Bob's DMV Rant (True Spiritual Precursor to 'Bob's Fridge')

okay i mean yeah i i did it was look i went to the dmv the other day yeah okay nice segue i like the story no so wade won't understand but mark you live in the cool place uh have you ever gone to the california dmv yes i have and was it the worst thing that's ever happened to you in new york in your opinion compared to the ohio bmv which is a really lovely experience never a line like nothing getting in the way it is [ __ ] awful it is so is it just as like technologically impaired there as it is here though they still have like windows 95 computers out in california yeah but i want to try and paint a word picture of the one that we went to because is it because you can't imagine is it because you can't actually think of it so you have to paint it with words yeah i have to paint it with words because i can't yeah good call back yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh no but seriously what the californian dmv i know you're watching what the [ __ ] happened so manny and i had to get our licenses and we had to register our cars which in ohio and in north carolina kind of a pain generally not so bad you fill out a form so i'll explain my most recent other dmv experience you go in you take a number you sit down and when your number is called you go and you talk to a person and that person you know checks your paperwork does the thing you you do they do everything that you need to do they do it with you if you have to take a test they tell you to go take the test and you come back and see them and they help in california every single step of the process and it's like a 13-step process is a different person who has no [ __ ] idea why you're there or what you just did and he doesn't even there's not even an order we walked in to the dmv and i was like okay so there's gonna be like step one step two like we'll figure out and this lady was like well you can go see the document person you could go on the computer and you could take your test or you could do your other certification thing uh you should probably get a number you guys might both want numbers and i was like wow okay well what do i do first and she was like just do whichever one you want first and i was like that's not how this works what's your job and she's like uh i don't know and then she went and sat behind the counter and did something else i don't even know why she was standing by the door this woman was just casually standing by the door answering people's questions and then like we were literally i asked her the question and she she sort of answered and then she went and sat on a desk and called a number and started doing someone's driver's license and i was like wait what the [ __ ] did she actually work there do you think yeah well so good dude so the other thing oh there's so many there's gonna be so many other things but it's just like there was so let me try and remember all the stations that go on in the dmv there's two separate photo stations that do the same thing but different people will direct you to a different one arbitrarily based on which one they like more and you can't tell if they do the same thing because they're labeled differently and they look different but they do the same thing there's a station where a woman checks your documents and gives you a form that says what you're applying for but she gives you a form with a bunch of check boxes on where she's supposed to check what you're applying for and she doesn't check anything it's just a form that lists the things you can do with the dmv okay calm down self hang on i'm taking a breath there are two separate desks where you can get a number which you need the number in order to get called to go up to talk to someone who's sitting behind a desk which they can do like 80 of what you need them to do but you have to be either before or after you talk to them you have to have your picture taken you have to do something on the computer you have to do something else on the computer but that part you can only do after you've talked to the person at the desk and also before you do any of this you have to magically know that you have to drive your car into a line called verification outside and for some reason a dude has to look at your vin number write it down and then make sure he write it down correctly and then give you a form where he wrote down your vin number and check that it's correct even though it's literally engraved into the part of your car and then and so you need that and if you don't do that first when you finally get to the person sitting at the desk inside they take your number they send you back outside you have to do the verification then you have to get a new number which by the way it opens at eight mandy and i got there at 8 15 and we did our number that we got at about 8 20 was not called until 11 30. yeah see there was almost so if you get [ __ ] on the number you ought to wait three more hours you got it yeah that's that's the thing you've got to do you're gonna start lining up at the california dmv if it opens at eight you should get there at 7 15. yeah literally mandy's co-workers were like get there early get there before it opens and we were like ah we'll wait a little like we don't want to get up at some jesus we got there at like 8 15 and it was like 30 people lined up out the door no open parking spots we had to wait for someone to finish and leave to park at the dmv it was and the biggest [ __ ] joke of the whole california dmv system is that when you move to the state and you start looking into it everywhere online and everyone you talk to is like just make an appointment oh yeah yeah all you gotta do is make an appointment and then you just show up they only schedule appointments up to three months into the future so it's not infinite there's a lit so there's that means there are a limited number of appointments that exist and they're always 100 percent booked i have looked on five different occasions at dmvs ranging from 15 to an hour and a half 15 minutes to an hour and a half away from our house none of them have ever had a single appointment available ever who makes these appointments and how do you get one you don't have to know somebody on the inside it's [ __ ] impossible what you have to do i think it's a scam what's hilarious there's a line at the dmv that's labeled appointments nobody [ __ ] came in that line the whole four hours they were there it was just a roped off area where the floor was clean and no humans ever entered i don't understand how it happens but it pissed me the [ __ ] off all right and uh also i made a mistake so while we were waiting for nobody to be called i had to drive home and obey all the speed limits to get an extra piece of mail and that was very stressful literally as i got back to the dmv building mandy was calling me and was like they call her number what do we do and i was like i'm running inside and i sprinted inside past a tiny asian family that i almost killed and then and then we did it but holy [ __ ] california dmv it literally feels like when you walk in they got up they got 20 people and a bunch of desks and [ __ ] and and five minutes before the doors had to open they were like all right everybody this is the dmv you all work at the dmv people need licenses and they need license plates your first customer's here figure it out and they were just like oh send them to this test take their picture i don't know like whoever planned that [ __ ] was on meth man what the [ __ ] it was a bad day chad it was a bad day and i'm very unhappy about it i'm glad i got to vent this to everyone there's nothing more than angry bob angry bob it's my favorite it comes it comes around rarely but when it comes around man i've been holding that in since saturday yeah you're like a comet orbiting the sun real slowly but when you do a flyby of earth and then it was a roped up area there's no human in everybody yeah uh california dmv worse than anything i've ever had to do in terms of forms and lines and it's just what the [ __ ] happened there man well if i was ever thinking about moving to california you just convinced me not to yep that's the reason don't do it yeah yeah don't you don't

Channel: Ledgend Weaver

Views: 235,808

Keywords: comedy, markiplier, bob, DMV

Id: 92sAAJj9_Ec

Length: 8min 20sec (500 seconds)

Published: Sun May 22 2022