Chrissy the Hun is WILD!

i have to take your thoughts your daughter's without swim through she is without fumes it was so hot you're gonna swim you're so hot you would swim through sewage and bang around raphael de luca makes a [ __ ] beat of this they're just gonna call them fumeless yeah they're not gonna be called scandinavian anymore hitler was an [ __ ] make no mistake uh we do not recommend cutting your own balls off make no mistake the germanic tribes had some big pieces i think we would just be toots on a leash yeah we would be eunuchs yeah i remember when i found out was written by jews food did you miss us it's been a full week but the hyenas are back we are [ __ ] here and the great news is we've been gone for a week and i could finally say it i have a full pass yeah i got the [ __ ] sex change and i have got a clear hey well here's what i've realized without a reasonable doubt in my mind when you don't hair gel just as you are right when i shave i look like a woman and when i don't shave i look like hugh jackman yeah you the picture that you posted on your instagram versus when you don't shave you literally look like a lesbian member of antifa and then when you when you shave when you when you when you don't shave you look like just a sexy jihadi with a body you've never seen such a drastic change from facial hair from without right yeah yeah early on in the cast i [ __ ] my pants my fiance's actually listens to this and she actually thinks it's really funny what the one shank dj said she can you guys just stop farting it's gross and i said no it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen the furore fumes will not stop farting can you even be surrounded as the fuhrer of fumes yeah can you be surrounded by a woman who would potentially have fumes or everyone that surrounds you just has to be fumeless i am the fuhrer of fumes meaning the fof fuff girls and guys everyone included i am like a dog and i have the superpower i can just sniff out fumes yeah cause you told me before that i don't have fumes you have no fumes because i'm german and even though i got a big butt i don't have fumes but it could be because of baby powder yeah cause i baby powder my balls and dick and i and i t and i say my tell myself the reason why it hurts when i pee and why i have an itchy [ __ ] is because i get baby out of down my dick down my dick but the truth is it's chlamydia wow you can't speak it is what it is and you can't speak right now because you've had a lot of cups of cough and the last one was vegan i had a vegan cup of coffee that was poured out of the barista's organic butthole now this is what i want to know what the [ __ ] is vegan coffee because i just can you [ __ ] look that up because the [ __ ] has gotten to a level that i can't handle yeah freddy fetter i uh it's a vegan well first of all i had a vegan cupcake which is probably still just loaded with sugar cuz make no mistake this morning i woke up i had a toasted blueberry muff with butter a english muffin with organic peanut butter and then a piece of pumpkin bread and then i had a plate of tortellini which i was with you for and a baby pizza and now just a vegan cupcake cause we have to start going to the gym cause we're just gonna drop but make no mistake i was hanging out out on the island this weekend you're on the island i was on the island i was on the island with you i met you with the island we went pumpkin picking yeah with princess delilah yeah and your mom lynn who told you that all these animals are here and it's evidence that this is god's beautiful planet which is true because my mom saw camel's hump and she said see when i see an animal like that i say the only person that could have created that is god and that's what it is she said anyone who out there who thinks it's science like tell me how that camel's hump could possibly be there if there wasn't a god and we lost your mother for a couple seconds i said where's lynn and you said she probably went to church she probably went to church and my mom as you said uh this weekend my mom had a great time on long island because she was just she was out on long island and she was just around my white friends and she could just sit down and just and just take a little bit of a breath that for once in my life i'm not just around dancing raging puerto ricans i'm just like give me another one just to clean the palace yeah obviously i'm kidding i'm just joking but i just was funny to say but make no mistake my mom does have a few brews she's have a few brews with my aniline when i would say ma i can't hang out right now i'm going to hot 97 summer jam make no mistake let's just be crystal clear about one thing yes your mom does have to have an extra couple bros with ann eileen for one reason and one reason only why she enjoyed this weekend out on the island going pumpkin picking with you delilah me and my fiance yeah but when we were finished she was reminded that she did not achieve what she wanted for her son yeah which was for her son to marry a girl from long island and live in hempstead that's what she wanted and it did not go that way and she saw that you had interest going the other way towards manhattan and not towards long island which is a girls from ridgewood's dream for her child yeah i think what happened was unfortunately she she was on the way home looking at instagram to post the perfect picture of my daughter holding a pumpkin and then my daughter's mom popped up on instagram and she was reminded she does have a tattoo on her ted make no mistake catholicism is a necessary part of lynn's life it's unnecessary otherwise she would get on the train in the morning and just scream why is everybody on welfare yeah my mom has had a few brews and unfortunately the priests at the local parish do know a lot of my personal business because my mom make no mistake we'll have a [ __ ] nice cold sam adams and then call father bill the priest who molested me yeah it's just a vicious cycle yeah but look in order to raise a kid the way she did she raised you so well i'm a good kid right she's a good kid i believe that catholicism was necessary yeah because as a single mother yeah who was the bread earner yeah for you and the family in the house and everything she had to get up every day go to work and you know she had that mentality she's a hard-working germanic woman yeah and oh well she's irish though irish as well yeah she's germanic and irish right yeah so both you know and they nobody knows how to put their heads down like the irish and just pretend like everything's okay the fairy the yeah that nobody is better at the irish and being like their ass could be literally on fire and they could be like as long as i have faith in jesus yes everything he will put out the fire yeah so it's necessary in order to live that life day in and day out and go and and provide for her family she needs she needs a loving jesus yeah because she can't just come home and have you with your sweatpants around your ankles your hair ungelled looking franks and beans jerking off to a vhs tape with the door open and be able to sanely say that he's gonna make it okay yeah she needs a few broods and to go downstairs and talk to my aunt eileen when my enemy tries to find out a way to straighten out her feet as she she because you're at eileen's feet they do smell like cigarettes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she's great she's just gonna smoke through emphysema yeah because we gotta edit this out because the picture that you have up the picture that zach isis aka jihadi with her body has up today is two hyenas that just got into fight both disemboweled both alive walking around or it appears to be walking around with a pieces of their stomach and organs popping out giannis upon further review of the picture looked at and said he's not interested because it's clearly photoshopped and my rebuttal to that is who cares if it's photoshopped or not it looks real so therefore it is real no that's how i live my life that's so yeah that's how you live your life but me that's the whole point of why i love nature because i love reality because it's real yeah yeah yeah so we did have a good time the camera got pulled hold on what oh boy what what do you mean the camera got pulled what does that mean what cameras well we might as well just keep talking because if we know jihadi with a body it's not gonna yeah stop the recording even though he said he did so we had a good time pumpkin picking it was great really did have a good time you ate two loaves of banana bread which is a slight issue fresh banana bread from the first of all pumpkin picking it's the first time i've gone pumpkin picking and it's the first time you went pumpkin picking yes i'm a straight man i'm not you lucy i've been pumpkin picking multiple times yeah you that you do that for fun you didn't go pumpkin sorry you didn't go pumpkin because you got feminine tastes because it's what it is you didn't go pumpkin picking with your [ __ ] child care person who couldn't read or write no cuz who's that your nanny no she was