Brilliant Idiots: F.B.I ( Faithful Black Intelligence) (FULL EPISODE)

it's so stupid Charlamagne tha God Andrew Schultz got a brilliant idiot and turn your great idea into a reality with sequential easy to Squarespace that's what we show is brought to you by today Squarespace makes it easier than ever to launch your passion project whether you're showcasing your work or selling products of any kind with beautiful templates and the ability to customize just about anything you can easily make a beautiful website yourself and if you do get stuck Squarespace is 24/7 award-winning customer support is there to help head to squarespace.com slash idiot for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code idiot to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain now let's start the show Hey quick announcements the matador tour presented by Monster Energy at outbreak is coming to Indiana this weekend Indianapolis Indiana helium comedy club then next weekend we're going to be in Cincinnati actually Liberty Township of Cincinnati still at the funny bone comedy club and we can after that we're going to Denver that Denver the Comedy Works in Denver and then that Sunday we're gonna be in Houston go to the end result calm for tickets tickets going fast to all the other shows man theater shows dot-com you can get the whole tour dates we're gonna add new dates to it but thank you guys so much for supporting man San Francisco is amazing for sold-out shows and all over to sold-out shows get the tickets early okay I hate coming to the city and you guys telling me to you can't get the tickets so you're you're buying them on Craigslist for four times what the they cost at the club just get the tickets now so you don't get [ __ ] over in that situation DeAndre shows calm thank you so much let's get back to the show now do we have Church announcements yes we do Andrew showed black men are faithful faithful marked is Dan your calendar June twelfth black men holy stank to their women we're recording this on June 12 a happy born day to my guy little Duval yes happy birthday his little Duval's born day and little vol you know being a selfless you know a giving yeah person he is yeah I'll make his birthday about himself of course you know put something in the ecosystem make the world a better place for everyone you know so he decided to drop a new record called black men don't Chiefy honoring a young man named Lonard McKelvey oh [ __ ] who is by far the epitome of what faithful lewdness looks like in 2019 yeah reformed [ __ ] I've had my day in the Sun and my life has gotten significantly better since I have stopped being an adulterer Wow troop didn't matter I've lacked poetically about that on this on this beautiful podcast of all right or so this is nothing new but why not stamp it yeah I not give an affirmation to people you know say yeah I think to to describe for you know me my closing the 800 800 my skin is much clearer really yeah I just say the cupcake just now and enjoyed it only because today is a national holiday which is national black men don't cheat they said black men don't cheat on them so I decided to indulge in one rice and it taste is so so delicious why do you think cuz it was guilt free yo-yo three is better than gluten free enjoy the flavor of faithfulness so [ __ ] good it is so the faithfulness is so delicious if you think sugar is sweet you should try being faithful hey put a little commitment in your cupcakes all I'm saying is this is a movement that I don't see why anybody could not get behind if you don't get behind this movement to me you just want to be miserable mash your question talk to me it seems like there is a group that is not exactly getting behind it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's quite shocking because this group is maybe the group that benefits the most from of women that we cannot have without each other like we need each other black men the black women black women need black men right why black women are upset about this I have no earthly I did it because black men are being faithful to their white women now I have said black men not a whit white women yeah you're allowed to cheat Wow it's almost it's gonna happen really hard it's inevitable really why what do you think only the only a black woman gets are just uh it's some ability of a black man no no I think black men are more faithful to white women during one time okay because winter time white women to cover it up right you know you know you don't get to see how flat everything is right Scott you in the summer summer everybody's out a white woman Taylor walk by so you need curves to keep a black man face there you go not necessarily you need curves to keep up a black man faithful if you're not a black woman okay now what about all the what about so you get a thick so curves need to be curves to keep like my faithful if you're not a black woman I don't need a curvy black woman okay so a black woman with your wipers these are Rivlin to a white with curves you're white you need ass gosh yes but either way a black man still a lot is you know white woman what about that's only because white people have not given us reparations yet now okay all you white women with black men faithful you need to push for reparations to be given to black people okay once reparations is given to black people yes and black men have to be faithful today white women then black women then black might have to be faithful to the white woman gotcha what a white woman that's just a consolation prize that's a consolation now here's a question for you know a lot of maybe the black woman listening right now yes what why why is a white woman a prize I think consolation the grand prize is that black woman [Music] [Music] but the truth of the matter is black men don't cheat am i right why would you be upset brothers are trying to better themselves that brothers are saying you know what let's change the narrative yeah brothers are saying let's be faithful to all women screaming it's not about them cuz it's not because it's really about you take back your power King you know I'm saying take back your power King a man that does not fall victim to his sexual desires the man that does not let those sexual desires and those urges overcome him yeah a very focused man yes say focus brothers don't let see right now - real quick - black gay men cheat on black gay men no they don't nah not at all by the way black gay men yeah what other black gay men way more focused way more devoted to each other way more yeah way more committed way like they've been on the black man don't cheat vibe real I can't speak I can't speak wholly to it you know what I'm saying I'm sorry listen gay men out there disputing me right now wondering why I'm speaking on their community right this is the brilliant ideas baby welcome yes what we do yes okay so econ behalf of community absolutely but I did see a gay man yes I did see a gay man on IMAX about to post that video cuz it's a great example I don't know if he was gay I just know that it was a woman trying to highlight him and he was like please allow me alone this I'm committed to somebody so I want to I want to get I want to get into that eventually but you think that black gay men are gonna be faithful to other black gay men you think that black men are now faithful to black women or everything yes it's a difference right I say black men don't cheat and when I say black men don't cheat I mean actual men I mean that when you get to a certain point in your life you grow up you mature you understand it was important now see time yeah I look at my father I look at my uncles I look at been in my life whose lives have been ruined because they have not been faithful to their partners I've never seen a man move on with a woman that he left a good woman for and prospered I just never seen it me personally I don't want to make those mistakes in my life I got three daughters at the house I love my wife life is great you know what I'm saying so I want to be a great example not just for my daughters in the house but also just for men in this world like it I hope to be in a relationship who really doesn't want to be in a relationship yeah all jokes aside who really doesn't like being committed who really doesn't like having a person to share that life with share the experiences know what Charlemont some people don't love themselves enough to be in a relationship out ego now when I was out here [ __ ] a whole bunch of different girls it was all ego-driven yeah when you let your ego drive you never reach a destination and eventually you crash that same thing about women driving but all I'm saying is I'm a black man ego ego ego ego is like when you cheatin with a bunch of women right yes and you're trying to feel your ego is literally like porn from an empty cup into another empty cup yup got a hole in the bottom so it never happened yeah you'll never be satisfied like never ever yeah what helps you really become a man when you say you know what I'm gonna really really be committed to what I know is real guys for me my wife and my kid so then so let's give some advice to these these young blacks out there trying to be faithful for the first time in their lives no so so real quick real quick well do you actually interrupt it but and so look so here's the thing young black men out here trying to be faithful young boys what up boy sorry trying to be faithful for the first time okay now what do you think that they should do say they're given a situation a girl sends them a salacious DM listen you're gonna make mistakes my brothers I'm not I'm not sitting there trying to act like y'all perfect you know I'm saying I'm not writing it right act like we don't sleep may I say one thing yes so fidelity for the black man is very similar to Christianity right talk to me we're flawed we're going to sin but that doesn't mean that we're not Christian yo I agree with you but I think when you get to a certain point there's no room for error like I don't have no room for error right now right yes but if I make a mistake right now I've made a conscious decision a conscious choice knowing what all the consequences could be knowing that my wife could leave me knowing that I'm gonna end up being a goddamn single father who has the [ __ ] go see his daughters all weekends like I know I'm gonna have to give up half like this knowing I'm breaking a woman's heart that loves me you know eternally like a sec I'm making a conscious decision a conscious choice at this point in my life that's why there's no room for error right you know I'm saying but that's why I said black men don't