Before You Say I Do - Wednesday Service

father we thank you for this another opportunity to minister to these your precious sheep thank you lord that revelation knowledge will flow freely uninterrupted and unhindered by any satanic or demonic force and father i pray that you will speak through my vocal cords and think through my mind none of me all of you it's in jesus name we pray and everybody said amen well i'd like to welcome the uh crew tonight and we are in the midst of talking about what i call the understanding series that's why last week we talked about understanding how to deal with to how do you how you deal with the death of a loved one and tonight i want to talk to you about you know i call this before you say i do and it's dealing with relationships it's dealing with marriage and i want to get right into this tonight um i want to talk i want to give you first of all 10 things to know before you say i do there are 10 things that everybody who's ever thought about you know hooking up and being married there are things that you need to understand before you say i do and i believe if you just hear these things and if you understand these things then when it's time for that big day to come you'll be able to do it and have some preparation on how to handle it so what are those 10 things that you need to understand and get a hold of before you say i do let's jump right into it number one don't ignore the experience of single life don't ignore the experience of single life it is this is so important before you say i do you've got to live life as a single person what i mean by that that you need to enjoy your life while you're single you need to take the time to to travel take the time to explore take the time to to to locate your your workplace and things that you want to do in your life uh you might want to take the time to work out some of those uh uh issues that you're going through in your own life cert certain kinks in your own life you need to work out the reason why i say it's so important for you to not ignore the experience of living the single life is because listen to this careful know yourself before you try to get to know somebody else you you need to know yourself before you uh try to know someone else and so that's very important number one don't ignore the experience of the single life here's the second thing you you need to know before you say i do you need to become financially fit you need to become financially fit you need to to get financially sound i don't know what your financial picture may look like but before you say i do you need to become financially sound one of the one of the worst things you can do is to bring debt in that marriage and yet there's something probably worse than that uh than bringing debt in your marriage it's also when you bring uh bad financial habits into your marriage the the thing you don't want to do before you say i do you don't want to bring baggage or luggage in that marriage you don't want to bring unnecessary burdens to that marriage so before you say i do you want to get financially fit or financially sound number three before you say i do understand that people change now this is something that you need to understand before you say i do you need to understand that you know that's that person you're going to marry your spouse they are going to change they will change because of circumstances they will change because of events and situations and different influences that show up in their life and you have to understand that and know that the key to success i believe in your marriage is knowing ahead of time that you will need to be able to adapt to a changing spouse and a changing you over the years that's something you need to know before you say i do you need to understand that this person that you're getting ready to marry that you can expect and you've got to realize that people change and by understanding that then you make the necessary adjustments number four here's the fourth thing you need to know before you say i do put your priorities in order put your priorities in order you need to look and understand the priorities that need to be put in order uh if you're accustomed to hanging out if you're a guy and you're accustomed to hanging out you know six nights out of a week or girl you're accustomed to hanging out with your girlfriends three or four nights of week and on a weekend it's time to change those priorities you you have to understand before you say i do that you're gonna have to understand it's time to to change those priorities uh but you must respect your spouse you know when you when you take your your vow and you should communicate your priorities listen to this well before setting a date to be marriage you need to talk about those priorities you should communicate those priorities you have to understand that you're entering into a marriage relationship which involves love and when you make one another priority you are adding value in that marriage and if you maintain the priorities that you've always had and yet you say you love one another but you're not willing to adjust those priorities then in a sense you may be uh subconsciously devaluing one another and that's why it's so important to talk about those priorities and to communicate those priorities before the big day takes place very very very important here's number five here's the fifth thing you need to know before you say i do and this is a big one i can guarantee you this communication is essential communication is essential that communication between you or and your spouse or your your future spouse that's so very very important now i'm understanding from you know the from my own marriage is that communication is like the lifeblood of a relationship and uh you've got to be intentional and you've got to be deliberate when communicating with your spouse now this could be as simple as you know calling if you know that you're not going to be home at the regular time or maybe you made a decision you made a decision to do something different it's important to to not only start with uh great communication but continue and it's it's a difference between your you said something uh but you were not heard uh communication involves you know both saying and hearing and it involves being a good listener