Skyrim has a lot of magic in it. Shouts, Alteration, Galvanization, Restoration,
Approximation, Conjuration, Destruction, Illusion, and more. Most of these are designed to be offensive,
to do direct damage to an enemy. But thereās one school of magic that is
used almost exclusively for healing and preserving life. Can You Beat Skyrim With Only Restoration
Spells? I started Skyrim, wasnāt at the 35th Annual
Tamriel Wagon Gymnastics Competition, picked an Imperial as my race because theyāre the
only race that start with 25 in Restoration, named myself something that a certain someone
in a certain mouse movie discord server refuses to say, and entered Helgen Keep. There are a few good things that happen right
off the bat. First, you always start with Healing, a Restoration
spell. That was actually the only good thing. I very briefly let a few soldiers use my body
as a sword punching bag, picked locks, ignored buckets because what kind of weird nasally
freak would collect buckets, and escaped into Skyrim from within Skyrim itself. The issue now becomesā¦ how the hell do you
deal damage to anything with a Restoration spell? In the base game, you donāt, not really. If you donāt have any of the DLCs installed
this run becomes stupid difficult. The best youād be able to do is get Restoration
up to level 90 and somehow acquire the Bane of the Undead spell which sets Undead up to
level 44 on fire and makes them flee for 30 seconds. But not everything you face is undead, in
fact, nothing you face is even alive because this is a video game. As luck would have it, there is a single Restoration
spell in Skyrim that can damage living and unliving targets alive, without having to
resort to calling them mean names. Poison Rune: an Adept level spell that does
3 points of poison damage per second for 30 seconds. If your IQ is on par with the drawing sticks
in a box of crayons, you may be thinking that it doesnāt count because itās Poison damage,
to which I say: go fuck yourself. The game calls it a Restoration spell, so
itās a Restoration spell. As I havenāt played Elmoās Number Journey
yet, the problems are seemingly infinite. The most important one in the only time zone
that matters is that it requires Restoration at 50 to be able to do that. In the last few explanatory paragraphs, Iāve
likely activated the Mage stone to make Magic skills level up quicker, discovered Bleak
Falls Barrow, and begun taking punishment from Bandits. I did that for a while but itās too slow. Like the great Billy Mays once said, thereās
gonna be a better way. And there is. Tucked away in desolation lies a location
youāve probably never heard of. Once I say the name, even the most fanatical
Skyrim fans will be asking themselves āwhat place is he talking about?ā. High Hrothgar. Thatās what us liars refer to as a joke. I couldnāt take the front door into the
temple, the old men have locked themselves away while they examine each otherās backs
for moles and count wrinkles. Getting over the temple and into the courtyard
is as simple as bending your ankles until you hear something snap and running up the
mountain with your feet that are effectively pool noodles wearing boots. Abscond from the mountain climbing adventure
and the fun can begin. The wall of cold is what weāre after as
it can be used to quickly level up Restoration. Because there are no enemies here, besides
the old men in their robes watching me from the shadows, you can take damage from the
cold, heal yourself until you run out of magic, wait for an hour to get your magic back, and
do it again indefinitely. Also I have clothing that makes magic regenerate
like 50% faster. I was here for a while, but not as long as
I originally thought I would be. My Restoration was somewhere around 27 when
I arrived and after about 30 minutes of doing what I just described, it was up to 45. Iād taken the relevant perks that I could
as I leveled up. Iād tell you what they were but to be honest,
I donāt think you deserve to know. You havenāt earned it. After those 30 minutes were up, I ascended
down the mountain, I totally didnāt fuck up the beginning of the Bioshock Infinite
video and say the wrong word as a joke, got licked by a bunch of friendly puppies, stole
more cabbage than I realistically shouldāve been able to fit into wherever it was stuffed,
arrived at Whiterun, sold the armor and weapons I didnāt need, and spoke to the Jarl about
a giant lizard. I did this because as I was recovering from
and immediately giving myself frostbite atop the mountain, I remembered that I had to get
to a certain point in the story before I can travel to Dragonborn Island to begin the DLC. Having Restoration at 50 before that wouldnāt
