is on the right side is an impenetrable forest literally can't get in on the left is the Sahara it's a desert you cannot exist in this [ __ ] desert right and then in the middle is the one river in the whole world that flows north and when it overflows in flood season food grows out of the ground at a rate that is uncompromising on this little piece of land not only do they have protection from all sides they have a river flowing source with clean water food that on its own sprouts out of the [ __ ] ground food is currency back in the day we're talking about music maybe ten thousand years ago yeah maybe thirty thousand years ago we don't know really win every war used to be fought over salt that's it this is where civilization started hard right and they defined civilization is writing that's where and the Egyptians were the first to do to do that they got that well no no because it was before moseys only for 200 years old Sandy's got that much yeah so so you have this information where where they have the perfect opportunity for prosperity nobody [ __ ] with them and if you get a benevolent dictator in that time you could create some cool [ __ ] now there's no [ __ ] TV there's no Instagram there's no movies there's nothing they got some consolations that they pretend look like Orion yeah that's their cartoons they have literally nothing to do yeah your food grown out everywhere you need to organize society and you need to have things for people to do apparently and this could be [ __ ] truth but they have the community where the workers lived and apparently they didn't live poorly they have like evidence of them eating meat and drinking wine and beer apparently they're doing like 8-hour shifts I don't know how to calculate that kind of [ __ ] but like and they said when I asked the guy was like I heard I thought they Jewish ladies but the pair of minutes and she was like oh no that would never happen and then he I was like why is that she was you have to understand if this was a religious temple you would never allow someone to build it in honor of your God they didn't believe in it interesting she actually said something interesting she said that that was a marketing employ by jews because jews airway egala yeah this was interesting and this is what she said she's like jews believe that their promised land is from the Jordan River to the Nile which includes Cairo which includes Giza Jesus on the other side of the river so you cross that River into Cairo guide so that River where Moses was found is Kyra Kyra right but the pyramids are in Giza the pyramids in Giza on the other side - just imagine Manhattan Brooklyn there's also Giza there's also a [ __ ] pyramid in Las Vegas so we got one too we got one two hour tops makes a lot of money he got out of it so it's just an interesting interesting thing this this these things could be erected right and I don't believe there are tomb I don't believe there are any of that kind of [ __ ] I don't know what exactly were but like the way I the what happened my takeaway from this experience with the pyramids was this I don't think that human progress is linear I used to think it was linear right I used to think it was like humans invent the wheel sure we get some fire we get some buildings we get some internet and now here we are yeah I don't think that I think that humans given amazing circumstances like Cairo in probably Mexico City and these other Picchu in Peru whatever can have amazing progression in short periods of time sure but since we weren't global societies back then when a human group a civilization if you will when extinct their technology went extinct with them lost it all an Amazon tribe goes extinct right now they probably have tons of remedies with the leaves in the wood and that kind of Sean oh that's gone yeah so I think this society that built this was a an advanced human society maybe 10,000 maybe 20,000 made 30,000 years ago there's water erosion markings on the Sphinx there are 30 thousand years old apparently right so I think they built that because they lived in prosperity they had amazing trajectory in terms of you know technological advancement and then they probably died out because it famine or whatever it is oh who knows what the [ __ ] was and then afterwards our humanity discover these pyramids and then we start chipping away at them to make stones this kind of [ __ ] like that right but the Egyptians that made Cairo did not make the pyramids what's amazing to me is that yeah it was so long ago the Greek historian Herodotus who was describing the pyramids was 2,000 years after they were built so is he when is he we're talking about so right before be seized and and that's the only so that's how long ago the pyramids were to that we're like a couple thousand years away from ancient Greece ancient Greece was a couple thousand years away okay Egypt so even that's a log damn even I'm calling it the Great Sphinx was not the Egyptians that was the Greeks 2,000 years later calling it the great space and I'm so interested but they think the Sphinx is at minimum eight thousand years old and maybe thirty thousand dude how they how they built these things I started dude I went to a wormhole and how they built these because I was like how do I do it how do you get these rocks you know wait so they say they don't know whether because they're saying it was four thousand years ago but they're saying maybe they know go understanding they could know that by carbon dating exactly and they don't let you carbon date him the people that went down there