not boys black boys I don't know what they doing like real [ __ ] don't know what she doing yes you know and by the way you could be a 40 old grown-ass boy as well right you know me so and and you know I'm just asking from outside perspective do you think that there are any cultures that do cheat well okay well listen I can't I can't speak for any of those I can't speak good for the old people what would you just assume what is your take on the Latins and their fidelity I would say that I don't think Latins are like what Puerto Rican Dominican what else I think Mexican that works for me I'm gonna tell you why I don't think they see ya cuz they're women always pregnant so it's like that they have like you'll see one Latino woman have a lot of kids and I'm saying right dude I think you're on to something that's what I'm saying like a tone remix Latin men don't cheat listen if y'all listen for all coaches that want to remix the record do it treat the beat like it's a rhythm you know what I'm saying and do it you're not I mean if the Latin people want to rap do it right white may want to wrap it I don't think it's anything wrong with spreading the energy of fidelity the 41 part of black culture that is not appropriated Charlemont really uh-huh you don't think you don't think all men would adopt this and say yo man I'm focused on faithfulness you're not gonna admit you a cheater right so so not embracing it is it meaning you're a cheater I'm not a cheater now and RINO Chi by the way I used to always use and use an example all jokes aside no he might have changed now but I used to always use Andrew and Paul Ritchie as an example of two men I know that were totally devoted today women now Paul don't songs he'll marry salute to my guy Paul Paul got a beautiful family like I do mm-hmm when Andrew was with one certain person called away committed committed committed and guess what she was a black woman that's all I'm saying [Laughter] [Music] you don't even know how to talk on the mic Jesus first of all right now because you acted like a princess [Music] Tayla is convinced to change these people on Soundcloud like you too way to make it by yourself on black men's day ok it's not about age agent age maturity does not come with here's a better question when we win a black women gonna stop cheating black women cheat oh my god you did not know that women cheat more than men you do not know this survey just came out if I says that women actually cheap more than when she says she want to be a hot girl is some Oh hot girls are getting pregnant young Miami pregnant what Tokyo Jets pregnant whoa all right cardi B already got a baby boy make the stallion on her waist I'm worried about the trap made so no but that's it that's a problem for me says who Taylor that's morning you got hoes do you hear what she just said she just said I don't she right now you're pissing off all on Soundcloud listen today we're sitting there right this is why we don't want her on the podcast you helping guys cheap you helping guys cheap whoa wait a minute you're helping guys cheat on their black girlfriends oh by your hooking up with them how do you know me well you me I do the background check you got hoes y-you do background checks all over oh my god I just got some research why are millennial women cheating more than men that's a great question maybe they don't have a song to point them in the direct right direction hot girls [ __ ] got me [ __ ] up that's my summer song anthem I make you got black men [ __ ] up Ryota really doing right now with black discuss the black men changing our narrative and you know what's gonna happen our women not gonna be on ball with us cuz they gonna be too busy I didn't wanna be hot girls and then you know what's gonna happen y'all gonna start [ __ ] Asian women like us whites hey why don't you pick one Mike to be faithful to for the rest of your life with all these mics whoa so what you doing going deets wow wow wow that's crazy that's crazy if you ask me about that why because do you make out with them with your mouth you'll kiss them on the kiss them with your tongue did use saliva I'm just trying to say oh I do value because I value you enough to let you know when you have limitations in being on phone is one of your limitations and I don't want you in the line of fire and you keep putting yourself in the line of fire see you think it's funny but we have listeners who think otherwise so who should I listen to keyword I you iiiiii we have a audience it's a we hear faithful faithful and black she's really trying to change the narrative part not being good on this block you know what you put a bar out there that that Fetty WAP little uh Fetty WAP wink you're blind to them you know I know you're proud of that wood God God said for me too you know what this is one time and one time only uh-huh one-off Oh for you to wrap bless the people with the bars I'm saying this is one off no one-off thing you know I'm saying that's all just to get the good word out there this is a great positive message and the spirit moved me right to do that you know cuz it wasn't about you it was it was a lady this record is not about me this record is not about Duvall it's about black men as a whole and not just black men the black community we're talking about the black family right right which historically has been black black but also dysfunctional for a number of reasons okay you know what I'm saying like movie it's a lot of broken homes in the black community right and I'm saying so you got to bring back that unity of black love and rights family structure so how do you bring back the black family structure by encouraging men to be faithful to their women right and being happy with your family right that's what we're doing this is not about us in any way shape or form and I don't see how anybody can be against this message I really don't like how would you just by the way yeah you know I love I love my sister's but there's no reason for you to ever be against a brother that's saying we want to be faithful man you want to be committed we want to be monogamous we are being real Taylor what makes you think we're not being real so is the song about wanting to be faithful I would say freeing faithful being being yes not striving to be I mean some people may still be scribing - but guess what if you make something look wack enough if you make something look lame enough like infidelity life's cheating yeah like man I want to be cool so in order to be cool imma find me one woman to be faithful JD you don't think jay-z looks cool with me on say yo that's a good point you know what I'm saying so here's my chef curry look cool are you sure Oh chef Cohoes come on no way come on everybody would be telling on staff yet oh my Steph got hos everybody you know why he be telling all I'm definitely to goody-two-shoes say what he plays to goody two-shoes if Steph had what bunch of women they'd be telling on him left in right stuff got hos bro he got tattoos he got and by the way I don't think it's possible to have that those a bunch of women in 2019 if you a celebrity I think of this now with social media bro these girls these girls want attention more than they want all the benefits that come with being a son you got a side chick you got to be good at we had a we at least saying on the podcast and she was talking about this every one of these big guys has a dude in their corner they pay a quarter million dollar a year and he vets everything restaurateur NDA's Indian [ __ ] show violate that [ __ ] and a judge won't give a [ __ ] yeah you know I [ __ ] is weird we're always talking about this about how stupid women are like NDA only matters if you could lose something in a lawsuit and all these girls are broke and she goes what are you gonna take take from me your red bottoms so you know what they want what the money's going attention yeah you know what not II can get a book deal or a reality show so you gotta [ __ ] with people could also lose [ __ ] and that's what a lot of these I think I don't think like these high-level celebs I don't think they're [ __ ] with like her rats I don't think they're [ __ ] with Instagram models I don't think they're [ __ ] with it I think they're [ __ ] with like high-level execs that are badass I think they're [ __ ] with like TV chicks that are hot like girl who could also lose their career or whatever they would want to do if it was out it I agree with you nice to feel that same way but what I have realized a lot of these dudes really are focused and faithful right that's why they've gotten to the levels that they've gotten to right because really all that [ __ ] is a distraction I mean you got a bunch of different women bro it's a distraction like it's a it's unnecessary stress it gives you unnecessary anxiety like if you got girlfriends but that's just [ __ ] it's not that such thing anymore and by the way we say just [ __ ] it yeah but just [ __ ] might bleed you haven't just the baby no I'm just STD those wrists bro you can't you get to a certain point your life you just can't take those Richmond yeah you gotta learn from other people's mistakes every great man we've seen again have been brought down by by his his his uh by a woman now I don't want to say by a woman I want to say by his weakness meaning that he wasn't able yeah to suppress his sexual desires right or even his desire for fruit right Eve you know Eve like the fruit Eve like the fruit but either way that's still about not being able to hold on to what am I looking for that's that's not being able to suppress the the negative urges in you right you know said she made a choice that's why go back to what I said earlier yeah we make choices we make decisions you know I'm saying I'm at that point in my life I'm not making those four choices I'm not making those four decision I realize that three years ago now what do you say - like what do you say to the to the young kids going hey you're faithful but you know you're an older guy now you're 40 years old you know Duval's like 60 what do you say to someone who's like now it's easy to be faithful because y'all got all your [ __ ] out of your system I'm 25 say what you still [ __ ] no I'm just saying who's like who says you don't who says you don't get to desire but it's not about the desires about the choice that you make right but what I'm saying is you've already gone to all the countries so you need to travel no more right and then there's this young kid who's like I'm trying to [ __ ] I'm trying to like see different than everybody should go through the whole face so go poor enough of the hoof any women should go through