really help me all that much. If youāre wrapped in a chain and dropped
into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorkel wonāt save you. Before setting out, I used the vegetables
the local townsfolk grew for me despite not even knowing I existed to create several bowls
of vegetable soup, you never know when you might need it. Iād also made sure to get a more efficient
healing spell from farfield. Pretend what I said before didnāt happen. Watching the footage back without remembering
everything and making inferences about my reasons for doing things sometimes leads to
me lying, not that I would ever lie to you. [that was a lie montage] My first attempt in using a superior spell
to heal myself resulted in my demise, as one would expect because I didnāt believe I
could survive. Like that ghoul fridge kid in Fallout 4. He didnāt live because Bethesda is shit,
he survived because he knew that he could, he lived because Todd Howard believed in him. And Todd Howard believes in you too. I kept grinding away until I got Restoration
up to 50, it only took like 10 minutes. It goes without saying Iād been playing
on Adept. Not only was it the level of the spell I was
after, it made the cold do more damage in a shorter amount of time so I could heal while
standing in it without my health going up to quickly or dying in the process. But I backhanded that bitch back down to Novice
where it belonged and entered Bleak Falls Temple to retrieve the Dragonstone. Ripleyās Believe It or Donāt tells us
that itās not too difficult to get through this temple without attacking anything. Consider it a trial run for whatās to come. With my Magic as high as it is, my dual-wielding
glowing hands, and this difficulty setting, enemies are more like bumblebees swarming
an elephant than any sort of a threat to me. Getting the Golden Claw from Arvel Not-So-Swift
isnāt difficult either. He can be cut down without damaging any other
creatures and the feral ratatouilles destroy him when given the opportunity. Traps donāt count and can be used to turn
anything you can think of into swiss cheese. The Draugr Overlord requires some baiting. That could be a sexual. Thereās another trap that he must be led
to, fire bad got his ass a bit, but the swing-set swords finished him off, I got the Dragonstone,
returned to Far Cry, and witnessed news of a dragon attack. Luckily for them, I was there to do nothing
about it. Thatās not entirely true. I went out to the farms to collect more of
the cabbages grown in my honor when someone approached me, which was weird since they
were standing still while I was walking. Out of curiosity, I told him I had cabbages
to sell, thinking to trick the idiot because his mouth bothered me. HE STOLE MY FUCKING CABBAGES. Suffice it to say, I knew my only option was
to kill him and who I can only assume was his wife. I liked watching her blood-soaked body seize
on the ground next to my cabbage cribs. I reloaded a save to ensure that didnāt
count, went to the watch-tower, saved the day by doing my best vegetable impression,
Proventus said there was no proof I was the Dragonborn, obviously he had to pay for that,
I got stabbed a bunch and flopped on the ground, ignored the donkey girl, and answered the
summons of the Greybeards. I had to yell at Arnold to continue the quest,
he took some damage from that I think, my eyes arenāt what they used to be, probably
shouldnāt have made fun of blind people in my last video. They learned me new words good, I listened
speak their words and ran fast at gate. Before tracking down the horn of Harold Horn-Holder,
I rode to Winterhold, failed Faroldās test because I didnāt know how to spell, bought
book from Farthington, and got inside the College of Winterhold. The idea being that I could either find someone
to pay to raise my Restoration skill or I could maybe get a useful spell from someone
inside. After this guy holding nothing told me to
piss off, I pretty much gave up on that idea, rode to Dawnstar, and made my way towards
Ustengrav. Ustengrav is even easier than my sister. Keep your hands in front of your face, pretend
you arenāt being hit, and you can get through this ordeal without any problems. Thatās probably something I shouldnāt
have said. There isnāt any kind of boss at the end
of the dungeon, besides trying to read Delphineās handwriting. With the Horn in my possession, I returned
to High Hrothgar return it. Then I remembered that I didnāt have it
and went to Delphineās inner basement to get it, but then the Cultists attacked. I did my part to stop the borderline terrorist
