Biden Repairing Trump’s Damage, Anti-Vaxxers Spreading Garbage Disinformation & Cicadas!

oh hi everyone i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show thank you thank you for joining us on day one of joe biden's european vacation this is the president's first joint jaunt first join he finally he got really high on air force one i'm trying to picture joe biden on air force one he seems like the type of guy who travels with a neck pillow and then spends the whole flight talking to the stewardess about his favorite restaurant in cincinnati or something but joe biden is in europe for his first overseas trip his itinerary is packed eight days three countries no malarkey they're originally supposed to stop in malarkey but they decided no right now biden is in england and unlike the last time a president visited england this time when he rings the doorbell the queen won't have to pretend she's not home queen's not here the queen went to the mall or something biden will meet with the queen on sunday and he's scheduled to have a private meeting in geneva next week with vladimir putin i hope he brings his dog major to that one that's that's the russian p tape i really want to see biden joe biden is hoping to repair some of the damage that trump did to our relationships with our allies he's calling this the less shoving more loving tour and it's exciting for america it's like introducing our new fiancee to all our friends you know we haven't been as close over the last few years because our you know our ex was a loud lying cheater who never picked up the check but now we got a new guy he's a little boring he's not exactly george clooney but he treats us well and he doesn't throw starburst fruit shoes at the other world leaders so it should be nice the the news coverage of biden's trip got off to a bumpy start the white house press plane was delayed almost seven hours today because a swarm of cicadas flew into the engine of the plane if this was a movie the government would have to go to a cabin in the woods to convince sully sullenberger to do one last job but these poor cicadas they come out once every 17 years they're like hey guys we're like gross get away from us and then we just want to go check out the engine of this plane and they're so out of touch you know they haven't been out above ground since 2004 and it really shows i mean look at this one ed hardy's shirt von dutch hat he's using a blackberry i think oh he's wearing one of those livestrong bracelets it's embarrassing you know as if uh covet and cicadas weren't enough health officials are now saying we could be headed for the worst flu season ever remember the flu i missed the flu i barely anyone got the flu this year because of all the masks and the social distancing but now that things are opening up they're saying it may return with a vengeance i don't know what it's so mad about we had a little thing with another virus so calm down the good news at least on the coven front is vaccines for children as young as six months old are expected to be available in the fall unfortunately for parents most kids are anti-vaxxers i mean name one toddler whoever willingly got a shot there aren't any they're gonna have to have a lollipop lottery or something to get right now our vaccines are at risk of going to waste millions of johnson and johnson vaccines expire at the end of this month and the government is trying to figure out what we're going to do with them because people don't want them three months ago we would have sold a kidney to get a vaccine now we're it's like their bed bath and beyond coupons or something and part of the problem is there are a lot of anti-vax holes going around infecting our minds with garbage like uh this woman dr sherry tenpenny who appeared yesterday before the ohio house of representatives health committee to claim among other untrue things that the vaccine somehow turns humans into magnets there's been people who've long suspected that there was some sort of an interface yet to be defined an interface between what's being injected in these shots and all of the 5g towers not proven yet but i'm sure you've seen the pictures all over the internet of people who've had these shots and now they're magnetized and put a key on their forehead it sticks they can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick because now we think that there's a metal piece to that all right yes you'd think 5g was a scam too if no one wanted to call you on the phone but dr 10 penny wasn't the only one to weigh in with her 10th cents the house in ohio got a live demonstration of how this human magnetism works yes vaccines do you harm people by the way so i just found out something when i was on lunch and i wanted to show it to you we were talking about dr 10 pennies testimony about magnetic vaccine crystals so this is what i found out so i have a key and a bobby pin here explain to me why the key sticks to me it sticks to my neck too i got this yeah so if somebody can explain this that would be great yeah any questions yes yeah i have a question do you have kids and how can we save them from you right guillermo so you know the olympics are supposed to start next month in tokyo whether the people of japan want them to or not it would seem they do not want them to there's not a lot of vaccination happening there but the olympics are going forward anyway you know i've wanted to compete in the olympics ever since i think ever since i saw lionel richie uh sing all night long at the closing ceremonies in 84. so well everyone else has been at home baking banana bread guillermo and i have been in training serious training we learned to speed walk we did cartwheels kind of with gabby douglas and uh while those did not work out at all we are very upbeat about our newfound ability to fence [Applause] where is he what's up guys how you doing i'm good nice to meet you guys nice to meet you too i've got to be careful with this yeah it's loaded exactly well thanks for having us here at the fencing center i can't believe there's a center for fencing i didn't know there were enough people to to fill a center yeah bro they got them all over the place and they're all over some kind of fencing term b-r-e-a-u-x like no it's it's from the french term okay exactly so this sport comes from french yeah but now we got all over the world uh in the us right now our team is currently ranked number one in the world going into the olympics congratulations thank you so much you meddled in the olympics yes uh i got two medals in rio one silver in the individual one bronzing team and we just won the world championships in 2019 uh as a team so why don't i bring my teammate in nick yeah bring in nick guys hi man what's up bro what's up bro why is it called fencing it comes from the french word ice cream ice cream ice cream exactly listen when i come from if you say oh let's go fencing we're going to jump the fence you know we're going to like cross the board jump the fence to the other side and together we don't have fencing like this this is a fancy sport right this is a great big yeah yeah you should work this out at the comedy store yeah all right all right so um it's a french thing it goes back a long time it has correct me if i'm wrong no practical use now if there's a zombie apocalypse we're probably pretty well suited with like a machine i don't think so yeah you'd have to switch the machete is machete part of the sport no we use in mexico mm-hmm right yeah we add that to the bit yeah okay so um what's the first step how do you get into this so first thing we'll teach you the on guard stance so what you want to do is you go put your feet at 90 degrees like this and then just bring your front foot to like about shoulder width like that and then bend your knees a little bit perfect you guys look like naturals already so if you want to go forward you do something called an advance step forward and then bring your back foot one yeah and then boom yeah exactly and the opposite would be a retreat and then the most important thing is when you're ready to try and attack your opponent you do something called a lunge so you just go like that seen that in the movies exactly what i know that's pretty good for someone who's never done a lunch before which country is the best at fencing right now we're ranked number one in the world as a team what about our latinos mexican are they they're okay they're right they send a guy in our event and you know in the olympics i might actually end up matching up with him i have a 50 50 chance i bet you guys he doesn't have no chance they have a whole different definition of fencing right here where's f joko again how's that big go no we say hey let's go fancy we jump the fence and that's it we'll work it out okay all right and this is interesting there's actually a um a plug that goes into is this the sword the foil yeah it's weird it's like an electric blanket or something exactly it's an electric vest it'll tell you whether or not you hit the target okay all right from there it'll hook up to the back of your lemay into one of these reels oh i'm actually connected yeah you're gonna get connected can i test it on him so now we're hooked up to electricity and that yeah you see that indicates that you got me wow how about that if it starts raining or something we will die right we will fry i mean that's why we're indoors all right bro let's do this bro [Music] how did you guys get into this it's actually kind of a coincidence but both of our parents are coaches my dad was a three-time olympian for the u.s team so it runs in your family i guess so yeah my sister also just qualified for this team for her first olympic games you know runs in my family eczema okay let's [Applause] [Music] whoa it's surprisingly violent i have to say yeah oh my gosh would you consider yourselves to be swashbucklers no really not no it's like you touched a nerve there i think does anyone actually say touche they usually say toush it's not touched unless my french is completely wrong well you must know i mean we're going to start a a fencing fan club called the touch bags yeah [Applause] are you ready jimmy i'm ready guillermo defense oh i think the fact that my arm is eight inches longer than his is going to be a bit of an advantage yeah you're gonna have to be crafty gear i'm gonna get in here super fast yeah all right ready fence [Music] hey but i touch him first girl you actually have to hit them harder oh i want to have a job on monday what about for this one if we have our graphics team make these into lightsabers wouldn't that be awesome if you want to do that we do [Applause] [Music] [Music] you chucked my hand off [Music] and seen all right well first of all do you think it's too late for us to make the team i mean we just solidified our team not that long ago so we should focus on 2024 yeah hopefully you know you'll be competing with us for 2024. well thanks guys um i will be watching you at the olympics now this is exciting to know somebody and to be able to put a face to this appreciate that and good luck guys thank you all right it's good it's fast and i like it now it's like you gotta move fast and you gotta like ice on the up and then it's it's good it's a great description of it guillermo you had fun yeah i had a lot of fun jimmy now i learned what fencing means because where you come from it's different right yeah where i come from fencing where i come from fencing is where you jump the fence over the border [Applause] okay uh in mexico we use machete to fight not a foil these are fencing jokes well guys i'm getting the light thank you and good night [Music] congratulations on making it to the end of a youtube video why not celebrate by clicking the subscribe button you earned it

