Bringing a Bag of Pancakes Onto a Flight - Kyle Kinane

I'm trying to be more tolerant you know I'm trying there's too many everybody's got their own thing going on it's it's a waste of time to not be open mind alone and these things I'm trying to beat out but it's it's difficult that tolerance it's tested routinely I was on a flight going from Denver to Chicago and halfway through my flight midair 35,000 feet guys sitting next to me starts eating pancakes out of a bag not like a ziploc bag with like a little seal and like a hey I meant to do this vibe like a bag from the store not a store that sold pancakes Simpson like a footlocker bad they get me they're just loose they're just loosening like bingo balls just loose and there's nothing wrong with what he was doing morally speaking but you got to realize that if you do some wackadoo [ __ ] like eat pancakes out of a shoe store bag on an airplane you're forcing strangers around you into a world of questions they never anticipated they would ever have to ask first off what first off all the questions all of them first off every question why are you why how did you get to this point in your life where are you going because like it's not how do you wind up if you're on an airplane you're on there with purpose you're fighting gravity to travel through the sky to land on another part of the Earth's crust nobody's nobody's like waking up casually like Amelia Earhart like I think I'll take to the skies today you have purpose you have reason to fight nature to go somewhere else how do you have that purpose in your life but still do it with hastily packed hobo snacks in your midst that's not how you catch a plane you're like this one going southbound haven't seen grapefruit chill in a while drop in will share some beans that's not how you catch a plane usually get into an airport that's your number one priority in the day I don't care what happens I'm gonna get to that Airport you Kyle lose a hand I'll fix him when I get there just get me to the airport this guy was number four or five on his list this guy's like I know I got a flight but it is Tuesday and you know what happens on Tuesday silverdollar flappy's that's what happens Tuesday's Silver Dollar flapjack day a lot of people say hey how come you make the Silver Dollar ones I make them that way I don't make them full-size and make them smaller because I can eat more of them and I get more of a sense of accomplishment and so I like to do that and that's a lot of batter over there but I'll freeze it off I don't to eat them all but I'll make them all and I'll freeze them in Ziploc bags and when I need them I'll just have them ready what time is it Oh once around London buy some new shoes the other day footlocker bag shovel shovel not Bendel boxcar airport we made it and he got on the plane he's on the plane meaning we went through security he went through an x-ray machine his stuff went through pancakes got x-rayed that day a TSA agent somebody of the badge and responsibility if they were fulfilling even a fiber of their requirements of keeping the skies safe somebody had to at least just like mumble someone I'm sure I'm some it's just a bag of pancake it is oh it's paint pancakes yeah well I've never dealt with it before either I'm gonna say go ahead I don't know we might get an earful for this but it oh right now boy my gosh that's what I'm gonna say and when you eat pancakes out of a bag in a semi-public place there are rules first off let people know what you're getting into make a little announcement hey everybody I got a bag of pancakes over here don't get freaked out offer them around don't you have to go front and back just same row don't worry nobody's taking any it's just a gesture say there are in fact pancakes would you care for some no I understand then when you go to eat them with your hands cuz my man did not have a fork and knife on his person you eat them one at a time driver's ed style 10:00 and 2:00 you take a little nibble out of 12 and you hold in your lap so you ready for another bite you follow those rules go crazy hell I like your style way to usurp inflated airport pricing no I got my own good move this [ __ ] guy he starts off he's just rustling around under there he's just rustling you can't rustle on an airplane to stay it's suspicious he's rustling he's kicking up odors now we got people it's a breakfast I smell breakfast you're not supposed to smell food on a domestic flight all it takes is one paranoid weirdo be like I think I draw it fluid smells like breakfast we're going down now we're all in a panic cuz you don't know what hydraulic fluid smells like gets the bag out rips it open with a confidence like ya meetin all these [ __ ] rips it open starts rooting around in there doing this cotton candy thing rooting around but he's not looking in the bag he's looking up and off into the distance with this look a glazed determination on his face but kind of look you only see on the faces of people are neck deep in swamp water because they're gonna catch a catfish with their bare hands [Applause] get him pulls his hand out he's got two or three just in a grip in a fist he's not going discrete under the chin he's not going like hey I'm sorry for this under check he's going over the top just like 93 Jordan layup style just dropping them in then looking around with an attitude after each bite like snack time [ __ ] boo jealous much are you [ __ ] me I'm a delta gold member I got to sit next to this no syrup you go straight to hell cuz I don't know where you'd get syrup in a situation like this probably another bag see how this dude operates but even then unwritten rules of decent society state you open up that bag of syrup you pour it in your original bag of pancakes then you tie it off nice and tight and shake it around for even coverage cuz he might be making a bit of a mess but at least be like oh he's not gonna even dry like a psychopath you

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 559,193

Keywords: Kyle Kinane, Kyle Kinane comedian, Kyle Kinane stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, tolerance, acceptance, open minded, flight, airline, air travel, pancakes, pancakes in a bag, foot locker bag, hobo, Whiskey Icarus, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up, hobo snacks, flying

Id: rugeFZ7BG8g

Length: 8min 10sec (490 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 18 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/WilliamisMiB]

This is my all time favorite bit

[u/-MR-Funny-]

Do you have anymore Comedy Central videos?