their whole Fiat what I'm telling you right now I mean women especially men yeah you're gonna end up feeling empty cuz all you're doing is pouring from an empty cup into another empty cup that got a hole in the bottom it's all ego only reason men cheat is because of ego right that's it right I mean we got a fateful Asian man just walked in the room you know I'm saying but he can't cheat because he's got Lyme disease the truth though he does have a week to cheat what's up Chris all I'm simply saying is I just understand why anybody would be against this movement that's all I support the movement I don't get it I think it's I think it's great that you know black men you guys are getting on board the faithful tray and that white men have built this should be encouraged yeah okay it should be it should be encouraged because it first of all black women should feel encouraged by this right meaning that Tam these brothers are really trying Sam monogamy is what's up that faithfulness is what's up listen prayer answers things right ladies yeah I'm praying all these years for this awakening to happen now it's happening and and and the rejection when do you think that will go away well you know like I always say man the best apology has changed behavior and you gotta show improved by actions and deeds not words and lip service so I think that they just you know they gotta see men really living that way I mean I've been living that way for a few years you know say by the way I want to say this too I built my woman 22 years I've never been like a consistent cheetah cuz you know how it is you you you first started dating a woman right and you're in that honeymoon phase for like however long four years five years right you know what I'm saying and then like you know y'all both have that favor you both take each other for granted I know I'm saying that you might have that phase where you you might break up for a little while rhinos and so in between those moments when we're I'm taking her for granted take me for granted we the dirt when we broke up we probably both did dirt but I didn't start really like while in Wilin again yeah till I became a superhero of sorts now and as my man Chris Rock said every superhero will test their superpowers oh of course you get a car you want to see how fast it is you guys a different level when you get to a certain level when you've made more money you've ever made in your life you got more access than you've ever had you got [ __ ] with blue checkmarks hitting you up women that you've been fantasizing over your whole goddamn life you will submit to that devil in you and take advantage of a lot of the largest first time you [ __ ] a girl that you had wax off so previously what did that feel like was it still empty or was there a little fulfilling felt like that movie oh that old movie um where they made a young lady not Freaky Friday weird science okay go I felt like weird goddamn science and it almost like when in my convoluted twisted brain I'm like man this is like a vision board so it's like all those times I would whack off to her in King magazine right I manifested it you made it happen every part of you that was like man I wish I was whacking off to like being a billionaire because then I would have done that well I do that now I mean buddy I got bit but that is true too like I the thing that's why I always tell people to think that you want to happen in your life black off to know the things that you want to happen in your life constantly think about and constantly talk about right the things that you don't want to happen in your life don't think about and don't talk about at all so if you got a bunch of black men and I around here top peaceful and talking about being faithful okay I've seen it happen a million times bro it'll come true to manifest do you have any advice for us White's right do you have any advice for it now I know us whites are going through a little bit of a revolution right now our white women are growing fat asses right so we're out here with some of the temptation that you blacks have had for a long time so maybe us whites cheating is on the rise possibly due to the assets doing to your curves theory that you had before and how we can possibly maintain our fidelity with all this thickness walking around I believe that no white men cheat weird talk to me meaning that white men cheat very white collar's Oh like they go buy a [ __ ] they'll have an escort is that still considered cheating prostitute I don't know if you married if you're married it would you got another woman yeah what if we're just getting whacked what if we're doing a whack cuz that's a white man cheating right I don't know you get a whack from the Asian spot yeah you know I don't know I also think that what cheating it's not emotional cheating at all would you tell you the significant other I did I got a massage so you wouldn't tell her about the [ __ ] I mean I wouldn't tell her that they massage my calves oh just say I got a massage I wouldn't say every muscle they massage I think anything you keep from your significant other is cheating if you feel like you got to keep it from them or disguise it as something else is probably cheating I mean you're not gonna tell your wife you had a muffin today I didn't have a muffin I am actually every time I wipe out of cocaine you are faithful only only only because we're both all because we both like got a diet routine that we're doing right so I'm like I did have a cupcake today she sees me go downstairs then run out like 10 o'clock tonight she going why you running in fact I had a cupcake okay so paid [ __ ] is still on the table for cheating yeah what is that emotional cheating what about the worse which of which women are the number-one culprits of I cannot believe in the ego women chief or emo bro that's what's [ __ ] up so women out here emotionally cheating although that's the worst getting emotional satisfaction pop I'm sorry Brighton level conversations with him uh-uh women only talk that uh I got just [ __ ] keep it moving I no doubt okay no you don't okay you let you you let these guys sweet-talk you you know what I'm saying and you fall for it alright and you have conversations with them and then you have an emotional connection with them and then you sleep with them that's what happens that's crazy nah that's crazy page it happens that's crazy they I don't know what we're talking about we're just saying that women cheat for emo yeah hey man cheaper ego what why you'll need male friends can we understand that yeah but not all the time like you don't need all the time guy friends I got I got more homegirl than I got homeboys say what I got more homegirls than I got homeboys what but all my homegirls all my all my homegirls are my wives homegirl so all your homegirls that got not all of them so do you think to a man and woman that are attracted to each other can be friends mmm I think that but I think that's a volatile situation but I think she's saying all your friends that are girls are ugly [Music] [Laughter] like my knees pages like my daughter like I don't we don't even think about it now is that is that a faithful blackmail technique is that you start labeling the women in your life as your family members so that your brain starts to go oh that's my knees is worth with whites because we fought our family members relaxed that'd be good she's growing up when you're a young man and you're leading with ego and you're leading with your dick you feel like you gotta [ __ ] everything and the reason you feel like you gotta [ __ ] everything is because once again yeah you have low self-esteem you have insecurities you're right ah streeting is like women posting on Instagram it's just a way to validate I like I really I just got a bunch of homegirls right and I just like assisting my people I like helping them win right you know I'm saying it I guess I guess my ego may get full by empowering them yes I can also fill your ego a time portal he goes real quick even if you guys anti-vaccination shows coal's know i go nah he goes ok because the dumb [ __ ] is spreading I go that's an old conversation decades old Andrew goes I got a bit about it I'm van gogh's it's never been more fiercely debated than it is right now ever creeping its way into the mainstream conversation I said huh I must be missing something that's been a topic of mainstream conversation forever especially the flu virus oh that's the joke the notion that vaccines cause autism is a growing to be decades right so ok so van goes he goes I get it was being championed in the mainstream now more than Elvis and the Andrew goes Robert De Niro he Golden Arrows fought he said they need do a whole talk about it it wasn't Robert De Niro but Robert De Niro's kid I think is autistic and he believed in it and then he were they were gonna play it at his festival the Tribeca Film Festival and then they scrapped it last minute so he's a big Novak sir okay but real quick van gogh's not saying the ideas new but the conversation is definitely being had on a more mainstream level than ever before then again he goes I get it was being championed in the mainstream now more than ever and then he goes anyway I was just asking I first heard it back in the day but I'm hearing a new anti back set every day now Joe Budden is now one so came through close and you push the laughing emoji I put Jesus Christ hand over the face emoji and I go Joe button is your bar became important show bud was the van bro that was his guiding light Joe Budden is serious man floow2 Joe that's my guy but goddamn man come on man all I'm saying is like this remember growing up in motorcycle on it in my barber shop the barber had a cartoon that said vaccines or viruses and right picture of a Uncle Sam with its needle chasing little kids and you like you don't know if you're injecting your kids the vaccine viruses if I'm not mistaken 100 mm wrapped about vaccines of viruses at one point in I camera just to clarify what what a vaccine is is it's a really small amount of the virus yes and it's a small enough amount that your body can handle and build up antibodies to it and then it's prepared if that virus ever enters your body again it's like you know I got the tools to take the [ __ ] out so that's the whole idea with vaccines nothing to a van with things technically they are viruses I guess also yeah right now and by the way you always thought hearing these vaccinations of virus conversations around election season I don't know why but is always a thing around this time year the anti-vaxxers and yada yada yada but I think what van is saying is you know