your parents were working to the bone yeah no she was uh just a greek woman who uh was illiterate illiterate yeah yeah she never supported picking she never took me pumpkin picking uh but listen i i felt like it was a farce because they call it pumpkin picking so i was expecting we were gonna go cut them out of the vines at a farm that actually produces pumpkins but instead we went to a farm that doesn't produce pumpkins and they just dumped them on the floor and pumpkin picking is you picking one up that's what it is standing in line and paying it should be picking up she should be called picking up pumpkins she'll be calling driving out to a place to stand online to pick up to pay to go in to pick up a pumpkin and stand on the line on the way out to have your pumpkin weight and pay for it the same exact thing you would do at a [ __ ] key food yeah except a longer more protracted process yeah and you heard of your sneakers in the process picking bend over and get this pumpkin you want to go you want to go bend over and get this pumpkin that's what it is i went pumpkin picking once in california i forgot what place it was and you could shoot why why did you do that because i was out in california and it was october you were by yourself seriously was that by myself no i was not by myself i went with um my friends from home so you brought your boys from ridgewood pumpkin pizza well it wasn't pumpkin picking you could shoot pumpkins out of a cannon then you want to know why they call you a [ __ ] you could shoot portraits out of a game yeah you could shoot them out of a cannon that's what i did cuz i am [ __ ] enraged a little bit today why i just have had two match cups of coffee and i just am getting that urge to push people and i have to suppress it because shall we tell the chinese to stay inside no how how many degrees is it it's 55 they're safe yeah they're safe then but when the sun when we were waiting online pumpkin picking and the sun hit up and it went close to 75 i took off my jacket and delilah was running around acting crazy and i looked at you in the eyes and i said honey the chinese are about to not be safe because just the same way that you say i look drastically different with facial hair or not maybe we get along so well because i've noticed the same thing with you which is when you gel your hair you are like a viking god your face is like yeah a woman's wet dream yeah and then when you don't gel your hair when your hair is ungelled and you walk around especially when you're wearing yankee paraphernalia or a giants jacket yeah you look [ __ ] you look like a [ __ ] kid like an actual handicap i agree with you i totally agree with you but i am a little i'm starting to get a little bit concerned about your early onset because we're 11 minutes into the podcast and you just said that eight minutes ago no i didn't said that you i didn't finish it see that's how good i am okay you're that's how jacked up on cough you are is we got sidetracked and i brought it back yeah i'm right right jihadi with a body yeah yeah cuz make no mistake i got a hot water pipe uh in my shower uh in my bathroom and it gets really hot and make no mistake two days ago i got out of the uh uh shower and i backed up into the water pipe my accident was scrolling on and make no mistake it burnt the wart off my ass cheek and today a wart fell off my ass cheek because of the hot water piping yeah you have good luck yeah make no mistake you have no insecurities about anything really but i have realized the one thing that you do try to cover up is my butt is how wide your butt is now the problem is you do you have a you have a a spongy butt yeah like it is meaty but it's not abnormally meaty like it's not it's it's it's it's it's a big butt it's a big butt but but the thing is it's the it's the wideness of the legs your legs are so wide and you're and you're so wide as a human that it makes your butt look bigger you have wide you do have wide hips it's actually i've never really looked at it before but it looks incongruent to how handsome you are and it's hilarious yeah because because when you're destined to look like fred flintstone in 12 years but you told me you don't notice it in clothing in clothing you don't notice it so when do you notice it when you're butt naked you're running around screaming la puss because yeah make no mistake i'm in my early 30s and i still put my dick back and yell out la puss and laugh cause our personalities especially yours is probably the way huns were because they used to attila the hun today we're talking about attila hunting till of the hunt is what we will talk about it's a good segue by yani and the hanukk empire because what they used to do are you ready for wild today zack zack are you ready to get [ __ ] up zach's wearing a fat barn shirt is that where the farm fat farms are zach's wearing a fat bomb shirt zach take off your [ __ ] shirt no we're going to say this right now listen we appreciate all you patreon members members of the matriarchy but make a new mistake we need the patreon to keep growing because we never want to see zach wear a fat farm sweatshirt again yeah if we how many patriots are we at right now we're at 264. 264. we could get to 300 patrons we will burn zach's fat farm shirt live on camera if we get to 300 patrons we will burn it and we will buy him a lacoste sweatshirt so he could be a little less queens and a little more yeah so 300 patrons do we burn it a thousand patriots we burn zach's fat farm shirt with zach in it that's how the huns were yeah i mean the huns we keep doing episodes about how people were wild that's what we keep firing make no mistake history and nature are wild and if you look into history a lot of times in history when you're learning in school they kind of sugarcoat some of the darker aspects because it's school and your children and there's pta meetings and stuff but if you really talk about what the huns did they murdered pillaged and went [ __ ] wild yes and they started the journey to being a hun and the huns were uh they were a tribe they were tribe right that ended up existing probably around the ukraine hungarian bulgaria hungary and uh and the ukraine outside of the roman empire they were barbarians barbarians outside of the confines of the roman empire yeah and they were a wild [ __ ] bunch and this is how they distinguish themselves from other tribes they uh they descended from mongols asians they were asiatic um they probably mixed with some slobs maybe a little germanics who knows the tribe got a little multi-ethnic but the one thing that was consistent about the huns it was they had little dicks they had little pieces now they're little pieces are nice kids we've decided our parents are nice kids because they just got small penis yeah unfortunately my dad's dick looks like a belly button yeah and he's a nice guy but what they would do and this is this is not an exaggeration is when they would have children and some african tribes do this as well and you can see pictures of it uh the african tribes and evidence of it but when the when the child's head is still malleable it's still soft as an infant they would wrap it tightly wrap it really tightly in an effort to force it to shape like a cone yes and permanently form like a cone yeah so zack you could actually pull up a picture of what this is what they what it used to look like so they started to look like these asiatic people with these cone heads these long heads and they would also cut their faces they would cut their faces and burn it with iron so facial hair would never grow as an infant as an infant so you just grow up looking and knowing that you are going to be a warrior and kill that's what it is and i wonder if that's still to what if that's the reason still to this day why chinese men grow facial hair in patches do you think that could be it it could be i'm not even trying to be funny because it is they do grow patchy facial hair they do asian men do they do patchy lake here so maybe it's got something to do with that i don't know there's zach's phone up those are some skulls that they found in hungaria yeah and that is what uh the cranial uh hungarian what i say hungry yeah in hungary um and that is what the cranial um deformation that they force looks like look at that so that is actually that that is the result of squeezing a child's head until it forms like that so it stays that way it's what it is because when you're a baby up they're called fontanelles and it's just not it's like very light if you ever you know glued a construction project you know if you lay it down how that glue is not dry that's basically how your skull is for about two years and when you you could deform it to whatever you want earlier but also make no mistake i am almost betting to i would be willing to bet the entire sum of the patreon money that it caused a lot of brain damage and retardation in young uh and young um hunnish children it also probably made them a little crazy and that's why they went wild sure just like the nazis were given crystal meth yeah to go wild i