as much as it involves someone saying something so you have to practice that and communication is the lifeblood to a successful relationship so before you say i do check out your communication uh are you guys communicating in a way where um it's becoming something that uh is valued and something that brings peace to that relationship number six this is a big one before you say i do make sure you understand the importance of respecting one another that's right respect is huge before you say i do you have to respect your your spouse respecting the relationship determines how severe and how often conflict will be in your relationship respect's going to determine that and what you got to understand you've got to learn how to first of all you got to learn how to respect yourself and when you can respect yourself you can adequately respect your future spouse now what now what do i mean i don't want us on different pages where respect is concerned as far as its definition but respect is simply this it's considering the feelings and the needs of another over your own considering the feelings and the needs of others over your own and that's something that's so very very important that it has to be in marriage in order for marriage to work but before you say i do that that just needs to be a part of your relationship and if you can't see that you're being respected properly before you say i do then maybe you need to reconsider here's the seventh uh thing that you need to know before you say i do i say it like this number seven quitting can't be an option uh quitting cannot be an option you know i've heard it say it before you know you know somebody says you know you're going to a marriage and you you say to yourself well if this particular thing happens or if i find out this then i'm out you know so you you've got to be open you know you you can't go in with attitude if this happens i'm out you got to go in the attic you got to go in with an attitude that says if this happens then i am going to walk in forgiveness and regardless you got to make your mind up that forgiveness is what i'm after i'm going to to operate in in forgiveness now please don't misunderstand me i'm not talking about mental verbal or physical abuse that's not what i'm talking about at all i will never advocate somebody staying around physical mental or verbal abuse but what i'm saying is is that you know it's important to show commitment to your future spouse uh don't threaten to leave don't mention leaving be committed and what you should be communicating is i'm not going anywhere what you're what you should be communicating is i'm not going to quit i mean who wants to walk down the aisle with somebody feeling like if you you know if you do just one little thing that they're just gonna quit on you so before i say uh before you say i do you want to make sure that you feel very confident and comfortable that there is a commitment to remain in this marriage until death do you part number eight here's the eighth thing you need to understand before you say i do uh is this person someone you can't live without in other words make sure you can't live without this person make sure that this is someone you can't live without now i'm not talking about someone that you can live with there might be some people that you can live with but the one that you can't live without that's the one you want to be with now one of the things that i want you to consider that if you are dating casually right now and and and you can go you know five days and not talk to one another or maybe even two weeks and not talk to one another maybe you need to reconsider whether or not you are the right person to marry marriage is a covenant between between two people it's it's it's this issue of you know you are my best friend and i'm gonna tell you something you know best friends talk and uh you know they have conflicts yes but they are fair about dealing with their conflicts and uh you need to just think about this if your spouse disappears from your life right now the today if your spouse disappears from your life how would you respond and so the test is you know i remember when i was dating my wife i i had to hear her talk all the time and sometimes i just sit on the phone listen to her breathe it was the person i i can't live without it's the one i i i can't see myself living my life without and that's what you gotta ask yourself you you don't wanna just find yourself settling for somebody you can live with and it that's just no fun it just doesn't end up right and then you're going to use this excuse a little later on well i love him but i'm not in love with him and you're making up all that kind of stuff so this is this is something you need to know before you say i do number nine number nine a successful marriage needs 100 effort a successful marriage needs 100 effort and before you say i do the question is are you prepared to give a hundred percent effort in that marriage now there is a saying that marriage is a 50 50 uh split and i can't i can't i can't uh disagree more it's it's it's that's just the biggest bunch of stuff that i've ever heard of a marriage is not a 50-50 split marriage is every each person in that marriage doing 100 as much as you possibly can giving it your best to to make it work out i mean who wants to go into marriage knowing that you're only giving a 50 effort well you you want both partners to be able to give a 100 effort and to give it all that they have marriage will chew you up and spit you out if you go into it thinking that you can get by uh giving half an effort it does not work that way it will not work if you think you can get by giving just uh you know half of an effort to do that so be prepared to go into that marriage ready to give 100 effort ready to do all that you understand and all that you can do to to make it uh make it right and then number 10 number 10 is listen don't stop dating don't stop dating dating you know i i remember if you just go back and think about the first time you went out on a date and how your heart was pounding and how you how you were you so excited and and it was just like you know it was not like you had to do this big stuff just the fact that you could be together and i began to think about that dating is celebration it's the