FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS
A COMEDIAN ( BAND PLAYING )
WHO "ROLLING STONE" CALLED THE UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
OF RAGE-FUELED HUMOR. PLEASE WELCOME BILL BURR. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) >> RAGE-FUELED HUMOR. I DON'T EVEN THINK I'M MAD. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T THINK
THAT'S FAIR? YOU DON'T THINK THE DESCRIPTION
IS? >> NO, I'M JUST OLD. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE USED TO TALK. AND THEN I JUST LIVED LONG
ENOUGH, AND PEOPLE BROUGHT IT DOWN, YOU KNOW,. >> Stephen: PEOPLE ARE TOO
POLITE NOW? >> NOT POLITE. THEY'RE NICER. THEY'RE PLEASANT. THERE'S A PLEASANTNESS OUT
THERE. >> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT
DESCRIBING THAT WITH A PLEASANT TONE OF VOICE. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU MANAGED TO MAKE "PLEASANT" SOUND LIKE A NEGATIVE. >> I KNOW. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I GREW UP IN MASSACHUSETTS. THIS IS THE ACCENT. WE SOUND-- WE SOUND LIKE WE'RE
UPSET. I'M IN A GREAT MOOD. I GET A FREE MUG. I LOVE THE FREE MUG. >> Stephen: WE GIVE YOU THIS
MUG. >> YEAH! >> Stephen: I THOUGHT WE
WASHED IT OUT AND USED IT AGAIN. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TURN A
PROFIT ON THIS ONE. NOTHING MAKING YOU MAD? >> OH, THINGS UPSET ME, YES. I-- I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WANT TO-- LOOK, I FLY A
LOT, AND THERE'S THIS WHOLE NEW THING, GENERATION OF PEOPLE THAT
TAKE THEIR SOCKS AND THEIR SHOES OFF ON THE PLANE. YOU'VE GOT TO LOOK AT THEIR
SMELLY FEET, AND THEN THEY'LL LITERALLY STAND UP AND THEY WILL
WALK INTO A COMMERCIAL AIRLINE BATHROOM-- YEAH-- USE IT, AND
THEN WALK AND SIT BACK DOWN AGAIN. >> Stephen: THAT'S NOT RIGHT. >> YEAH! IF I WAS A DICTATOR, THOSE
PEOPLE LOBBY ELIMINATED. ( LAUGHTER )
I WOULD. >> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH? UH-HUH. >> THEY'RE ANIMALS. THEY'RE ANIMALS! I SAW A GUY, HE LITERALLY-- I
WAS IN L.A.X. TO COME OUT HERE, AND THE GUY HAD HIS SOCKS AND
SHOES OFF, AND HIS FEET UP ON HIS LUGGAGE, AND EVERYBODY HAD
TO LOOK AT HIS OLD 50-SOMETHING-YEAR-OLD FEET. AND I JUST KEPT PICTURING
BEATING THE BOTTOM OF HIS FEET UNTIL HE TOOK THEM OFF, LIKE
SHAME HIM INTO IT YOU. >> Stephen: MOVED HERE IN '95
TO NEW YORK CITY? >> YES, I DID. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE LIVED
HERE THE ENTIRE TIME SINCE THEN? >> NO, I LIVED IN L.A. BRIEFLY
IN THE LATE 90s, AND THEN CAME BACK HERE IN '99, LIVED HERE
UNTIL 2007, LOVED IT, AND SINCE THEN I'VE LIVED OUT IN L.A. >> Stephen: I MOVED HERE IN
'95, TOO. IT WAS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT
THEN. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: IT WASN'T QUITE AS
CLEANED UP AND AS NICE. >> NO, IT WASN'T. IT WAS A SCARY PLACE TO BE. AND CROWDS WERE NOT
IMPRESSPURPOSE THERE WERE DRUG ADDICTS, PEOPLE NODDING OFF,
