Conquering The Planet as a Duck Hitman in Spore

I am the leader of a crime syndicate don't question why I'm announcing this publicly on YouTube just just trust me that's right this whole time I have been a Mafia Boss but right now I have a problem I am a little short staffed and I find myself needing a new Hitman my previous Hitman was defeated by a bunch of humanoid pairs this time I need someone with Ingenuity a bounty hunter with a real passion for the killer someone who has unbelievable amounts of stealth and to find this Hitman what better place to turn to than the classic video game Hitman world of assassination no I'm just kidding the 2008 life simulation game Spore by utilizing the scientific potential of sport creature Creator I should be able to sift through an infinite amount of options to eventually land on the perfect specimen for example how about this ostrich no Too Tall his head would poke out when he was trying to hide behind things in that case what about this shrimp no this one is too small perhaps I could use this pickle or no too pickled it seems this would be harder than I first thought but just as I was about to give up I stumbled upon the perfect candidate a duck this was genius what better creature to make a sneaky assassin out of than an animal that's name literally means to dodge out of the way of things my ducks were going to duck and weave their way to the very top of the bounty hunting world making me and my crime syndicate stacks of money whilst also taking out all of our competition without further Ado then I found myself a planet and my troop of ducks raced into action oh no wait one of them is a bit stuck come on little duck come on you can do it come on there we go okay right uh where was I right men welcome to Hitman training school by the end of this I will have turned each one of you into a bloodthirsty psychopath but right now you are pretty cute to be fair you are pretty cute step forward candidate number one I shall Christen you Dimitri and you will be the most adorable mass murderer in the whole world having chosen my test subject it was time to find Dimitri his very first Target hit men don't usually go around searching for people to kill that's more sort of a serial killer thing but Dimitri had to start somewhere and before long he came across a nest of snails go on then Dimitri take them out but not really knowing anything about assassination Dimitri walked right up to the snails in broad daylight and began to pick one with his beak unsurprisingly this was not very effective there was no element of surprise no secrecy and Dimitri was swiftly defeated so not the best of starts in his first mission my duck had been beaten up by a garden snail and I may have made a terrible mistake Dimitri was obviously not very strong so it was clear that if he was going to be even remotely successful as a Hitman he would need some way to sneak up on his opponents and take them out before they even realized he was there in pursuit of this I fitted him out with a very important accessory a piece of grass although it might look stupid in Spore this blade of grass contains the ability of sneak don't ask me how it works but fashioning the grass into a sort of tale Dimitri could now just disappear on command perfect those snails quite literally wouldn't know what had hit them and Dimitri headed back over to resume his mission this time he was able to sneak around the back undetected and waiting patiently for the opportune moment all of a sudden he struck he sprung into the air performing some sort of Death from Above type maneuver and hitting the snail with a series of devastating blows in mere moments the target had been terminated Dimitri now had one confirmed kill this was great progress really great progress Dimitri and I was eager to test out his new abilities on other more challenging targets first Dimitri infiltrated a nest of a bunch of shrimps then taking them out one by one and afterwards treating himself to a little snack then Dimitri set about doing the same to a bunch of snakes and by the time he returned home from his training the rest of the Ducks had been training as well and a proper bounty hunting Association had been formed Dimitri took a blood pact and signed a bunch of contracts through the medium of dance of course he didn't bother to read any of the terms and conditions but you were sure it would be fine and with that he was given his very first official Hitman job Dimitri was to go and meet the client an incredibly wealthy hedgehog from next door according to the Hedgehog a bunch of bananas had moved into the neighborhood and were interfering with his business of harvesting body parts oh Jesus should we really be helping this guy Dimitri but the money was too good to turn down and Dimitri soon arrived at the bananas base he wasted no time going into sneak mode and he began to make his approach but before he could get too close oh God no he'd been spotted the bananas descended upon him in an instant and it was only thanks to his train training in Speed and Agility that he narrowly escaped with his life it seems the bananas were more astute than any creature he come across before and so to even get close to them he was going to have to upgrade his