their carbon datum isn't John Anthony Lester did it broken about this and another guy named shock something shock you can look I'm a SCA hoc K he was some Jeremy Shockey no it's a good white football player yes yeah it's good for like half a season yeah I got a ring I think was saying with the Saints red yeah yeah so anyway they did some like carbon dating tests on the rocks and they found like water erosion that was like way older and Wow so it was crazy it's a lot of crazy [ __ ] but like you said truth is what's in the marketing they want to believe that their generation of Egyptians built these things or their generation of whoever built them and they want to take ownership of these things then they have to go now this happened within our time it's like imagine like you know you know why people come to America and then Native Americans have built a bunch of dope [ __ ] and we were just like not how we build that right you know imagine we're like now we made corn and Thanksgiving like yeah we give away that credit but imagine the otherwise right of course they do because that's all they have right not a lot of [ __ ] has popped off in Egypt yeah since then all right oh the had their day they the way they built it apparently there's an amazing video about this well the Greeks made a hot Alexandria got hot for a second Alexandra was crazy yeah the Greeks made hot Greeks made it huh which made everything hot they made it higher Greeks made it hot Romans Romans MIT yeah Romans took it to the next level because they took the Greek and took it to the next level but it is a little linear in the sense that you look at that stuff it's amazing yep but then you look at the detail of like the Parthenon and Greeks cultures during antiquity and you go like okay Egypt was like the NBA before it got in so Bob Cousy so and then Greece was when the MA fries came Michael Jordan and we took art culture to a whole new level yes I agree I think that so I got really interested in when I was watching this to nerd out for a second is I think they're called megaliths and these are these massive rocks like that are the size of this room almost literally the size of room imagine a solid rock right a solid but perfectly cut anybody could move the little rocks sure how the [ __ ] do you move the big ones that are perfectly shaved and cut easy go [ __ ] Giants from Game of Thrones there we go yeah most of the guys Ron keto when you're on keto you could do anything the rock could do it right I know okay well I I don't know I wasn't there but you know you watch Larry you watch the ancient aliens and all that I think what you said before is it's we don't we underestimate what the human mind can do when they're being forced to do something or the love of the religion and just no distractions strike they are just moving London's fund it's like you could do anything like they may be tapped it to a higher percentage of their brain that we don't even know exists because we're so distracted who knows yeah maybe the key to it maybe distraction is the you know the worst thing for us I don't know and they didn't have any of them what what the way I looked at is like what would be the like we use electricity for everything because that's the most powerful thing of the time right that's our most about phones or electricity computers everything's electricity that's our superpower right what would be the superpower if you didn't have electricity homosexuality obviously obviously up there you gonna get some dirt that is the spark that opens up the brain to achieve yeah Michael Angelo Elton John Eminem this can go on of great guy musicians yeah that it just takes you to another level yeah an auto - Vinci Leonardo DiCaprio yeah we're talking about poor guy Leonardo the ninja turtle yeah literally ninja turtle he's the gay one yeah gotta tell us here's the staff choice - purple yeah all of ancient Greece was everyone bisexual it unlocks a high levels or the gay flag sorry they're games orange red purple blue dude they were gay gay gay guys living in the closet yeah whoa yeah yeah and also GI Joes those guys they have no [ __ ] wives or families gay guys but am I wrong am I wrong there's something there I I there's something there I think it's just you try and distract yourself or morning dick all the time Socrates Plato just and push hey guys hey guys chasing [ __ ] tons of extra time because you can just get laid whenever you want as a gay guy not worrying about children you're not worried about children oh my god no this age wasn't real yeah no age you're not buying chicks drink so you got enough money to work on your little projects like if Leonarda videos trying to be like flex and like get [ __ ] and like buy girls [ __ ] and chariot rides and [ __ ] like that there's no way that you would have had the money to do all these experiments yeah that's the thing goes yeah by the way speaking of gays John Travolta gay Andrew J zanuck gay yeah Andrew Jesslyn Anthony you said you saw a lot of gays in the Middle East right oh it's kind of crazy oh no no so homosexuality it's super gay there but it's not gay the most affectionate culture you've ever been between men but it's not considered gay it's not considered gay right but the Italians are very affectionate well it's just it's just it's just again it's more marketing it's like it's like in the 1700s our founding fathers who we're stocking high-heeled shoes and wigs but that's not being trans that's not being a crossdresser but it is now you know what it wasn't back then I think it was a little back that oh