Characteristics of an Ideal Wife || Ustadh Muhammad Tim Humble || AMAU

what a polo field an Imagi a teehee well karim allah jalla jalaluhu well mustafa hardy well and hamdu lillahi rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa salaam are empty level sulie nabina muhammad wa ala aalihi wa sahbihi ajma'in assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh we begin with the praise of allah by asking allah to exalt to mention grant peace a messenger muhammad sallallahu wasallam his family and his companions this is another installment in the course on the Muslim family the short course on the Muslim family brought to you by and madrasah Allah Maria we've spoken about the characteristics of the ideal husband and we took out some time to talk about Heidi the forms are because of the benefits we can take from it in the way the Prophet sallallahu wasallam behave towards his family and also in the way that the women complained or mentioned good about their husbands and what we can take from that and learn from that so now we come on to the ideal wife now when we talk about the ideal wife it's really important to say that there is something in this for everybody so if a sister is unmarried it gives her some goals to aspire towards how she should be when she gets married if a brother is unmarried it gives him an idea of the kind of person you should be looking for again we're not talking about perfection perfection is with allah subhanaw taala and with whoever eliza gel gives perfection to like the ambien and also the messengers and the prophets are a hymn salat wa sallam but we're talking about what we should what should i if I'm looking to get married what kind of person am I looking for and said to do a car it will do the right thing and go come as near to it as you can as for the woman who is married it's not a case of saying well I'm married now I can't change trying to improve trying to correct ourselves trying to improve the way that we are in our character and likewise for the men who are married again it can give you an idea of what's important and what isn't because sometimes as we said if a man is to take his wife to account for every small thing then this will lead to a breakdown in the marriage so he also needs to know what's important and so in Charlotte there's something in this video for everyone pays me like to Allah regardless whether they are male or female regardless of whether they are married or unmarried but we are talking about what should the characteristics P of the ideal wife we're gonna start with a hadith in Bukhari and Muslim which is the idea of a B Herrera radiyaallahu ta'ala anhu or da i Nina be sallallaahu Hollywood cinema and now called tone tomorrow a to the Arbour he marry her where he has to be her with each I marry her well edenia fell for p30 Dean teri beti doc I before Allah brother Allah and reported the hadith in Bukhari and Muslim from the prophet sallallaahu re wa sallam that he said a woman is married for one of four things either for her wealth offer for her reputation stroke family or for her for her beauty or for her religion so be successful by choosing the one for religion the one of religion the woman of religion teri beti addict so let's just take this hadith and break it down step by step and Heidi and word by word a woman is married for one of four things these four things generally summarize four qualities that are reasons why people marry all reasons why a man would marry a woman some of them apply the other way around but generally speaking these are reasons why men would marry a woman the first one the Prophet SAW seldom mentioned is li marry her because she has money and that could be for a number of reasons either it could be that he thinks that she'll be less of a burden because she has her own money or he thinks that he can convince her to give him because of course he's obliged to spend on her but he thinks he can convince her to give him money to pay off his debt or that he can use her money for something for an investment for a business or whatever so he's interested in her for her money being interested in someone for their money is that a lasting basis for a marriage is that something that's gonna make this marriage last it's not gonna make the marriage last because ultimately money comes and goes she might be rich today she might be poor tomorrow if she has money but she doesn't have religion then what's the danger there she has money but not religion she might spend that money on Haram and she might become a burden for her husband in that regard the second reason for her reputation or her family al hasip could refer to either could refer to her reputation in herself that she is that almansa she's a person a woman of position and status this is a reason why people marry for position and status so he wants to marry her because she has a position and a status but what's the problem with that the problem is that that position and status if it doesn't come with religion what's the what's gonna be the problem that she might misuse it that she might look down on a husband she might say oh you know who are you even to tell me what to do or to even ask me to do something when I'm from this family and I'm from this background and I'm from this position and you're just a low person with a low background a low you know like you don't have a good reputation or whatever it might be the she misuses in terms of she's a fitnah outside you know she's a danger in terms of other men because she's a person of status and beauty