Chandler Bing being relatable Pt.1

if I were omnipotent for a day I'd make myself up nipping it forever come on Ross you me Joey ice guys night out come on what do you say big guy huh huh huh what are you doing I have no idea oh come on Dora don't be mad I know we both said some things we didn't mean but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other you know I I feel like I've lost her remember the moonlight coming in the most incredible glow yes the moon the glow the magical feeling you did this part could I get some painkillers over here please man can you believe he's only had sex with one woman I think it's great you know it's sweet its romantic really now you kidding the guy's a freak I joke hello Oh Rachel it's the Visa card people okay take my place all right yes this is Rachel so Saturday night the big night date night Saturday night Saturday night no plans huh not a one it was horrible it called me young lady oh I hate when my father calls me that well I'm gonna get another espresso more latte I'm still working on mine [Laughter] [Music] you know I mean it's like we're different you know I'm like the boom boom boom this is the worst breakup in the history of the world I don't know a million oh oh he needed some time to grieve there's a beautiful woman at eight nine ten o'clock hello she's a mace she makes the women if I dream about with like short fat bald men sure she's not with them on oh yeah right and what would my opening line be excuse me she's a person you can do it please could she be more out of my league Roz back me up here they can never get a woman like that in a million years you know you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys you could be one of those guys oh I can't believe I'm even considering this I'm very very aware of my tongue come on come on yes hi okay next word Chandler Chandler is my name and yes yes I did but what I didn't say was what I was about to say what I wanted to say was would you like to go out with me sometime thank you good night oh so you're divorced no oh I'm sorry see you're widowed hopefully you know how in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life well every single second is like that with the roar oh great this is just oh my god I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre is it a vestibule maybe tonight oh yeah that is the part to focus on you idiot no I'm not alone I don't know some guy Oh some guy yeah hey Jill I cited some guy last night yes he was some guy oh right right right it's been 14 and a half minutes and you still have not said one word oh god do something just make contact smile no if Jill Goodacre offers you gum you take it if she offers you mangled animal carcass you take it you know what second thought gum would be perfection gum would be perfection gum would be perfection SOTA said gum would be nice good I said I'll have a stick but no no no for me gum is perfection [Music] [Music] hi I'm account number seven one four three four five seven and I don't know if you got any of that but I would really like a copy of the tape the question you're not dating anybody are you because I met somebody who would be perfect for you thought you see perfect might be a problem had you said codependent or self-destructive but Janice that was like the worst breakup in history I'm not saying it was a good idea I'm saying I should but you found me here let's take our picture smile you're on Janice camera I love babies with the wittle baby shoes little baby toes okay you're gonna have to stop that forever seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues you know that you use your humor as a way of keeping people in a distance why can't you stop staring at my breasts what what uh Joey's having an embolism but I'd go for a net you know come on I'll show you to my room that sounds so weird when it's not followed by no thanks it's late I've been thinking about you know about how I'm always seen girls on top of girls are they end-to-end or tall like pancakes go with the egg my friend they go to work no way it's suicide man's got an egg how do I look oh I don't care [Music] okay I'm making a break for it I'm going out the window I brought you something is it loaded so it's a typical day at work come in putting my numbers and Big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor so I quit can you see my nipples through this shirt but you have goals you have dreams I don't have a dream no one I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool you know I just always pictured myself doing something something well it's just I need something that's more than a job I need something I really care about and that's on top of the year in bonus structure engineer look out now I'm not playing hardball here okay this is not a negotiation this is this is a rejection minute no no no stop saying not stop saying numbers I'm telling you you've got the wrong guy you've got the wrong God I'll see you Monday hmm Oh okay send her a worst-case scenario say you never feel like a father mm-hmm say your son never feels connected to you as one say all of his relationships are affected by this do you have a point you know you think I would is cursed what oh hi Kristin some bad things will happen to he who spends it I'll take it bad things happen to me anyway that's where I can break him up with a movie I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey [Laughter] hi can I help you we're kind of having an emergency and we were looking for something a monkey yes have you seen any aren't we kind of in the middle of something here yes but these women are very hot and they need our help and they're very hot Oh Danielle I wasn't expecting the machine give me a call when you get a chance bye bye what was with the dishes oh I want her to think I might be in a restaurant you know I might have some kind of life like I've been sitting around here honing for the last two hours you don't think that makes me seem a little desperate needy pathetic uh obviously saw my personal land I'm gonna talk to her she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me now I'm needy and snubbed god I miss just being needy why don't you just call her I can't call her I left the message I have some pride do you know anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life-partner out you go let me ask you if you have to be Carol's lesbian life-partner but I can't believe one of us actually has one I know I still am one of these well the tough thing is she really wants to have sex with me crazy [ __ ]

Channel: barely living

Views: 730,941

Rating: 4.9490533 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: lm5oEs6Q7hs

Length: 12min 1sec (721 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 04 2020