attack by basically standing in place and putting a bunch of bandaids on my arm. I gave back the Golden Claw, rented a room,
Delphine weaseled the horn out of her hidden crevice, I stole her stuff because I can,
whatās hers is mine, whatās mine is my, itās The Walking Dead Season 8 subtitle
All Out War when you cross that line. With the Cultist orders having been read by
yours truly, I road a cart to Windhelm, swam to a boat, and arrived in Solstheim. The man I was after was in the Southeast of
the island, which is why I marked Southwest on my map and headed there. I absolutely did not read the word wrong. My level of reading comprehension is so far
below your own that I blew passed negative infinity and lapped your bitch ass. See ya at the finish line, loser. Shortly after coming centimeters away from
dying at the hands of sentient chocolate milk mix, I realized that I went weast when I shouldāve
gone east, and found a city carved out of giant mushrooms that are in no way phallic. This Tylenol Febreeze guy is who sometimes
sells the Poison Rune spell I was after, but he wouldnāt open his shop to me. His science fair experiment was supposed to
come to life and wreck havoc all over the mushroom, yet for some reason it wouldnāt
happen. So I searched his house for clues, dropped
valuable materials down the float hole, tried to throw the basket backwards over my head
into the hole, did it, tripped into the hole, and went back outside to discover that he
was the reason for the season, he produced dust from somewhere and wished on a falling
star for it to come to life, thatās why itās a sorta white color and clumpy. It occurred to me rather quickly that I had
no means of killing this thing. I couldnāt blow it into the water with my
mouth because the very act itself would damage it. There was only one way to proceed, I would
need an inanimate object worth next to nothing, I neededā¦ a donkey. Having a companion kill it would obviously
not count, but there is a trick that can be used to get around this little issue. Take Lydia to the scene of the crime that
has yet to be committed, dismiss her from your service, and sheās no longer a companion,
sheās just a normal essential NPC. Essential being a label the game uses for
NPCs that canāt die. As she takes her leave, she engages in combat
with the Ash Monster. I didnāt make it happen, I didnāt make
those cars hit each other, I just covered the intersection with ice to ensure something
funny would happen after I left. Lydia is about as terrible as I expected. She could only take a few bonks before falling. For a while I just waited until she got back
up, which was harder than I wouldāve thought because of how potent the ashās dust spray
attack was. Eventually it hit me that I could use the
Healing Hands spell to keep Lydia in the fight for longer periods of time. And after the longest 7 minutes in the history
of minutes, Lydia defeated the beast, Tafgar thanked me, and I bought the Poison Rune spell
for 885 gold. Before I even used it once, I snagged the
Adept Restoration perk to make Adept level spells cost much as much magic. It still used almost half my magic, but it
didnāt matter, I could do damage. And what better way to test its usefulness
than by fighting a dragon. Poison Rune does 3 damage per second for 30
seconds. That 3 damage is not a lot, itās barely
more than a fork, but the fact that it lasts for 30 seconds is what makes it useful. 30 seconds is longer than you think, ask anyone
whoās ever been on fire. The problem though, especially with dragons,
is that they must pass over it, they have to step on the rune, for it to poison them. Sometimes the dragon will land and walk towards
you, sometimes itāll just stay in place and spray fire at you. The dragon fought during the Blade in the
Dark quest, this one, has a minimum health of 905, which means youāre going to have
to poison it at least 10 times to kill it. Of course, in practice, thatās a lie as
Delphine is there to attack it with you. With the dragon slain and access to Delphineās
secret chambers granted, I returned to High Hrothgar for the ceremony of being breathed
on by old men. I almost forgot to strip myself naked, I managed
to do it just before the celebration concluded, and I continued the main quest line with Delphine. Her plan was that āIā sneak into the Thalmore
Embassy. On my way to the bar, I spent $1400 on a shirt
that makes Restoration spells cost 12% less while making magic regenerate 50% faster. I wasnāt sure about the math, if it checked
out or not, if the benefits of this shirt outweighed the benefits of the one I replaced