bet you these kids because of their deformities went wild for that now attila the hunt was the leader of the huns and he was an extremely efficient yeah successful and ruthless leader of the huns now we say attila the hun we're calling him matilda because that's the names the romans gave him nobody knows what his real name is his real name could have been wing chun it could have been it's really actually this is a hun's real name yeah that could be his real [ __ ] name yeah or his name could just be barry yeah it could be and barry's just not that crazy enough yeah because make no mistake the italians uh the italians the roman kids were petrified of attila the hun yeah the other germanic tribes um were petrified of attila the hun because what he was really good at and what made him so genius in a lot of ways was psychological warfare yeah much like the nazis when you look back in history much like the mongolians like the terrorists today isis must like the terrorist people yeah zack's people it's psychological warfare they just get you they do ruthless [ __ ] in order to cause division and fear and just to get you fantasizing about the horrible things that'll happen yes so it's a [ __ ] wild tale we're about to tell and it starts with the children getting their heads squeezed at birth to become [ __ ] monsters yeah that are going to rape and pillage so attila the hun much like giannis was born to a life of privilege so attila the hun if he was alive today would have went to a quaker [ __ ] school because both his parents were royalty and he would have [ __ ] wound up until then if until him was alive today he would do exactly what giannis did born to a life of privilege go to [ __ ] quaker school meet up with you know kids who were into rap music and who would eventually own clubs and then just get shot in the [ __ ] leg because he's with the [ __ ] hanging out with idiots you know it's amazing much like much like the what was the guy i'm just i'm just what's the name of the chieftain that united the clans that defended um magna germania against the romans much like him who was kind of who was brought up roman and was a part of the roman military attila the hun had a lot of roman tastes a lot of smarts he had a bath house in his past little and yeah in one of his cribs like you you're you got a lot of creative tastes he was like he knew the roman [ __ ] but he lived outside of rome and led these [ __ ] wild tribes make no mistake if this was ancient times you would 100 be a ruler but you got a [ __ ] mean streak yeah and attila the hun make no mistake he was impaling deserters from his army he would put a spike through their butt and let them die over the course of two days you would do that you kind of do that through words on facebook yeah today you try to impale people on facebook and you make wild [ __ ] cucked out posts it's just the same weapons that it's just there's not you can't do what attila hun did but if you could have back then it's what you would have done you are unfortunately you are attila the hunt what was his name again the general uh i'm trying to find it the one who united you you who yeah we did a whole episode about it we did a whole [ __ ] episode uh he was the the chieftain who united first and general united yeah that's the one i got no the united stalls no this guy united um the tribes in magna germania and fended off the romans and we'll see armenia or some armenius it was armenius just look up the name arminius i'm pretty sure it's armenian we didn't talk about it we did extensively we did extend not armenius i'm not the one with alzheimer's and i'm older than you armenius was a chieftain of the germanic jerusalem yeah that's him yeah but we didn't talk about our music chris you live your life for like an explosion just did do you remember yeah yeah we did extensively not even a little bit german yeah we did a whole episode yeah he's the one no i know on german charms but when do we talk about armenius when we're talking about the german tribes there he's even celebrate like the nazis even celebrated him like when even before the nazis when germany formed as a country he was celebrated as one who united the germanic people because what he did was remember he was the the roman soldier who who who turned on roman and then from the inside [ __ ] joined the tribes and killed the romans and pushed him out i just don't remember yeah because you live your life like a [ __ ] explosion yeah an explosion of no perfume like your past is just all dust because it just you just kick up so much chaos yeah you don't even remember what's going on well we said we were saying in the car before that a lot of people don't think about balance in their life no and a lot of people just this is a great point this is actually a point that you had me thinking about for like ten minutes okay so say it right now okay then i gotta remember where i was sidetracked but this is really really good so a lot of people i think you know reactive and they just will do something and say something about someone like a friend of theirs because he or she made one uh uh you know gave them one critical piece of advice or gave them one told them one thing that they you know don't agree with and then they just want to throw that person out of their life a lot of people don't think about you have to weigh the balance of a friend how much positive they bring to you versus how much negative everybody will have disagreements with their friends and family once in a while but you have to think overall how positive this person is or isn't in my life and i always try to think about that and i was trying to think about is this person you know i always give people benefit of the doubt and i always let a lot of things slide because i think about if this person's very positive in my life then i just understand that not everything's going to be [ __ ] roses every day so you just have to think about it that way but if it's overwhelmingly negative then i like to just give them one last tongue lashing and then throw them out of my life forever bye i think i can describe it even a little better even though you're the one who said it go ahead i think what you what you meant to say uh well you know you meant to say what you said but i think the big part the thing that was most interesting to me is that people are so we're so narcissistic yes it's it's everyone is it's it's the flaw it's our childhood ego you have to do it that's what narcissism comes from so we expect people to be perfect right like so but that really means we want them to serve us right it's like you're you need to be perfect for me right but the point is as an adult above your narcissism which is what an adult ego is you realize nobody is perfect and it's unrealistic to assume somebody's perfect yes so like chris said you know if someone does a lot of great things for you right just because they may be wrong about one thing or say something wrong or make a mistake you know you have to be loyal to that person yeah because the good that they've done in your life life greatly outweighs a mistake here you can't expect people to be perfect only a child expects someone to be perfect right because the child wants me me me so that when the child finds out hey daddy's not perfect he cries and and rebels right because your daddy's like a god but an adult realizes there is no god and he's just people and we're all and my mother just turned off the podcast and do you know how i learned that real quick cuz because there were multiple people that i helped early on in their careers uh you got stepped on i helped them and then they turned around and when things weren't convenient for them with me in their life they stepped on me and not that i ever needed the credit but decided to forget how much i helped them i just learned a valuable lesson like where listen if somebody helps you big time you know it's not you can't just be uh let them roll all over you but you have to give people passes on things you have to the adult realizes that the life operates a little bit more in the gray zone yeah you can't expect things to be perfect yeah and that's why when you're the the political conversation now has become about two sides that are expecting utopian notions perfection there's no spirit of compromise here yeah and you're both full of [ __ ] you're both disconnected from reality yeah i'm talking to the far right and the far left yes you guys are reactionary utopian and full of [ __ ] and hypocritical yeah a little thing that i do to help me just under not that i not that i it's not a foolproof way but it's just my own thing and i just feel like it's probably for me at least right because i've this kinds of people i do this i do my thing on instagram anxiety tuesdays and i always on purpose put it out on a day other than a tuesday and i wait to see how many people just comment oh it's actually wednesday bro or it's wednesday and then i take a look at those people's profiles just real quickly and i just remember them mental note because i'm like if you're going to write it's