but she's not a person of religion and it might be if it's relating to the family that not every I mean you're not marrying the family you're not marrying the family you're marrying the woman not the family so it might be that she comes from a noble family and her ancestors did great things and her you know father did great things and grandfather did great things and mother did great things and but ultimately that doesn't mean that she will really be like that Lee jamali have for her beauty what's wrong with beauty didn't the prophet sallallaahu alias LM saying your authentic hadith Anna Volta alaihe have you looked at her any are you content with how she looks nothing wrong with beauty but beauty without religion again could be a fitna it could be a trial for the people that she's not keeping herself to herself she's very beautiful and she doesn't have religion so she's causing that discord to happen in her family and for her husband because she's very beautiful but she doesn't have that religion to go with that beauty and the fourth reason that a person might marry a woman is he married that woman for her religion and that's the one the prophets lie Selim advised so from this we talking about characteristics of the ideal wife in all honesty the only one that matters is religion to start with in this hadith the only one that matters is religion she can't really control whether she's beautiful or not and beauty comes and goes right like in the sense that she might be beautiful when he first marries her and after a while you know he gets bored maybe she gets older after she's had kids maybe it's the same beauty that what is not there that was there when she was younger and he was younger and the same can be said for hymns nothing different about him he could be exactly the same but here beauty isn't something that we say is in the control of the woman that she should you know she should be beautiful the ideal wife should be beautiful the ideal wife should make the best effort she can in how she looks for a husband there's no doubt about that she should make the best effort she can to look nice for her husband but it doesn't mean that she and herself being beautiful or not it's not what matters her reputation if she's got reputation and Dean she's got status and Dean she's got a great family and Dean alhamdulillah and religion a hamdulillah that's excellent but what matters is the religion and that's the one that she can control the wealth comes and goes she has her own wealth and she doesn't need much from a husband to support her at hamdulillah that's great why not but ultimately it's not what matters so in this hadith what really matters in terms of the description of the ideal wife is that she is that a Dean she's a person of religion and we said a Dean refers to how she worships Allah Azza WA JAL her Avada with allah soprano tara her relationship with allah her taqwa her fear of allah azzawajal all of that comes under a Dean and more and reality that's what really matters the other things are a bonus she's beautiful hamdullah she's got a good family reputation or she's from a high-status background hamdulillah if she's got wealth why not hamdullah but ultimately it's not what matters it's not what's important what's important is her religion and how many people married someone because she was beautiful because she was alluring because she had a big you know reputation she was well-known because she was wealthy and ended up you know how Sarah Geronimo bina lost everything because she wasn't a person of religion and not being a person of religion doesn't necessarily mean I mean she might not necessarily commit zina for example but not being a person of religion she just brought hardship and loss and problems to that individual because she had al-mal el recip al German she was beautiful she had great reputation family background she was wealthy but she didn't have the Deen you can have the Dean without any of those three but you can't have all of those three without the Dean that's what's really important so he said the first thing from the ideal wife is a Dean and that's the same for the ideal husband because we said the hadith either haataja alaikum mantle gonna Dina who were who Luca who thank you if a man comes to you seeking the daughter's hand in marriage and you're pleased with his Deen his religion and his character marry her to him so both of these shed for the husband and the wife that what matters first of all is their religion that's what lusts that's what's gonna last that's what's gonna last it you grow all together and you know you're both you know all the people what's gonna last is the Deen Jamal is not gonna last the beauty is not gonna last add it and usually you know the family background it's not really worth anything wealth comes and goes but what lasts is the religion and that's what really matters so that's what we we think is very important as it relates to Gemma beauty we said that she should make from the characteristics of an ideal wife she should make the best of what she has she should make the best of what she has she can't control how beautiful she is but she can make the best of what she has and this is something which is actually a real benefit and a real point which you can you can highlight is that if she makes an effort with what she has what lie will be enough it will be enough but what happens is one of two things either from the guy side his expectations are so high and this is one of the evils of all of the pictures of women that are