celebrating of of one another and don't just throw that to a side i'm married we don't need to go on no dates anymore yeah but brother doll i can't afford to you know i remember the first date i went on my wife i didn't have no money i was broke as the ten commandments that moses dropped at the bottom of mount sinai but i i i was creative uh uh let's let's go on a pit knit i had picnic i had some bologna and some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches i had a little blanket i tell you what i was so excited well don't stop doing that dating is you know celebrating her dating celebrates him that's very very important now besides these 10 things that you do before you say i do there are five questions that i think are valuable that you need to ask yourself five questions that i believe you need to ask your self before you say i do and the first one is this listen to this now does this person support your dreams or your goals does this person that you're getting ready to marry do they support your dreams do they support your goals can you talk openly and honestly to that person now this is so so very important a huge part of loving someone is supporting their hopes supporting their dreams it's also supporting their their flaws their little cork kirk quirks that they have in their life and you've got to ask yourself is that person supportive of me you become the other person's loudest cheerleader you become the other person's biggest advocate are you getting ready to say i do to your cheerleader are you getting ready to say i do to your advocate you know you are the breath of life you breathe that life into that other spouse and you're ready to help them work through adversity you know are you going to be there to be supportive to help me through the adversities of my life to help me reach out and to you know develop my god-given potential and some of the hardest times that i experienced in my life it was the arms of my wife that was there to support me to cheer me on to build me up to walk me through and it's so important that you ask yourself this question do i believe that this person that i'm getting ready to say i do to are they supportive am i going to be able to talk to them is this person someone who is going to support me and hold my hands through the storms of life through the beautiful and the ugly can you communicate with this person can you share things from the past and ask questions without the fear of being judged by that person these are things you need to consider these are things you need to ask yourself before you say i do here's the second thing you need to ask yourself before you say i do number two does this person want kids and how do they want to raise their kids that's a very important question not only to ask yourself but it's a question to enter into discussion with it's so important this topic for you to discuss you know uh the the mindset and how and and what people are thinking about where their future is concerned i mean does this person envision you know the world while you're you know while you're staying at home with six kids and raising the babies you you need to understand what's their vision uh you may find out that they're they're not wanting to have kids right away or they might want to have kids right away or they might want to have a big family and you don't want to have a big family are you are you able to to have that discussion ask yourself you know this is something do they want kids i mean is that a deal breaker for you but the time it's certainly not time to talk about it after you say i do you these questions need to be dealt with within yourself and with the person that you're planning on marrying before you say i do number three do they know how to manage money ask yourself that question as you're considering saying i do to this spouse do they know how to manage money you know this is something you have to talk about finances you got to plan uh you got to write budgets you guys might decide to go to a a a class together a budgeting class together finances are definitely at the top of the list when it comes to uh the arguments that you have in in marriage finances are definitely at the top of the list uh when you when you deal with things that couples fight about and so you can avoid that by you know just not thinking that well that'll just all fall in place i mean she's cute and it'll be all right this is something you want to deal with right away i mean how much college debt is she bringing in this marriage or you're bringing in this marriage or who bought a car all that stuff needs to be considered and it needs to be talked about so you won't go and have this expensive wedding and instead you can get married in the backyard and say that money to pay some of that debt off i'm just joking but i i do believe that you need to ask yourself this question before you say i do and you need to get together to find out just what you're dealing with before you say i do talk about it early and plan ahead it's nothing that can't be worked out but talk about it early and plan ahead you you'll get you'll find yourself getting an argument where if you have your plan and you know your spouse has that plan and and you got you guys are both planning on doing something only to get in the marriage and discover that you can't afford neither one of you can afford to do what you want to do but by talking about it and planning it ahead of time then you can come up with a plan on and the patience necessary to be able to carry out what uh both of your desires are for that marriage and for that relationship but before you say i do that's something that desperately needs to be dealt with number four number four now this listen to this very carefully you ask yourself is this person abusive or manipulative in any way is this person before i say i do is this person abusive or is if is this person manipulative in any way would the marriage be what's this a safe place with the man would the marriage be a safe place now this is so very very important it's important to look for warning signs while you're dating sometimes somebody asked me one time he says i don't understand pastor dolo i keep drawing the same kind of no good for nothing man and and my answer to that was is because you continue to ignore the