C-Sections are WILD!

when royalty gave birth it was like a public event too i know it was a public vent look they said um when uh marie antoinette let the meat cake famously said in 1788 when she gave birth 200 people were in attendance cuz now would be a good time with the world being shut down for your wife to sell some tickets for their child birth what's up i'm chris distefano aka christy d aka king gay you're listening to the bay ridge boys history hyenas [Music] welcome to the history hyenas everybody we're coming in hot we got uh i'm chris the stefano tiana's pappas welcome to our thought cam yeah i was about to say welcome to the only podcast that deliberately has unflattering camera angles that's how we do it we want you to see our [ __ ] thigh meat and our double chins and um we're going to do an episode today it's going to be wild it's going to be all about the c-sections because make no mistake we're going to talk about uh pregnancies and babies because yanni's about to have a baby and also so are you at home probably because you definitely had unprotected sex in quarantine you vicious vicious pig [ __ ] yeah i mean it's the only way for humans to get to the planet the only way for humans to get to this planet they can't go through an alien side door right they can't will it into existence you gotta go you gotta swim through famada to get here that's the only way you gotta get because when you're born i don't care how clean you are when you're born you have fub's bed cause cause yeah and it's not even saying anything about the particular mother but i'm just saying childbirth comes with a lot of [ __ ] there's a lot of [ __ ] on you now what's the plan you guys wanna what's what's your wife's plan is she gonna go oh natural does she wanna have uh epidurals what's the ish what's the plan what's the birthing plan plan is i'm gonna start doing [ __ ] yoga and i'm gonna figure out how to sit like a yogi yeah yeah cuz but i'm not flexible anymore it's funny when guys do yoga it's like girls do yoga the yoga pants are flexible when a guy does yoga it's just [ __ ] weird should we create a patreon tier where we they get to watch us try to do yoga i did advanced yoga once it was one of the hardest things in my life and then i had to do a roll back and i farted in front of all the people it squeaked the yoga squeezed the fart out of me like it was the last bit of toothpaste in a toothpaste tube yoga yoga is for if you're a gassy guy if you're a gassy guy then yoga is not for you but they they actually say farting uh is okay with yoga they say it's okay so people don't judge you no because you have to get it out you have to get out the spirits and get it out well all the women in the class because it was all women in me and then an experienced yogi all the women into me few giggled i got a couple of bad looks yeah my wife was mortified yeah so i don't know if i was forgiven the problem with me is if i was a woman there'd be no way i could hold in farts because if i was held into my butt then it would just come out as a queef i just one way or another either my back butt or my front butt would start releasing yes because if you're a woman you'd be a stripper yeah you would be a stripper at some point in your life you would have because i make no mistake this is how i know i'm a gay man because even when i'm having sex with women in their vaginas i still just call it their front butt so at least i'm having anal sex all the time because i think if you're a woman there's a good chance no matter how good your upbringing was that you would have sold your [ __ ] at some point in your life 100 i would have gotten into prostitution if i was a woman regardless because i'm a horny horny kid you're a horny kid because you're horned up but not much anymore for the first time i like the libido is going down but here's the thing you can't we can't really believe that because the truth is you're wired horny i'm wired horn your balls and dick are different i'm wired they're excited and they're charged up well i told you you were born with a full battery in your balls because i told you about my calpers glass though christy california i had a bigger calpers i got a bigger compass clam which makes my glue and so i'm just i as i've as i'm getting older my calpers gland is getting smaller so i'm shooting more loads and becoming more uh the doctor said this happen i have like this reverse benjamin button for my calpers gland yeah it's [ __ ] wild actually yeah it's the truth the truth is you're very very fertile your sperm is very fertile i think jesus wants you to spread the seed yeah and i think you're so fertile you can even glue in a guy's ass and a baby might have maybe might have because the truth is you can get a you could get a piece of [ __ ] in a guy's [ __ ] pregnant what it is because my skin is white and my balls are puerto rican it's what it is cuz of my spermy's doing zuba cause you did cocaine this weekend it's what it is when you go off the rails sometimes the only way to get back on is to sort them up wepa in the morning available at patreon.com bay ridge boys monday through friday it is the best morning show in the country and is the only kind it is the only morning show that has ever been done live where one of the hosts was presently on cocaine yeah and passed out for what was it seven full seconds maybe more it might be more i mean because you did a show on cocaine it's what it is because i was hammered and i was ripped and i had just been beaten the night before so it's what it is and i respect you because you wanted to try something new you want to try something different yeah because sometimes you just got to shake it up yeah because a lot of a lot of these other a lot of these other fcfs a lot of these just f's who aren't fully charged like we are would have canceled the morning show and said you know what i'm not going to do it but because we are fully charged we have our butt plugs firmly in our ass and 100 battery life 24 7. we're doing it even though i'm on blow yeah i mean it turned into one of the most classic episodes go join patreon.com bay ridge boys our channel to watch weapon in the morning every day also you know what i'm excited about what i'm excited about the freaking history hyenas face mask it almost makes me want the pandemic to stick around yeah just so people could walk around looking like history ninjas i went to historians.com and hit the merch check i have a face mask and a tote bag history and his tote bag coming to my house i bought my own merch yeah i mean when did we get the history hyenas masks up there i love them they've been up there yeah because every time i look at venatia with that black face mask on i feel like i'm talking to cobra commander it's what it is yeah i mean because she's telling us we can't eat pizza she's boston oh yeah venetian said we can't eat pizza we would want to get a slice from no-no's pizza here in bay ridge brooklyn and we want to get a zucchini slice and vanity said no you're getting sandwiches because she called us fat she calls us fat and it's already i'm already depressed enough coming off the blow i don't need you to tell me i'm fat because if bicky mike just why does he always look like he just got back from vegas and lost everything yeah cuz yeah if binky might get he just looks like john goodman if he never made it yeah cause you look like john goodman like if the movie twins was cast with john goodman you would be the danny devito character [ __ ] mike's just a good guy because you're [ __ ] handsome but you can't give up jerseys yeah you can't give them up yeah no you wear them because you had a little bit of a big body but now you're in shape and you're throwing hands i'm throwing hands cuz and by the way we're going to make a history in his baseball jersey okay i just got lightheaded i think i may go down yeah because i need some food i haven't had breakfast i'm light-headed well the pizza would have been here by now i know but fantasism always had snacks you need to listen anybody out there want to start a podcast or anybody on their show little word to the wise is always have a woman on staff because they always have snacks and they can always take care of you yeah okay well she doesn't have sex but she does have altoids yeah just bringing so she's saying you know what giannis here's take an altoid thank you thank you for blood sugar that was the closest vena antifa ever came to getting on camera you guys might have stolen a shot of her right elbow yeah that's about it so unfortunately yeah um so yeah so today we're gonna do the episode on c-sections which i was present in the in the room for my daughter who was not a c-section um she came out the vaginal canal and uh that was wild to watch that so i could only imagine what it must be like to cut open a woman's stomach and take out of babesicles was anyone here born c-section nobody was