wednesday and need to correct the day of the week for that you're probably a very selfish immature self-consumed person that i just i'm going to stay away from okay that's a little extreme but it's no it's not extreme because some of them are just having fun maybe a little bit well no but i know the ones around now we know who's going to be the leader who you're saying that's me but listen i don't do well in the cold yeah yeah that's true people used to live outside yeah you love the cold yeah and you pretend to be a nice guy but an axe can't even get through that head you're right yeah you're only a nice guy because there's other people cooking your pizza yeah and things are happy for you and you can just be a gay happy kid yeah but if your jeans were in another time yeah and somebody could not bring you ravioli pizza when you wanted it yeah you are gonna impale people cuz and back in the day you're gonna wipe out whole chinese yeah tribes and make no mistake i would have because i don't eat i don't eat meat or chicken so you would have to go find me salmon it's just what it is i would need salmon and pizza and if you can't find it you're gonna die i says here's the funny thing about chris is that he thinks he's being healthy because he doesn't eat meat so he'll have a piece of salmon and then he'll go have three pieces of chocolate cake no i don't i don't think i'm being healthy by not eating uh chicken or yeah you used to eat a lot of meat until that one doctor told you people eat too much meat well no but he also told you stopped eating sugar because you had pre-diabetes yeah you ignored that but you stopped eating chicken chicken so you didn't solve your problem i don't do it for i do i don't eat chicken or red meat because it it hurts my it's just it hurts my stomach oh i just have stomach issues so it's really my gi doctor that said stop eating it and it'll help with your stoma help with your stomach pain and it has and guess who's another cutie who didn't eat chicken or steak add off hitler he was a vegetarian right he was a vegetarian kid yeah he was because same reason he uh chicken and meat uh hurt his stomach now obviously i don't mean adolf was a cute kid it was just a joke i'm not pro hitler i think what he did was disgusting i'm not pronouncing i think they do is disgusting i just happen to look like them and thought their uniforms are cute here's what i realized when we were researching the huns yeah um back then people were just closer to nature so they acted closer to what animals act like because nature is brutal nature is amoral and it's it's about survival right i hate to tell you there is no god in nature there is no god in nature yeah look at the picture we're looking at right now whether it's photoshopped or not there uh a hyena somewhere in the world right now or an animal somewhere in the world right now is laying disemboweled on the floor being eaten alive by other animals and that is the norm that's what's that's the norm yeah that is not that is not the exception that's not a rogue yeah that is the norm that is the norm of nature yeah predator eats prey predator and prey and it's vicious and there's no morality morality is invented by humanity because we have imagination and we requested order for ourselves and make no mistake you had brought this up and i thought about it if there is a god if there is a god or whoever the simulators are whoever created this thing is a little bit uh sadistic unless there's some deeper meaning that we just don't understand yet because they put the protein that animals need to survive inside of other animals so they have to kill them and eat them and go through carnage and horrifying things need to happen to them so another animal can live if there was a nicer person they could have just put the protein in the air and then we could have just breathed in the protein but it's in the meat because make no mistake whoever created us was kind of a dick yeah i mean or just like it's a [ __ ] laugh you don't want us to we have survived when people say don't eat meat it's like you don't understand how humanity has survived we have survived by imitating the animals sure the way we survive in the cold is by looking at how animals survive flying birds yeah we're like we looked at an animal said oh this animal has a big fur coat so how we're going to survive in the car we're going to kill that animal and steal his fur coat so we can serve survive for years yeah so we survive by imitating the animals to say not to eat meat is highly naive now i get it you're against factory farming i am too but the protein that we need to survive is in the flesh of animals and that's why animals eat other animals so in nature there is no god now that doesn't mean there is no god maybe we needed to evolve into humanity to have the imagination to be able to discern god but in the state of nature god plays no part luck sometimes plays a part but mostly it's pure meritocracy it's this animal's faster and better on this day and he catches you there's a little luck playing like oh maybe there's a rock that made the impala slip and then the and then the lion catches it yeah but for the most part the best lion hunters become the highest ranked lions and they run the pride and if he takes over another pride and there's a man that has babies what does he do he eats he kills those babies he eats them he doesn't even eat them he mauls them and throws them out it's what it is okay what it is watch planet earth one or planet earth two and you really see the game of nature in [ __ ] hd right in front of you because every animal is born with a certain advantage and disadvantage and there's another animal born with just the opposite what the animal's disadvantages is the other one's advantage and vice versa and it's how the game is [ __ ] played won and lost and it's [ __ ] wild what you just said is very true and it is absolutely fascinating and if you haven't really focused on that when you watch nature documentaries and stuff start to because it's amazing because what chris said is so true yeah it's like the cheat is fast but he's not strong it's like the hot and that's what makes hyenas are just wild yeah fajitas run around on broken legs yeah you can't they're not fast the thing that they have is the straw i think they actually can you look this up they have pound for pound that's the strongest bite of any mantle mammal i believe yes and that's i believe their strength but to get to you is like they basically steal they're by any means necessary type of animal yeah whereas where they need to be because they can't really track things down yeah they they don't coordinate like uh the wolves do although they are smart and they hunt and that's why they mainly steal kills they make you do it and they steal it they steal because they're smart and it's smart in a [ __ ] conniving way yeah be honest with you but my point is people back then were really close to nature it was actually like when you watch game of thrones yeah the hyenas have a stronger bite force than any other mammal wow look at himself yeah my the hyena facts are strong with me yeah yeah as you're getting a blowy from a hyena wow not cute not cute brutes ow brutes so since people like chris has pointed out before in the podcast which is very fascinating and it really hit me today people didn't really move around back then to be able to travel 10 miles or 20 miles or 100 miles took a lot you had not only just because things were slower and you were going by horseback but you had to worry about food and supplies and water and things like that so people basically stayed in their areas and so the the people were really different and very different looking so it was kind of like game of thrones and all these science fiction shows in the way that certain people evolved just like animals to look very different than other people yeah because they only bred with those people sure so they were shorter people taller people fatter people and the huns were a tight that the tr what i'm saying is all the tribes look very different it's not like today where we still have these differences but they're they're starting to bleed together like isis's parents is one's palestinian well the other one's puerto rican you're a little bit irish a little bit you know back then it was like you were an angle or you were a saxon what it was or you were a greek or you were an assyrian or you were a sumerian or you were a sub-saharan african or you were chinese in that area whatever the zing dynasty and you looked and acted very different and genetically you were very different yeah because there wasn't a lot of breeding between them going on so it was like these huns can you imagine the terror that they instilled when they showed up at the walls of your city in places like nicest which we're about to talk about which is in modern-day serbia or constantinople you saw which is modern-day istanbul yeah you saw 30 000 strange looking hominoids yeah you saw weirdo [ __ ] um asian looking with [ __ ] with with wait yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding with wild shaped [ __ ] dan aykroyd coneheads yes running at your [ __ ] town on horseback on horseback tell about how crazy it was with horses yeah yeah so but imagine that imagine you know how when you're a little kid bert from bert and ernie scares you just so scary burt used to scare [ __ ] at me imagine like thirty thousand burp puppets because we're modern day burt and ernie we are we are about a day bird dirty yeah but imagine birds cause their heads were long like burnt yeah with scars on their face so no facial hair can grow they had these slits now the slits they look like it looks like a george foreman grill on each one of your fish a gills on a fish on your cheeks and it was like burned into their face and these guys had the look in their face because they were all brain damaged from the way their heads were shaped all they knew was murder that's it they didn't even feel danger these people were they lived outside the huns they would they had these women in these mobile wagons which we'll put up on our patreon what their wagons look like not like a modern wagon you would see in you know the west in america it looked like a like a moving like hershey kiss or something it did and the and the women would just raise the kids to puberty in those small little wagons and they would never settle they were a nomadic people the huns they didn't have a home stuff like you were born in one you had no idea where you were born or how old you were you weren't born in a you were just born on like one piece of a plane and then you moved to because the hungarian plains was like i think it was like 3 000 circular miles of just grassland that that's where the horses lived and ate because you could in the hun empire you you were even the shoes you wore you couldn't you could barely walk in because they were only designed to attach into a a saddle yeah here's the crazy thing about the huns uh this may be my favorite episode and this blew my head the most yeah and what i'm saying you got a little [ __ ] head i do have a peanut head which means i'm probably there's some reason for it yeah maybe i was a hun at some point because make no mistake a hun would have [ __ ] saw a little peanut head laughed at it cut it off and then stuck it in the cannon and shot it into the enemy's wall yeah i mean people back then just evolved they just were different breed closer to the animals the strength of these people they were shorter but to be able to lift a sword shoot arrows on the horse the the the mobility you had to have on a horse to be able to shoot 3 360 degrees with a bow and arrow on your horse these kids who were huns they survived so hard it was like if you were weak and couldn't ride horseback it wasn't like you wouldn't be an effective hun you they would just kill you that's what it was the the huns they even were described by uh roman historians as being bowlegged because i bet you in a lot of ways they were riding horseback for so long from when they were little that they actually all developed a little bow leg to fit on the horse huns and horses the reason why they were so successful is because of the they were attached to their [ __ ] horse and they came up with these special saddles that were like had a little more support in the front and the back which allowed them to be able to turn 360 degrees which is nuts which is nice it's like a moderate it was the equivalent of having like of everybody else being in like you know uh little [ __ ] hummers with you know your little [ __ ] guns versus that's like a modern-day tank yeah what they were to be able to fire 360 degrees back then was such an advantage it was crazy i mean there was one story where the roman empire roman uh roman army got completely obliterated and went back to rome and said oh they had five hundred thousand men but the truth was they only had thirty thousand men and what the huns were actually outnumbered four to one but because they were all they were basically sewn into their horses firing arrows 360 degrees that they just massacred a roman army that they had to come back the romans had to come back to save face and just [ __ ] lie they lied about it just like dr christine ford you don't care i'm kidding i'm joking obviously i'm joking they know i believe her i'm just kidding yeah i believe all women yeah no matter what they say yeah so basically the way your imagination can wrap your head around this the way to really grock it is the way you just said grockett you dumb [ __ ] the way to grock grock's a good word croc is a good word but you see what i just did there you just like calling like i did that as a joke but people do that seriously just to a need to correct yeah and and all i see when someone like that does that has to correct anyone yeah unless it's a critical thing we're talking about someone's giving you some type of advice that's going to critically injure you or really disable you or set you back there's no reason like you just said grok and i did that to prove a point if i was the kind of guy who really had to correct you yeah it's because i'm an insecure weak little [ __ ] of a [ __ ] person and those people out there who do that why they just make these little [ __ ] corrections it's like listen [ __ ] yeah okay yeah no yeah it's like just yeah just [ __ ] listen put the pipe down chrissy you insecure little [ __ ] yes so what if i said one thing wrong or posted one thing wrong or it doesn't for the reason for you to correct is not for me it's for you and that's what [ __ ] bothers me to my core is how many self-interested fat [ __ ] selfish [ __ ] there are in this [ __ ] world that you see constantly and i'm [ __ ] not the brightest or best or smartest guy by any means but i will tell you one [ __ ] thing cuz crystal clear with us crystal [ __ ] clear i was born with two feet in brooklyn some may say queens but i say brooklyn new york and i [ __ ] check myself every [ __ ] day and you will not ever or very rarely ever catch me you will very rarely rarely really catch me doing something that is not coming from a place of strength yeah i'm trying to come from a place of strength yeah and i'm thinking about congregate place of strength because these people just go [ __ ] unchecked yeah they just go unfucking check if you're the kind of guy or girl and you're you're older and you feel like you need to correct everybody and you need to call on someone and talk to someone about your problems for three hours you're just self-interested narcissistic weak and insecure and you need to [ __ ] fix it wow this has been by steel pipe christie d yeah we need a [ __ ] steel pipe chrissy d uh we need a song raphael de luca you're on it i'm just ordering one now yeah i'm ordering one on the podcast rafael go make a steel pipe chrissy d theme song cause christie just went wild and showed you people why if he was to exist in history he would be attila the hun and i would be his [ __ ] because i would have corrected him and i would have been impaled on a mountaintop yeah i would have made you a little [ __ ] eunuch yeah yeah you would have loved it you'd have been cut those balls off chris yeah cause i think you would have been a really mean leader because you pretend to be a good guy but but what up what what i just said am i wrong you're not wrong you're not wrong i don't know if you're right but you're not wrong i get fired up you got fired up i just get [ __ ] mad when people just don't you're cutting a wrestling promo now yeah because i just get [ __ ] mad at people when they just you have to figure it out life is difficult yeah but life is not easy i wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth and by no means am i saying i'm better or worse than you but i figure it out it ain't easy kid while it's german it ain't easy this kid everybody wants it to be easy there's no shortcuts in life once you'll understand one thing about life and one thing only when you understand what i'm about to say life isn't fair yeah stop trying to make it fair it is not fair yeah you heard it it has never been fair the rules of the game are as follows yeah it is not fair it is about nepotism the most talented will not always make it yeah you may not get what you want in life that is okay yeah all you need to do is get up every single [ __ ] day yeah and try to work a little bit harder but even more important that a little bit smarter because a lot of you [ __ ] oh boy a lot of you [ __ ] i think you're working hard yeah but you and you're not you're working dumb yeah you're just working like a [ __ ] idiot and it's not it is not my responsibility to take care of you if you haven't put in the work yourself because guess what i sacrificed my 20s to get a doctor in physical therapy to set up my life so guess what you're not paying my rent i'm paying yours wow yeah it is wow you have no sympathy today yeah i just had too much coffee and i just had too much coffee and i've been watching that show man in the high castle yeah where the japanese and nazi hike won america and i get fired up yeah cuz what i just said maybe is a