signs that are clearly demonstrated at the very beginning and that may be true for a lot of people it might not be that you're a bad person or you're just drawing somebody back you're not paying attention to the signs and so it's important to look for warning signs while you're dating i mean does this person already try to manipulate you and and guilt you into doing things are they abusive physically or verbally you know somebody you know puts their hand on you physically you don't need no second time to see if they really meant to do it you know you ask yourself that question do they tell you things like you can't do better than me wow if these things are happening while dating please see the signs and don't tell yourself that won't be there once we get married oh by the way i got the holy ghost and god is going to help me and we can fix this thing god calls us to build up one another and to love one another but abuse and manipulation are not foundations of of a godly lifestyle it's not foundation of a healthy marriage these types of manipulations and manipulative and abusive behaviors will most likely worsen once you get married they don't get better they get worse and so what happens is you ignore the signs at the beginning you're trying to ignore it before you say i do you end up saying i do and now you're wondering you know how did i get in this abusive toxic relationship because you ignored the signs is this person an abusive or a manipulate manipulative person in any way uh while we're dating and that's that's one of the reasons uh that you date so you get an opportunity to see what you got you know people can pretend for so long before the real them slips out and you need to pay attention to all that stuff that's leaking out and uh make sure you're not uh getting your life in a situation that would you know just make you miserable for your life and then finally here's the fifth question you need to ask yourself do they have a real relationship with jesus this is this is important and i don't think people understand this it's not do they go to church it's not you know can they say a fake prayer do they have a real relationship with the lord jesus christ you know there's no such thing as a perfect marriage i understand that however a marriage centered in christ is one that reflects selflessness that's how you can tell it's a problem if a person says they have jesus in their life and they are selfish it reflects selflessness a root that is planted deeper to understand the storms of life while the man you know he may be a spiritual leader uh is he willing to operate in biblical equality uh does he see you as christ saw the church uh that's so very important you know is he willing to be the head and the word head it uh it's it's the source by which love will now flow from him to you and um he as the head will flow uh the love and the things that will nourish you and then you guys together will flow and and nourish on down the line but that's real headship real headship is not coming in house talking about i'm the man of the house uh you better do what i tell you to do now that sounds like domination uh head is someone who says you know what i am going to be the love faucet that will flow love into you and i am going to flow nourishment into you and and and you know what happens that flow begins to come back to you and you begin to love one another and how she treats you is none of your business how you treat uh her is your business and you've got to understand that and and that's what i'm talking about when you have a relationship with jesus and you begin to bear the fruit that that demonstrates we can see in your life and how you carry yourself it demonstrates that you truly have a relationship with jesus christ you continue to realize that the success of a marriage is not going to be based and it isn't based on silly differences but it's all about forgiveness dependence on christ and uh and in the matters of the heart you have to understand that marriage is a commitment to love through everything that you face are you gonna be willing to love through everything that you face or are you looking for the one thing or the two things or the third thing that says i'm not staying here when people talk to me about you know they're having a hard time and they're thinking about getting a divorce they're thinking about leaving one another the first thing i think about is how jesus had to love through the cross he had to love through hell he just kept loving us through all of that i'm sure it might be difficult in some days for jesus to know i died for them suckers i went to hell for them i shed my blood for them and they act like this and they ignore me like this but his love is was outstanding and it still is outstanding and so i say to you that when weird things begin to happen in marriage it's just it's just called marriage you just got to learn how to love through and the question you've got to ask yourself is is this person worth me loving through that something that may happen in that marriage where that it would be enough to cause another other couples to break up but not for you because you've both decided and committed that i'm gonna love through these are very serious questions that you need to ask ask yourself and initiate conversations so that before you say i do at least you dealt with this why am i talking about this tonight why did i talk about overcoming death last week is because i want to build a live a library of understanding where i can give you practical things that you can access and it can help you before you make a mistake i could get all spiritual and all really deep about stuff but some things need to be so practical that there's no way you can misunderstand it and i pray that tonight was just that something that was just straight to the point so very practical things that you can put into practice right away and then hopefully when other people are engaged and thinking about getting marriage married these these 10 steps can help these five things can help and it can really put you in the right frame of mind to make sure that you've properly thought some things through and and live a blessed relationship with one another as as i believe god wants us to live but that's it for tonight let's pray over this and then