measles if I'm not mistaken this is the highest rate of measles ever yeah early in the Jewish community it's because they're not getting vaccination the same thing that they had in the barber shop amongst corner they have a Jewish version of that throughout the community in New York and all around the East Coast and it got to a point where now it's spreading out of the community so they're shutting down schools yes in Washington to I think I think in Washington State and watch through thing yeah there's a goodbye maybe since I think it was like 2000 vaccinate your [ __ ] kids guys now rocketing it's really not that big a deal you're gonna bet your [ __ ] kids Charlemagne's vaccinated i'm vaccinated okay i think everybody else in this room is vaccinated you're not vaccinate what you talked about you cannot get into college there are medical requirements for college one of them is vaccinations and you have to be bad but flu shot is different there's a different strain of flu right every year and that's some nonsense I would never get a flu shot I don't get flu shot every year to about me but see that's the thing some people feel like they get flu shot if you don't get the flu shot that's on you you just gonna have a shitty week absolutely right but if you don't get the measles jogos yes especially if you're in an area where them [ __ ] is spreading like wildfire unless you know something that we don't know and you got some goddamn herbs in your house some holistic [ __ ] that really can keep that [ __ ] out right other let's just go get the goddamn shot what is the reason that I mean it's similar of what the Lord remains free version is they think it leads to autism they think it's a government conspiracy I just know when I had kids I started researching it I got into it I went to my doctor and I said what do you think I had it like a file filled papers she was like I gave it to my kids and I was like that's all I need to know it's all you need to know give it to their kids if you read some of the articles that are out now I mean even though this is like I think I think this is the highest rate of measles ever not ever but it sometimes reuses used to be pop and Brodin isn't that a long time that was smallpox yeah but you know what measles look like that's how [ __ ] privileged we are its freckles it's freckles wait fur oh yeah no it's red like chicken pox it's chicken pox not for it implies those freckles she look like pizza bro freckled man his levels do freckle all I'm saying is you can go back and look at old articles it's articles from 2014 that sound like the articles that are being written now because this is like all of this stuff happens it's like it repeats yourself all the time there's always an outbreak of something whether it's measles or the flu it's always it's always an outbreak of something and it's always this crisis of people that don't vaccinate saying hey y'all shouldn't vaccinate thank I don't know and then in advance that that they're mobilizing and gaining political power now I don't know what they could be what they could do I mean they definitely have a huge political backing until blood and cosine you're right I can totally just misspelled it what if he meant by it in the whole time what's the political power Chris I think about the game it's a small but vocal group I mean generally people is buttin about the have a kid or they just have a kid had a kid that's not you only care about it once you advocate and then you forget about a newborn baby that's like literally pure as no do anything to keep it alive you don't trust the white man that's really what it is also sticking it with a needle from a pharmaceutical company feels wrong it does feel wrong but you got to sit down and realize measles is real yes foxes like yes these things killed millions of yes history do it I don't see the problem I don't know why this is a debate I get it I'm open to listen to anybody who is anti vaccine why they're anti Beck's but by all the things just have another option like I've talked a lot of holistic people and they don't believe in those shots and stuff like that but they feel like they have other remedies to prevent this kind of stuff if you do cool don't believe that [ __ ] he could have another remedy for his cancer with that holistic nonsense listen I don't believe in it I'm not saying I don't believe in a lot of holistic stuff I don't believe in stuff like that fuses this vaccinations gets [ __ ] vaccinations like yesterday what do you think about plastic surgery what about it like how do you feel about it what do you think that should be allowed or do you think that should be promoted you think that's okay I don't care I've never cared about blood if you wanted to do something with your lips Oh your breasts are yeah ass like do it you got guys getting the [ __ ] sculpted abs now like yeah I I personally don't care I would wait I would want you to wait until you're a certain age I think it's weird when you see these young young kids getting because you haven't even gone through puberty yet right you know what your body gonna look like what is your gonna 18 20 25 like give yourself some time you know I'm saying I was thinking about the other day I think it's sexist to not allow women to do it cuz I think it's easy for us guys to sit here right what to do with their bodies the sexy Sandra shows no no to sell them that they're not allowed to do it because there's so many guys in here that would be yeah I guess you're right but like it's a lot of guys will be here and they'll say things to the exerting extent of you know me a you shouldn't change the way you look you shouldn't get this done and why are you putting all these injections and everything into your face etc right and we're also saying that from a place where we on some level understand our value is not really our looks but it's you know financially what we bring to the table I'm obviously generalizing but a man's value if you're broke and then you become a billionaire you're gonna have a lot more chicks that are interested in you now that you're a billionaire as I do right if you're a girl if you're a broke or a billionaire ain't that many different amount of dudes that are into you if you're ugly right so unfortunately speaking men are very shallow and we are attracted to attractive things to tell a woman in her one life on this planet that she's not allowed to change anything about the way that she looks when that is what men are drawn to it would be no different than women saying hey fellas you broke we'll just learn to accept it did you say the woman is billionaire yeah and pay for the big right no right of course you could but you're not gonna be able to pay for someone to be like physically attracted to [ __ ] yeah you can pay top dollar yeah but they're not gonna really be attracted to you you know I'm saying about a woman that he [ __ ] for money on the regular right and they roleplay well it's like a cuddly teddy bear and type event like play he played like sailor outfits yunxi yeah dress up like Popeye really stupid [ __ ] like dumb [ __ ] Chris can you grab lakhs so we could ask him about this let's pay some bills first let's pay some bills nightmares are coming home a powerful mysterious and socially provocative helped us is the latest silver screen nightmare from Academy Award winner Jordan Peele starting Oscar winner Lupita Nyong'o and Black Panthers Winston Duke as an endearing American family pitted against a terrifying and uncanny opponent themselves now you can experience us at home and dive into revealing bonus features to untether the truth of us available digital now and on 4k Ultra HD blu-ray and DVD on June 18th get it before your tethered gets any ideas from Universal Pictures Home Entertainment go get us we're back to the show we have with us Herman Herman my man Herman so wise Herman Herman let me tell you something ice might fart in here all because you walked in maybe you forgot to wash your hands after you caught the [ __ ] that came out of your hair mean so much so Herman let me ask you a question now we were discussing we're discussing the the disadvantages that women have in the mating pool at times we're men we are quite shallow and if a woman is just born ugly you know the only recourse she has is to get plastic surgery where if a man is born ugly he can get wealthy get successful there are things that he could actually do right and I thought it was kind of unfair that we judge women for getting plastic surgery when in reality that's their recourse to become attractive oh it's not true I know a lot of ugly girls in that I got bad body bodies is really amazing but that's an attractive quality and for a lot of guys you know I'm saying I think you're talking about women who got the bad build and a cosmetically challenging the face yeah unfortunately I think it's unfair for men to just look at them and go hey you gotta be like that your whole life no you have the opportunity to change and you have the opportunity to find a way to become attracted to the opposite sex just like we do right so they're strongly brings up this option opportu situation and he says that uses waiting for it yeah yeah paper dick he said there's a girl that pays you to [ __ ] her right and how much you get in person per data girl is a woman yeah woman sorry they passed me around like a couple of little pass me around I was like a click it it's a click of women yes go black Jesus right my god now now now you [ __ ] these women right yes now you said now is it hard for you to have sex with these women being that they're not attractive no I think about the money it's every episode yes so say it again do is it hard for you to have sex with a woman who you're not physically attracted to I still get hard I think about the bread so you can get hard thinking about how wealthy they are just about the money I'm gonna get from them [ __ ] how wealthy they are now what if a guy was like here's some money can you get hard to that hmm so it's only a what so it's not about the bread it's about the women and the bread but the woman in the river guy said I would think about shooting on I mean that's just violent I'm gonna say doesn't he what it's possible for him to say can I give you money so you can get you just get a boner he doesn't have to do anything to the boner aggressive you're saying if a guy says here's a hundred thousand dollars can you just get a boner as if you wouldn't get a boner for $100,000 are you saying you need wrestling guy I'm confused this guy I'm gonna get a boner off on for what after you you said money on silly woman I see I got one that she's