born c-section i don't even have that information how would you even have that information i don't think they'll know i think you they'll you only do c-section if there's a problem with the birth right i think i don't think like you can just opt for a c-section i think if they see mrs pappas if they see the babies turned a certain way they'll say you know what let's do a c-section i think and then it used to be if you got a c-section you would always have to get c-sections but i don't think that's the case anymore i think it still is the case no no oh people usually do get uh c-sections after the first one and sometimes it's been more popular to have c-sections because some women don't want to have their babies vaginally that's very rare yeah but it is something a lot of people also believe that beyonce did not have her baby that's what we were talking about a lot of people say celebrities don't do it they always have a surrogate because they don't want to mess up their beauty let's talk about that on conspiracy cuties only at patreon.com rich boys i'm screwed in [ __ ] shalom yeah we got a lot of conspiracy make no mistake we cracked the case okay we cracked the case yeah it's what it is baby yeah so a lot of people think because if you sit like this are you just giving away that your penis isn't as big as it should be yeah yeah 100 if you sit like that because here's the let me see because you're not wearing your glasses so you're on i can't see anything let me get the glasses right now yeah let me get the glasses okay let me ask you first of all okay first of all i want i want to ask christy d your opinion on what's your opinion on on on on on the new on the new policy that uh democrats want i'm asking chrissy d now before i give you the glasses got it got it what is your uh what is your position on the policy that says that um the taxpayers should pay for illegal immigrants to have legal representation if they're committing a crime i would say that i'm out there every single day working my ass off so i don't you know my tax money if it's gonna go to anybody it's gonna go to an american citizen not some [ __ ] ms-13 dirtbag if they want to [ __ ] come over here in this country they can climb the wall and see if they get in if they can guess past texas with a [ __ ] shotgun okay so that was your answer now i want you to go undercover and i'm going to ask you again christopher um what is your position on the new policy proposal by the democrats that everyone should have legal representation it's part of our principles as a country to have legal representation no matter whether you're naturalized or not so everyone even those accused of crimes should be able to have representation okay i for i first of all i appreciate your question thank you very much for that question i do appreciate you taking the time to ask me that i want to start off my answer preface everything with saying black lives matter i want to tell you that black lives matter trans black lives matter every life matters but only if they're black so i just want to say that to you into the camera with that being said i do think that um emperor cassio cortez has put forward a nice plan on what to do with um illegal immigrants who do need taxpayer money um in case they do get into a crime that was most likely caused by the white patriarchy um i would say that um you would listen emperor cortez's um response on that i don't have the information right now um and i would say that also um uh czar uh bill de blasio or azar bill de blasio also is doing great job in new york city i've heard that crime is going down um and uh and yeah and i do i appreciate that question i just want to say um donald trump is an orange pig absolutely intersectionality uh paradigms yeah yeah i do want to say yes so that's yeah so that's because you cannot see i mean i was trying the thing was it was hard for me to come up with things because i had a headache right now and bub is it's like your eyes are so close together because the lenses i mean yeah cause sometimes when i look forward i see my nose yeah i can see my nose when i'm looking at people that's how close my eyes are together yeah cause i mean that was a really good character piece thank you because it's character piece we're gonna do it every day we're gonna we're gonna just keep switching off but yeah bubs listen there's a lot of information with c-section so it wasn't named after julius caesar which i didn't know it wasn't the name of julius caesar but was the caesar salad named after julius caesar no that also wasn't named after julius caesar so what's named after caesar just to seize a haircut just to see the hair cut you look franks and beans if you haven't sees your haircut dude it's a franks of beats cut it's the caesar haircuts named after caesar and ju and and and caesar hugo chavez hugo chavez because if you're a guy you can't have bangs that's not what you you're not you don't want to be the woman who says it's my boyfriend he has banks no but you know what's you're absolutely right it makes you look franks and beans but what's weird to me is that it seems from like ancient greece city-states right the pericles era of ancient greece okay all the way to like the end of rome for some reason the caesar haircut was like the money it was like not one gay guy was like push those back and grow out those locks but cause how did the seas or haircut how did they even did they have scissors back then because like how did they kind of yeah i think it started with like one of the first freaking powerful caesars probably had just receding haircut and he just pushed it forward yeah we're looking and that was that everyone just started pushing it forward we're looking at pictures of um of uh of men with caesar haircuts right now and zac efron just popped up i mean is there a more gorge man than zac efron he's got a new show on netflix right now where he's just walking around making believe that he loves everybody and he doesn't i mean i'm sure he does but it's like all you know about you know celebrity [ __ ] but he's just i mean so handsome it's frustrating yeah he's i don't know if women like that look though he's too perfect-looking what do you think about zac efron do you women like that or not you guys like mistakes and faces you like manly stuff you like a scar here and there like they love you you have a protruding forehead they love that yeah because i was thinking about this the other day it's like working out and getting in shape is the gayest thing we do because we're really only doing it so other guys think we're good looking because women don't care at all no they do women couldn't care at all if you have a little bit of what you can't be 400 pounds but if you got like a little bit of a gut but you have a good looking face and you work hard it's like that's fine but a guy would be like oh look at your tits but like girls don't care like yeah it's just a guy not really like i think it's like confidence humor and then somewhere down the list maybe 20th or 40th money and success has something to do with it yeah maybe maybe maybe just maybe i've on occasion i've noticed just a few times i've noticed that that is something that's attractive to women yeah money they don't care if you got beer guts and fat nipples you care if anything if a guy's got like a little weight on him a little dad bother god do you think it's cute um it depends depends depends on his skin color wei jong-jan yeah because it's wei zhang jing there people know we're kidding they know let's get back to the no yeah let's get back to the notes yeah no because there was very cause because you know and by the way i by the way as i just want to say i have my glasses on i'm going undercurrent right now i just want to say when i don't you guys like the last one of the glasses i just do this and then you know i'm undercover i just want to say with this episode of c-sections i am very happy and thankful that we do have a woman's voice to tell us certain things because as a man a member of the patriarchy i do not know the first thing about childbirth i do not know the first thing about child rearing and i thought it was very vitally important to have a woman specifically a woman of color that's why we have vennatinisha here she's she has on her black mask and she's in blackface today so she's so she is here to give us the advice that we need you know what's funny about feminism and feminists they always want guys out we want you out get out get out of my space get stop mansplaining stop talking except when it comes to pregnancy when a woman is pregnant they want you to say we are pregnant yeah we are feminists have you noticed that they want you in on that and it's like what i'm not i'm not how come you're pregnant let me worship you queen let me ask you this how come a white feminist like a karen a white staunch feminist why aren't they white nationalists i