no I thought was a little back no I'm saying I'm saying what's just bleep up they had stockings on and they had long hair and wigs they were [ __ ] wild I say yeah but but I'm saying like if I went home with the girl in the 1700s and I was wearing stockings a wig and and not shoes you're a guy yeah her dad would give me a beer you're not gonna happen tonight yeah but I'm gonna happen to 2020 in Bay Ridge can we just take a second to think about how wild ancient fashion was now it's what it's especially that like little like Victorian period like the early American where wearing other people's hair somehow what kind of serial killer [ __ ] is that bra was real hair of other people yeah who would do that do that people my fanbase even before this Mikey we're talking about legs I mean the kids had stockings on which shoes and they were wearing other people's hair and not only were they wearing other people's hair the hair was gray they would powder it gray I love that they went for that look yeah they leaned into what was inevitable yeah yeah you know if I'm gray you can't say I'm going great yeah yeah do you think that was beautiful you think that style will ever come back because we're kind of like out of [ __ ] at the hips we'll bring it back bring it back I mean look how wild those outfits were yeah imagine you rolled up to the club in those which knockers yo dude we did it we walked around Boston like that that was a [ __ ] the fact should be doing the pyramid I was like this kid's gonna get killed yeah yeah dude you can't touch it especially being a white man yeah everything were they beautiful now we went to the backside and what I realized about Egypt is everything is negotiable and there's really not that much security or anything like we went to the [ __ ] temple the Jewish temple where Moses would discover like a block away in the Nile okay like the what the beginning of the Jewish like the comic strips were Eddie Murphy star and we're back I'll be there this month probably no but yeah so we went there there's one guy doing security outside of it we went to the church where allegedly the Holy Family this is Mary Joseph and baby Jesus stayed you know when they like ran through the Middle East cuz they were running away from you know persecution or whatever the [ __ ] was going on and they stayed there and the well that they drank out of the stones that they walked on we're in this place one security guard yeah I believe it was there true though is that mark cuz I didn't know they were down there yeah they were there Jesus down there you're Mexican you know the answers to look you can go to like the trail of of Jesus or whatever it is and he like passes through every place but again of course you would pass through there if you want [ __ ] to come there and buy [ __ ] yeah I think it's marking cuz I could go anywhere Russia there but yeah Jesus was he ate a sandwich over here it's also depends because I want something on that to where it's like he did walk through it walk through that but it just depends what Jesus cuz there was about 20 people at that time and that hundred year span claiming they're the Messiah so it's just which one are you talking about well there's only one the church picked one to make them famous but the stories are blend of a bunch of different so who is that Constantinople is that Constantinople was that 325 AD Christianity was decided contain Oh Constantine Emperor Constantine in Constantinople the Council of Nicaea yeah it's nice it's a real Roman it was decided it's a Roman invention that was based on a lot of talking of Egypt Egyptian traditions the Sun God yes oh it was basically like what story is gonna sell us the most tickets that's what it was right which one sells Jesus the best it was the Tim Dylan million dollar episode of the history of the history it's marketing baby it's marketing marketing it's what it is so Jesus looks like Chris D'Elia absolutely no can make that a clip attack yeah so so there's a I'm glad I'm here because you guys know the answer we're glad you're here we also are the Wikipedia [ __ ] so don't be so but we needed somebody to come here and put Mike in his [ __ ] place we needed - yeah we're getting too comfortable of it yeah ed you just [ __ ] yelled it like I love you but you need a little slap yeah there's my question and I am truly I'm curious about this cuz I'm knitting here into it what was every Empire has like a technological advance Vantage right on the people around it right like even at you could say the American Empire right now I mean obviously there was a commerce thing and you know we maybe took power after World War Two and Europe was completely depleted etc but now we have technological superiority right take out your [ __ ] number to general with a drone with a drone you don't have no clue that it's gonna happen boom so the Roman Empire which stretches throughout the civilized world at one point yeah what was there techno logical advantage how are they able to do that steel wait which country the wrong Empire Oh steel can you explain that steel it was uh swords just that good valerian steel so nobody else had nobody else had no no well they they had the iron horse you know and that's why they were going up north okay to get those iron horse and make that steel and that's yeah when you had back then it was the blades it was just getting those good but that's a short one but then we did research on this and a lot of people think it was truly their mind their mind was more like they were able to able to like push forward ideas