Bill Burr vs. Tom Segura: Who's The Bigger Psycho??? - YMH Highlight

don't bring anyone love into this I'll take that I remember I like 43 year olds and met bill I don't know if I mentioned this on the last one but I met I met him in person I'd seen him on Chappelle show and you know yes and lay at the height of like its popularity and then I was at Melrose this is like I don't know what it was it was the year that you moved here and he was at the bar and I just started talking to him and he was like yeah you know I walked here and I go oh from where he goes Silver Lake oh my god walked here from Silver Lake he was like yeah kind of far I go yeah and I still in a New York yeah of course we bit which makes sense and he goes you know plus I want to be able to see a little bit of the city it's just like so much of it it's just like you know just go go go go go everybody up your asses you're trying to drive or something so and I gave him a ride back to his house I was like this is way far for a walk and then right before he got out of the car he goes uh do you want to see me come yeah all right and he you know he just jerked off and then he got out the car was just a meet two story thing is like I was I was I wasn't affecting you weren't so no I'm saying that I was like that's pretty cool man and he goes that's the secret to be good yeah and too many comics listen to me but that is the secret for all you young open my car out there gotta start doing it more we discovered that there's the weirdest story anybody's ever said oh it's the serial killer like tonne of the history is a complete lack of emotion thank you this happen yes yeah you know what and I know but missing from our stories the sound of somebody gagged screaming in the other room right now I know that you yeah and I know that you suspect that my husband is a psycho I've heard I've heard about yes yeah no I know and I've actually yeah and I've been trying to prove this on this show for it's just like you know is like Bud in his Bud Light there's like psycho and psycho light like he just he's not the the high-calorie one that can't get married and have kids that's right yes but if you if his thoughts were a movie yep yeah definitely nc-17 yeah he's a functioning psychopath yeah you know why because when I started dating involved this is a true story when I started dating Tom Segura back in 205 there were red flags little stuff like when we were remembering dead animals behind you you know in the beginning you're all lovey-dovey and uh and he'd be like I liked you so much I liked you so much I just want to gouge your eyes out I want to squish your face and kill you and put a sledgehammer in your head like that stuff Tom you're like I love you so much I just want to smash your goddamn head in I'm being serious you know somebody said that about my kid one time oh my God look at those feet I just want to cut him off and I was just like [ __ ] lunatics yeah right there you can't you can't be with a person like that so safe house we got a guest room well I'm two kids deep now I think I used to say like I want to put your head through that dress yes yeah yeah but I was like as an expression of love right and there were other things too like because you don't like love and you hate that it makes you feel weak or something that you want to violently take it out exactly right yeah and you know it worked out it did actually are you frustrated that you knew you had no control over the love that you had for your wife so then then you just use starting to feel trapped I think it was more of like I didn't know how to express how good I felt you know so I thought you try to play like dim-witted they're calculated yeah you're everything you need to be to make in this business yeah you just can't be creative and just be floating around like oh that tickles my artistic fantasy you have to have a plan but you got to leave your friends and family behind this is all these things when Oprah talks about women yeah you're gonna do this yes she leaves all that part out yeah you're gonna miss your children growing up right yeah get to the top of the mountain and you're going to be alone and have no real friends and there's a reason I never had children as Oprah because I don't give I don't have time for that [ __ ] I wanted to [ __ ] take over the world when I swing in this circle with both hands you can't you can't carry a kid yeah the other side of it of course you talk about me is that there's a lot of people writing in that bill is you know much more profound psycho no never yes no I'll tell you seen it no no I I wouldn't say that but I also hope that like he is feet fits the it's I get away with it being a redhead so everybody thinks Oh Opie Ron Howard they think like India the guy who doesn't get the girl the the [ __ ] awkward that's what they think him he looks like you know every time there's a [ __ ] serial killer yeah that is the exact hairline yep when they lead about that is he is the exact [ __ ] hairline yeah well that's that's why you're an extra psycho and Bill deals with his anger on stage right