feel like that's a white supremacist if you're a white feminist i feel like you are white supremacist if you're a white feminist way zhongzhang am i wrong on that i don't know i was going into cover sorry because i stopped jonas just wait she had i just i didn't quite understand what did you get that was he trying to say kind of like like i'm just saying like if you're a white feminist yeah aren't you like a why aren't you you're being like a supremacist in a way you're saying like because your skin color because your skin color and you're saying females are above everything and and you're white so it's like you are kind of a white supremacist that's a good now i understand what you're saying if you're gonna be a feminist you should just exalt black women exactly then you're not a white supremacist exactly that's what i'm saying yeah okay and that's what it got a little rough there it got a little rough but you [ __ ] you sailed at home baby i sailed home i'm chrissy finds a way you sailed the [ __ ] home but that's why i think like shouldn't vanity is leaving venetia got up and is left to set because shouldn't sean king and rachel dolezal actually be revered by the black community because they're trying to they're they're they're taking away their own white privilege and living black yeah i guess i guess if we all did that if everyone became real child of all the women became rachel dolezal and all the men became sean canning and we all just turned black there would be no more systemic racism because we'd all be black that's a good point that's interesting since reality's such suggestion who's gonna tell me i'm not black 100 [ __ ] black so am i so there we go we just solved white supremacy on our podcast absolutely yeah exactly that's what it is and andrew schultz solved it the moment he met charlemagne yeah so his it's what it is been black from that moment on yeah the food's here and guess what it's not pizza it's not pizza yeah and i i'm so hungry i want to pause the podcast and eat but we're not going to do that because mike cannon's going to send a letter to the truffle pig yeah we're not going to do it we're not going to uh pause it because the the this episode is going to be great to see if yani could stay conscious through it because i got low blood sugar the altoids helped a little bit hey we're gonna need to scroll down in the notes a little bit if if you can just a little bit yeah because some of these notes are a [ __ ] said loser oh here we go here we go yeah go down a little bit thank you very much the first recorded case of a mother surviving a c-section surgery was in 1580 in siege thousand switzerland where jacob neufer which is close to another word who was a pig elder is said to have performed the operation on his wife when her labor was not progressing so in 1580 in sugarhouse in switzerland that's the [ __ ] first c-section is that wild wow so 1500's but i thought there were c-sections in ancient rome no they didn't call it a c-section no but what happened baby yes no but why are you saying she's here for my historical fact what there were uh that's the earliest c-section in ancient rome they were they happened in how they would just cut it out they'd i don't think but they died what no but but but the c-sections in ancient rome was a religious thing i thought if the mother died giving childbirth during childbirth they would cut the baby out for religious reasons they wouldn't let the baby dead and stomach is technically right and he's also uh he's also a doctor so i got a doctorate you got a doctorate degree i mean because dr ford ii is also a doctor yeah what was she a doctor of i don't know because if you there's if you're a professor you're called doctor it's stupid how long are we gonna continue to do that it's very dumb i mean how disrespectful to a guy who goes 15 years does a residency can actually help you if you're sick that you're called the same thing as a person who wrote a paper on on on sociological issues yes basically blasey ford was american professor of psychology at palo alto university okay so yeah so i know it's very confusing because even being a physical therapist it's like yes i'm a dpt doctor of physical therapy but to introduce myself as doctor i always thought was misleading but i did know it was interesting to see like the the students that i was in school with like they couldn't wait to call themselves doctor it's like well you have a little bit of a you know you got an inferior complex you got you're a little insecure because you're trying to make believe you're a doctor one in the truth you're really not right so i felt very uncomfortable if a patient ever called me doctor i would correct them be like i'm not a doctor i can't do blood it's a very strange thing my mother would got a doctorate in law and she wanted to be called doctor and i was like you're a lawyer i don't know that's very confusing yeah i'm calling someone who's a doctor who gets a degree a lawyer i would just you say i would write if i'm signing a patient's notes christos stefano dpt not dr chris distefano yeah you've gotten handsy with it with a lot of people i put my hands on a few people yeah you put some heads in my you know how to work something out and you do it medically i remember i had these little things here when we first started being friends and i asked you about them and i was worried about them for years as soon as you felt them you called them fatty somethings and you said they were nothing to worry about i can't do the acronym quick what is nothing to worry about quick what do you mean mbt nct what is nothing to worry about nothing nbd yeah i mean your mind goes to acronyms quick acronyms quick yeah nbd yeah we haven't done that one in a while yeah i fell i fell i felt around and i just i said all this is is the sockets for your butt plugs that's all this is that's what it is that's right plugged in yeah you plug it in every time i laugh i got light-headed i need a slice no no no don't give it to a v we're going to see if we can make it and see if giannis falls asleep there will be two pockets in a row where janice comes in with no energy okay here we go yeah so that back in the back in the day um in in in roman times uh the delivery of a child would uh the c-section they would cut through the walls of the abdomen when delivery cannot take place is in the natural way as was done in the case of julius caesar but we're finding out that oxford english dictionary is actually wrong julius caesar was not born via c-section a lot of people say he was born via c-section that people think he was born via c-section and then his mother died when in fact none of that is true his mother was alive until about 10 years before caesar was killed and he was probably just given he was probably birthed a normal way so i don't know i don't think people know why it becomes a thing yeah well i think what happened is the story of caesar's birth was confused with the story of jesus's birth right because jesus was born by c-section because his mother got banged out that's what made him a baby well no well jesus well yeah i and again we as we talked about a weapon in the morning this morning on on patreon.com rich boys i need to if i'm going to still be a member of the catholic church and pray to the virgin mary mother of god and joseph i need to know that she gave joseph consent and what happened right what was the story there right and is does joseph need to be canceled for sexual harassment or not right and was he dead be dead these are intersectionality questions that totally need to be explored yeah and let me tell you something right now joseph no matter where you are i'm reaching back into history far back into history and i'm saying you are on notice joseph is on notice joseph is on [ __ ] notice she's absolutely unknown we're out here putting people on [ __ ] notice and honestly i'm not too sure after looking back to the bible and reading certain things and looking back at certain paintings i'm not sure if mary should have actually been named karen yeah i'm not sure i mean she's giving birth to people who ended up um calling her baby white and putting images of that person with a white face and a white beard yeah and so karen you're a noodle i noticed it's very interesting to me mary and joseph how the three wise men whom only one was black so not not very culturally diverse one was black why didn't accept their gift first before the other two members of the white patriarchy and i just want to know where that was coming from because you know i i just forgot what i forgot the gift that the black man um gave so i will absolutely flock myself for that for say it again jordans oh jordan is ready what is wrong with that i mean black kids love jordan they love george yeah what's wrong with that because make no mistake yeah the black wise man gave jordan's and the black wise men gave gave jesus a pair of