Choose a superpower, but the first person to reply chooses a side effect (R/AskReddit)

you can choose a superpower but the first person to reply can choose a side-effect what superpower do you choose remember to like and subscribe for more content the ability to stop time for one hour each day it stops you as well I already have this power but of course nobody can tell creating black holes that sucks everything into it you'll build for everything that goes missing I don't have enough money just suck the bills into the black hole I can possess people only if you give them money isn't this how politics works being able to run or fly up to the speed of light but once you start you can't stop body swap you have an extremely painful form of genital herpes that follows you from body to body and flares up every time you swap bodies what the [ __ ] idk what you did to that guy in your previous lives but down having a 12-inch pianist the pianist is a dick beautifully played talk to fish but the fish talk back and they are verbally abusive and somehow they know all of the [ __ ] you're most sensitive about mosquitoes aren't [ __ ] biting me all the time mosquitoes don't bite you anymore but only because they are repelled by your body odor I would accept this being able to turn invisible any sound you make is ten times louder while you're invisible imagine the breathing sounds my lord I'd [ __ ] my pants if we were in the same place imagine the [ __ ] sounds it's embarrassing enough [ __ ] in a public cubicle but 10 times louder goes invisible to take a [ __ ] just to sound louder and no one knows who did it the power to undo your any side effects then you don't get to choose a proper superpower wait don't worry they'll heroic aleander the fact that they gave up having a real superpower never letting it get them down creating portals to quickly get around every time you create a portal that comes out of it that you have to suck before using it probably better than fighting traffic in the mornings you're not wrong it's always the same deck so you have to start experimenting and getting creative or else they won't be satisfied create the food that I want to eat whenever I want however the food items always one day past its use-by the best by date often just means when it tastes best so it would still be edible control of the elements you can only control them while naked and jumping this would be very inconvenient during battle intimidating gotta racks a dominance in some way especially if it's that guy with the 12-inch pianist telekinesis only four items over four thousand pounds so I can lift your mother when I last carried her she only weighed about 10 pounds then we scattered her teleportation but you cannot control at what altitude you appear so I could end up underground if it's just upwardly vertical then I'd carry a parachute everywhere works until you reappear at the reverse Goldilocks zone high enough to injure or die too low for the chute to slow you enough being able to manipulate atoms coherently and at will but only one at a time yo I'm about to send thousands of corene atoms down your throat one at a time [ __ ] edit bow to maked quintillions of chlorine bro a sem H was trina-- be nice being immortal but if a super intelligent snail touches you you die I know this is from somewhere that I can't remember where I can cure any disease at will but only if you touch the person you become famous for it and every waking moment is demanded by people begging your aid every moment of your life not trying to use it on as many people as you can get to is an avoidable death is on your head and many people in the medical community give up and send the hard cases your way rather than pushing medicine ahead when you die eventually a volt age you've either lived a life of altruistic slavery and setback medicine for nearly a century or turned your back the sick and dying to prioritize yourself you monster either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain time stops when I sleep you can only sleep after a bottle of hard spirits I have this side-effect but no superpower to go along with it SuperSpeed reaction times you simply perceive everything slower than a normal person so you have to experience life in slow motion good lord imagine having to be at work in slow motion ugh you have to wait for every web page to load I just download every TV show ever and watch them at five times speed actually a genius plan until you realize they were download in slow motion to life would be so boring just gotta have something downloading at all times go run around the planet a few times or something I have the ability to fly edit so I can fly but I get sick every time can only do it at an inch off the ground slower than the average human walks somehow can't land safely and must have by death or regulations like AI McLean still get to fly so I'm okay with it to steal other people's powers but it'll only be half as good and one at a time this is basically Kakashi the copycat ninja from Naruto the ability to reply to my own comment okay but you have Mind Control this is good I approve of course you do it's what I told you to think being able to find the clitoris but only your mother's banjo music intensifies flying every time you fire you have explosive diarrhea well [ __ ] yeah like a bird to be able to reach into your pocket and always have the right money to pay for something you never have pockets well he said your pocket not his pocket catch me if you can [ __ ] depending on the situation a background music like in movies plays that only I can hear it's always played by bagpipes I see this as an absolute class you have found drowning dog oh you can only save dog oh by subscribing and liking the video [Music]

Channel: Reddit Life

Views: 1,707,106

Rating: 4.8921051 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, text to speech, r/, toadfilms, cowbelly, updoot, stories, funny stories, funny, lol

Id: bnFxf4Dws9Q

Length: 6min 45sec (405 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 23 2019