you've got acts these parts of your actor very the punching of the muffins it's very aggressive he deals with his anger creatively you suppress you push down you push down use what you're doing is you're you're looking at me on stage as if that's who I am like you got to talk to my wife my wife lives with me and I yeah I'm a [ __ ] lunatic would you express the rage it comes out creatively at least as what it also comes out in his personal life or you do you are you angry at home over the dumbest [ __ ] yeah the stupidest what what got you last time yeah what's the hey I don't know it's blind reaiiy got see red so I don't remember just don't [ __ ] [ __ ] you don't remember I go to Raj and it's locked and I don't have my keys yeah I'll just scream of course yeah yeah and when treehouse is down they'll hear it can you imagine by the way she has this trait if you think I'm bad what how you would be with mr. burr over here so if I drop my phone I go god damn it right like that [ __ ] he goes what happened drop my phone oh yeah because I had so much anger in my house growing up everybody's [ __ ] yelling all the time and I don't like it why did you pick this lunatic because he doesn't rage he suppresses it yeah and then he'll let it out a one big spurt like I'll really piss him off and then he'll let it let me have it but you have it it takes like a while let's let you hope the dog you poke the dog you poke the dog I don't bite really though you gotta fight I bite yeah like what I'm sure I'm way worse than him I don't want you guys bicker now hold on bill when you say of course god damn it right when you forget the keys what's the of course oh that is that easy that's the movie trailer that's not the movie of me getting angry I mean this it Tourette's yeah you just arrest I have like a strength it's almost like Carlin's seven dirty words like I can't do it unless I'm mad yeah I know [ __ ] is in there [ __ ] yeah what about dog crying [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] like yeah yeah yeah yeah I go I go mother [ __ ] god yeah yeah find God mother [ __ ] damn it but there's something about pronouncing the whole world it takes the edge off mother [ __ ] god damn [ __ ] yeah it just it takes it away you know it's it's good for you right there's studies about people who like done by angry scientists I got a lot of work to do on myself but I'm turning 50 this year so I'm already on the other side of it so maybe the last three turning fifties maybe the last three holes of golf course do you ever seen a shrink before therapy yeah I went to therapy well you went but you stopped going well after a while it's just like well you know I've told all the bad stories and I'm always gonna have problems it's just becoming like this you know life long car payment now to have to come over here be like well this happened yeah my garage door was looked and I just I just felt like a [ __ ] after a while like when are you gonna just you know get off this [ __ ] couch here and go Livia life and stop having to talk to this [ __ ] person yeah you're full of anger because you don't flog yourself for for being boasts would you stop it like you have some sort of psychology degree ten years in therapy it's a lot I thought your football for 40 years I shouldn't be somebody's coach yeah then you're gonna like superimpose your [ __ ] issues of the psychos in your life on to me it's like [ __ ] alcoholic say they're always like oh yeah you reading hey you drink you must be like me yeah the whole world cuz their attic so they're so [ __ ] self-involved the whole world has to be like them yes I agree I so glad you hear thunder scene in our place I'm the worst the worst I know and you you know think you're a [ __ ] shrink right now I mean let the guy be going I want to ask Bill something is this funny to you no Jesus so those guys yeah what's going on well he's backing into a mechanic's garage oh it's in another part of the world so he's just kind of you know taking his time kind of getting it aligned jesus [ __ ] it's funny cuz y'all happen dude some of you got to teach that person a little throttle control look at life life is cheap in that shop huh that guy took it like a champ though huh yeah pretty much man now but funny I saw you laughing it's funny cuz it shouldn't happen it's unexpected you didn't die yeah you know and it's no - but you think that that anything it part of the I think the guy in the red shirt would be a little more concerned unless he was the guy driving drive yeah isn't it isn't it a little funny extreme [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: YourMomsHousePodcast

Views: 2,940,871

Rating: 4.8895812 out of 5

Keywords: ymh, your mom's house, your moms house, tom segura, christina pazsitzky, christina p, mommies, jeans, up, high and tight, what's with the jeans, denim on denim, podcast, bill burr, mmp, monday morning podcast, psycho, tom segura is a psycho, bill burr is a psycho, anger management, rage, YMH 433, 433

Id: fZIiE92-NkU

Length: 11min 43sec (703 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 04 2018