jordans and then they gave joseph a copy of his mixtape we're just kidding we're just kidding it wasn't a copy of the mixtape it was a pre-paid for pre-paid for patreon membership to flagrant too it's what it is it's what it is yeah because you get the highest tier membership at the brilliant idiots that is what the [ __ ] wise men gave joseph the second and then the other first of all i didn't know there was one i didn't know why there was one black wizard there was one black wise one was it really there's one yeah so it was a was that true no yeah it's a black eye and then the other one um i think there was one white one black and then the other was in the mesh patella i think youngjae was a sandra d it was a sandra day yeah wait so one of the wise men was black we should do an episode on that i didn't who was black wiseman what was his name uh uh i don't actually know what what was the name do we know be really funny if you had like a really black name like jenkins yeah i don't know what his name was but whatever it was i do respect and i do think it's beautiful jamal leroy stefan i don't know what it is though i don't know if they had names because the story never happened it didn't happen this is what it is it's all amazing that's all it's all made up so you can actually make it whatever you want whatever name you want because bubba's it didn't happen jesus yeah this is not real it's not real it's it's all made up it's based on egyptian lore which was also not real based on the sun god yeah and you don't use the worst none of it's real it's to control poor people and it's very very necessary it's very necessary and i will say right now that i want to cancel the three wise men because i'm not so sure how what gender they were i don't know what they're identifying as they're the three wise people to me because how do i [ __ ] know that they were identifying as men in that moment because we one can make the argument by how wild we are on this podcast being in the history hyenas that we're actively being social justice warriors because we're trying to cancel our own podcasts we're trying to cancel our pockets what it is we got a little bit of heavy editing to do on this one so just be careful with some of the things you said but yeah make no mistake when my mom would put out the nativity set she would have out the three wise men and baby jesus and mary and the donkeys and one or two of those wise men went up my butt so it's what it is and then i'd stick it back in there and make believe nobody noticed but whenever whenever you see a nativity scene on a lawn you never see a one of the black wives there's never a black wise well that's racist and should that be my mother had the black wise and that's why i know my mother had the racially diverse uh culturally appropriate wise men so thank you shout out mom i hope larry's okay i didn't know that one of the wise men was black that's great here we go so the term caesarean is actually derived from the latin word ces meaning to cut so it's just kind of folklore that it's from julius caesar it's not from julius caesar orange julius the drink is from julius caesar though which is a good drink yeah right yes i think it is and julia's the comedy booker who also has a street team i think he's named after julian he's named for joyce and i think caesar salad is named after no oh he's not caesar salad was named julius is not named it's not name no yeah what is named after julius caesar can we find out what was actually named after julius caesar july i know kaiser and czar so kaiser and czar are versions of caesar okay his his he was the he became known as his name wasn't julius caesar caesar just meant like the emperor yeah his name was g g gavis oh wait his name was caesar right and then everyone just be became called to caesar after his name exactly right exactly right so his name actually was julius caesar he was the first dictator emperor of rome and then the following caesars were just given his name because he kind of founded the position is he getting canceled caesar huh he might get cancelled caesar because caesar got [ __ ] canceled by brutus yeah it's what it is who's just stabbed him to death all right yeah let's let's go back to the notes because i like what i thought was go down a little bit go down just a little bit a little yeah here we go queen victoria this is what i like queen victoria this [ __ ] yeah she used chloroform as an anesthetic drug during the birth of prince leopoldo in 1853 and this paved the way for its use in the c-section so what i thought was is queen victoria basically chloroformed herself she basically used like something in the serial killer used to knock herself out for childbirth because before then women it with the pain associated with childbirth goes all the way back to adam and eve or you know adam and steve whatever no no it's adam and eve adam and eva ate the apple that's why women are evil and that's why it's painful when they give birth and that's why they're they're lesser and not as smart as men that's okay so that's it that's that's what we that's the history what is wrong with the truth so so it was very interesting that for a long time the pain of childbirth was just the you know it was just god's punishment for them eating the apple that's what it was yeah it's what it was so yeah this is what now you're in pain yeah so it was really not until 1853 that it was even considered that hey maybe women shouldn't be going through pain with this which i thought was awesome i mean because look she used to chloroform which knocked her knocked her out uh knocked her out and then uh women would also drink a mixture of alcohol and oatmeal which sounds like something i'm gonna have for dinner tonight does make no mistake i'm gonna eat i'm gonna have some alcohol and oatmeal like i'm going into a c-section tomorrow morning yeah i mean your alcohol your alcohol consumption is creeping up slowly creeping up um uh it said that they would do this for pain management and postpartum recovery and partially to do with a preventing infection because that's what i always thought about is when you see your baby being born i kind of think about like how the [ __ ] is this not infected i mean they rip through they rip through the vagina it's [ __ ] wild and they had no anesthesia back then nor did they have any antibiotics yeah so what was the percentage of women that would die in child birth it was high bro children if you made it to five years old it was like a big celebration kids used to die all the time yeah what i heard this is a fact that i heard from a scientist recently which blew my mind it wasn't actually that people technically lived shorter that much shorter like to 25 or 30 obviously depending on the area and time if there was disease around or whatever but it was the average the reason why the average life expectancy was so much lower was just like you said because most children not most but some didn't even make it to five so that pulled the average down that's why that's why i like so a lot of people actually did live to 50 60 and say that's like the average life expectancy of a man i think is 75 a woman might be 77 or 78 but you still you as a human being still are likely to live into your 80s because the average still right is borne down because if a baby is born and stillborn then that counts as a minutes old and it they it has to factor into everything yeah i didn't know all people consider that that's why statistics are all misleading [ __ ] that's like you know people are saying that trump's losing to the pulse yeah right um women women also used to bake a cake while they were in labor called it a groaning cake because they believed the smell of cake along with the work of baking it was thought to ease the discomfort of labor so that's [ __ ] crazy i mean because i would have i would get girls pregnant just eat their cake yeah exactly i just want to eat their groaning cake cuz yeah i mean because when when royalty gave birth it was like a public event too i know it was a public vent look they said um when uh marie antoinette let the meat cake famously said in 1788 when she gave birth 200 people were in attendance because now would be a good time with the world being shut down for your wife to sell some tickets for your childbirth let's make that a high heat is a vet [Applause] so if she could get two hundo in there i mean i think we'd get three hundo in there let's charge five bucks ahead we'll make some cash yeah i mean if we could do the childbirth outside and make it a soulja event i think we could squeeze four hundred because why don't we socially distance people why don't we do that we'll have your wife come in we'll have your wife she we tickets she gets a percentage and then we'll have people gambling on the outside like a vegas casino on the gender and all these types of things and if it's gonna have hair if it's not gonna