bent over right and so I was coming to the Crips she stayed on the video come on chill out he's got nothing that's the same woman it makes you dress up like Papa what a tight-ass polo this [ __ ] is so stupid it makes him put a pipe in his mouth you smoke a pipe with his wheat yeah it's really funny cuz she's like she don't never want to see me I don't think she ever even seen me before like I come into doubt she bent over smacking ass I come Internationa back fake nut get them get the money and I'll leave how much [Music] $200 these videos right so you don't think it's weird yeah that a woman does not want to look at a person like just in my house come in my house I'm gonna be bent over right so you just come in stick it in and leave okay so du/dr that's why they make fake ones that's right feel really good brought to you by Mattel she has kids I'd see them on a [ __ ] piano that's the old elites you gotta pee on so now they call it beyond I call it beyond [ __ ] you won't even know it's not pushing beyond fur burgers are melting in the streets wait you're saying that you're saying that this guy has kids right how many how many kids you have a couple kids okay yeah this is my kids now yeah but obviously they're not gonna be that attractive like nobody there was a girl look you know you know this woman look like or persons we don't know what it is thank you and stuff like that thank you videos you never show me your face ever it's like Charlie Brown's teacher no he's never show me our face ever your face and what outfit does she make you wear waxes Popeye the Sailor he makes you listen nobody can we just love this [ __ ] I mean do you know what they say about like the Navy right no just a lot of dudes on a boat I think a female cooks you don't want to tell that part all right it's not her I never had to do what she don't want to see me at all we not she's not seeing a costume she just want me bit though she smack her ass it come on baby it's $200 you're done 400 table and there multiple women that you do this to it's only this three little clique they just passing around you a [ __ ] you a hot girl for this moment uh-huh I've been watching this is disgusting you it's not disgusting so how do you feel about black men don't cheat wax I don't think that you really in a relationship unless you actually marry so anybody who's not married anybody who's married definitely free whack waxes still would never cheat right now wax is still in his boy face wax is still in his boyfriend stealing his childhood that's not that's exactly what it is I'm trying getting closer to try to be the woman gonna change us right his wife he would be his mother [ __ ] tell I wouldn't be she a point that's a good point so maybe he hasn't found the right woman yet so basically what wax just said is all his women ain't [ __ ] they say the right line the [ __ ] fool me what the right line the fool waxes come through the door and I'll be bent over okay and you the envelope will be on the table all right you just hit it from the back and leave to talk to you let's eat it had a [ __ ] nasty-ass dream things that I hate I hate these nasty as huh she'd be cooking you shrink me there's no reason a stream beans and rice what's your white string beans that's tree that's home city hard is hell [ __ ] the hard a string beans why people cook string beans differently you know the problem just boil it you means no ashram means a sticker y'all screw me to be actually strings yeah just like green so I think about string beans or something else guys I'll be here all night what do we think about Wendy Williams in her new boo boo 27 yo tinder maybe I was wrong maybe guys are attracted to money this is good lately man what you mean come on bro and you got a thank you 27 years old she's [ __ ] he's half her age but he's caught up in the hype he's gay he's caught up in the attention now I think it's the fame clout brownie - listen just the money in the clouds the other thing right and that's what this would just would people like Wendy need to be very careful of don't put him on display like this yeah don't make him high you know say don't start talking about him on your show don't be taking pictures with them because you don't know if this man is really with you for you if you decide you're getting some dick after your divorce congratulations go do your bindi but walking around like this you know saying hold your hand and women just get dick after a divorce how many women are capable of just publicly saying yeah I just want some dick Taylor come and see all the time I don't believe you this is a lot telly you're so sensitive and so emotional in a regular life I know [Music] I know for a fact I know for you being sensitive I refuse to believe you can just have sex with a man and keep it why I don't believe it I don't even think you could make out with a man alive if you do because that's not I don't feel like that's in your character yeah you can't you get too attached you get too attached when we call you to them like you got anything so you can [ __ ] a guy and have no emotional attachment to him whatsoever really yeah well his name oh you don't remember his name you know why I kicked him out too because he wanted to cuddle four months ago you found you a faithful and did you think about his feelings in that moment do you think about how he might feel he just shared an intimate moment you just want to hold you after or smell your fake hair personally right now like I feel like I've been I I think I work better with our relationship because I feel like I lose focus like with work and everything yeah because of a lot of boys insecurities and everything else with my job and all that stuff so I rather kind of right now just be single now this will be a hoe but I'm disgusted in two minutes you know here's a question do we think there is a famous woman out there that could just say hey I'm just dating I'm just [ __ ] these dudes and they wouldn't get [ __ ] for it yeah I don't think I've really believed I do so here's the thing Rihanna the one that comes to mind and Briana's and rare and she came in just saying she gotta be like on boot-up this is my new beginning everyone is about to get engaged omaree's and she can say it though that's what I'm saying is rare amber out here with a boyfriend every single boyfriend so I don't think there's a single famous woman that the public would allow just to date around I don't think there's a regular woman that furbot does not a regular the public allowed to date around because women get laid all the time is being [ __ ] that's number one in number two something I would never do the aw I don't I know that's something I don't do I don't do that like I think that's why I got like let people get emotionally attached straight and you find yourself sleeping with a man and you try to play around on me you tell me something that I fell for and I gave up this Ashley you just gonna [ __ ] me and keep me movin first of all I wasn't even gay til I bet you how dare you tell me I've never done this before really bet you tell all the guys that's why I mean that's why men should not have sex with a girl more than three times anything more than three times is a relationship don't smash me you want to find yourself catchin feelings with young is that why women get so upset when a dude plays them cuz they're like all these dudes trying to [ __ ] with me I am [ __ ] any of them this one dude I finally get some [ __ ] he plays me yes [ __ ] you not just [ __ ] yous now is [ __ ] all men because of you it's just for another months to get horny again that's why that's why I listen that's why I try not to smash wrong I've only now with the first time I've ever seen wax in love all jokes aside in life I've never seen him in love until now with the white woman every day he wants the best for her man he just bring it up I think I really think I think it scares him that he's in love with this woman really come here to get on the microphone it smell like it [ __ ] wrong yeah it's mic [ __ ] [Laughter] he got emotional his girl the white girl wasn't answering the phone cause the white girl was answering the phone call so he's like oh it was only like two minutes five minutes like I'm definitely cheating now he gets mad emotional I believed it but he really likes that girl there's nothing wrong with liking a girl he loves her you gotta check it easy boy you still alive I'm about to give me a sobriety coin man you know I'm gonna get I'm gonna get him for the black minute that have been clean for starting to mind how long have you been clean three years but listen it's only for like Americans right his married men right it can't be single men man if you want a relationship with a girl I think so you can't understand wax as a religious man he's Christian and in the eyes of Christianity you're not in a relationship with scenaries yeah but if you would have but isn't being with a woman in a relationship the process of getting married maybe as I clean you and her not you always say don't practice bad habits yes and cheating is a bad habit and I don't want it listen you right I don't know I didn't whatever you go into the marriage wit is what's gonna be there like you got to make a intentional effort to turn that [ __ ] off you got to turn it off bro you ain't because when I stopped watching porn now hopefully jerking off ever all right occasion ships I find like with me I'll pretend um I'll pretend I'm in relationship before I tell her we're boyfriend a girl that you can commit to this woman so like I know that girls I know that girls will sometimes be like why does it take you so long to commit or why does it take you so long to your lockdown it's like because I'm seeing if I'm cool with this in my head before I agree to it with you and then I start to get all anxious and realize it's wrong let me ride it out for a month I'm boyfriend/girlfriend you for a month without you even [ __ ] knowing you have no clue there's much for you to do one for turn to a different person little things you do try out like yo traveling if I haven't like left the city with you for maybe two or three days and seen what we're like yes how the bathrooms math you take this you think women aren't doing that with us they suppose so we're gonna go in the exact same thing what if they kicking the tires on the car too they want to know just a game like they want to know what you have your mood swings alike they want to know if you [ __ ] snoring you sleep they want to know all that [ __ ] when is women made a good decision with their partners you said what we're always married like guys moving to heroin