Bill Burr is WILD!

[Music] [Music] what's up everybody welcome to another episode of history hyenas both of us are here the whole crews here and we got a very special guest all the way from Los Angeles via Basten give it up for one of the funniest guys to ever do stand-up comedy bill burr everybody Boston boss yeah yeah and you said he was gonna be on time he was late yeah I was late yeah yeah sighs German punctual I was also saying historical I eat it yeah oh yeah its history history history and we put an H in it history hyenas yeah but you know what sometimes I call historical to what this is I thought you doing like hysterical and historical we're just a couple ffs what's your set fence yes so start talking shop no [ __ ] faces well yeah the good guess [ __ ] face faces fat [ __ ] for you know for yeah that's good but yeah we'll tell you what it really is off here yeah he's working quick up there he's got ya guys I'm not I suck at the wheel of fortune so I have no idea no because you know what cause the older guys Robert Kelley's and all that they all call you Billy Colin calls you Billy but I [ __ ] bill I'm just immediately noticing I don't know about the chain if it's if it's thick enough to begat warrant that level of confidence yeah more of a necklace yes he is on a fat chick ankle bracelet yeah no I say guy when the chains out yeah when it chains out yeah but he does make a good point it's not really a chain it's more of an ankle bracelet down a big one yeah my kid's mom was like why are you wearing women's jewelry yeah I was like shut up well here's the thing his mom bought him for that and he liked ice ball and then he found it in his room and he put it back on but I'm saying his face it's too much Guido when it comes out oh you know what it is you you've aged past that chain where it becomes a necklace if you're like 18 I get it this is his first one yeah relative bought it for him yeah yeah I don't know why I'm more it just looks like he's hasn't made it in comedy and he's only like he's from Ridgewood and he's going to church that's what church it pulls it out when it's talking is know you care yeah I mean I know from Ridgewood Queens I mean you know I'm the class that means anything to me you got your [ __ ] a bra I'm from Brooklyn if it's over here it's all [ __ ] New York to me you guys all look and sound the same thing yeah yeah I eat heads just like the meatheads I'm up with but you just have different accents they're very similar though Boston New York as far as meatheads that there's a through line of meatheads from here right down from Boston all the way down to Philly yeah it's really the same person it's the sports allegiance and the invisible state lines right and boroughs that keep us separated that's what the man wants that's what yeah they don't want us to get along oh yeah but and it's good and it's like I feel like you know God from Boston Boston sports for suburbs calls us acts but no South Boston wasn't good at math didn't steal cars but still like does it had to get the good will hunting out of the way yeah that was got me yeah but it's good because like my father right old-school New York I and a little bit of a gambler yeah big game yeah lanes the size of the chain yeah it's just yeah yeah they have to [ __ ] sell this puppy feet you losers to spread on the Giants a little bit of missing money out of Chris's bank account it's what it is it's a long story but you know yeah dad he's around now he's [ __ ] got a few days left I bet that's state school money yeah yeah yeah so he his whole theory is he doesn't trust you if you're from a town and you don't root for that town sports team he doesn't trust you even if you're from Boston and you're a Yankees fan he's like yeah I don't [ __ ] care guy I don't want you around me either cuz you're a trader get away from you gross so I feel like you have that vibe like you're that's percent i grill people yeah who are like from Pittsburgh and they're Yankee fans are like I know another guy was from like Florida and he was a Yankee fan this is when the Yankees were on the Jeter you know that that great run in the late 90s early 2000 all of these these it's like wait so where where were you you've grew up in love of my uncle when I was four and he watched go [ __ ] yourself you're not yeah Marlon's yeah those of you team Marlins are the race it's like we were born where you are you're born the color and national you are eat that you can't [ __ ] change it so shut up yeah they never ate but they never touch a never lie something wild they never they never trade up yeah yeah and then I'm sorry they never trade down they always go up it's not like hey I'm from New York and I'm a Browns fan right Joe never goes that way so but when it comes to the Tampa Bay and Miami you're just gonna have some New York fans there just because there's so many New Yorkers down transplants and also you got legends field maybe that's what it is I don't know either yeah I guess really spring training I mean to be honest with you I mean like what are the what besides the Northeast like nobody killed the rest what you mean is any matter what you mean New York now Boston to put the rivalry completely not true but I'm just saying like there's no what's fun about you know what I mean hey or somewhere it's not New York this place sighs yeah we are we're true I go there they don't have the exact food they got his [ __ ] place sucks what I'm saying like for New Yorkers are the worst traveled people ever yeah it's too many songs written about you there's too many people who come here and do amazing [ __ ] and you walk by it you somehow think that you're part of it yeah that's it it's like that Chuck doesn't say this Michael Jordan was born in Brooklyn there you go yeah you don't move yeah that's I mean he didn't grow up there but I'll claim it yeah but it's just cuz the thing about New York's a whole it's like a whole it's been romanticized so much but it's not our [ __ ] fault it's the movies yeah we played you don't do anything you're not even Boston like you say I've worn a suburb another yeah your comics are not even Bridge and Tunnel no no but good booze who's kidding who Sinatra was he couldn't sing he was from Jersey he was joking yeah no no woman on this side of the [ __ ] lake here would bang him nope you're right bridges hanging he wasn't his songs yeah and then that was it then he was in then you claim him after every Yankee game they play some guy from New Jersey yeah that's a good point but you know he'll he rubbed you balls and you're all [ __ ] that's right it is amazing but I mean Frankie's New York yeah it's concrete something let's get a it's so bad yeah but it's so bad it you don't like that song it's horrific I don't love my watching you with you chain out swaying to that and getting choked up yeah I don't like that I want to respect you I really like you as a person I don't want to see you well song comes out I'm telling you man it's one of those things where you know we find it out here in this podcast all the time like a lot of that stuff the New York stuff Frank Sinatra I don't know any of that [ __ ] like my favorite singer is Whitney Houston I remember old school Connie Francis I'm a [ __ ] gay guy Connie Francis is great yeah lipstick on my collar what was your other one uh who's sorry now who's sorry now I know it's still my grandpa who's sorry now she went out banged his friend yeah got him back yep I don't even know who that is lipstick on my collar told your tail on you yeah you know what Connie Francis next thing you know he's gonna say he doesn't know who Freddy fender is and I'm walking out I know who he is he looked like a Kaplan if he was Puerto Rican yeah Oh Mexican I would say yeah no I see I don't even know who's Freddy fenders is your lady fender come on first areas right it looks like mr. Panos Mexican yep looks like Mike's dad a little bit that could be a young picky your dad OPIC of me yeah or you Freddy fender no all those guys they liked they would have you never heard of him when I was a kid and all of a sudden they'd be like you know sessions presents Freddie fenders greatest hits you like who is this guy right hey I'm Slim Whitman Connie Francis all of them maybe just go right through and then you just knew this [ __ ] and then years later you work in a casino like they're there right across the street you go see him you have a great time yeah I said Tony Orlando open for Don Rickles [ __ ] crushed it music Tony Orly yeah I'm even Thai the old oak tree oh yeah I know that back three times on the ceiling if you want me handle it's like Freddy fender actually I don't know any of it was a good look he was a good looking Freddy fender yeah it was like pop music from I don't know the 60s and 70s yes I'm since generational this guy looks like Geraldo Rivera yeah yeah dude he crushed it and he did like a percussion solo with this drummer it was insane mustaches were big in the 70s yeah and you know why they were great and they worked because people weren't trying on a personality that's really who he was as opposed to now if somebody has one it's like a [ __ ] I don't know I write like an ironic thing they're gonna say artisanal at some point that's what we have it we have that it more in New York than then Boston right the mortis what people ulcers like those hipsters people that I love Boston and 95 I have no idea what's going on there he's a New York comic and I don't know where [ __ ] is right new you I'm a Boston in New York Comic Boston I learned how to work big places with a bunch of drunks and here I learned to work little places with very few people in them because it was a low so I did take all this like going on after Kevin knocks over he was hosting the show us to say not going on after him rest his soul and like trying to ride the wave that he created with these [ __ ] drunks and then coming down here and watching like David tell it you know [ __ ] 1:00 in the morning go up in front of eight people and just wake them up after they've just sat through 20 comics so it's both you know the first the first time I saw you was that poke nachus you remember poke knockers donnell rawlings yep yep and then somebody would film you and not tell you and then you'd be on the subway [ __ ] platform and someone have a bootleg let comedy that comedy and you'd be like I gotta see who's on this thing and then you'd see a picture you like great that's me I [ __ ] wear that shirt two days ago yeah yeah Donna would sell your sets he had a fit and then just make money off it was awesome he was a hustler but the I remember the first thing you said when you went up like I had jest started and then I quit for a while but I remember you got up in you got it's good to be back in the old neighborhood huge laugh because it's like that it was in the middle of four it was like you know I said uh bed-stuy sure it spoke not cuz it's down Atlantic if you were if you were white you're either a comedian there a cop or like Jehovah's Witness but Jehovah's Witness or Mormon missionary you see a white guy there it's like he's gonna have a tag on his thing playing handball being lame have you heard about American Jesus you know Joe so bill went up first he says good to be back in the old neighborhood crush that room I did one of my first shots in that room I bombed so bad that was a tough room that I was like I was scared to leave I don't like a lot of times they were waiting for the music that was coming on after it was a lot of people kind of lice or I don't know I was just so white when I would go up in those rooms a lot of times so you kind of had to address it you know you gave him what they wanted yeah oh gee I'm scared to be here and then here's my act yeah so you just had to establish you a funny real quick and then go into your right and if you bomb Donnell would ruin you when he got back up all he did was talk about the set like I remember one guy wasn't personal cuz he was there you will you know he was making it fun he was making it would be held hilarious for everybody else but I imagine it'd be mortifying for whoever bummed I remember talents outro when you when you [ __ ] bombed no maybe I come on y'all comedy ain't for everybody I got the comedy ain't for everybody outro I remember I Bob so been a Rob Stapleton and we'll sylvans to show that at one point they got back up and they tried to be cool about it and then a joke didn't work that one of them told me like hey y'all better be cool will bring Janos back up here yeah it was mispronounced my neighbor bingo neo Pierre that you can't get they'll never get your name right at a black show now I've been yoni Yan piss you napus the worst my reign is the worst idea ever the angel Salazar never ate you know angel Salazar yeah I mean yeah so he's a big God not Scarface following cuz he was in that move Holly toes way too Carlito's Way yeah so anyway it's all Mafia guys don't wanna be Muffy guys and I was at this place it was called like scungilli s or something like that's a good story yeah and it's uh and I was opening for him and [ __ ] eating it and said something to some guy's wife accidentally I guess and um the guy grabbed me after the show and put a knife to my throat and he was like how about I caught you [ __ ] Adam's apple out mother and I was like holy you know I didn't know what to do and then the owner of the place who was another mob guy grabbed him and once I get the [ __ ] out of here what are you doing blah blah blah blah and he was like that guy's a [ __ ] wannabe I apologize and then he took me like out some back door and I was supposed to make like whatever 50 bucks he gave