Can You Speedrun Cookie Clicker without Clicking the Cookie?

hello there ladies and gentlemen i'm the spiffing brit and today we're speed running cookie clicker but in the dumbest way possible as we're trying to speedrun the true never click achievement the goal is simple how fast can you get 1 million cookies without ever clicking the cookie you know the whole core principle of this goddamn video game well using some cheesy exploits we're going to pull it off today ladies and gentlemen but you might be thinking spiff hang on a second why on earth do you even want this achievement why are we speed running this and the reason is simple you see one year and one day ago on may 15th the lovely and wonderful youtuber easy speezy decided to speedrun this achievement he managed to do it in 49 minutes and 20 seconds and today ladies and gentlemen i'm going to beat him using exploits to perfectly balance the playing field because whilst he is a professional speedrunner i am a professional exploiter so let me explain my setup and then we'll begin this nightmare now you'll notice already that my cookie clicker looks a little bit different to easy species and probably your cookie clicker for that matter that is because you are currently witnessing christmas cookie clicker that's right this is the festive variation of cookie clicker complete with one very important item you see in the true never click speed run you need to wait to get two golden cookies that are going to give you enough cookies to buy your first auto clicker from that point on you then have a passive income of cookies and don't have to rely on the golden cookies but here's the problem you need two of them and they only come once every few minutes and the odds of you getting the two golden cookies that you need are also incredibly slim so what if instead of waiting for the golden cookies we moved the date and time forward on our pc right before we loaded up the game to christmas that way we waited for reindeers now reindeers aren't golden cookies they're better because they give you well over 15 cookies just for clicking on them meaning you only need to wait for one item to fly across the screen for the speedrun to begin and just using this glorious exploit of moving the date and time forward we're hopefully going to be able to smash easy species speedrun so ladies and gentlemen i've got my clock ready it's time for us to wipe the save and get the speed run going so three two one go and the clock has begun and the game is reset and now we must quite simply wait for the reindeer to cross our screen i know an entire reindeer is all we're waiting for i suppose i can use this opportunity to rename my bakery to the greatest bakery the world has ever seen greg's yes what a glorious name we even get an achievement for that wonderful anyway we now must wait a random quantity of minutes for a reindeer to fly across the screen and then i need to click it as fast as possible the speed run entirely hinges on this one fact one minute 44 and no reindeers in sight this is absolutely devastating the entire game plan relies on one of those lovely happy jolly things to watch across my screen so that i can then rip it into pieces and use its internal cookie-based organs to start destroying the world i can see that cookie i want to press the cookie i'd only have to press it 15 times and then i could get my operation going but no no i can't possibly do that that would void the speed run instantly oh there's the reindeer click it click it click it there we go 25 cookies cursor straight away that took four minutes which is actually on the higher end of the reindeer speed run anyway now we just quite simply have to wait until we get up to 18 cookies and then we can get ourselves the second cursor we're making 0.1 cookies per second ladies and gentlemen this is record breaking speed now we do have an advantage here which is that golden cookies can also still show up and we can still click on those so that we benefit from not only the reindeer but also the golden cookie right with just one cookie away from being able to get the second cursor come on come on i'm hammering that cursor let me have it let me have it come on we're almost there almost there cookie game there we go second cursor bab naught point two cookies per second now oh we're really breaking the speed records six minutes in and we have nine cookies now the goal is not to have one million cookies saved up no it is to produce one million cookies which means the more money we can spend on cookie production the better statistically speaking we've made 44 cookies uh we are very much not close at all to our end goal but i'll take it still at the same time you can see that we have clicked zero cookies meaning we are on our way for the true never click achievement now the optimal build here is to wait and get five curses then save up for the reinforced index finger and then pick ourselves up a grandma we're pulling close to cursor number three