little overboard but it's not a lie no i think it's i think what you're saying is was fun to listen to yeah i think i'll say that i think there's a lot of truth in it but i think it it's ironic in that you're issuing an an edict when the edict is started with understand that there's a gray song yeah where what you're saying is there is no gray zone it is this way yeah but that's what it's like to be human and that's why it's comical to be us that's why it's commonly because and that's why one thing i do understand that we're just walking bags of chemicals love pain what you're feeling of its emotions how many times do people change their opinion i mean mayor bloomberg's a [ __ ] democrat now you know because he wants to win an office so things just change so just go day by day don't worry don't worry people get self-consumed with the worry do not worry stay in the present well one of my favorite philosophers is plato and he said there was two realms you know you got the platonic realm and then you got obviously the realm that we occupy right the platonic realm is perfect you can uh you know you can mathematically predict the perfect circle you can have perfect ideals but even mathematically in the realm that we occupy a perfect surfboard does not exist mathematically you cannot create a perfect circle because of whatever these rules of nature are whether they were created by simulators or god or the big bang or whatever you want to call it for some reason in reality you cannot achieve a perfect circle but the idea of a perfect circle exists so it's wild so what you were talking about i think is sort of a no-nonsense approach to the rules of this realm yeah in your dictatorship in your kingdom yeah you're saying don't talk to me about your problems because i was brought up in ridgewood queens and i had to figure it out with my two deformed feet in ridgewood no it's not even that even when somebody i'll say even when somebody says oh so and so had to learn that you know i i had to learn it this way i had to go through through this so now you do too it's like shut the [ __ ] up you have to go through it because you have to go through it something that i went through that was difficult i would never make someone underneath me go through that if i could help them if there was a if i had found a better way but there's these people like nope i had to do it now you have to do it it's like yeah just shut up with your self-consumed narcissistic [ __ ] okay it's not about what are you referring to specifically um give me an example because i believe there are some certain universal things in the human condition that if someone who went through it one way they would i think it would be accurate for them to say this is what the route is because it's one of the universal patterns no no like schooling it's like listen i'm not saying screwing i'm just saying lessons i think they're trying i don't have a good example now but somebody had said something the other day where i was listening to them in conversation i'm just forgetting and they said well i did it that way now you have to do it and it was just like yeah dude like you're they don't have to do it that way anymore i just i forgot what it is i just think a lot of people are just very self-consumed with themselves and they don't ever really unplug and think about the other person and i don't think they put uh themselves in other people's shoes enough and i do too and sometimes and i do and sometimes it causes me to uh put my uh feelings and pain and emotions in second place but i think overall i feel like a better human being thinking about others and i just when i get really rowdy like this i'm just going to say it accurately and it's probably just what it is i just want to suck a dick that's just what i want to do so so when i get like that it's just what it is i just think about men so there we have it that was just one huge road to chris wants dicks yes because just the way he came out yeah that's just the way he came out it was just a long guy you know he put up all these defenses and they just said you know what this is all just a distraction from me just wanting some sweet [ __ ] but it was entertaining i hope it was look in the ancient world you would have fared very well here's the thing this is why you're so successful in this world in in 2018 i believe because you come from such a different era of wild because back then you just would have been a normal kid yeah you would have been a normal hun yeah they would have been like what is chris doing i'd be like he's running around with his dick between his legs banging toots eating ravioli pete's drinking 10 cups of coffee he's he's rotating a couple of kids on his fingers i don't know what christy d is doing and they're going oh that's just another day being a hunt yeah so today people think you they you they look at you and they say this kid just must be magical the way the native americans probably looked at the europeans when they first saw them like these must be gods cause real humans don't act like this yeah because you are from another era even your head suggests yeah that you come from another episode i'm a time traveler yes i think i am i think you are cuz because you got a big [ __ ] head i don't even think an axe could penetrate and i got a wide body and why are you scared of ghosts because make no mistake i've been in my new place two months so that's about 60 days i would say honestly 51 days at about between the hours of 2 and 4 in the morning i have darted out into the middle of my living room looking for a spirit because i heard a noise this episode is going to come off very coked up we feel we sound coked up because the till the hunt got us pumped we got us pumped and the coffee got us pumped it really vegan coffee really does the track yeah it really did so what did we do i cut you off now what the [ __ ] were we talking about with the till of the hunt it was a fun ride you took us on i am i'm sorry to the groups that i just [ __ ] went nuts i don't know where that came from but i apologize i i don't know where it came from either but it was exciting and it was definitely steel pipe chrissy it's in there yeah you i think you just exercised some demons you got some things off your chest because everyone's human and you are very tolerant person you do have you're very tolerant with people's yeah insecurities people's stupidities people's redundancy i don't feel the need to correct someone all the time i just feel like unless it's going to really damage like there's been times at the comedy cellar people part of that is just because you don't care i just don't care yeah so i don't know if that's a virtue necessarily i think it's just your the way you're built you just don't care i've asked you about this multiple times since you know for the years we've been hanging out i said the fact that i don't care about anything is that a problem i've i've been concerned about it because i just don't care if it's not something to do with my daughter's health yeah or or something that's gonna uh uh you know help help her life i just don't really care about anything even sports i like to watch it but i don't [ __ ] care i don't really care i don't think it's a problem i don't think it's a problem i don't know yeah i mean i think you just have your priorities right you just know that ultimately it matters but not to the level where you'd lose your mind over it like you know and it's a healthier way to go about it like when the yankees lost in playoffs i felt hurt for about 12 hours like yeah you just you just went on with your life i just went on i mean i mean look i'm not i i mean i wish they would have won but you're basically asking are you really sos is what you want to know yeah because there's times where i feel like i should really care now and i don't care you're gonna have to talk to a therapist about i don't know yeah do you think he's so s i'm looking up like are you sociopathic yeah let's find out what he is because he's definitely got a head from another era yeah i just think you're a little because you're you're watching to be funny it's small it's small you look like you're the street car named desire i my body my body went from like being cute to brutes in a couple of months yeah i mean you had anthony esposito the owner of badass academy and bay ridge which guys go check out badass academy uh it's a great [ __ ] gym you get [ __ ] shred in there you're the owner of a badass who's a great guy saying about six months ago he's like yo giannis is looking jacked to now he said get rolly ass giannis in here yeah i mean if i ripped my bicep muscle yeah and then it kind of went to [ __ ] from there because you're just to be honest with you yeah you're just put together i'm a cute kid now i want to take this time right now right in the middle we owe it we love you guys like a family we love you guys following us we love you guys most importantly the thing that we love the most and we want to thank you the most for is for posting on your instagrams and the stories and on your pages screenshots