addictions and [ __ ] like that they're like what worse at picking meet lots of prison shows the magnitude in jail you never seen at one prison show where it's dudes like yeah I met her in prison I can't wait till she gets how I'm there you know every prison show where the person is meeting the person that's in jail it's a woman we never do because we're shallow [Music] go look at some of these mug shots man I'm just saying yeah you see a few flowers every now and I really burn won't that committing real real crime they get in real time the girls the girls will kill the football plot it could be to jail yeah they what they could be in the dude jail no no I'm saying orange is the new black is not like reality all right what I'm saying is the chicks in the chick jail yeah wouldn't be it wouldn't be shocked and seeing them in a dude it you wouldn't be like you're not supposed to be here be on season Jill you gotta be gotta be broke but what are they even in jail for for what little buddy yo what if what if what if they've just been in jail for so long that they just don't have like all the tools of the trade that the other women have meaning like a little bit of makeup have their hair done you know I'm saying we keep seeing them in a prison outfit it might be bad bad for real we just don't know because of the packaging yeah they're prison packaging may not be appealing now because we've seen girls at the gym with no makeup nothing and we know they're good-looking but it's but it's this context oh yeah we got this now we did this on flagrant 2 what is this she got the this is the hottest woman who've committed crimes we did the hottest murderers the huh yeah I did a list of hottest murders shei and easy with that page why it is all white chicks girl for murder you got a girl in jail for murder take a murder charge she got a booty murder she got caught in some serious [ __ ] she she got caught in wrong yes all this literally okay and then and then she literally got conspiracy yeah if she knew about the [ __ ] and oh she never said anything yeah Wow do you think you should be able to put someone in jail for conspiracy stuff looking these crazy yo so here's a question should you be allowed to put someone in jail for conspiracy man like happens all the time yeah but should you be allowed to it's like just say something doesn't mean that someone else has to do it the holes no I say see nothing I don't know nothing yeah how I turn numb I got seen mother's go to jail I've seen daughters go to jail like if you live like say you live with a notorious drug dealer you know he's a drug dealer mm-hmm he ain't say [ __ ] so you have your conspiracy yo but this was crazy right so what about this someone's on his way to go kill somebody he comes up to me he say y'all I'm finna go kill somebody so now I got to go tell the cops on this dude I already know as a murderer so I know he's gonna murder me who's gonna know he came to you and told you he might come on they're black white oh so head you the head I was gonna kill the guy before I did it he stopped me he not gonna do this but I would I would do that I would do that only because he might really be going to kill somebody and I learned from spider-man I learned from [ __ ] Uncle Ben you know what I'm saying when Spiderman had the chance to stop that guy and he did it he didn't do what kill it Uncle Ben you know I'm saying so you have to get people like that off the street if is something like an alert somebody yeah I just dude you said you might want to go kill somebody I'm not saying he is I'm just saying yeah he might be going through something right now I might need to pull him to the side tell you something the FBI in in some of these police [ __ ] what do they call precincts ain't [ __ ] because there's this dude I thought was acting a little wild a little crazy and I called them up and I was like yo I don't know I just want y'all to take a look at my man and make sure that everything is good maybe look into it see wait call the FBI if he was black it was not plain I called both of them I call the police they're like oh you should talk the FBI call the FBI you talk to the police I'm like son I don't know no no no what's like that federal bill didn't know I was just like weird posts and stuff I'm just trying to figure out why I'm the primary means problem is FBI so it's like yo I'm calling because I'm seeing something's a little bit weird I want y'all to know so you can look into it not if all right but what y'all looking to just to make sure this dude is gonna be with you I'm gonna tell you what the FBI and the police was thinking yeah I got another one these [ __ ] on the phone scared of social media they probably get these calls all oh don't know what to do they don't know I'm the last person to get triggered if I call they don't know what to do what do you do they don't know to do I don't know that's your job gave it to you what do you even know the guy who's doing it yeah a little bit then let me beat them up black and intelligent faithful black individuals yes good job this guy got you shook told me this week I'm talking to him on the phone yeah he having a conversation I said look man I said you can't go online and threaten the person I'm say you can't threaten to slap him or anything like that he said to me I would never do that because if I did that I won't get the chance to slap them then being cool with you after making some goddamn threats of me oh no that the threats weren't to me oh girl I'm worried about all y'all yeah I'm worried about like there was no threats being made it was just a little erratic behavior and I was like is this guy about I guess my point is it was one of those things like it just made me uncomfortable and I was like you know what I feel like I gotta do my my due diligence as a citizen but it was a civic duty duty I got to take care of everybody damn right out here as you saw me to call and the police FBI just sent me on a [ __ ] phone chase and eventually I made three calls I was like [Music] to say these guys likely but it came you said oh no as a white guy I did say it's a white guy that's why you [ __ ] that [ __ ] you're threatening the president still fighting not going something got to be an ID to carry for the president [Laughter] [Music] 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ready to launch use the offer code idiot to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace.com slash idiot offer code idiot let's let us get back to the show okay now listen going to state Toronto Raptors I was at the game oh you win what happens what happened is game six Raptors take a table yeah but I think the real big issue is the Raptors are going to win last game Oracle Arena they throw onto the road Oracle yeah that's my point the Oracle Arena Golden State Warriors is its last time they're gonna be playing that's building a lot of them feel like they let Kevin Durant down yeah they feel like they're playing for something yeah two-time defending world champions been to the world been to the finals five years in a row you think that they're gonna allow the Raptors to beat them at Oracle Arena and I'm not saying now I'm not saying going to say I'm going win the series I really don't know I can allow it but it's gonna happen they're just the better team I think it's the best player on the floors Kawhi Leonard without a doubt could drag on Durant Durant is gone I mean well let's get let's have the Durant discussion and how [ __ ] discuss in that warriors organization is I can't I can't put that on the words I'll put that right on the Warriors these guys have there's a difference there's a difference when you have medical information right like I was talking nobody about this and he was like listen it's all about personal responsibility man personal responsibility personal accountability sure it is about personal responsibility and personal accountability right Kevin Durant does not have our own MRI machine he doesn't have access to all his own medical stuff there's a certain amount of leeway that we give doctors right doctors say hey your heart is doing this and you got to stop doing this so your heart gets better right but if a doctor just goes hey yeah we think your heart is fine and then I go live in my life then I have a heart attack I get to sue that doctor right because he has a responsibility to make sure that I'm doing what's best for me now these doctors work for the team so they have a responsibility to the team and what we're starting to realize is these doctors are willing to say whatever the [ __ ] they want to get certain players out of the floor but wait for it okay wait for it but it's only certain players like players they know are not gonna resign to their team so they don't care about what happens to them next year they're because clay klay Thompson pulled his hamstring and all of a sudden Game three we should sit him we should rest him because of 30 days you should be sent for six months six months there's no way that did not not not to go to State Warriors team Kevin Durant mm-hmm there's no way his team just allowed to go and State Warriors doctors to be the only people that looked at Kevin Durant there's no way they did not have outside consultation Kevin Durant is worth hundreds of millions of dollars it isn't it's impossible it is absolutely no way that didn't maybe they didn't promise you if he was gonna resign that he would not play I promise he can opt in but I don't think I gotta pay thirty five million over 30 million and if I was him I would do it and I rehab on their time and over in the process but we're gonna get a max deal he's gonna get a supermax deal or not he's gonna get a max deal from any team in the league even if he has to rehab for a whole year any team leave will pay him I don't I think so why thinks otherwise I would give I would give I would give him at least 50 million I would give him three years I would give him three years at top dollar I don't know about giving five an illegal Pam and I promise you this I promise you any team as I do I wouldn't know you just rehab in the first year approver stuff you gotta get a championship and then here you might be thinking smart you might be thinking smart but you also have to understand that there are teams of the league they're gonna grasp at any opportunity your side Kevin Raiders to put seats in the goddamn stands I'm saying but I I don't I can't put the blame told me on the Warriors organization I put the blame on otherwise shows you that whatever [ __ ] medal tech tech medical technology they're using it's not up to par clearly if you can't see that this