more because they were the ones doing like all the conquering and learning all the most they were the ones that were like exploring the most and getting a base and historians say historians say that Rome conquered Greece yes but Greek ideas conquer Rome right yeah Greek ideas I mean you see this happen throughout history where these ideas permeate cultures even that were conquered like the French this happened like we're we're established based on French ideas sure yeah most of us right now and okay but so back to this so they had steel but they also had ideas and they had probably had the right reward system yeah yeah we were looking at that like my buddy Ben oh yeah he's the guy who designed the studio he built a lot yeah we man yeah we was such a [ __ ] smart guy really why you're a busy kid what would people start forgetting like my bags no no no I'm just meat you're busy yeah I know what it is but uh but uh I'm coming here like you're ganas and Chris right yeah cool so he said is this great thing he's like Nigeria should have the best basketball team yeah right but they don't because the reward system is not built in Nigeria for basketball built and Houston for the Rockets because Hakeem Olajuwon was the best center of all time yeah and he was an anomaly yet there should be a bunch of Hakeem Olajuwon Zaatari thing right so what cause I was asking was like why do certain cultures or why are they superior why do they exceed in certain things and he goes it's you need both you know abundance affluence good genetic material but also the reward system sure what is the reward system and maybe the reward system it maybe wasn't their IQ but maybe the reward system in Rome was hey keep increasing technology yeah you do that we love you as a society keep getting better at war steel look at look at England very very tiny island they were able to take almost over the entire world they said that the British Empire the Sun never sets on the British Empire they were the first group of people to start to give their soldiers land if they came back and won the war you got lamb incentive incentive and then they abolish slavery because they were like this isn't good marketing they that's pretty much what it was like we don't want that who's the best of terrorism middle eastern Middle Eastern what are they what is their incentive them virgins separate two [ __ ] birds you tell me you're not gonna blow up it blow up a Jewish cafe for 72 tight you know what there was a soul you know what's interesting about it there was a soldier it's a joke Oh character was a soldier sold out my show last weekend and he had half his arm blown off he was a wounded warrior who's there everyone to work this guy we've talked him fascinating he you know was talking about the Iran stuff but then he was saying in the Middle East he said number one he said the first thing that they do when the soldiers go there he said they sat us down and they told us what was real and what's not real I said what the media is telling you and what the American public thinks and then what the actual truth is he said it's not as dangerous he said you could go to downtown Kabul right now and nothing would happen to you right right he said that's the truth he said also he said if the Middle Eastern forces the ISIS which as he said is just a made-up thing he said Isis anybody who says I'm I'm making an attack for Isis does not realize this they are killing people but it's just copycat because Isis is just a thing that government ideology it's not real the real people aren't the general of Iran that was killed and all that said but anybody's like I foods for it's not real it is just a thing people copycat in the internet you know it's a problem and whatever but he was saying that the the whole virgin thing and all that he said the number one thing the scariest thing for a normal fighter fighting in the Middle East for Afghanistan is to be killed by a woman because if they're killed by a woman then in their belief they cannot they are not gonna get the virgins so what the United States United that's what he said that's wait we live in a wild wild horde so he said he said a lot of people don't know something up lay there was that's what he said he said there was a sign he said he said you and he said those on the front line he said not at all not in all cases he said but the the female soldier is such a huge heart and he said by the way this is him talk this is a soldier who fought there was who was all they're competent wasn't drunk was just talking he said the stranglehold on the Middle East is you she said you you know they play pretend for politics that we that we're losing the war he said it's none of that's true he said we said I mean he's a soldier he was like we have our foot squarely on their next I said we've had it there two months after we invaded them it was just there but he said it's it's interesting what like the public knows he said because really like yet if you just send women in there they start put their guns down and start running it's crazy craziest thing you've ever seen the video you'll see on CNN won't be that he said but when you get there that's what happens right be there to sell the story you need to sell a war I think there was a great I think one of the most dog there was a movie I forget exactly what was out of favor no that was a war wreck-it ralph in maybe cry microprocessor great [ __ ] I watched it shot my daughter all the time on TV watching when she falls asleep it's amazing you gotta finish it I'd see Riley's awesome it's our Silverman