everywhere all of these photoshopped pictures of women that are not real women they're not real these pictures of models and you know all these pictures that you get you get you you subhanAllah if you cover your eyes you still see them yet they're everywhere on the roads the billboards the shopping malls on your computer when you open their browsers and all that stuff all these pictures of photoshopped women that aren't real and it sets a a wrong expectation in the mind of that man he expects that women actually look like that women look like that after you import the picture into Photoshop and you know spend half an hour making a look completely different to how she really looks it's completely unrealistic expectations that's one issue the other issue is if the woman isn't making an effort from her site she's not making an effort to do the best of what she has like what how she looks that's how Allah made her look but at least she should make an effort to be the best that she can be for a husband and the husband should do the same for her we said this is narrated from some of the Sahaba radi allahu anhum that they were like this that they would make effort for their wife so their wife would make an effort with them and if she made that FA would be more than enough will be more than enough and will come perhaps to some hadith which will indicate more about this insha'Allah Allah as we progress through the course our next release Heimdall Abney armor radiyaallahu anhu mur and now allah salallahu alaihe salam akahl a duniya matter muhammad in dunya and Mara - Sawyer Abdullah even a mark for the ilaha and Huma said The Messenger of Allah so Allah while he was seldom said this world is a Matar something temporary you enjoy your life in it for a time and the best of the temporary provision of the world the best of the things that you have for this temporary time in the world is a righteous wife and Matos awliya now I just added this to emphasize that a beam to emphasize a woman who is that a Dean she's a person of religion I just really wanted to emphasize that look how the Prophet says I'm describe this whole dunya is temporary this whole dunya is just a provision you've been given that it's gonna run out at a specified time and the best thing you can have it's not a big house a beautiful car it's not loads of money the best thing you can have in Estonia is in Mora - Salah a righteous wife so the ideal wife she is saw Leah she's righteous she's righteous she does righteous deeds she believes in allah subhanaw taala her al Qaeda is the a leader and his son Nettie well Jemma her actions are the actions which are reported from the prophets Allah already he was sending his companions those that his companions acted upon that's what she does she's sorry she's righteous so that just adds to what we mentioned about that Adi when Anacin radi allahu al cana rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wa seldom yeah Miraval bad way in her and in tibet to Lena and Shadid we're cool Tozawa julia doodle allude in nimmakur field become will mba io Melky ana we already mentioned this hadith earlier on in the course but I wanted to focus on two aspects within this hadith I decided of honest the messenger Allah so I said mister command people to marry and used to forbid celibacy with a strong prohibition and he said marry the woman that is what dude and one would marry the woman that is whoa dude and Willard so marry the woman that is what would she's loving she's loving and she is well ood she is going to bear you many children so from the characteristics of the ideal wife is that she's very loving and caring and that means she's loving towards her husband Roger alibi nakumo at a time where i'ma we put between you love and mercy so it means that she's loving towards her husband and he also means she's loving towards her family she's going to be a loving mother a caring mother someone who she the thing that is predominant in her personality is she's loving and caring she's wild she's loving and caring as for her being were lute having many children then there is an aspect of this that there are three aspects of this if you want to take it like that from the man's side he looks for a woman who he thinks will have many children he looks for a woman who he thinks will have many children now how would he look at that there are two aspects first is her desire to have many children and that's what the woman can control she can't control the second part which is whether he thinks she will be able to do that and that could be by looking at her family does she come from a family that had many children is she you know within the family culture that she's in before marriage is it that to have children or is it that you know my career comes first and my children come second or is it that you know I might want you know one child or two whatever the profit slice ma told us to marry a woman that is what she's loving and Walloon she's gonna give you many children so she's gonna give him any children as we said there's an aspect a woman can control and an aspect she can't control the aspect she can't control is the you know genetics and so on and so forth and you know what a large decrease for her to have from children but what she can't control is her desire to have kids the culture now especially we take a lot from Western culture having very few children and that you know children are maybe very difficult and it's hard to manage and so on but as the muslim culture is to have many children the prophet's awesome