have hair if yani's gonna pass out if he's not gonna pass out we're gonna just figure all that [ __ ] out and we can make some real money we could make some room wow we're gonna sell tickets to that i mean well what we just told people is an interesting fact too i mean royalty because the baby was like a it was like a national conversation or right about what this baby was going to be this was an heir to the throne this was the baby that was going to rule over the people that it was actually a public event so does that mean people used to just watch and just look at the at the prince the princesses or the queen's vagina yeah watch it come out that's what it is yeah we have a picture up right here um that will that we'll post alongside right now what we're looking at um and yeah it's just a picture of a crowd going around with nice [ __ ] chairs they look like they're from west elm but i don't think westone was invented in 1786. no no those don't know those could have been cuz look you're sitting like you're giving birth right now you are propped up cuz you got your feet on those stirrups because the yeah i think those chairs were from ikea i'm just trying to do yoga yeah cuz um also baby showers which by the way i told you i can't go because um i cannot go to your baby shower because i'm doing shows at the stress factory and your wife is making me send the invitation anyway saying no even though she could just listen to the episode and get my response because women just they just just make it difficult they make it difficult women said we can't have pizza yeah so so okay so it's interesting the first baby showers um before giving uh birth a royal woman would receive a blessing and be paraded through the streets as the public wished her well so they would we just say hey congrats congrats then she spent a month confined to her bedroom where she belongs and a period they called that lying in and her chambers were covered with tapestries and made dark and warm to replicate the environment of the uterus so yeah and uh regular women did retrieve from the public as well so that was the royal treatment but regular when if you were just a regs or eggs girl um they uh would retreat from their parents weren't cousins right right and it was normal for a woman not to return to society until six weeks after the baby so she would usually miss her own baby shower because after you gave birth for six weeks you would not come outside because you were thought to be uh dirty both physically and morally and i agree you know what it is about history generally people were [ __ ] stupid stupid and mean [ __ ] stupid in me they were meanies bubbies i mean cuz history is full of meanies i mean bubs scroll down a little bit some of the dumbest things i heard like even with gender with gender stuff can you go to that yeah the gen here we go look at this until fairly recently people believe that a baby's gender was determined at birth like just magically as it's coming down the birth canal it just gave you a dick or a puss like you just just threw one in there so as you and then many theories have existed regarding as how to control the baby sex so women would be encouraged to stay in bed for the weeks leading up to birth to improve their odds of having a boy which is just i mean that's [ __ ] nuts to me but that's what i want that's interesting it's like so i always think about that because the top scientists and doctors of the day back then with all their with all they had thought that this was true they also thought the earth was flat they also thought the sun the earth was in the universe and the sun revolved around us and it's like i wonder what we think now that 200 years now be like remember when they thought that like how stupid they were and like so what are we i was trying to think like what are we doing now that's [ __ ] stupid probably thinking that biden's gonna win the election i agree yeah yeah i'm going to look back at history but boy were they [ __ ] stupid again i agree i also want to add because we said today on weapon the morning at patreon.comridgeboys that um i believe ruth bader ginsburg is dead i believe kim jong-un is dead and i believe we said a third person was melania is melania trump has not been seen for a long time i also want to add to that that i believe joe biden is dead as well i believe that he's dead and he's just somebody's pushing buttons and just having him say thanks i think that you're when's the last time you've seen biden's face you only see him with the mask on he's been they haven't even i mean they haven't really trolled him out no i mean that mask is a [ __ ] it's a it's a recording device because that guy is dead dead dead yeah he is just not with us at it's what it is so yeah people were [ __ ] stupid back in the day they were [ __ ] stupid they so they had these baby showers this is how the baby we just told people how baby showers originated which is pretty cool and then finally women realize you know what let me get some free [ __ ] during my shower too yeah so let's set up a registry because [ __ ] bed bath and beyond yeah just me yes i mean for me going to a baby shower back in the day would have been hard because i don't think they invented gift cards yet because i'm just a kid i just get you a gift card you're a gift card type of guy cause i'm [ __ ] gfc gift card chrissy what if guys used to do but you know what that's a very guy present to give gift cards what did guys used to give his presents before gift cards i don't know i honestly have no pack of cigarettes or something yeah like i literally man like i would like for like a nice nice nice occasion like i'll buy my mother a [ __ ] thousand dollar gift card like i don't care i just don't want to get anything else i just want to put a g on the gift card and say ma i love you no i love you here's a gift card to food town i actually yeah i mean i think maybe we've probably it could have slowed down our progress as a species that there weren't gift cards so men had to actually use some of their mental power away from progressing humans into figuring out what to [ __ ] get you as a gift because i'm telling you if i gotta waste two percent of my time besides getting you a gift card thinking about what you want i'm not doing other stuff which is saving humanity i'm jesus i'm back husband let me just tell you one thing and one thing only your head is light your shorts are tight and your shoes are white guys that was a [ __ ] good poem because i'm rhyming i told you i'm black because yeah my head is small is that what you mean by light no because you said you're gonna pass out you're lightheaded oh lightheaded oh okay yeah but you do have a peapod head i do got a tiny little beetlejuice because you got tight shorts on and white sneakers i do yeah but you see this is how shorts are supposed to fit no i know i mean you know my [ __ ] thighs would bust out of those yeah you just you if you put these on it would look like the you were turning into the incredible hulk yeah it's what yeah my thighs are just yeah they're fat fat thighs i got child-bearing headaches you might as well just start wearing like uh african dashi like the dashiki's no i'm gonna start wearing boom boos yeah cause when your wife goes to motherhood maternity store tell her to pick me up some pics uh yeah all right go down because there's some other interesting things but yeah here we go midwives we've got to talk about talk about midwives midwives have always been around yeah and they've always been women but i think nowadays i want it'll be cool to have a you can have guy midwives right you should be able to have a guide midwife yeah we just part it's gotta have more of a neutral name yeah i don't i think midwives is sexist and i want to cancel the word midwife i'm going to say that here on history what could we call it a mid mid husband mid part well no a mid partner and mid person we're trying to [ __ ] actively dismantle the patriarchy stop using patriarchal terms from the past yes let's think of new stuff oh by the way it's a new word that got canceled today what was the new word that we saw that got cancelled oh hilarious you can't say hilarious anymore hilarious toxic hilarious toxic we're going to change our name to history her story we're on notice yeah that's what it is yeah yeah we should let's just call them skittle butts yeah instead of midwives they're skittle butts skittle butts yeah this yeah this is this is not called history i need these anymore this is just called michelle obama this is what his name is podcast michelle obama because it's just a neutral name everybody loves her it's called it's called her story hi uh matriarchal hyenas oh yeah you can't call girls here's the new things you can't call women you can't say hysterical right here's why although the okay here we go back there you can't call them junky crackheads even if they're doing math but