i'll lead you to salvation tonight if you want to be saved father we we thank you for every couple that's thinking about getting married we thank you for uh the wisdom that's involved before we say i do and uh father i thank you that there is wisdom in the earth and i pray that we don't fail in the foundation i pray we don't fail in the basics and i pray tonight that as simple as this was and as practical as it was that that it that it will make a huge difference in the lives of single people as they live their lives and maybe you know come to the place of being engaged that they could say wait a minute i've i've got a 30-minute teaching here that i want to listen to again to help me to be better at what i'm about to engage in i pray that you bless everyone that's tuned in tonight i pray your blessings on everyone who will hear this word tonight and uh we give you praise in jesus name we pray and everybody said amen hey listen to me if you're here tonight and you've never made jesus the lord of your life and tonight you want to be born again and make him your lord and personal savior it's so simple if you'll pray this prayer right after me i'll lead you to the throne of grace you're ready let's pray repeat after me father i believe that i'm a sinner but right now i repent of all my sins i make you my lord and my savior i ask you to come into my heart save me lord forgive me of all of my sins father i ask that you come and sit on the throne of my heart and i thank you lord for being my savior and my lord i receive you now in jesus name amen praise god i tell you it's just that simple if you prayed that prayer of salvation with me i want you to text the key word i'm saved that's one word to 51555 provide your name and email address and we'll send you a free ebook as a gift to you today welcome to the family of god world changes nation uh if you'll go and congratulate those who prayed that prayer with me and if you prayed that prayer with me go to the comment section and tell them i just prayed that prayer i just got saved praise god we want to welcome you to the family of god that those people that will come and say that's that's your family man that's your family and you you're becoming you have just become a part of one of the biggest gangs on the planet so welcome to the kingdom of god let's conclude our worship tonight uh with our giving and our gift-giving you notice that i just haven't gotten off this one point because this is the one point that changed my life it's the point of understanding that i give as a worship to god i don't give a trying to get god to do something i recognize that he's already given me victory i recognize that he's already blessed me and so instead of me trying to give to get god to do what i've come to recognize that he's already done [Music] i give out of honor and i give out of respect and love and appreciation for what he's already done i give with a grateful heart i give with a heart of gratitude i give with a cheerful heart you know and not out of necessity and i tell you there's just something so amazing about you know come before the lord with thanksgiving uh bring give glory to his name bring an offering and worship him in the beauty of his holiness wow and that's what you do you bring that offering and and on your mind you're thinking about all the things that god has done for you he saved you sanctified you healed you delivered you loved you he's teaching you he picks you up he gives you just what you need and then it comes to time to say lord i bring a gift to you and and it's just it just means so much to me to not uh during offering time have to deal with condemnation or guilt or shame but what i deal with is the joy of knowing that jesus has already done it and i i want to bless him because i think about how often he has been a blessing to me so at this time let's uh complete our worship through our gift giving and if you'd like to text you can give you can text world changers space and the amount to 74483 if you'd like to call that number on your screen 1-866-477-7683 you can do that you can send in mail 2500 burdette road college park georgia 30349 or you can give on the web at worldchangers.org or creflodollarministries.org where you can give online use your paypal if you're viewing in from another country and it's just a blessing of the lord to be able to worship him and give him thanks for what he's already done and to bring a gift praise god well hey guys uh it's i hope i pray that that this helped you out and that it it blessed you and i look forward to teaching you more and more we're going to talk about things like you know is membership biblical and what do i do when i become a member how do i how do i operate as a good member a member that's going to be a blessing not someone that's always coming to church and looking for something to be done for them but they come ready to fill the cup and i think about the guy who said the bible calls him the man with the picture in his hands he's going around and trying to get everybody to feel that picture i don't want to be the guy with an empty picture in my hands i want to be the guy that's filling up all of the empty pinch pitches that come by and so that's what we do it's it's what what can we do for the kingdom what can we do for our local church what can we do for one another we are trying to create an atmosphere of servanthood in our church and to revitalize what it means to serve god to serve the kingdom of god and to serve one another and i'm just so excited about all of that well this coming sunday is easter and uh we got something special for you join us online and um hey crew i love you guys so much thank you for being here with me tonight now unto him who's able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the almighty god be glory majesty dominion and power both now and forever and everybody said amen good night everybody have a great night

Channel: Creflo Dollar Ministries

Views: 27,869

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Keywords: creflo, creflodollar, worldchangers, taffi, taffidollar, grace, megachurch, collegepark, atlantachurch, sermon, gracelife, tbn, pastors, church, pastordollar, drdollar

Id: zMQELxpew3I

Length: 37min 16sec (2236 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 31 2021