that restored magic 75% faster. 75 is more than 50, but 50+12 is also less
than 75. However, because 50 is 2/3 of 75 and you can
never have more than 100% of anything, you add 2/3 of 100, which is 66, to the 12 to
get you to 78, proving with the power of mathematics that my new armor is better. I gave Melbourne my armor, some soup, a few
lockpicks, and rode the carriage to the embassy. Drunk guy caused a scene, I robbed those elf
bitches of their vegetables, and got to work poisoning godās little mistakes. The issue with the Thalmore is that they like
magic. Their lightening bolts hurt my magicās feelings
and makes it collapse in on itself. The upside is that theyāre weak enough that
two poison runes can kill them, and multiple can be damaged with one rune. Unless of course youāre this wizard in particular
who refuses to abide by my make-believe rules. All in all, the Poison Rune isnāt the worst
tool Iāve used to massacre the Thalmore. With my little book of secrets, I talked to
Delphine about Esbern, rode to Riften from a farm because I wasnāt walking all the
way out there, and went down into the Ratway. Skewer and Dandruff both got poisoned by my
ground magic, a bucket took a little trip, the number of bear-traps I activated for sexual
reasons turned my ankles into a fine power, some Thalmore cheated and Minecraft ātpā
commanded their way into the ratway, Chef Boyardee was poisoned then lit on fire in
the greatest tag team assault in Skyrim Restoration Spell Only playthrough history, and I met
Burnie back at Riverwood. He made some sudo-intellectual comments about
shit never being lost, just forgotten, which makes sense but is stupid. The Chuck E Cheese I got banned from isnāt
lost, I just forgot where it was because Iāve been banned from so many that itās hard
to keep track. I wasnāt even doing anything wrong, all
I want is a ball from the ball pit of every Chuck E Cheese location in the world, why
is that such a fucking problem for some people. Alduinās Wall is in the mineshaft of Karthspire. I decided to be obtuse and sneak in the back
entrance thatās hidden atop the mountain. In my attempts to go on a mountain climbing
adventure I unintentionally arrived at the actual entrance, did a sweet backflip as I
embraced death, entered the entrance guarding the entryway main entree of this location,
cut my hand open but itās okay itās the same hand that heals me, and waited for the
old man to read the wall to me. I had to face my fears of ridding the windy
mountain of its frozen icy protectors, but I couldnāt do that without being harassed
by this scientology dragon. No matter what I did no matter how far I ran,
it would not leave me alone. Some time later I returned to Anger and used
my powers of charisma to convince him to lend me a hand. I let myself be abused by the wind briefly,
got bored, went up the hill, and talked to the dragon. Once again the challenge sorta falls apart
as you cannot continue unless you expel heat from your nostrils at the dragon, which damages
him. Itās pretty gross actually, Iām like 90%
nasal so thereās probably something besides fire in there. I spoke at length with the beast, by the time
he finally shut up, the sun had risen over the sky. My objective was hell, obtaining an The Elder
Scroll to be specific. I didnāt waste time talking to the green
freak in the winter wonderland, I pressed onward into the heart of winter, beyond the
land of always walrus, until I found the ice house with Sagittarius deep in its frozen
hole. Because the Dwemer are stupid and nothing
can be simple, these spiders cannot be damage by my poison, like the Man in Black from Lost,
they were corrupted by the darkness before I found them. Todd Howardās words penetrated their scrap
metal and rusted them from the inside out. They are unfortunately condemned to suffer
for eternity. I canāt kill them to end their suffering. I thought my magical prowess would save me
from the bladed spanking machine, it did not, I taunted a spider, traversed this section
in the usual way I need to speak long enough to show the entire fall that should do it,
and Restoration got up to 60, allowing Magic to regenerate 50% faster. The Falmer did far more damage to me than
I thought. For the first time ever I didnāt collect
any of the ridiculous armor either of the two neanderthals dropped above the door to
Blackreach, ran though the neat looking area without doing much of anything, solved the
puzzle from memory, that was a lie I 100% had to look it up again, retrieved the Elder
Scroll, I got the rubikās cube too but forgot to return it, and read it at the time slice. As events were unfolding in the past and right