here we go but you can still call them [ __ ] [ __ ] here we go although the word although the word is also used to refer to things that are funny the problematic use of this term stems from it's true it's simpson it's used to describe women the word hysterical derives from the greek word for uterus okay it usually gets tossed around as a description for emotional women and feeds it to the sexist stereotype that women are naturally or biologically crazy historically the team stems the term stems from female hysteria which was once a common medical diagnosis for women um which was described as exhibiting a wide array of symptoms including anxiety shortness of breath fainting nervousness sexual desire irritability loss of appetite sexually forward behavior and a tendency to cause trouble for others well then i'm hysterical yeah it is no longer recognized by medical authorities as a medical disorder so hysterical is out you can't say it and you can't say your women is acting hysterical but hysterical has the meaning of it's changed now what it means yeah if you mean funny if you mean f it's funny right hysterical means funny well they're saying someone's hysterical beats are funny they're saying it's okay to be used for funny oh when you call a woman hysterical it's like not good and it's strong we're going to talk about that let's talk about that tomorrow on weapon in the morning let's talk about the words that have got cancelled and we're going to try to use them in a sentence and then say goodbye to them [ __ ] i love these [ __ ] word nazis yeah i love it there should be a company called word nazis well let's make it right now should we do yeah let's [ __ ] do word nazis for friends the world right this way we're nazis with friends yeah um yeah let's scroll down a little bit yeah okay here we go a brief history of birth control in the u.s so birth control which is make it snap because i don't give a [ __ ] yeah it's it's just interesting what i thought around 3000 bc uh crete which your mom is from right or who's your or your dad's from crete well venetian and my mother's from crete so crete and egypt um they began developing developing condoms made from animal and fish bladders or intestines and linen sheets now because i've put a fish platter on my cocker timer too and i don't think it works no but this is interesting that even even back then they knew that they they wanted to have recreational sex and not just procreational sex i think recreational sex is a [ __ ] absolute it's isn't it part of um is it maslow's hierarchy of needs where like sex is number one sex is in the first tier of things and and ruth bader ginsburg oh no dr ruth sorry sorry i got my roots confused how about queen ruth yeah queen ruth dr ruth says that you you should be busting as many nuts as possible absolutely you know what was weird what do you think your belly button's for because my daughter i've thought about this my daughter is just basically all the accumulations of times i jerked off that didn't become her that's what it is like if i had jerked off one more time more or won my time less she'd be a different person absolutely and cuz make no mistake she's getting the bottom of the [ __ ] tank with your glue because you're 55 years old so she's getting the glue that's just at the very bottom so make no mistake the only the thing that i'm believing in the most and hanging my hat on the most is the power of mrs papa's uterus is gonna make that baby great because make no mistake you gave her the bottom of the battle of your glue i did yeah and i think maybe it look i think cause here's a fact here's a history hyena fact most women enjoy lesbian porn i think they enjoy lesbian porn because it takes the pressure off yeah of like reproduction you don't have to worry like oh my god oh my god don't make a baby don't make me this feels good but don't make my baby don't make a baby so i think homosexuality if you look at like if you look at like pig pygmy chimps they're this they're the most um peaceful mammal because they can have sex with everybody because they're bank because we just need to become well how about this there wouldn't be any problem would there be any marital problems at all if it was okay to have sex outside of your marriage if that was just a thing that was okay what would really be the uh what would why would anybody get killed why would there ever be a problem if i mean serious if you look back in history anybody that's ever killed their spouse it is always 100 jealousy over someone else if you remove that completely you would have so much so many happy people out there and i don't think the divorce rate might go to a full zero if you allowed people to have sex outside their marriage well maybe homosexuality can solve those homicides because if you ask your woman i've always asked every woman i've been with i've been like would you rather me hook up with a guy or a girl and they always say guy which is weird because then that means i'm gay but women are so jealous of other women that they would rather you go and bang a guy behind their back than a girl so maybe if women are okay with that maybe we should just start banging guys and women just start banging women because at least then we could watch hundred percent everyone wouldn't be jealous i mean i think i just solved marital issues and put a bunch of marital counselors out of business it's what it is yeah go gay i got no farts in me because i got no food in me i'm light-headed you're light-headed cause in 1850 bc egypt developed one of the first spermicides by combining crocodile dung and fermented dough so there you go they have spermicides i mean this is all wet the first rubber condom isn't produced till 1855 but they were [ __ ] had spermicidal lube in 1850 from crocodile [ __ ] so they figured out how to kill sperm they were actually seeking to figure out how to kill sperm that's because they could [ __ ] more that was 1850 bce is that before or after mountain dew because mountain dew killed sperm too yeah bce that's before christmas yeah before before christ i don't know what the e is but it's bc existed oh they changed that oh they changed it that's right yes because we forgot about that because that excluded people who don't believe in christ right right right right before common thank god now what are these sponges oh this is a contraceptive sponge we have up because greeks love sponges if you go down to tarpon springs it's the biggest greek community in the united states where is it florida in florida it's all greeks and they used to go down there and get sponges and sell something yeah i've been there i've actually been there yeah darby springs because my dad just that's where vanessa is gonna go to find a husband she's gonna be sent there by her yaya to find a husband and her yaya is okay with whomever she meets except for except for a few except for a few ethnicities yeah no it's fine yeah it's fine that's fine yeah um tarpon springs it's the biggest greek community in the united states it's really bigger than astoria yeah i'm going to go out on a limb and say that right now it's going to be googled right i think that okay but listen hey we learned something new all every day let's just close up yet because i want to get to the end of this because yes wow [ __ ] stupid kid new york is even on the list planned a manner like here's the plan don't manner because who the hell knows but i'll tell you this about greeks there's not many of us at all right there's not a lot i think there's one million greeks in this entire [ __ ] country so it's hard because you're like hasidic jews it's like there's chance you're [ __ ] your cousin you don't know if you if you continue to keep it within the greek community there's a chance yeah the baby's gonna be born with one eyebrow and that's what it is when you call yourself an inbred it's funny i am an inbred kid i mean who looks like this and is not impressed yeah yeah i look like governor george patterson or david patterson david patterson yeah cause i put my glasses on and look how it frames my eyes and separates them just a little bit just a little bit yeah okay here we go and we would be remiss if we didn't talk about some of the newer words intersex is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male for example a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside but having mostly male typical anatomy on the inside so i'm male typical anatomy on the outside female on the inside you're interested in intersex you know you have an intersex spirit right right because you do have [ __ ] and balls yeah but your spirit your my spirit's rupaul your spirit's a lady man yeah yeah you're 100 yeah your spirit is doing a drag show in thailand because it's very very hard now like when i see like a really hot like 10 out of 10 12 out of 10 gorgeous woman i my first thought now is she's a guy yeah she just enhanced