of the bay ridge boys episodes of the of the history hyenas episodes and recommending it to friends because that's what it's going to take you guys are our marketing department so that being said we have been remiss greatly remiss in not mentioning leslie mick and nelly leslie mcnelly yeah leslie mcinelli let's just tell the people what she did she was in africa mm-hmm and she brought us back a couple of [ __ ] coyote hyena wooden hyenas i gave she gave us two one for me one for you and i gave one to my daughter and make no mistake leslie i'll have you know it is my daughter's favorite toy yeah i mean i think they were hand carved wooden hyenas and they the the key chains have our names in them yeah it was the nicest it was such a nice thing leslie did for us and thank you so much leslie we appreciate it very much and we again we apologize that it took us we've been so wild we are the history hyenas for making no mistake we are so what you learn from this is that guys if we messed up and didn't read your name or if we missed that doesn't mean we're going to miss forever we will get to it well why just because it's good timing can we read out the newest members of the matriarch right now are you asking me i'm not the [ __ ] this isn't the fear of fumes role this is the dictator of steel yeah yeah this is chrissy dictator i'm going to start calling you chrissy the han yeah christie the hun chrissy the hud is a good name all right so fir so we gotta we got a lot of we have a lot of new members of the matriarchy so let me read them out we could just quickly hits but we just want to say before i start this i just want to say thank you from the depths of my [ __ ] peace for joining up to matriarchy and being a part of our crew because you have no idea how much this changes our lives and what a difference this makes in our life having you as the fans uh support us and make no mistake as we grow we will start to do live shows in your town and it's going to be kaka okay so first up welcome to the matriarchy colin stewart the wasp wow gabriel james velasquez yeah we are we are diverse laila solar cassava what kind of name is that sean s-h-a-w-n what's up kate that's black kid black kid yeah sabrina de felipe de felipe who looks like a piece christina serminara your piece staten island princess no yep another black keith johnson keith johnson what up brah melanie foley melanie foley hi adorner here's a substitute teacher named melanie miller melanie miller come to the principal's office for briefing here's someone who joined from the auto body shop he works at orlando diaz joe moxley joe moxley wendy williams wendy williams from the radio welcome talk to me talk to me about remember the matriarch yeah blair burke blair burke oh blair blair burke's uh she's a big fan blair here's another piece jennifer gray michael krugman michael krugman what's up you just white guy white guy jamie cruz jamie crosby jose pallagio yo what's up pelagia hi doys mom's sauce ready corey selton corey celtic blackhead blackhead here's an irish riley mcgill ryland can you cut me a burr well here we go dr harvey spencer jr wow that is a doctor that's a black doctor harvey marvie no no that's a wasp harvey spencer no dr harvey spencer jr right on the patreon wall what your ethnicity is yeah are you black or are you white hailey romeo haley's comment and then another last one fumeless blondes okay and then here we go james brown black kid edward dale what's up edward dale eddie dale what's up cat uncle ricky swinging stickies yeah get creative with these names nicodemus papalodupus yeah we got greeks kiara black girl scott davis she's got oh that could be black kid black kid here's our and one of our favorites right here nora cupcake company they must have upgraded they keep upgrading nora cupcake company in milford connecticut thank you thank you for your service lauren nicole we uh we read these last week cuz um um cason carr oh cedarian hayes yeah we read these last week tom zappia jonathan evans keep it tight yeah jeremy martinez quintana yeah just read them anyway not takansky yeah rudy reyes kyle schleed jay hathaway marion baird jonathan kaplan kim cw jonathan urina kevin taylor this girl says from the patreon denise gomez hey guys i don't think i ever heard my shout out but i was pleasantly surprised to hear my name on the comment denise gomez you are shot it out okay let me just finish these teddy tanzer christopher d yeah um and andrew coke cesar martinez denton goodin leo p joelle nunez rob house david marshall jay kakuka cute we're big in liberia christa mattis rishi uh that's rishi we know rishi we know rishi big mac pseudo penis emporium eddie boston yeah andrew leon bochovich vince calderon jessica sadical dvnt underscore pinky um and yeah and then real quick because i have just uh a couple more who you guys sent us yep here we go so uh jess t o five nine four um oh jessica thetical that's just cathartical we just read your name thank you for your service marianne bayard thank you um christopher d we just read that's you big mac pseudo penis is actually me and then this is a big one and i said i would do it and we're gonna say it even though you didn't join the patreon i believe you will after this jennifer kp98 sent me a message hey chris it's my boyfriend's 21st birthday oh he is a patreon member and he didn't get a shout out when he became one i know it'd be probably the most [ __ ] wild thing to happen to him we love listening to your guys podcast and makes it any bad day turn into a great one keep up the great work and don't forget to drink your smoothies his name is john de la garza and he is a cute kid so i promise uh jennifer and here it is happy birthday john de la garza from the boys happy birthday thank you so much for your service and your 21st birthday i hope you're still alive yeah so guys don't but you see you see how big the [ __ ] matriarchy is growing it's great it used to just be five names yeah now we're [ __ ] taking six minutes to read through names because of you guys so tell your friends the matriarchy is growing the pseudo penises are getting bigger and bigger and bigger and as i get more spiritual and connect more with myself make no mistake i will once or twice or maybe even thrice put a couple of those pseudo penises up my butt yeah why the hell not why not our matriarchy is growing from the roots from the from within the same way the huns as the huns grew and they grew more bloodthirsty because make no mistake attila the hun let me just let's just because we're almost out of time here let me just let let's just understand one thing attila the hun did not kill for power he did not kill to make his empire bigger he did not kill to steal he killed for fun he was killed for destruction yeah he loved money but there's no question but he but whatever pact or treaty was made between him and rome or other tribes he was known to just break it didn't care the same way hitler made these treaties and just broke them the way i till the hun was these guys were sociopaths yeah very evil attila hun was just a destructive guy and the thing that he loved to do most was pillage and destroy it's what it was that's what he got off on yeah that's what he liked to do and they would just go run through villages and they would murder children men uh women they would wear the children they would wear um the skin of children on their legs they wore this kind of children on their legs they were just the things out of a nightmare now again the big controversy is is this true is it not true because almost all of this in fact probably 100 of it comes from roman historians comes from roman accounts because people who are doing this and are this good at military tactics and causing chaos they're this good at that because it's the only thing they do right they were like specialists on those horses right they don't they don't write history they don't create civilizations they don't do anything else except plunder and so we only have accounts of them from the romans and from uh and from other winners right to history books exactly the rails right well not only the winners even though they didn't win well they were the only ones who had pens i mean the huns didn't have even [ __ ] pens they didn't care but they were but a lot of roman riders who would go and visit these until uh these punished cities they thought they would find barbarians and unclean men and disgraceful stuff but they didn't they found civilization they found bath houses they basically the huns took the roman culture and just copied it for their own lands outside the empire well attila did attila did tell it attila did in one location like yeah he had a little bath house and stuff like what it was yeah but uh and at the way it's funny because attilan was such a crazy uh you know uh killer and you think oh did he die in battle and all his glory he didn't he died on his wedding night one of you know his tenth wedding he died because he just got [ __ ] hammered and ate so much meat and got so worked up and stressed out that he broke a blood vessel in his