guy could make one non-contact basketball move and tear it tears of chilly Achilles like that lets you know right there if something is [ __ ] wrong with the metaphor and you you know you play bugs you can't go back to that avoid personal responsibility now go back to the kowai kowai I knew I heard he was in San Antonio he sat it as down so that's nice and he let them talk [ __ ] they talked to plenty [ __ ] about kowai kowai was like [ __ ] that I'm gonna sit my eyes down and I'm gonna sit out this year and when I come back I'm gonna be stronger than ever and where's he at now in the NBA Finals on the brink on winning a [ __ ] champion that's why it's important to have your team around to my time in team I don't mean the players you're playing ball with I mean the team of people that are guiding your life even even stronger than that dole shows oh for sure why I got Kawhi got something that Kevin Durant don't has you don't know why do you affect Kawhi Leonard don't nobody affect Kawhi Leonard he doesn't give a [ __ ] but he also has a strong leader in his crew that is willing to take the brunt of the criticism for him we're good uncle Dennis his uncle is the one who basically was like we're not residing with the Spurs his uncle was the one who basically upon getting traded to Toronto they arrived in Toronto and they said hey just trade us we don't wanna play here and then they eventually Toronto convinced him that it was the best thing that they should be there and now they're in the NBA Finals but well within us don't get the heat in the media oh wow I know you've heard over there's no time to hear the media and they're like he's got this crazy uncle from Newark or something like that like who the [ __ ] is this guy why is he meddling in these rules so he is from Jersey so like I'm not sure but uh exact service Newark way from Jersey so the thing with so the thing with a guy like that is and this with these [ __ ] organizations do they like to act like they're your best [ __ ] friend they're not okay they're business of course so what they do is this what they do is this they try to poison the well right they go okay uncle Dennis is the one that's wanker why so now we're gonna act like uncle Dennis is crazy so they put all these vibes out there that uncle Dennis is crazy uncle Dez doesn't have his best interest and thank God Kauai really trusted his uncle and trusted his uncle was gonna make the best decision for him because now he's in the NBA Finals but he could have come back and played for the team or whatever that [ __ ] is that they tell you so they could take advantage of you and let you waste your [ __ ] body in your good years like they did with Kevin Durant you don't think the Warriors were lobbying the the media all week you don't think the Warriors had people writing articles about how Kevin Durant was faking the injury yeah I know personally for a fact they were pressuring him to come play organization that knew he was [ __ ] up was putting pressure on him the Kevin Durant needs to be mentally stronger because heaven Durant listens to every outside influence you don't have a I don't have to come from Washington Post it can come from wax yeah why should literally tweet Kevin Durant like you [ __ ] oh you need to get out there and [ __ ] play and now she'll internalize yeah so I can't put all the blame on the media I can't put our blame on the world at the end of the day Kevin Durant is a grown-ass man and he made a choice you know saying now the biggest gripe I would have with anybody in that situation is the doctors cuz I would think at this stage of life that we're in you would know if somebody has the potential to tear a goddamn Achilles I keep here is I don't know I like like like I don't know could i assumption it was partially torn the whole time 30 days no sprained calf also if you look at him walking away from any workouts he has two ice packs there's one ice pack on his calf and there's one ice pack on his lower ankle that is not your [ __ ] cat Aziz so they knew for the whole time Bailey's and I guaranteed he knew that last week and I was like yo Kevin Durant something with me you must have a fucked-up Achilles oh they didn't even in the play they cleared him to practice this was scumbags they are they go Kevin Durant is cleared to practice so that's the doctors not saying that he's able to play and then eventually Kevin has to make his own decision but maybe Kevin listen and again I agree with you he has to be able to block out all the noise just like Kawhi did at the end of the day we just remember who wins and who loses right yeah but you have to think about the rest of your career as an athlete all you have is your body you have nothing else if your body breaks down you are worthless yeah ok this guy let his [ __ ] you know lack of or I guess his ego or a less insecurity take over a couple more games though I'm gonna be honest with you man I don't know if they win Game six now far as the whole series I'm not as far the whole series I think it's a toss-up I don't think they win games in that thing get your Game five you're not posted lose Game five bro you're not posed to lose up 3-1 in Toronto up by seven with less than three minutes left bro bro it was you got it you can't even describe what was happening there right like when that last shot went up it was the most anti-climactic final shot I've ever seen in my life right giving them a lot of grief you got a dream about yo drama played a hell of a [ __ ] defensive game especially in that last play right but here's what's so crazy about it when he shoots it and they miss there wasn't even a ah you know how there's a sigh usually on a missed shot the the crowd was in disbelief and we thought about it we think it's because they've hit every last second shot this whole playoffs so the crowd just assumed going into the play that they were gonna hit it so when they didn't everybody was kind of looking around now they're like oh we're down well let's be clear Kawhi Leonard hit every last second complete his ass off that guy he really that would have been the best fitting ending cuz Kyle's been the longest [ __ ] rap that I've been a that would have been amazing like that would have been no storybook ending and he's had questionable playoff career and a man I'd you not post the lose Game five like that bro I think that might have been a shift in man and I think the longer the series goals go to say get stronger man go on the Oracle Arena gonna be tough with Toronto I'm not saying it's gonna be easy I'm not saying it's gonna be easy but Toronto has a better team they should have won that last game I think that and the sad thing about the melon when that last game is that it really robbed Kauai of his Jordan moment bro he's in a closeout game right I'm like yo he's Jordan like Kobe a Jordan right now ten straight points it was unbelievable who was there yeah the impression watching TV when he went on that run was why the [ __ ] did he call that timeout so he's had so much momentum so here's the question and there's there's two things about that right so he calls the timeout and you're Chris referring to they score they're up six I think at the time Wyatt sent straight there up six Nick nurse the coast rappers calls timeout with the ball right and the conventional wisdom is there you score one more time that's the game let's get a bit the best play we could possibly get right and they come out of the timeout they get Marc Gasol on a layup at the basket where he gets mauled by boogie and it's a no call so they kind of got the shot they wanted to get it didn't get it call and it was a makeable lamp even with the contact he could have got em one on that play now they're up nine right so they get they get a great look they don't get the call and then a fast-break ensues and I think it was clay that hits it on the fast break or or 73 and in clay hit it through so those first three but so basically yeah but basically everybody's looking at that now the other question is why don't you call timeout on the last play that's what I would have done I don't mind that earlier timeout and I definitely would have called timeout in the final play because they got a great look on that last timeout so you know that you're gonna come in convert and let's get Kawhi something better than pick-and-roll double and to give you in double regardless to give Iggy credit it was 82 came over on that double yeah and he played great [ __ ] day you getting double regardless all I'm saying is if the Golden State Warriors come back and when they win this series it's because of that goddamn game 5 which is obvious [ __ ] statement but I'm just saying you're not supposed to lose if you're the Toronto Raptors like all the momentum losing lots emotionally you're saying emotionally not only emotion but just all the momentum within Toronto favorite Kauai was on at it oh and I'm watching him like ah [ __ ] it's over yeah I gotta start over I thought I thought I thought he they had I'm like oh this I've seen this before yeah but no but the other two guys on the other side which we forget are the defending champions for a reason I don't know why we sleep on Steph Curry and clay like they not [ __ ] real-life killers bro they did exactly what they're supposed to do and I'm telling you game six I I think it's at least going seven I don't know who the [ __ ] is going in this earrings I just don't see the Raptors beaten Golden State Oracle you can't give you can't give a team like going to state that kind of life bro we've seen this before but they did it to the Thunder and the Thunder had a beast of a team when Golden State was down 3-1 and Western Conference Finals Russell Westbrook Kevin Durant [ __ ] row not mistaken start debacle was on that team back then that was a hell of a squad man and it was the same [ __ ] scenario all I'm saying is just boys they come back and win this series the last three minutes the game hits the reason why I just I just can't see I can't see go to say doing it and I just don't think that they have the talent to do it like they I don't think if any bench what happens is they go to the bench little bit and this is the strategy for the Raptors right the strategy has run them run them down for the first two quarters right run them ragged by the second half they're gonna be exhausted and they have no bench to contribute so you have them on wobbly legs just so happened to hit those big threes in a row those are dagger threes I think Toronto might I think it's the same day I think the longer his theories go I think Tyrande moist I'll get inside but Toronto has a bench right Toronto