I mean who do you think I jerk off to oh [Laughter] [Music] oh yeah what I thought was so amazing about World War two is how the American people were convinced to go to war against themselves their uncle's their aren't their grandparents I mean America is by and large German and Italian sure yeah how the [ __ ] right do you convince all these herb and also who are the working class that are gonna go into the army right how are you gonna convince the working class we're not talking about the rich English elites that are in New England and I'm gonna do it right there aren't gonna be in the war how do you convince these Italians and these Germans to go blow up their cousins and grandparents yeah because well Pearl Harbor with the interesting about Pearl Harbor was is the majority first of all was a big mistake big mistake big miscalculation by Pearl Harbor knees made a baby snake the huge yeah big mistake huge yeah yes sorry Japan your whole country became a hot pocket Jim kept saying hot pocket it's a joke w5 you had that right there the boys and we said time for breakfast out of 40 horrible things happen but they did attack us for these in fact it's personal but but but what just I'm just kidding but piggybacking off what you said yeah that throughout much fun you know I have market it's just so much fun the marketing thing because because the United States knew that Pearl Harbor really wasn't that effective right they made it like we're going to war now they destroyed our Pacific Fleet them for big Pacific carriers we're out the middle they were in the middle of the sea yeah all the ships besides one we're back in action within three months after December 7th they were all back so so so um it what on December 6 is it December 6 or 7th Pearl Harbor Wow so I know I'm just having a break Wow will they have to cackle that out because are you American or no no because I got to go and I'm just getting nervous you don't know what day the boys kind of hooking up yeah well you know it's yeah that's bad I know I know that's bad well it's yeah I just I can't be late to pick up my daughter I mean her mother is at that order Ted it's bad enough yeah so so um but what they did was is they told the American public in his same effort to galvanize people to join the wars which they did join the war in droves was that they sunk our ships we need your help when really they didn't need anybody's help right I mean really like cuz the ships weren't destroyed that the the truth is the active US Navy but without any enlistments use the active US Navy some people believe could've at least stopped Japan from advancing in the East who maybe couldn't have won the war but that's what they say but the active US Navy was big enough at the time so what happens is you had the United States had the number one in industry they were the biggest industrial force in the world Billy the 18th biggest army only 18 so wasn't like we were the superpower just yet he becomes a power after world war two we the industry we had the money so that was the problem and then soldiers going to Germany was just because they Axis powers were all interlocked so Hitler had to declare war on the US if Japan did it Hitler has to do it so really a smaller percentage of the army went to Europe more went to Japan right yeah I cuz that's who's the real fight was with we we we would I get why Japan did it - I get why Japan had to do what they had to do right it wasn't out of nowhere right they were getting taxed they were good japan united states said that they treated him like [ __ ] in World War one conference they treated Japanese like [ __ ] like third classes and then they started they stopped sending them oil because Japan kept trying to expand and take over China so all the oil you know when you're a [ __ ] war machine you need oil that's another one thing and all the oil was come from the u.s. to you I said no we're not giving it to you anymore stop do what you do and China said [ __ ] you you treat us like second-class citizens [ __ ] you we're not giving you the oil then boom they bomb it and then there's no real bad and then and then it became a bento box yeah I was in Japan Wei Zhong interesting thing about the japanese people japanese people are like insanely prideful helya and vicious vicious as vicious as the [ __ ] Nazis vicious vicious they were this [ __ ] Rape of Nanking a vicious and then Kanan Jane whatever but it's like that is intense now interesting thing about the Japanese people they truly believe that they are the chosen people their version like if you are Korean and you live in Japan for generations yeah you're Korean you can't just become Japanese you're like the Jews in that way yeah now now here's the thing apparently after they lost the war the Japanese Emperor spoke in this old Japanese dialect yeah Yokozuna and he basically said Japan did not lose the war the generals lost the war we yeah are the chosen people and we will always yours I will always win this out together and no [ __ ] within what is it 40 years of that [ __ ] war they turned their hot pocket into one of the most powerful absolutely factors helped us it was Marshall Plan but think about what think about what gave him based and pragmatic Japanese people have to be that after we drop to nuclear [ __ ] bombs when them they go okay I guess we should side with those guys this makes more sense for us in the mother being rational they are so rational after the [ __ ] nuclear like America wheat we are not if you agree us we're still upset at the English sure yeah [ __ ] the French