me like five hundred dollars in cash he was like just don't tell anybody what happened get out of here yeah it just gave me 500 in cash hey my ex you had a good time tonight yeah yeah a great time hey my ex the spaghetti was good that glad pull up driving the [ __ ] city bus Chris get on I don't want to go on yeah yeah no it was he's the Good Will Hunting of Ridgewood Queens yeah he made it out care yeah Ridgewood Queens one of those neighborhood saw cops firefighters and then he's he does skits he might do my skits and I went to school and play ball and all that stuff yeah Division 3 Division 3 Hall of Fame school it's amazing amazing feat Division 3 Hall of Fame white guy is is Division 2 Hall of Fame black guy I would say yeah yeah I could just shoot I could shoot like white guys but I could really just shoot threes and I had a coach at the time who had a drinking problem who didn't who kind of would just be hungover it would actually worked out great for me was hungover her coaching all the games and he didn't care there was no offense it was just like listen just whatever Chris wants to do just let him do where's like so I could you know I was 19 from freshman sophomore so exact like an idiot also doing a couple cycles of winstrol I was on winstrol at the time yeah I did a cycle it's what are you gonna do yeah so all those steroids so thank you yeah yeah that was yeah yeah saris for basketball yes just you can move I mean I could just you know I could like tomahawk dunk I just like an ass being an athlete basketball was such a huge part of my life that my friends you know when I do comedy if they write you know do something with comedy my friends from weight you couldn't dunk and then you took roids and then you could no I always could I always could well I couldn't always I started being able to dunk when I was like 16 I get to winstrol once for like six weeks so was a small part of it it did a cycle I did a cycle this yeah just one cycle yeah happens and to be honest with you when I did that cycle I was my junior year in college it was my worst year because I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and all [ __ ] from your balls you can go between the legs a little easier that yeah but I it was just the way to communicate I felt at Division three I gotta get on roids any I need a competitive edge here we got a beat LaSalle Academy next week yeah we got we got Catholic coming in well no what happened was the reason why I took him actually is because in the summer of my sophomore year going into my junior year I would got went played ball in some men's leagues in the city and got with a coke a clubs nowadays yes in Chelsea and I am and I just did well in one of them and I was getting recruited by like Stony Brook but fairleigh dickenson Lodi won but it was still enough for I was like oh maybe I so I you know fairleigh dickenson you have Lodi like a [ __ ] writer yeah it's--that's-- school in Jersey it is a I think it was a writer probably yeah yeah it's in Jersey right it's in Jersey but I was actually at Wharton wanted big actually interest you did fairleigh dickenson with Don now on the Chappelle show tour I came with Donnell and I was in it was when Mitch Hedberg died and it was one of your laughs died in Jersey too right Hotel in Jersey so all my stress factory maybe miss Hedberg did too yeah I came in agree with the guys died if I know yeah we were talking about that before no I'm signed up in Jersey kids yeah Damon's catch up to you yeah Jersey's a specific thing yeah nothing yeah but you know I'm about I'm about one year away from just trying to go to Jersey and become a king of Jersey yo God Jersey used to be the state in the [ __ ] art the Garden State they call it the Garden State cuz it was like it's like a full well that but it was also in colonial times the American and the British would fight for Jersey oh that's what the war was whoever wins Jersey gets can feed the troops could spoil the gardens were they were fighting all the vegetables for one day for rich wants to be able to do comedy that's what it is yeah for a town house yeah but the guarded steak I I'm I'm about I'm about a couple thousand views away if I don't get on my special I'm putting that wig back on I'm going to Long Island and I'm just gonna do dossett's and I don't know why you ever quit that I don't know why you did either that was a great character I get half my money up front just go in and be like hey you know I'll be smoking cigarettes I'd be like look I'll give you 5.6 but I want half my money up front and then you know I'm doing Ford for 14 minutes and that's what the contract said yeah and that's it holy [ __ ] I said that's it give them what they want and then I'm out the back door I don't know why I don't know why you wouldn't and just buy a big-ass [ __ ] house in New Jersey that's what I'm gonna do hang out by the pool yeah yeah or even have on this podcast just like we're making an already difficult business more difficult because I because it was it was so specific to New York and Miami that's the only place that could sell tickets and you know Oh was that Ritz Cubans and Puerto Ricans for the most part and gay people love but even that being able to sell in Nice in those cities its millions of people I did it well I had a TV show Miami for a year on fusion and I yeah it was nothing TV show nothing Network but I was a big fish in a small pond for about six months yeah but that's Miami in New York of big they were pretty big huge and boss he could sell but there's so many Puerto Ricans but it's like Christopher Reeves nobody recognized me about the wig so I could walk around so great except one time one thug was like this is this was this is early on I was like sitting having lunch and some dude with like teardrop tattoos he was staring at me and I was like I cried like you know I was nervous I was like he was like yo he said yo man he was like ass [ __ ] yeah as the waitress was coming over she just saw some big jail looking dude calling me ask [ __ ] probably my guy [ __ ] this guy in jail remember my kids my kids my kids a grandmother yeah what's like oh my god you know Yanis could you sign my ashtray yeah his baby's mom was Puerto Rican and her mom was like oh my god you friends with Marissa can you sign this ashtray for me it's a sign his ashtray actually want me love yes yeah it moved people like nothing well you're gonna bring it back yeah I'm going I'm gonna go full-time become her you gotta wait long look at hootie and the blowfish whoever knew if they got back together they'd sell out Madison Square Garden did one of my favorite bands you gotta wait yeah and you got to get you got away to the peak we want want it back you want it back and then you go out there I don't think anyone's clamoring for you they might and you do Governors yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll stop everybody time by should have them come out for our show yeah Oh which by the way November 8th the stand live history on Hina's sold out we just added November 9th the Gramercy Theater midnight tickets are on sale right now going to go to our website or the links are it's on patreon libs you've got a bottom out first to the point I'm close so I'm sort of like addiction that when you come back to do the character again you don't really quite look like you anymore and you're older you got to add that sad element to it yeah well it's kind of like that now because with Ino now at towards the end he was just he wouldn't shave anymore he was just kind of half-ass it with the wig on and it kind of looked he was mentioned how funny it looked yeah because he used to be real seriously I used to show you when you do a character's I liked it like a guy with a puppet where you start [ __ ] hate in the puppet do you start hating the wig after a while you know I don't live in some twilight zone and the [ __ ] wig it starts talking to you yeah you just see me in that movie we ain't nothing without me nobody buys let me be honest yeah you want you yeah they won't you wear nothing we help me yeah it's kind of a little I never got that I know comics would always ask me and they'd say hey are you sick of doing it I was like no it's so fun you know I think you felt if I didn't [ __ ] question are you sick of what selling tickets oh well people [ __ ] do that all the time they hate I God will do that me as a Patriots fan you got to be sick of all these Super Bowls no yeah it's gonna end one day I want to enjoy all of them yeah yeah no I didn't I didn't uh I didn't resent it or hate it for a while it was so much fun it was such a fun show doing it live because women would go crazy they would go and it's fun to be in that character and just say wild [ __ ] I would say the funnest thing was like making straight guys uncomfortable in the audience I mean I would suck that look at him hardly sure are you a cop a firefighter I didn't know a hero was then and then just watching them kind of squirm yeah you stupid man try to get away yo man Wow boy with their girls and their girls were loving it and it was just fun to [ __ ] with people like that the best the best is the guy why would you give up that level of fun there's nothing worse than [ __ ] and we're gonna better I'm sorry than make us somebody tickets we're never dying down no they start dying even in New York they start dying behind félicité you don't need that's right it was still don't go good this guy no instinct yeah this thing that's working I'm not doing it anymore and then you're gonna hire the tickets booked [ __ ] man nah now want oh yeah yeah no II didn't like it everyone was offended yeah I started to beat a woman with the wig it's not coming back the wig took me took over who I was yeah it was alright well we're not gonna talk you back into your golden flower pony here no yeah it's like I think you know well just put it in tonight hyenas done yes I got a movie idea yeah so it you get sick and [ __ ] trying to talk him back into the dream okay some chick breaks up with you something happens to you you come home and you're mad and for whatever [ __ ] reason you see the wig and then you start doing it and you start making all the [ __ ] money and one day he runs into you like Chris what the [ __ ] that's great yeah and then I don't I can never get a movie past the [ __ ] mid second act yeah is that the first 10 pages I don't know what it is could you be like in it and you're like the UM like the mick the manager who's telling him to take the wig you do it like if he's not gonna do it and I have this deep dark secret you never know what it is and you find out later that I used to had the same thing happen to me yeah and I started wearing a wig cuz I lost my hair and then you just like you got one more in you and I say yeah and then we go we [ __ ] take him down yeah and in the end I opened for you with my wig and then I loved it yeah we call it wig and he's in comedy look Oh third act is the hardest to land one dream two wigs what we call three to us it's two wigs there's first wigs first we're then you set up for the trilogy yeah first wigs yeah it's almost like um for a hustler it's like the hustler and then what was the what was the follow-up movie with um come on all there are money almost like cuddle money yeah a little bit that's a good name color money is one of the most underrated Scorsese movies of all time I love color money I didn't even know he did that one yeah a lot of people don't I love that rock I'm up for mr. Fast Eddie that's what it is yeah now Bill's got a special out right now on a Netflix called fast Billy it's called fast Billy it's called Billy Boston it's called he's a New York comic no it's it's called paper tiger I watched it it's another pen so another bang gasps always a ten yeah so you a lot of you prepare you guys well you did yeah as much Ivano the wigs not working for always always a ten unbelievable inspiring inspiring wiggly wiggly listen I got the bear of the movie but I probably can't say what for the wig movie say it I got the name for it do it can I just say it do a keychain out say it say there you go nose is bigger yeah yeah that's my friend it's my friend Pam oh Rudy he hasn't beaten City he's gone I apologize I just said it's couple firefighters yeah it does amazing character piece the chain was out now it's back in apologize I love paper tiger he's a guy he's from Ridgewood Queens a paper tiger cuts the chains back it's right here it's paper time yeah here it's paper tiger yeah great great arm great skin yeah it's a good sketch go watch Bill skit on Netflix eels one of the bet well no yes I know you get it a thousand times and you're probably he's not gonna react well to it cuz he's a boss oh but it's all honest like I remember watching herbs so his HBO half-hour and I've saw it must have been 2008-2009 whenever it came out or maybe I'd watch five so I watched it later then it was like I was like oh he had a lot of hair I mean it was just [ __ ] hilarious so it's like I wanted for now I want to do with this guy I want to try this yeah then I didn't get the balls to do it but it was it so you're almost all the guys my age I could do that you know what I'll do my jail party was eyeing that White Castle I could [ __ ] do it I was actually sitting in Staten Island [ __ ] so it's like the place of people that talk like that you know that Ida this guy's good that's what stand-up is everyone thinks that I think they'll watch when someone's that good at comedy they make it look like a guy sitting there going like you I can [ __ ] do skits there's a lot of people who could it's but you have to figure out how to get across