Bernie Mac "Nail Salon" Kings of Comedy Tour

that's the best I wish you the doctor saying that [ __ ] [ __ ] do for me and they do something so you got to get in on three minutes that's all like that's all I'm about strong I'm three minutes I don't give a [ __ ] three minutes strong three minutes a heavyweight one-round fight I see [ __ ] getting knocked out in the first round I ain't Sheamus head I'm chasing if you'll come with my black ass huh you know [ __ ] up you can talk about me all the [ __ ] you want I don't give a [ __ ] I got mine goddamn it you better hustle and get you first of all black when they talk we got that much so you're trying to [ __ ] anything trying to be romantically they want to talk you like it just Punk goddammit we pump now I wanna know if you like it I wouldn't be [ __ ] be playing like wait you gonna take with them on [ __ ] tomorrow right now well knock your punk ass out that's why I tell you when you're sleeping I swear I like your own talk with your sleep you ever took somebody with your sleep before they paying nine if you sleep you try to get it maybe what you trying to do what the [ __ ] do you think trying to bust your ass yo [ __ ] that's alright Kong what's wrong I know I'm changing I know my body changing you know when you change can't use washroom when it hurt you know that's when your body getting old you better put your hand on the wall take a piss and and you grunt ah or you break wind and that [ __ ] hurt that's a hard feeling boy I said brick hard to be walking same time we're just keep on walking now I gotta stop hurt you know you know I'm telling you to everybody sitting there like I said a lot of white people here which is great I said a lot of agents which is great Asian people that's just that some L don't one [ __ ] man Asian people funny the [ __ ] I'll get my nails done another day man black folks I've been black a long time I know my people the inline Dan line I'll get my nails done so she came in start so she's know he starts yet but okay man starting [ __ ] right away may I help you please my help this [ __ ] up my nails it's [ __ ] up my nail tracing no [ __ ] here no [ __ ] yeah it's a white [ __ ] at wet [ __ ] at I don't see the [ __ ] I don't see the [ __ ] but have to see FCB what your five minutes five minutes you knows I'm gonna put the top English there tiny do your mom they're gonna add for money then normal start talking a partner to me and he's talking to people on fine I break that [ __ ] right away don't start talking over got their career [ __ ] right here maybe think you're talking about my mama something on me it's gonna be a misunderstanding around this [ __ ] [ __ ] man I've been about 25 years my wife man I love my wife I love me some black my mind everything a white woman ever isolating for no applause pay attention I ain't said for no Paul I'm trying to food porn but sometimes I do want to change your black wouldn't make me mother sick I just want to try it what the [ __ ] is on the other side but my mother the wife bring me 25 years she don't think I'm going no goddamn well I never hit my wife but I thought about it I thought about that muhfucka whole life if I smoke weed for something I can play like I'm high so my coming knocked the [ __ ] out her ass man this month are gonna be my momma I'm 43 years old my momma did I don't nobody tell me what the [ __ ] that dude like we want to run your life they won't tell your control they want to be your mama it won't be your daddy it won't be your accountant you wanna be your preacher there won't be your [ __ ] Lord or wife tell me what the [ __ ] I can't go wake up cuz I'm going out not tonight ain't going on got that work so I know some [ __ ] get ready get the [ __ ] fan not you know me I'm trying to argue with this Heffel you know I'm saying what the [ __ ] you mean ain't going ok I said you ain't go you went out Monday you play pool to Z you win hunting Thursday I don't give up I'm out front I'm upset you go out Friday and come back and see what the [ __ ] on having tea you know I can't have her talk to me like that I was nervous like a mother I thought about it I hate go for [ __ ] I still when I was got the keys you know I went over there you know I got the cheese she did Mac ambush and I said I'm gonna go I'll be right back you know he'd come to Punk him in there I was walking through the door to plunk start getting into me you know aw I'm gonna be right back you need some [Applause] let me bring something back man I couldn't play cause right now all goddamn night all night mount was nervous back up [ __ ] scrap saving some goddamn cars I kept thinking about this [ __ ] ever coming back home man when I pulled up man I put around five o'clock in the morning I swear the guy y'all I go [ __ ] I was nervous than a [ __ ] why I looked at his house I looked at the clock look at the house look at the clock my buddy drove up I was so glad to see that sumbitch man don't do I said man what's that we can't go man come on here for a few minutes have a few beers [ __ ] for you all of it I wanted some company like a [ __ ] on me man I didn't want that might wanna go on that [ __ ] house buy my goddamn 70 black with something else they don't be sleep baby playing like these [ __ ] sleep they hear that I didn't know your car don't slam in no they know that [ __ ] they know think that's him they know they know when they hear that she look at the clock and [ __ ] [Applause]

Channel: Walter Latham Comedy

Views: 1,740,623

Keywords: black comedy, funny videos, black comedians, funny, hilarious, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Amy Schumer, laugh

Id: IVctrxmnYE0

Length: 6min 46sec (406 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 11 2019