head and nose and he hemorrhaged to death in his death in his in his sleep so yeah he had a nosebleed right he had a nosebleed but some people he was only with his present with his wife that he married that night some people think he she may poison them yeah you don't know yeah and so after attila um the huns existed for a little while but uh they they lost only another 30 years after attila yeah they were done they lost some big battle around his death and uh then that was it for them and then the post the post attila huns ended up settling in uh yeah so when you when we try to find out who are the descendants of the huns they say it's bulgarians uh maybe uh some ukrainians that area ukrainia ukraine bulgaria australia hungary they're they're in that area right eastern european and um yeah they were asiatic people and they sacked constantinople which is [ __ ] wild they sacrifice the capital of the eastern half of the roman empire but i'm kind of happy they sacked them because that's more your people not mine the huns kind of dominated for a little while they [ __ ] really did and they did and the the interesting thing is they they dominated with destruction they didn't build anything now granted this was a weekend this is a time where the you know this is post constantine rome it's like a weekend realm so it's like a week in rome towards you know it wasn't that we're not talking about the rome right around the time of jesus when it was at his strength we're talking about a week in rome where it was you know bread and circus comfortable most of the warriors were mercenaries in fact the romans actually at first hired the huns to kill the goths which is wild yeah which is wild the huns gladly killed the gods because they left the kill and they took the gold to rome but then make no mistake they turned on rome that's what happened and then make no mistake the romans had to pay the goths yeah to try to kill the huns what it is but the but the huns killed the gods what it is so the huns always won so this was a time where you can almost compare it to like now how comfortable we've become you know it's what happens with comfort nobody wants to you know it's like my grandparents worked and worked in a restaurant but they don't want me to yeah i don't want to work in a restaurant right it's like and then new people come on work over you get comfortable and then you hire other people to do it same thing with the military which was a big job in the roman empire nobody who was actually a roman citizen wanted to be in the military anymore so they hired mercenaries a lot of times those mercenaries were germanic tribes and a lot of times that was the member of the germanics tribe's opportunity to become a roman citizen that was their way into rome so it was utilized so until the hun capitalized on that vulnerability yeah and he knew that you know the romans weren't as military military power like they were even their even their their their gear wasn't what it used to be they used to wear these metal armor and now they were wearing like they look a lot like tribes yeah but make no mistake i feel like you know even though it was different circumstances but it was just kind of in the same way as adolf hitler was just a perfect storm of bad [ __ ] that was going to happen kind of like you know weakened empire uh you know germany was all [ __ ] up and hitler rose to power because the people just needed a new light and all that attilden was just a psychopath yeah who rose to power probably killed his way there and when his uncles died he killed his uncle's sons who would be next line so he'd come to power and just prayed on a weakened roman empire so if attila the hun like anything else in life it's all about timing that's why i like told you read that book by malcolm gladwell the outliers if till the hunt would have been born 100 years earlier there would be no attila the hunt because he would have been squashed because the roman empire was that much stronger it's an interesting question what it is yeah how much it's in timing in life same thing if hitler was born 30 years later that germany wouldn't rally around him because they were already doing pretty good attila the hun did most of his i guess empire growth i guess you can call it a hanukk empire i guess it's called the hanukk empire with his brother yeah and then at the end he ended up killing his brother killed his brother on a hunting accident gone wrong it's what it is yeah but for the most part it was him and his brother working as a team until a tilde hun uh for some reason decided that his brother needed to come to an end the kid was a true blue sociopath i mean he was he was a wild kid they put him at the top even more wild than caligula even more wild than genghis khan he was a psycho he was a psycho and his brutality knew no bounds he was as brutal as hitler yeah there's a story of in his day when he first came to there was a a roman city called nicest which is in modern-day serbia right and it was the first roman city that he sacked before that he took the romans money and he made a deal and a pack to them and like i said he helped the romans fight the gods who were also the vizio goddess and the austria gods who were the romans were constantly fighting these germanic tribes but before that nobody had ever really sacked had really attacked and penetrated a roman city yeah and so he went to the walls of nicest and at first nicest because of how scared everyone was of the rumors of attila the hun they were just like look we'll pay off and he took the money yeah what he would do is he was so wild he would just trick you he'd go yeah he saw he'd take the money and he'd go but then he would come back yeah and he'd say we i have some deserters for my army this is and he was he was a [ __ ] he didn't forget nothing he was wild he was a vengeful kid yeah so he was like there's some deserters thank god he's not a member of our patron because if we missed his name once we would be impaled on our butts outside of our studios yeah yeah he's a little chris the teacher-ish yeah we love you chris the teacher by the way yeah yeah i'm chris the hun you're chris the teacher teacher one of our super fans we appreciate you dog but anyway so he went back and he said there's a couple of deserters in that city in exchange for those deserters i won't sack your city and they gladly turn those pieces of [ __ ] over yeah from his perspective piece of [ __ ] but they were probably just scared kids yeah who were just good and he took them and like chris said he impaled them so he put him on a pike from the [ __ ] yeah he used the hole between your cheeks as a candle holder yeah and he made a little bath and bodyworks candle holder yeah he put you up on that and you died slowly over a two days two days by bleeding out and being eaten by birds yeah it was not a cute way to go then he would keep you up there until you were just a skeleton for other [ __ ] deserters to be like don't be a dick yeah and then so the people of nicest were probably thinking thank god we got rid of him we gave him what he wanted we don't have to fight but guess what he came back again and this time he said what do you have to offer me they said we have nothing you've taken everything said yeah that's right now i'm here after you've given me everything to sack your [ __ ] city and quench my blood thirst it's what it is it's what it is and i'm gonna kill everyone for no reason so basically all in all until the home was [ __ ] wild i hope you guys enjoyed the episode as always uh please tell your friends about us i mean spreading the word nothing works better than just organic people or organic or just a good old organic spreading the word where you guys tell your friends you guys and girls tell your friends if you liked our podcast what you liked what you didn't like um to be a part of the matriarchy and get even more exclusive video and content for from us go to patreon.com bay ridge boys and be a member of the matriarch and you get a lot of [ __ ] cool stuff and it's not that expensive it's [ __ ] five dollars a month whatever you want to give whatever you want to donate we have all the tiers uh all um explained thoroughly now on our page we have a brand new welcome video that's funny and cute and uh yeah guys keep supporting us keep keep messaging us on what you think uh what you want to hear and uh yeah we love you on i love [ __ ] oh

Channel: History Hyenas

Views: 45,691

Rating: 4.9054055 out of 5

Keywords: Chris Distefano, Yannis Pappas, Chris Distefano Podcast, History Hyenas, bayridge boys, comedy, comedian, podcast, entertainment, commentary, comedy club, jokes, history, history class, stand up, hyenas, wild, yannis pappas podcast, new york city, atilla, atilla the hun, history of atilla the hun, huns, europe, hungary, attila the hun, attila the hun documentary, attila the hun biography, tim dillon, tom segura, jre, tim dillon stand up, bad friends, andrew santino, whiskey ginger, ymh

Id: csNZg8cI-h8

Length: 74min 1sec (4441 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 12 2020