from whatever you're doing with your friend you got to figure out how to is like this you just think it's like oh I'll just [ __ ] do it I didn't make it my friends laugh at that at the cafeteria but then you go up there and it's just everybody okay now yeah so that's just that once you get past that then you can yeah I'm trying to encourage more people I want more stand-up special that's who we need more specials at this point yes everyone's a comedian at this point but you know what dislike I was always a funny kid like I was always um like class clown and stuff like that but then I was really like shy of the stage like you know like age for you to bring out I started seeing a therapist or we know you started put on a wig I hid behind character and you put on your you put on your mother stockings and jerk like my mother's talking's when I was a kid and jerked off that's something that just said please tell me that now you think that you're enough I'm enough now you don't need the way sometimes sometimes a little always wanted to see honestly you wouldn't show her to us but you know what Chris was funny like a couple of years in he was killing it and it was because he was truly funny so I think some people are just like born for this [ __ ] know some people are naturals and other people you see them working yeah put on a [ __ ] wig I gotta put a dress on and I gotta really punch the back get in the gym you gotta watch with Yanis cuz Yanis will take this home oh well it takes up yeah working oh yeah no I'll put a gun in my mouth and end it no matter why the letter saying that pressure we put it on you we can have a great day today we'll do a hangout all day with this one one second of the day I get he's gonna text me about this tomorrow night never to say when you disagree with your wife just to [ __ ] try to get your hand on top of the bat for you I will put a gun in my mouth yeah this doesn't go the way I want to I will kill myself and write a note saying my wife just didn't do it and I will pull the trigger in your favorite room I will do it oh yeah Oh favorite room I will splatter my brains all over all over your favorite candle whatever you memorabilia is yeah I'll do it over your food skill yeah now I'm gonna get in trouble yeah you're gonna cific to mrs. Pappas and you're an idiot now I'm in trouble yeah she's not gonna care who the guest is she's gonna be like what the [ __ ] did you yelling at my she's half Spartan half Sicilian she seems calm and mellow until you do something wrong yeah and then it's just we gotta get that out make a no-bake and know that it's one of the first times you have to edit out something Jana said it not me yes that out again sorry or cackle it if you blow your brains out in your wife's [ __ ] walk-in closet awake at the wake that wasn't your fault just feel like it was spiteful yeah it was angry that's how angry he was that would be the funniest [ __ ] ever it would be be like you know yeah that would be a way to win an argument yeah yeah you guys haven't seen that movie it it what's it called the nice guys no nobody's I seen it might seem ah [ __ ] love that movie crow Russell Crowe and Gosling Ryan Gosling what's it about cute kid Ryan Gosling's just huge dance I don't know I don't know how to describe it cebause to private investigators subdued they are so [ __ ] funny and it's there's a great line in that movie yeah so comedy it's Ryan Gosling where he goes was he say he said uh marriage is buying a house for someone you hate don't ever forget that that's funny right as I said that I was like wait did they steal that from somebody they did that was from that movie yeah this isn't whatever I just I just made all you listeners not want to see that [ __ ] movie because of my horrible delivery of that I'm telling you those two guys are [ __ ] it's a clinic you've seen it it is aclinic on comedy how how funny those two [ __ ] guys are you know third act gets a little wobbly you know but so did stripes all of a sudden they're in the RV and they're shooting machine guns like yeah [ __ ] am i watch it now but that's such a great comedy movie yeah that's an underrated one there's a lot of underrated comedies you know what to what you know what I think is one of the most underrated comedies um life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence you ever see that dude the premise of that too was so so good right I just wish that they went a little more dramatic where it was just like these two guys that was spending their life in jail their friendship I mean that that thing however you did cuz it was a hilarious movie but if they wanted to with those two guys in it you could have got an Oscar out of that movie yeah they never give up could've they before walk culture I don't see culture yeah well you know it's a great movie Shrek you ever seen Shrek yeah that movie's [ __ ] hilarious - Shrek was a good movie but life's underrated boom rings also another on the rate of moving one of my favorite of all time Midnight Run thank you Midnight Run but that's not rated people know he brings people of Pope of Greenwich Village all the [ __ ] mob movies Italian movies that came out that one people miss a couple Mickey Rourke ones uh was an angel heart another underrated one I don't I don't remember I remember Mickey Rourke only from that one with Cape it based injuring well you could see her titties a little bit remember that woman that steamy one that was nine and a half weeks nine 1/2 weeks that was like that was like softcore porn you want to watch not saying it wasn't great I'm telling Pope of Greenwich Village Angel Heart barfly Pope credulous popular The Wrestler the restlessly the rest I saw good one I saw Papa graphics charisma does he have when he's behind the [ __ ] the deli ding unbelievable that movie we he was so perfectly cast police say they're spring chicken yeah Chuck see old lady yeah here we go coming up top yeah unbelievable perfect movie still working a crowd as a rest you know but today before I went out to do all this be [ __ ] media boy here I watched I watched that [ __ ] cage match between the Undertaker and mankind dude that is when mankind is on the [ __ ] stretcher and they taken him out and you think it's the end of the match when he [ __ ] slowly gets back up he gets me every time I always forget that he get that that's where he gets when he gets the [ __ ] back up and slowly goes from a walk to a run and has that maniacal smile it's some of the greatest performing of all [ __ ] time I think anyways though is that when he jumped off the top of the cage we're gonna throw him off at the top it was like 16 feet up and he just landed on this [ __ ] table and that money feet I don't know he chokes laying him on top and he when he Lambie he wasn't meant to go through what he went through we know Mike he knows about it Mike's a big wrestling guy yeah he wasn't yeah they didn't think but when they were walking on it at first one of the just their legs went through yeah like the two of them were like easily 600 pounds on this cage fell in the south wrestlers like they combined like comedy acting athleticism and it gets a bad rap I'll tell ya I know it's a bad rap halfway through it they cut out and they show me a Trump commercial it's just I didn't vote for this [ __ ] guy I can still appreciate this [ __ ] yeah yeah these guys are but I think Ric Flair probably one of the greatest American entertainers of all time one of the greatest comedians of all time so good oh yeah you said he's like Trump Trump's later Trump's like if real Flair was president my favorite thing whoa after every ever talked about doing his interviews as they said uh somebody asked him like do you have writers D blah blah he goes right as he goes because I used to make up half that [ __ ] on the car ride over from the airport and he was just [ __ ] crush and beers natural well they asked him the doctor what did the doctor was just like how many drinks do you have a week he goes how many drinks heavily because I drink a case of beer every day so these guys would just would just [ __ ] pound they're unbelievable yeah he's a natural he um he would make it his watching performs like slapstick a little bit remember when he did like get hit and he would he would overdo it but it was so funny yeah the flare struck the flare flop the other chop yeah oh my god some guys in natural men like Jackie Gleason they say like he used to drink like three bottles of scotch before he went on stage and then like 20 steaks he didn't care there there we go dump them up but I wonder if he said throw me I think he did he had to have I mean you can't just throw a guy off like yeah that's like attempted murder yeah and what's great is he lands on a table and he's dressed like he's in an office so the whole thing just [ __ ] works there's Undertaker jump off then eventually now he [ __ ] ends up climbing back up he goes on this I don't ruin [ __ ] chokeslams him on the top of it and like threw him down like he wasn't gonna go through the top of it and he did so he already had the velocity of that I don't know dude when he lands it's just like some internal or organ just exploded now the mic when they do this they have an outline and then they just improv it a little bit it depends on the wrestler usually they the veteran wrestler who calls the spots and they'll say but that one was like he's a throw me or something like that and he had a [ __ ] man he had a bag full of like he had gone through all of them had a bag full of [ __ ] tacks throws it down on the ground and he got back slammed into it and then chokeslam and he gets up and you see them sticking out of his and I remember it's like somebody took a shotgun of tacks and shot him in the back he don't know his credible his talent was being able to take a beating he took a beating like a drunk Irish kid you know what I opened four months of kids never go down and you know what he says hello he stopped his beaten greet was like another two and a half hours after like he's talked to every single person gave every single person like five minutes of his time yeah at Caroline's now he does stand-up which is hello that's why I perform at Caroline's a few years ago yeah and it's just without even the sound it's [ __ ] hilarious I never chain that's a change yeah I mean he's the best number one so committed like Phil Hartman of wrestling the Baptist school this is the greatest thing about the internet because I missed this guy when he came up he wrestled down south he's out of breath from yelling yeah he's so locked on the camera these are the real ones yeah go down a rabbit yeah yeah yeah and since it's gonna make me feel like you know they're people hey watch paper tiger it's not half as funny as Ric Flair yeah Ramos Ric Flair is he's the he's the goat he I would say he's the undisputable goat like huh not the best Rest he gotta go Shawn Michaels for best wrestling now yeah dig Shawn Michaels a lot of people think Shawn Michaels I was just as far as funniest promos ever I would it goes I would say Ric Flair for the the old school and the new school was the rock the rock Rosasco was on he was humble about Roddy Piper doll he's a yeah I mean all of those guys mr. wonderful I liked all of those guys Dusty Rhodes good yeah yeah the Iron Sheik was hilarious just because it was we were at war with are gonna be at war with Iran or whatever and he just would come out there with the [ __ ] Iranian flag just making those rednecks lose their [ __ ] minds yeah I don't I just loved I just there yeah I don't know all the heels just going out there and just pissing everybody off like as a comedian you can learn so much watching those it's true how come they never did like a like they should have done like a Boston New York tag-team rivalry that would have been nice like yeah guys come out with Boston [ __ ] hats and then the other guys come out well Yankees and they're all for meat heads and their [ __ ] rivals yeah no you got to keep those worlds like separate then it would I don't know I would just become I don't know it feels like the Boston New York rivalry is just not as it was when we were kids anymore though you know like it's changed its completely over right I'm actually like rooting for the Yankees to win this round because I want to see them go off gonna stroke Astros cuz I want to see great baseball hell yeah so an L so the thing is like if you're if you're still walking around as a Red Sox fan hating the Yankees are paying attention to them that makes Yankee fit like if your rival knows you're mad if their success than their yeah winning so it's like you know we kind of got it all at once and it's just like so I'm kind of happy so I just want to I want to see Extra Innings yeah Yankees Astros I'll admit yeah this I was rooting for the Patriots for time to get another one which felt weird for me I have no problem with the Patriots because there's such a winning team and I'm a Giants fan I hate the Cowboys more than a the Patriots the Red Sox are the ones that are like yeah it's hard to root for them but even now I'm like I agree I'm like I just don't care anymore so I don't watch a good game I just know it's it it was like you know it was like a Hollywood ending these guys are just bullying you shoving your face in the [ __ ] they go down oh three and then like the wrestler you know they drop the hand the last time and he [ __ ] comes up and wins the thing I mean that's what people were we don't remember we beat the Cardinals yeah I think it was Keith folk flipped it to uh what's-his-face their man cave itch I think that's what it was but I mean but I vividly remember