herself through surgery well yeah to me you know yeah it doesn't i mean look that's the great thing about trans women it's like if you're into women that but you don't want to have a baby arista then just you know have sex with a trans woman and then if she's pre-op just pretend like your penis is so big you pop through the other side because solutions i agree i come up with solutions i agree okay you don't like meat [ __ ] eat eat [ __ ] beyond burgers absolutely i agree guy lower your cholesterol trans women lower your cholesterol i was not vegan this weekend politically correct stuff that i'm saying but we're good it's not a politically correct podcast yeah we've never happened because they're gonna be edited out or put on the comic con just throw us some [ __ ] jeans can we break the wish button we're not bringing back zach isis he was bad at his job way zhong it's what it is but the people i've been asking oh uh v wants talking wants to talk real quick about the baby boomer generation which i think we're gonna be in one now the baby because make no mistake i mean what has happened in quarantine is you're gonna have a lot of baby boomers yeah there's going to be a lot of baby boobies i just want to also give a shout out to zach because he's a nice kid listen to scary kids they're good he's a good rapper what is that is that his rapper's group a third kid okay yeah the third kid i mean look the squeak let's just be honest with scary kids yeah zach is beyonce okay the squeak is the other one what was the other one kelly rupp or roland so we got zach as is beyonce the squeak is kelly rowland and the third one is michelle williams the third one you're getting dropped yeah at the end of the day zach guys this is going solo yeah is that guy's gonna go solo what the squeak is gonna [ __ ] join deebo and do bags of jet blue yeah and we yeah it's just what it is so yeah so we're gonna we're coming into a big baby boom and it's going to be very interesting it's going to be very interesting to see nine months so i i guess christmas there's going to be a lot of kids born around christmas time this year because the quarantine kind of started in march we got shut down in march at least in new york so crit you know december january we're gonna have a lot of babes coming into the world yeah and just intersex people are they're very rare but there are people who are born intersex who have both anatomies right but then what do they but would you know like could you be having sex with a person and they're you're actually having on the outside you're having sex with a woman let's say but inside they got a dick and balls no i think they're actually intersex means you're actually born with like both anatomies so it's like somebody's that is intersex i love this [ __ ] meaningless battle over words it's so as if like bad people won't just think of another [ __ ] word bubble wobbles who gives a [ __ ] i'll tell you give the [ __ ] to her special needs has become a pejorative yeah when they say he's special so just just leave language alone let it happen organically because it's russian and chinese dividing and conquering from within i mean anything that's a controversy that isn't really controversy it's russian and chinese i guarantee you even the washington redskins they're the the [ __ ] thing to change their name is coming out of moscow 100 they're [ __ ] winning the war and if we're beating ourselves absolutely and what chris is saying is 100 right and let me just tell you something right now like i said patreon.com bayridgeboyz for all of our uh content on our channel we're gonna conspiracy cuties is our new series the first one we put up on youtube the next one we're doing on the tim dillon show tim dillon is working for the russians and we have [ __ ] gotten to the bottom of it absolutely all right so there there you go so if you're if you're if you're at home pregnant and you're gonna get a c-section please uh uh video it and put on the community board yes at patreon and if you're if you're out there you know if you're pregnant right now congrats um and uh and yeah so we hope you learned something about c-sections and now as we do always at the end of every episode we read the newest members of the matriarchy the people went to patreon.comridgeboys and join the matriarchy to get all our exclusive content and feel part of the family we like to read their names and we always encourage you to make a funny name uh and then you get to be on our list our ppw our pseudo-penis of the week so and let's just give a special shout out to a guy whose voice needs to be heard he complained on the patreon uh we were told about it from venetia and mike who who who they maintain our patreon page and the guy's name i gave him a drexler he which but listen i don't know who won that particular list okay but it must have been someone good but let's give him a shout out because he's right he deserves it van what is it venna antifa vanna and tifa you're one of the best names of all time your name is so good that's what we call venetia now now yeah venetia now has been renamed vena antifa yes so so congrats to you so we're sorry that it might have been a victim of a bad read but your name is venna antifa so congrats yeah it may not have even been me because the kid got angry at me it could have been you gave him a bad read yeah who knows yeah so here we go so let me let me just [ __ ] load these up hold on okay while you load these up i just want to issue a uh disclaimer public service announcement we are sorry as to men that we covered c-sections pregnancy we hope you learned something we're doing it because we're listening we're listening we're listening we've put ourselves on notice and we're listening and we want to learn more about the female anatomy and of course by female we mean anyone who identifies as female not just people who were born with that sex sex and gender are different we are checking all the boxes um and that's right here we go mike is getting a sex change to fulfill our quota absolutely yes absolutely and we have two women on staff because mike identifies as and by the way i want to let everyone know that we have in fact defunded ourselves so we did that out of respect to you guys so we defunded ourselves we defended ourselves but we definitely de-escalated situations de-escalated and defunded i'm christy stefano here we go here we go okay you ready to go yes oh by the way this is yes so this something we want to start this list off and this is uh uh we want to actually encourage people to do this later a really nice idea she bought a patreon as a gift we want people to buy gifts for their honey bubbles so if you've got a honey bubble that you're in love with buy a gift for them patreon uh is a great great gift um and this first one is happy birthday chopped cheese love baby bubbles i love that chopped cheese that's a dominican delicacy from washington heights from the bronx chopped cheese if you're from new york you know what a chopped cheese is and that is a very very nice gift so here we go so that was beautiful and i wanted to say happy birthday chopped cheese love baby bubbles so you call this our baby bubbles so that's a beautiful beautiful thing and we don't if the guy's nickname is chopped cheese it means he's a fat [ __ ] kid from the bronx and baby bubbles is funny and then so that was really nice and then let's yeah and then and then the next name is nikki no dick who sold this piece to the east to help boost the trans fans you know where he goes the ones that don't even make me laugh are so good i'm stunned by them yeah then we got um whitney houston then we got aj covert ruins wait a second wait a second wait whitney houston whitney used to like whitney used it yeah it's no it's not good enough but it's it's okay i don't even know what litany means i thought it was something what does literally mean like lit like lit oh whitney houston [ __ ] drexler like yeah that was my i'm remiss i'm remiss here we go yeah aj kovid ruined seeing chrissy in boston so i got tickets to fly to zanies and dl ruined that it's not meant to be babe okay here we go sorry about that aj gets a drexler just for the fun of that then we got uh fernando uh trazylvinia the second eric pruitt then we got gaiji the guinea goomba uh drexler then we got chrissy brews my cooch because he's an eight-inch moose uh then we got john mike glazer eric kyle calamari aka major mojito way i love kyle carmadi he's gonna get a direction call himself major then we got robert news chubby balls b-a-w-l-z chubby balls is funny but you want to throw him on the dress it's an nit tournament just not getting on the list all right that's an honor chrissy threw you on the list of the drexler drexler then we got a sand monkey with a cut piece and cute feet if we don't condone it but it it it deserves to be on the list okay this one we got it's all caps lock one word i'm