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 981,800

Rating: 4.7944913 out of 5

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Pandemic, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Social Distancing, Quarantine, Monologue, Joe Biden, Air Force One, Travel, Vladimir Putin, White House, Cicadas, Flu Season, Vaccines, Johnson and Johnson, Sherri Tenpenny, 5G, Ohio, Congress, Louis Gohmert, Airports, TSA, Olympic games, Fencing, Guillermo

Id: H9QzOpHAFW4

Length: 13min 35sec (815 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 09 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/DoctorChancla]

This hurts to watch but as long as it draws more people into the sport I’m happy

[u/Demphure]

I thought the “touchebag” was funny

[u/Allen_Evans]

Oooof. Painful to watch. Yeah, fencing in the media yah yah yah, but very little respect for fencing itself.

What if Kimmel had a couple of NBA stars in a gym to teach him to dribble and he said: "You know what, I've always been a big fan of 'Space Jam". Could we do this with an animated rabbit?".

[u/zanimum]

The intro starts at the 5 minute, 8 second mark, and the segment itself starts at 5 minutes, 45 seconds.

[u/uiiilissssss]

Those points up made me nervous; fencing is not harmless when unmasked

[u/EpeeHS]

Asking what practical purpose fencing has is such a weird question. I'm pretty sure other than track (and maybe shooting) there's 0 sports with a practical purpose.

[u/FencerOnTheRight]

Eh, not as cringey as it could have been, and at least a ton of people saw it! The more coverage fencing gets, the better, and at least this wasn't some stupid "lucid dreaming will win me a world championship" movie...

I think the last time fencing was on a late night talk show, it was the Tonight Show and Tim Gunn talking about getting into fencing at Tim Morehouse's club and having to buy his first pair of sweatpants :-)

[u/Stabby_fencer]

hmm, I'm no linguist but I'm pretty sure the english "Fencing" comes from a root word meaning "to defend" (defensa?) whereas the french "escrime" as well as other romance languages (esgrima, scherma) come from a root word meaning "to skirmish/fight" (scrim?).

Probably also why in english we build fences in order to defend an area.

[u/MaelMordaMacmurchada]

lol at 6:36 "2019 world championship"