come on ladies and gentlemen here we go cursor number three there we go 0.3 cookies per second we're really picking up speed now the slowest game of cookie clicker you've ever seen but we don't have to be the fastest we simply just have to beat easy speedy which is something i believe i can do oh there's another reindeer oh that's 25 cookies bam that's able to get us another cursor even faster lovely that's actually sped up the little speed run all the more that's fantastic oh and there's a golden cookie as well and that's a frenzy a frenzy time seven cookie production for just four minutes lovely we're gonna be able to get ourselves our fifth cursor way ahead of time this is absolutely glorious what we're going to do is we want to save up until we get to 100 so that way we can get this lovely upgrade here we don't need the festive hat at all it really doesn't do anything for us until maybe later on but the reinforced index finger this is our first major upgrade doubling the power of the curses doubling our cookie production we'll bring it up to seven seven cookies per second my goodness oh we are flying now ladies and gentlemen we are absolutely cruising along at the speed of light i will actually buy multiple curses now just to really benefit the most from this frenzy here yes this is glorious 11 cookies per second right we're going to save up for a grandma save up for that grandmother grandmothers know best premium grandmothers here we are we have our first grandmother it's gam gam ladies and gentlemen gam gam is here to slay and bake she's joined by edna edna of course another glorious grandmother and we're banned we get a third grandmother going and another cursor we're up to 10 curses now glorious will get up to 11 why not and then pick up another grandmother fantastic now we lose the frenzy but that really has catapulted us into a good position we're up to 6.2 cookies per second from this point on we basically want to achieve five grandmothers once we get up to 10 cookies per second that's when we're gonna start saving up and building our way towards the farm and the easiest way to do this is with a large contingent of grandmothers right bam we're up to grandmother number seven and as soon as we get up to grandmother number eight we're gonna start pushing for that farm and there we go glorious stuff the eighth grandmother is down we must now simply wait until we get our farm but how are we doing statistically statistically speaking we've baked 2106 cookies this is very very good indeed we can get the carpal tunnel prevention cream right now but it's actually not really worth it it would only bring up oh my goodness it's another reindeer that gives us the farm way ahead of time lovely stuff that's the boost we needed 612 extra cookies inflated into our economy now we're up to 18 cookies per second this is perfect i'm going to keep saving up until we get ourselves an additional farm and then it's going to basically be a mix of just building farms and grandmas until we're up to about 100 cookies per second here we have it ladies and gentlemen greg's is about to build its second cookie farm no one really knows scientifically how you can grow cookies from plants but life finds a way 26.2 cookies per second it is fantastic time is of course clicking on we're almost up to 15 minutes now and we can pick up our upgrade for grandma that's right we could get forwards from grandma but in reality we're going to need another farm we're aiming for about 11 grandmas and 11 farms to give us the necessary cookies per second to push for the mine and now it's worth us saving up so that we actually get the rolling pin that's right these grandmas are going to be weaponized oh and a golden cookie fantastic lovely we got the golden cookie with that we got a whole bunch of additional cookies so we're able to buy the rolling pin with that rolling pin these grandmas are now additionally effective grandmas are making a total of 22 cookies per second went up to 50 cookies per second in total and now it's just about saving up and buying farms we're making good progress these grandmas they're doing gloriously all right we're up to five farms now this is lovely oh and there's another reindeer come on there we go that's 3 000 cookies that's another free farm straight away and that's another additional fun we're just gonna be able to throw straight on out as well seven farms in total now we are making absolutely fantastical progress all right we're doing good statistically we've made 22 000 cookies we're about to cross the threshold into making 100 cookies per second and now we start waiting for the mine here we go that's just 11 000 cookies that's enough to buy a mine straight away thank you mr reindeer that's lovely 20 minutes in and we are producing 245 cookies per second this is going very well indeed the aim is about 20 grandmas 15 farms and 5 mines so we might as well buy some more grandmas why not picked up the mine this is lovely stuff another additional