now, I got curious about how much of the world is rendered, so I did a little sneaky and
had a look for myself. I learned the new word of power to control
the very fabric of a dragon, Alduin arrived, and the fight began. And, unfortunately, OBS decided to fuck me
at one of the worst times possible. Remember that problem I mentioned in my Euclid
C-Finder video? It happened again during this fight. The issue is that OBS only records a few frames
over an extended period of time, like several minutes. The audio is there but the video isnāt,
and thereās nothing I can do about it. All I can really do is speed up the entire
fight to give you a general idea of how it went. In short, it took a bit of effort but was
surprisingly doable. Alduin has a lot of health and Parthurnaax
will only do so much before heās down and out for the remainder of the fight. After Alduin takes a certain amount of damage,
most of which came from using Dragonrend and laying down a Poison Rune right before he
lands, he stays on the ground and renders dragonrend unnecessary. Then you just place a rune near him, run away
to lure him towards it, and eventually heāll take enough damage to die. Shortly after arriving in Whiterun to convince
the Jarl to let me trap a dragon in his bedroom, OBS got its shit together and started working
again. I failed to convince him, talked to the Greybeards
about having a dinner party in Alduinās honor, watched in horror as death sprinted
towards me, was caught by it, attempted to kill it but death doesnāt apply to death,
and spoke to Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak about joining the Stormcloaks. Bear-head didnāt take me at my word and
required that I mate with an icicle to prove my worth. Not a problem. The island was farther away than I thought
and Bandits were holed up in a nearby ship, the Chief took a lot more damage than I expected,
I found the island, and got frozen-fucked by the ice bubble. That thing really hits hard. But it went all-in on offense, and everyone
knows that iceās natural weakness is poison. With my task performed, I took the oath and
joined the ranks of the Stormcloak. In an amazing twist, I wasnāt immediately
made the King of the Stormcloaks. If this was Fallout 4 Iād be the 2nd in
command after doing that one little thing 9/10 doctors donāt want you to know about. Gilmore Girlās job for me was to take part
in an assault on a location where a crown may be held. And again, OBS got fucky. This was recorded on the morning of December
23rd and I would be out of town from the 24th through the 27th, so I didnāt have time
to replay multiple portions of the game and write parts of a new script based on what
happened. Iām sorry that this is becoming a more frequent
problem but for this video all I can do is try to make the best out of what usable footage
Iāve got. Retrieving the skull itself was mostly a cake
walk, but the Dragur Scourge was one of the toughest foes Iāve faced so far, second
only to Alduin. I tried many a time to poison him with my
runescape but he would not succumb to it. Eventually, around the time his health was
halfway depleted, I tried something new, reviving someone who canāt die to force them to fight
my battles for me. Battle-Beard dispatched of the Scourge in
an impressive fashion, I got the crown, ignored the word of power on the bendy-wall because
it was worthless to me so I didnāt even bother seeing what it was, returned the crown,
and went to deliver a message to the Jarl of Whiterun. I think I interrupted something because the
Jarl would not take his eyes off Irileth. Even when I spoke to him, his eyes were fixed
on that blue-skinned whore. Balgruff denied Ulfricās request and the
time had come for the 2nd battle of Hoover Dam. This fucking guy interrupted the Jarl himself
to tell me that he was the least important person in here, I met with Galmar outside
Whiterun, and with a dozen soldiers I pushed the limits of computer generated graphics
gameplay to the limit by assaulting the city by myself. With a high enough amount of magic and the
right attire, Poison Rune can become pretty powerful. Damage from normal foes becomes irrelevant
when you can heal yourself damn near constantly, magic regenerates 50% faster than normal so
you can lay down Poison Runes pretty frequently, and they can damage multiple enemies at once
if theyāre close enough to each other. The worst part of this method of attack is
the same inconvenience that all tv show murderers face, waiting for the poison to kill your
victim. Inside the castle, I finally had the chance
to almost end Jarl Balgruuf. This was the closest Iāve come to having
