Bernie Mac " Better Than Cornbread" Kings of Comedy

[Applause] we doing good like a front row seat like a summer my [ __ ] man i don't give a [ __ ] what you're talking about boy i love me some white people [ __ ] they take care of business bought your ticket early you've been lying last month black holes coming in the middle of the [ __ ] show training cussing want to be seen some of them a [ __ ] i've been black a long time i'm telling about the black folk i've been like a long [ __ ] time dawg i know what we do we're gonna start some [ __ ] we're gonna argue [ __ ] it up don't tell me man every time i come to seattle man's [ __ ] raining i feel like crying right goddamn now what the [ __ ] is going on with this goddamn every time i land i'm happy man i feel sad at somebody for some reason every time it's cold and [ __ ] rain this summer i'm a [ __ ] i wrote 14 suicide notes the last night i said watch and see i'm going to do it watch this video i'm old boy war 43 good shape boy i'm about to change more about a change i ain't gonna [ __ ] you man you know you know now i go to the doctor see first black folks will go to the doctor let something happen to you you fall knock your teeth out or some [ __ ] like that you know white folk go to dentist they get braces five years old i'm starting to do that [ __ ] 43. [ __ ] bother me go go to the [ __ ] doctor gas is a [ __ ] i hate gas the other day god damn it man let me chase him that gas was all up in my [ __ ] chest boy [Applause] had gas up in your [ __ ] back man i thought i was having a heart attack like a son of a [ __ ] i walked my wife off shook the [ __ ] out of you know what's wrong come on come on take me to the hospital come and take your house every time i get the pain boy i run a goddamn hospital head hurt what's wrong with you come come take me to the hospital dick hurt the other day man that's sharp pain so what's wrong with you come on run into the hospital i got to see what the [ __ ] is going on man do you know when you hear people die you don't be like man john died but i damn how old was this see when you get when you start getting older you start checking to see if they're close to you 47 god damn i'm 43 my stomach been hurting for come on take me to the hospital [Applause] i was doing the puss all the day man had a sharp pain come up my goddamn thigh one might say don't stop i said wipe your ass and come on rush to the hospital [Applause] [ __ ] that man i ain't got time to play man man we grown folks up in here tell me tell you something i'm sick of tired of bullshitting [ __ ] around man what's that making me so sick now man i don't know what to do i used to love me some [ __ ] man what's the number the drug don't tell me i'm wearing the patch right now [Applause] man i ain't never seen i ain't never seen coochie hold on i ain't never seen a woman come to a man say yes let's do this yes i want to be a part of you come on let's have sex you get yours i get mine but a month later i got to pay [ __ ] rent for it something wrong here i ain't never knew no media was on no ass man they never knew no god damn he's not [ __ ] ass that's why i won't know because they'd be all in the back all in the back if i show you right now walk around butt naked get out no draw don't [ __ ] with me i don't want none of it i don't want none of it leave me the [ __ ] alone i'm not interested i don't care don't come sitting by me don't come putting it back i wanna smell it i wanna be around the [ __ ] that [ __ ] expensive i can't take care of that meat [ __ ] i get something somebody gonna starve and when i get hungry i'm gonna have to go to hospital come take me to the hospital i'm telling i can hear women funny women so goddamn funny man man it just amazed me how how women got control over everything women got man that's that that pink song [ __ ] is a [ __ ] if you have an argument with your woman your wife man and y'all ain't spoke for like two weeks that's a [ __ ] somebody mad [ __ ] don't talk to you for two weeks boy you got a problem when you walking in the house and she's walking down i'm saying god damn how and y'all get this guy damn close and y'all slide by each other somebody mad like a [ __ ] when you land in the bed and she lay all the way the [ __ ] over there and you all the way the hell over here somebody mad like a sandwich and when your leg touched her leg she screwed all the way to the goddamn edge somebody mad like a [ __ ] when she so goddamn man she washed everybody's clothes in the house but your [Applause] your dooky ass draws still in the goddamn hamper [Applause] somebody mad like a [ __ ] when she cooked for everybody in the house but your ass you get up in the morning come in the middle of the night and then in the evening all the kids eating you looking around ain't nothing else on the stove you tell the kid let me get a little bite uh oh no no that's all she cooked daddy you know that's some [ __ ] who the [ __ ] you know just cooked full chicken wing [Applause] stank and ass me we can't do like women do i was talking about gas early it's funny it's the truth when you have pass gas me we can't pass gas women can pass gas don't think [ __ ] about it us they kick our ass out you have nothing i'm serious look at this y'all get mad the [ __ ] you're past gas man your gas is changed gears you break off like that get your stinking ass on out here [Applause] kids up in here bastard but a woman of thought while she cooking and [ __ ] stirring the cake i just be looking at stanking ass we actually [Applause] oh they funny have you ever made love to your woman they make and she fought it boy but you know something the whole way she fought you want that [ __ ] so bad you sure don't stop though boy you hit that ass boy you be hitting it oh [Applause] [Applause] when you get in the car when you get in the car you talk about the ass like a dog see you later bruh she stinking ass [ __ ] gonna fart all on my dick and [ __ ] oh you

Channel: Walter Latham Comedy

Views: 4,415,269

Keywords: black comedy, funny videos, black comedians, funny, hilarious, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Amy Schumer, laugh, bernie mac, bernie mac show

Id: raDfj5ZPaeQ

Length: 7min 28sec (448 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 29 2018