can go there they have guys that come in they have guys that contribute off the bench I mean like you got a trope a male rotation problems right so it's like even even if you want to get to like Van Van Van Fleet you have Powell you have Serge you have I think they even have this kid named like McGraw play or some like that but that usually won't yeah Powell norm Powell but like so here's the thing they're rappers get tight but Kawhi doesn't so they have somebody yet but they have somebody that is unaffected by the moment right and I'll be honest with you the Africans on the team don't really seem to get affected by the moment but serge ibaka pascal siakam like it's funny when you hear them talking interviews they're like like this is just a game like this is not like I've seen real [ __ ] in life this is not a big deal so yeah let's just go out there let's have fun yeah that can be a gift and a curse though you gotta be like Steph Curry a faithful black man who's a Christian right and this is life or death for him okay this is like I don't win this game I believe what belief in your God like you need that type of killer okay let them feel like you know what I've seen this [ __ ] before for me this is all I got alright this is what makes me go yeah you want them killers like that man if he lose his wife are we gonna cheat on him because she's been asking for it no it means he has been asking for attention every arrested that dude that said he wanted to [ __ ] into [ __ ] I mean maybe so but that's what she was asking no it was a dude on her on TV and it was a live shot from that she called jungle fever what's the [ __ ] called in Toronto Rasik parkour athlete ball right so it was a Jurassic Park in the goggles tonight I wanna [ __ ] to [ __ ] or whatever birthday investigate him they may lock his ass up but for what for what sandy won't [ __ ] a [ __ ] that's terroristic threat no it's not saying you want to do it unconsented a it's just you want to [ __ ] I don't know what the [ __ ] no you can't go around saying [ __ ] like that you can't say you want to [ __ ] a girl to [ __ ] no [Music] [Applause] nobody say I got a lot of good you can't say that you want to [ __ ] a girl that's illegal to say you want to make threatening sexual assault no no that's different Salter girls differently so I guess you're threatening her with sexual assault no it's not you're just saying I want to [ __ ] a girl we were in where was he were we in out oh we were in San Francisco this last week for the shows we went to this gay bar right first of all there's a bar next to the gay bar called the squat and gobble Yates you walked into a gay bar tell me with a 3-1 in there okay but squat and gobble I mean that's an amazing name right the gay bar is called the lookout okay this I'm not gonna lie bro I'm selling out first of all nobody got a shirt on like they're ready to [ __ ] I went to squat what were you wear you know oh now it's like that yeah these girls a while with that with that what you wearing doesn't affect [ __ ] like I made sure what I wore did not try to attract you know you were gay boy you know what you were there for yeah heard the [ __ ] you in this part of town he was observing bro it was observant bro it was amazing and it was amazing to feel like oh that's the funny dude yes [Laughter] let me tell you something man there is a different stare that men give and now I understand what women go through at the club like real talk if I also now if I went to the bathroom I'm putting a little napkin on my drink I'm doing I'm doing all the preparations that I would do the girls go I go to the bathroom with my homeboys I'm not going back to find my man son it'll show you a woman going son there were diesel ass dudes there right my man look into me and I'm just looking up like [ __ ] it was two dollars to get in right I'll go and I give the guy two dollars right old as gay old gay first of all old gays all gays are different right that's like that's like war vets because all their friends are dead yeah like you like real talk Oh Friends of dead they probably look at all the new gay guys like they [ __ ] think they don't got [ __ ] to go through they just in there David once we made it bro they [ __ ] made my man looked at me and bro like he got in the eye contact meant it was severe Bo strong strong locked in and I gave him the money and he's just look at me and I'm like I cannot can I go he's like yeah okay I felt his eyes on a bastion it was probably somebody like new trade alert Real Talk bro because you can't get a see like a gay guy told me that he'll like me because I'm ashy so that's they ask you oh stop lying a gay guy kissed you right on your hand I thought you want to know some real [ __ ] they only ask you guys the black guy who was the bouncer downstairs was the ashes person look fresh out of 9/11 sign yes I could not believe it don't ever get it no my hands - [ __ ] they don't like my parents they give a [ __ ] you don't know what it's like a bar before never yes I have I've been to a gap in to a two of them please oh you remember that even the guy tried to touch my hair I'm like get the [ __ ] out of here a burger place the burger place you might have to somewheres not again there it doesn't mean get a gay bar it was a whole lot of gay people who know the game when you go to a gay bar trust let the record show when that guy touch whacked it he did not say get the [ __ ] off me no wife does what he always does when a gay guy touches him he melts he melts so [ __ ] crazy remember we went after MTV we ended up at a party mmm mmm Perez Hilton came in there yeah but that wasn't a gay party that was like a gay night and I went to a gay bar I want to get over a couple my homegirls before yeah how was it cuz it was her it was her gay homeboys birthday yeah I wasn't it right no yeah bro let me tell you something there's no happier place on earth with all due respect to women you get women out the equation everybody's happy broke these guys were so happy dude cuz everybody knew in that bar that they could get laid there was it was up to them whether they were gonna [ __ ] that night there was no like anxiety no inks nope nobody was fighting nobody was competing there was nothing it was like they were having so much fun I was praying I was gonna get raped by all of them right which is stupid because maybe you don't even want to [ __ ] me you know I mean I'm not even muscular way better looking dudes in there to me [ __ ] best [ __ ] wall saying this I totally resonate with women and the fear that they could feel around men that's good they was looking at you like a piece of meat that's a good feeling to have cuz now you know how women feel sure subscreen up or how Phil nobody's worried about your singing bro I can't wait the wife gets objectified I love with my gay homeboys try to hit on wax right it's not cool I love it that's a woman yo but here's the thing okay to feel uncomfortable because I'm sure women feel uncomfortable when they're being hit on by if I even talk to women i woman how that me first and I'm saying but these guys be like letting me know like I wanna [ __ ] you what's wrong with that that's buggin why they wanna [ __ ] let you know that yeah but listen on some level you really can't deny us with a gay guy right does your homie [ __ ] it's like the best situation every gay guy explain what else he gonna say I wanna date you like what the [ __ ] bro let's talkin about yo go to watch the game together do you suck each other's dicks that's a perfect night you have a relationship with a guy who's saying what you do a woman what are you talking us a great privilege you date a woman come to meet ain't not gonna come to me like hey how you doing let's just have a conversation why not they can nobody never did not yeah real talk but this what I respect about gays right you know how dudes like we got to try to like trick women like we got to be like oh yeah like how was your day oh my god yeah or like oh you studied abroad that's so interesting and like we have to have these like pseudo conversations to get Gabe users just like yo what's up with a dick and you're like no I'm good alright but it's the most honest tell you i'ma tell you I'm gonna tell you why cuz if they see you out in the gay bar or like my wax intubated gay clubs yeah when they see you they can tell that you're probably they're gonna think you're on the down-low so they coming to you like yo know what you're not beat around the bush oh and I don't blame them for that because they put the sign on the door this for gays that's right so if you walk into we need to do that with clubs if you if you're in a club don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend why are you in a club my boyfriend a girl that's different for the talk about the night club the night club is a different vibe pinch now y'all go there because you wanted this is this was [ __ ] up y'all go there because you want attention you want to feel desired you still want the protection of your boyfriend that's not fair that's a fair man go home you want a boyfriend go home let the guy go and he goes all right now [Music] I got a headache from this whole conversation simply because I'm a faithful black man who doesn't cheat so I don't even give a [ __ ] about about right now that single min conversation is such a headache like I don't even I can't even oh you know what single men don't see either because we're single there you go congratulations Maya business you got a white girl listen I gotta get the [ __ ] out of here please go down little black men don't cheat wherever you buy ice cream music you know saying it's a poor little Duval he got another one he's three for three right now it was it was the number one trending topic on Twitter all day yesterday starting a great lively conversation you know so yeah Thank You yo thank you guys so much man I appreciate you yeah anything else some church announcements you put them in the beginning all right as always if you listed his podcast you think we're smart you think we're intelligent you think we're brilliant you're absolutely right bloody phew let's do this podcast you think with just a couple of idiots who don't know [ __ ] ha you're right - is the brunette is podcast thank you for listening

Channel: The Andrew Schulz

Views: 206,307

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, brilliant idiots, flagrant 2, podcast, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, charlamagne, charlemange, breakfast club, interviews

Id: 6KSeaHc0E7E

Length: 103min 35sec (6215 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 15 2019