it's like the France and their hold army use a good point they helped us a lot and then we got their back so there's no anti-american sentiment Japan [ __ ] breakdancing they love it because they've ran out of things to do as a culture right it's just so old they've done it all I've done it all they've done all the Japanese [ __ ] so now but they're like I don't know how to describe them but they need their fidgety people they need to be doing something all the time and they choose how to perfect she said fidgety hate you people yeah they're there so it like there's no more Japanese culture yeah Japanese clean shock yeah I have their geishas and [ __ ] they dress them up it's kind of goofy it's like Disney World in that regard now it's like a lot of it they take black culture they take steak the best steak I ever had Japan yeah the best pizza I ever had you're right that's the wild I saw a post that that's God shots whiskey yeah but that's they don't know what to do they're done living it's like they may be Russian Aryan so long they figured out how to live to 100 years old easy they were living to 100 when we were living a 60 yeah I mean so it's like now what they'll do is they just perfect whatever the [ __ ] it is just to keep themselves busy yeah so it is just an amazing it's young it's just what I heard any culture I had a Japanese roommate in college for like the first semester and we got into a deep talk about it they did look at themselves because they be sit on the floor huh dude he stood on the floor yeah hit alongside the floor I took his shoes off and all yeah and they have no nobody here no fields nothing yeah so but they did view them because they had that kind of that warrior culture I got a little out of control yeah they did horrible horrible things throughout the region but they were bad news really bad in lust because they had that kind of we're the superior like warrior people kind of mentality when America beat them they were like the they're the superior ones they're like wolves say they can't yes they Wolfpack you know well the Alpha came yeah yes they're going like we're disappears and then [ __ ] you know sergeant registration came and say yeah whatever whatever give me the [ __ ] bento box his baseball you guys just superior whatever the [ __ ] it they play with you animate cards I'm going back to get a [ __ ] slice of pizza knows cuz everybody knows what the best [ __ ] food is but good sushi great you can open up a couple [ __ ] restaurants in New York fine yeah whatever number ones lose on you kid yeah whatever you want to think I seen you [ __ ] porn y'all got little horns whatever it is yeah the kid called me out she's eating hot dogs hot dogs that's what he's thought he's competing and that's what is he got one [ __ ] baseball player his name is Ichiro he's got one name like a [ __ ] black brown and getting his career on the egg yeah a lot of four fourteen calling Junior I gotta go alright I got it I got to go if you guys want to stand I have to go well I have no choice this was so fun we click we got to make those dinners like regular those are so fun those are great great because really good ideas come out of it and make no mistake if the kid all teacher buys it we're all split into four ways I want you know we want to put money back in the Schultz to do will pay money for you to prizefight Mike I mean everyone [ __ ] knows will calculate right yeah we're back congratulations to Andrew Schultz forgetting special and it sold out already the new studio the new studio Williamsburg have you guys out there we're probably moving the whole operation after the debacle we had today yeah why not we're what's coming up dates wise we go to the airshows calm check it out man when is this coming out this will be out two weeks we alright so wow you guys February date got a bunch of shows coming up you know just these are all these shows preparing for the special so it's exciting and just go to youtube if you you don't know my stuff just go check it out if you liked it subscribe if not that's cool too I'll flavor to job really nice but I love you guys I love what you guys are doing man and I you gotta run but I just I just I'm so happy to see you guys succeed him and it's really been cool to watch I'll be back you come on Christy comedy calm for all my dates I got a January 24th Hamden Connecticut January 25th celebrity theater Atlantic City New Jersey and February 8th Kennedy Center Washington DC Christi comedy calm Yanis Pappas comedy calm come out to Gotham see me and Mike New York City February 21st and 2nd and then coming uncle Vinny's on the 27th 28th the same month so if you're in New Jersey get those tickets if you New York City get those Gotham ticket history hyenas calm for all our stuff patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys if you want to join the matriarchy Mike few suarez on Instagram [Music]

Channel: History Hyenas

Views: 163,715

Rating: 4.8670831 out of 5

Keywords: Chris Distefano, chris Distefano comedy, Yannis Pappas, Chris Distefano Podcast, History Hyenas, Mike Suarez, YKWD, bayridge boys, fighter and the kid, theo von, this past weekend, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, tom segura, shane gillis, ladder 14, andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, podcast, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, history, brilliant idiots, charlamagne tha god, flagrant 2, tiger belly, andrew schulz podcast

Id: PFYLquQRrIw

Length: 79min 29sec (4769 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 24 2020