going to try to give this as best read as i can i've got no hands and no feet how much will you charge me to beat my meat inventive creative points gets you a drexel but this is a this is a drexler strong list i'm gonna call this [ __ ] list the portland trailblazers this is the portland trailblaze hold on because i i got my alarm went off my alarm to take my birth control went off in the middle of this okay here we go so here we go okay then we got um johnny fumeless aka crum bum shout out to frank rizzo then we got uh jen jens lincovist then we got the rigorous frankie fettuccine uh then we got uh colonel cupcake cracked open cuddling [ __ ] and catching [ __ ] uh he goes on the list then we got mr ic weiner um okay then we got non-toot new york city iron worker brute didn't wear a cover now the safety girl from job is my baby's mother [ __ ] local three rupaul 20 20. yeah i mean that gets on the list then we got uh joseph joseph arkey arch then we got jessie make no mistake cuz i want to tuck it back like lieutenant lollipop chrissy and eat tacos with giannis because that's what we ffs enjoy okay very good dj mizop and we got scarlett villatoro uh then we got keon chrissy please fill my prostate like a three dollar bill till three esprit okay it's more of an offer offer there you go then we got cody ladd matt then we got um uh giannis his wife doesn't wear makeup around me cuomo is a homo i don't know what that means cuomo is a chomo i think he's saying he's trying to say he's banging my wife and he's a republican okay yeah then we got uh call me three dollar bill buckner because i'll spread my legs for your balls i mean on the list that's gonna win call me three dollar bill buckner because i'll spread my legs for your balls so v doesn't bill buckner was the guy who famously let a ball roll through his legs on the boston red sox and the mets won the world series because of it i mean it's over it's a win for him well we'll keep going well it's always nice i feel bad for the people who come after yeah but that's the nature of life sometimes you're lucky sometimes you're not depends on where you're from this is what a clyde drexler means because clyde drexler played in michael jordan shadow so it still means you're good it's just you just weren't as good caleb zeloga mike then it says i'm a factory and chrissy's a re i'm a factory and chrissy is a retired horse i'm going to crack them open and make some glue here we go thank you then we got tony smokes poles through holes when the wife's not home to chinto see i mean let's throw him on the list anyway because the list it doesn't matter to the guy's winning buckner then we got amir perez then we got auschwitz guard 1754. that's what we're moving past that one yeah move it past that one then we got patty i can't catch aids twice conway very funny deserves to be on the list throw him on then we got max werderman m niespo then we got rob french then we got yani p eats olives off chrissy d's feet while beating his greek meat [Laughter] it's on the list then we got henry simpson then we got another random connor sampson christopher make no mistake alexander the great was macedonian plus i'm here because my last daddy was a petty janikowski he just wanted to say that he was macedonian fine he was macedonian [ __ ] then we got my then we got michael schnabel daniel pfeiffer adam lee bowers gabriel on the aves ponce then we got chris lagusta el pedo um then we got willy p not gay but make no mistake chrissy responded to my dm when i was moving the monkey and i came faster um then we got uh emmy up to 10 bucks because i'm a franks and beans [ __ ] i appreciate that thank you matthew j shoals then we got caleb the sperm bank night janitor who took wait caleb the sperm bank night janitor who takes who take show me the extra baba ganoush i don't know about this it's all one word it's tough utah you just you tried too hard then we got juanamore uh then we got salma a no fumes salma a no fume sandra d but make no mistake chrissy d can crack open the middle eastern p praise allah there we go then we got uh my cousin who's a muzzy drinking smoothies with the cuties changing gender like the weather says ladder 14 go [ __ ] yourself i mean that's on the list honestly yeah then we got bluegrass monkey with nuclear fumes daddy says don't vote democrat nuclear fumes is funny very funny i mean it's on the list but they're all gonna lose then we got uh then we got uh keely ravi kanyas jane hooker sam neimer tyler kennedy sid batson kareem abdul fumar wow somebody's giving a run for their money wow kareem abdul famaris get close wow put him on the list we got a game now it's now we've got a game i need a career somebody [ __ ] hit a three with two seconds left and it's tied up yeah then we got uh laney hummy nick then we got maddie the irish cousy to eight off lady hips and the tzatziki sauce monkey swain somebody call me adolf lady drexler then we got yeah yeah guys straight to the back okay then we got lukasz kuzaminski uh shane mccullen then we got cuckin tuck um pixel packet then we got father bill fed me a pill and when i came to i was coated in glue it's on the list uh then we got flap face oh clown feet um frankie max lisa then we got jared not sean alexander uh then we got all day i dreamed about squeaks brian zachary dalton markle steve becoming a non-toot for the daily chance to get a view of chris your yani's glute shoot or glue gun smith drexler glute shoot is funny yeah glitch is a drexler we got dan caulfield uh robbie bobby no doubt swallow rope so babies come out um then we've got king doll is all tanning salon screwed in yep then we got yani marquis de sades ff [ __ ] sock poppas uh then we got austin oderlin dot austin odelin uh then we got hardcore fcf who's heading straight to the back cause i'm just here for the content in the mesh 2020. [Laughter] drexler drexler thomas ryan uh then we got steel pipe chrissy it is what it is issy oscars um then we got um charles mcbride dj then we got tanner my dad evaded my taxes last year so now he calls me by my prison name sweet meat mitchell then last but not least we got greek florida squeak chasing bugs like a fumigator very funny that's all the last one's a drexler i'll give the last two drexlers just because i'm just cause when something's such a clear horse race i'll i'll give them out i'll give them out because they're not winning doesn't matter so but to be clear it's between v who who are two finalists it's between call me three dollar bill buckner because i'll spread my legs for your balls wow and kareem abdul fumar wow look at that it's like a chicken finger because it's between a chicken finger and a creative banger wow it's like what wow can we just give it to both of them or is that how it works here we can do that but that would be i mean i think everyone's on the edge of their seat right now i think this is where we throw to a vote here's the choi here's the here's what you have to think about though yeah bill buckner yeah he's a white guy yeah kareem abdul-jabbar is a black guy so who do you want to side with and what do you want to do right now that's a good point you know what i think we're going to do on this one these two are two of the best names of all time in addition to vena antifa and also there was the sauce what was uh the garlic slicer there's a bunch of there's home runs there's there's a bunch we're gonna get a hall of fame together we're gonna get a hall of fame list but for this one i want to try something different because this is such a [ __ ] neck and neck race we're gonna throw it on patreon and let you vote for it yes and then next week we will let you know who wins based on who you think is better between those two [ __ ] bangers there you go bubbas thank you guys for the ac and i'm [ __ ] dying out here patreon.com slash bay ridge boys um christy comedy.com uh stress factory sold out thank you guys very much for that and then august 29th we'll be adding a show in new jersey in monmouth next to the count basie theater tickets going on sale soon so get ready thank you guys so much for watching we hope you loved it don't forget to click subscribe and turn your alerts on and go to patreon.com for more fun where things get really

Channel: History Hyenas

Views: 33,108

Rating: 4.8693876 out of 5

Keywords: Chris Distefano, chris Distefano comedy, Yannis Pappas, Chris Distefano Podcast, History Hyenas, bayridge boys, comedy, comedian, podcast, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, history, history class, funniest podcasts, true story, chris distefano stand up, c section, c section experience, c section history, history of child birth, child birth, c-section, caesarean section, c section recovery, pregnancy, cesarean section, childbirth, cesarean, labor and delivery, andrew schulz

Id: OAdJdhAlT-A

Length: 64min 37sec (3877 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 22 2020