said in Nima mccarthy on Picon MBI Emiliana in the narration of market yes are in soon a bit out in nemo Catherine bechamel omen I'm going to boast of your numbers before all the nations you're clear and boast of the numbers of righteous people and how the muslim nation grows to have more and more righteous people is by having lots of children having children is not an easy thing it's not an easy thing for either parent especially not easy for a mother lost panatela told us her mallet who call her an order to call her she carried the baby in a hardship and she gave birth in hardship it's not an easy thing but the woman that is the ideal wife is one that really genuinely wants to have children and wants to have a lot of children as many as she can and the rest is down to a la semana tan so even the husband when he's looking to get married or the man he's looking to get married he's obviously gonna look at do I think insha'Allah with the help of Allah she'll have a lot of children but these days the barrier is not the you know that Allah didn't you know how she wanted to have children but Allah didn't decree for to have children or that you know she has some sickness why she can't have children the barrier is in these days is the woman doesn't want to have any kids she's I don't want to have kids kids are hardship and a burden and you know like oh she just wants to have very few children so that's not the characteristic of the ideal wife she want to have as many children as is possible and feasible and whatever a lost parent I'll decrease after that it's not in her hands after that so we hope that that has at least explained that point the next characteristic that we're going to come to from the characteristics of the wife as we already mentioned churches were dude she should also be merciful and we can take this from the ayah which we've already covered in sort of room which is ayah number 21 I mean IIT he and kala kalah come in and for second as watch and eat Eskimo alaihe wa ala bina come now at the Tama Rama in a favela color.i at in the homeotic arun from the signs of our lives that he created for you from yourselves spouses here wives latests kuno alaihe watch our alibi nakumo at the Tamarama we're gonna take three things from this ayah as it relates to the characteristic of the ideal wife number one is that she should make her husband feel comfortable let s go new area she should make her husband feel comfortable make him feel at home make him feel relaxed make him feel Sakina tranquility make him feel that his heart is at peace that's how she should and she should strive to be a woman that does her her objective in terms of her marriage to make her husband feel comfortable to make him feel peaceful not to stress him out not to be a worry for him not to be a source of arguments for him for him to find Sakina with her Lita Scalia she should be a woman of Mazda which we said and were dude the loving one Elmo at that is very similar but it's a bit more than that that she loves her husband she looks out for her husband because part of more days looking out for him taking care of him being there for him she's there for a husband and she's merciful towards him sometimes he's not gonna do the right thing and especially when the husband is in Islam at the head of the household sometimes he makes decisions that are not right sometimes he decides things that aren't aren't correct but she has patience with it she forgives his mistakes she overlooks if he's not if he's a bit distant one day and he's not as caring as he should be if he forgot about something that he was supposed to give her she overlooks it so this ayah contains three really really important things that we can take first of all that she tries to make a husband feel peaceful feel happy content in his heart feel relaxed when he's with her she doesn't stress him or worry him or argue with him she is a person who loves her husband and looks out for him and takes care of him and she has mercy when he falls short in the things that she would normally expect from him she has mercy with him in that regard and she forgives him for the mistakes that he makes and this can be said also for the husband they can take it the other way and say the exact thing that the same thing about the husband that the husband should make his wife feel comfortable make her feel relaxed he should be loving towards her he should be looking out for her and he should be merciful towards her she makes a mistake should overlook it and so on all of these can be said about the husband of the wife but I just brought this in this the characteristics of the wife we had spoken about it earlier so I wanted to highlight the test-score alaihe she finds that he finds that tranquility with her and that peace with her so she tries to make him comfortable she tries to make him relaxed and she tries to make him feel that he's at peace when he's with her and she has that love and that care for him and also that mercy and forgiveness towards him as well there is a hadith and the hadith is narrated in sahih al-bukhari and it's a long hadith regarding the story of her debía i only want to read you a part of the hadith because this part of the hadith has a real benefit in it as it relates to the attributes that we would wish for in the ideal wife the narration is as follows Phelim ma lam yahkum mean whom I had - ala ala an-nisa lama for the corolla her malik liam in an ass the collet on Mosul AMA ya nabiyya allah a to him poodle iike Oh ROG similar to kill him or her damn in