LIKE ALPHABET CITY AND EVERYTHING. IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT PLACE TO
DO STAND-UP. AND NOW 20 YEARS LATER I CAME
BACK AND I WAS DOING STAND-UP LOCALLY, AND PEOPLE WERE LIKE
GROANING IN THE CROWD AT JOKE S. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED. THERE'S AN M&M STORE IN TIMES
SQUARE NOW, AND JUST KIND OF AFFECTED EVERYBODY, THEIR
MINDSET. AND EVERYTHING NOW IS, "OH, MY
GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD." YOU HAVE TO WALK THEM THROUGH
THE JEEK. I SAID, " I SAW A LESBIAN
WALKING THROUGH A RESTAURANT." AND EVERYBODY WAS LIKE, "OH, MY
GOD!" IT WAS UNDENIABLE. >> Stephen: THAT SHE WAS A
LESBIAN, YOU MEAN? >> YEAH, SHE WAS DRESSED LIKE
JOHN GOODMAN ON "ROSEANNE." IT WAS FUNNY TO ME. SHE WAS DRESSED LEAK A
CONSTRUCTION WORKER. IT'S FUNNY YOU WOULD JUST PICK A
JOB EYE LIKE WOMEN BUT I DON'T DRESS LIKE A PIRATE AND HAVE A
LANTERN AND WALK AROUND WITH IT. IT WAS JUST FUNNY. >> Stephen: MAYBE SHE WAS A
CONSTRUCTION WORKER. >> SHE WASN'T! HER HANDS WERE, LIKE, AS CLEAN
AS MINE. >> Stephen: SHE'S THE FOREMAN. >> I ALMOST GOT OFFENDED AS,
LIKE, A MAN, LOOKING AT HER LIKE, "LOOK, WE DON'T DO ALL OF
THAT! WE'LL WEAR SOME OF THAT. SHE HAD A COSTUME. SHE HAD THE HARD HAT AND THAT
SURVEYOR THING. YOU FEEL IT NOW. THEY'RE GETTING ALL-- THEY'RE
BACK OFF. "IS HE SAYING-- IS HE SAYING
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG?" NO, I'M SAYING SHE WAS DRESSED
RIDICULOUS. THE WOMAN WHO HAPPENED TO BE A
LESBIAN, IT WAS FUNNY THE WAY SHE WAS DRESSED. I'M GOING TO BE WASHED UP IN SIX
MONTHS. THEY'VE GOT A HERSHEY'S STORE
DOWN THERE. THE GIANT KISS THING WITH THE
STRING. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T LIKE
CANDY. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A
WHOLE STORE. IS THERE GOING TO BE A SNICKERS
STORE? HOW FAT DO THEY WANT TO MAKE
PEOPLE. >> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT AN
ANIMATED SHOW. WHERE IS "F IS FOR FAMILY"? >> IT'S ON NETFLIX. >> Stephen: I VERY VERY GOOD
THINGS. >> SEASON TWO. 10 EPISODES, JUST CAME OUT THE
OTHER DAY. <i>( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: WHY-- THIS IS-- IS
IT SET IN THE 1970s? BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS. >> YES, IT IS. >> Stephen: WHY DID YOU WANT
TO DO AN ANIMATION AND WHY THE 70s? >> JUST THROUGH TELLING FAMILY
STORIES DOING STAND-UP, AS A YOUNG COMIC, EVERYONE WOULD
LAUGH TELLING MY FAMILY STORIES. AND NOW I'M OLD AND THE
HELICOPTER PARENT KIDS CAME. >> Stephen: WE WERE LEFT
ALONE, WE WERE LEFT ALONE. >> YOU KNOW THE GUYS NOW, THEY
HAVE CUPCAKES AND KITTENS ON THEIR SHIRTS. AND IT ASTOWNDZ ME. I WAS LIKE IF I WORE ANYTHING
REMOTE LIKELY THAT I WOULD GET THE LIVING HELL BEATEN OUT OF
ME. HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT, ON THE
SUBWAY, WEARING THAT? IT BLOWS MY MIND. IT WASN'T THAT THEY WEREN'T
LAUGHING. THEY WERE FEELING BAD FOR ME. AND I HAD TO LOOK AT THE CROWD
AND GO, "I DESERVED THE BEATING. I DESERVED IT!"