that whole [ __ ] series and John the grace the grounder gone Damon hitting the I remember where was I was in the car was pitching some [ __ ] show that never went and I was driving up Universal cuz that was the closest bar I could get to pitched right there yeah it was it like at theme park and I was driving up screaming yeah because it was so it was so [ __ ] cuz it was a grand slam and it was totally quiet cuz it was in Yankee Stadium I gather there's a high fly ball way back that's a home run or something like that and then the crowd was dead quiet and I was just like just losing it yeah my mind and when they brought Pedro in in that game in Game seven when he came in from it you guys started hitting I had to walk out of the bar I mean it was [ __ ] bananas and then I just look at last year when we played you guys I wasn't like you know I believed we were gonna win it the whole thing just chased the whole thing changed and I'm happy that it changed cuz I don't you know Michael I'm my father my father's you know 75 years old die hard New York Yankees fan like born and raised in the Bronx I was just with him this weekend and um I was like oh you know you watching Yankees twins he goes oh I forgot that was on tonight I'm like what what do you mean you forgot to playoff game he was like I'm just honestly Chris he's like baseball's gotten to a point now where I just it doesn't do anything for me anymore I was like hey you're my dad you're yay he's like I just don't like the game I think it's way too slow for me they got it they got a 75 years old way too slow for you every sport has this amazing it's like I was like he was like yeah it was like I swear to God my father's like you know I'm yeah I'm on the phone he's like you know these guys come in they take their time warming up I'm like but that's what it was for you your whole life he's like I know but I just there's too many things like you know I got a grandkid now I don't know I don't I don't care anymore I got me honest I fight that yeah and I think the reason why I continue to pay attention is just being a comedian you have to know like what's going on out there right so I got to kind of pay attention to pop music sports I got to kind of know what's going on so I'm not up there with like old references or [ __ ] that people don't understand but like I went to I went to the Patriots I was down in DC so I went to the Patriots Redskins game yesterday and it like the the music and [ __ ] that they were pumping in was too [ __ ] loud yeah when I went to Brooklyn it was just too loud and and the thing is I forgot my earplugs I literally bring earplugs it's that [ __ ] because my ears adjunct from listening to loud music playing drums and [ __ ] and it's so [ __ ] than the worse of franchises the louder the music is the more they're trying to fill up they're trying to create an atmosphere when like the Redskins you know unfortunately are oh and forfor Redskins fans it's just I don't know so III I understand like I miss powerhouse teams and I just like like this parity thing you have a powerhouse team but that's what's so amazing during this non powerhouse time when anybody could win it who knows who's good anymore right right like that's why no one's gonna go like I don't think anybody goes undefeated again because you're back in the day it was just dynasty dynasty dynasty dynasty dynasty you got the players you could [ __ ] hold on to him and then you just kick the [ __ ] out of people for half a decade or like a decade and I was when I was talking to somebody's going you know why Boston is such like a intensive sports thing it was because the biggest rivalry in baseball was the Boston Red Sox first New York Yankees biggest in hockey Boston Bruins first of Canadians biggest in basketball Boston Celtics LA Lakers it was always like these epic [ __ ] Wars which we used to always lose other than the Celtics and then but then I went to like you know what the Patriots are doing right now we don't have of arrival no it was like for a minute it was the stealer cult or the cult yeah and then the Steelers hate us more than we hate them because they've never beaten us in a significant game except one time they beat us and they got a [ __ ] call I was a little bit with the joy yeah it's a little bit and then the Giants when the split second one had to come along right and then that was just like I [ __ ] we lost to him again but then bang they bang they won another three yeah so like on a giant fan gives me [ __ ] it's just like yeah man you own us to a - but we then won six so wouldn't you take that I'll take those two losses and the Eagles loss yeah I don't give a [ __ ] you know and I'm the same way hunt but if you keep pushing my buttons I'm gonna say we have more Super Bowl rings than you the Jets and the bills all three New York teams combined I don't in the same way do it no do it don't let it out that let it out it's okay it's the same thing that was I know you're hiding it yeah it's the same thing that we say with Red Sox fans they're like oh we won the last templates again but the Yankees are the egg yeah I would say when you guys did that right that was like when Trump went on Twitter and Obama went on The Tonight Show where it's just like you're better than this the office is better than this the fact that you guys when we finally won right the first one in like [ __ ] a hundred years took the time to make twenty six to sixty shirts that was you guys were better than that but yeah the fun of it though no no cuz that what that is is that's being petty that's being Real Housewife e where you should have just been like ah you know what congratulations you got one and shaked it off like it was nothing like you were sitting on 26 we knew you had 26 yeah good idea we got 2056 ears it was really bad I actually saw a Red Sox fan tweet something caddy to Yankee fans and I was just like yeah you just made it's like you just you made that day you made their day that they know that you still think of you guys half of your [ __ ] identity not half but a major portion of the identity was our misery sure and then that went away and you're like thank you biased uh I disagree you do I think I think we weren't thinking about you guys that much I think bald oh no not back then I mean now to know that a Red Sox fan still gives a [ __ ] that the fact that we're team isn't even in it is going like hey you went you win a you know what you won that game but blob we'll be talking about some other [ __ ] yeah yeah I get that like you guys never even like like like what I always say is to Red Sox fans like if you do that all you're shown is that you still give a [ __ ] that's a good point yeah cuz you can just sit there be like oh hey you know congratulate if you just sit - hey man we made the playoffs this year and you didn't it's like yeah you know we kinda had like the hangover from last year and I never bring up that we just beat you last year yeah I don't bring myself down to that and I just [ __ ] it oh you're classy like that but no I don't I don't you're also too happy with your life Red Sox fans are all great life you can't wear Yankee hat no but it's an Isis t-shirt they're not really anymore I love that this is going on like this not enough cameras in here that we then else I'll have to have that going on yeah it's trim yeah oh this is like a moment she's well yeah what can we do - baseball volunteer to get a pumped up and dope what should we do which we do then it just ended it ended off for two reasons one we finally won and then two we're never gonna catch you right like I would have to live to beat like [ __ ] 400 years old and you guys would have to suck for four centuries with all the teams all the free agency all the [ __ ] yeah to try to I don't know how many we're behind in the teens sure yeah jeans dude yeah it's like this there's entire franchise 90% of franchises probably 99% of franchise had never even won in the teens and that's how many we're behind you so it's like there's nothing to get like right like oh [ __ ] you know we went one more now we now we got 10 17 more to go remember where it really started from it's kind of you know those are the two like Chris makes a good point let's be honest New York and Boston are the are the two American cities that's where it started it's like original sin it's cuz the original two cities that are mad yeah [ __ ] Virginia everything that happened down yeah [ __ ] those guys no now that's Horton Cole we always see that the way he [ __ ] looks at history man it's [ __ ] hilarious I'm a New York first you know I'm like what is it I'm like Trump is like America first [ __ ] China I'm New York first I go New York first I'm New York first two people always like I how could you lose and that's it's like cuz it's the New York team yeah I'm for the New York team's first yeah let those guys down to Florida looking for the Fountain of Youth you don't count that no there was a dealer what can you imagine how many [ __ ] alligators were there when they'd shoot loafers stepped on the beach absolutely yeah yeah they lost Spanish that was Spanish influence out west was Spanish you got to give a little the British one we're speaking English so New York Boston and that's where like and the bosses and huntress started you know the Boston accent we talked about this is the original living off that victory way back then yeah yeah yeah Battle of Brooklyn decisive yeah but your accent your Boston Bostonian accent even though I know it's not as pronounced that's as you probably said that's what Americans sounded like in the Revolutionary War that's what the accents the closest the closest maniacs I did a lot of research yes went on YouTube when you listen to audio clips from the Revolutionary War no and I read a book I read a book 1776 David McCullough guy [ __ ] good author bill let me tell you I read all these history books like a [ __ ] my friends think I'm gay I think I found you tick when you live for some reason like this side of your body got all stiff night I read this I read this fun I read the book you look at Jack I'll give you that I got potato about a week no but you wouldn't know he's got a PhD in physical therapy he's a smart kid he doesn't look it buddy smart Kinnison don't try to insult him through me I'm not I'm just saying that I didn't think he was a smart guy I could tell by the sky to all his [ __ ] issues on him I got a smart guy I'm nurse I don't know that I'm humble I'm a [ __ ] jerk I had a German mother and it was just about you're not gonna end up like your father so this it was an over correct I was over corrected with school yeah it's like it was also directed like a fox yeah yeah I hate people use that expression so I just want to be a jerk you guys are [ __ ] and as you know we're brought to you as always by our nan to original [ __ ] old G loyal sponsors we love you guys very much lakeside maple this is the official trail mix company of history hyenas go to lakeside maple calm type in while to give 15% off your order kids screwed in it's a beautiful thing to sprinkle it on your yogurt put it in your ass whatever you want to do with it yeah that's what I do yeah that's what it is and we're also brought to you by our newest sponsor say drah oz easy kids the GI doctor with a youtube channel yeah it is wild yeah alright if yours what's his YouTube channel yes YouTube channel is Sandra Dee's yeah let's jump short let's jot your soul [ __ ] yes what's the [ __ ] YouTube challenge it's a GI doctor he looks wild yeah he's dr. souls on Instagram and YouTube podcast checking out kids of sneakerheads and he does all types of other goofy medical education invites video take a look at you god yeah you got you guys have to check out dr. Souls because look at this kid is wild brought you as always by our favorite Auto Collision company out there on the island six three one three five one five three hundred you know what it is nice Street Auto Collision their family business been doing it over 20 years now it's 21 years it's what it is it's what it is cuz they've been a [ __ ] sponsor for yeah they got a [ __ ] good deal yeah they'll cut they'll crack your car open and clean it out they work with all insurance companies and they do towing too if you go see him make a video you know how will they support these guys we're brought to you as always by our favorite CBD company CBD scrip it's premium CBD oils cuz they're also out on the island and CBDs great for anxiety depression arthritis back pain epilepsy autism I like how they put our put autism on there we do not support that okay we're not doctors although Chris is a doctor yeah I'm a doctor he's a doctor to do this I'm telling you it works for this is it work I almost feel guilty reading that cuz like that's pretty [ __ ] intense for them to put that in the copy yeah well I mean whatever they said it not us yeah well I usually don't go into the details because I mean look how [ __ ] long ago you only given us 100 bucks you're lucky we're still [ __ ] doing this yeah CBD script senator sounds of patriarch members were ending it weird man it just made an executive decision of stupid use promo code hi heinous 15 to get 15% off your total order at CBD script calm guys support our sponsors make a video put it in your stories let us see that you're buying from them somebody bought lakeside maple we appreciate it also nutrition fun okay yeah yeah I mean it can't meet between me and this kid we got a normal set of eyes yeah give it up for Matt Koch everybody go to nutrition made fun on Instagram he's got an exclusive deal for hyena fans you can go to our Instagram I posted