whom Colima had 10 her Buddha neck were dead highly Akaka fea lepak the narrator said so in the treaty of hudaibiya the Prophet SAW I am commanded the people because they were not able to make Amara he commanded the people to shave their heads and to sacrifice their animals that they had brought with them nobody did anything it's like there were froze and they just couldn't bring themselves to do it and the Prophet SAW said became worried and he came to umm Salama and he mentioned and he told him Selim and the people or not it's what the people are doing they're not they're not sacrificing I've told him to sacrifice they're not sacrificing I've told them to shave their head they're not shaving the head umm Salama she said o prophet of allah do you love or do you wish for this she said go out don't say anything to anyone then slaughter your sacrificial animal and call for the person to shave your head so I'm gonna ask you to pause the video here as we get towards the end of the class pause the video and ask yourself what is the characteristic that we take from this hadith about the ideal life so hopefully you paused the video and how to think about it the characteristic that I think here is that though the ideal wife is one who is her husband feels comfortable to consult with her and she gives good advice to her husband so look at how the Prophet sai-san was shaken because he had told his companions law to your animal Savior shows law to your animals shave your heads and they were just froze and it wasn't that they were disobeying the Prophet so I think they just were completely frozen they just had they were just so shocked they couldn't bring themselves to do it the prophets I said straight away he felt like I could go and I can go and share this with him Salama so she was open like that like he felt he could share with her and she was extremely wise she had a lot of knowledge so he asked her he asked her about it and he mentioned and she gave him such good advice she said go out don't say anything to anyone slaughter your animal and shave your head when the people see the Prophet sighs I'm slaughtering his animal shaving his head then they will understand that it's to be done it will it will break the like the way that they are frozen like that it will it'll just stop and the people will do it because it's not that they want to disobey the prophet sallallaahu I leave my cell it's just that they were so shocked by what happened and so lost that they just were like frozen like a rabbit in the headlights and so here when the Prophet sizin went out and did it the people did what the Prophet SAW asked them to do so she was there for him that's a great characters issue isn't there for him she was she felt he could share and ask her advice and she gave excellent advice when he asked for it so this is these are from the characteristics of the ideal wife in Surat Annisa Allah Azza WA JAL mentioned a group of characteristics about the ideal wife and this is in ayah number 34 allah azzawajal said for solely her to carne Turton her fever to nil ie BB Mojave Eliza has said the righteous women and we talked about righteousness earlier on Ohio matera dunya and Marat oh sorry huh the righteous wife Hani tat so she we said slyly had righteous colony tat so honey that that here is that she is submissive to Allah subhana WA Ta'ala haffi Vartan little hype and this is the one that I wanted to highlight she takes care of herself when a husband is not there she is protects herself in his absence and this is a characteristic of the ideal wife that she looks after her husband her husband's honor her husband's property her husband's reputation when he's not that happy Vartan Leonid she takes care of herself when the husband is not there she takes care of his property and he knows that when he goes she won't be doing something he wouldn't approve of she won't be going out in a way that he wouldn't approve she won't be dressing in a way that he wouldn't approve she won't be mixing with people in a way she wouldn't he wouldn't approve she won't be bringing people into the house in a way that he wouldn't approve she won't be using the house in a way that he wouldn't approve her feel Vartan little IBB Mojave table she's looking after things in her husband's absence and that's the one that I wanted to focus upon in this particular ayah in Surat Annisa also I wanted to mention a hadith and this hadith is a hadith of Abu Huraira rhodiola an ethos a little Mara a to Hamza ha was armed at Sahara ha ha ha sonnet 4 jaha well Allah Akbar Allah de Hartman AE a bubbly Jeanetta at if a woman prays a 5 daily prayers and fasts a month of Ramadan so that is part of Dean that Dean she's of religion and she takes care of her private parts I she's chaste she's chaste she takes care of her chastity and that we mentioned have a lot only like in her husband's absence what Allah Akbar Allah huh and this is the one that I wanted from this hadith that she obeys a husband so from the characteristics of the ideal wife is that she's obedient to a husband now obedience to the husband and again we talk about this later on we talk about marital disagreements and the way the family should be structured and things like that but obedience to the husband is not an absolute it's obedience to him in what is not disobedience to Allah so if he tells her to do something Haram then that's not an option at the end of the day obedience to Allah comes first and it doesn't mean that husband is better than her it doesn't mean that he's necessarily