SEE. >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP I
WANT TO SHOW THE PEOPLE. THIS IS-- YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN
SHOW. YOU'RE THE DAD IN THIS? >> YES, I PLAY FRANK MURPHY, WHO
IS AN AMALGUM OF EVERYBODY'S DAD IN THE WRITERS' ROOM. AND THIS IS KIND OF BASICALLY
WHAT DADS USED TO BE LIKE. WHEN I WAS GROWING YOU, YOU WERE
AFRAID OF YOUR DAD. HE CAME HOME, HE CAME IN THE
FRONT DOOR AND YOU WENT OUT THE BACK. YOU REMEMBERED STAYING IN THE
WOODS UNTIL HE LEFT. >> Stephen: WE SHOULD PROBABLY
SHOW THE CLIP. >> HEY, MR., ARE YOU A PERVERT? >> NO. >> THEN WHY ARE YOU STAND ACT
THAT LADY THROUGH THAT WINDOW LIKE ONE? >> THAT'S MY WIFE IN THERE. >> HOW COME YOU'RE NOT AT WORK? >> HOW COME YOU'RE NOT LEAVE
MEEG THE (BLEEP) ALONE. >> I'M GOING TO TELL MY DAD YOU
SWORE AT ME, HE'S A COP. >> THEN HE CAN SOLVE YOUR
MURDER. >> YOU HAVE TO STOP SWEARING AT
OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN. >> HEY, GO PLAY WITH YOUR
FATHER'S GUN! >> FRANK! >> I DIDN'T SWEAR! >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. THANK YOU, I HAD A GOOD TIME. >> Stephen: "F IS FOR FAMILY"
SEASON 2 IS SONETFLIX RIGHT NOW. BILL BURR, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY FLEET FOXES.
Conan is my go to Burr interviewer. I love Steven and everything, but Conan knows how to play off of Burr really well. He can see him setting into a joke and will amp the set up so Bill can lean into it with a strong punchline.
I don't think Colbert did a very good job with that interview to be frank.
Colbert sucked, the audience sucked.
Bill burr is hilarious, but it's like he said. 6 more months and the world is going to change and people like him will be a thing of the past. It'll be a sad day when people like Bill are seen widely as socially unacceptable. I wish people would lighten the fuck up, they're only jokes...
Man, I love Billy, but is it possible his jokes are just getting kind of played? He's been doing the "i'd exterminate this part of the population" bit for like 15 years, and his joke about seeing a lesbian was that she was dressed like a lumberjack. Just not his greatest stuff. Normally hes a dope interviewee, so part of it is probably Colberts shitty interviewing skills.
I feel like Colbert now plays a hyper-leftist as opposed to his Report persona. Its gotta be that, I really wish it is because he is painfully unfunny now. That and his whole self-rightous bullshit he spews, I'm guessing he knows what sells now and is catering to the audience. Its a shame he can't take himself less seriously.
Im a huge fan of bill burr but I honestly didn't find the candy and lesbian bits funny at all (not because of the PC bs or anything, they just didn't make me laugh). I though he was going to build it into something bigger but when he finished the bit I was just like "huh.. thats all there is to the joke i guess". I honestly don't think bill was at his best here and Colbert didn't really help much either.
Everyone's ragging on Colbert but I think this was one of those rare moments where Bill struggled to land his own joke. Colbert's 'stonewalling' would have been a lay up for an epic Burr monologue on Conan. Maybe Burr just wasn't as comfortable going all out with Colberts audience.
I saw this and don't remember what the joke was. I remember a joke he told that has some very slight political incorrectness to it bombed, but it wasn't funny and him kind of hinting the crowd might not be the right audience for it made it more awkward.