his video on there so you can see what that discount is for hanging a fans it's called he called it the FF workout it's great I mean it's a ten and we know a lot of our fans [ __ ] need it so go and do it and we're also brought to you as always by a healthy smile family and cosmetic dentistry that is a healthy happy smile calm you can follow me on instagram at a healthy smile Rock Hill so check it out dr. Harvey Spencer jr. we love you cuz that's it guy and listen the biggest news November a New York Comedy Club at the stand it's sold out we're going on that show we're going to be doing the history of prohibition history lesson right nope what do we say that we're gonna tell them yeah just say what I can say it's probably gonna be something to do with firefighters cuz you know who's gonna be there as well as Terry patch Mario Diaco vembur 9th November 9th the only one that has tickets left midnight November 9 so technically going into November 10th but you get there at 11:30 on November 9th Gramercy Theater Gramercy Theatre the link is live right now on our patreon on our twitter on history heinous com wherever you go on our Instagram on our social networks everywhere Gramercy Theatre near a comedy festival midnight November 9th live history hyenas that's right yeah we're gonna say we say or we're not we're not it we haven't announced that topic yet either but we will now cuz we're goin [ __ ] live these are our first shows for the New York Comedy Festival you guys are coming out we're gonna have a party the whole crew is gonna be there yeah mic emoji face Zak Isis the Greek piece vintage yeah there's only one person who's not gonna be there this name we we are selling merchandise for selling t-shirts are gonna be selling all our gear taking pictures of everybody this show will sell out Gramercy Theatre November 9th midnight get to get the tickets history are heinous calm patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys Kristy comedy calm Yanis Papa's comedy calm Grider calm right okay and also let me just say this every one of these episodes is different guys it's just a live podcast if you bought tickets for the one at the stand and you want to come on the next night to see the next episode it's gonna be a different topic and bill bursts could be there yes yeah you never know we yeah you never know what's gonna happen what's gonna happen yeah and look if when it sells out this is what we've promised you guys one lucky guy's gonna get to get haps Kristen's lap it's what it is yeah it happened I may fill up my mail fill up a Sukkah story with cashew butter and shoot it hey Bert or you may ru stage-diving just fall to someone's lap yeah I'll stage-diving fall to a guy's line it's what it is come with your questions too cuz that's gonna be part of the end of the show ask us whatever what else you got Mike yeah what are we doing make sure you leave in a review on iTunes everywhere you leave make sure you tell your friends make if you're following us on YouTube subscribe leave a comment leave a thumbs up share with a friend and follow me on instagram at Mikey Suarez follow of anitya and you're not getting on her she's private so you can request but it's gonna be today and I'd see the drop out I'd see the drop out yeah man I mean I guess what we've decided yes what the [ __ ] we decide we decided to crack and crack open our [ __ ] show at Gramercy Theatre November nights at midnight with a [ __ ] freestyle rap from Zak Isis yeah so get them balls you heard your heart yeah man yeah me and also [ __ ] Mike's a good comic you're gonna be seeing [ __ ] the comedy stylings of [ __ ] Mike's warrior before he gets catapulted over Trump's yeah this thing wasn't recording is that okay no for this point we're okay yeah yeah the whole crews gonna be there and let me just say this is we're about to do our first episode guys thank you yeah thank you and and you know what thank you guys to our crew yeah we got a nice little team yeah yeah we [ __ ] who are we led by yeah then it's he had the Greek piece sent it to you the Greek piece vanity of the grey yeah and she probably does the least of the work of these three but she's the woman and she's the only one screwed in know she thought so most of us she prepares everything she keeps us a chest she does keep us chest but also here's the reason why she got a chance first if what she gets divorced not gonna happen yeah sure my 50 not gonna happen this one is here's cuz you got yeah you got a baby's mama it you'll be you'll get her honor killed and yourself killed it's what a Greek father will find you and kill you with a machete old [ __ ] world style so here's the deal white vanity is top because here's the deal we love Zach and we like Mike but let's be honest if we got a book a Guest if we got to talk to an advertiser or if we got to talk to a venue yeah we can't nothing like a monthly thing yeah and Zach doesn't speak English at all yeah and he's got a haircut that looks Franks and beans like he cut it himself with his mom's kitchen yeah so we just have to have a representative for the podcast who can speak English normally yeah and it's vanity and yeah yeah and that's what it is she's well-spoken yes great yeah yeah as long as you don't give a [ __ ] word dope when you talk about people yeah as long as she doesn't always tell you how she really feels cuz that could hurt that can [ __ ] hurt did you see how she's been reacting to our t-shirts with the logo on it yeah she's been I can tell by her reaction she's not for it yeah but we're just gonna override her because guess what we're the boss of you we're the boss of you I love him I'm the boss of me Chris is the boss of him and you're not the boss of us yeah yeah the baby's the boss of all yeah the baby's the boss of everybody but I could tell by your reaction you're not crazy about the baby told me on the phone today that it only costs a dollar to buy her that's what she told me at the diner and you're gonna say baby you're worth a little bit more than that right yeah well her mom called me and said that's why I was on the phone at the time I was like all right you got here at your daughter saying she's saying she said to her mom's like it only cost a quarter to buy me that's what my baby's saying about herself and then she was like and then I was like tell her tell our daughter that I'll pay a dollar yeah I want and they said tell her I pay $5.00 yeah and then she was like and was I'm sorry then situation just like I'll pay ten legal reason ain't I situation said I'll pay ten and I said I'll pay twenty then this situation hung up yeah and by the way it's just clear that bill birnes not here so let's just put this on the end of the episode know we didn't know but Mike said we can't we got to do it in the middle right it would just be weird to cut back in there but it's where the high heinous it's what it is the fans know what they're getting now it's when we talk about Elyse yeah but I mean we've been going on for 20 minutes no it was good it was fine can't we just leave this on this guy's I love the episode just keep listening and Bill warms up yes [ __ ] like yeah you guys are German Irish German Irish Irish a little too you guys a little too punctual yeah work a little too hard for make me uncomfortable I like to lay back I like to lay down I'm a Greek yeah but that's an insult to our time when you when you're late like that we are at our degree yeah yeah I didn't know that yeah if you don't even know my name you could just look at my eyebrows and you get it yeah you look like Rihanna pillows they're gonna fly as things are those things I manicure manicure that's right your age because the thing about it you're we are age once you get into the your late 30s thank you yeah once you get there that's that's when yeah it all starts going [ __ ] crazy yeah yeah I like how he put me in my late 30s because he's hoping like there's still a chance for my career but III had to [ __ ] I'm in the danger zone right now I had to do damage control for what you said about your character that's true tickets were dipping I'm trying to say you have nice eyebrows you still in your thirties thank you when did you start really selling tickets how old like where you went to his moves [ __ ] take it was [ __ ] it it got even a question the kid moves tickets now but I'm saying when did it start it was a gradual thing I you know but like what you got what was the first time you first titled I needed I needed the one-two punch of the half-hour HBO and Jim Norton got me on the late great Opie and Anthony show right so and then through that coming out I was able to sell tickets in San Francisco and Opie and Anthony markets okay there was and then everything else went away so like to make my first time I dealt with the pressure of people came here to see you which was a new thing it goes up until then the whole pressure is you know nobody knows who the [ __ ] you are and it's can I go up and get these people got it can I follow the local reference headlining feature act who just stirred these guys up with this reference to a part of town I don't know so I I was doing Rascals in New Jersey first time I met virzi and and the first time I went clean and sold out to Friday to Saturday and before you even got there yeah and it was without a wig and there was a hole well no they promoted the shows on open right like it was [ __ ] in court Opie and Anthony did for all of those comics I was incredible they would basically cut commercials for your stand-up gigs that was them paying you back yeah and we got paid but then you know some soup finally goes like these are free commercials they're not paying from you can't do these anymore so then you had it but then they would still talk while you were on the air and they found this middle ground they oh they always looked out for us which was great so and I went there and that was the first time I heard it's a different sound of people excited to see you versus like okay we're out and we got some free tickets let's go see this so that was the first time I dealt with this like Oh like I'm finally doing well but I could lose this all tonight like if I eat my dick on four shows it's just you know you get all in your head it's gonna spread like wildfire he wasn't as good as what he did on whatever the radio show or TV and it's all gonna go away so that took that was an adjustment period of about three months and I was actually getting relieved when I would go down south to like the punchline in Atlanta and I was only drawn like uh uh you know half the crowd and I was like okay so it's not right yeah I kind of needed a break from like yeah that because I I it was just I I'd never experienced it it was new yeah how much did the fellas 2005 how much does the feeling thing cuz the Philly thing was like huge that was like an unintentional like somebody who was mortified after and I thought I thought uh you know I thought everyone was gonna laugh that I got booed I didn't get what had happened yeah I didn't get it I was riding back with Bobby Kelly he's going did you realize you just told the whole city to go [ __ ] themselves and I was like I know and all the clips were and and all these you know unflattering clips were ending up on [ __ ] YouTube and I was just like oh my god every comic I know is gonna see that I didn't know that people were gonna look at it in a positive way well because it's the same thing that happened in my opinion Jim Jefferies because both you guys are good comics where it's like something happened like that when Jim Jefferies got attacked on stage it goes viral it says oh who is this guy then you go check them and you're like oh he's really funny down the fence you know what's funny about that I saw that clip yeah of him and then knew him for like seven years in never two and two together and then somebody did the reference I was like oh that's the same I remember that I watch that yeah of course if there's a clip of a comic getting punched in the head you know what I forgot to give you [ __ ] about was like when you I don't know is there anything left yeah that's what they know the one thing I forgot was like when you when you would give me [ __ ] about [ __ ] on Philly and then it hit me I was like you did a whole [ __ ] 20 minutes of [ __ ] on Philly wait a minute yeah just love that you carried that was a text argument yeah this guy carries welcome to my life I need to just [ __ ] remember that I got a woman's brain yeah they were booing me they weren't booing you you was just [ __ ] on Oprah in a very arrogant I'm from New York yeah therefore I'm successful just because like like you chose to be born here yeah yeah New York New York yeah what I said was like it looks like New York New York New York ghana's poppers drinking the smoothie yeah put the wig on make up some money what I said that's how he comes back yeah yeah Yanis no Marissa Marissa sorry sorry sir but you know Marissa yeah guy if you if we take a dip in ticket sales and you don't thank you come on [ __ ] wig you got another thing coming guy you putting on that [ __ ] guy well we play to getting bucks in those seats for us we put the ticket link up and we don't fill it up I'm that you'd better believe I'm doing a promo on Comm y'all I swear to calm me all this Gramercy Theater show in November and he doesn't sell out in a week you're putting that [ __ ] wig on that's all we got if you don't think that you think that's gonna work you got another thing coming cuz I'll tell you what we're gonna do is we're gonna lie and say bill burr is gonna be there yeah [ __ ] it calm the hyenas in bill burr after the New York Comedy