higher in the sight of Allah but Allah has organized a family like that Allah has organized the husband to be the head of the family so the woman for that to work she has to listen to what her husband says of course if he tells her to do Haram she's not gonna do it in the with the best of manners and the most kind of behavior but she's not gonna do it but if he tells her to do something halal or he tells her to do something which in the first place is something that a large I recommended or made obligatory whatever the case may be she's going to obey her husband in that if she does that what does she get she can enter from any of the eight doors of paradise which ever door that she wants which ever door that she wants she can enter paradise from any gate now I think that is a huge advantage for a woman because a man to enter each of those eight doors has to do the deeds of those eight oars for example Orion the door of fasting he has to be someone who fasts and does voluntary fasts and strict on his fasting and always does as many fast as he can then he can be from the people of Orion the one who enters the doors of fasting but as for the woman she prays her five daily prayers she fasts a Ramadan she keeps herself chaste and she looks after or a base and any door of the eight doors of Jena go in whichever one you want and that's a big blessing for a woman it's not a big request is it to pray five times a day faster month of ramadhan keep yourself chaste and obey your husband it's not a lot to ask for to be able to enter any of the doors of gender that she wishes we're gonna cover one more hadith this hadith is the Hadees of abdul IBN umar radiyaallahu anhu MA and rasool ullah sallallahu reo Salima and no heart Yashiro Nisa does a duck walk final step far for in your eye you wanna act vera anilina for quality mora 2 min home J's la 1 Elena yah Rasul Allah he act for a Helena Carl took third on a line what take Ferdinand a shield he's hiding about the libel armor from the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he said a group of women give charity and make a lot of history far so that's also two characteristics of women in general married or unmarried but particularly married that they give a lot of sadaqa and make a lot of Vista far for I saw you to be the majority of the people of the fire a woman among them said asking the Prophet sighs and what has made us the majority of the people of the fire the Prophet SAW salem said you curse frequently and you are ungrateful towards your husband so again like we looked at their men who do things wrong and we looked at the hadith or Mazar and we spoke about the men that that fall short and how we can reverse it I want to reverse this first of all the sadaqa that is still far and also the fact that we reverse the other two that she doesn't she tries not to curse she tries not to get emotional and say Allah curse this person curse this person now some women curse their own children someone who curse their own husbands some people curse their own parents well a other billah we seek refuge with Allah Azza WA JAL so she doesn't let herself like the man doesn't let himself be frequently on the table she does so frequently involve curses upon people and she's grateful for what her husband did look at the hadith rooms are in that how grateful she was for what her husband did for her even though he divorced her most women would say he divorced me and I never remember anything before that possible Allah here he divorced her but she only mentioned the good from him and this tech foreign Elijah you're ungrateful towards your husband is the example of the person who says I've lived all this time with you while Mara ae2 mink a higher uncle and I've never seen anything good from you you've never done anything good for me or you've never been there for me you've never listened to me you've never helped me you've never spent on me you've never all this would never never never this is what the ideal wife doesn't say she says look you've done good for me and maybe sometimes you fell shorter than what I would want no problem but she doesn't say you've never done any good for me I've never seen any good from you've never been good for me I wish I'd never married you and all of these statements because this can bring her to be from the people of the of the fire that's what allies were jelly made it easy for us to mention in this lesson analyze our journals best was salat wa salam ala nabina muhammad wa ala aalihi wa sahbihi hy i said i'm alaikum if you enjoying these videos and he'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're gonna be running make sure you head over to ama you at home calm

Channel: Al Madrasatu Al Umariyyah

Views: 32,704

Rating: 4.9280205 out of 5

Keywords: Islaam, Islam, Quran, Qur'an, Qur'aan, Sunnah, Muhammad, Hadith, Hadeeth, Ustadh, Abdulrahman Hassan, Ustaadh, Salafi, Salafiyyah, Sunni, Lesson, Al Kauthar, Al Maghrib, Mufti Menk, Nouman Ali Khan, Yasir Qadhi, Islamic, Islaamic, Tawheed, Shirk, Bidah, Jannah, Muhammad Tim Humble, Tim Humble, AMAU, Al Madrasatu Al Umariyyah, The Muslim Family, AMAU at Home, AMAU short course, Dawahman, Dawah man, Imran ibn mansur, Naseeha Sessions, Ideal Wife, Perfect Wife Islam, Muslim Wife, Ideal Wife Islam

Id: Pxe93DCBA1c

Length: 36min 55sec (2215 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 06 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/JakeFromStateFarm113]

Now the hard part: actually finding an ideal wife.

[u/Mega_whale]

Really good video very informative