sneak ability but how you might be wondering can you get any stealthier than a piece of grass one word leaf now that Dimitri was wearing a leaf on his head he was practically Unstoppable his camouflage was so good that Upon returning to the Banana's base they had no idea where he was this allowed him and his bounty hunting associate to charge in catch the bananas by surprise and viciously Peck them all to death one after another looks like these bananas aren't so ripe anymore said Dimitri it sounded cooler in his head he was working on his post kill one-liners with their mission a major success they returned to their hedgehogs who gave them a really good review on the Hitman review app rip advisor and all of a sudden business for the duck bounty hunting Association was booming so much so that Dimitri came straight out of one job and into the next his clients this time were a group of poachers Dimitri wasn't too sure whether he should be working with poachers as he was a duck an animal which gets poached all the time unfortunately if he refused they threatened to feed him to a giant poacher so he didn't really have much Choice thankfully that Target this time was a group of micro pigs this should be easy then I mean pigs are well known for being stupid in his overconfidence though Dimitri got too close and he was immediately spotted he went to make a retreat but as if things couldn't get any worse the giant poacher was right behind him he was then picked up by the huge creature tossed through the air and then Chase all the way back to bounty hunting HQ goodness me that was terrifying this was a mission he could not afford to fail because of this Dimitri decided to upgrade his sneak ability Again by getting himself a twig now he wasn't just disguising himself as a leaf but as a whole tree branch it was genius anyone who saw him would just think he was a stick and this proved to be true as when he returned to the micro Pig's Nest they paid no attention to him and he was able to tiptoe around undetected then when the timing was right he and the other Ducks charged in as they always did and took out their targets with swift efficiency with the micro pigs defeated the poetry were overjoyed and they were so impressed with Dimitri's excellent work that they upgraded his sneak ability even further by removing his twig and adorning him with a beautiful flowery hat this would have been payment enough but the poachers were Keen to buy Dimitri's Services again it seems they had a lot of enemies that they needed to get rid of this time Dimitri's job was more specific he was to search for an Intergalactic traveler by the name of fruitius Maximus apparently frutius was a pair a race of sentient fruit known for being incredibly tough with this in mind the poacher's gifted Dimitri his very own sniper rifle that's right he had a gun now I don't think I can stress this enough he was now a duck with a gun Dimitri fought it wise to test out his new weapon before embarking on this Dangerous Mission so he found himself a nice Vantage Point overlooking a nest of mushrooms and with that he began to let loose oh my God this thing was ridiculous it was just one shot one kill Dimitri was a little overpowered now to say the least and he was such a well-trained assassin at this point that he was hitting every shot with a hundred percent accuracy not to mention the fact he didn't even have arms after enough target practice Dimitri decided it was time for the real deal he darted his way through the trees until he spotted frutius maximus's encampment up ahead using the full extent of the new flower on top of his head Dimitri did what he always did and disappeared Into Thin Air he snuck his way through until he was so close he could smell the fruity scent of pears all around him he loaded his gun and prepared to shoot arguably Dimitri didn't need to get this close because he was using a sniper rifle but in the end it didn't really matter anyway because as he stared deep into fruitious maximus's beautiful pear eyes he was suddenly struck by a deep sense of humanity what was Dimitri doing was he really a stone cold killer these pairs had done nothing to him so why was he going along with all of this he was a founding member of the duck bounty hunters Association sure but as he stood there and thought about the things he had done up until now the things he had done with these blood-stained wings of his he felt a great sense of shame that was it he would not do it he would be a slave to the organization no more he would just leave fruitius Maximus alone run away and go live a more fulfilling life I mean what were they gonna do it's not like they would just hunt him down or anything but the organization doesn't forget and they certainly don't tolerate traitors what was that sound it was getting louder oh goodness Dimitri look behind you run Dimitri run all of a sudden he was swamped in waves and waves of duck mercenaries they flung themselves up and over him encircling him in a huge crowd and no Dimitri oh God this is horrible my child my poor sweet sweet boy [Music] thank you

Channel: BogBoy

Views: 163,132

Keywords: bog, boy, bogboy, jude, wedgwood

Id: rQzwG5HpfQ4

Length: 10min 40sec (640 seconds)

Published: Sat May 13 2023