Festival that's what's going on so come check us out yeah psyched I saw that bit live that's my favorite bit you guys do know another thing coming said that where I grew up and then also is one of my favorite Judas Priest songs it works on a bunch of levels for me yeah yeah that's just that's yeah we'll get our fans will send us wild ones and then sometimes like Jesus Christ don't say yeah just as long as no fans make a compilation clip of uh of us feeling awkward worth bill for this podcast I'm saying it all I said somebody else did that on something else I'm saying that we just yeah yeah you know what YouTube you're talking about yeah comfortably feel comfortable right now I [ __ ] feel no you know I [ __ ] you know what the thing is cuz now I know you better but like at the beginning it was like I didn't know like used to say build a tough hang cuz it's intimidating it's a timid first of all you're closed guy information but also you look up to the guy scary [ __ ] yes no I'm just saying how do you how do you relate to someone you admire so much you know I mean and then you meet them and they like I just come back to him and his talent absolutely yeah because you know I'm a pretty good actor to rehearsed yeah how do you Jess I'm pretty good at characters I'm pretty good characters and my specials got 40,000 views so it's doing pretty good but Chris got drunk and threw up a clip and now it has half a million yeah that's how Comedy Works I worked so hard to do that special I put up it's got 40,000 he got drunk one night called me right before it's like I'm hammered I'm gonna do is set he did one 9/11 story shits got half a million views in six hours oh I love thanks not to say I didn't love yours I was working too hard you can see the effort admire as he's just a natural FF well what are you gonna do funny [ __ ] buddy forty [ __ ] yeah yeah I know but I think already go positive yeah but now we're part things are positive now for us come on links are great what the hi heinous it's good guys can I tell you yeah don't let this business tear apart you've what you have here know this magic a cordis [ __ ] lying no you know what keeps us connected I got a cube brain that is so needed during this comedy climate to have your friendship destroyed no we're over clicks it's not gonna what not with us not with us I think you guys need to start taking a yoga class together we are I will said yoga Bayridge right before you do a this show to take all the energy out of it yeah yeah yeah just driving into a sandbar he actually got serious about yoga and got yoga socks yeah I got yoga became a t-shirt of ours yeah it's called no fumes teacher we got history on heinous calm yeah um wait wait what do yo get sucked it's uh because I got hammertoes so my toes cross over each other so it's a saw that puts see if you if you look right here that's they they keep each toe individually not is that doesn't mean that you don't have to deal with you don't have to go to a podiatrist someday and have the operation well it will it yank it back according to the honestest father-in-law I will need the operation eventually when it starts to rub it on the top of my sneakers but it's not there yet I'll just start to get constants why don't you just get it now so it's not as damaged because I gotta get a tonsillectomy too so I don't want to go [ __ ] toe and tonsils back to back I want to just I want to just wait and space him out I got to do my college special but you need your voice yeah so I think you can hobble through that [Laughter] they're shaped like they're in high heels it was like isosceles trying it's probably from all those years open playing hoop with no sneaker contract what do you have you have the feel is like what's his favorite [ __ ] felis yeah things almost ended grant Hill's career New Balance is still my school my high school sponsored by New Balances which is a good shield but it was you know they're dated I feel like the Detroit Pistons did like they did to Grant Hill what the Golden State kind of did to Kevin Durant what do you know I mean like just kept pushing him out there cuz he was moving tickets for that team he's the only bright spot was like he needed to rest that ankle you know it was Kevin Kevin Durant's decision to come back to come out allegedly I mean they could have been like no they could have been like you can't see I just you know she knew he was a free agent guys let's not do this let's go okay let's get Joe cause I was acting like the [ __ ] kid watching the parents are yeah I want to hear this yeah what's your theory my theory is they knew he was leaving they knew he was leaving oh this is going so this is new who's leaving so it's like they were like yeah you're good they're like you want to play he was like I want to play all all competitors want to play he's like I want to play and they were like yeah we think you think he was a pawn in the big game like Shane Gillis yes what do you think yeah he's a pawn in the big [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah because he for the injury to happen that quick on nothing unlike absolutely nothing he was way not ready to play and that that type of injury they know that that's not a that's not a judgment call yeah but as a guy as it got a understand sports psychology I get all that but as a human nobody said you did yeah yeah I'm [ __ ] senses I got a second he's gonna come in here so defensive I got an undergrad degree degree in psychology shot at st. Joseph's College that's what happens that's the motto my mother's very proud my mother is proud of me that I want to say Jose she's very um you're a doctor alright well technically you're pretty much a doctor I got I got clinical doctor degree yeah but you can't watch what happens SJ see watch what happens yes cocky yeah yeah like and the president of the valedictorian of my class died of heroin overdose in 2009 that's what it is so do years watch what happens [ __ ] funeral time yeah so I think Kevin Durant he made his decision on his own yeah and as a man as a guy who's worked you know he was the one putting the shots up in the gym you can tell all these people could say whatever they want contract property blah blah it's like he's like the guy playing the game he makes the decisions for himself but you don't even you don't think of his condo if they he still had years left on his contract guarantee you don't think they would have protected him I don't think you can't no I think they probably tried to but Kevin Durant said I'm playing and then he's going on is that how it works exact like you days it out I don't know this was like a great courtroom drama and I was watching the closing arguments you just tap that like I mean is that how it works yeah I should know lawyers yeah that's not the way it works yeah leading the player yeah I am a know-it-all should I should just kept going with it you know well you yeah but you but you do know a lot of stuff that's the thing not really yeah there's a lot of saying you're smart he's just saying you know a lot of stuff there's a difference there's a huge difference yeah I'm not a smart kid none of us are really smart kids I don't think come you have a circle that yeah that I'm you know as a fan of yours that I'm waiting for you to bust out of you need to stay you stay in your safe areas yeah give me more no I need the help I'm gonna leave this yeah hanging here so I'm gonna put a good holing I'll put a gun dear Bilbo knowing that you're gonna take like ya [ __ ] years yeah yeah they're gonna come up to me being like do you feel like am i added a circle high out of the circle yeah did I leave it yet am i outside that circle and I'll be 66 and I'll be playing at governors and you'll be like not quite your stones you're like a country farmer that's afraid to go to the big city but you grew up in the big city yeah and you're just sitting there in your little turnip farm here and you're afraid to like I don't know what it is you got this this thing where you feel like you need to stick up for your city when no one's really trashing it nobody cares yeah sticking up for Greeks they've you know this country doesn't have a policy right now that's aggressive yeah towards the country yeah I'm not yet you're going after Philadelphia and yeah in Boston it's just this even me one of your good friends what are you good for I almost three times I almost saw your wonderful friendship and on this episode you're like a [ __ ] uncle to my daughter man yeah the baby behavior calls him aunt Yanis cuz she saw him once with the wig on she doesn't know if he had a woman she calls the man Yanis she's confused and my kid's mom get some answers like you confusing our daughter I'm like Yanis is confused as a person yeah he's a thing he's are they uh they a teacher that that's my preferred pronoun hey hey they in a circle yeah no what does that mean how do I get out of the [ __ ] circle do I gotta move to LA is that what that doing is I'm busting your balls acting like I have the answer to the riddle and I don't I don't know you're gonna take it home and you're gonna put a gun in your mouth dude I'm gonna kill myself and if I do come us if I'm definitely writing a letter that say we cuz bill burr didn't tell me what the circle meant well what you have to do is on your suicide note is part of your brains got to get on the note or it doesn't look real like a plant so I blow up from behind yeah yeah this off yeah that you know if you do that then that's a weird place yeah and I see the courtroom drama now if I was to kill myself like I would here yeah I never stood the gun in the mouth I'm just gonna blow out your throat yeah you know it'd be a great way to do it to ruin like the rest of his life but did I put up a YouTube clip of him and pause it yeah just like one of his great specials and then just blow my brains against a set and a set just but I'll never be this good dude you know what's gonna kill my career be like that fighter that killed somebody in the ring yeah never punches is Hardy that's how great to know how to use guilt again that we learned that from our parents yeah I'll hurt myself in the circle back in this wagon you know circle like the Greek circles my mother did it like three years ago like three years ago I get you know I got pulled over because I was I think I was went through a red light or something and I got pulled over and you know like there's that nervous energy where like you get pulled over and you're like [ __ ] what I do and I had I had serious on and you're a bit you're you were on one of the special few specials ago and it was that bit um when you talked about you know like the ward attract women like I do know but literally such at range in my hair I had I literally had the volume I had the volume on like a good you know volume and as I'm rolling down the window I just didn't even think to turn it to turn my music down because you know I'm just nervous with the cops and he goes license and registration and perfect time you go what do you affair you go but that's the last thing your friends are here was you dying you have a softer Syrah banana pay oh you got bananas his pancakes where do you figure the cop and the cop just took him oh he goes license and registration yeah again I was like it'd spill bar you got a ticket right oh I got it - yeah yeah yeah he what he wasn't a fun if he was a fun guy like a funny you know like a wonder that he would have just been like probably let me off but he's [ __ ] some kook yeah how do you here's the thing that this this special you did is amazing I think it's one of the best that's just yeah I just think it's one of your better ones and that says a lot obviously but like how do you keep how do you keep like when you're famous and let's be honest you sell tickets and you got a little bit of money I'm in a great place though I'm in a great place where like people don't [ __ ] with me yeah like I I just like this there's different there's different rooms of this [ __ ] and you could be that guy who has entourage and security and then going to a club and like oh we got a VIP this and just making this spectacle yeah of yourself or you can [ __ ] walk around like I've you know I don't a name name said I want to [ __ ] up their [ __ ] but I've done a couple of acting gigs with like super [ __ ] famous people and they don't behave that way least the guys can't women have to have security because if somebody [ __ ] creeps out there but like the guys just [ __ ] if you just [ __ ] walk around and act like it's not a big deal then that you get rid of a lot of that right right because when you take that [ __ ] ride that you just you just cut the cord to any sort of reality and that's when you know you're sitting courtside with sunglasses on and doing that [ __ ] with you Ed Hardy outfit on yeah you know with some chick who doesn't love you for texting the whole time right Bhutan's that whole [ __ ] the front row of a hoop game is not where you want to end up unless you like some crazy right now super fan might saying that all bad but in general yeah that's like usually I would say the first sign right you starting to slip away and then you [ __ ] right I mean you [ __ ] do you try to do that it starts with the American Airlines lounge yeah and you cut the cord from regular people trying to stay in the line and get a [ __ ] star but it starts there and then it's how far you go I use the lounge yeah I'm not gonna lie to you yeah once in a while right yeah I treat myself yeah but like I did such a [ __ ] process and in like all of that [ __ ] you can't so you got to update it and it's just all the jokes are out with the [ __ ] all the people are just [ __ ] use all the animals you got to hang with the animals or else you don't have any material well what you have to and what like a guy like you or guy like a Jim Gaffigan career I love it's it's all the powers in the fans like your fans are the ones that you know they're fans of your work where some of our other peers that we know they're fans from big TV shows it's like the network is the thing so they're like they just want to grab them and they don't even know they do stand if they're coming to see them because they saw him in a movie or a TV show that's a different kind of it either way works those are both two mountains you got to climb up we're gonna do the grassroots yeah I'm just gonna keep coming to [ __ ] Wichita until I sell this room out which was which was the way I had to do it cuz who's getting moved the alley woods not looking for what for a balding redhead like that guy what [ __ ] putting the movie on so and then there's the other side where like you then have to like book a TV show which was really hard back in the day I don't know about now there's so many of them but it still is hard and then it's got to be a [ __ ] hit I think that that is a hard [ __ ] no more yeah yeah because it's so it's like there was the slices of pie and now they just take the pie and they throw it through a wood chipper like and you just hope some [ __ ] cream or something well like our Pierre like from our generation is like Andrew Schultz is selling the most tickets out of all of us right now and it's all his own YouTube stuff it's a cast nothing no tonight shows no TV shows no movies though all those things are great and I'm sure he'll get those things because of the success he has now but it's like that seems to be the way like the Opie and Anthony routes don't exist for us anymore it's like a podcast now now yeah now you got a Rogen or your stuff like you coming on helps us so much because it makes people search you and then they see this and then they listen and that's just how that's the way we have to do it right well you know but you couldn't do this this is there's advantages to disadvantages to whenever you [ __ ] start it so it's just as long as you you just use the advantages the way that you can you pick a [ __ ] Road exactly stay on it you got to put your blinders on because every young comic goes through that thing well well he's doing that I need to be doing that and then you just use sitting there just wandering around over here and then you going over here at some point you just give me all right what the [ __ ] do I want to do I'm just gonna do this and just keep [ __ ] doing this and you know and then not be an [ __ ] hopefully and then that's why for me personally it's been like having a child and being somebody's dad is the most grounding and beautiful thing because it just yes I wanted you to choke up during that almost-dead I would if I stay a child at having a child if the Yankees yeah if the Yankees win this year I will choke up yeah um they they uh the streak continues yeah but my please but with her with my daughter I noticed I realized that when I had a pilot with CBS didn't go but whatever it was a whole [ __ ] year of my life and like my family I was going out to LA I was in LA for two months back and forth to LA so much throughout the year they were making us feel like it's gonna be a show I meant they had me meet with Kevin James and Ray Romano and oh you're gonna be Les Moonves who called me and it was like holy [ __ ] I'm gonna have a shell you know Yanis was telling me it's not gonna work and he was right and and and it's true he saw the pilot goes this is a piece of [ __ ] you better hope it doesn't get me I was like oh they [ __ ] they ruined if they get really ruined you were sometimes you don't have to go on it's because the ship was gonna crash I told her they didn't it wasn't what you should have - I don't know you know but but but it was true but I would have never said that before when it didn't get on the air I remember I was flying back from LA and I think told me on the plane it didn't get on the air and there's a whole story but I remember if I didn't have my daughter they called you know you know what I mean Chris you have a call I had no I was coming I was doing a private gig in San Francisco and they were I was on the runway and they were saying and and the deadline had released the new CBS fall lineup my show wasn't on and I call my manager eyes you know like hey didn't go page two but he caught it be here somewhere but he called when I call him talking [ __ ] to the chick but she watches you fall apart I'm sorry he calls me he I call him and I said I didn't call whatever and I'm on the [ __ ] runway like we're moving already and he goes no no no he goes we just got off the phone with CBS your show it's between your show and another show who's gonna be the winter pick up the January pick up they always have one midseason pick up and it's between your another show he's like so you're not they're talking about you right now he said every but we're there that you know the heads of the agents are in there working for you and literally we're like descending now the flight attendant told me twice she's like turned off that phone like she was getting agitated and I was like it's off and then like literally ads were speeding up that text come I'm like looking at a picture of my daughter the text comes from the top from my manager goes didn't go buddy sorry and then we start to take off and my head went cave back in like you know the momentum of it hit me back I swear to god for like 90 minutes I was just comatose yeah and then I drank on the plane I said let me drink on the plane landed always a good move disappointment alcohol but bad thing happened I went right to Pinot Grigio that's when that's what kids from my neighborhood do and if you're from Northern Europe that's just kind of the go-to move but then I could have dealt with that like you know I'll and and then my family family knows I tell him my mom's all upset whatever but then my daughter I was like you know that show daddy had she still I was like that show daddy had I was like you know it didn't go and I apologize I was like I'm so sorry and then she was like you still push me on the swing and that's a manic like what's clear to me it's like Oh beautiful smart doesn't is if you didn't take a shot at Northern Europeans yeah yeah you guys you guys like to drink bill would have got this wish I would have cried if you did [ __ ] yeah but it was not necessary I know we know we're animals you are guys are you guys are you guys act like you're calm but that you guys are like gremlins yeah very nice and then you pour a little bit of that and then it's like [ __ ] your mother you guys lose it yeah well this world grab this planet's ours it's a character that's my dad he's a firefighters never been to the city's first time to City yeah yeah but but I remember it was Robert it was Robert Kelly who told me cuz my kid well I had my baby it was a I only knew her mom two or three dates and I was like [ __ ] having the same wasn't crazy yeah and it was Robert who was like hey listen man I you know I just had a son it's the best thing that's ever happened to me for many reasons he said but for career stuff don't listen to any of the people that are telling you this is bad move for your career or this is gonna ruin your crease like whatever they say because that they're all sitting alone at whatever comedy club on the road wish and they're gonna have what you have he's like it's it's the best thing and he was right Bobby is the best in those situation now if your show got picked up you would not want to run into him next-door neighbor yeah well he's gonna be [ __ ] he's gonna be pissed at this it's like you have villain with them yeah he's gonna be pissed me anyway it's my [ __ ] studio dude he's giving me advice like that and in key moments too I was actually texting with Bill when I was you know I was going through my recent problems you know what when we're coming blood know when he was he started spewing blood a little trouble you know they call me Yanni nets in the show cuz they would feel like I gotta put that's behind cuz I keep almost passing a damn stage we'll have those nets out November 9th Gramercy Theater will put the nets out or or Mike emoji behind me in case I fall yeah my set yeah he'll be yeah so I told you tell us I passed you know and at comedy connection I cancelled my whole weekend I got off stage I was doing yeah call your wife yeah and I was still struggling with this when I was doing Mohegan Sun at a comics yeah and I spoke to Bill and it was just so nice to speak to somebody older and like you know anytime he goes he's lying yeah I'm not lying it means you're older and wiser in their or their head in the career let's move [ __ ] tits for kid barely selling out bananas yeah I sold it out once it haven't been since I put down the wig I haven't been asked back I got asked to give money back to cops in San Francisco I got sent home punchline Sacramento I just really impressed with my new hours Sunday it happening we're gonna send you home how would you like to get on a plane right after your show yeah I got demoted from headliner down to feature act the first time I headlined at the Trop and [ __ ] Vegas and I have to check out was seeing I flew her out to see me my big headline oh yeah but this is early early on right like in your where you still in your 20s but at that point um no I was about thirty I think when that happened I was definitely always thirty I feel they they hit to the chest that felt like in your 30s yeah 20s you can shake it with young running back you got young legs in your 30s that's when they start so you know like when those lines go after that one Buffalo yeah that's kind of what was going on there yeah me and Angelo tried to do a theater with more recent Panos in Philadelphia and we sold about 50 tickets in like a place that fits 700 I was there I did so they moved this to the bar area wow he's so we did the show at the bar area which I'm glad I would rather have done that then do it in the theater so they made the right move but it hurt and hurt stunk it's yeah I feel like I'm going to sack Sacramento punchline this weekend and tickets are low but it's one of those things where it's like tough ticket it's a tough and it's just like you know what I this is where you know I'll work on my stuff I'll [ __ ] just try to kill every hour and that's and just promote as much as I can of me what can I do you know make sure you have a car yeah I'm the rebel I didn't have a car and I was trying to save money and I just was at the comedy condo and there was a McDonald's right near it yeah it was one dirty McDonald's nothing worse than a dirty McDonald's and just [ __ ] people using hanging out there so I was just I was a Western I actually why I don't think I was that upset they sent me home probably oh yeah I did I did a tour you you know this is back during the when Dayne blew up on myspace and all of a sudden people saw the power of social media then all these agents was so [ __ ] they started trying like well you got 3,000 and he's got 15,000 you got 4,000 we put you all together you know you're gonna sell out an 800-seat theater and it just didn't it was just like it's just like it's like you're a country singer you're doing death metal and you juggle yeah like they didn't have like a through-line right right so they tried to put me Jurado and a young Mike Birbiglia together and I I should have known as a bad idea cuz we were trying to think of a name for the tour we couldn't remember Giraldo arrested so he goes how about two men and a baby I was like that could work look if we could do the poster and we actually should have done that but I forget what it was I forget what we ended up even calling it and it just it just didn't work right because Greg and I were similar enough that we sort of had the same little fan base right and then Mike was way over there and it just it just was not you know there's got to be a through line to the show other than this three [ __ ] guys talking into a mic so yeah yeah that's funny that they were just trying to combine your they're trying to add your numbers together oh yeah no no anything don't don't build the act you don't don't go that route let's get the money now burn them out and then [ __ ] ride the next horse shoot these in the head yeah I mean our agents are agents nobody was paying attention to us until we sold out this quickly the first show we're history hyenas and now they're all like perked up there listen to this right now is like podcasting was [ __ ] and then what's this and now it's like this magical thing there's always that thing that they think so and so did this so do this and then you'll get there and it's just that well it's a different it's like a different subculture of comedy now like you can't there's certain people that you we stand up so like oh so it's always in that good at stand up but they are really good at the podcast so they deserve to sum up like people go see them and they love their show so it's like sometimes other comedians want to hate it's like well that [ __ ] person's good at that yeah not good at the stand-up but they're good at the podcast and I'll be honest with you I really think that the the the conditioning is changing I feel like this people's sensibilities changing because of podcasts I think like stand-up almost seems a little contrived nah the way like you you look at it now you don't think so no not there's nothing better than a comedian just going up on