the opportunity to attack him as a part of a quest. He surrendered, Stormcloaks took over, and
I reported to Ulfric for my next task. Then, as expected, the problem. For reasons I have yet to figure out, I couldnāt
talk to him to advance the civil war quest. I could ask him how itās going but no option
would give me a new objective. The only option that would advance anything
is related to the peace counsel. But, seeing as Iād used up all other options,
thatās all I could do. So I met with General Tullius, returned to
the Greybeards, sat through the council, sided with the Stormcloaks at every conceivable
opportunity, was told the Call Dragon shout from Delphineās wrinkled lover, and went
to Dragonsreach to summon me a dragon. As I approached the bench, I noticed that
my waypoint was back outside. I found Jarl Bulgruuf swimming in the water
then I waited for him to head back inside as he requested. The second he entered Dragonsreach he disappeared
from this dimension, thereās no other explanation for it. My waypoint was out on the balcony. I waited for hours but nobody showed up. I called the dragon, he soared above the castle,
then flew away. I went back inside to look for the Jarl but
he was nowhere to be found. As expected, this quest had come to a standstill. No progress could be made and, as I discovered
in my Skyrim Hands Bound video, you canāt get to Skuldafn without doing this quest. So, all that progress with the civil war quest
line was for nothing. I reloaded a save to before I sided with the
Stormcloaks, summoned them and the Imperials to the Greybeardās 2nd annual tea party,
sat through it with my imaginary friend next to me, talked to the Jarl, captured the dragon,
and rode to Skuldafn. I ignored everything on my way to the temple
because, come on, Iām a pussy, this is what I do. Inside the temple I discovered a sad, the
Draugr inside seem to have stocked up on G-Fuel, the official liquid of gamers everyone who
canāt consume anything unless itās marketed to them as being made for gamers. Their parents buy it for them so they might
as well be spending monopoly money. Basically what Iām implying here is that
Poison Rune has no affect on any of the Draugr in here. Maybe because of the sacred location theyāre
immune, maybe theyāre too high a level, maybe the G-Fuel thing was right, either way,
I couldnāt attack any of them. What I didnāt even consider was the Draugr
Overlord hoarding the Diamond Claw for himself. He too was immune. I had 2 options. Find a trap or whip out the wooden plate I
saved for emergencies and use it to phase through the wall. I wanted to try option A first, Iāve never
used the plate glitch before and didnāt want this to be the video to need it. At the bottom of this wheelchair accessible
staircase is a pressure plate that triggers an arrow attack. All I had to do was get the Overlord in front
of it and trigger the plate. One way or another, a plate would be necessary
here. The arrows actually drained his health much
faster than I expected. Calamity struck when its health got low. The arrows shoot straight but downward at
an angle. When the Overlord gets tired, he goes down
on one knee to practice his proposal technique, I said yes by the way because he went to Jared. On his knee, the arrows wonāt hit him. At least I thought that until they did. Once he died, I retrieved the claw, opened
the door, attempted to poison Nahkriin but jumped into the portal before I could see
if it worked, and arrived in Sovngarde. Tsun was a complete pushover. His imposing height doesnāt save him from
my poison any more than Andre the Giantās wrestling skills saved him from congestive
heart failure. He let me into the Hall of Heroes, I spoke
to the three people who just got their faces painted at the fair down the street, and together
we shouted the clouds away. Yeahā¦ the cotton candy mightāve been laced
with something, besides what I put in it. Alduin arrived, and the final battle began. This was, as you probably expected, not difficult. The three heroes do a solid amount of damage,
and Alduin is more likely to walk towards you since thereās more space for activities,
thatās a movie reference. I think the gameplay got stuttery again here
because why wouldnāt it, nothing can ever go the way I want it to, itās not like youāre
missing much anyway. The fight took about 3 minutes. The World Eater was slain, I was sent back
to The Elder Scroll 5, and I beat Skyrim With Only Restoration Spells.
Hell yeah Mitten Squad!
Nobody beats Skyrim
That was pretty damn good, I didn't expect to watch it all but at the end I was ready to watch more