farm we're up to 344 cookies per second now it's exactly the kind of profits that we need oh another reindeer come on brandon that's 29 000 cookies okay that's an additional mind lovely we're up to five minds now that's 586 cookies per turn with the sixth mine in 25 minutes also on the clock this has been going very very well indeed okay i'm going to be saving up for the fertilizer now which is going to double the efficiency of our farms increasing the total cookies produced up to 400 per second for the farms which is very important for us and much more efficient than an actual factory we've so far produced 250 000 cookies so we're actually approaching the quarter mark for the actual achievement here and our efficiency is relatively decent i mean this probably isn't the most optimal way of doing this actual speed run but so far our luck has been relatively good i mean it's not quite dream level of luck i mean i could have just entered into cheat engine and given myself everything but you know it's still very decent we've also gained the ability to get farmer grandmas that's right farms are going to gain increased clicks per second per grand mars that we own meaning if we were to pick that up right now farms would be getting an extra plus 18 which is actually incredibly beneficial and there we go that's 1 000 cookies per second we've achieved the cookie monster achievement we are making very good progress up to 300 000 cookies baked of all time and now we're gonna have to basically aim for the mines i want these mines to be twice as efficient oh there's the reindeer great that's 61 000 from the reindeer that is absolutely fantastic this has put us incredibly close to sugar gas which is exactly what we need to upgrade our minds and that's also put us up to four hundred thousand we're almost halfway to our ultimate goal and now we're up to one thousand three hundred cookies per second we need more minds more minds to produce way more yes this is fantastic right there we go that's another mine down mines are now producing 94 cookies per second oh there's a golden cookie bam that's a frenzy that's a frenzy ladies and gentlemen everything is just massively being improved we can just spam out grandma's making 12 000 cookies per minute now farm's out i want farms we're up to 14 000 cookies per second this is it this is going to be what allows us to throw ourselves over the line 15 000 cookies per second oh yes that's another mine that's another farm let's get some more grandmas going another farm more curses why not farms yes glorious and there we go true never click achievement achieved in 30 minutes and 40 something seconds we did it ladies and gentlemen we have done it oh yes we have that's right ladies and gentlemen in just 30 minutes we have crushed this game absolutely smashed it our goal was to beat 49 minutes and 20 seconds and ladies and gentlemen we beat that by almost 20 minutes that is absolutely fantastic this has been the most perfectly balanced optimal way of speed running the true never click achievement make one billion cookies with no cookie clicks it completely defeats the whole purpose of the game but it's glorious and there you have it in just over 30 minutes we've smashed out the true never click speed run of cookie clicker who knew that in order to beat someone who's much better at speedruns than i all i had to do was alter the game entirely by time traveling to christmas and feasting on the corpses of tasty reindeer of course this wasn't a fully serious run and we could have easily improved our time but of course one of the most quintessential parts of being british is to see what others have done and spitefully find the most relaxed way to beat them and for me this is it anyway thank you very much for watching if you enjoyed today's video then make sure to give it a like and heck why not consider subscribing if you'd like to see more perfectly balanced video game footage and exploits as always a massive thank you to each and every one of our amazing patrons and youtube channel members you lovely sausages generously fun this channel and hey if you sat there wondering what to watch next look no further than this one on screen now hand chosen by myself to be absolutely perfect for you anyway i'll see each and every one of you in the next one have a fantastic day and good bye for now

Channel: The Spiffing Brit

Views: 2,220,361

Keywords: Spiffing, Brit, cookie clicker, coookie, clicker, speed run, speedrun, can you speedrun, can you, can you speedrun cookie clicker, cookie clicker without clicking, no click, speedrunning, speedrun world record, the spiffing brit, cookie clicker speedrun, eazyspeezy, cookie, funny, any%, wr, funny speedrun, games done quick, video game, games, challenge, Can You Speedrun Cookie Clicker without Clicking the Cookie?, spiffing brit, video game exploit, neverclick, true neverclick

Id: V3G8_lWD0aY

Length: 12min 58sec (778 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 09 2022