Bernie Mac "Put Your Mama on the phone" Kings of Comedy Tour

the more that's what a guy I go [ __ ] I was nervous than a [ __ ] why look at the house I looked at the clock look at the house look at the clock my buddy drove up I was so glad to see that sumbitch man or do I said man what's that we can read go man come on leave it for a few minutes have a few beers [ __ ] for you all of it I wanted some company like a [ __ ] on me man I didn't want that might want to go on that [ __ ] house buy my goddamn self see black wasn't something else they won't be sleep baby playing like they [ __ ] sleep they hear the car is no your car door slamming no they know that [ __ ] they know they that's him they know they know when they hear that you look at the clock and [ __ ] you know man my stupid black ass came in that [ __ ] house I pushed that muhfucka dog look around I'm [ __ ] sittin in there in the chair looking at cheese that back then I tell them don't go nowhere last night I said look here that's when you're nervous will you say [ __ ] twice I look here look here ain't no need you start no [ __ ] I'm gonna tell you how scared I was that's a true story I went out man known for my [ __ ] nerves boy was all my boy how she kept calling and my buddies kept eating Mac your wife keep calling man call her back I said I'm not calling her back man I told him I'd be back at 12 so you know where your boys guessing she'd only beat your balls all goddamn night right man you push the [ __ ] [ __ ] some [ __ ] big black [ __ ] you scared all right right there I said my wife don't run a [ __ ] thing with her goddamn mouth give me that goddamn phone I got that [ __ ] phone I doubt horn I was mad that summer my [ __ ] I got the phone or the hello shut the [ __ ] up and just pay attention don't say a [ __ ] word that damn don't worry about where the [ __ ] I am I'm out I'll be back when the [ __ ] I get there I'm they one thing when I get that goddamn I better have some need and it better be good and it better be hot one more kick your ass like extra point you think I'm [ __ ] let me speak to your mama [Applause] ain't no food been so we laughing joke man Sena we like I said I'm getting older now I ain't in that [ __ ] no more now I'm in the love I'm into what people get and all that kind of stuff I ain't talking about money and superficial thing I saw a friend of mine man yet last night I said date her a long time ago man she good people when I first met him am talk about 1981 man you know she wasn't the most attractive person in the world she was good people you know she had a patch on I you know don't be she was good people she were good people you know and if I really liked I took her to dinner man she had a glass eye you know and I never touched where he never had sex but this night was gonna have sex that night you know I took her to dinner man she had the soup I had the salad I never forget man she she was eating the soup and the soup was real hot she put the patch on my eye to give her eyes some air and the steam on the soup was getting an eye and I mean so high I accidentally fell in the soup no it's true [ __ ] this is she was good people she was good people you know so she accidentally ate the [ __ ] eye I didn't know it I didn't know what so that night went got a hotel on everything man we landed there was kissing it's my first time get ready to do something to her she was special she's good people and I was sucking on my neck you know kissing her breasteses you know now I'm working myself down towards her stomach you know she got a little nervous she said no man I don't want to do it and I said baby's gonna be all right just lay down relax I'ma be cool with you just relax so I had to start all over cuz she [ __ ] up my momentum you know so I'm something online if again kissing on the breast is I'm working myself back down to all the secret you know she jumped up again no I'm not gonna feel like I said looking fo you [ __ ] up now I'm gonna try this [ __ ] gonna let you [ __ ] this down so I had to start all [ __ ] over here you know so I got the neck the bristles again got down toward the bird all that jumping back and forth made her I wrong down so when I got to a secret I was looking there now this [ __ ] I don't trust no goddamn back [Applause]

Channel: Walter Latham Comedy

Views: 2,347,739

Rating: 4.8604407 out of 5

Keywords: black comedy, funny videos, black comedians, funny, hilarious, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Amy Schumer, laugh, bernie mac, bernie mac show, standup comedy

Id: eCTB2I9v1I8

Length: 4min 48sec (288 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 04 2019