stage saying what they're thinking and ripping a crowd it is but left the laughs per [ __ ] second compared it's true I agree with you but I'm saying the young people I've noticed like when you do comedy he thinks too much you found mr. Graham I do [ __ ] theories know with a reason I just like call him Yanni long days County long days cuz yeah it's gonna be long time he tweets something out at like 3 o'clock in the morning I'll always tweet I got him in for a long [ __ ] day because whatever you see on Twitter him getting that I live three blocks away from sauna I'll get a text at 6 a.m. you want to get coffee and oh my god [ __ ] yeah the first six minutes of my day on you already building up best is he figures out ways to get off the phone like I don't know that's what he's doing he's like oh wait this it doesn't elephant coming I got I gotta go there's an elephant coming I can't he was just gonna throw his his [ __ ] real job all onto the bus yeah I think it's like you've trashed your character she's not selling stand-up ain't happening anymore you are [ __ ] gloom and doom hyenas yeah I am like part of me is like I'm a little worried I'm like yeah hyenas just doing real well cuz I put all my energy into this yeah and now that your Comedy Central deals over you're probably gonna do that - yeah that [ __ ] ended yesterday abruptly never ends no nicely it's this is going go we're having a lot of fun and and we're starting to move tickets off this which is nice let's just watch us but it's the way it's still 20 the thing that I'm happy hopefully and let's be honest we have a good time together we got a great time if we have a good time and I just feel confident if the podcast sells tickets we have strong enough backbones now that we could give them a good stand-up show and it's not just lies you're gonna be fine yeah you're gonna be fine I love this show you guys know so much [ __ ] tweet about London to watch making no never enough [ __ ] show Mike make a note you can head it that we can do a loop Oh cuz I tweeted about the other thing I forgot three about this yeah I don't secure well cuz I didn't want to [ __ ] I thought I had to do it in chunks no but then it freaked me out I don't I'll tell you the Hollywood [ __ ] afterwards alright what happened because of the tweet you know I was honestly just kidding I'm lost what happened I [ __ ] tweeted that was gonna be in the barstool thing and then my game plan was then to tweet on the way down here but I didn't because I got involved in some other stuff not to say you guys are not important to me I know I was looking like I went out of my way I know we were talking about with you guys yeah I know they don't count yeah yeah fired not a factor no kidding yeah I made sure I said hey he you know he no he made sure he [ __ ] put night but I double-checked it's this and I watch you guys on Instagram I think you guys I have the highest respect to this guy yeah I mean the highest real quick can we just read the patreon members just real quick we have to read them every episode so so we go people you know Patriot you got the patreon he doesn't do it oh you'll do it okay it doesn't didn't work for me alright so for us it's it's what it's what we do here so it's patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys people go join they get extra bonus content on a pole shall we current to make a funny name if they don't make a funny name that means they just want to hear for the content got a corporate job would you say straight to the back we don't [ __ ] around with their name like the guys used to go for the porn section you know they go to the back they walk into saloon doors yes straight sit back it'll be real quick that we just pick one who's our ppw pseudo penis to the funniest some pseudo penises we give him the ppw that's it two minutes and it's gone okay first up the da I don't know what stay to the back right to the back here for the contact Lauren T and Lauren Titus Robertson straight back here for the contest Josiah the ball we got a whole bunch of straws Wow we're kid that but now here we got it back there yeah here we go Dominic slinging Pete's with a mediocre piece murano there we go good one yeah Stephen put your fancy clothes on we're going to Olive Garden tell Howard that's another good eyes yeah then we got Rachel one name yeah baby every cover then we got on a heat yeah on who on ahed cotton oh just hard there international appeal an appeal a Sandra Day sad day absolutely Kyle my mother wanted a daughter so I talked to Crowley we got Anthony jalapeno peace Ortiz yeah yeah yeah deverson barber straight to the back to the back of here free content then we got charlie patty Mulroney finger blast of my mom's booty and it's just what it is ten Matt Matt the half wasp half sauce monkey a hundred percent for the cause yeah well here we go here we go closing strong then we got G and D G here for the good then we got Boris boys promoting his plumbing business okay yeah no we got ya Bob bubblegum brown bunny may be waitin for it but bill burr sir you gotta come strong not strong bubblegum Brown that sounds okay school pimp help me God Tanner fell in love with the two funny funny one yeah Jonny Stevens here for the comeback Victoria make no mistake doesn't want to get sent to the back hillier yes she gets it she's at right Clyde Drexler born in the era of Jordan yeah there's some better ones Homer Salgado it's not her fault that's not our fault Homer so god it's a funny name a white Walker yeah yeah Andrew Chrissy tucked it back and sat in my lap Houston good one yeah yeah a lot of inside joke yeah Denis raincoats are for quitters Blake I'd like to take a swing then this kid just gave his Instagram name vice or underscore rocks it's a ground yes crude anything his Instagram name yes promoting um Danny this slap was made for Chrissy DS Fanny Nia bass yeah yeah we got Jessica extra turned Jessica x2 current trash monkey a bit on the autistic scale F&B wait just go from the bet yeah Jessica x2 current trash monkey a bit on the autistic scale F and B's pretty good one word it's too much it was good yet you read kind of killed it I don't know I don't know what it's funny it's funny Clyde Drexler warning wrong hour is overrated judging some B's intelligence by how they read out loud go ahead yeah good one ward so the brain is designed the brain is designed to break it up at the syllables thank you smart [ __ ] and I believe you because you're a doctor absolutely yeah next one here for the character piece here for the character buddy yeah an Irish kid who's got a great family in Korea so I'm headed in the right direction white yeah yeah Louise toot is my pronoun to stand for now good Elise is just a funny Louise is good leoch huh - no - ism prostitute but we go toots people who sign on people who don't sign on to our patreon with : toots people who are in a patron or non - now so we just call everybody do you listen for your token cocaine it could be that yeah riding the rail yeah Lisa done Lisa for the count here for the contest rate to the back Shaun's shot so much rope it clogged the drain meal yeah Isaac just to miss them Isaac just a misdemeanor Brown yeah okay all right you went for it screwed in Irish Mick cleaned out by the holy priest piece yeah Mikey Loki Mexican hoping for the wall cuz I like my job Chris deep throat but not like Watergate to Stefano okay yeah he went for it because you took a swing camera he might Ken Burns on it yeah he went for it then this guy just put Julian [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Anderson okay okay kid had writer's block yeah just let it out yeah Chris one word yeah big rally Oh Luke no fumes even though it burns pretty good good Jennifer Jasper Andrew Chris Murphy Ryan Ramirez then we got Fitz jerk in my pseudo penis to become a TBG hyena Patrick Tuohey Bee Gees a true-blue gay people gay yeah then we got Alex cracked open and cleaned out a pseudo peeing on the NHS with warts too goody buddy - run-on sentence okay he tripped himself up we're almost done here I think the [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] was a voice text yeah set it down and said the last name then they got Tara's good Irish Catholic kid gragan okay and then we have one that buckle up jakey's not a to it but my crack opened Chrissy's cute little poop show yeah that might be it okay gerald Reuben jr. yeah um content Jenni double D make no mistake I'm moving vegetables yes I want ku klux Kobe the third white will rise again sheets I mean you got to stop with these names guys yeah is your fault you know what to do that yes your fault Rory King then we got I got a tinkle in my shrink there Chris she punched me to Sean not a sauce monkey paws Oh Louie your [ __ ] sauce monkey yes this would call Italian sauce monkeys yeah now we got purple headed yogurt slinger and then we got Luke Luke injury and then we got Kenny and non to it with a good lap drill so that was just a cool aid to boost a ppw Oh jakey cute cute cute put well that's I mean anybody think out for y'all see you got you guys you got your own Jake yeah own jargon here yeah they got their own all right we gonna give it to trucker right who do you give it to or diga who do you go then we had Dominic's thing in Pete's with the mediocre Pete's Morano yeah we have Mike you know Brown but ya know like that one I feel like that one said sound like bubblegum brown but I think this is the wrong list then like foot for the like I wouldn't put him as far as got it right Jackie's not great guitarist wrong pan right perfect way to describe yeah I like cute little poop show yeah I like to Mexican whoa I want my job my job so build the wall yeah I like that one guy I like to make a low-key Mexican yeah identity who do you like him he's also screwed in Irish might cleaned out by the holy priests piece that's another goodie I'm scared I like jakey's because it is almost a poem what is it again jakey's not a tooth but might crack open chris is cute little poop chute like the one above this is so much rope you clogged up the Dow I mean we gotta give it to somebody let's give it an for because we're honored today to have Bill burr here let's let him pick Ronny job line that was the one bill bill you want which one you would like to shoot put it on me yes your [ __ ] kids life they don't get a car alright then I'll go with the rope clogging up the drain yeah lean it up yeah Shaunie thought so much rope it clogged the drain meal I couldn't hear it guys swingers bill thank you so much hey guys are [ __ ] awesome you guys are awesome comedian stand-up is not over thank you literally give the baton is being passed to you thank you sir you're right in the age where you're gonna do the best [ __ ] [ __ ] you're ever gonna do and you're walking away from him you know why cuz you're afraid man I'm gonna start selling tickets in Des Moines and you're gonna have to get out of your circle yeah I don't want to get sir creeks out there yeah Alicia Keys didn't write a song about domain des moines yeah I'm real I'm ready for the challenge I mean I want to get out of this guy sorry you hold the [ __ ] blanket right now yeah yeah are you pulling the covers over it yeah yeah you know to be honest with you our dream we love doing history tourists we love doing the show we want to do this podcast live we want to travel around do it live like we're gonna do for the New York Comedy that's how we suck that's all right dates all right don't listen to me I'm from the old school stay please knapely resume into the back listen netflix paper tiger netflix bill burr everything awesome check me out Kristy comedy calm I got my dates coming up Star Wars - I'm gonna be in the mandalorian holy that's right that's something that's like don't blink you'll miss me that's insane that like a dream of yours to get in the movie like that I'm a sports guy yeah so I didn't know much about I mean I Star Wars I knew a lot of you know look at his face meetings now as fans they're like really [ __ ] cool these people now you turn I break my job is punch it rough on my earring up right now is that my imagination is he tearing up because I caught the way he was looking at bill he couldn't believe that you're gonna meeting someone it's wrong what I want I'll clock that I'll see you next time I come do the show if you'll have me if I tweet about it maybe maybe yeah I'll see if it changes I mean it was a retweet we'll check our schedule we're available you guys are doing thank you so much for having me thanks thanks Bill I appreciate it thank you one of the greats thank you Bill absolutely [Music]

Channel: History Hyenas

Views: 286,221

Rating: 4.8912868 out of 5

Keywords: Chris Distefano, chris Distefano comedy, Yannis Pappas, Chris Distefano Podcast, History Hyenas, The Bonfire, joe rogan experience, ladder 14, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, podcast, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, jokes, history, history class, homework, history homework, best history podcasts, funniest podcasts, best educational podcast, bill burr, bill burr joe rogan, bill burr joe rogan protests, bill burr kanye west ego, king of staten island, billbert

Id: ADiAbtGUfAY

Length: 104min 37sec (6277 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 13 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/CleeziusMaximus]

Shameless plug: reddit.com/r/historyhyenas If you enjoy this type of content, there's plenty more over there

[u/plymouthvoyager]

Jeremy Renner is way ahead of them on the whole "gun in mouth" thing: https://www.tmz.com/2019/10/14/jeremy-renners-ex-wife-sonni-says-gun-in-mouth-threat/